[THD] of distance and relations - Zacharias

It turns out that Finch is a pretty common surname, even in the wizarding world. And Argula Finch was turning 127 years old this year, or so the invitation that turned up at Justin's apartment stated. Justin was pretty sure the invitation was sent to him by mistake. He was a muggleborn, after all. His family had no magical blood that he was aware of and when he'd asked his father, the Finch portion of Finch-Fletchly, if there was anything he wanted to tell him about some long-lost relatives, the older man had said he that they came from about as mundane stock as could be found. But there was the invitation, all the same. Justin wondered if maybe someone hadn't just gone through some kind of magical directory and sent out invitations to every witch and wizard named Finch.

Nevertheless, here he was, dressed in an open wizard's robe over slacks and a nice deep purple shirt, carrying flowers because he had no idea what someone brought as a gift for a very old maybe-relative that probably had hobbies and interests but Justin had no clue as to what they might be. Flowers were safe. Everybody likes flowers! He was carrying a large arrangement of sunflowers and daisies in a pretty crystal vase. It obscured his face and his vision, making him look like a walking florist's shop, when he bumped into someone.

"Sorry!" Justin called out cheerfully, adjusting the flowers so that he could see who he'd collided with. His face immediately split into a large grin. "Zach!" Zacharias was a fellow Ministry worker, one Justin often ate lunch with. They made an odd pair, with Zach a far more pessimistic and reserved personality than Justin's bright and happy demeanor, but the Hufflepuff thought they got along great. "I didn't expect to see anyone I knew here. I'm glad I bumped into you! Oh, and , er, sorry for literally bumping into you!"

@Zacharias Smith

He was related to a lot of wizards. A truly preposterous percentage of British wizards, none of whom Zacharias cared about at all. His mother also didn’t care. She was muggleborn, she didn’t have any reason to take him to weddings and funerals of his absent father’s plentiful distant relations. Zach had grown up without any of this and he was used to things that way. But Clyde Smith held a different view, maybe just in the interest of networking. He didn’t approve of his son being unambitious, asocial, and lacking completely in useful connections—not that he ever directly said so, but Zach could tell. His father was pretty awful at hiding judgment. It meant a little that at least he tried to. But only a little.

Arugula Fitch, or something, Zach had been drunk when he got the invitation and had never heard of the man previously, was some sort of maternal relative of his dad’s. Additionally, he had once been high up in Accidents and Catastrophes and among his birthday guests would be a selection of prominent bureaucrats. Zach was to dress presentably and to meet his father there, at which point he would follow him about agreeably and resist the urge to lobotomize himself with a dessert fork while he was introduced to an endless stream of old wizards by his well-meaning parent, probably.

Wandering between tables and tugging at his stiff robes, Zach contemplated faking illness. If he did it now at least he’d have been seen making a genuine effort to attend—and then, something solid and fluffy struck him and he just about had a heart attack.

“Oh, hi,” he said, once he had recovered from his undignified yelp of shock. His surprise almost masked any tone of displeasure. “You know this bloke?” To his knowledge Justin had no wizarding relations. However, he probably had decent ministry connections at this point, and he also seemed like the sort of person who would be just thrilled to attend any party he was invited to. If Zach had birthday parties growing up, Justin probably would have been the only person to show up, and would probably have even had a ball. It really wasn’t that surprising when he thought about it. And he was relieved too, though unlike Justin he had no intention of saying it in so many words. His father had met Justin once and had taken a shine to him; maybe he’d leave Zach alone if he were with an approved good influence. Giving Justin a small grin, Zacharias looked out over the party. “Know which one he is, at least?”

Justin wore the ridiculously happy grin he always did when he ran into his friends or coworkers. The Hufflepuff especially loved seeing Zach and his other friends from Hogwarts. It reminded him of younger days when things had seemed so bright and full of promise. True, Justin was never one to lose hope, he even he could feel a sense of nostalgia, especially since there were a number of his friends who never lived to see graduation. Zach and Dean and Harry and Ernie and Susan and Hannah all reminded Justin that there was so much to be thankful for.

He shook his head, a bit flustered at the question. "No clue!" He replied, still smiling. "Got an invitation. I think it might have been a mistake, but how often do you get to attend someone's 127th birthday party?" Justin practically bounced on the balls of his feet, looking unreasonably excited to be just about anywhere. "I love birthday parties! Well, parties in general, really! I get to see friends and meet new people." He wandered over to the gift table, dropping off the large arrangement of flowers.

"But I think I saw the birthday boy over by that long table?" He stood on his tip-toes to see over the crowd. "Yeah! Right there! He's wearing the big purple hat with the numbers '127' flashing green on top." Justin blinked, rubbing his eyes. "Wow, that light is bright! I'd be careful to not look at that full-on," he warned Zach. "How about you? Do you know him?" He grabbed Zach's arm and tugged him towards the center of the noise and hubbub. "If you do, maybe you can introduce me? It's been such a nice party so far and I'd like to say thanks for inviting me to someone!"

