He had been to the door of her house four times in the past month alone. It was the same every time. He would hesitate at Ilverness and talk to Serik about her, again. Serik told him to face his fears. Charged, he would take a portkey all the way to Suwałki, Poland, and find his way to her house using the address from letters he had sent her while they were still in school. The Kowalczyk manor was large and intimidating, set on too much land and looking too white against the summer sun. He felt small walking up to the door, small and scared. For a moment, it didn't matter to him. All that mattered was getting to see her just one more time, once more before the end.
Their last meeting hadn't exactly gone well. In fact, Kanat had been yellow then, too. That had been his problem. He had avoided her for a few months, over something he sent or said or...something. He didn't remember anymore. This time, it had been a year. It had been a full year without contact, after he apologized to her specifically so they'd be able to talk again. He didn't know what to say or do around her anymore. He hoped that time would erase his curiosity about her, his desire to know her, and the strange twinge in his chest when he thought about her. That was still there, though. It still hurt to imagine and he still felt drawn to her memory.
He remembered the way she kissed him. It was soft and gentle, a scientist's curiosity. He would never forget it. It was the first kiss in his life that he ever felt, and still his only. He wondered if it was her first and only, too. He thought that it probably was. Neither of them were moved much by physical temptations, at least they hadn't been. For all he knew, Aniel could be a new person now. She was a beautiful ever-evolving creature, and always had been. Change was likely inevitable. Had she changes so much that she would be an entirely new person to Kanat? He considered this and wondered if it would be bad or horribly exciting.
He had changed a lot since the last time they met. He no-longer looked like that put together young boy. He had got used to being free, being casual. His hair had grown long and he had hair on his face now. He was a man who went where the job took him. He ate meals where he could get them and slept where there was shelter. He looked a bit like it. He remembered the days of his meticulous grooming fondly. He had been a child, then. He was a man now, and realized how little material things really mattered.
When it came to the kiss, however, he remembered the way he reacted, too. Less than ideal. He turned into a puddle at her feet, a literal puddle of water. He morphed. Why had he morphed? He had been meaning to tell Aniel about being an elemental, but he wanted to do it in a serious manner. He wanted to let her ask questions. He wanted to show her what he could do. If he morphed, maybe he'd morph with her.... not just morph in front of her and then forget his clothing when he morphed back. He had to walk back to his house in the nude, with nothing but an over-sized set of outer robes to keep him decent. She had seen that. He had been too embarrassed to continue. A year worth of embarrassment, apparently.
It wasn't really that. It was just that the longer he went without talking, the harder it became to initiate conversation. He wasn't sure what she was up to or what she would be doing. He worried about what to say, if he should say anything. He worried what to do. So, he did the same thing every time. He came all the way to Poland, stood in front of that large, white, imposing door....
...and he fled. Every time, he fled. Would this be the time he actually knocked? Would she even live there anymore? What if she didn't? He shook his head and took in a deep breath. Coming to visit a friend was only this nerve-wracking when you had a tendency to overthink everything you did. Kanat had that tendency.
He looked up at the door again. Four times he had come here, and four times he'd left. Would he do it this time? He hesitated, when suddenly the door opened. Out stepped a young boy, probably fifteen. He looked vaguely familiar from his Durmstrang days. A Drakonya Krov. Aniel's younger brother, Szymon.
“Are you ever gonna knock?” He asked, and Kanat flushed crimson. It looked like fate had intervened here. He coughed, trying to find his voice.
“Ahh, yes. Um.” He was usually far more eloquent than this. “Is.... Aniel here?”
Szymon chuckled, and Kanat felt a little bit like dying.
“Yeah, actually. She's visiting. Come on in....” He motioned towards the inside of the home, and Kanat shuffled in behind him, nervous and heart racing. He fumbled with the cap of the water bottle he kept in his shoulder bag and took a few sips. His mouth was dry and tacky and he was sweating nervously. He needed to control this. He was better than this, stronger. How could one girl change everything about him so completely?
“She's in her room, I think.” Szymon continued. He called out for her.
“Aniel! You've got a visitor.” @Sioban 
