[las vegas] the next ten minutes | charles

there are so many lives i want to share with you  ;   i will never be complete until i do

“Hmmm.”

A smile played at the corners of the witch’s lips, her golden-brown eyes alight and corners creased with happiness as she basked in the afterglow. She’d smothered herself in covers when he’d been so kind to volunteer to go to the kitchenette in their suite to get a couple glasses of water, for the light sheen of sweat covering her body was bound to make her a little chilly in no time flat without him in bed next to her. He was sort of her personal heater. It was convenient, after all -- the climate in England lent itself to Kate often shivering out of her skin. Charlie usually had no qualms hugging her, cuddling her, offering her his jacket, or offering the most favorable of all the options.

They were in Las Vegas for a sort of bittersweet reason, so Kate thought it a possibility her boyfriend had been trying to distract her on purpose. Banshee had needed some tour dates rebooked: Kate’s brief stint in the hospital had made such a thing necessary. She felt badly, but of course, them sticking to their word alleviated some of her concerns.

Being the manager, she had certain liberties available to her and a little bit more leeway -- thus, she’d switched things around a little and made sure Vegas was the last city they revisited. She’d never really seen the city when she’d looked old enough to pass as twenty-one, so they were making a little holiday of it. So far, it had been fantastic. They hadn’t spent much time in bars or casinos, granted, and had spent the most time in their hotel room, but she enjoyed looking at the illuminated strip from their window at night. It was a different sort of beautiful from the ocean of her home in California or the grey mist of the English sky in her newer home, but it was gorgeous nonetheless. It made Kate feel like there was more than. Made her understand the world was big, and that all of her troubles -- and their troubles -- were transient. After a long time of warring with the possibility of them never going away and continuing to plague them, she was content with accepting their love as the only consistency.

“Hey,” She grinned widely at him as he waltzed back into the room, naked and unashamed, and sat up, not bothering to hold the sheets to her chest as she accepted the glass of water he came back with. Kate gulped half of it down noisily and made a refreshed noise, setting it down next to the bed and then turned onto her side with her back to the window, more than pleased to find him lying there next to her again. Where he belonged. “I’m kinda sorry I made you get up, but not really. It’s your fault I’m parched.” The brunette poked his shoulder good-naturedly and blew a stray strand of hair from her face. She was almost certain if she caught sight of a mirror, the reflection would appear slightly more disheveled than she’d have liked.

Kate chewed on her lip and thought idly about a bunch of different things. All of them were subjects she wanted to bring up on this trip. It felt like the best time to do it. The tour was over and he was hers again. Not that he hadn’t while they’d been abroad, they had just all been busy and there had only been so much time for leisure. Perhaps leisure wasn’t the right word -- this time together, they needed it. It was essential to their connection to have time alone. “I love you,” She began, picking at a speck of nothing on the sheets. “I know the last time we were here was… not great,” Kate inhaled, a slight tremor interrupting the air flow at the end. “But I. Hope this is making up for it.”

“Hey,” he echoed back at her, his own features stretching into a broad grin in response as he handed her the glass. As she drank Charlie slid back into his side of the bed, not bothering to pull the sheets up. It was June in Las Vegas and despite the air conditioning being on he was too hot to want to be covered up right now – even with just a thin cotton topsheet; though he supposed the air con wasn’t really doing much for him right now anyway, it was set more to Kate’s preferred climate than his own.

“My fault?” He looked offended, going so far as to dramatically clutch at his bare chest, “You started it.” A slow smirk spread across his lips as they curled up at the end. Charlie gazed at Kate as he lay there, his chest rising and falling with the effort of regulating his breathing once more. “I love you.” He replied quietly, his brow furrowing the tiniest bit in concern as she continued speaking, the lines getting deeper as she went on. He turned on his side to face her properly, “Hey,” he reached out to cup her jaw gently, encouraging her to look him in the eye as he spoke softly, “We don’t have to think about that, it wasn’t your fault.” And Charlie believed that wholeheartedly – he blamed himself.

