shattered moments, blanketed memories [tag; memphis]

Her eyes rose up to look at the building in front of them and for a moment her beautiful features crumbled as she frowned. It was as if a door in her mind had been opened, a door stuffed to the frame with things so desperate for escape. Indah. A name she had never known before rested on the tip of her tongue. Spells and incantation that had never been there, seemed like they were etched into her mind. “Mem…” Her words faded as each lost moment revealed itself for what seemed like the first time. Her grandmother’s house, the backyard, the studying and practicing which would later lead to displays of her knowledge.

So many moments she felt weren’t hers. The emotions clouded her better judgement and left her more confused then the young Irishwoman had ever been. Her chest grew tight and the air around them became so thick it was hard to breath. She reached out, searching in a desperate fashion, for something to keep her grounded. Long legs stumbled a bit as it became devastatingly clear what was happening. Things she had lost were now being found. Memories casted aside as if it was the proper thing to do. So many years flooded into her mind and she could feel the anger rising, so hot and untamed. The sadness resting there in hopeful way that made the pain more bearable.

“I…I..can’t…”

Her chest rose and fell with each desperate breath, as delicate hands rested on her shoulders as if hugging herself. The harsh assault of memories continued to pour in, leaving no room for her to calm herself. For the solace provided by Memphis’s presence to make itself known. Limpid grey eyes closed tightly, as she felt her knees touch something solid, closer to the ground. Closer to something more stable and permanent. The edges of her mind blurred as did her vision it would seem. The invisible walls were closing in on her and there was not enough air to properly fill her lungs. She was having a panic attack, the first she would ever experience.

The chill to the air dropped drastically as she struggled for the bit of control she hoped to have in times like these. The moments she thought she knew were only a falsehood put in place by her grandmother. Summers had been taken from her, moments stolen in an attempt to protect the young elemental. Had they not considered the danger she would place herself in when the memories all rushed to the surface? Grey eyes searched around her but there was nothing to see, everything hidden by a blanket of white. The temperature gave a bit of comfort to the girl’s mind, the cold wrapping her up like a safety blanket.

She could feel the ever-changing tides of her emotions in the shifts in the wind, the harsh cold of the heavy falling snow. She knew it was her causing the chaos around her but she was so lost as to how to stop it. How not to let the pain and the sadness take over her completely. It took her back to a moment when the snow first fell, she could remember the sadness she had felt then and the comfort the snow brought. There was no comfort now only the broken fractures of her mind. She was less of herself then she had ever been. Who was she now? If all the moments that came crashing back were true, who was she now?

@Memphis Gredel

When he asked her to come here he imagined this beautiful moment they would share. It would be peaceful and the sun would be shining and they would both be somewhere they belonged with the person they belonged with. It was like a story book chapter and he had been looking forward to it. Instead he saw her crumble to her knees, a worn look on her face like he'd never seen before and worry enveloped him. Rushing to her side in a failed attempt to catch her before she fell to the ground he wrapped strong arms around her shoulders. He tried to bring her back to him but she seemed so lost in whatever was happening to her. Like she had checked out, or something else had checked in, and the sky was beginning to grow dark. Memphis started at it and her for a moment, eyes dashing from one to the other in panic before he got some of his own bearings back.

"Dae stop." He called out to her but she seemed so distance. "Phridae you have to calm down and stop this!" Still he couldn't get through to her even as he shook her and waved a hand in front of her face. She was creating an ice storm and if she was even a fraction of as powerful as what he had read about in his studies on Garth and during his sessions with Indah this could be decimating. He hoped the Shrines would have some kind of safe guard against this, some kind of elemental protection against all of the elements but he couldn't exactly hunker down and wait it out. What if he was wrong she destroyed everything around them. What if she hurt herself, she wasn't properly trained, at least not that he knew of, her element might still be able to physically harm her. And he knew it could harm him as little spikes of ice fell around them, breaking the skin on his forearms and cheeks.

