[portofino] twice. [tag; aeric]

“I don’t think we ever really are. Most of us would like to think that parenting would come easy, but, there is never enough time or a few more things that need to be put in place before taking that step.” He said softly, shaking his head a bit. He hadn’t been prepared and even worse he had been blind sighted. Aeric had learned of Skylar’s existence late, something the Irishman regretted deeply because the boy’s mother was unsure of Aeric’s level of commitment or afraid, which the man couldn’t be sure. His own childhood had been tainted and marred by both his father’s pride and temper. He had vowed to be a better man but somehow had become him without having a choice. Saffron had taken something from him in her need to keep such a secret from him. She had her reasons he was sure, most people did, but by not being there from the beginning Aeric felt he mirrored his father’s lack of concern and effort. “I know how hard it is to date, either you have to force yourself to go out to these clubs and bars and wade through a ton of bad choices, or you hope that a person just stumbles on you one day randomly.” He gave a slight chuckle, “That guy.” He said about her ex, he was undeserving “I think when it happens, it will definitely be with the right guy.” Someone had to have hope. Maddie gave him that, even, if he would never broach the subject of them being more than friends.

“An adventure, huh?” He asked liking the way she phrased it. “I can agree there.” He looked thoughtful, his green eyes lifting up as he considered her question, “Yes. I would love to do it right…” His lips pursed, “To be a part of it all from the beginning. I was denied that with Sky…” He said honestly as he moved to lean his weight back. “I don’t want to rush into the choice but knowing that whoever I end up with would love to expand the family I have already would be nice.” He was a package deal now, Sky was included in all things and he wanted someone who understood that. But, the Irishman wasn’t looking because who really had the time? “It’s a hard subject to open up without potentially scaring the other person away; kids.” He chuckled a bit knowing when he was younger such a talk would have sent him bolting in the other direction.

“I think it shows appreciation.” He said about her concern when it came to the biscuits, “But I know whatever you decide will be amazing. They would count themselves lucky to get such good baked goods as a thank you.”

His brow lifted in question at her confession, “How is it possible that no one has cooked you dinner before?” His head shook, “I have to cook a nice meal than to make up for the lack thereof in the past.” He said before his expression turned thoughtful, “Honestly I was thinking a nice glazed lamb, with steamed vegetables and a freshly baked bread.” His brows knitted as he thought about it, “But when we start I will know for sure.” He didn’t want to think too much into the fact that his proposition was more intimate than he may have intended, but there was a bit of pause as he wasn’t sure what he truly meant. 

“I can get more colors if you wanted.” He said about the flowers as the edge of his lip was drawn between straight white teeth. He didn’t know where he stood with Maddie because he wasn’t sure how deep his affection for her ran. It was hard to outweigh things against the fact that they were friends. Losing her was not an option he took kindly too and he doubted that would ever change for him. Aeric knew what it was like to miss her and he wasn’t rushing back to that feeling if he had anything to say about it. He leaned forward as she dipped, “You are very welcome madam.” His full lips twitched as he fought his smile before clearing his throat.

Right; Isabella Edgecomb. There was no light way to describe their relationship other than sex and violence. The two fought constantly but no matter how horrible the fight they ended up naked and tangled up in each other. It was a cycle he was happy to be out of. “It was more than me coming to vent my problems. I know the way I handled things back then could have used more grace, but I promise I didn’t do anything initially to hurt you.” Even though all he had done just that, time and time again. Their night together had been glossed over with avoidance and left them both with feelings of confusion. He knew he should have fixed things back then and bringing them up now somehow made it worse as if she had been an afterthought. IF only Madeline knew how deep his affections ran, far deeper than the Regan man could admit.

He laughed with his nod, sipping from his glass. “I did. Before New Years…” He looked at his glass, “I didn’t think I had a chance. I mean we joked about it but to actually find me in seemed near impossible.” He glanced at her, “Then New Years and I was afraid.” He admitted, “Of ruining what we had already and what would have been built.” He shrugged, “I had a hard time committing back then with all the stuff at home and I think I needed the destructive relationships I fell into. But, Merlin I wished I had the courage to say something.”

He thought to the last time they had seen each other and gone out drinking which ended with him sleeping on a couch a tad too short for his long frame. “When I saw you in Dublin, I thought, this is it, my in. But, the timing was bad with Ivana having just left me and you getting your dream job.” His head shook, I think I should change my name to poor timing because it’s been a constant of mines.” Once more he took a sip from his glass, “I know that time has long since passed for us but I thought you should know…it was always something more than a fleeting moment for me.”

"I'm not really a bar or club sort of girl," Madeline answered honestly with a smile just visible above the rim of her glass. Glumly, she nodded along as Aeric spoke; she did just hope she'd run into someone randomly. "I'm more of a coffee shop-museum sort of girl." Absently, she scratched her nose. "It sort of makes sense, though," she said candidly and with a shrug. "If you go to places you like, you meet other people who like them, too." She liked to think she was a strong and independent modern  woman but a very small part of her found herself heading to the late night opening of the MUSEE DORSAY, just in case she bumped into a broody looking single man.

