we'll have halloween on christmas [:dash]

NPC ~ Lucas Thompson

Everyone was leery, he'd noticed.

Alcohol had been flowing continuously over the past few hours and it was a cheery atmosphere but really, he was feeling anything but. The tall broad man was dressed smartly, suit jacket and trousers and a crisp pale blue shirt but no tie. His top button was undone, revealing a hint of his lightly tanned clavicle as he took a sip of his champagne, his long fingers gripping the delicate stem of the glass tightly.

He'd managed to pull Arden away but it was damn near impossible to have a decent conversation with her. There was chatter and loud music and that strange ex-boyfriend of hers that hovered around like a bad smell.

Lucas leant over the bow of the boat and faced the sea, the cool sea salted breeze ruffling his pale blonde locks as he scuffed his shoe against the desk absently. Arden was beside him.

"You know I don't think I've told you yet but you look really beautiful tonight," he told the shorter brunette with a small smile as he looked down at her. That much was true. She looked so…different. Good different. His voice was soft and kind and yeah, sure, he fancied her but she'd rejected him. He had to respect her choice. Granted, she'd made the wrong choice. It was frustrating, seeing her every day and he felt so weirdly protective of her.

"Have you had a nice time so far?" Lucas asked casually. "I've not really had much of a chance to talk to you," he explained with a small smile. Pathetically, he'd spent most of the evening eyeballing her from across the room. He didn't like to lose but this wasn't a game. Arden wasn't the prize.

They'd laughed and they'd joked. The conversation had been cheerful and easy, as it ever was. He was big enough to know when he was beaten.

The temperature was dropping, he'd noticed. They'd spent a little over and hour together outside and away from the crowd. "Are you cold?" Lucas asked Arden quickly. Without waiting for a response, he quickly shrugged out of his suit jacket and placed it across her shoulders and he was unable to help himself from rubbing his warm palms against her shoulder blades.

"Do you want to head back inside?" He asked her, one of his hand nervously fiddling with his starched collar. Honestly? Lucas had no desire to head back inside. He liked his work colleagues but Sindri was inside and it was no secret the two men didn't get along that well. Or at all.

Once inside, Lucas took a sharp step forward as he was so rudely thumped on the back. Some of the fizzy alcohol he'd been drinking had been spilled on the floor by the action. His big blue eyes were wide as he looked around quickly, his surprise turning to thinly veiled annoyance at the arrival of the man in question. Bloody lovely.

The hand on his chest was the last straw. His thick eyebrows came down in a rush to furrow, a muscle in his strong defined jaw twitched as he ground his teeth, the fingers on the glass he was holding twitched, turning the knuckles white. "Back off, pal," Lucas said lowly, just so Sindri could here. His voice was soft but stony and anyone who was near could hear the animosity present.

He made a move to step aside and out from under his arm, carelessly taking Sindri's hand odd his chest as he flung it back at him. Lucas stepped towards Arden automatically, his broad shoulders cutting an imposing figure. He just wanted to keep her safe and that included far away from drunken ex-partners.

"I think you've had enough," he said slow but firmly, determined not to make a scene but he wasn't going to stand for any petty behaviour. "Maybe you should get some coffee," he said evenly, placing a finger on the other man's chest and giving him a small but firm push backwards and away from him. "They're serving some at the bar." With that, he turned his back on Sindri and focused his attention back on Arden. "Feeling warmer now?"

Everything became very still when he said her name. Dash. “I…” her instincts told her to apologise. It was deeply ingrained in her to be polite and humble to a fault. She didn’t want him to upset him or make him uncomfortable, but there was something in his tone that stopped her. Instead, she watched him intently, with wide eyes and slightly parted lips, waiting for him to add a few more words on to that sentence. Her gaze flicked between his eyes. She could feel the note of sentimentality in his voice too, and wished that he’d behave a little out of character and voice his thoughts.

Dash winced when someone called her name. A deliberate moment after Sindri, the pretty brunette turned to the sound, recognising the voice before she saw the man it belonged to. Her eyebrows came together in a slight frown, but before she had a chance to ask Lucas to wait for a moment, Sindri was speaking. Her focus snapped to him immediately – there was something in his tone that was surprising and demanded her attention. “Sindri, wait, don’t–” Her voice was too gentle and it was too late. She felt herself shift forward, like she was going to follow him, but stopped herself before she could do anything rash. Confusion was evident in her expression, but she stayed silent. She watched him leave.

After a moment of hesitation, she turned back to Lucas. Trying to shake the feeling, the brunette urged herself to smile. Sindri made her feel all kinds of things, but mostly she was just confused and a little stressed. A part of her was filled with a sad ache when she realised that she actually had no idea what he was thinking. She’d come to terms with being separated months ago, but it was still strange to be reminded of the fact. She wasn’t sure if she missed him or the familiarity of it all. Dash was disappointed that whatever had been happening a moment ago was over, but the brunette spent most of the next hour with Lucas. Eventually his enthusiasm turned her forced smile into a real one.