Standing up quickly and threw his arms out toward the skies "TYPH TRANQUILLA!" He shouted as the magic reverberated from within him, it was like waves of light crashing into the dark snowy clouds she had summoned but they barely made a dent. Even untrained she was that much more powerful than him. He was weakened from spell but not so much that he was out of options. Casting another in a more solid and calm down he muttered "Typh Sphero" as he moved to kneel beside her once more. With his hand he held the barely visible shining gold force field around them, protecting them for the most part of the spikes of ice that came crashing down on them. The ice melted as it hit the sphere he'd created around them, leaving both of them soaked as he tried once more to bring her back to reality by shaking her with his free hand and screaming.

"PHRIDAE PLEASE, PLEASE COME BACK!"

Her eyes drifted around her quickly but she couldn’t see beyond the onslaught of memories as her reality was taken away. She saw her mistakes and triumphs, she saw both the pride and disappointment in her successes and failures. She could feel the warmth of memphis’s arms encase her, but the world around her had dissolved and was replaced by moments she never knew were there. Her name touch the air but the lips saying them didn’t match the voice she heard. This voice it called out to her heart and overpowered her grandmothers warnings. The warmth was gone as was his voice.

She shivered for the first time in a very long time, her hands moved to run down her arms as if she were truly cold. It was all too much to understand, to even begin to accept. the person she had become had been broken down, altered somehow by the the overprotectiveness of her grandmother. She was afraid that who she might become would be unappealing or so far from who she had grown into that she didn’t recognize herself. What if it changed everything between her and Memphis. Memphis. Delicate brows pulled together as his voice touched her ears again, this time she heard him. She heard the desperation in his voice and her heart broke.

Her gasp was soft as she saw the ice rink and remember the moment he had first touched her. The warmth of his hand brought her back causing her to blink rapidly washing out the moments they had shared I love you as he came into view. “Mem..Memphis…” She was confused and she felt lost. Her gaze rose as she felt the cool liquid of the melt ice touch her and for the first time since the storm had appeared she was completely aware. Her gaze dropped back down as she took a deep slow breath, looking Memphis in the eyes as she did so. As quickly as it had come the storm faded away as if it had never been there.

Her body slumped forward as she felt the full affects of what had been caused by her unhinged emotions. She was mentally and physically exhausted. Her eyes moved around them, taking everything in as her heart calmed in her chest. She saw the cuts lining the strong arms of her boyfriend and her hands moved out to touch him but she paused. The garth shifted back, away from him, afraid that somehow she might hurt him again. “I…” Despite all her years of grooming, she broke. The fine edges of her poised nature shattered as a single tear rolled carelessly down her cheek. Curly hair swayed as Phridae’s shoulder rose and her head shook in and attempt to stop the sob from escaping her throat.

She turned, letting her hair fall to shield her from view. She felt so betrayed but most of all she felt as if she were someone else. “I apologize for allowing my emotions to get the best of me..” Her words were soft as if speaking louder would make her cry without pause. She hated this part of being human, the vulnerableness that could come from a single moment. “Did..did I hurt you badly..” She couldn’t look at him, not knowing what she now knew. She couldn’t say the words aloud even if she wanted to confide in him. A trust as had been broken, one she never thought would falter. She could understand her teacher wanting to lock away the memories, but to know her own grandmother had hidden something so precious from her cut deep.

“I've ruined the day..it wasn’t my intention..”

The ward of invisible magic seemed to be working for the moment but there was no telling how long Memphis would be able to keep it up. He was struggling to perform against her powerful and raw abilities as it was and he was already growing tired. He thought he was good at being an elemental, thought he was strong, but he was quickly being proved wrong. He was young and no amount of study or dedication could grant him him the strength that Garth elementals seemed to be born with. He heard her murmur his name and he rubbed his palm up and down her upper arm quickly in a warming fashion, hoping that she was becoming aware of the situation because it was dire.

He watched as the witch before him seemed to fall apart and it filled him with a worry he had never known before. All he wanted was to take back the last fifteen minutes, go back to the moments they shared at her apartment before coming here. He should of waited to bring her here. He should of known better. Memphis quickly fell into a pit of self pity and blame as she tried to push out words. She apologized but he shook his head at her quickly. "No you don't need to-" he tried to cut in as she began to ask if he had been hurt.

It was the first he realized that his arms and face had been cut by the tiny icicles that she had created. The little cuts stung but they didn't bleed much. He brushed the small amount of blood from his cheek bone onto the sleeve of his dress shirt, the one he had picked out especially for this afternoon and then shook his head at her once more. "I'm fine, are you okay?" It was all about her, just like it had been for the past few months, his health be damned if she was upset he was there for her.

