"Oh no," Maisie said with a nervous laugh. "I didn't even try out," she was quick to tell him. It was part fear but mostly knowing that she wouldn't be good enough so she didn't even sign up. Then there was the added pressure of the entire school watching you, judging you, booing you. Also the fear of falling. "I've never been great with heights," she added, hoping to distract him. She thought he might think her a quitter for not bothering to even try so a believable lie might make him not think any less of her. She just hoped he'd forgotten that her camp was set up at the edge of the cliff and she actually liked heights.
The petite woman flushed a deep, deep red and offered a self-conscious smile. His laugh sounded wonderful, like honey and melted chocolate, all rolled into one. She looked at him for a moment, wondering if she should be a little bit more open. Maisie did that a lot, weighing up the pros and cons before she opened her mouth.
"Yeah," she acquiesced without hesitation, deciding to be uncharacteristically brave because she one hundred percent didn’t think she'd see him ever again after tonight. She shrugged as she chewed on her chicken, thinking. "I've never been one for champagne tastes," she explained to Circenn. "I don't like expensive things and fancy dinners. I like beautiful things, sure, but not diamonds. What's more beautiful than a starry sky?" She asked as she tilted her head back to look up. The inky black sky looked like a dark blue blanket with holes punched in it, a swathe of sparkling gems hanging above their heads. She gave a gentle, almost wistful sigh. "You'd be surprised how few people like being outside," she told him with a wry smile. London was full of city boys; sharp suits, terribly posh accents and a distinct aversion to hard work.
Looking up sharply, she didn't comment. He'd cook her a proper dinner? She didn't say anything, relishing in the slip of the tongue. As much as she wanted to scream yes from the tree tops, she knew that if that was a genuine offer, she'd over think things and bail out at the last minute like she always did. Instead, she simply hid her smile behind the rim of her cup.
As Circenn spoke about his brain, a flicker of surprise crossed her face briefly. Him? Struggling? But he had everything. Money, girls, fame and presumably a gorgeous, normal family life. Then again, fame came at a price. Maisie was used to being scrutinised. She was routinely picked on and pulled apart by her family so goodness knew how horrible that must be to have all that come from total strangers.
She found herself nodding swiftly as she chewed on a carrot, Poco's heavy body keeping her pleasantly warm and snug. "It's more of an escape," she told Circenn without thinking, chewing her lip awkwardly. There was something about him that made her feel like she was able to open up. Whether it was his strong frame or his reassuring voice or a mixture of the two, she was unsure. "Things are --" she halted, her face creasing as though she was fighting an internal war with her feelings. "Things aren't great," she finally admitted, talking more to his dog than to him.
Her family hadn't really done anything terrible. It was just their callous indifference and emotional blackmail towards her was having a deep impact on her and how she functioned. Her mother made her well aware of just where she stood in her affections and she ranked below the family guinea pig.
Her detached mother, bullying brothers and absent father had made her loneliness manifest to the point where Maisie had just accepted that this was a normal way of life. She felt like being obedient was being a good girl. Then there was Johnny, her on again/off again "boyfriend". With a name like Johnny and his perpetual leather jacket, it should have rung alarm bells but it hadn't. He was a wannabe musician, playing clubs and bars and heading to the after parties that she was never invited to. Then he turned up infrequently, at four in the morning, drunk and wanting attention. So she gave it to him. Whenever she rolled over and asked if he wanted to stay for breakfast, she got the same answer. I don't do that, babe he'd say with his lazy drawl as he ran his fingers up her arm. Then he'd kiss her forehead, get dressed and lope down the stairs whistling and slamming the front door, leaving her tangled up in her sheets, wondering what the Hell was wrong with her and why she was so unlovable.
"It just feels a little freer," she told him eventually with a small smile as she managed to pull herself out of her thoughts. "There aren't any dickhead in the woods," she told Circenn with a genuine smile as she continued to eat. He most certainly was not Johnny or her mother or her boss or her neighbours or her landlord. "I just like hiking," she added gently. "I don't have anyone to please but myself and if I want to climb a tree, there isn't anyone tutting at me and telling me to get back down."