They went inside to watch their manager open the christmas present they’d all pitched in for, but after that they spent most of the time outside. Lucas was as sweet as ever, offering Dash his jacket when he noticed her shiver. Conversing with him was easy. Right now, the Hufflepuff alumni wasn’t sure what she wanted, but was it okay to simply enjoy his company? Lucas knew that she was still in a strange place when it came to dating. She wasn’t leading him on. They had a couple more drinks together and by the time he eventually suggested that they go inside, she agreed compliantly. He’d managed to help her shake the strangeness that she’d been feeling earlier. Dash doubted that Sindri would approach them now. He was an avoider, after all. 

Her smile froze on her face as her ex appeared with them suddenly. Her expression became wary as she realised that he was seriously drunk. The Sindri she knew rarely drank enough to get anywhere past tipsy, but then again… she knew it didn’t take much. She really wouldn’t have minded, except for the way that he’d immediately gone for Lucas. Her hazel eyes flicked between them uncertainly. “I did introduce you two,” she told him cautiously. The woman could feel the tension from Lucas’ side of things and she felt her stress levels rising. Her eyebrows came together in a deep frown. What was Sindri doing?

Her hazel eyes widened slightly at Lucas’ response, but her gaze was fixed on Sindri. The brunette doubted anyone had ever spoken to him like that. He was just too… nice. Sindri was far too sweet for anyone to feel the need. It felt like an overreaction, though she couldn’t doubt his motives. Lucas was a good guy too. She shifted away from the blonde man slightly, her subtle body language betraying the fact that she was uncomfortable with the way he seemed to be acting as her protector. She wasn't a damsel in distress here. Besides, didn’t he realise? Sindri wasn’t a threat, he was gentle. A little drunk and out of line right now, sure, but still good. She was sure that they'd be mates under different circumstances. Dash wasn’t entirely sure who to fault, but it was obvious that there were sides here. “Guys, don't.” she said softly, trying to command attention without being too overbearing. She took a small step forward, involving herself more in the situation. A confused frown was sent Lucas’ way when he asked if she was warmer.

Arden's voice sounded distant, her feeble attempts to calm Sindri down had floated out of the room before they reached his ears. Sindri was focused on one person and one person only. Lucas. Everyone else in the room, all the shouting, the music, everything had faded away. The look on blond man's face spoke volumes before he could even respond to Sindri's drunken advance, and it was clear that he was less that pleased with the interruption. Back off pal. Sindri couldn't help but laugh out loud, his dimpled smile betraying the anger that was swelling in his chest. Sindri didn't remove his gaze from Lucas, his eyes hard and focused and contrasting the jovial smile plastered on his face. The twenty-two year old had a fiery temper that few people had ever seen, and he could feel it bubbling, poisoning any rational thought he once had. This man's attempt at intimidation was laughable to Sindri, even more so because he didn't realize it.

At Lucas's suggestion that he get some coffee, Sindri again chuckled, the sarcasm in his tone now quite apparent if it wasn't before. Who was this guy anyway? It was a Christmas party, Sindri was just trying to spread the holiday spirit - or so he justified. "Oh!" Sindri took a step back to glance at the bar in mock amazement. "Lucas, pal," He purposely repeated the word with emphasis to reiterate whatever point he was trying to make. "You really are a top bloke. So sensible!" Sindri clapped his hands together and turned to Dash for reassurance. He didn't want to, but he was prepared to aim his anger in any direction at this point. Just as the man was about to get a second opinion he felt a small shove backward. Sindri stumbled before catching his balance - he was clearly unprepared for any sort of physicality during the encounter.

Sindri focused in on the blond man who now stood between he and Dash with his back to him. The fact that he was treating Sindri as if he was some vagrant begging for money only set him off more. Sindri decided that he clearly was not aware of the history he shared with the petite brunette he was now speaking to. 'Feeling warmer now?' Even in his drunken haze, the man could hear every word loud and clear. Suddenly, his limbs felt hot and ready to move, the energy flowing through him was unstoppable. When he was heated, Sindri became a different man, unrecognizable to most people in his circle. The once even-tempered, nurturing, man became something else entirely. He was strong - stronger than even he gave himself credit for, and when he was angry he had no problem demonstrating it. Most people would be mortified to see him act in such a way, but Sindri was so far removed from worrying about that, he didn't even calculate his next move.

The man who usually, quite painfully, thought through every decision he made and word he said was all but present. Sindri was acting entirely based on his temper of which he had no control. "Oh no, mate," He forcefully took Lucas by the shoulder to swing him around. "I think you're confused," Sindri reeled his free hand back, his fist closed and heading for the man's jaw. Growing up with two brothers had taught him a thing or two about landing a solid punch, even if he was out of his mind. From then, Sindri saw red, everything had faded away and he was completely out of control. He certainly would regret this tomorrow but in the moment, the release felt damn good. He had no intention of making his interruption a physical one, but once the man laid a finger on him, Sindri decided it fair game.

