Where the Wyld Things Are (Amaranth)

Placing the last invoice that had required his signature upon Fellclaw’s side of the desk, a cacophony of snaps and pops seemed to herald the beginning of a new day as he absently cracked his neck before reaching for the crumpled pack of Lucky Strikes he had tossed haphazardly on his desk the night before “Good thing she isn’t around or I would never hear the end of it…” Fighting back the incipient hangover and the full body shudder that seemed to pass over his frame as he imagined one of his mother’s rants, he momentarily fumbled for his matches and then watched as they tumbled to the floor.

Ignoring the fact that a humble ‘Accio’ would have the aforementioned matches back in his hand or that a simple incantation would light his cigarette for him, he seemed bound and determined to do things he hard way; another splendid aftereffect of carousing a bit too much with Gregoire after hours. Muttering something about the French and their deceptively strong constitutions, he struggled to reach the box of matches that had conveniently fallen underneath his desk Come on, almost there… Who knew it would be this hard to light a cigarette? Banging his elbow against the side of his desk, he was just about to curse a blue streak when his tirade was cut short “Your mother must have the patience of a Dragon on its hoard to put up with your foolishness…  I told both her and your father to just replace you with a crup, but they never seemed to listen.”

Fighting back a groan as he flopped back down in his chair, he didn’t say a single word as he allowed the flick of a match and the long draw of nicotine put things in perspective “Then it’s a good thing I am not your son isn’t it Fellclaw?”

A look of disgust seemed to resonate on his General managers features for the briefest of moments “I would have drowned you at birth and none of my family would have taken umbrage to it, of that I can assure you” Hoisting himself up into his chair, he refused to have one designed for his own ease of comfort,  Jonathon's one time employer now turned employee began to peruse the stack of paperwork that had grown seemingly overnight “At least you learned how to sign your name properly during your time in Hogwarts, good thing that higher education didn’t go to waste.” Muttering a few juicer comments in Gobbledegook, despite knowing full well that eldest son of the Grimwise family spoke the language, he simply continued with the task at hand while ignoring his so-called boss.

Smiling despite himself, Jonathon took his time in going over the list of things that needed doing Feed the venomous snakes this week, the pythons have already eaten according to the calendar… The spiders need to be fed as well and I need to check on that wound on one of the kneazel kits when Hawthorn brings it in. Frowning slightly as he glanced at his watch, he slowly stood up and headed towards the door “Are Sarah and Paul here yet?”

“Paul yes, Sarah no… She’s probably out sniffing around for a rich mate again instead of arriving on time for once; I told you she would be trouble from the beginning but you bought that sob story of hers.” Scoffing at the lack of business sense, he simply returned to his paperwork.

“Yes well maybe it’s time I start following your advice for once Fellclaw, if she does show up, send her home without pay… If that doesn’t smarten her up then we’ll have to let her go.” Butting out his cigarette he just shook his head “I’m off to do my rounds; I trust you don’t need me in the offices today?”

“I’d sooner need a blade in my liver, go on and play with your animals.” Harrumphing at the suggestion that he needed help from anyone, let alone his jackanape of a boss, he simply returned to his paperwork with a smirk and a renewed sense of fervor; he had been waiting for a reason, any reason really, to get rid of that lackluster employee and here was his chance.

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Offering a faint nod and a smile towards the only responsible member of the waiting staff that he had left as he moved from the offices and onto the main floor, he cleared his throat and reached for the Dragon hide gauntlets “How many strikes do you think I will get today Paulie boy?” Receiving a nervous laugh for his efforts, he simply set himself to the task at hand; it was the only way to do it when it came to dangerous creatures Hmm the Acanthophis first, then the Notechis… We’ll save the Dendroaspis polylepis for last. Moving towards the large crate where he kept their food under lock and key, a murmured ‘Stupify’ was said three times in succession as he withdrew said number of rats from the cage

“Remind me to thank Hawthorn for the ward work Paul, the last time I did this, we were chasing rats down the hall for days.” Ignoring any sort of reply that Paul made, he simply turned towards the terrariums in question with a faint smile on his face He’s going to have to learn how to do this eventually; Hawthorn refuses to have anything to do with the snakes or spiders and with Sarah being as reliable as she is… Pausing for a moment, a genuine smile seemed to pass over his features “Paul come here, I want to teach you something you just may need to know in the future.”

