A Question Of Answers [Demeter]

In a small guest room at the Elemental Council of Inverness, a small girl smoothed down her new, loose-fitting green robes and sat down on the single bed with its pristine white sheets. Carefully she placed the tips of her fingers together, closed her eyes, and emptied her mind. If there was ever a time she needed to meditate it was now, and yet her thoughts refused to be still. It felt as if everything she had learned over the past two and a half years had slipped out of her head and been replaced with cotton wool. Even the arcane words she would soon be speaking seemed to have vanished from her memory.

To say that Linnet was nervous would be an understatement. She stopped trying to meditate and laced her fingers together, staring intently at her hands. Until today the initiation ceremony had seemed far ahead in the future, some mildly unpleasant yet essential rite of passage she would undergo in order to further her studies, much like taking her OWLs last year. And yet now the day was here she would have done anything to put it off. She didn't feel ready, she was terrified...and she certainly didn't want anyone to cut her flesh to imbed a rune inside her body.

It wasn't too late. She could leave now, say she'd changed her mind or make up some excuse, some news from home that meant she had to leave before the initiation ceremony took place, and then...what? Exist in some quasi-magical world where she could neither use her wand nor perform any elemental spells more advanced than she had already mastered? Sure, that might be enough to let her get a job with a herbologist, and she would certainly be able to grow plants quicker than any ordinary wizard, but how would she live the rest of her life knowing she had run away from what might have been? Besides, she'd been through this train of thought at least a hundred times in the past hour, and had come to the same conclusion each time; stay, and face the initiation.

She placed the tips of her fingers together, closed her eyes, and emptied her mind.

This time she lasted a full thirty seconds before getting to her bare feet and crossing the three and a half steps to the window, staring out at her surroundings. The room faced the outside of the Council, and thus she could see the early Spring landscape, the slightly windswept evergreens and the scattering of trees than had yet to grow their leaves. The snow was almost melted, with just the odd patch here and there sparkling in the weak early morning Sun. Boulders jutted here and there from the grass and heather and thus every element was represented. Linnet almost smiled at the thought, but was interrupted by a knock at the door, It wasn't loud, but her whole body flinched and she gasped audibly.

Crossing the room on shaking legs, she greeted the man who stood on the other side. He was one of the few Madin acolytes, appearing about fifty years of age but in reality approaching 200, so dedicated to his element that he chose to live here and spend his life tending the shrine. "Is it time?" she asked, her voice sounding pathetically young. He nodded, a kind smile crossing his features, and turned to lead her to the shrine.

No going back now. Taking a deep breath (and ignoring the feeling that she was on her way to her own execution), Linnet followed, the stone floor cold to her naked feet.

Compared to many of the other shrines around the courtyard at Inverness, the shrine of earth was quite a squat and plain affair, at least from the outside.  Sprawling only on one level, it looked much less refined and mysterious than the towering structures that housed the shrines of Air and Ice.  Demeter didn't mind any of that though. It didn't matter what others thought of her shrine, it was so homely and welcoming.  Sure, there was plenty to be done that could make it more so, and in the fullness of time once the new harbinger had settled into her role she would consider approaching the acolytes about implementing some of these changes. For now though, she was quite content to sit in the inner courtyard meditating in the comforting presence of the ancient oak that was the living embodiment of her element.

Demeter sensed the approach of the acolyte and her newest initiate-to-be as soon as the stepped into the building.  Without moving from the spot where she was sat crosslegged, she called out.  "Coo-eee I'm through here. Come on in."  Her voice was warm and inviting - she didn't want to make this ceremony any more daunting for the young elemental. "No, not you Manuel, give Linnet her space." Throughout her life Demeter had spent her fair share of time in and around the shrine of earth, during which she had plenty of opportunities to get know all of the acolytes.  Manuel had been a fixture in the shrine since her very first visit and as such it was fairly easy to pick out his aura from the next room. As for the other madin elemental she sensed, Demeter would have to admit that she wasn't actually able to identify Linnet merely by gut instinct just yet, but she was the only Discipula Madin around Inverness at the moment so it was a fair bet and the harbinger wanted her to feel welcome.

It was only for ceremonies that Demeter would bother to wear official council dress, and she found the harbinger robes and regalia unnecessarily grand.  For some reason her element had chosen her to serve as its mouthpiece in the Grey Council. That didn't make her better than any other witch or wizard in the council, however great an honour it was. So why should she have to dress up in the heavy and restrictive bejewelled outfits just to be kowtowed to or otherwise tiptoed around? Tradition? That was just silly. So today, in the seclusion of her shrine where her word was lore, Demeter was dressed no more fancily than an acolyte - just a simple and practical robe in madin green.  In front of where she sat, on a surprisingly comfortable mass of roots was a small tray on which lay a dagger, a disc of wood from the great oak before them, and a bowl of sweeties.

Once Linnet crossed the threshold into the courtyard, Demeter opened her eyes and got to her feet.  She turned to greet the young woman and smiled reassuringly as she crossed to meet her.  "Good morning Linnet, how are you feeling?"  she put her arm around the girl's shoulders, thankful that the child was as diminutive as she was, and guided her back to a mossy cushion across the tray from where she had been sitting before. As they walked the harbinger spoke amiably, trying to put her initiate at ease. "You don't have to worry about today, you know.  I remember my initiation - I was so anxious about screwing it up I studied for weeks and weeks.  And I really didn't need to, there's nothing difficult here and no pressure.  I'm here to help and guide you through the initiation. I'm not trying to trick you or test you in any way - if you forget any of the words to the pledge or need any other help just ask. We're all friends here in the earth shrine." She smiled again at Linnet, then popped a chocolate covered fudge in her mouth then rattled the bowl towards Linnet. "Have a chocolate. Would you like some tea, by the way? It must have brewed by now."