“Just being with you is making up for it.” He offered her a small smile, “We could be anywhere, I wouldn’t care where.” He shuffled a little closer and pulled her down into his chest, cradling her in his arms. He wasn’t usually this open, even with Kate, but given the history this particular city now held with them, he wanted to alleviate any doubts she had – about him, about them. “It’s just. nice for it to be… just us.” He swallowed softly. They had been together, at least, throughout the touring. And it hadn’t been that long, if he were to judge it by tours done in the muggle world, but it had been constant. If they weren’t travelling from one place to the next, they were unpacking, performing, repacking. They had managed to squeeze the odd day in here and there for them to do a bit of sightseeing, but there was only so much of a place you could see in a few hours, If anything, they’d simply added to their list of future holiday destinations to revisit.

But it hadn’t been just the hecticness of it all. It had been the emotional toll on them both, not only the physical one. By the time they’d gotten to Las Vegas the first time, Charlie had also been mentally drained – Kate too, which he now realised had been obvious. The rest… he didn’t like to think about it. Especially right now, here, where they were both so content. He knew the therapy had caused Kate’s hospital stay, but it had also allowed them to get to this stage; happy. Charlie had found it hard to be honest at first, and it wasn’t easy yet – he didn’t think it ever would be – but he was better. He was getting better. Charlie shifted them again, so that they were looking into each other’s’ eyes once more. He breathed in slowly, gazing. “At least we won’t have to do any extended tours again for a little while. We can just… focus on us.”

Kate couldn’t fully agree that nothing had been her fault. Her silence for a large part of their relationship and ignoring others when they’d tried to warn her had contributed to this grand bottling-up of emotions that had exploded everywhere like mentos in a shaken coke. Kate knew she was irresponsible in that she didn’t care for herself sufficiently. She always ended up at the bottom of the list, and even if it created resentment, she cared for others more. The resentment was mostly directed at people like Liam and his plethora of annoying groupies, but sometimes she took it out on herself. The therapy had facilitated all of that; she could admit that much.

“I always want to be with you.” She shared with him quietly, gazing up into his brown eyes. Kate had long eyelashes for a woman, but Charlie had been blessed with a set of the most absolutely striking features she’d ever seen. His eyes, nose, jaw, teeth, cheekbones… it made sense why women screamed and threw their articles of clothing at him even just seeing his silhouette come onto the stage. Little pangs of jealousy still radiated in her chest with that stuff sometimes, but when they laid up in bed together like this, her worries cast away quite easily. He convinced her effortlessly like this, and Kate was sure it was genuine, his concern and love for her. She never would have come back if it had been otherwise.

She swallowed after a moment and thought some more, considering carefully what the next thing she wanted to say was. He was being awfully tender and sweet with her, and maybe it was because sex had really been the only way for them to express these emotions on tour--not enough alone time otherwise--that it was all coming out now, but she wanted to prolong it. Healthy emotional discourse was good--and it didn’t always have to be venting. Not having a paid mediator between them was nice. It flowed more naturally like this, and it helped when the subject was the opposite of inherently uncomfortable and negative(which was what many of their sessions encompassed).

“I want you to know that I’m not angry about how the tour went. I’m glad we got to reschedule these shows, and. I love my job. I don’t want you to think that I don’t. I love you more than my job--and I’m. So happy we’re getting time alone, alone. But the tour wasn’t… entirely what was wearing on me. You know that. I think it kind of just aggravated it. And I think you’re right, it’s good for us to have this time. Alone.” Her fingers mirrored his, lifting up to cup his face, and her thumb slid along the plane of his jaw slowly, back-and-forth over and over again.

