In the three or so days that he’d known the truth about his parentage, his history, really, Gaspard had been a wreck. He’d seen muggle movies about some random guy going through some crisis of discovery, but now that he
was that guy, it was severely less interesting. Sleep was hard to come by, and he hadn’t felt like morphing, almost blaming his element for everything that had been happening lately. He still ate, though it was out of necessity more than for enjoyment, because even in the midst of his own small breakdown, he still had responsibilities to keep, and doing so while putting on a front sapped what little energy he had left.
If he was being honest, he’d thought about drinking himself into the bottom of multiple bottles, or getting in touch with the right people, muggle or wizard, to get his hands on heavier more illicit antidotes. But in the end, he’d decided that neither option was a real solution, and that they would only make keeping up a mask harder, especially as he got more and more worn down by the weight of the knowledge now on his shoulders, so instead he kept everything bottled up, where it kept the secret safe, but ate away at him like an acid. The resulting Gaspard, when alone with his own thoughts, was moodier than usual, sullen, and angrier at the world than he’d ever been before. He was mad, furious, with Niko, too, and had been avoiding the Icin elemental since they’d left their little ‘meeting’. At the root of his anger was, of course, hurt and betrayal, but the Zealot refused to acknowledge his feelings, subconsciously afraid of just how much that would hurt.
Gaspard had still not been able to wrap his head around all the details, all the minutia that seemed to pile up only adding further insult to injury. He’d made the mistake of walking past the Demin temple once, and had had to force himself to keep walking, even though he’d felt the strong urge to find, and to see his birthplace, however twisted the whole thing felt. He hadn’t had any reason to interact with the council elders, who he had an equally strong urge to strangle, if he was putting it mildly. He was livid with them, still unable to comprehend their logic, their roles, how nobody had said or done anything to stop all of this from happening. And the knowledge that he had played a hand in similar things made his stomach twist into knots. But it was all too much to try and process all at once, and so he was left to deal with the most basic of his emotions, and the first wave of realizations.
Like Niko, he’d been avoiding Rozenn too, although he didn’t think he was mad at her, his
mother. He had yet to say the word aloud, and it still felt incredibly foreign, even inside his own head. But what did someone say to their mother who they had just found out about after forty some years of unwitting separation, who had been, and still was his teacher? He didn’t know. And, it made him feel strangely small, like he was seven years old again, and left to fend for himself once more. In a way the blonde felt shy, in some perverse way, curious but wanting to keep his distance. Curious to know about Magnus, despite the fact that his curiosity made him feel juvenile.
He’d had his foster parents, too, although Gaspard hadn’t had any real contact with them since he was a teenager, not wanting to put up with the awkward attempts to act like the council had been the right place for him. He did wonder if they knew, though, who he had been all along, and if that were the case, he’d decided to never speak to them again despite the fact that he bore their last name, a name that didn’t feel like his own despite the fact that it had been the only one he’d ever known. His confusion only served to make his angst worse, but being as stubborn as he was, the man refused to admit that he was feeling any of it, out of an attempt to self-preserve.
The end result was that Gaspard’s patience and temper were waning, and he’d had to use the last bit of self-control he’d had that day on getting through lessons with his students, really he’d just wanted to finish the lessons and go home, back to Paris. He hadn’t gone back to his quarters at the Council since the night Niko had told them the truth, unable to look at the familiar four walls just yet. So instead, he’d settled for waiting to meet with Simon before he headed home in one of the main corridors, knowing that he was less likely to be bothered by passersby if he was amid the hustle and bustle, no matter how much he didn’t want to be there. He stood against one of the cavernous walls and watched various elementals walk by, some silent in contemplation, others chattering away in small groups, and then his eyes landed on Pierce Lachapelle.
Not only did he find the Typh elemental obnoxious on his own, never mind that they were rather similar. But he’d seen the few stray looks that had passed between he and Zoe. He couldn’t be sure, but he was suspicious that something was going on between the pair. Normally, that small suspicion wouldn’t have irked the Garth at all, it was against Council rules, but he wasn’t going to bust anyone for it as long as they were smart about it. Or, that
would have been what he would have done in the past, before learning about his own existence. Now, it gave him much more trouble than he would have liked. Though that’s not why he found himself watching the other elemental intently, no. He was jealous, whether he realized it completely or not, that Pierce was with Zoe.
And in his current state, the emotion was like a red hot nerve, fueled by his anger at everyone and everything all at once. He hadn’t planned on doing anything, but they happened to make eye contact, and Gaspard found himself spitting derisively on the ground near his feet, just barely being able to restrain himself from saying something to accompany it. But he was certain his message was clear, he wasn’t in the mood.
@Pierce Lachapelle & @Nikodim Balaur