Watching as his would be apprentice gingerly made his way towards the terrariums, Jonathon just smiled “I’m not going to have you feed them yet Paul; you’re not quite ready for that yet.” Watching as the younger man let out a sigh of relief he continued “The death adder, the tiger snake, and mamba are up to be fed today and I just wanted to impress upon you the inherent dangers with some of these animals; hence all the precautions.” Motioning towards the three tanks in question, he paused for a moment before lifting the lid “You can never be too careful when it comes to these particular breeds; they can go from docile to aggressive in a heartbeat and you would never see it coming.”

Dropping the rodent inside, the lid was quickly closed and the process repeated for the remaining two specimens “Seems we lucked out today Paul, no strikes, but you can never get complacent with these creatures.” Looking stern for the briefest of moments he continued “If you take anything away from what I just said, just remember that complacency kills.” Smiling faintly as they younger man seemed to take it to heart, a murmured ‘Rennervate’ sent the rodents moving in all directions as the serpents they were intended for took no time in striking their prey “There, we’re all done, why don’t you feed the spiders while I watch the counter for a bit; I’m feeling a tad delicate today and need to be in top form when the kneazel kit arrives.” 

Tossing the gauntlets back where he had found them, he didn’t wait for an answer as he settled behind the counter and recorded the feeding dates and times; one could say many things about his work ethic when it came to bills and other official paperwork, but anything to do with the animals themselves was undertaken with great care and due diligence Only another seven hours to go… Must get some caffeine downrange…  Idly contemplating sneaking out for a quick bite, that damnable thing called a conscience prevented him from even truly considering it as he slumped down behind the counter. As the door chime of doom heralded his imprisonment for the day, he couldn't stop one particular stanza from popping into his head For whom the bell tolls it tolls for thee... Adapting a somewhat professional demeanor as the day truly started, which wasn't saying much, he waited for what was hopefully the first of many customers to finish their browsing and approach the counter.

Usually Amaranth hated leaving work early, but as she stepped out into the mid-morning sun she rolled her shoulders and pulled the door closed behind her, a small sigh leaving her pale lips. It felt warm out today-- she could feel the sun on her face. It wasn’t often that the heat permeated Knockturn Alley like this. It was probably summer’s last hurrah before plunging back into the dreary cold of fall and a bitter winter. Of course, Britain’s cold was nothing compared to the deep freeze of her underground home in the siberian mountains, but it wasn’t anything to sniff at either.

Sinbad was wrapped around her neck, his long body draping over her shoulders like a scarf. She absently pet his head and hopped down the two steps to the ground before heading to Diagon Alley to check on her family jewelry shop. Today was pay day and the boss had to be there for that apparently. For someone so young, Amaranth wore quite a lot of hats. Some days she was the shopkeeper of Stringfellow’s Jewelry in Diagon Alley, managing affairs and being the face of the business. Other days (and most nights) she worked in Grimli, helping to run Knockturn Alley’s premiere fight club in the basement of a dusty trinket shop. But most days...most days Amaranth was a mercenary, doing or planning  terrible things in the dark of night. Kidnapping, blackmail, assassination, robbery, ripping the tags off mattresses-- she’d done all manner of deprived things in the last three years. A lot of hats for such a small head.

She could feel herself leaving Knockturn Alley, the invisible dark fog lifting as she entered the closest district of Diagon Alley. Amaranth walked along the sidewalk, careful to avoid people as Sinbad hissed softly in her ear for her to keep against the wall. Amaranth put her hand out and brushed her fingertips along the wall as she passed, feeling the bumps and the groves of the somewhat familiar shops. She wasn’t much for exploration, but as she passed one shop in particular, her gait slowed and she came to a halt. She sniffed the air experimentally, smelling hay and dirt and the overwhelmingly forest-y smell of cedar and wildlife, though they were definitely right in the middle of Diagon Alley. Bizarre.

Her foot hovered forward, as if to keep going, but her naggingly childish curiosity got the better of her and she pivoted, walking up to the door. As if reading her mind, Sinbad lifted his head to her ear and hissed in a low voice: ”Where the Wyld Things Are”. Lookss to be another pet shop. Amaranth tilted her head to the side, taking in another cedar-y breath. It smelled good, almost like a mini forest in Diagon Alley.