NPC ~ Lucas Thompson

Unlike Arden's ex-partner, Lucas was stone cold sober. He'd had two glasses of wine the entire evening. He wasn't a big drinker. He wasn't even a social drinker. He didn't smoke, either. He wasn't much fun. A small (very small, teeny really) part of him was worried for Sindri in his current state. The man could easily fall overboard. With any luck, some seagulls would peck his eyes out.

The frown Arden threw him made him blink, confusion clear on his handsome face. His question was simple and clear. She was wearing his suit jacket after all. He wasn't trying to make anyone jealous. He was just worried she might be cold, she wasn't wearing very much. Her dress was very short.

"I know you did," Lucas commented softly when she said they'd been introduced before. Of course they had. He'd been harbouring a faint dislike for the man which only festered when he smiled at him. "How could I forget," he muttered, looking away and downing the rest of his drink.

The way that Arden seemed so interested in that man hurt his feelings. She'd made it perfectly clear that she wasn't interested in him but it still hurt. Why was she still defending him? He hadn't done anything. They were just having a chat, overlooking the water, minding their own business.

Sindri's words made Lucas git his teeth, the fingers he had holding onto the stem of the wine glass tightened, his knuckles turning white. Top bloke. Funny. Annoyance positively radiated off him in waves. He visibly tensed, shoulders set and heckles raised. Lucas usually prided himself on being a nice, amicable man. Even tempered and friendly but he was mad. Real mad.

"Thank you," Lucas grunted despite the other man's words not being that complimentary. His big blue eyes looked at Arden. As she stepped forward, he did the same, his broad, heavy frame blocking her path as though to say stay. Sindri was volatile and dangerous and she deserved better. So much more than what she'd settled for.

Swiftly, Lucas spun when Sindri turned him around. Rude. He and Arden were having a conversation. He was taller than Sindri. Not that it really mattered in the scheme of things now anyway. He was laughing at him. Lucas bit down hard on the sides of his tongue so hard that he could taste the tell tale coppery taste of blood. He inhaled and held his breath. This was a party. Public place. He needed to behave.

"I don't --"

Thud.

Sindri's fist collided with his jaw before he could do anything about it. The sheer force knocked him backwards and he staggered, his head being whipped around so hard he thought he might be suffering from whiplash. Lucas' back smacked the rail of the boat and pain spread almost instantly. It wasn't dignified. His knees  buckled, one hand gripping the rail. The pain was intense. His jaw, the point where Sindri's fist collided, was red. Deep, angry red.

Lucas straightened up, eyes like fire and seething. He threw his wine glass to the deck, letting it smash into a million tiny glimmering pieces. He rounded on Sindri, his chest rising and falling thinly as he panted. Fight fire with fire, his father had said.

But he wasn't like that.

He was blazing. His injured jaw throbbed angrily as adrenaline pumped through his veins. His hands were shaking. "Arden," Lucas said calmly, much calmly than he felt. With his free hand, she reached up and touched the warm, tender spot on his jaw. He needed to breathe. He needed to slow down. Whatever alcohol he had taken was blurring his judgement. He hadn't done anything. This was all Sindri's doing. Every single fibre of his being was on fire. Tingling. Bouncing. "I'm so very sorry." With that, Lucas pulled his left hand right back and ploughed it in the direction of the other man's nose. He'd learn to aim for the nose. It usually made the receiver fantastically angry. Lucas put all of his weight behind the throw, swinging from the hip like anyone with a brain should. 

So very sorry.

Somehow, Dash had thought that Lucas would be the bigger man here and take a step back. Her shock and then frustration were evident on her expression. She didn’t give them much time to tussle, fumbling her wand out of her clutch purse immediately and making a strong slashing movement towards the two. Lucas’ punch landed, but it barely had a chance to make contact before an invisible pulse sent Lucas stumbling back a few steps. Dash moved forward, grabbing on to Sindri’s shirt with one hand and reefing him back as she spun away. The woman felt like she was dragging him through a wall of thick rubber as they disapparated off of the vessel with a loud pop!

The two reappeared on uneven grassy ground, and Dash’s momentum had her tumble to her knees. She released her tight grip on Sindri’s clothes so that she could catch herself. Pulling herself to her feet, the woman realised something rather horrendous. She’d snapped her wand in the fall. Such an event would usually have all of her attention, but right now she was so full of coiled up emotion that it seemed like a much smaller deal than it would have otherwise been. Dash dropped her shattered wand (ash, unicorn tail hair, ten inches) and turned to Sindri, her eyes flashing dangerously with accusation and anger. It was all him. All of it. Everything that she was feeling right now – the sadness, anger, the ache – all attributed to the man in front of her. Somehow, all of her confusion and frustration had come to a head. Why couldn’t she have saved it for a time when he wasn’t horribly intoxicated? Maybe it was better this way.

