thinking out loud. [tag; brian]

Bugger.

How was she late? She was always late for things. In fact, her family thought it was downright hilarious to take bets on how late she'd arrive at family gatherings. Lucky for her, she never did tend to disappoint. Lately, her head was a bit of a mess. The break up, though perhaps not that unexpected considering Murphy was waaaay too good for her, was perhaps a bit of a shock. Maybe she'd been too blind to see that she could only push him so far before he'd gotten sick of dealing with her. She could see his point and she respected his decision but it didn't make it hurt any less.

To be honest, it just felt like a kind of slow pain in her chest. Cold. Odd. Tangible but not really. Like nothingness. Like she was just sort of…floating almost.  Listless. She didn't really know what to do on her own. In fact, Lulu had caught her absently grating an entire block of cheese at three in the morning.

Still. Onwards and upwards and all that horrible, hackneyed clichéd nonsense.

She'd been caught up in work. Mistakes were showing on the paperwork she'd just completed. She'd missed a signature or two, she hadn't dated a form, she'd misspelled the word "artefact". Twice. The goblins weren't happy. Erika had apologised but they seemed to be content to think that she was doing this deliberately and as such, had refused to help her out. In fact, they'd just shut the door and left her to it but not before happily snatching the sack of golden things she'd brought back.

It had taken her a while to focus because her mind kept drifting away. What was she going to do now? She had no one to kiss, no one to cuddle. Shit balls. She had no one to bring to the next Trickett get together. Her resolve seemed to wither and die inside of her as she signed more bits of parchment. By the time she looked up, it was six o'clock.

High tailing it home and flinging herself into the shower, she dragged a brush through her bouncy blonde hair, applied make up and perfume and fell over that morning's post that she still hadn't bothered to pick up. Fail. "Arg. Urgh. Ow. Bastard. I mean, ah no, I did mean that," she winced as she hopped on the spot angrily after accidentally smacking into the coffee table. Aware she perhaps needed to be more refined in order to try and get people to take her seriously, she'd made a swear jar. Well, two swear jars. The first one had filled up with sickles in three days.

Being a lady wouldn't bring Murphy back. Erika knew that. She'd burned that bridge with her reckless, careless, childish ways. He was too smart to take her back and nor should he have to. Maybe they weren't as well suited as she'd thought. Or hoped. Or really even prayed. Curling her hair around her wand and pinning it back, she dressed, grabbed her bag, forgot her keys and closed the door.

Arriving twenty minutes late (which was bang on time to her usual timings), Erika picked up the hem of her long tulle skirt and ran. Erika was rather capable of running in heels. She could run in anything. Growing up with two big, burly and imposing brothers who chased her around the garden until well into her teens, she had no problem at all. Until her heel caught in the groove of one of the worn cobblestones and she let out a string of colourful language that would make her mother's ears burn.

Yanking herself free, she barrelled into the bar, the door smacking off its hinges and the noise reverberating around the place. The chatter died down as people stopped to stare at her, causing her to smile brightly and wave. Erika swiftly patted her hair and entered, the low light casting her healthy tan into shimmering loveliness. Chewing on her lip, it was possible he'd gone home but Brian was a patient chap. They met up infrequently. They were friends but usually worked at opposite corners of the globe so really, she was a bit of an arse for wasting so much time.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry!" She called, waving as she elegantly skirted people as she reached him at the bar, cheeks pink and out of breath as she placed a kiss on his cheek. "Goblin trouble," she said with an eye roll, as though it was some sort of curse breaker's insider knowledge. "Oh!" She gushed, pulling a very small, very cute stuffed camel out of her bag and held it out to him. It was a souvenir from her latest trip. "Cute right? Eh?" She said with a megawatt grin. "He's called Cuthbert. I named him for you."