Charlie’s gaze didn’t leave Kate’s face – he scanned her features slowly; her warm golden-brown eyes, like liquid gold and amber whiskey and sunrises; the freckles across her nose that he loved so much but always got distracted and lost count of exactly how many there were; her wide, full lips that he could spend hours kissing. “Always?” he repeated quietly, not because he didn’t believe her, but because he did – in this moment, at least – and because he wanted to hear it again. Because he wanted to always be with her too. It had grown on him quickly, and then slowly, intensifying over the last few months, until he didn't know how to function without her. The tour had kept them physically close, he'd returned each night to their hotel room rather than going out with any of the boys, and though some nights that had been hard, especially depending on whether they'd had a good or bad session that day, it had helped to have her right there. 

Charlie inhaled and exhaled slowly, happy to just lay here, in this ridiculously oversized bed with her. With the lights of the Vegas strip below blinking and dancing, the famous fountains shooting water skywards, all the hustle and bustle outside slowing here, in their suite, alone. The hand at Kate’s jaw moved to tuck her hair behind her ear, his thumb stroking over her cheekbone tenderly. He was content with silence, believed the old adage that actions spoke louder than words – but he knew Kate liked actions and words. He was trying to be better at that, trying to verbalise his thoughts more, but Kate beat him to it, as usual.

His brow furrowed softly, unsure of what it was she was telling him – or trying to. Charlie wet his lips habitually, swallowing before replying. “I’m…” He wasn’t sure he wanted to get into talking about his therapy right now. It had been hard and unpleasant, but necessary in hindsight. He wished they could have done it all without pushing Kate to breaking point, but they’d survived, worked through it – were closer for it. He realised now that they’d been close physically from the beginning, but now they were close in every sense of the word. So close he felt like he was missing some part of himself when they were apart too long.
 
“I don’t need anyone else,” he said, hoping he sounded earnest. Charlie shifted closer, kissing her softly before pulling back just enough to be able to look her in the eye. He lowered his gaze for a second before meeting hers again, pressing his thumb to her lips gently. “I know it… it was hard for you." It had been horrible for them both, but he'd always known the terrible things he had done. Kate had had to learn about many of them for the first time, with someone else there to bear witness to it all. "I’m glad you stayed.” If she analysed his words, she might realise he meant more than it seemed at the surface; glad she had stayed with him, glad she had stayed in his life, hadn’t left him forever.   

“Always,” She repeated again for him with a slight nod. Kate didn’t think he was questioning her; she felt the same way when he said things like that to her. Hearing them again only made her happier, only made her feel safer and more secure. Kate realized she shouldn’t be relying on that type of reassurance, as her boyfriend wasn’t the most verbose person in the world, but that perhaps made it even more valuable when he did say what he was thinking aloud.

He was quieter, then, as she rambled on in usual-Kate fashion. Sometimes she wished she could shut up more easily, because early on it had overwhelmed him, her tendency to vent out loud and say whatever was on her mind. She was aware of all of this as she went on to express herself to him, but the words kept coming, like a waiting river through an open dam. She wasn’t like this, though, with everyone. Not so chatterboxy. He brought the part of her out who wanted to share everything she thought, felt, predicted, intuited, questioned. No other person on the face of the planet had ever made her feel so herself. Kate wanted Charlie to know everything there was to know about her, and it never felt like she had enough time for that.

Kate’s small thumb pressed into Charlie’s lower lip, almost dipping inside his mouth before she dropped her hand back to his arm, caressing instead on his skin there. He was such a beautiful person, inside and out. His arms were one of her favorite physical qualities, but if she were grilled to choose only one, she wasn’t sure it would be possible. Everything about him made her nerves sing with electricity, and the feeling hadn’t gone away since she’d met him years ago. It was the same every time they were in one another’s presence. Idly, Kate wondered if that was the same as a soulmate.

She kissed him back distractedly--she was more focused on the statement he’d made. He didn’t want anyone else? Kate knew it had felt contrary to that at times, but why would he have agreed to months of therapy while he was on tour if he didn’t mean it? Why would he be here with her now, telling her? There were plenty of women who might have settled for a patchy relationship with him just because of the status, money or fame it brought them. He wanted to put in work for a reason. She needed to heed those signs.

