[TTB] Raise your glass to us [Graeme]

“I’m sure.”  He confirmed confidently with a beaming smile.  Beck was pleased that she had finally accepted his dinner invitation and made no effort to hide the way he felt.  Then adopting an expression of indignation, he pretended to be hurt by her aspersions that he might fail to tell his sister the plan.  “I would never!”  He exclaimed in a haughty tone but then almost immediately burst into laughter, ruining his own joke.  “Ok, so maybe I do have a bad habit for turning up at her place without forewarning…”  He wriggled his eyebrows at her.  Darn, Joanna you're too savvy.  “But I promise that I’ll clear this with her first.”  He made a mental note to send off an owl to Jessica before turning in for the night.  And another note to remember the first one.

Joanna appeared to react poorly to him touching her again, promptly moving away from the contact as though it made her uncomfortable.  He let his hand drop to the table between them but did not draw back.  Her efforts to placate him only made him more concerned.  As she struggled with her words, Beck just stared fixedly at her, intent upon figuring out what she was so reluctant to talk about.  Then everything started to pour out of the Hit Witch and he listened intently, looking for pieces to fill out the puzzle in his head.  Why is Joanna so sad? Unfortunately, being in analysis mode meant that he just sat there silent and intense, unable to react with any real sympathy or compassion for a time.

The war had been horrible for everyone involved but Beck was often reminded about how lightly he had gotten off.  It wasn't like he'd been sitting on a beach somewhere sipping pina coladas; he'd done his best to help people in need, using his skills to keep them safe from those that would have done them harm. There had been a few close calls, some harrowing escapes and he'd witnessed some truly terrible things as well but he was not haunted by trials of those times.  Unpleasant feelings tended to slide over him like oil, unable to stick.  He'd also had the fortune not to lose anyone close to him.  His own family had come through the war unscathed.  Beck only had a vague idea of what Joanna had gone through.  She had stayed at the Ministry, even when it was infiltrated by Dark Wizards which had been either an incredibly stupid or brave thing to do - he was inclined to believe the latter.  Never once had a doubted her courage.  If he knew her at all, she probably would've been trying to help people too.

But what on earth was Joanna talking about?  Who were ‘they’ and ‘them’?  What had she had to tell her grandparents?  Beck felt quite confused… then all of a sudden something clicked into place in his mind and he saw the truth with awful clarity.  She said she lives with her dad, not her parents.  Her mum was a Muggleborn…  And every time she mentions her brother, she flinches.  Beck believed he must be the biggest idiot on the face of the earth to have missed something so important until now.  There had been so many casualties in the war but he had not realised that members of Joanna’s family had been among those lost.  He had not been in regular contact with the Hit Witch since leaving the Ministry before the war – for which he largely blamed himself for being an inconsistent pen pal – and even then, in the common manner of those who had seen those dark days and survived them, they had not discussed the war.

But Joanna’s mother and brother?!?

“By Merlin’s saggy left testicle!”  He swore loudly when Joanna finished speaking, the awfulness of everything she had just said finally hitting him hard like punch to the face.  A few heads around the pub turned to glare at him and he sheepishly mouthed apologies to appease them.  It wasn’t like he’d really known Joanna’s family on a personal level but he felt completely blindsided by the realisation that her mother and brother were dead.  Robert had actually been in his year at school, although they’d never gotten along quite as well as he had with Joanna.  Normally Beck liked surprises but this wasn’t a fun little gap in his knowledge, this felt like something he should have known.  This had to be the slowest he had ever been to catch on.  I’m such an ignorant, insensitive idiot!. 

Joanna had just poured her heart out to him and all he could do was blurt out an expletive about Merlin’s reproductive organs?  What’s wrong with me?  He hastened to refill Joanna’s glass at her request and accidentally slopped some wine on the table.  Passing the glass over to her by the stem, he quickly reached into his pocket for his wand to clean up the mess.  Unfortunately in his haste, he knocked over his own wine glass which spilled all down the front of his robes.  It took him a few minutes to sort everything out and by the time he did the waitress had returned and was waiting impatiently with their food.  “Could we get another bottle of this wine please.”  He asked politely, with a smile that tried to promise that there would be no further disruptive outbursts or spills on his part.  Taking the plates, he placed the one with a baked potato and salad in front of Joana and took his own with the steak and a generous pile of mashed potatoes.