Brian was feeling restless. He’d been home in Britain for four months now, long enough to establish himself in the Hogsmeade community and adjust to living on his own. It was the longest stretch he’d been at home in several years and he was beginning to wonder what was taking so long for him to get his next assignment. Surely there were no shortages of curses to break, and it was widely known that the Gringott’s goblins had their long, sticky fingers in practically every country in the world. It wasn’t that he necessarily minded being in Britain. He did, however, feel somewhat stifled during his stints in the London office, finding the paperwork to be mind-numbingly tedious. Adventure was in his blood. He craved it, and he would need his fix very, very soon.

In the meantime, Brian was intent on enjoying his time in Britain, reconnecting with his family and friends. He’d been to countless Quidditch games and a handful of football games, sampled the alcoholic and gastronomic delights of at least a dozen pubs, and generally had a roaring good time over the last four months. One thing, though, was niggling at the back of his mind, like an annoying insect that kept coming back no matter how many times he swatted it away. Several weeks before he signed the lease on his Hogsmeade flat, the McShane family gathered for their semi-monthly family dinner. It was at that dinner that his brother Rory and wife Caitriona announced that they were expecting their first child. Brian was taken aback by the announcement, not because it was unexpected or even unwelcome news. No, it wasn’t that. He was thrilled that he was going to be an uncle again and was secretly wishing for a nephew this time.

He couldn’t really verbalize, even privately to himself, what was so disconcerting about his brother’s news. His mother’s pointed looks at that family dinner had not gone unnoticed by any of them, and The Announcement, as he’d come to refer to it in his mind, was what ultimately spurred him to finally move out on his own. He wasn’t ready for a wife or a family or any responsibility beyond himself and his job. At least, that was what he told himself.

In order to get his mind off things, he’d invited his coworker Erika for drinks at The Three Broomsticks. Even though they technically worked together, he rarely saw her. Their only opportunities for socialization existed when they were both home at the London office at the same time, which did not happen often. So as soon as he heard she was back home, he’d immediately taken it upon himself to set up this meeting.

Brian pushed open the door of The Three Broomsticks, claiming two seats for them at the bar before ordering himself a pint. He was freshly shaven and dressed in a dark blue shirt and grey slacks, having rolled up the sleeves in order to keep things casual. It was a departure from his normal style of dressing, but he wanted to do her the credit of appearing presentable while they were in public together. He had even managed to tame his usually messy, dark curls. From what he knew and had experienced of Erika, he expected her to be late, so he did not trouble himself to arrive particularly early. He settled himself in, making small talk with the older witch seated to his left as a way to pass the time. He was already on his second pint when the sound of the door crashing open momentarily stilled the activity in the pub. Head twisting around to see who had caused the commotion, his lips split into a wide grin as Erika made her entrance.

"Goblin trouble,”

“Sorry to hear it,” he responded sympathetically, lightly squeezing her arm in response to her kiss. Brian wasn’t the type to get angry or even too annoyed when people were late, so long as he knew the person and there was a reasonable explanation. And when the offender was as pretty as his friend, his forgiveness was instantaneous. As she presented him with the stuffed camel, he smiled again as he shook his head. “You shouldn’t have,” he chided her teasingly. “Nice to meet you, Cuthbert,” he said, laughing as he set the stuffed camel down next to him on the bar.

Signaling to the bartender so that Erika could order a drink, he gave her an appraising look. “You’re looking gorgeous as ever. How long have you been back?” Brian asked before taking a sip of his beer. If he had to guess, he would say not long, given the golden glow to her skin that was not natural to citizens of their homeland. It was obvious that foreign assignments agreed with her.

Erika grinned. Only then did she realise the elderly witch sat next to Brian who seemed to have her nose put out of joint by her arrival. The tall blonde absently wondered if the woman had been flirting with her co-worker and the thought, though easily true, made her giggle. If the other witch thought they were dating then fine, she'd do nought to quell the woman's theories.

Laughing, she swatted away Brian's apologies. Erika owed him a drink. Maybe even two due to her lateness. She might even spring for a bucket of chips or a plate of nachos. At that moment, her stomach gave a grumble of agreement. Cool. They were getting nachos as soon as possible, apparently. She dropped into the bar stool, her bright blue eyes sparkling cheerily as she grinned again.