Everything's going to be fine. Everything's going to be fine. Everything's going to be fine...

Linnet matched the words to her own footsteps, trying to ignore how hard her heart was pounding. It would be better once she got to the shrine, waiting was always the worst part of anything, she reminded herself. Look how scared she'd been before transferring to Beauxbatons, and that had turned out fine. Better than fine, because she'd met Professor Dumars and she'd recognised Linnet as an elemental, and look at everything that had happened since then. Well okay, maybe that wasn't the best example. But it was going to be fine, and in a few hours she could relax and wonder what she'd been so worried about. Maybe even less than a few hours. How long did an initiation take, anyway? Maybe something would go wrong and it would take days and...

They were there, and that didn't sound like a Harbinger about to conduct a sacred and serious ritual. It sounded like...your favourite aunt calling you in for dinner! Linnet felt her lips twitching into something approaching a smile, and she forced her face to remain serious. This wasn't the time to be thinking of things like that! The acolyte stepped back as they reached the threshold of the shrine, leaving Linnet to go forward alone.

I can do this. I can do this. I can...

She'd been here dozens of times before. Sometimes alone, sometimes with one of the zealots to be taught how better to control their element, and sometimes with Kyle. That thought almost brought a blush to her cheeks, and she stopped herself from thinking any more in case she dared to wish he was there to hold her hand. Her eyes darted around the shrine, taking in the familiar oak, the woman sitting on its roots, and the tray which held...oh, help.

Before she could think about panicking the Harbinger was standing, crossing the distance between them. Linnet expected a formal greeting, as if she'd somehow imagined the cheery call moments earlier, but no. And suddenly she thought maybe things would be alright after all, that she would be helped through this.

"Horrible. I just know I'm going to get the pledge wrong or screw up or...cry...or..." she was twirling a strand of hair in her fingers and guided it to her mouth without thinking, the old childish habit returning with her nerves. She realised what she was doing and quickly brushed it away as Ms Grey's arm went around her shoulders, guiding her over to the heart of the shrine. Was it possible that this woman really understood how scary this was? that she remembered what it was like to be this young and inexperienced? Linnet nodded, still not allowing herself to smile, though the offer of a chocolate was too much to refuse. She popped one into her mouth and bit down on the creamy caramel centre.

"Yes, please. Um...is tea a normal part of the initiation?" she asked, hating to think her nerves or late discovery had marked her out for special treatment.

Demeter looked at her discipula sympathetically as she let out her fears. She did her best to reassure the young girl that it would all be okay and there was no shame or problem in needing help. It was upsetting to see Linnet so tense and worried about the upcoming initiation, but also hugely gratifying that she felt comfortable enough with Demeter to share her worries. Demeter in turn thought it only fair to share hers, hopefully it would help set her at ease.  "I know exactly how you feel. I really do. I assume you were in school during my investiture as harbinger, but that brought back all the worries and fears I felt when I was first initiated myself.  Look at it this way - at least you only have to deal with one element for this rite, and one that you have a natural affinity with.  I had to show I can hold my own against every element. It was terrifying.  I kept thinking that I was going to fail, that the council would realise there had been some mistake and I wasn't harbinger material after all."  She dropped a voice a little, and admitted some of her secret inner feelings. "Sometimes I still hope it is all some big mistake. People have started treating me differently since I became harbinger, in awe of the office or something. I don't want that at all.  I'm still just little old Demeter Gray, and I want everyone just to treat me the same as ever.  It makes me so happy that you feel able to be up front about your feelings and fears with me. It gives me hope that I can actually lead the Madins, and if only for that reason you can be sure that I'll get you through this initialisation as painlessly as possible." She shared an empathetic and vulnerable smile, her eyes clearly showing that all the doubts she professed to were spoken from the heart.  It only lasted a few moments though, before she perked up again.

"Tea is a normal and extremely important part of anything I do, dear." She muttered an incantation and a study looking vine sprouted from the ground just in front of Demeter and started to snake its way out of the main chamber into a cloister out of sight. "If anyone haughty from the Typh or Garth shrines asks, we tell them its a symbol of our element - a way of honouring the lifegiving nature of the earth, venerating the plants that yield the leaves to make this brew."  The end of the vine reappeared, some side shoots having branched out of the end. One was wrapped tightly around the handle to an glazed earthenware teapot, one a milk jug, two had a couple of cups on them and the final branch was looped through the two opposing handles and the sugar bowl. The vine was drawing itself back into the ground as its cargo was held aloft and drifted steadily towards them. Whilst it travelled she continued to talk. "And just as the tea plant's leaves give us tea, sugarcane stems give us sugar and cacao seed pods give us chocolate. And there's some root ginger in some of the biscuits. This tea ritual celebrates the wonders that are possible of the earth." She grinned conspiratorially. "Really though, I just think a nice cup of tea makes everything that little bit more tolerable.  And as harbinger, my word is lore within these walls.

"If it makes you uncomfortable we can skip the tea and move straight on, if that's what you'd prefer. The first thing on the agenda is a little bit of meditation and connecting with the earth.  Just take your time, relax and let go of all your worries." She leaned in across the tray that sat between them and stage-whispered jovially. "This is where I find the tea and chocolates help the most".

I can do this. I can do this.

As she listened to the Harbinger talk of her own fears, Linnet felt herself begin to relax. It was so imperceptible at first she hardly realised it was happening, but the tension in her muscles she hadn't even realised was there started to dissipate, and her shoulders relaxed slightly. She still felt apprehensive, worried for what was to come, but it was a realistic fear now, something that she felt she would be able to deal with. She had been at school for the investiture of course, probably uninitiated discipuli weren't invited to such events in case it scared the heck out of them, she thought with a slight twitch of her lips. Just hearing about it sounded frightening enough, but to stand against all the other elements - people you knew, had been friends with for years - must have been horrible.