"You will," Maddie told Aeric warmly about doing things properly. "He's a great kid," she added quickly, keen to ease his apprehension. Above everything else, she wanted him to be happy. He'd been through a lot and he deserved some better times ahead. "I wouldn't worry too much," she added gently as she sipped at her wine. "I know Skylar will always come first but you shouldn't put your life on hold completely. You deserve to have a little fun as well."

She smiled again. He was awfully nice. She could make something in the morning. Madeline was an early riser, often up before the sun rose. While they'd been here in Italy, she took the time to take walks, go for a swim or take photographs, as not to disturb him. She also wasn't sleeping that well. She was acutely aware that Aeric was close, a mere wall and a door separating them. It was distracting. And disconcerting.

Unable to help herself, she gave a snort of genuine laughter at his surprise about the food. "I don't think I've ever dated anyone who wanted to cook," she admitted with a shrug. "I think because cooking is my job, they'd just assume that I'd make everything but coming home to dinner would be so great," she sighed wistfully, her honey coloured eyes looking dreamy as she relaxed into her seat. It needn't be much. A salad, a stir fry, something quick and easy that let her know that the other person cared.

"That sounds like a Sunday roast," Madeline joked with a grin. "Wow," she said softly with wide eyes as she reclined in her seat, thinking. "I haven't had one of those since before I moved to Paris. I miss it," she admitted to him in a soft voice. Maddie didn't regret moving. It was the best decision she'd ever made and it was honestly the making of her but now and again, little pockets of familiarity gave her little stabs of homesickness. Would she ever go back home? No, she didn't think she would. She wasn't the same awkward freckled girl she'd been. But Aeric? Absently, her eyes strayed over to him as goose bumps rose on the fresh of her arms. Aeric felt like home to her. He'd be the only link to her past she'd need.

"No, I love them!" The baker exclaimed, her eyes wide as though she thought he might snatch them away. "They're lovely. I'll see if I can charm them to last. They'd look lovely in my living room," she assured Aeric with a smile. Since he'd seen her last, she'd moved apartments. She didn't begrudge Emilie for getting married. She was thrilled but starting again was a bit of a pain in the arse. Still, it was nice to have her own space again.

"It wasn't your fault, I know," Madeline said softly as she began to feel uncomfortable as she reached for the bottle and filled her glass up again. It was poetic, almost. Aeric had been an attractive, confident teenage boy. At the time, Maddie had been absolutely crushed. Aeric had flitted from girl to girl and spoke about them to her freely. Back then, she'd thought he was devastatingly cruel but then again, she hadn't said anything. She'd sat there and taken it because they were friends and that was what friends did.

At the mention of New Year, Maddie's fingers tightened around the stem of her wine glass before she could stop them. "Me too," she finally divulged as she looked at him. Of course she was scared. They'd been right there, on the brink, the cusp of something wonderful. Or terrible. They got on really well as friends but as he reasoned his way out of it, it was hard not to feel disappointed. It was true, though. It wouldn't have worked back then.

A faint feeling of sadness settled around her shoulders like a wet blanket as she found herself agreeing. "You didn't need to," she said in an effort to placate him. Maddie wasn't stupid. They'd accidentally used each other in a way. For her, it filled a lonely void and for him, she was something different. It just…happened and she wouldn't have been able to stop it if she'd wanted to. "I don't regret it, though." She found herself saying quickly. It had been comforting and exciting and exactly what she'd needed at that point in her life.

"Right place, wrong time," she replied with small smile. It was good that they could admit it and make a joke out of it, otherwise it would be getting way too heavy. "I believe in fate," she told Aeric seriously as she swirled the wine around her glass as it caught the setting sun. "There was a reason things didn't work out. You got Sky, I got Paris," she smiled again. "It needed to happen." Had they been dating, would she have given up her Parisian job? … no. She didn't think she would but it didn't mean she liked him any less.


At the mention of Dublin, she laughed and then winced. "Oh no," she groaned, covering her eyes with her hand and she chuckled. "I remember. I'd just bought some lingerie. How embarassing," she flushed as she recalled him accidentally knocking the bag out of her hand and her snatching it back before he could look inside. Madeline didn't comment on the mention of his ex-fiancee and instead, she simply reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "Stop beating yourself up about it," she said with another smile, keen not to let things get into treacherous territory. "Me too. I'd do anything for you, you know that," she added gently.

"I'm always going to be a little bit in love with you," Maddie replied honestly as her eyes searched his face. Swiftly, she smiled, letting him know that she was fine. "And that's okay. We should get started on dinner," she said briskly as she stood. "Heart to hearts make me peckish. Let's get started."