“It was hard for me. But I know it’s been hard for you, too. You’re soft. Underneath all of this.” Her palm slid down his chest slowly. “That’s part of why I love you,” This part was quieter, under her soft breath. “I stayed because. I want to be with you. Forever.”

This was risky.

Of course it was risky, the last time they’d talked about forever, they’d gotten into a huge fight and ruined her Christmas present to him. The ski trip had been a mess because of a he-said-she-said proposal situation, and Kate knew he had, but he hadn’t seemed willing to come to grips with it. Forever was Russian roulette.

Charlie watched Kate through soft eyes. He could see she was running through things in her head at a mile a minute, the way she always did. He wasn’t often forced to guess what she was thinking – she told him most things openly, candidly, and with abandon – and when she was quiet it was usually because she was scared to tell him what she was thinking, fearful of how he would respond.

If he could, he’d crack her head open and let all the thoughts out where he could see them. He wanted to know what she was thinking, always. Sometimes he grew frustrated with her seemingly endless monologue – didn’t want to have to pay attention and respond in kind because he didn’t like to share all of his own inner-musings in the same fashion – but then he would recall, at a later time or place, something she’d said that had seemed so trivial or unimportant at the time, but held some deeper meaning. Everything meant something.

He inhaled when Kate finally said what it was she’d been mulling over. He could see now; she’d been working out how best to word what she’d wanted to say without sending him running for the hills. It had started safe enough, until—

Forever.

Charlie could feel his heart beating faster and harder, the blood pounding in his ears drowning out the silence of their hotel suite. He was certain that, with her cool hand on his warm chest, she could feel it too. His hand at her jaw remained unmoving; holding her frozen there with him. Forever. Charlie felt like he’d known Kate longer than they had, maybe not forever, but for a long time. Years longer than the truth. Felt like she knew him better than anyone ever could. Knew he was willing to let her in further than anyone before her, and knew he didn’t want there to be an anyone after her. They’d been through so much together, both thought they’d lost the other – both had come back.

She’d said forever before. He’d wanted forever before, too. The problem was, he hadn’t really been ready then.

“Kate,” he exhaled. He was still staring at her, unwilling to look away in case she took that to be a dismissal. They were still laying on their sides, facing one another, legs tangled together. He wet his lips, gearing himself up. He was both tense and full of calm at the same time. He knew what he wanted, knew that when he’d taken forever back last time he’d regretted it. In the scheme of things, it was probably better that they had been through what they had to get them to this point, to here – to this forever. He was taking too long, he needed to just say it—

“Marry me.”

Kate had been half expecting to watch his shoulders scrunch together all tense, and to witness his brow knit in the middle in confusion. Or discomfort--whichever, with what she’d said. Even though they’d been together a long time now, technically speaking, Kate had so often felt, up until very recently, that she had to walk on eggshells to get her point across safely--and in so doing, those eggshells felt like broken glass.

She could definitely feel his pulse reverberating into her palm, almost as if it was trying to kick up a running start for what he planned to say. Kate wondered if he was planning anything or if he was going to let it all out involuntarily. It was sort of a 50/50 with him. Life was like a box of chocolates, right? After saying something so intense as forever, one could probably expect an intense response. She wasn’t expecting the world wrapped in a bow, but maybe if he said anything sort of similar, she’d be okay. Kate knew, through the body language he wasn’t trying to communicate with, that he was feeling. A lot.

Her little heart was fluttering away, too, threatening to bowl down into her ribcage and her stomach if he let her down. Maybe she’d really vomit this time, if it was bad--

Kate.