I can do this. For her if not for me.

Because in that moment Linnet decided she was going to be fine. If Ms Grey had been through her own trials and survived unscathed (or so it seemed to Linnet) and even now had her own doubts, surely the sixth year could do the same. "But...who else would they have chosen?" Linnet asked before she could think better of it, astonished to hear someone so important having doubts. Still ignorant of many council ways she assumed some sort of voting process picked the new Harbingers rather than prophecy. There was no question of treating the woman any differently though. Linnet treated all the Zealots as if they were professors to be respected, and wasn't yet capable of daring to think any of them might want to be friends with someone who had only come of age a couple of months previously. So she would behave towards Ms Grey as she always had, on the few times they had met prior to this occasion.

But then her mind honed in on something and the panic started to rise again. I'll get you through this initialisation as painlessly as possible. As if having a rune implanted under her flesh was ever going to be painless. Linnet had actually researched which areas of the body had the least nerves while she was deciding where her rune should be before realising every adult elemental had already been through this and survived. But now she started to panic again, her eyes fixing on the vines that began to sprout and snake across the chamber. Were they going to grab her and hold her down? She began to tense again, her body ready to run or fight without her even giving it conscious thought. And then...

"No. No, I'd like the tea" she said, a little louder than she'd intended. I'm not putting it off. Not really. Linnet told herself, seating herself cross legged on the ground and trying to make herself relax. "I was trying to mediate earlier but...it didn't work. Not like it does normally" she admitted, hoping she hadn't said the wrong thing. What if she couldn't manage it now? Once the tea was poured she held her cup in both hands, closing her eyes and trying to connect with the earth, oblivious to the small shoots of grass that sprung up either side of her and leaned in close.

"Don't worry about earlier," Demeter offered warmly. "Meditating in times of stress and anxiety is the most difficult of all.  When you shut out the rest of the world, all of your innermost fears have your full attention. It's perfectly normal." Demeter reassured her student as she absentmindedly heaped teaspoon after teaspoon after teaspoon of sugar into her teacup and stirred it gently. "Just take a few moments. Close your eyes, yes, like that.  Now, sup on your tea." Demeter wanted to help guide Linnet into a meditative trance, but didn't want her to feel patronised so she focussed on the tea, which, judging from her reaction before, she hadn't tried as a meditative aid before.

Her voice was warm and soothing, to match the hot beverage she had provided. "Concentrate on the feel of the liquid in your mouth, how silky and soothing it feels as you swallow. Now notice the flavours.  Picture the tips of the tea leaves that went into to making these flavours. See them in your minds eye. It doesn't matter if you don't know what a tea plant looks like, just use your imagination." Demeter didn't want Linnet to get hung up on the fact that she might not be picturing the right species of plant. "Let yourself see the rest of the leaves. See the stems they grow from, and the stalks those stems themselves sprout from." She took another sip of her own tea, giving Linnet a chance to perform these visualisations. She smiled to herself on noticing the girl's own personal little lawn. She was at least connected to her element even if she couldn't feel it. Demeter slowed and softened her words further to make it all the more relaxing.  "Follow these stalks down into their roots in the soil, into the earth where all life sprouts from. Let your mind expand to fill that earth. Feel the interconnectedness of it all. Let yourself be one with the earth."

Demeter trailed off, and took a moment to recenter herself. She had been meditating all morning, but the tea and chocolate had perked her up so she wanted to take the opportunity whilst Linnet relaxed to do so herself.  She performed the same visualisation as she had just guided the discipula through, making sure to put her teacup down on the tray before she relaxed to much.  She knew her own habits too well.  As she reached deeper into the meditation, she felt her extremities itching to sprout leaves. If she went any further into a trance she would become the tea plant she was picturing, but thought that Linnet might not appreciate the person that was supposed to be helping and guiding her through this ritual being replaced by a camellia, so she opened her eyes and as quietly as possible removed the waxed paper from a fudge and washed it down with some more of her tea. She gave Linnet as much time as she needed to lose herself in the meditation, and sat quietly until the girl's mind returned to the present moment.

"Very good. See, tea helps with everything."  She was still talking softly, wanting to preserve as much of the relaxation the girl had managed as was possible.  "Let us continue. It's time for the creed of the council. It's just a few words to show your commitment to our order, it's not a big deal. Don't worry if you mess up the Zhyadad, I'm not going to judge you on your pronunciation of a language that's been dead for thousands of years, and only really lives on because Harbingers Garth have ridiculously long memories.  I'll help you remember if you get stuck." Demeter got to her feet, and helped Linnet do the same before bending over to pick up the dagger that had been laying on the tray. "Before we do that though, this is for you." The harbinger held her hands out palm up between herself and her initiate, presenting the dagger. "I made it myself," she sounded reluctantly proud of her handiwork. "The blade is titanium, like my own - I find it keeps an edge better than the precious metals some of the other elements use. Much better for working with. Be careful though, it's sharp.  I probably should have made a scabbard for it. Must remember to do that later." She trailed off, her stream of thought meandering it way through the landscape of elemental traditions. "What was I saying?  Dagger. Yes. The handle is wood from my favourite tree at home, I trust you recognise the runes of the elements engraved in the hilt.  And you'll have to thank the demin acolytes for the emerald in the pommel. But yes, this is your personal dagger. It's the first one I've made. I hope you like it." Her rambling and scatterbrain delivery clearly showed that Demeter was nervous about the dagger, and really hoped that the young girl would find it acceptable. 

Once she'd given Linnet a chance to take and inspect the dagger, she guided the girl over the three that dominated the room. "While you recite the pledge, I'd like you to carve the runes of the elements into the bark of the tree.  If your mind goes blank for any reason, just remember they're on your dagger's hilt." She smiled encouragingly.  "If you'd like me to recite the pledge along with you, just say.  It has as much relevance to me now as it did when I was your age.  Whenever you're ready... Által Garth..." She muttered those last two words as a prompt to both herself and Linnet, desperately hoping now that she could recite the elemental pledge herself, having promised to help Linnet.