Dash took a deep breath of cold air through her nose, exhaling slowly through her parted lips. Anger was easy to suppress. She reminded herself of this fact several times as she watched him. “Happy now?” she demanded accusingly, gesturing sharply with her hands and raising her eyebrows. The woman’s voice was tight, but her expression was more than simply angry. This hurt. “He didn’t do anything, ugh!” Dash covered her face with both of her hands for a moment, rocking back on her heels, like she’d be able to hide forever. After a second, she dropped her hands to her sides. It was humiliating. Humiliating that he’d done this, even though she hadn’t done it. She shared his future embarrassment. Again, she’d have to face Lucas the following Monday with explanations and apologies. The image of the taller man moving forward to reciprocate Sindri’s action flashed in her mind... Maybe she’d just avoid him. The brunette had felt like she'd been drowning in waves of testosterone and misplaced aggression rolling off of the two men and she couldn’t stand it.

Her work mates would ask questions. She didn’t know if it would have been better to simply try to pull them apart or even to just walk away, but a part of her wanted to have Sindri alone. Especially now, even though spilling out her frustrations would be pointless at the moment. Her hazel gaze bore into him, all full of questions and emotion that she couldn’t hide. He probably couldn’t hear a word she was saying. “It’s not you,” she said insistently, obviously distressed. This kind of behaviour was so far out of his usual that she’d only ever seen it a small handful of times. Dash wasn’t worried that he might hurt her, she was upset at the events of the past five minutes. She could feel tears stinging her eyes, and she glanced upward, blinking quickly in the hopes that she wouldn’t cry again.

The woman straightened out the bottom of her dress with tense hands, realising only now where she’d taken them in the heat of the moment. They were halfway across the country, in a little meadow where they used to have picnics. Her gaze returned to meet his. Maybe he hadn’t noticed. She hoped not. The fact that they were somewhere both private and very familiar wasn't something that he needed to focus on now. Frowning, her throat still tight and her treacherous eyes threatening to overflow with tears, she spoke again. “Give me your wand, I’ll take you back to London.”

Everything had started happening so fast that Sindri could hardly even grasp the concept of time. How long had it been since he had punched Lucas in the jaw? He wasn't even sure -- all he knew was that a fist was coming straight for his nose and would likely cause him a great deal of pain. The frames of his vision seemed to be lapsed, and every time he blinked the limb was closer and closer to his face, practically moving in slow motion. Sindri's motor skills were so off that he hadn't a chance to defend the blow, but it appeared that he didn't even need to. Lucas' hand made contact with the man's nose, but then slid down to his lip helplessly as if he had lost his balance. Now Sindri was all but with the program. By all accounts he should have been toppled over in pain right now -- but he wasn't. He was apparating?

The abrupt change of pace as he and Dash struggled through space made Sindri feel like he was going to be sick. Apparating was never his favorite thing in the world to begin with, but this was just miserable -- drunk, angry and confused were not a good combination for travel. The next thing he knew, Sindri was thrust onto an uneven tuft of what felt like wet grass. The twenty-two year old gave himself a moment to acclimate to his surroundings and make sure all his limbs were still intact. It was dark and he still had legs, that much was all he knew. Location didn't matter much, though, as Sindri remembered the intense emotions that coursed dangerously through his veins -- the mixture of that and about ten standard drinks was poisoning his thoughts.

Happy now? Sindri's jaw set as he clenched his teeth together angrily. The last thing he wanted right now was a lecture, especially from Arden. As much as he would like to deny it, every action that night, no matter how stupid, all came back to her. The man was hyper sensitive to her actions -- Dash hadn't done a thing wrong apart from have a platonic male friend, but Sindri couldn't handle that yet. If anything, it became clear to him that friendship for the two of them just wasn't an option. A years worth of pent up hurt and emotion was on the verge of boiling over, and there was no stopping him now.

Sindri opened his mouth to protest when Dash continued, her face now buried in her hands. Instead of feeling incredibly guilty like he no doubt would the next morning, Sindri felt angry. "You know you're right, Arden," He began, tasting the familiar flavor of coppery blood on his tongue. Either Lucas' punch or the fall had left a tiny gash on his bottom lip. Tenderly, he reached a hand to the newly discovered injury. When he pulled his fingers away, a thick dark liquid covered his index finger -- he scoffed disapprovingly.

"Right, I suppose you missed the bit where he shoved me, then?" Sindri straightened out his shirt, the accusation painfully clear in his tone. The man's rationale didn't make much sense, but in the moment, it was the only logic that he could see. "Why are you here then, Dash?" He threw his arms up in exasperation. Sindri couldn't make sense of anything at the moment, let alone the complex emotions that flowed between he and his ex-girlfriend. "He didn't do anything so why aren't you still with him? You didn't need to do this. I can take of myself," He stubbornly huffed. Sindri's pride was hurt. He wanted to defend himself. To prove himself. He wasn't sure to what, or to who, but it only infuriated him more that it looked like Dash was fighting his battles for him.