Aside from casual reassurances, Beck didn’t really know how to comfort people.  His experience and skills in that area came mainly from dealing with crowd control and handling disgruntled or distressed persons in the context of his security work.  But none of those techniques seemed appropriate for a friend.  When it came to his own family Beck provided support by way of hugs, a good ear to listen and copious amounts of breakfast food.   So the 30-year-old was now flat out of ideas.  He'd already been listening, it didn't seem like Joanna would welcome a she hug and he couldn't exactly offer to make her waffles...  Or could he?  No.  If anything was going to give Joanna the wrong idea, offering to make her breakfast certainly would.  Besides they had dinner in front of them now.

When he'd first asked, he'd hoped that Joanna’s problem would be something he could fix.  After all there was nothing that couldn't be solved if enough people put their heads together!  But unfortunately she’d been right.  There was no magic in the world that could change what had happened.  There was no way to bring back those that were lost nor to even remove all of the scars from those who remained. 

“Well…  I could help you with your Patronus if you like.”  He offered lamely with a shrug of his shoulders.  “I’m sure we could find a way to work past your block, though you might be surprised to find that your Patronus could take a different form than the one you were used to." As he understood it, emotional trauma could have that kind of effect.  It made sense considering that the charm drew it's power from the casters emotional state.  Such a change would actually be quite fascinating to observe.  His demeanor grew more enthusiastic again as he considered how to approach the challenge of restoring Joanna's Patronus.  "What did it used to be?" He enquired with blatant curiosity.  It had been too long for him to confidently recall the form.  "I think your Patronus would have to be something fierce and strong, like you." He tilted his head towards her in a complimentary fashion and tipped her a wink.  "And beautiful too." He added after a moment's pause.  Beck grinned happily across the table at her, not immediately realising that last part (which had only meant to be part of his internal dialogue) had beenspoken outloud.  Oh well, it's out now..  His eyes flicked quickly between Joanna's face and his meal as he picked up a knife and fork and started to casually cut into his steak.  He was interested to see her reaction to his little slip up.

Her jaw dropped slightly at Graeme’s outburst, and she looked at him in complete silence for several seconds before a wave of hilarity rose over her and Joanna burst out laughing. And not quiet, polite laughter that could be controlled or contained, but gasping sobs. The kind that put colour on her cheeks and left her struggling to breathe. She rocked forward slightly in her seat, burying her mouth into her hands, trying to even out the peals. She knew part of it was a coping mechanism, but the other part. Well the other part was just astonishment that Graeme had just yelled out testicles in public. How mature. On both their parts.

She laughed all the way through his display with the wine, unable to stop herself even though since when was split wine so funny? And was still taking rasping deep breaths as the waitress returned with the food. Her entire body shaking with laughter, she could only try and nod her thanks at both the waitress and Graeme for the food and wine as they were set in front of her. It was almost as if it had been waiting to come bursting out of her, and now that it was there was no ‘off’ switch. She was sure that they both looked insane. Her in hysterical laughter, him covered in wine and swearing. She was also sure that Graeme would be thinking she was insane. Who burst into laughter after talking about the war? Clearly not someone who was in complete control of their senses.

Trying to take deep breathes in order to regain her senses, Joanna couldn’t look at Graeme. She was convinced that even a glance would cause her to erupt once more. However, she was also convinced that Graeme would be looking at her as if she was a crazy person, and for some reason that she did not really want to identify, the thought of Graeme thinking that was unbearable. “Sorry,” she stuttered out in-between breaths before descending into titters again. This was ridiculous, why couldn’t she stop!?!

Eventually, after maybe a minute so of breathing through her arms, eyes attempting to focus on a knot of wood on the table for lack of anything else, Joanna was able to remove her hand from her mouth and breathe normally. She spent a few seconds with her gaze on the baked potato in front of her before almost sheepishly raising them in Graeme’s direction. Joanna hoped that they adequately displayed the warning she was yelling in her head Don’t you dare comment about any of this! He was the one that had pried into her best-not-talked-about past, he could not also question her slightly emotional reactions to that talk.

