[shoreditch] never knew what love could feel like... [jane]

until I walked away the first time.

This was going to be hard. Maybe even the hardest thing he had ever done but Darren was resolute in the fact that he had no other option. He had no idea what was next for him and he couldn't bring her down with him. She was his light in the darkness, his perfect little rebel, but everything in his life burned eventually, even love. He never really thought he deserved it anyway, so it wasn't liek this came as a surprise to the dark wizard. He paced back and forthing, waiting for her to come home from work as he smoked cigarette after cigarette. He felt bad because he knew this was going to be unexpected.

Over the last few weeks he had pulled away a little at a time but this was the final break, the final cut that would severe them for the unforeseeable future. Ever since he had been marked by Grisha he had a feeling it would come to this and he decided to rip the bandage off sooner rather than later. He couldn't train for the league and have a connection to an Auror, let alone a weakness as great as love. He'd packed a bag and it was sitting on top of the couch next to the over flowing ash tray. He puffed away as he waited for her to arrive, it was getting darker, it was supposed to storm tonight and he thought that was an apt description of what was about to happen.

@Jane Lennon

Things were actually going pretty well. Jane smiled to herself as she walked along the last stretch of sidewalk that lead to the apartment that she and Darren shared. Ryan had only just recently moved out, and... she actually found that she had missed the little shit. It didn't help at all that Darren had been acting weird. She hoped that everything was alright. Ursula, a woman that she shared a lunch break with, seemed to think that he might be getting ready to pop the question. Marriage didn't sound so bad, but Jane knew how Darren was. That couldn't be it. Could it?

Well, hopefully he would let the cat out of the bag sooner rather than later. An anxiety began to build in the pit of her stomach as she began to overthink things again. No. Things were going well. She didn't have anything to worry about. They were the perfect couple. Except, of course, that he was a small-time criminal and she was an auror. But, his family loved her. She loved all of them. They were living together for Merlin's sake.

Stepping into the apartment, Jane noticed Darren's body language and the overflowing ashtray. There was a bag on the couch. She felt as if her stomach had dropped to her knees as she closed the door behind her and shrugged her purse off of her shoulder, setting it on the floor.

"...Hey, baby.." She looked confused and worried. "How's it going?"

He heard the door open and quickly he put the lid on the small box he had hidden behind his bag and turned toward her. He noted the way her face seemed to change as she took in the setting. The sound of her purse hitting the ground worried him but he had to go through with this. There was no backing out now.

"Jane look..." He started, moving toward her but the box on the sofa began to shake and he quickly back stepped. A long arm stretched behind him as he held it shut, hoping it would stay quiet for long enough for him to get through the next few sentences. "Things are changing for me, and where I'm going I can't take you with me." He cared for her, she had to know that by now, and that was why this had to happen. Sure distance wise he wasn't going all that far but he couldn't ask her to go down the rabbits hole with him.

She was a good witch, Order of the Phoenix and all of that and Darren was anything but. They strange relationship had worked for a while, longer than he had ever thought it really would. "I can't put you in danger like that Jane.... I think we should take a break."

But really he meant break up. Darren wasn't usually the type to beat around the bush, especially not for the sole purpose of sparing another's feelings but Jane was a different case entirely. She always had been. That was what made this so damn hard.

Jane's expression quickly shifted from confusion and worry to absolute heartbreak. A break? And, stupid her. She had thought that things had been going so well. She had thought that maybe he was going to ask her to marry him. And now this? She felt as if someone had just kicked her in the stomach.

"You're breaking up with me?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest. "Just say it, Darren. I think that you at least owe me that."

How dare he? After everything that they had gone through together. Finally, she had trusted him. Finally, she had given him a chance to prove that he wasn't just going to use her. And what had he gone and done? He had fucking used her. Lied to her. She could have gone to Azkaban for protecting him, and this was the thanks that she got?

"Why? Who is she?" Could that be the reason? Darren had always been a bit of a skirt-chaser. But, deep down, Jane had felt that she was the one who could change him. She was his best friend. She had thought that they had always told each other everything. Apparently not.

She needed a fucking cigarette. Picking up her purse again, she fished through it for her pack and put a cigarette between her lips before dropping the bag once more. Who did he think that he was anyway?

She was right, he did owe her that much and a whole lot more. If it hadn't been for her he probably would of slid down much further into the darkness by now. With everything they had been through she had always kept him upright, kept him from becoming the vengeful sociopath he was born to be and now he was just going to throw all of that aside. It didn't seem right, but he was dead set on doing it regardless. He shuffled a little where he was standing and pulled the pack of smokes out of his pocket, using the tip of his wand to light it one handed while the other still casually tried to keep the shaking box at bay.