The tiny witch’s spirits lifted, even if it turned out to be just for a moment. He didn’t sound ominous. She was hanging on every word he said, even though he hadn’t said many. She couldn’t believe how enamored with him she was. Until Kate had met Charlie, and furthermore gotten to know him for who he was, she hadn’t been aware this type of attachment to another human being--something so profound and devoted and pure--had been possible.

Marry me.

This solidified everything. She’d heard it once before, and from the same man, to be exact--but this time it felt different. Kate wasn’t sure what she’d do if this one turned into a fluke, but she had no reason to believe it would. He was a different person from who he’d been several months ago; he was a person she loved and adored even more than the previous version. And, based on what he’d said, this had been for her. Kate would disregard every friend and family member’s opinion to indulge in her own of her fiance. He was, now, right? As soon as she accepted.

“Yes,” She grinned immediately, happiness blooming across her mouth and out her bright brown eyes, “I want to marry you. I’ve. Wanted to marry you,” Kate leaned in to press a kiss to his lips, trying to bridle her eagerness as it threatened to mar this moment. “Right now?” She asked, unable to keep that tiny piece from slipping through the cracks. Her hands were everywhere; she wasn’t sure she had control of them any longer. “I love you.”

They were still a tangle of limbs, his hand still on her jaw. He was still staring at her, waiting for her answer. Frozen in place. His heart, where it had been beating strongly before, now felt like it might threaten to explode out of his chest like one of those aliens from the movie. What if she said no? What if she didn’t like that he hadn’t gotten down on one knee, didn’t have a ring? Had demanded she marry him, rather than ask if she would? She hadn’t cared last time, well, from what he’d pieced together of that night; fragments of his own memory combined with what had been thrown at him in her anger. There’d been no ring then, no grand proposal – just them, wrapped in each other’s arms, so full of love that it had just come out. Just like it had again.

Her eyebrows rose, eyes widened. His did the same as he waited, trying not to panic—

Yes.

Charlie took a minute to grin back, still in mild disbelief that this was happening – that he’d asked Kate to marry him, again, on a whim, again. But he was sober this time, knew that really, this was what he wanted. Even if he hadn’t come here with any intention of making her his wife, hadn’t prepared some speech, hadn’t even asked her father for his permission. Had he ever done any real planning when it came to Kate? It was starting to seem like he didn’t.

As per Kate’s usual MO, she was now talking a lot – well, a lot compared to him – and quickly. He was glad when her lips smashed against his, and he tried to keep the kiss going even after she pulled away. Charlie stared at her, his eyes a little round. Right now? “Yes.“ He answered simply, unaware that he was being especially brief with his words considering he’d just proposed.

But indeed, why not right now? Would save all the admin later. And they were in the perfect place for impromptu nuptials. “We’re in Vegas,” he added after a moment, kissing her again because it was a more familiar way for him to communicate everything he was feeling right now. “I love you,” he echoed back, pressing his lips to hers over and over, one hand in her hair. “We can— go downstairs and— find a chapel,” he breathed out in the gaps between their kisses, grinning.

He wasn’t looking spooked. He didn’t even sound unsure when, between tender kisses, suggesting they go find a chapel. To get married in. Miserable experiences aside, Kate hoped she wasn’t dreaming. That was probably the tenth time the idea this was too good to be true had popped irritatingly into her mind, which was otherwise full of pink daydreamy clouds. Kate wasn’t scared, either, of getting married--just that Charlie would change his mind.

This was better, though. This was right. People who got married in Vegas probably had a higher divorce rate than the national average, but Kate, amidst a Las Vegas impromptu-posal, could definitely understand the spontaneous allure of the whole thing. It was exciting, and gut-churning, and head-lightening: all the symptoms of being so insanely in love one couldn’t think quite straight.

After about the fifth flock of butterflies attacked her stomach, Kate halted somewhere in her thought process. Ever a careful planner, dilemmas of what to wear, not having rings, not having any makeup on, and various other tiny minutia were suddenly populating like dandelions in the spring. She knew that Charlie could get overwhelmed when she talked so much, so Kate carefully truncated what she was going to say before it all came spilling out.