Concentrate on the tea...yes, she could do that. The tea leaves, the whole plant, the...sugar canes, she mentally added to herself as she took a sip and tasted the sweetness. Just how much sugar had Ms Grey added? Linnet wouldn't normally have added more than a spoonful herself, but on this occasion it had an unexpected bonus...the surprising sweetness helped her to relax. Her face relaxed into a genuine smile as she drank again, her mind reaching out to the words and embracing them as she felt herself becoming one with the earth. The tiny grasses responded delightedly.

Linnet didn't notice immediately that Ms Grey had stopped speaking. She continued with the meditation, drinking her tea until more than half the cup was gone, then slowly placing it down next to her on the grass... the grass? She felt a relaxed kind of surprise as she opened her eyes and saw the little stalks that definitely hadn't been there when she'd sat down. It didn't occur to the girl that she'd encouraged them to grow or they were there because of her. She just assumed that it was part of the ritual, something that Ms Grey had done. Even the next stage of the initiation, the pledge, didn't seem so daunting now, She could remember the first sentence, the bit that just recited the names of the different elements, and after that...well, like Ms Grey said, there was nobody else to hear if she messed up a bit. It was a pledge, not a spell. She wasn't going to fail if she said it a bit wrong.

Even the fear at the sight of the dagger lasted only fractions of a second, rising up and then seeming to vanish almost before it had made itself known. It wasn't something scary, it was...for her? Linnet had known about this part of the rite, but being presented with something so sacred and precious, so important, so...hers somehow made it real. The wandering speech went virtually unnoticed; or rather, the girl didn't see anything unusual in the vague train of thought. What she couldn't make herself do was reach out and take the dagger. It was hers, yes, but so beautiful and perfect and special that it somehow seemed too much. That somebody so powerful, who she barely knew, would take so much trouble over creating it...

But why was Ms Grey sounding...nervous? As if she was afraid Linnet might not like it? That was crazy! How could someone so experienced get scared when she was in charge and knew what was going to happen and had probably done a ton of these before. Well, okay, not actually made elemental daggers, but... oh. Linnet dared to look up, reaching out a finger to trace along the handle, not yet daring to believe it was hers.

"It's perfect..." she breathed, allowing her fingers and eyes to trace the shapes of the runes for a moment longer before she actually took the gift, turning it over and over in her hands and examining it from every angle. The demin acolytes had made the emerald...how was that possible? "Thank you" she said, completely inadequately, though the emotion in her voice made up for the lack of words. But now came the serious part. The runes - she could do that. Could practically carve them, write them, draw them in her sleep...but to do it to the tree seemed so cruel, even knowing what would come afterwards...

It's okay, tree. We can do this. We can do this she thought as she raised her dagger for the first time. Her voice sounded pathetically young as she began nervously, haltingly... "Által Garth ja Madin, Hor ja Demin,Typh ja Incin, minä omis...omistan... itseni alkuaine neuvostolle. Otan tämän..." she paused for breath, glancing at Ms Grey for reassurance "...  tämän pyhän lupauksen ja van... vannon vaalia ihanteita..." deep breath, carve the runes "... puolueettomuuden ja oppimista."

Having paused, Linnet felt a sudden sense of panic as she struggled to remember how the next bit began. It was the part about obeying the teachings of her element and the harbinger, but..? Oh, well. If in doubt, make it up. Her voice dropped as she mumbled the part she couldn't remember, and the rest came out in a relieved rush once she latched onto a word she could recall. "Alllll... hmmmm mmmm... eteenpäin minä tottelen opetuksia ja viisautta minun Harbinger, kunnes otan lopullisen matkaa ja morph osaksi nagy ismeretlen."  One final rune, and the most important part of the pledge; "Niin se on, niin kauan kuin tekijät pysyvät, ma Linnet Gwynedd Willowsong, tee minun pyhä lupaus."

Linnet looked up with a mixture of relief and hope. Had that been near enough to be acceptable?

Demeter sagged with relief when Linnet managed to find some words and gave her judgement of her new dagger.  The harbinger was quietly proud of her work - she didn't think she could have done better (and the four abandoned attempts at blades that had been discarded on her workbench due to almost imperceptible flaws attested to this) but an elemental's dagger is such a personal item and it was so very welcome to hear that it's new owner was happy with it. Linnet's impassioned thanks for the gift made the older woman want to draw her into her arms and coddle her, but now was not the time to be getting broody over the little ones, so she made do with a gracious and friendly look.

As Linnet put the dagger to the bark of the shrine-tree, Demeter stood a little way back. She didn't want to crowd the girl, nor make her any more aware that she was being watched than she already was.  Reciting over a minute's worth of a rather exotic and arcane language was hard enough at the best of times. Zhyadad was barely taught among the elementals save for a few set texts such as the pledge. Demeter herself was slightly more conversant in it herself, since she'd been schooled in it from her acolyte years by those who knew her destiny, but she still found it a struggle. She really didn't want to be breathing down Linnet's neck and putting her off, so she kept her distance and mouthed the words - which evidently she still knew from learning them by rote six and a half decades ago -  along with the girl that was speaking them in earnest for the first time.

Demeter's heart skipped a beat when Linnet hesitated and stumbled over her words  though.  Suddenly the pledge had vanished from the Harbingers own mind too, and she was glad Linnet was looking at the tree trying to remember herself whilst Demi groped around in her memory, grappling around for something to latch on to. She backtracked in her mind a bit, mumbling just audibly with the poor pronunciation that comes with haste "vanon valia ihantita pulu etomuden ja opimista...". She raised her voice a little louder (and with much better diction) so that Linnet could hear if she needed "Alates sellest päevast etee...". Thankfully though, the discipula had picked up her the trail of words again, and Demeter quieted herself so as not to put the poor girl off.