"No --" Sindri began, protectively grabbing the wand in the front pocket of his slacks. "No, you've done quite enough, I'll walk home," He nodded curtly, words slurred from intoxication. Just as Sindri turned on his heels to direct himself home, he realized they were in the middle of no where. "Where are --" Sindri didn't even have to finish his question before answering it himself. Dash had unknowingly apparated them to a meadow where they had picnics together years ago. Suddenly, dozens of memories flooded his vision, and Sindri was paralyzed, unable to even formulate a sentence. "Why are we here?" He asked in an uncharacteristically small voice. Surely, it was by accident, but Sindri was drunk and confused. He looked to a patch of trees in the distance to their right, and he absentmindedly wondered if their initials were still carved on the huge oak in front. Ouch.

 Why are you here then, Dash?

“I don’t know!” she exclaimed, “because I wanted to stop you from embarrassing yourself? Stop you from making us both look like idiots?” Dash exhaled sharply through her nose, trying to focus on calming down. It was usually such an effort for her to express herself verbally, but right now she wanted nothing more than to try to make him understand. “I --” the woman glared at him as he spoke, her tone becoming incredulous as she countered his statement, “I’m sure you can handle yourself. You think I stopped you because I don’t think you’re tough enough to take him? Gah!” His testosterone-fuelled arrogance was grating. Sindri had always been a “masculine” man, but it was rare that he acted so stereotypically macho.

The brunette moved towards him with long strides, her body tense but her eyes revealing how emotionally confused she was. How painful this night had turned out to be. Her movements were hindered a little by her clothing and she was reminded of how uncomfortable it made her feel. This was all a huge mistake. “This isn’t about you and him,” she said, her throat restricted with emotion as she pointed a finger sharply at his chest. Her eyebrows came together in a hurt frown, but her expression changed to exasperation at his ridiculous declaration that he’d walk home. He spun away from her and she was totally prepared to follow him. Words bubbled on her tongue, ready to be spoken out loud, but then he stopped suddenly, mid-question.

"I…" Dash stopped too, suddenly unable to speak. She felt the anger fade as it was replaced by a strong swell of nostalgia. It felt like homesickness. She followed the direction of his gaze and her angry frown was replaced by a sad one. Oh, Merlin. The girl’s eyes filled with tears and she couldn’t help but think that she just couldn’t do it. She wasn’t built to be able to stay mature and composed in a situation like this. “I didn’t mean to,” she said, wiping her eyes quickly. Suddenly, the twenty-one year old felt very young. "Why did you do it?" she pleaded softly, her shoulders slumping in defeat. "Why did you come over to us? You know he's just a friend, but even if he wasn't..." She sighed a gentle sigh. "Sin..."

Embarrassing himself. Sindri felt a clench in his heart, her words penetrating whatever wall he had worked so hard to build up. Her accusatory tone only fueled the flame that had been smoldering for quite some time deep within him. "Us? Idiots? Okay," The twenty-two year old took in a deep inhale, nodding a few times as he let the words soak in, his response more sarcastic than he intended. The idea of them being a package was just as painful as it was perplexing. Sindri didn't want his actions to have any sort of effect on her, but he knew he made that impossible the moment he invested himself in her current affairs. If she wanted to date Lucas, she should be able to -- but Sindri couldn't figure out how to remain passive about the situation.

Words to explain the conflicted feelings that plagued him were non-existent. Sindri wasn't entirely sure he could explain them to himself if he he had to -- the man was torn between being completely heartbroken and inexplicably angry. The amount of alcohol in his system and the testosterone from the fight still flowing through his veins didn't help his case, either. He was misplacing his anger about how things ended with the woman, but he couldn't bring himself to admit it. Sindri didn't like to feel this vulnerable, so his defense mechanism was irrational at best. Dash knew that was how he was wired, he hoped. When things got hard, he secluded himself to bury his feelings some place they couldn't bother him.

Sindri swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry as Dash became more emotional than accusatory. It was much easier to be mad at her when she wasn't looking at him with big doe eyes brimming with tears. Sindri clenched his teeth, searching her face for the answers to a question that he didn't even know how to ask. "I don't know..." He finally answered honestly. There was no rational reason for him to go up to Lucas, but in the moment he felt entirely compelled -- like if he didn't he would explode. "I don't want -- " Sindri paused, reaching a hand to his hair self-consciously. Talking about his feelings made him feel exposed, even to Arden. "I can't be around it. You, and him... and his coat," He haphazardly touched the sleeve of the other mans oversized coat. "I don't think I know... how to act around you," Sindri shook his head, trying to get to the point of his complex emotions.