“I. Baby, what should we wear? I can do whatever. Outfit is your favorite that I brought.” Mimicking what he had done just a moment earlier, Kate stroked his hair back. “Should we get rings?” Kate asked more quietly. She didn’t care even if they didn’t: she hadn’t cared the last time he had proposed, either. He could put a dirt claud on her finger. (This wasn’t preferable, but if they were dirt poor, and it was the only option…)

She knew that they had to actually get up to go to a chapel, but she didn’t want to disentangle from him or be anywhere, for that matter, other than right up next to him. Her nose dove gently into the apex of his shoulder and neck. “Make me get out of this bed with you.” Kate took a deeper breath to take in his scent. He smelled the way he usually did: faint vanilla, tobacco, and kind of apple pie with some musky notes underneath. She figured this was his cologne, but the way it sat on his skin drove her crazy. “Or I never will.”

An unfamiliar rush was surging through his veins – he was still riding on the fact that he’d asked and she’d said yes. Even if he’d sort of known she would, it was still a relief to know that she didn’t harbour any doubts after… last time. Charlie knew it had only been half a year since then, and that he’d really dragged her to hell and back in between, but he felt sure that – despite everything – she was right for him. She’d stood by him even when he’d treated her awfully, helped him to get the help he needed. Nobody else had ever cared for him as much as she did, and he’d never cared for anyone as much as he cared about her.

In the excitement he’d not thought about the details. Charlie stared at her intently, wetting his lips as he tried to wrap his head around what they were about to do. He wanted to ask if it really mattered what they wore, but even in his love-saturated state he knew better than to dismiss her like that. “I– yeah. What’ve you got?” Knowing Kate, her full-to-the-brim suitcase had something appropriate. “Jeans not okay?” he asked, sort of teasing but also kind of serious. If it were up to him, he’d be in his leather jacket and boots. “I’ve got a shirt?” He had his stage outfits too, he supposed, but he didn’t particularly want to be in a suit walking down the Strip.

Charlie was breathing deeper and slower now, but could still feel his heart hammering in his chest. Somewhere in the back of his head he knew that yes, he did want to give her a ring, but he hadn’t progressed much further along the thought than that. He’d overcome the first hurdle of actually wanting to marry her – right now, today – and hadn’t considered they needed the rings to do so. His Nan had quietly offered him first refusal of her jewellery at Christmas dinner, just after meeting Kate – had she known then? – and Charlie had politely laughed it off, but obviously something about it had stuck because he’d drunkenly proposed only a couple of weeks later— He was going on a tangent. His Nan’s ring was in England. They were here, a million miles away, in Vegas. He swallowed. “Yeah,” he breathed out finally. They couldn’t not, could they? He’d just have to figure out what to say to his Nan later.

“Yeah, we should.” He repeated more confidently. There was bound to be a million and one jewellers around here – some more affordable than others, he’d wager. Charlie had never quite gotten out of the habit of being careful with his money; he’d been brought up by a working class family, and as far as that working class family knew he was just as unwealthy as they were. The only truly material possessions he owned were his instruments (admittedly, more than was really necessary), some collectible merchandise (mostly gifts he’d received) and his motorcycle (he was allowed one ridiculous expense, he was a rockstar).

Kate snuggled in closer to him and his arm automatically wrapped around her, holding her close. His lips tugged up into a smile she couldn’t see as she mumbled into his skin. “Mm, we can come back to bed after you’ve signed your life away.” He was mostly joking, but maybe he was also giving her the chance to think about this. The way he saw it, he had everything to gain and she had everything to lose. Was it selfish of him to be doing this? He released his arm from around her and craned his neck down for one last, lingering kiss before disentangling himself to get up and find something clean to wear. “Come on,” he grinned, flinging a cushion at her, “or I’ll think you’ve changed your mind.”