Amaranth pushed the door open with her shoulder, the smell hitting her ten times harder than it had before, positively engulfing her. This was promising. It was very quiet and she could hear the soft hissing of a number of snakes in the showroom. Amaranth made a slow lap around the room, listening to the sounds of the animals moving and living and being animals. Most of them seemed content to be in cages so she moved on, eventually approaching the front counter where a man, a very, very tall one from the sound of his breathing, was standing.

Last time she walked into a bloody pet shop the owner had ended up bleeding and unconscious on the floor, so this time she would try not to maim someone. This guy would probably put up more of a fight too. “Excuse me,” she said, putting her hands on the counter, similar to how a child might. “Is there anyone here I can talk to about procuring a basilisk?”

Despite the delicate frame of mind he was currently in, Amaranth’s entrance and subsequent lap about the store went far from unnoticed as did the serpent about her neck If it’s been defanged she’s getting tossed, I don’t go for animal mutilations… Especially if she’s looking to make a fashion statement. Following her with his eyes as she passed the various terrariums and aquariums, he could only smirk as Paul quickly moved out of her way with a polite “Excuse me.” Perhaps in another shop she would have been fawned over or shown a million products she didn’t actually want but this establishment was dedicated to the discerning pet owner If they don’t know what they want when they get here, they might as well head to the Menagerie or Owl Emporium; they can take the time there to guide babes through the woods… Satisfied that she wasn’t simply browsing but actually inspecting how the specimens here were treated before making an informed purchase, he simply motioned for Paul to continue with his work and waited for the negotiations to begin.

As Paul scurried down the aisles in an effort to feed the various other reptiles and the arachnids that were being kept in house, Jonathon nearly allowed his jaw to drop as she asked about the acquisition and/or breeding of the King of Serpents Sure there was that one time for the Goblins, but that was outside of Great Britain and was covered by their various treaties… She does realize that this is Diagon and not Knockturn doesn’t she… Wait this could be an investigation or even a raid...best keep from incriminating myself… Deciding that been loud and brash wouldn’t serve him any better in this situation than it did during his various forays, he simply countered her request with one of his own “While I would truly like to discuss the matter further Miss, there is a certain process that all potential clientele are required to go through…”

Reaching for the thick Dragon Hide gauntlets that he had recently stashed, he slid them on just as he had done a million times before “Firstly I would ask to inspect the Naja annulata, commonly known as the ringed cobra or ringed water cobra, about your neck. I apologize if this comes across as rude or impolitic but before we allow potential clients to purchase one of our many specimens or make special requests, we have to be sure that they are capable of providing the necessary care for their companion animals... Once this is finished, we can discuss the other requirements and then get to the heart of the matter.”

When the man didn't respond to her question with horror or scared laughter, Amaranth simply raised an eyebrow. Interesting. While she doubted he had any real information on how to get his hands on a basilisk egg, she had been curious to find out what kind of man she might be dealing with. Amaranth wasn't in the market to deal with anyone with an overabundance of morals and goodliness in them, but rather she was looking for someone with a way with animals and an adventurous spirit for what she had in mind. So far this man had done little to impress her, but he hadn't disappointed her yet either.

Then he asked to look at Sinbad. No, he didn't so much as ask as he did state that he was about to touch her snake. Her first instinct was to snap his forearm in half and make him eat granite for being so presumptuous, but she stopped herself. He was an animal man, so it was a little more acceptable. At least he had standards. Regardless, Amaranth held a hand out to stop him. "While I appreciate your concern sir, I will have to firmly decline." She tapped Sinbad softly under the chin and his head rose up to look at the man in front of her. "As I'm sure you can see, Sinbad is in perfect health, if not for the fact that he's getting a bit fat--" she felt his body tighten irritably around her neck, but she ignored it. Sinbad opened his mouth and let out a hiss, fanning his hood out as wide as possible, as if to prove her point. "Not that it's any of your business. I can't imagine I would like strangers manhandling me without my consent, can you? So it's really not my choice to make. It's his."

It was an honest mistake that a lot of people made. Sinbad wasn't just an animal with no free will or voice, to her he was a real person-- a true companion. All of her snakes were. He wasn't a mindless creature; he could run intellectual circles around most of the humans that she knew. She secretly treasured her animals because without them she would be alone and probably even more insane. Animals understood her much better than humans ever could. Sinbad seemed to be looking hard at the man, then said: Let him go ahead. I like his type. And I can always kill him if he gets too fresh with me. Amaranth listened, hiding her surprise and trying to make it seem like the snake was not, in fact, talking to her. It was a bit early to be spilling the Parselmouth-related beans.