By the time Linnet looked up, Demeter was beaming with pride. Before the other girl got a chance to speak, she congratulated her. "Well done!  Even after sixty something years, I still can't wrap my mouth around pouloueettomemuuden or however you say it.  Very well done indeed!" She fished around in the pockets of her robes and found one of the sweets she had sequestered from the bowl for later, and brandished it towards Linnet. "A soft caramel for a job well done? More tea? No, we should probably just carry on, shouldn't we. What's next?"  Consulting her mental checklist, Demeter realised it was the most unpleasant part of the ritual, but in many ways the most important and profound.  Her face lost it's reassuring smile in thought for just a second before she plastered it back on.  "Time to put that dagger through its paces a little more I think." She turned around and beckoned Linnet to come sit at their tea set again.

"Ah.  I forgot the other tray." She raised her voice. "Manuel? Manueeel?" It was barely a few seconds before the acolyte appeared in the doorway.  "There's another tray of materials for the initiation on my workbench. Be a dear and fetch it for me please? Thank you." She turned to Linnet whilst they waited for Acolyte Santiago to return. "Who'd have ever thought I'd have an attendant. It's so odd.  I really do hate having him do things for me, but I'm sure he won't mind a bit of light fetching." The attendant returned with a tray containing a particularly fine, but blank runestone ready for carving, a book shaped mound under a cloth, a pestle and mortar and a cup of boiling water. Also on the tray were a few sprigs of a slightly waxy looking shrub with elongated leaves, the twigs replete with red berries that mirrored the shape of the foliage. "Thank you so much. If you'd like some tea, there's some left in the pot."  She smiled gratefully at the retreating man, who was out the door before she could even offer him a biscuit once it became clear she required no more of him right now.

"There's no need to be apprehensive about the next bit, Linnet.  Thousands of elementals have been through it, though I'm sure the little tricks of our element make it most pleasant for us." She had that conspiratorial glint in her eye again, confiding Madin secrets in her young initiate.  "If you could carve the Madin sigil into this runestone with your shiny new dagger, I'll just be a couple of minutes with these leaves."

I can do this. Linnet looked round and saw  the expression on the Harbinger's face. Her heart leapt.

I CAN DO THIS!

She actually giggled at Ms Grey's words, tried and failed to compose her face into a calm expression and failed, and then quickly accepted the caramel before the woman could take it away again. "Half for now, half for later?" she suggested with a grin, though she still dropped it into her own pocket rather than waste time eating the sweet treat. Linnet knew full well what was coming, and she wanted to get it over with. Accepting the caramel had been as much about her own state of mind as because she really wanted it just then. Now she actually had something, however small, actually in her possession, she had something to promise herself once this part was over with. A reward. The mention of the dagger made her heart beat a little faster, but she was being silly now, of course. Linnet had asked fellow elementals about their own initiations and, while they hadn't told her more than the basics (she assumed there was some sort of unspoken rule against gossiping about something so sacred), she knew that her own dagger would be needed in a moment for an entirely different task.

This whole initiation did feel a little like an examination in which the professor came in and chatted about the questions. Linnet was almost relaxed, comfortable about everything that was happening and feeling as if this was something that happened every day of her life. She followed Ms Grey across the shrine and sat down again, settling herself comfortable in her little patch of grass. She even smiled at the acolyte when he brought the tray back, and studied its contents with interest. Her eyes widened slightly at the sight of the branches of the shrub. Linnet was sure she recognised those leaves...

And it was going to be fine. She took the runestone in her hands, laying her dagger gently in her lap as she turned the blank disc over and over, examining it, trying to experience its essence. Although it was separate from the world, it was still a part of everything. The girl recalled her lessons and training as she visualised the runestone as being a part of herself as she picked up her dagger again and placed the point to the face of the disc. Only then did she hesitate. What if she carved the rune badly, overshot one of the lines of the sigil or didn't make them perfectly straight?

It wasn't going to happen. Linnet took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and trusted herself and the element. She traced the sigil gently, then deep enough that it would leave a mark, and finally carved it fully into the runestone. Only then did she open her eyes and look down. The markings were better than anything she had done before, even when she'd been practising or writing the sigil with her quill on a spare scrap of parchment. It was going to be okay, she told herself once again.

"I'm ready." Linnet stretched out her wand arm, palm uppermost; her forearm bare.

Linnet seemed so much more at ease now than when she had first entered the shrine, and Demeter's heart was warmed immensely by this.  She took it as an endorsement of her approach to mentoring, and to her leadership of the element.  This was one of the most important rites an elemental would go through in their life - it was potentially very scary, involving rambling in a dead language and bodily mutilation - but here Linnet was grinning at her.  Demi couldn't help but return the grin, with a motherly affection and pride to boot. The girl seemed to be adapting well to her casual and open style too, which was a great relief for the harbinger.  Her predecessor had never been overly formal - he was on the whole friendly and encouraging to those he was training personally - but he was certainly much more solemn when discharging his role as harbinger. Demeter couldn't be having with any of that nonsense. The cosmos knew what it was getting when it made her harbinger, and she'd be damned if she was going to play act her way through the role. Linnet's progress through this rite - both academically and emotionally - was a beacon of hope for Demeter and the joy this brought her must have shone through in her face and body language.

It was, therefore, inconspicuous when Demeter smiled to herself at Linnet's reaction to the coca plant. Certain uses of it could well have widened the initiate's eyes even more dramatically, and she couldn't help but wonder how a teenage girl was familiar with the shrug. Looking at her warmly, but with an appraising air in her eye, Demeter quickly came to the conclusion that Linnet didn't seem like the type to indulge in illicit drugs. Of that Demi was quite sure. It must simply be research. The girl certainly seemed to be well prepared for the initiation despite her misgivings, so Demeter chalked it up to a very diligent studiousness on Linnet's part. 