"I can't be friends with you yet, Dash," Sindri pursed his lips in thought. As much as he would like to be civil with the woman, that wasn't possible for him. Sindri didn't trust himself around her when other men came into the picture. Their history went back too far and he was too proud to remove himself emotionally when someone else put their hands on her. "Go back to the party," He offered with a wry smile. "I'll go home," Sindri touched the wand in the front pocked on his pants, hoping she would agree and leave it at that.

Dash winced as Sindri’s hand brushed against the sleeve of the jacket she was wearing. A strong wave of regret filled her – why did she have to spend so much time with Lucas tonight? Why did she take his jacket when he offered it? The brunette was aware that these thoughts had no place in her head, and she tried to ignore the fact that it was obvious – at least to her – who she wanted to have spent tonight talking to.

“I know,” she said, nodding again as she wiped her eyes. “I know.” She understood exactly what he meant. Dash had struggled with the exact same feeling very time they’d been together since their break up. She didn’t know how polite to be. How familiar. Whether or not it was okay to kiss his cheek when they greeted each other or touch his arm when they were speaking. The more confusing flip side of this was that she didn’t know how she felt about the way that he acted around her. Whether it was okay for him to kiss her cheek, or if whether she felt uncomfortable or strangely thrilled when he suggested that she come and visit sometime.

Her voice was tense and full of emotion as she continued. “One second it’s awkward and stressful and the next second it’s lovely and easy and I--” She cut herself off, unable or unwilling to continue. She didn’t want to say the words that were on her mind, because they’d probably be horribly misconstrued. How could she turn her complex emotions into sentences that he’d understand? It wasn’t as simple as wanting to get back together with him again and it definitely wasn’t as simple as wanting him to stay away from her. Both of these felt true at different times. Dash shrugged her slender shoulders, glancing down in defeat.

She missed him. Thought about him far too much. The girl was almost positive that if she said anything of the sort to him that he’d be kind and let her down gently. Hadn’t he been the one to stop anything from happening last time they’d seen each other? In retrospect it had been a good decision, but for some reason the blurry memory still stung. If she said anything of the sort, he’d probably assume that she meant that she wanted to try again, which wasn’t exactly true. There was no way for her to know how he felt, or if it he felt any of the confusion that she did. This was probably the hardest part. I can’t be friends with you. Dash nodded, understanding exactly what he was saying.

She couldn’t help it, his words were making her cry again.

The brunette hastily wiped at her tears, but she didn’t know what to say. A part of her wanted to convey some of what she was feeling… But she could barely describe it to herself. “I want…” she paused. I want to see you more. I want to talk. I want to try. A thousand things raced through her mind. She wanted to feel his lips on hers again. She wanted him to hold her. The woman had too much self-control to be selfish enough to confess these things, so another confession came to her lips instead. “That night, I dreamed – for about the hundredth time – that you were happy without me.” She didn’t bother to specify what night she was talking about, or add any details. She knew that he would be aware of exactly what she was talking about, and she wondered if he’d lost sleep over not knowing what her vision had been about. Her eyes were wide and teary as she looked back up at him again. Her eyebrows pulled together in a tight frown.

“I want you to be happy,” she said gently, closing her eyes for a moment and trying to imagine some kind of peace. The young witch exhaled a soft breath before opening her eyes and focussing on the situation at hand again. She pulled herself together. The woman held her hand out again. “Give me your wand, Sin,” she said. “I’ll take you back to London.”

It almost upset him more that Arden was agreeing with him, each time she voiced it cutting him deep. Sindri knew he had been in the wrong. He was drunk. He had made monumental mistake after another with no regard for how his actions might affect the brunette girl that was once his. The man neglected to have realized that even though they were no longer a single entity, their actions on either end of the spectrum were not without repercussions. He couldn't go on ignoring it anymore. 'I want...' Arden's words echoed in through his otherwise thoughtless brain. They bounced painfully around his skull as the anticipation of what she was going to say to him grew palpable. He wished she would just say it already, 'I want you to leave me alone.' Sindri had to hear it.

In an instant everything stopped. The breeze. His breathing. His heard. For over half a year he agonized over what Dash's vision that tore them apart had been. At the time he knew it wasn't fair to press the matter because she seemed so sure of it, and as time went on and they didn't speak Sindri thought it even more inappropriate to ask. "What..." The man breathed, every ounce of anger he once had melting into the ground. Dash's visions were always a normal part of their relationship, until they became the reason for it's demise. Sindri didn't know what to think. Most of him had assumed that her vision had to do with her happy with a family and a father who was not Sindri -- not for a moment did he think it would be the other way around.

Sindri had no coherent words. He wanted to be happy -- he was happy, but it was more of a conscious effort than it ever was in his youth. "I wish you'd told me that then," Was all he could muster. Sindri couldn't help but think that things could have been different if she had, but there was no dwelling on that now. All Sindri wanted was to be home where he could build things until his mind went completely numb -- the place where he could silence his conflicting thoughts for good. There had been far too much to process for one evening alone. "Please," He responded deftly, mechanically grabbing the wand in the front pocket of his pants and handing it her. 