If he hadn’t known Justin Finch-Fletchley for so long, Zach wouldn’t believe at all that he was for real. Every word out of the man’s mouth, every expression, felt like it came from a caricature created by someone who’d never actually met a happy person. Bouncing, going on about how excited he was to make new friends… He was a grown man, for Merlin’s sake; it made Zach embarrassed to be standing next to him. But that said, he appreciated the effort. Friendship with him required effort, and most people could only put in so much if any at all. Justin had been relentlessly kind, always excited to see Zach no matter how indifferently he treated him. Pathetic, yes. But sort of nice. And that made him feel guilty sometimes, namely, right now, as he considered the idea of walking away from him at a party where they only knew each other. Zach followed Justin over to the gift table helplessly.

“I dunno,” said Zach. “He’s some kind of relation, but I’ve never met him.” He observed the old man in the flashing hat. “’I’ll probably have to go introduce myself at some point.” He hadn’t been planning on doing that until he was forced to, but perhaps he could tag along and let Justin do the talking, and impress his father with his initiative. He let Justin drag him toward the middle of the crowd.

"Oh, family?" Justin asked, happy to get the chance to meet more of Zach's family. He'd met his father, and he'd seemed quite pleased that his son was friends with Justin. He'd even called him 'a good fellow' which had made Justin smile and go all red at the praise. But this wasn't an unusual occurrence. Most of his friends' parents loved him. He was the kind of person a parent would trust wouldn't do anything illegal or dangerous. And that was mostly true. He was quite responsible, usually. Except when he fell in love with dangerous boy with irresistible smiles and less than stellar criminal records...

Justin wiggled his way through the crowd to the center of the cluster of people, finding the birthday boy waving a cane around threateningly. "I don't know how all ya boogies got into my party but ya can't fool old Argula!" He brandished the walking stick, more than a few people quickly ducking to avoid getting whacked by the silver-tipped butt of it. The old wizard was clearly not doing well in his twilight years. The relative were just shaking their heads and chuckling quietly about how eccentric he'd gotten in his old age, but Argula paid them no mind.

His fierce gaze turned to Justin and Zach and he pointed his cane at them threateningly. "You! You two! Don't think I don't see you! I don't know how ya got into here past all the garlic bundles I put up around the doors, but no dirty vampires are gonna ruin my big day!" Justin was trying to stutter out a reassurance that they were not vampires and that they wer definitely freely invited human guest when the old man, showing incredible speed and agility, charged them as he swung his cane wildly.

Justin reacted with quickness that would have pleased @Jane Lennon and pushed Zach down and away from the attack, covering him with his own body to protect his friend. "Time to run!" He called as he hauled Zach up and tugged him away from the incensed geriatric. Zach might have been surprised at the sweet Hufflepuff's fast reaction time, but almost ten years of training and fighting in gyms did something for the boy. He paused to catch his breath quickly, ready to take off again if he needed to.

He turned to see several relative talking to the old wizard, telling him that there were no vampire, just party guests. For a moment, Argula looked so downcast, that Justin felt bad for him. He'd seemed so lively when he thought they were vampire. Like he was having fun chasing them around. Like he felt younger again. Justin looked at him and he steeled his resolve. He dramatically laughed and brought his arm up to cover the lover part of his face like a classic horror vampire from a muggle movie.

"Ahhh ve have been discovered!" He was hamming it up with an atrocious Transylvanian accent. "I do not know how you spotted us, old vizard, but you will surely not catch us!" He gave another evil laugh and grabbed Zach's arm, whispering to him, "Play along! It'll be fun!" 

“Only technically,” said Zacharias. He felt no attachment to people he’d never met, despite their blood relation. “Family” was an overused word in his opinion, or maybe he just ascribed more connotation to it than most. But it felt like it should mean something if one was going to use it. The only person he considered his family was his mother, or sometimes his father if he was feeling charitable. This was just some bloke.

They approached the man of the hour. As soon as Zach was within earshot of him he wanted to turn around, because this would clearly not be worth it. Arugula—oh, Argula—had no idea what was going on at all. Watching warily, Zach’s eyebrows shot up as the old man turned to him and Justin. “Excuse me,” he began angrily, unwilling to put up with this stupidity. He wasn’t about to be insulted. Even if they were pasty enough for the confusion to be almost understandable.

He couldn’t say much, though, before he was slammed roughly to the ground. Zach yelped in surprise and stumbled as Justin pulled him back up again. “What in the hell!?” he shouted back at Argula and his minders. “Keep a bloody handle on him, can’t you!?” Dusting his robes off, Zach threw them a final dirty look and prepared to turn on his heel. But Justin had other plans.

“Oh, you’re joking,” he muttered under his breath.

“Yeah,” he said flatly, not bothering with much of an act. There were British vampires, after all. He recalled Justin being a fan of Gilderoy Lockhart’s back in the day and figured he shouldn’t have been surprised at his old housemate’s dreadful dramatics. “You’d better keep away from us,” he said to the old man, “or we’ll suck your blood.” He paused, and then added, “You barmy fuck,” because he could get away with it. Baring his teeth, he hissed.

He grabbed Justin’s arm and steered him away from Argula, who had gotten out his wand (to the chagrin of a middle-aged man who might have been his son). “Come on,” Zach muttered, ignoring the commotion behind them. “We tried. Let’s find the food.”