"What happened?" He asked, moving straight past her mention of ruining the day. The storm had passed but that didn't mean they could just pretend it didn't happen. A stone statue a few yards from them had been knocked from its base and the grass seemed unusually damp for a sunny day but all other signs of the storm had disappeared. His worry, however, was far from over. "You looked like you might faint?"

“N…No..” Her voice was soft and the tears still hung there waiting for the invitation to fall. She wasn’t sure what to do or where to go from this point on. So much about herself had been revealed and even if none of it was bad it was still so new to her.  Her hands moved to push the auburn hair from her face before her eyes drifted up towards the sky. Everything seemed so peaceful now, all but her mind. She wondered about the moments she that now somehow shaped her. She worried about how what had just happened affected her and Memphis.

Pale grey eyes dropped down so that she could look at her hands. How would she ever be able to say the words aloud?  “I…” She looked over at him and her resolve broke. A full bottom quivered as her hand came to run down her face in an attempt to keep the tears from spilling over. The Garth exhaled a shaky as a trembling hand slide back to rest on her neck. “I apologize…I never…” She didn’t cry in public, ever. She didn't lose her composure. It just wasn’t done. Being vulnerable was something the former Ravenclaw reserved for moments alone with a glass of wine.

“Excuse me…I…seem to still be a bit upset.” She felt as if she were shattering. As if the pieces of herself were scattered all around and there was no way of ever putting them back together. Her lips parted but the words wouldn’t come. Phridae took a deep breath, steeling herself. “Have…have you ever thought something and believe in it — for it to crumble under the weight of the truth?” Her gaze dropped as neat brows pulled together in confusion. “They were like crashing waves. These…memories.” They were still there, flooding her mind and threatening to take her focus. Her hand slid up into her hair where it rested as she looked up at him, locking her gaze with his.

There was a calmness that settled over her as she sat there mesmerized. The world didn’t seem so jumbled, she didn’t feel so lost. Her hand reached out to let her finger brush his cheek. “I should be embarrassed for allowing my composure to falter the way it did. I’ve never cried in front of anyone before.” It was easier to string together the words now, that was comforting. “I’ve known I was an Elemental since I was seven…I just didn’t remember it all until now…”

Her emotions frightened him but not nearly as much as the near catastrophic storm she had almost summoned. The small cuts on his face and forearms stung from the cold air that came after she had begun to speak. "Don't apologize, it's okay." He said, trying to comfort her even though he had no idea why she was so upset. He wondered if he had done wrong bringing her here. She was clearly upset but he couldn't fix what he didn't understand. Her words were cryptic and he wanted to push for more information but he had trouble finding the words to edge his way in. If she was in pain, physical or emotional, the last thing he wanted to do was pile on. He cared about her more than he cared about gaining intelligence. If she wanted to tell him he hoped that she would, but he would allow her time to breath. The puzzled look on his face was unavoidable as she begin to explain in riddles and metaphors he barely understood but of course he assumed the worst. Was she calling him out on something? It was in his nature to assume things were about him but he tried to be better than that with her. Her loved her too much to be selfish and self absorbed with her but sometimes his true nature broke through the cracks.

"I'm not sure... I'm not sure I understand what you mean?"

He was confused and that was both a foreign and uncomfortable feeling for the intellectual young man. Finally she granted him a snack size piece of information that allowed him to put some things together. Memories. She'd know about all of this, about who she really was since she was seven years old but didn't remember. "How could that be?" He asked before the words really had a chance to sit in his mind. Quickly trying to recover he spoke again, inching closer to her, wanting nothing more than to comfort her. "Who would do something like that? Why?" He didn't understand it. He understood why no one told him what he was, there was no one left to teach him about it, the last elemental in his family had died before he was born, but her situation made no sense. Why would someone hide what she was from her? They had to of known that would do nothing but postpone the inevitable. If anything it would cause her or others harm, trying to pretend she wasn't an elemental was dangerous.