The duo squeezed through space and time uncomfortably, even more so for Sindri who was already feeling sick to his stomach before they apparated. In a boisterous crash, he and Dash landed in the downstairs of his loft, surrounded by half-finished works and supplies where his workshop was located. Sindri stumbled, reaching a hand to his hair uncomfortably as he caught his balance. Now what? "I -- thanks," He said quietly, absentmindedly playing with the head of the hammer next to him. "You're welcome to stay here," Sindri added, suddenly realizing she was without wand. As much as he didn't want to deal with the awkwardness, he was too polite to just send her on her way  regardless of how the night had gone.

 I wish you’d told me then

She swallowed, nodding in response. “I know,” she said softly. She wanted to apologise, but Dash wasn’t sure that the words would be able to cover what she felt, so she said nothing instead. Besides, she wouldn’t have let it change anything. Part of the reason that she hadn’t told him was because she didn’t want him to feel like that component of their breakup was something that he was responsible for. Maybe a part of it was aligned with Dash’s self-sacrificing nature, but her visions hadn’t been the only reason that they hadn’t been able to be together. He might have dismissed it as a genuine reason, but she couldn’t have had that at all. The look on his face made her want to crumple up into a little papery ball.

She wiped fresh tears away quickly, breathing deeply. Silently, she took his wand. She glanced down at the thing in her hand for a moment, wondering how many spells she’d already performed with it. Before they left, Dash silently summoned the snapped halves of her own wand and tucked them into her bag delicately. She placed her free hand on Sindri’s arm and took one last surreptitious glance around at their environment before disappearing with a loud pop!

They reappeared in his house. “Oh, I’m sorry --” she called, steadying him as they stumbled together. She caught his gaze and stopped touching him as soon as he didn’t look like he was going to fall over anymore. “I meant to take us up there…” Her gaze flicked quickly up the stairs to his apartment, her mind throwing flashes of her last journey up those stairs to the forefront of her mind. She looked back at him, apology in her hazel eyes. The woman gave a small shrug and a sentimental smile when he thanked her for bringing him home. Her eyes went wide at his next words, grateful declines jumping to her lips immediately.

“Oh, no… I couldn’t.” She shook her head quickly, the memory of the last time she’d woken up in his bed very vivid in her mind. “I’ll catch the knight bus to Aline’s house… if you’d just wait outside with me?” Of course he would. She wasn’t even sure why her tone had come across as so hesitant. Maybe she’d grown used to the fact that she wasn’t entitled to anything from him. At all. Courtesy was something that Dash had beaten into herself from a young age. She couldn’t help but replay the travesty that had been the morning she’d left here, after throwing up in his bathroom and refusing any kind of breakfast, in her mind. She’d practically bolted. There was no reason to force her presence on him like that again.

Suddenly, the sound of paws padding against the wooden floors caught her attention and in moments Sindri’s dog was racing down the stairs. Bear went to Sindri first with a quick greeting before turning to Dash and almost bowling her over. Clutching the edge of the table behind her as she tripped backwards, the Hufflepuff alumni couldn’t help but smile despite herself. She shielded herself from the husky’s long tongue, pushing him off of her only to quickly start rubbing his ears and neck. “Hey, you!” The dog kept trying to jump up and lick her face, and it made her laugh. Her eyes flicked up to meet Sindri’s with familiarity, like she was sharing a joke with him before she straightened up, murmuring calming words to their pup. When he was a little less manic, she took a few steps over towards Sindri’s front door. Her fond smile had faded a little, but the look was still in her hazel eyes.

Dash opened the door a crack, conscious of not letting Bear outside. She stepped out, taking a few steps and waiting for Sindri to follow her. The silence between them seemed to stretch as she suddenly realised that their interaction was coming to an end. What could she say now? Should she thank him? Apologise? All of these thoughts churned together in her mind. Bear's appearance was a flash distraction from the turmoil she'd been feeling moments ago, but suddenly the emotions had returned in full force. Dash glanced down at her feet, adjusting the bottom of her short dress with slim fingers. The girl had the inexplicable feeling that she was running out of time. "I don't want to not see you ever again," she said suddenly, turning back to him with a concerned frown. "Unless that's what you want." She hoped he wouldn't think she was sending crazy mixed messages here. Her gaze was soft as she looked over him slowly, noting the bits of grass at his knees. On second thought, she hoped that he was sober enough to understand.

Sindri had hardly even notice that Dash had apparated them into the workshop as opposed to the lived in floor of his London loft. He didn't mind much though. The man wasn't sure it was safe to see the small brunette in the same location where they had last let things get too carried away. Sindri shook his head, trying to force the drunken thoughts from his mind so he could focus on the present situation. "It's okay," He said in the most assuring tone he could muster up given the circumstances. "Trying to get a sneaky look at my work? Sindri carried his gaze off of his feet to meet hers with a dimpled grin. He wasn't sure where the humor had come from, but he could sense Dash was uncomfortable and wanted to take away some of the pressure.