Demeter busied herself with stripping the leaves from the twigs on the tray. She shredded the leaves into chunks not much larger thank a knut, dropping them into the mortar.  Once she had sufficient plant matter, the woman proceeded to gently crush it with the pestle - using the club to caress it firmly against the bowl rather than pummelling it as she may otherwise have done (she didn't want to disturb Linnet's concentration).  Adding the water dropwise, she continued to mix the leaves into a thick paste and then looked up at her charge. Linnet was in the middle of carving, so she waited a few seconds until the girl's dagger wasn't in contact with the stone in case she was startled and slipped.  Once given the opportunity, Demeter made motions with her hands over the salve in the bowl and muttered 'Madin'. In this case, omitting the specifics of the spell seemed prudent - the refining of potentially very potent drugs with a mere wave of the hand was certainly something not to be taught until adulthood! The salve glowed briefly with a light reminiscent of woodland, before becoming a clear, green-tinted gel.

While waiting for Linnet to put the finishing touches to her runestone, Demeter retrieved the book that was under the cloth, and flicked open to a random page full of text.  It was an anatomy reference, but Linnet didn't need to know that right now - it'd only spook her.  Demeter just wanted to be able to check the positions of blood vessels, tendons and the nervous system wherever the girl wanted the rune implanting. 

When Linnet indicated she was ready and presented her forearm, Demeter took her dagger and plunged the blade in the water (which was, somehow, still simmering) to sterilise it. Whilst the heat did its job, Demi retrieved the rune gently and reverently from Linnet's hand, and slowly moved it up her arm.  She held it just half an inch or so from the skin, coming to a rest two thirds of the way towards her elbow, on the outside edge (near the proximal end of the radius, she would later discover from her textbook). This was the fleshiest area on the lower arm she could find, and one of the only places where the rune would satisfactorily fit. "Here?" she asked, softly, and when Linnet confirmed it, she used her free hand to scoop a dollop of the coca gel and massaged it gently into the area for the implantation.  Despite the almost boiling water she had added to it just a minute or so ago, the gel was cool to the touch and tingled Demeter's fingertips. "This should prevent any discomfort from the cut or the rune," she assured Linnet, as her own fingers numbed. The massage action itself also helped to loosen any tension in the girls arm and open up the muscle fibres for easier implantation.

"Now, close your eyes and concentrate on your connection to the Earth." As soon as Linnet's eyelids touched, Demeter very quietly flipped to the appropriate page of her anatomy text and studied the pictures for a couple of seconds, still talking to keep the girl at peace.  "You shouldn't feel any pain thanks to the coca, but once the rune is in place you should sense it".  Let the power of madin flow through you, through your veins and energize your rune."  Demeter took the now-sterile dagger from the water in her right hand, holding Linnets wrist with a tender but firm grasp with her left.  The harbinger lined up the point of the dagger with the numbed area and, triple checking the diagrams to make sure she didn't do any damage, angled the blade for the best insertion.  She slid the dagger point first straight into the young girls flesh - it cut effortlessly - and made a slit into which she could take the rune.

Demeter could feel Linnet's pulse with the left hand, and it was as strong as ever. That was good. Likewise, the tendons in her wrist still felt appropriately taught, and coca or no, Demeter was sure Linnet would have let her know if she'd hit a nerve.  Everything was in order then. Demeter withdrew the dagger and placed it down, swapping it for the expertly carved rune. She took a moment to appreciate the work Linnet had done on it. It was almost a shame it would never see the light of day again, but Demi was pleased for the girl that such a crucial piece of work had turned out so well. She raised it to the pocket of flesh she had just opened up, and gently eased it into place.

Why wasn't she scared any more? There was a sort of vague acceptance, almost as if she was watching the ritual happen to somebody else. Like watching a film - she hadn't done that for years, but remembered the sense of getting totally involved with a story even though it was happening to someone else and wasn't real - she had the same feeling of detachment. But at the same time she had never felt more grounded and in the moment than right now. Once the runestone was finished she was surprised to see a bowlful of something clear and green. Considering what it must be made from, she had expected it to be slushy, olive brown and smell less...healthy. Like something that was going to dull your senses and make you think you were dreaming.

Ms Grey took the rune from her hand and she relinquished it willingly. It wasn't as if she was giving it away, just lending it for a few minutes. It was hers and always would be, and there was no fear of it getting lost. She nodded, knowing that she was acquiescing to the most important decision of her life so far and yet feeling as if words were unnecessary. She watched with fascination as the stuff from the bowl made her skin tingle with its coolness, and if anything she felt still more relaxed. It wasn't until after she'd closed her eyes that she remembered what was about to happen and while a part of her knew this was the only chance she'd ever have to watch, it felt more important to connect with the earth. She felt the ground beneath her, sensed it with every part of her that was touching the bare earth and the grass, allowed her mind to flow downwards, past the roots of the tree that entwined through the soil. Thick and strong close to the tree, growing more and more slender as the trailed outwards until the furthest and deepest were no more than delicate beige threads.

Further and deeper, until the threads reached the limit of their reach and all that was there was the cool, comforting earth. She'd never gone this far before, nor as successfully - it seemed as if she wasn't merely visualising the Earth but was truly a part of it, that she was actually exploring her own roots. It would be so easy to stay down here forever, staring up at the roots...but she floated deeper, further within until...