"Pfft," she said, pooh-poohing his concerns. "I was toying with maybe bringing you back a rug but I couldn't really carry it," she joked, blowing at a long blonde curl. Spices, too. But they weren't really appropriate. Maybe a fluffy camel wasn't either but hey-ho. Erika snorted at his antics, throwing her head back and letting out a loud and infectious laugh, causing the other patrons to turn and laugh along with her. "Tough. I already did," she said casually with a shrug, gently stroking Cuthbert's as though he was real and alive.

"Hi," Erika said with a bright smile towards the barman, taking a minute or two to decide. "Could I have an appletini, please?" She asked sweetly. "Ooh! And some nachos as well, if I can." Her hand was in her purse before Brian tried to protest. She knew he would. He seemed to be brought up well and respectful of women but Erika was a modern one. She didn't want nor expect anyone to hold open doors or pull out chairs for her. Well, they were nice though unnecessary indeed. Handing over the money, she placed the change into the tip jar at the end of the bar as she was so prone to doing.

"Aw thanks, babe," Erika said cheerfully with another smile as she sipped her green and fruity drink, spinning on her bar stool with her long legs crossed at the knee so she could face him again quickly. "That's very kind of you to say. You're not looking so bad yourself," she replied smoothly with another smile. Maybe she was flirting, who knew. She liked that he'd rolled his sleeves up. She didn't know why but men instantly got sexier when they revealed their forearms. Without skipping a beat, she reached out to take the hat she assumed was his.

Erika dropped it onto her head, adjusting it to sit at a jaunty angle as she grinned at him again. Though not really a hat person, they did seem to sit well and suit her face shape.

"About six hours," Erika said as she sipped her drink again, smiling at the waitress who had deposited the lovely plate of deliciousness. Salsa and guacamole oozed over the crisp nachos and a load of melted cheese and sour cream completed the masterpiece. It was over a thousand calories but really, who gave a shit? Leaving the proffered cutlery, she dove right in. Shoving one in her mouth, she gave a mumble of agreement before shoving another into her mouth, pausing only to wipe her fingers on the napkin that had been left before pushing the plate towards Brian.

"Skipped dinner," she said with an apologetic smile but that didn't stop her from eating. Hell, nothing stopped her from eating. "Love me some Mexican food," she gushed, wondering if she could have ordered a tequila or Cuba Libre instead though she knew that was Cuban and kind of rude to lump the same countries together. "How about you?" She asked interestedly after she'd licked a spot of sour cream off her thumb, watching him with large eyes. "How're you settling in?" Erika vaguely remembered someone mentioning something about him moving house and she hadn't seen him yet to ask how things were going. "Missed you," she said with a dimpled grin.

As Erika began to order her drink and some food, Brian shifted in order to reach for his wallet. She was too fast for him, though, whipping out her purse with lightning speed and paying before he even had the chance to put his hand in his pocket. He opened his mouth to protest, then quickly shut it upon reconsideration. Erika was a grown woman and if she wanted him to pay, he was quite sure that she would let him know. Instead, he sat back, taking a sip of his drink while they waited for the food to appear.

Her response to his compliment elicited a smile from him. He watched as she took his hat and placed it on her head. It suited her, making her look oddly alluring and slightly mysterious as she tipped the brim low over her forehead. “You haven’t been home long, then,” he commented, surprised that she had seemingly arrived back home only to come out to meet him almost immediately. Had he known, he might have asked her to meet another day.

"Love me some Mexican food,”

At this, Brian paused, his glass halfway to his lips. Setting his pint back down, he looked at her with renewed interest. Erika could have no idea about his parents. They were not close enough friends for him to have given her an in-depth explanation of his background. The most she would know was that he had three siblings, if that. Brian couldn’t actually remember how much he’d told her about his family, but he was certain that he had never mentioned that his mother was Mexican. If his mother had been a fly on the bar at that moment, eavesdropping on their conversation, he was sure he would never hear the end of it from her.


