[Announcement] The Daily Prophet - January 2004 Edition

Volume 23: January 2004

PAGE 1: CURRENT EVENTS AND MINI PLOTS

world Burns Night is an annual Muggle celebration of Scotland's most famous poet - Robert Burns - now widely enjoyed by magical communities. On this day, the Scots (and Scots at heart) come together to join in a night of celebrating the country's national bard, with good food, good company, good prose and a wee dram or two of whiskey. Festivities will be held all weekend across Scotland and even in London, though the largest magical celebration will be held in Edinburgh Castle. The whole city will be decked out in Saltire flags, with street performers, food stalls and of course, pipers. From whiskey tasting masterclasses and Highland dancing, to readings of the great man himself, it's a countrywide party, showing a world of tradition and heritage. Many pubs in the country will be taking part in the Supper, a feast draped in tradition. With the host's speech, the piping in of the guests, the address of the haggis and the singing of Burns' most famous poems, the night is certainly a spectacular sight to behold. hogwarts With the icy weather, some parts of the Black Lake have frozen over, leading professors to rope off the sections nearest to the castle shore for students to skate on, provided at least one staff member is available to supervise. Any students spotted skating out-of-bounds or out-of-hours will be promptly given detention... though professors hope that the possibility of hypothermia or drowning is deterrent enough. Encouraged by their peers, some students have organised a 3v3 ice hockey tournament on Sunday, January 11th, for hockey players of all experience levels: from those who have played before to those who are confused about why there's only one goal. Some students have already formed teams and are now practising in earnest, for Professor Flitwick has promised a box of ice mice each to the winning team (and, of course, bragging rights.)

beauxbatons Madame Maxime has begun to post information about the upcoming Pegasus Derby for students to begin preparing. Planned to take place in march, students will have the opportunity to visit the stables and become familiar with the horses prior to the competition, though they won’t be assigned to their mounts for weeks. Some students have begun vying for the attention of the handsomest or most talented magical beasts, and Care of Magical Creatures Professeur Dalcy is keeping a sharp eye out for anybody sneaking whiskey out of the kitchens for them. However, some students are far more concerned with the school’s other sporting event. With Bellefeuille well in the lead after the first two Quidditch matches, hostility between Ombrelune and Papillonlisse Quidditch players -- and their friends -- is at an all time high; after a duel in the library left him with a sporting duck bill, Monsieur Visser has placed a blanket ban on hexes in the aisles, punishable by a long evening helping him to rid his extensive newspaper archive of paper mites.  durmstrang After the interesting dueling tournament from last month, Durmstrang is celebrating Kaliady, a Belarusian holiday celebrated until the 7th of January. There will be a feast on the final day of this holiday, and classes are cancelled on this final day. The people of Döttrar Vik are expecting “trick or treat” style visits from students dressed up as animals or magical beasts. Finally, a play is scheduled for Saturday the 10th in Döttrar Vik, where student involvement is voluntary. It was whispered that Erik Fisker, the professor in charge of his project, is offering extra-credit for actors and technical work done for this holiday play. Auditions occurred just before the winter holidays and practices are known to go late into the night. Please contact Klyk Vampira 7th year Anya Kozlova (NPC) for any interest inquiries into the play overall, acting, or technical duties. ilvermorny After what the Ilvermorny administration hopes was a restful vacation, students are welcomed back and encouraged to work hard through the end of the term. In the nearby town of Shackamaxon, preparations are underway for a winter farmer’s market which will be held every Saturday and Sunday from 9 am through 5 pm throughout the month. This is the perfect time to try locally sourced meats, produce, baked goods, jams, and other artisanal items. Also, a good place to get some of those last-minute souvenirs to send home. Students are encouraged to come to try the wares and spend some time outside enjoying the last stretch of winter.    The end of the month marks the Chinese New Year for which the school will be hosting a festival filled with delicious food, fun activities, and a firework show. Since spots for the cultural activities are limited, those interested in participating in any immersive activities are encouraged to contact the Student Government Association to ask about spots. Volunteers are always welcomed!