Reaching for her hand as he began to stand up Memphis ignored the dried blood that had pooled on his forearms from the tiny paper cut like lacerations. "Come with me Phridae." He said in a serious tone, giving her a 'trust me' kind of look and trying to ignore the stares they had begun to collect from passing by elementals. The council didn't like to mess around with out of control affinities. If she made too much of a scene, put anyone in danger, he feared what they might do and here at Inverness their rule was absolute. He wouldn't be able to protect her here, not if the council came asking questions.

Pulling her up from the ground if she would allow him the air elemental squeezed her hand once affectionately but did not let it go, instead he turned to lead her across the lawns and past the shrines straight to one of the few people he knew he could trust here. Knocking quietly on the door to his home and place of study Memphis prayed that the fire giant would be home and open to company. "Niko, Niko are you there? Please let us in."

@Nikodim Balaur

Niko had felt a stir in the air, a hint of unfamiliar magic. Not from either of his affinities, nor was it Hor. It was strong enough to register for Niko, though it was gone almost as soon as it had gathered. The burly Russian didn't really feel moved to be concerned. It was a fairly regular occurrence for young elementals to lose control as they learned their limits. Their teachers normally reigned them in before any serious damage was done. Since the surge seemed brief, Niko assumed it was a small slip quickly contained.

He was just putting some water on to boil for tea when he heard a knock at his door and a familiar voice asking for entrance. Nikodim was glad to have Memphis for company, but there was a kind of strange undertone to his voice which had the incin on alert. He sounded strained, maybe a little frightened? And that we. Memphis had another person with him, and Niko knew it was no one he knew, although he felt their elemental aura even through the door. They were, well, leaking. It was hard to describe, but little flicks and flares were slipping through the air. Cold. Garth? Possibly.

Despite his misgivings, his smile was warm and welcoming as he opened. "Memphis? Your timing is perfect. I was just going to put on the water for tea." He saw the dried blood on his arms and the stress on his younger friend's face and the slightly vacant look on his companion's face. He quirked an eyebrow, opening his door wider to allow them access to his home. "It looks like you might need something a little stronger than tea. Inside, both of you." Once they were inside, Niko closed the door. "Sit, sit. You look wrecked, both of you." He motioned to two of the simple but comfortable chairs around the small table near the fireplace.

As Niko got down mugs, he spoke to the two guests. "I'm glad to see you again, Memphis, although I feel like this isn't a casual visit." He filled the mugs with hot water, adding small spoonfuls of the green tea mix he loved best. Niko placed the cups on the table in front of the two younger elementals, taking a seat in the last available chair, looking a little over-sized in the space. "Introductions first, I think. So Memphis, who is the lovely young woman you've brought with you to Inverness?"

Her hands moved to run over her face, a sigh falling from her lips, in an attempt to fully gain control of her emotions. She couldn't allow herself to be this weak, to be this vulnerable. There were so many questions now that she needed answered. So many she was afraid to know the truth about. She could understand the danger she posed to herself and those around her but to be made to believe something other than the truth, it was cruel. Her eyes closed as he bottom lip was pulled between her teeth. It was harder to reign in her emotions everything seemed to be intensified. Slowly her gaze rested on him and she smiled a bit, lifting a hand to cup his cheek.

“I love you…” She didn’t know it but Memphis had been the anchor keeping her grounded as she lost herself. He had been the thing to bring her back from the depths of chaos that consumed her. “…and even if you won’t accept I am truly sorry for my…lapse in control.” she had hurt him there was no ignoring that, not for her.  Her gaze shifted as her hand dropped to rest on the wet grass. She watched her fingers run through the cool strands and found a comfort in it. She considered for a moment how to say she knew she would have to. How to let the words come without losing herself all over again.

Neat brows furrowed before she looked up at Memphis again. “To protect me…from the influence of my father.” Her grandmother had been clear in that accord. Phridae's safety was all that mattered and what needed to be done, no matter how hard it may have been, was done. “My whole life he controlled every aspect…who I saw…what I did…how long I stayed in front of the piano.” She looked away, shaking her head a bit. “My…My grandmother…” Her heart dropped into her stomach as a hand moved to rest over where it once had been. She clutched the fabric slightly as she exhaled a breath, keeping herself calm.