“Better not tell my mum,” he said casually, waving away her apology and reaching for a nacho as Erika pushed the plate toward him. “She’s Mexican. She would kidnap you and feed you until your stomach was begging for it to stop,” he explained with a grin, biting down on the nacho he was holding. It was good, delicious even, but it wasn’t real Mexican food. Carmen McShane would have some choice words about what was passed off as Mexican food at The Three Broomsticks, of that he was sure.

“Español es mi lengua segunda.” He paused briefly before offering a translation. “Spanish is my second language, thanks to my mum. Or maybe it’s my third language, since my dad’s family speaks Irish,” he continued in between bites. He wasn’t really sure what language could be considered his mother tongue when he thought about it. If he had to pick one, he would say Irish, which was the language that his extended family spoke when they were together, then Spanish from his mother, then English from his parents and his Muggle primary school. Really, he learned all three languages in a mishmash of trilingual conversations at roughly the same time during his childhood.

“I’ve missed you, too,” he said sincerely, his eyes meeting hers as he touched her arm, allowing himself a moment of familiarity, sure that she would not be bothered by it. He did not even realize how much he missed her until he found himself in that moment, sitting next to her and sharing a plate of nachos. It was almost romantic, and to an outside observer, perhaps it was. “I’m settling in just fine. I moved into a flat not far from here a few months ago,” he told her as he finished his beer. He did not immediately signal for another drink, content to take a short break from drinking. “Going a bit stir-crazy, though. I’m ready for my next assignment.” He’d gotten used to the traveling life and found that cooling his heels at home was not really his thing after all.

As the drink was delivered, Erika gave a little wiggle of excitement as the martini glass was set in front of her. It wasn't fair for Brian to pay. She didn't think she'd go as far as to think she was a true feminist but men paying for stuff for women was a bit outdated. Plus, chivalry was dead and she'd find that out first hand thanks to come questionable previous ex-boyfriends in her teen years. Erika was tickled pink by the addition of a fine sliver of apple perched on the rim of her glass. Whee!

"Nope," she said brightly as she sipped the bright green beverage and shrugged. "We had a date. Not even angry goblins could keep me away," she said with a grin. She'd used the word "date" casually. Despite being only twenty three, she couldn't help but feel like she was perhaps a bit old to be dating. Friends she went to school with were getting married. There was an invitation pinned to the fridge. Her room mate and best friend, Lulu, stopped her from throwing it into the bin in a fit of rage.

Happy to keep eating, Erika focused on her food as she chewed, again doing the happy wiggle she often did when provided with food. Now, Erika wasn't a food snob but these met the minimum requirements for nachos. Where were the jalapenos? The best she'd ever had was in Merida. She'd eaten the equivalent of an entire cow's worth of beef, drank tequila and made out with a really pretty guy called Gabriel. "I wonder what he's doing now," she mused aloud, forgetting that Brian wasn't a mind reader.

"Shut the front door!" Erika exclaimed with wide eyes, slapping the bar with her hand for emphasis and nearly knocking over her drink. Her jaw dropped open and she dropped her cheesy nacho back on the plate, her eyes as wide as dinner plates. His mum was Mexican? "Does she make gorditas?" She blurted out. "You have to let me meet her," the tall blonde implored her friend, grabbing his arm and squeezing before she laughed  and waved her other hand through the air nonchalantly. "Oh pfft," she said with a snort. "I will be her taste tester for literally anything. Ever. Yeah," she told him fairly seriously indeed. "But no really," she told Brian, looking right at him. "I'm not even kidding."

The curse breaker listened, squinting at him as he spoke. Spanish…might as well have been Greek to her. She understood a few words generally. Second, did he say? She recognised that because when she was in Mexico a few years back, the barman wouldn't her let and her friend have more than their segunda cerveza which was properly rude.