PAGE 2: SPORTS

january highlights The Gravesend Griffins have taken the top ranking this month, after two spectacular wins against the Ballycastle Bats and the Appleby Arrows. The match on Saturday, 12 January was particularly long and rainy; after the Bats’ ignominious defeat, Bats Beater Colin Keene hurled his bat at a referee and was suspended for two weeks from play. The Bats were also defeated by the Chudley Cannons in what may have been the slowest match of the season so far. This win shot the Cannons into the top three, only ten points above the Bats (ranked fourth.) Though their winning streak was ended in their fourth match, the Cannons still seem to be enjoying quite rare luck. Cannons manager Ragmar Dorkins reportedly had to be revived magically upon hearing the news, though Quidditch experts warn that it’s still too soon to change the club motto, “Let's all just keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.” Despite starting Chaser Ginny Potter’s temporary departure from the team, the Holyhead Harpies have maintained a middling position in the league: a mightily impressive performance when considering the number of reserve players flying in each game. In similar straits are the Kenmare Kestrels; this reporter thinks they may have celebrated Ireland’s victory in the Four Nations Tournament a little too much. Finally, special mention must be made of the Caerphilly Catapults, which launched to the top five from the bottom three. Quidditch analyst Constantine Cross, of Quidditch Queries fame on WWN, accredited this to the foul play of Beaters Alun Davies and Gethin Edwards, who were jointly responsible for nearly two-dozen fouls during the Catapults vs. Kestrels match on Saturday the 24th. (This was contested in the strongest terms by numerous Catapults fans for the remainder of the programme.) To nobody’s surprise, the Tutshill Tornadoes have torpedoed to last place, although, in Mr. Cross’s words, they hadn’t far to go.

IT’S TIME TO ASK THE MILLION-GALLEON QUESTION Nobody wanted to voice it, but it’s finally time to ask: what in Merlin’s name is going on? A number of Daily Prophet readers have taken it upon themselves to propose theories as to the Chudley Cannons’ incredible season thus far: Illegal Use of Felix Felicis (suggested by 19 readers): self-explanatory. [Editor’s note: One Daily Prophet representative’s report of Cannons Seeker Edward Huckabee’s efforts to ask multiple witches out for a drink after the Cannons-Falcons game suggests strongly that this is not the case.] Bribery: Who does Cannons manager Ragmar Dorkins have in his pocket? He's a regular at The Goblin Hole in Diagon Alley, so has anybody considered that something sinister is going on? It wouldn’t be the first time Quidditch has seen underhanded dealings with goblins. Frankly it wouldn't be Quidditch without it. Supersensory Charms: Though this theory admittedly doesn’t account for the Cannons’ relatively high scoring, one wonders how their notoriously distracted Seeker and Captain has been catching the Snitch so regularly. Four times in five is much better than even the staunchest Cannons fans could have expected… I’m just saying. Just Dumb Luck: Has anybody considered that maybe this is because of the other teams? Apart from the predictably bad performances in Tutshill and Wimbourne, the Montrose Magpies have been in remarkably poor form of late, and the less said about the Arrows the better. Maybe the entire sport is going down like stunned Pixies. It may be time to start paying our attention to the Wizarding sport of the future: Quodpot. Cobbing: They should never have outlawed cobbing!

CURRENT BRITISH & IRISH QUIDDITCH LEAGUE STANDINGS Gravesend Griffins – 1710 Falmouth Falcons – 1540 Chudley Cannons – 1450 Ballycastle Bats  – 1440 Caerphilly Catapults – 1400 Pride of Portree  – 1340 Holyhead Harpies – 1300 Appleby Arrows – 1260 Kenmare Kestrels – 1140 Montrose Magpies – 1120 Puddlemere United – 1100 Wigtown Wanderers – 980 Wimbourne Wasps – 920 Tutshill Tornadoes – 790

PAGE 3: OTHER NEWS

POTTER PREGNANCY New year, new... Potter?  You heard it here first, folks: the Potter family is expecting their firstborn later this spring. Up until this point, Ginny Potter has been assuming her starting Chaser position with the Harpies as usual - though she did reportedly reassure one concerned fan that 'appropriate precautions' (whatever that entails) were taken. With this pregnancy announcement, though, she has simultaneously announced a leave of absence from the sport effective January 1st. At this time it is unclear when (or even if) she plans to return, though we here at the Prophet suspect she will be out for the remainder of the season at minimum. The couple would like to thank their well-wishers, though they have requested donations to charity in lieu of gifts. Potion Testers Needed Athesda Apothecaries Limited in Knockturn Alley is Hiring Part-Time potions testers for a new lineup of homeopathic remedies. Applicants must be in decent health, under the age of 120, able to hover on a broom for at least one hour at a time, and able to lift a number two pewter cauldron or more. Disclaimer: Testers will be paid based on the number of vials consumed, not at an hourly rate. All participants in trials willingly take on risks, including (but not limited to) hair loss, itchy ears, advanced aging, memory loss, increased appetite, lousy luck, and death.