Her gaze dropped to his outstretched hand before looking back up at his face. Full lips parted as if to speak but nothing came out, her hand simply rose to rest in his only hesitating for a moment. She rose, using her free hand to brush off her clothes before fidgeting with them. Her eyes washed over the area, resting on the fallen statue as they moved. She could have hurt someone, she could have hurt Memphis. The former Claw silently scolded herself before her steps faltered. Pale grey eyes snapped towards the door ahead of them as the air around her grew too warm for comfort. Her free hand rose to rest on her collarbone, letting her fingers brush over her throat as the air around her grew thick.

With each step the space around her seemed to shrink. “Wha…”. She felt trapped and uncomfortable. The air was too warm and too thick for her to feel confidence in her ability to function properly. Her hand moved up to rub the back of her neck, eyes closing a bit as she involuntarily took a step back. Her emotions were too raw, she was too sensitive to everything around her. Who ever was coming to answer the door was someone she could feel in every inch of her being. She hadn’t been sure what to expect. Her gaze rose to rest on the other man’s face as he fully came into view. Her vision was blurred and if she had to be honest she felt strange.

Phridae allowed Memphis to lead her inside, resisting the urge to drop the temperature. Especially now so soon after she lost faith in her ability to maintain control. She sighed as her body found comfort in a chair. This rest was needed for both her body and her mind. She leaned a bit, watching the rather large man move about as he made tea. “I feel a bit strange Memphis…” Her voice was low and uncetrain as she spoke, as if she was still trying to figure out what was wrong. It was more than her emotions that much she was sure now. Her gaze dropped to rest on the mug placed down for her as she worried at her bottom lip. She loved tea, preferred iced, it had always been good at calming the young elemental. Her hand reached out as she stared at the smoke given off by the hot liquid. Her fingertips paused just inches from the mug before Phridae pulled her hand back onto her lap. Her gaze rose to the man Memphis had called Niko, seemingly having missed all the pervious conversation the two might have shared as she contemplated a drink.

“I apologize for the intrusion…”

The more she told him about her father the more he disliked him. He was judging without proper investigation but he couldn't help himself. If he had caused Phridae pain, or even been the root of why such a thing was hidden from her, Memphis didn't like him. He wondered how bad he could possibly be that warranted such a reaction from her grandmother. Hiding an elementals abilities was a shocking notion to him, it sounded extremely unsafe with the reason being exactly what had just happened. Now that he had more information he figured an outburst like that was inevitable for her but he felt twisted and contradicting emotions about being here when it happened. On one hand he found himself wanting to be there for all of the important things in her life. She was the most important thing in his so it was only natural. However on the other hand he felt an immeasurable guilt for bringing it on the way he did. It was his idea to bring her here after all.

Memphis had many faults focusing on himself in a time like this was one he was trying to work on. So instead of letting thoughts of his part in what had transpired and feelings of guilt seep in he stood up and assigned his attentions back to her. Bringing her to Niko's hadn't been the plan so soon but now it seemed like the only course of action. If they stayed out in the lawns someone might take notice and then there would be questions. He looked at Phridae's face as they made their way to Niko's hut and something told him she wasn't up for that right now. She looked like she'd been scraped empty and it made him sad. He couldn't imagine the way she must of been feeling. To think something was real for her entire life only to have it ripped away in an icy storm. He'd never had to face something so draining, so profound, and he was lost. Thankfully as soon as the door opened it seemed like Niko had some proper direction and he pulled them inside. He sat in a chair next to the one Dae had chosen but leaned foreward, his rear end barely on the edge of the seat, so that he could continue to hold her hand and offer the occasional reassuring squeeze. "It is natural but you won't be hurt." He tried to comfort her, while the heat was most likely discomforting to Phridae he hoped she would believe him. Ice and Fire were not strict counters so it would take effort on Niko's part to really hurt her.

"Dae this is Nikodim Balaur." He said briefly and wondered if he should offer more information. Since he wasn't sure how either of them would feel about him revealing their elemental types Memphis chewed on his cheek for a moment. He assumed Niko at least would be able to intuit exactly what Phridae was but perhaps not the extent of her training, or lack thereof. Niko this is Phridae Summers, my girlfriend." He finished with a title that would hopefully make her smile. Saying it out loud made him feel warm inside and he couldn't stop himself from gazing at her for the tiniest of moments. It was still a new relationship but he was all in. "Thank you for the tea." With his free hand he reached for the stone fired mug and took a large sip, its warm and comforting contents soothing all the way down. "I wanted to introduce the two of you in a much more organized fashion. I hope we are not intruding or interrupting Niko?"