"There is no other girl babe," He said, almost like he still had the right to call her that. "You got my word on that yeah." He moved around the end of the couch and picked up the box to bring it to her. It was a sick ploy, a pathetic one really, but Darren liked to use anything and everything he had to his advantage. He knew she would be lonely, or at least the self centered wizard assumed she would be, so he had tried to get her something to help with that. He knew she'd hate him for doing it but in a way he felt like that was how their relationship was supposed to go.

"I just need time to do some things and you can't be a part of them." He said as he brought the box a few steps closer to her and knocked the lid onto the floor. As the top fell two small paws gripped at the rim of the box and a tiny fluffy little head lifted itself up. Big black eyes looked at Jane and a muffled "ruff" escaped its lips as its body began to shake, the pure force of its little tail swaying its entire body. Yes he had bought her a puppy to try to calm the storm that was about to happen and no he was not even a little ashamed of it.

Babe? He thought that he could still call her that, after this? Jane glared at him. At least there was no other girl, or at least no one that he would admit to. She watched as he picked a box up from the couch, and she could have sworn that she'd seen it move. He wouldn't. Would he?

That son of a bitch. She listened to what he had to say, but her eyes were glued to the box in his hands. He had gotten her a break-up gift? And not just any break-up gift. A fucking puppy? Really? And just how was she supposed to hate him, now? Jane smiled despite herself, watching the wiggling, furry creature. It barked at her, and her heart melted into a puddle on the floor in front of him. She loved him. She loved the puppy. She just hated that he had to go.

She almost felt as if she couldn't breathe at the thought. She had gotten so used to seeing him every day. He was her normal; her routine. Jane did her best to fight back tears.

"Thank you." She loved him so much. The blonde gave her now ex-boyfriend a smile, despite wanting to punch his teeth down his throat just moments before. She carefully leaned around the box in his hands and planted a kiss on his lips. "At least tell me that you'll spend one more night?"

She was less fierce than he had thought she would be. For a split second he thought for sure she was going to deck him square in the jaw, it wouldn't be the first time and if he was being completely honest her aptitude for violence had been one of the first things he had loved about her. He chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment as he passed the puppy in a box toward her. Maybe she would understand... Maybe she wouldn't make this into a big deal. Even dark wizards could dream right?

His dark eyes averted their gaze when she asked if he would stay the night. He couldn't do that. He knew the longer he stayed the harder it would be to leave and he was dead set on leaving. It was weird to think that this time next week he wouldn't be in Shoreditch, wouldn't be doing any of the things he normally did, wouldn't see Jane every morning and every night. It was scary, not that he would admit it, but it was also exhilarating to think that his entire life was about to change. He was always bored, always wanted more, and he was starting down a path toward getting it.

"I don't think that would be a good idea." He said, even though a good portion of him really wanted to say goodbye to her properly.

Jane tried not to look as hurt as she felt. He was breaking up with her, and he had rejected her. He had never turned her down before. But, she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. Anger began to rise up in her once more, though she was sure to be gentle when she took the box away from him and set it down on the floor. She gave the puppy a brief smile as she carefully scooped him up out of the box and held him to her before turning back to her ex-boyfriend.

"Fine."

Of course, 'fine' was what every angry woman said when she was pretending to not be angry. Jane turned away from Darren once more to make her way out to the kitchen. The puppy, who she had no idea what to call yet, would need something to eat. She set him down on the floor beside Watson's food dish. The old bulldog was snoring on the bedroom floor, from the sound of things, and would have to be introduced to the new addition later. He would miss Darren, too. But, not as much as she would.

She couldn't believe that he was really leaving. But, he hadn't left yet. And that was the hardest part: saying goodbye.

"Thank you, again.." Jane willed herself not to cry in front of him. But, what now?

He knew her well enough to know she was trying to drown her emotions, trying to push them away and not show any of it and while he commended her for her efforts she was basically transparent to him. He was sure he was the same way to her, it was hard to know someone as closely as they had for so long and not pick up on their tells. She was getting angry with him and truthfully he preferred that to the alternative, she was one of two people in the world who he never wanted to make cry, his kid sister being the other. It was crazy how the singular word, fine, could have so much weight and meaning. It felt like a knife stabbing at his gut but he held his ground. "Fine." He repeated sternly. He wouldn't break, he'd made his mind up this was best for the both of them and there was no turning back now.

The thank you that followed took him off guard, he had played these moments out in his head so many times leading up til now but he never thought she would take this so calmly. He'd imagined she'd be throwing things at him or hexing him to the moon and back by now or something. It wouldn't be the first time they got into it and most of the time he loved her anger, her violent wild side, and damn if she didn't have a hell of a right cross but this passive timid thing confused him. He didn't know how to navigate the waters of a mature adult conversation and this was becoming harder by the second. It wasn't often he felt off his game but it was happening more and more lately, first with Grisha then with Alvin and now with her, he hated the person he was becoming.

"I guess I should probably go then..." He started, picking up his bag and moving toward the door, half of him hoping she would stop him but the other half praying to a God he never believed in that she wouldn't make this any harder than it already was.