That's not mine

There was a changing, a firmness; more, an unyielding quality that the earth never had, and instinctively Linnet knew she could go no further. She didn't need to know that beneath the earth, if one dug deep enough, there was the bedrock upon which everything lay. That was a science beyond her need to know; it was enough to understand that it felt friendly but not something she was truly a part of. She touched the stone for a moment longer before retreating, thankful that she knew something more, that no matter how deep she explored, there would always be a point from which she would return. The roots pulled her back, wrapping around her wand arm and lifting her back to the light. More than that, the roots were part of her, snaking up and down from within her,centred around a point partway down her forearm.

Slowly, her eyes opened and the source of the roots, the earth, the energy, was immediately apparent. The sight of her own blood didn't frighten or even surprise her. There was far less than she had imagined there might be, and it didn't hurt. It...tingled. Tingled with energy. Linnet realised she was smiling and had been for some time, unaware that tears were coursing down her cheeks along with her joy. A drop of blood fell to the earth and landed on the grass, lusher and greener by far than it had been minutes - hours- centuries earlier when she had closed her eyes and connected with the earth. It seemed right that she should give something back.

"I can feel it" she whispered,unaware that she had spoken.

Compared to the girl full of nerves that had entered the courtyard less than half an hour before, the figure before her now struck Demeter as a confident young woman.  Subtle clues such as the lushness of her moss cushion and the carpet of grass encircling not only Linnet but now Demeter too proved to the Harbinger that the implantation had taken well and that the discipula had a good deal of power in her. Linnet's connection to the earth had clearly had a profound effect on her, the serene smile that had appeared on her face as the rune went in becoming more and more unbridled and Demeter began to grin too. 

When she saw a tear creep down the young girls cheek, Demeter was reminded of just how intense the feeling of connection and belongingness that came from the initiation was.  Demi had never wanted for those things as a child, nor had she really struggled with her difference from her peers since she had been discovered by an elemental at a young age.  She knew though, that Linnet had been discovered fairly late, and wondered whether finally being irrevocably connected to both her element and the council was overwhelming the poor youngling. It was a significant moment either way, and Demeter's own eyes started to well up a little at the effect it seemed to be having on Linnet.  The distance she had come in her few short years of training was a fantastic achievement and it was a pity Iuliana couldn't be here to share in the celebration.

"I can tell."  Demeter beamed at her charge through her misty eyes, and gave her a few moments to get used to the feeling before proceeding.   When she judged Linnet ready, she continued.  "Now, we just need to make sure that the rune is doing its job properly. Don't worry if it isn't - it'll just needs some time to imbue itself with your energy - but I would imagine it should be good to go now.  If there are any spells you're particularly comfortable with that you want to try out, to get a feel for spell casting without additional runes before the final step of the rite, give them a go now." 

Demeter busied herself with tidying the trays in front of her - neatly piling up the stripped coca stems, arranging the tea tray neatly (and tucking into another chewy caramel, whilst she worked) - to allow Linnet some time to practice and gather her confidence without the eager and watchful eye of her harbinger judging her every move.  Demi of course would never have judged the girl, but equally she knew that her position created respect and trepidation in what were technically her subordinates and she was sensitive to that.  Only once she felt Linnet calm and confident did she look up at the girl.  "Shall we get this last bit over with then?" 

Demeter pushed herself to her feet in a slightly ungainly fashion, and lead the initiate back over to the great Oak tree at the center of the shrine. She started to speak, in a somewhat uncharacteristic manner as she recited the final part of the ritual by rote. "Our order is an ancient and noble one. Throughout the millenia, many have envied our power and tried to take it for themselves.  As such, the council of harbingers decided a great many years ago that we keep our existence a secret.  Now you are one of us, your discretion is paramount. So, insert na... Discipula Willowsong, it falls to you demonstrate your understanding of our magics and our lore." Demeter sagged and pulled a face at the pompous and stuffy wording of the rite.  Her chipper and conspiratorial voice reasserted itself quickly. "And there was I thinking the Ice elementals were supposed to be artistic and poetic. You'd never know from some of these scriptures." She paused briefly before remembering what was supposed to be happening.  "You can heal the tree now, dear."

[[ooc: sorry its so short and crap, but I wanted to give you something and properly finish this thread soon. Go easy on me, I havent written in over a month, although it feels way longer than that.]]

Oh. Yes, that was the whole purpose of this ritual. To allow her to cast elemental spells without using runes - or rather, using the rune that was now a part of her. Linnet had read about this, studied it in as much depth as was allowed for one of her rank, but she knew from experience that there was a world of difference between theory and practise. Even as relaxed as she was feeling, the girl was nervous about the final part of her initiation. If she and the rune hadn't fully bonded yet and nothing happened, would she be allowed to use an external rune, or did they have to stay here until she cast successfully?

There was only one way to find out. Linnet stirred herself, sitting up straighter and noticing for the first time the lawn that surrounded her. She'd known it was there, known where it had come from, but until now she hadn't registered the fact that it had grown as a result of her own connection with the earth. "Okay..." she muttered quietly, running a finger carefully over the place where the newly-implanted rune lay beneath her skin as if she could let it know what was going to happen. Then she cast MADIN MAXIMA, just over a few blades of grass she was touching to find out if she could do it.

Nothing happened at first, and she felt her heart sink, phrases like I knew I wouldn't be able to do it and Ms Grey's going to be so disappointed with me rushing through her mind. She looked up, her face trying not to betray her concern. "Can I just..." then she reached across for another chocolate, letting the flavour flood into her mouth and concentrating all her sense on it. Before the taste could lessen she cast MADIN MAXIMA again, this time not thinking about whether or not she could do it, just casting because that was the right thing to do... and the grass responded. Those little blades grew and reached upwards, and she lifted her hand, watching them seem to follow her and lengthen as they did. When eight or nine grasses were almost a foot high she stopped, unaware of the delighted expression on her face.

"I think I'm ready."