Niko could sense the tension rolling off of his new guest. He guessed at its source. Her element didn't bother him much, but he was used to spending extended time with Garth elementals, so the feel of her particular kind of affinity was not new to him. He guessed she had probably not encountered many of his element before. He banked the fire in the hearth with a glance, then closed his eyes and banked his own inner fires, He hadn't been as closely guarded as he normally was. He was alone in his own home, after all. Now he consciously dampened his own power. It was easy after so many years. Now the feeling in the hut should be more tolerable.

"My apologies, Memphis, Phridae," he rumbled in his deep voice. "I was not expecting quests so the... temperature might have been a little high for some." He knelt before Phridae, making himself less imposing. He gave her a warm smile. "You are a welcome guest in my home, and under my protection. I can promise your safety as well as Memphis' as long as you need protection."

His eyes flicked back and forth between the two of them. "Congratualtions," he told them, his tone and smile genuine. "Although I feel like this is more than a casual visit. So, what has happened? You are both shaken, Phridae more so. I can only help if I know what has happened." He fixed Phridae with a gentle look. "Were you the source of teh surge I felt a few minutes before you knocked on my door?"

She could see the memories as they flooded in, one at a time each in the order it was taken. It was like flipping through the channels to find something to watch. Just enough was given to help her to remember before it was gone, fleeting. She could remember her first lessons, each failure and success testing her skills and knowledge. It hurt the brunette more to remember how attentive and caring her grandmother had been with her during those summer months.

It was comforting to have Memphis so close, he kept her from being completely lost to the memories and emotions. Limpid grey eyes dropped down to stare at their hands as her fingers moved to interlock with his. Having this small bit of contact was what kept her grounded. It was all that was keeping the demand at bay. Phridae’s sigh was soft as the temperature in the room became bearable. “Thank you…” Her free hand rose to let the tips of her finger run along her forehead. She gave a smile as she was introduced, giving a small squeeze to Memphis’s hand.

It was still new to her to feel as deeply as she did for the man next to her. She had the crushes all young girls get. She even thought she might have loved someone before him. It wasn’t until she felt it, truly in the depth of her being felt it, that she realized everything she had ever felt was simply preparing her. The young Garth knew that whatever she had to endure next he would be by her side. Knowing he was in her corner counted for more then most things in her life.

Her gaze was locked on the other man as he spoke, his words somehow comforting to the young elemental. It was strange to feel so disconnected from herself. Phridae had always had that, a certain sense of self. She had never needed protecting. Her world was shattered and it was hard to say if she would ever get over the pain. The more she thought about it the more she could see a bit of understanding. Not clarity or satisfaction but an understanding that love made people do terrible things.

“Yes…I was..” She looked down, ashamed that she had been so weak, too afraid to wait for the judgment to settle in his gaze. “..unable to control myself.” Her free hand rose to take hold to the stone in the necklace she wore, a deep frown marring her features. “I was swept up in an onslaught of memories…” Here she looked up at the fairly large man. “…as if seeing that building outside was the key that kept them hidden.”

Nikodim looked over Phridae as she spoke. She seemed a little disassociated from herself. Shock, he thought clinically. Some charm or enchantment had been broken, and the aftershocks were still probably affecting the girl in front of him. Poor Memphis looked just as shaken, but he was trying to be strong. "Drink the tea," he advised both of them. "It should help calm you down."

He kept a careful eye on the young woman. "A memory charm. Keyed to a location, perhaps. To make you forget, repress memories until such a time as the triggering image or memory was found. Or perhaps it was overwhelmed by the sudden surge of memory, tied closely to this place, the knowledge of Inverness." Niko was musing, but he had no solid experience to go off of. "Mind you, I'm no expert. But this seems like a likely explanation."

"Do you have any idea who might have placed such a spell on you? Or why they did it?" Niko sighed, rubbing a hand through his short-cropped hair. "I hate to ask such questions of you when you are clearly shaken, but it is best we look at these things while everything is so fresh, right after the incident. Also, in case the council comes knocking, having answers for them is far preferable. They do not like surprises on the best of days."