FLOO BURGLAR BURGLES HIS LAST BURG After several months terrorising Northern England and Scotland, the so-called Floo Burglar was finally apprehended robbing a Liverpool witch’s living room of expensive Divination equipment when an armoire of the homeowner’s, enchanted against such an occasion, trapped him inside itself. The Burglar, identified as petty thief Peter “Rocky” Rye, was a former Floo Network Regulator released from employment in late 2001 after a slew of misconduct complaints; he is currently being held by the Department of Magical Law Enforcement until his arraignment on 15 January. The Ministry of Magic has searched Rye’s Nottingham flat extensively, but have located very few of the stolen items within, leading them to suspect they have been sold already, through legal or illegal means; a small team of Hit Wizards, Aurors, and Aurors-in-training is set to inspect the most noteworthy black market hubs for stolen goods from the Floo Burglar. The Department of Magical Transportation, meanwhile, has begun to make arrangements with some wizards allowing them to “close” their fireplaces when they aren’t at home, though their new system is still in-progress; one witch involved in the first trials claimed that constantly changing her house’s connection to the Floo Network had left the interior of her fireplace smelling strongly of sulfur.

THE SORCEROR'S SLOPES AROSA, SWITZERLAND -- The wizarding ski resort in Arosa is renowned for its apres ski parties - this ski season is no exception. Come along to the Swiss Alps for fondue and fun in the snow. MALACLAW MALADY After purchasing and cooking five Mackled Malaclaws, a family from the Muggle British nobility and their dinner guests (along with numerous members of their staff) were rushed to St. Mungo’s with fevers and green skin for Healing and emergency memory modification. Magical creature breeder Yorick Cavanaugh has been arrested on charges of Muggle-baiting and is in Azkaban awaiting trial; Hit Wizards turned up over two dozen more Malaclaws on ice in his London flat, charmed to appear like nonmagical lobsters and marked with price tags. While the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes and the Department for the Control and Regulation of Magical Creatures attempt to ascertain how many more Malaclaws have made their way to the Muggle public, two representatives  from the Obliviators are on temporary assignment at St. Mungo’s. The Magical Law Enforcement Patrol issued a reminder once again that, since the second Wizarding war, Muggle-baiting is a crime punishable by fines up to fifty galleons or up to six months in Azkaban.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Is anyone looking into the theory that this Oliver Rigby person is using love potions? My brother suggested that when I was talking about the F.A.M.E. Awards last week and now I can’t stop thinking about how much sense it makes. Like, his music’s not bad or anything but attaching himself to one of the Banshee boys probably got him so much more influence and name recognition than he would have had. Maybe even his record deal in the first place!? They’re with the same label, right? Did Liam get him in the room? And Liam Thompson definitely doesn’t seem like himself, right? He’s never been a romantic person and, I’ll admit I don’t keep track of him as well as I do Sam (<3), but I know he’s always flirted with women a lot and I don’t think he’s ever shown any (actual) interest in men at all! This all came out of absolutely nowhere and really helped Oliver Rigby with his career. Not to be an armchair Auror but I really think someone should investigate this!     Suspicious in Sheffield                     Dear Editor, It has come to my regrettable attention that someone at your magazine found it appropriate to publish an article regarding my personal business and therefore I find it of fundamental importance to make sure your poor, vapid readers come to understand the truth. As you, an employee to a larger corporation yourself might come to understand, a paid position comes with a series of responsibilities. Naturally, if you are in search of a higher income, you must first ask yourself “how far am I willing to go to get what I want?” so that you might start your search with expectations. Though the trouble of money is a frivolous one in my opinion, it does not buy one happiness after all, my family takes great pride in paying their employees top price for their services.   Therefore, is it wrong for me to expect they do their best at all times? If anything, I hear constructive criticism is all the rage, I haven’t a clue because my meticulous nature cannot be construed as a desire to see improvement, professional development as you will. If you are my employee, you are agreeing to do whatever I ask, why else would I pay such an exorbitant amount of money for your service?  Anyway, the only reason the man became unemployed was at the bidding of one Ms. Nessa Regan who was so dissatisfied with his service she threatened to quit. So please, in your future aimless attempts to tarnish my impeccable reputation seek the facts, first. Since I know that everyone must be dying to know about my personal business, yes, I have given birth to a beautiful little boy whom, in the tradition of the Reinhardt family, we have named Niklaus. So as everyone can probably imagine, not only has this cook’s disturbing accusation caused me a lot of grief but possibly put the health of my child in danger. In short, if you intend to continue running this ridiculously gossipy magazine filled with information no decent person cares about, I’d highly recommend that you turn your attention away from me and to some more common member of your little society. I appreciate your attention to this matter. Sincerely, Genevieve D. Reinhardt