"Oh!" She replied, finally catching up. She was happy to listen, absently trying to eat and not spill a gloop of sour cream on her full black skirt. "That's amazing," she told him, genuinely impressed as she smiled at him. So he was Irish and Mexican. What an odd but wonderful combination! He had dark hair which she presumed came from his mother's side. His skin looked likely to tan in the sun but his eyes were bright and clear. Erika's knowledge of languages…wasn't impressive. English, gobbledegook for work, very limited understanding of various European languages and a bit of Kernowek. Her brothers and her learned parts of it, purely so they could understand what their grandfather said when he tripped over his slippers or a stray Trickett child. Turns out it was a rather bad swear word.

"How did your parents meet?" Erika asked, placing an elbow on the bar and resting her chin in an upturned palm. She was interested. It seemed like those two cultures would never meet under usual circumstances.

At the touch, she offered Brian a wide and beatific smile. She was an independent girl but being told she'd been missed, even if he was just saying it, made her feel better. She tended to drift in and out of people's lives, almost a nomad of sorts. She never tended to put down roots until she moved in with Lulu and knowing that she had friends was sort of…wonderful. "You should have told me!" She admonished her friend with a tut and a shake of her head. "I would have given you a housewarming gift. I don't know. A spider plant or something," she concluded, making a mental note to buy him something. "Do you need help decorating?" She offered. Perhaps not the most stylish, she handled a paintbrush like a pro.

Erika gave a knowing smile and a nod. "I feel you," she said, knowing that feeling of suffocation. There was only so much paper and office work people like then could do before they went a little bit mental. "You should go on a holiday," Erika announced proudly like she'd just discovered the meaning of life. "Maybe a city break or something, just to immerse yourself in a new culture. Throw a pin at a map. Come on."

With that, she downed her drink and stood up. "We're gonna be back for these," she told the barman with a smile, indicating the half demolished plate of nachos. Turning on her heel, she lead him through the pub towards the back where there was an empty pool table and a large canvas which detailed a map handing on the wall. Erika reached up to pull a hairpin out of her hair and deftly peeled back the plastic so the pointy metal part was sticking out and she handed it to Brian. "Come on. Choose your destiny, Mr. McShane."

Brian laughed at Erika’s reaction to his mention of his mother being Mexican. He was tickled by Erika’s excitement. “Her gorditas are the best. I’m sure she would love to meet an enthusiastic taste tester like yourself,” he said before telling her he was trilingual. Her reactions were perfect, and her face was so expressive. He could not have asked for a better audience. Brian had always loved performing for others, and here she was affording him the perfect opportunity that was too good to pass up.

“Well,” he began, preparing to tell the story of his parents’ meeting. “My mum left Mexico at eighteen and came to England looking for work. The British Ministry was hiring Spanish translators, so she applied and got the job. My mum and dad met at the cafeteria during lunch one day. And that, as they say, was that,” he said, finishing with a flourish and a half shrug. Brian wasn’t sure why his mother had chosen the United Kingdom over the much-closer United States when she decided to leave home, but he was obviously glad of her choice. Otherwise, he would not exist, at least not as the same person, which was funny when he thought of it.

As Erika told him she would get him a gift, he shook his head. “It’s not necessary. But you can help me decorate if you like,” he told her with a chuckle. As of right now, his flat was very bare, given that he only had the essential furnishings. The sparse decorations were due to both the newness of his accommodations as well as his expectation to not spend much time there over the course of a normal year. When one traveled six months or more out of the year, what was the point of filling up a flat with trinkets that would go unseen and untouched for so long? Besides, Brian had never been one to hoard possessions, preferring to spend his money on experiences rather than things. An experience would provide a lasting memory, whereas a thing just took up space and ended up being one more thing to clean.

Her mutual commiseration in being stuck at home working in the London office of Gringott’s was comforting. Many of the Curse-breakers he knew felt the same way. The whole reason they got into the job was for the travel and excitement. To him, here was nothing less thrilling than going into an office day in and day out, working alongside Goblins who had a superiority complex and an absurdly inflated sense of their own worth.

“I do need a holiday,” Brian agreed, signaling the bartender for another pint. It was a good idea, one that he had thought of often over the last few weeks. Most of his friends were busy and he could not get them to commit to a trip. He wasn’t opposed to traveling alone, but it wasn't something he had ever tried before, either. He had thought his sister might be interested if he offered to pay for the lodgings. Maybe he should actually ask her instead of just thinking about it.