She got to her feet with far more elegance; unsurprising given that she was half a dozen decades younger than the Harbinger, and followed Demeter back over to the tree. Almost without thinking she placed her hand on it's trunk, silently greeting it before pulling her hand away, remembering there were more of the ritualistic words to come. She stood perfectly still, head bowed until Ms Grey almost got the words wrong and Linnet had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop the smile from spreading across her face. It wasn't until the older woman spoke in her usual voice that Linnet dared to look up, and grin. Then she placed her hands back onto the venerable Oak, concentrating on the runes she had carved earlier. They were a part of the shrine now, as were the runes carved by every other Madin Discipulus for as long as the shrine had been in Inverness, but they no longer needed to be visible. Wounds healed, but there would always be scars, even when they could no longer be seen.

She didn't question what she was doing. It didn't matter that she hadn't studied the specific nuances of healing a mature tree; because she knew what the end result would be. Her runes would be there, but within the Oak, just as her own rune couldn't be seen but was now a part of her. When she finally took her hand away from the tree, all that could be seen of her carving were a few faint lines in the bark, and she knew even those would be gone before the day was out. Unlike her own arm, she thought as she glanced down; that would bear the scar for as long as she lived. Far from bothering her, the thought made her proud. More than any number of OWLs, today it felt as if she had truly proved she was a true witch, albeit an unusual one.

Now the healing was finished though, she felt tired. Really, really tired, as if she needed curl up and sleep for the rest of the day. " I think... I... I think I'm done now" she said, her voice betraying how inexplicably drained she felt now.

Having performed her initiation rite with her, Demeter felt a more profound connection with Linnet than she would have expected.  It was the first rite she had given to someone that hadn't always been her own student. She'd always assumed the closeness she felt with a student after inducting them into the council was just one of pride and the culmination of their journey together so far.  But even before Linnet had completed the final step that would prove her commitment to council teachings, Demeter was having to fight back tears of joy and pride in her accomplishment. The girl's embracing of the shrine's venerated Oak, the tenderness with which she touched it - that touched Demeter deeply.  Maybe it was that she was more connected to the Oak itself now that she was harbinger, but she couldn't shake the feeling that her spirit was somehow entwined with Linnet.

Demeter looked on as Linnet made contact with the tree, willing her every success in her spellcasting. She watched as the tree's bark swelled, closing the gaps.  A smile grew on her face as the incisions zipped themselves up, healing the rift in the tree and merging into the cracked pattern on the bark.  When Linnet stepped back announcing that she'd finished, Demeter moved forward to take her place and inspect her work. She could still make out the form of the runes in the pattern, but only if she really stared hard and trying to do so was making her go a bit cross-eyed. She turned around beaming.  "Yes my child. That will do nicely." Swept up in the moment, she grabbed Linnet and pulled her into a hug. "Welcome home."

The ritual had clearly been incredibly tiring for Linnet.  Getting used to casting spells without any external runes was a steep learning curve. Demeter had been doing it for many decades but it still could make her need a nap.  Looking at Linnet, she felt sorry for the girl. "Linnet, dear, you look shattered. Shall I see you back to your lodgings?" She ushered the girl along, whilst explaining that the exhaustion was normal, but would get better with practice.  "It's from now on that morphing becomes more and more important.  That's where you get your strength from - when you are one with the earth."  They reached the guest quarters and Demeter ushered them into the the fairly bare room.  It was of course made a bit more homely by the inclusion of fresh cut flowers and pot-plants - and being surrounded by nature would hopefully help Linnet recover quicker.  "To regain your strength, really you'll need to spend some time morphed. Sleep will help a bit, but don't be surprised if you wake up and still feel just as exhausted.  Once you've got a bit of rest, if you want to find me to lead you in a morph then feel free." She started actually turning down the bed for Linnet - loosening the sheets and duvet, fluffing up the pillows. "Now, you get some sleep, and when you wake up, you'll be doing so as a fully fledged member of our order."  She smiled, leaned in ever so slightly, her hand moving to brush the hair off Linnet's forehead before kissing it, but caught herself soon enough that she didn't embarrass the young woman. Instead, she just smiled, and saw herself out, leaving Linnet to rest in peace.

Now that she wasn't connected with the tree, Linnet felt drained. It wasn't just a sense of being tired; she was willing herself to stay on her feet and not sway, not because she was afraid that would show her up as not being a true elemental, but because if she did, she thought she might simply keel over and sleep where she fell. She clenched one hand into a fist, rubbing the tips of her fingers on the palm of her hand, counting each touch as a way of trying to bring herself back to reality as Ms Gray inspected the tree. When the woman turned and smiled Linnet smiled too, but it was a tired smile, and though it was reflected in her eyes it showed everything of how she was feeling.

So she didn't protest the unexpected hug. Even though it felt natural, like being welcomed for Christmas by a favourite Aunt you hadn't seen since the summer, she wouldn't have pulled away if she'd wanted to. It was just easier to have somebody to lean on, just for a minute. Then she reminded herself that this was the Harbinger of her element and it surely wasn't the done thing to fall asleep on her shoulder, any more than you'd doze off in Professor McGonagall's office and dribble on her robes. The thought made her lips twitch and she made an effort to stand straighter. When the woman offered to take her back to her quarters she didn't speak but simply nodded gratefully and allowed herself to be led.

Linnet didn't even allow herself to worry about morphing. It wasn't something she'd tried yet; she knew that was a bit unusual for elementals her age, but she had been discovered late, and she supposed it wouldn't really matter. Maybe she could try later...

It was a good thing her feet were already bare, because she wouldn't have thought to take her boots off before she fell into bed, her eyes already closing. She should say goodbye to Ms Gray, thank her, say that yes, she would like to morph later (because after the initiation she was sure that nothing was as scary as she might imagine and if she couldn't find her way back to human form herself then who better than the Harbinger to help her), but somehow she couldn't find the words. Her lips started to say thank you, but the newest Madin initiate was asleep before she could finish the thought.