Interview with Aglaya Antonovna Tikhomirova 29 December, RYBINSK -- Aglaya Antonovna, we’re glad you agreed to give an interview. We’ve heard speculations about you over the past months and our readers would, of course, like to know what really happened. Rumour has it that you’ve been poisoned during the open day at the artistic flying school at the end of August. Is that true and, if it is, how are you now? AAT: Truth is that I suffered from food poisoning back then which kept me from performing a second time during the open day. I felt quite sick then but it was nothing dramatic. So you’re saying that nobody tried to kill you? AAT: Exactly. It seems odd that you’re only coming forth with a clarification now. You haven’t been seen in public for four months. Your family refused to comment when confronted with the rumour. The artistic flying community has been worried about you but neither you nor your family made a statement that reassured your fans that everything was fine. AAT: I agree that this has been handled rather poorly and I sincerely apologise to my fans. I wasn’t even aware that these rumours had been taken seriously by some or else I would naturally have given a statement already earlier. To explain my absence - the open day traditionally coincides with the end of our competitive season and I took a planned break then to get some rest and make plans for the future. I focused on myself and did not really follow what has or hasn’t been communicated at the artistic flying school. Sounds as though you blame the artistic flying school i. e. your family for the miscommunication. AAT: Not at all. Well, my family usually gives press statements during the off season if there’s the need to communicate anything. I guess this has mostly been a lack of communication within the family. Again I can only apologise to everyone who has been worried. This seems to be another proof that you do not have a lot of backing from your family anymore. You have also been working without a coach this past season. Isn’t it a fact that your family has dropped you in favour of your younger sister and is expecting you to retire? AAT: Hardly. I’ve been able to defend my European title this summer and I’m currently back to working with Aleksandra Viktorovna [editor’s note: Aleksandra Viktorovna Shishkina, renowned coach at the artistic flying school and co-inventor of the sport]. My sister is a fantastic athlete but she is not replacing me. We are rivals and will keep competing against each other. If she wants to be the number one in the sport she has to beat me at the championships. I won’t just make way for her.

You didn’t participate in the annual gala at the artistic flying school yesterday. There have been wild speculations that you are dead - which you obviously are not - that you are still suffering from a poisoning and, of course, that there are insurmountable differences between you and your family who are running the school. What is the real reason? AAT: It’s actually quite simple. When I decided to go on competing after having taken a few weeks off, I struggled with a technical element in practice and injured my shoulder quite badly. That resulted in another break from training and consequently meant that I wasn’t able to get ready in time for the gala. But are you healthy and back to training now? AAT: I am much better now, thank you. I’m still taking it slowly at the moment but will be back to full training pretty soon. The added security at the gala seemed to confirm the rumours after the open day. Now you’ve said that nothing happened. Why the enhanced precautions then? AAT: We have been worried that the false rumours, which have been printed in the papers, might inspire some copycat criminals. Besides, the artistic flying school strives to set an example of how big events should be handled ideally. It’s better to take precautions now than to possibly regret the lack thereof later. Our sport is currently getting more attention than it used to receive only a few years ago. It is, therefore, only natural that this results in changes regarding the organisation of artistic flying events. Thank you for taking the time to answer our questions and good luck for the new season. AAT: Thank you. Hogwarts "Sources tell us the Slytherin Quidditch team is ramping up its practice schedule. Team Captain Andronicus Lovecraft and fellow beater Benjamin Danvers were seen on the pitch targeting flying dummies enchanted by Benjamin last month." Beauxbatons Whoever left their cauldron on auto-fill in the potions laboratory needs to return to clean up copious amounts of macaroni au fromage from the floor. -- Signed, an annoyed professor (and not your mother) Durmstrang Classified: A "friend" purchased something from the fisherman's village in Döttrar Vik and got cursed. This "friend" is willing to pay top sickles to an upperclassman skilled in curse breaking and keeping secrets. Ilvermorny High-level sources inside the student senate at Ilvermorny have reported seeing the Caretaker and the School Nurse on what looked like a date in Shackamaxon over the holiday weekend.

PAGE 5: CREDITS AND NOTICES

information We have revamped The Daily Prophet based on member feedback and welcome any comments or suggestions in an effort to further improve the Prophet. credits This issue was created by the Administration team, with additional submissions and ideas from Emily, Gage, Laura, and Lilly. We would like to thank Christine for the super easy to use coding, and Samm for the amazing header. how to contribute We would love to include more member-led stories and submissions. This can be in the form of in-character letters to the editors, rumours and gossip, or character-driven plots. You can submit your ideas to any member of the team, however if you have something in mind for a specific geographical area of the board please try to contact the admin for that area: Olivia for Hogwarts/Britain, Lianne for Beauxbatons/Western Europe, Dylan for Durmstrang/Eastern Europe, and Mel for Ilvermorny/North America.

• the power of possibly dozens of devoted fans keeping their fingers crossed and hoping for the best

have cut out the article to save for future baby potter to know how much the public cared about them before even being born