The bartender set a fresh pint in front of him, and he had taken exactly one sip before being pulled to his feet by an overexcited Erika. “What?” he asked as she pulled him from his barstool. He followed her through the pub, threading their way through the tables scattered about the main area until they arrived at the back of the pub. He took the hairpin from her, turning his gaze away from her and up to the map on the wall in front of them. If he could go anywhere in the world, where would he go? There were so many places he had already been, and even more that he had never seen. He shot her a sidelong glance before stepping toward the map and pushing it firmly into the text that read “Prague.” It was a city on the top of his to-see list. Stepping back, he turned to her and said, “I’ve never been. What about you? If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?”

Erika grinned. She knew Brian was just being nice and didn't actually want her to meet his mother. Erika was pretty good with parents. She was smart and funny and presented herself rather well. She knew to compliment the mother on how well she'd brought up her son and to flirt, just a little, with the father. "Cool," she said brightly. "Make sure you bring some into work for your lunch so I can snaffle some."

As her friend began, she got herself comfortable. Still munching on her nachos, her big blue eyes were focused directly on him as she smiled. "That's cute," she told him honestly. "I bet he fell head over heels instantly," she replied with another smile. Erika didn't think she was particularly romantic but she did like hearing stories about how people's parents met. Maybe she was digging for clues on how to build a stable relationship, who knew. She chewed and nodded, licking a spot of sour cream off her thumb absently.

The treasure hunter was self-sufficient enough. She had her own home, paid her own bills, did her own shopping but she did sort of miss coming home and having cuddles. Her dating past was chequered. She went for leather clad, chain smoking, highly unsuccessful musicians. Murphy had been a high and Blade (real name Archibald Quigley) was a catastrophic low. She'd gone through a phase of dyeing her hair purple and wearing leather trousers and she heaved a shudder at the memory.

"I'm super handy with a paintbrush," she told Brian with a nod as she drank her appletini. She could see why he was hesitant. It did seem pointless to paint and decorate when he wouldn't be there long. "But there's nothing nicer than coming home and collapsing on a sofa in a place that's all your own, do you know what I mean?" Erika asked casually. Her bedroom looked like Morocco had thrown up on it. She had a brightly coloured duvet, a tulle curtain, dangling chandelier made of bits of reclaimed glass, highly ornate candle holders, a plush rug and an assortment of bits and bobs. It was usually messy but it was her sanctuary.

"Come onnnnn!" Erika urged Brian, bouncing and yanking on his hand, forcing him to momentarily abandon his freshly poured pint. Seeing that he was willing to play along, she grinned. There were a group of men playing pool and she was sure she'd heard a wolf whistle but she decided that she must have misheard.

"Good choice," she said as she stepped forward, a cloud of fresh lemon caught on the breeze as someone opened the door of the pub, the scent coming from her shampoo as she stepped forward. She tilted her head. "Nope, never been," she said with a thoughtful frown. "I've not seen that much of Europe," she admitted to her friend with a forlorn sigh. Erika tended to go further afield, happy to immerse herself in a nomadic lifestyle. "I hear it’s very pretty. And romantic. My grandparents got engaged on Charles Bridge," she murmured without thinking.

Erika liked the small houses, winding streets and eccentricity of Europe. In that moment, she decided she'd book a girly weekend away for her and Lulu.

She flashed Brian a smile as she stepped forward. Confidently, she pressed the tip of her finger against Bali. "There," she told him wistfully. If he knew her at all, he'd know that she wasn't really a city girl. She liked hiking and swimming and throwing herself head first into pretty much everything. It just seemed to have some sort of ethereal quality about the island. Predominately Hindu, everything seemed very floaty and laidback.

She sighed wistfully, wondering if she'd ever have the chance to visit. "I like exploring," she told Brian with a smile. It was part of their job description, she supposed. She stroked the tapestry absently. "I think I'd need a couple of new bikinis, though."