"Of course," He answered with a slur, bowing his head once again. Waiting for the bus was the least he could do for making up for such a disaster of a night. As much as Sindri hated to admit it, it was his fault, after all. Just as he was about to turn on his heels to head out the door, the familiar thunder of heavy paws on wooden floors stopped him in his tracks. Bear. Sindri wasn't all that surprised -- he couldn't expect the beast of a dog to just ignore a visitor, especially this particular visitor.

Sindri watched with a peculiar mixture of familiarity and an inexplicable sadness in his eyes as the dog accosted the woman across from him. "Bear!" He groaned, giving the dog a sturdy pat on the neck before ruffling behind his ears affectionately. "Nearly the size of you now," Sindri noted, comparing the animal to Dash with wide eyes. It hadn't occurred to him that Bear had grown up so much until he saw them side by side. "Remember when you could actually carry him around," Sindri took his eyes off the husky for a moment to look back up at Arden, picturing the tiny pup on the day he brought him home to the cottage. Although the tension was still palpable in the room, Sindri felt good to have a relatively normal conversation with Dash. If he weren't incredibly intoxicated, he probably would have felt more guilty about his attempt at avoidance.

Following the woman out the door, Sindri was careful to shut it fast behind him before Bear could pull a fast one and come with them on their adventure. Met with the cold London air, the man felt the weight of the words that they weren't saying to each other heavy on his chest. The combination made it hard to breathe. The loft was in the middle of the city, so their walk to a main road only took a moment, but it felt like a lifetime. Sindri, struggling to pull his wand from the pocket of his pants, stopped when Dash finally broke their silence. 'I don't want to not see you ever again.' He ran his free hand through his hair, catching her gaze as his eyebrows gathered in confusion. Sure, he was drunk, but it didn't take the meaning from her words, it just complicated the things he was feeling.

"I..." Sindri, for what felt like millionth time that night, was at a loss for words. Not taking his eyes from her own, the man mechanically flicked his wand in the air to hail the bus for Dash. He hardly had time to process what he had done before the Knight Bus was screeching to a halt right in front of them and nearly crashing into a parked car. The doors flew open and the driver shouted at them, asking how many tickets they needed. "Two," Sindri automatically replied, his eyes still never leaving the woman next to him. "Oh, I, uh no -- I mean just one," He shook his head, finally breaking their contact to hand the driver the appropriate amount of sickles from his wallet.

The mumbled complaints from the driver about 'making up his mind,' went over Sindri's head as everything started to spin. There were a thousand things he should have been saying but he couldn't shake the sense of urgency. Of course he wanted to see her again. He was constantly looking for excused to see her. But that wasn't fair anymore. For either of them. Almost as soon as Dash stepped on the bus, the doors were slamming shut and Sindri was panicking. He lunged forward, the weight of his unsaid words now crushing. "I'm sorry!" Was all he could say. "Dash! I'm sorry!" He was shouting now, but it was too late. The bus zoomed off. "I'm sorry..." Sindri repeated quietly to himself.

Sindri didn’t speak.

He didn’t speak and it was absolutely crushing.

The man summoned the bus and it appeared there within a moment. She barely had time to blink. Dash’s hair fluttered around her prettily in the breeze that the bus had suddenly displaced. The silence between them was palpable. Her eyebrows came together in a tight frown and for the first time tonight, she was completely unable to read him. Yes, he was drunk. Yes, they hadn’t been a couple for many months. It didn’t matter though, she felt like she had no idea what he was thinking and it hurt. Even a vehement ‘no’ would be better than this silence. “Sindri…” He cut her soft voice off, his words directed at someone in the bus. She looked at the bus driver, confusion evident in her hazel eyes.

Dash had planned on paying for her own trip, but instead she let him pay without protest. She didn’t have any fight left in her to argue this small point, and Sindri, ever the gentleman, was doing what he thought was right. “Thank you,” she offered meekly, trying to keep the hurt out of her tone as her gaze dropped to the ground. In his silence was unmistakable rejection, but he didn’t seem to have the courage to voice it. He wasn’t brave enough to tell her the truth. Swallowing against the lump in her throat, Dash stepped up on to the Bus’ step with the help of its attendant. She felt bizarrely numb.

The woman looked back at him over her shoulder, raising her hand in a tentative half-wave to her old lover before turning away from the window quickly as her eyes filled with tears. The numbness faded into messy emotions as the brunette squeezed her eyes shut tight. She allowed herself an undisciplined moment, trying not to think about the fact that she’d barely have a second to breathe before she would arrive at Aline’s house, uninvited and in tears. Ouch. It didn’t matter how well she was doing or how much she told herself that she was trying to move on, Sindri Trickett would always have a strong foothold in her emotions. Any perceived rejection of his would always be completely crushing, no matter what.