But that was strange. Sinbad didn't take a liking to many people, in fact he pretty much hated everyone. Almost hesitantly, Amaranth carefully undraped Sinbad's body from around her neck and set him down on the countertop for the man to look at. "It appears Sinbad is feeling in a good mood and will allow you to inspect him," she said, with a little venom in her voice. It was almost insulting that he would suspect abuse or neglect, but also acceptable because he didn't know her. Most people who did knew she valued snakes more than humans. It was much more reasonable to suspect her of abusing rich wizards and black-market salesmen than it was to suspect her of abusing her snakes. She spoiled them, if anything. It was probably unhealthy.

"But while he may be okay with it, I have a counter-proposal. Once you are finished inspecting him, I would like to inspect you."

Smirking ever so slightly at her irritation, he would be a fool to accept it at face value, but righteous indignation on behalf of one’s companion was highly promising. “If that is your counter-proposal Miss, then I demand to be treated with the same gentleness or roughness that I show your friend here, otherwise the bargain is hardly fair now is it?” Reaching for the snake hook, the name was highly misleading as there was no barb nor even a sharp point as it was merely used to guide the serpent rather than force it, he ever so slowly stretched out Sinbad to his full length with the same care one might have for a child. To his ever-lasting shame, he essentially ignored Amanrath as he continued to speak “You’re not fat little one, merely muscular, I can tell by the way you instinctively fight me, just a little while yet; I don’t think your friend has been mistreating you but I have been deceived before.” Refusing to demand more of the serpent’s good graces any further then he had to, he simply placed the ‘hook’ back from whence it came.

“You’re right of course in saying that they are individuals in their own right, and while I didn’t intend to give offense, I would rather have someone offended then allow any creature to suffer indignities.” Having not started to re-examine her serpent yet he continued “I had the great displeasure of encountering a customer who demanded that I vet her serpent that had been recently rendered venomoid; defanged in laymen’s terms… Imagine my shock when the Aurors came here after she reportedly was bitten and envenomed…” Tenderly running a gloved hand over the serpent’s body as if he were checking for parasites, there was neither fear nor a sense of complacency about his actions; one either respected the animal and hopefully remained intact or paid the price Much as she did when I replaced her poor creature with an intact one of my own... So much for showing off with her snake at her next function. “I hear that the poor woman lost a limb from the venom before she was treated… I warned her that there are cases of serpents regenerating their venom glands, but she didn’t listen to me… They never did find that snake though.” Of course they didn’t, considering I had it retrieved and is sitting in yonder tank… Poor Hawthorn still hasn’t gotten over the experience. Gently releasing Sinbad, he slowly turned his head “Paul, bring me one of the smaller frogs would you?” Watching as his apprentice scurried off, he simply continued with the inspection while maintaining the conversation at hand “Ever since then I have taken great care in whom I chose as a potential customer.” Admiring the clarity of Sinbad’s naturally dark eyes, his voice seemed to shift slightly “What a gorgeous serpent you are Sinbad.”

Clearing his throat, he seemingly glanced at Amanrath “My apologies, I tend to treat the various animals and creatures better than their companions at times; a major failing according to some…” Gently lifting the serpent to observe the belly scales, a genuine smile seemed to pass over his face “It seems I owe you both an apology, he is in excellent condition.” Stepping back to allow the poor serpent some room to figuratively breath, he accepted the small box from Paul with a murmured “Thank you.” Turning towards Amanrath and her serpent once more, he continued with his train of thought “With both of your permissions, I would love to see Sinbad’s striking capability; on a frog mind you, not me.” Sliding the box towards her, he took the time to reassure her “They are all bred in captivity and I can vouch for their health if that is a concern but, if he has already eaten then I understand and insist you take it for him to fed on at a later date; it wouldn’t be fair to tease him…" Hating himself for doing this, I know she treats him well but I have to make sure a short sigh preceded what he was about to say next " Unfortunately I do need to see his fangs and venom in working order before we can continue… I’m sorry but I made that mistake once and while you seem to truly care for him, I would rather have Sinbad here latch onto my gauntlet then let you walk out the door with him suffering such a fate”