Using the silence that had fallen at the table to pick up her fork and stab some lettuce onto it, maybe she used more force to impale the leaf than was necessary, but this had not exactly been the conversation path she had envisaged when she had gone over potential scenarios for their chat. And certainly she had thought of many ways that it was going to fail, but somehow her in hysterical fits of laughter had never come up. Of course it had been doomed out with of the limited number of ways she had dreamed up in her head! She eagerly took a delicate bite of her lettuce, consciously making sure she did so elegantly, as if food in her mouth would stop her from continuing this path.

And then Graeme said something even funnier and it was all she could do not to choke on her salad.

Fierce and strong!

Oh Merlin! Joanna swallowed quickly, and followed it with a large drink of wine. She almost missed his beauty comment but unfortunately her ears did not and she was left completely flustered. Did he realise how off board he was? Like, in all senses. Realising her wine glass was still in her hand, she placed it carefully back down on the table. It wouldn’t do for both of them to have an accident after all. “I don’t think I would call a duck any of those things,” she began with a smile on her face, regaining control of the power of speech “although, each to their own!” Graeme’s compliment had been clearly that. A compliment, nothing for her to examine and analyse further, although, her brain assured her, she would definitely be doing so once she was home for the night.

“Yes,” she added finally. “It would certainly be useful, not that we have many dealings with dementors these days.” Her face pulled into a tight scowl at this fact. She would like to deal with dementors if it meant that the scum in Azkaban also had to deal with them. “I have certainly been meaning to but unfortunately I can’t really just stick myself in training for it!” Joanna laughed at that, imagine the Lead Hit Witch abandoning the department for an unset amount of time to go work on a non-essential spell! She could only imagine the chaos that would ensue in her absence, and exactly who would be left in charge? It was not as if the other senior employees were not just as overworked as she, and each had their own areas of expertise and responsibility.

This was why the squad desperately needed new recruits. Oh. Joanna had been waiting for the topic to come up naturally and here it was. Oh Merlin, this was it. She would be abandoned with food in front of her! Very nice food she acknowledged, enjoying the dressing that was on the salad. Despite the turn the conversation had taken, Joanna had enjoyed her chat with Graeme. She supposed she could kiss his dinner invitation good bye after this.

Unwilling to let the conversation end right that second Joanna quietened. She could certainly let him reply before she asked her favour. It would give her some more time to enjoy his presence. This would certainly be the only meal she shared with her ex-colleague after she asked.

At least Joanna seemed cheered up.  Beck wasn’t entirely sure how he’d managed it but was glad to see her returned to good spirits.  Perhaps acting like a complete buffoon had done it?  That was something he’d have to examine that later – using humour as a helper.  After a moment he started laughing too.  It was a bit absurd but if she wasn’t going to comment on his outburst or clumsiness, then he was not about to question this unexpected episode of hilarity.  Besides, she had a very nice laugh, even when she was trying to smother it.  He looked around the room, daring any of the other patrons to complain but no one seemed to be bothered.  Clearly her laughter was less offensive than his loud exclamation about testicles. 

“A duck!  That’s right!”  Beck shook his head at himself, a little annoyed that he had forgotten.  For some strange reason he’d been picturing some kind of wildcat.  Still, a duck was perfectly lovely and suited her just fine.  She hadn’t reacted to his ‘beautiful’ comment, which was both a relief and a disappointment.  He tried to push that from his mind.  “Well, the duck is still a… majestic creature in its own right.”  Surely there was something favourable he could say about ducks?  He searched his mind.  “Ah, you’ve got to respect their adaptability.  Ducks can be found near both fresh water and sea water, on every continent in the world, except Antarctica.  They’re omnivores and very resilient to the cold – except for well Antarctica, which would make for frozen ducks…”  Beck lost his train of thought briefly and took a bite of his steak before continuing.  “Ah yes and did you know that a mother duck will pluck out her own down feathers to help make a soft nest for her babies?  Speaking of which, ducklings are one of the few types of baby animals that can be independent almost immediately after hatching.”  It turns out that Beck knew more about ducks than he realised, and they were actually pretty cool.  “Also ducks are incredibly vigilant and have a good sense for danger.  Mallard ducks can stay alert even when they doze - they actually sleep with one eye open!  Plus, ducks are pretty cute.  So there you go.”  Finished with his random duck trivia, he shrugged and gave Joanna a smile. 

“But really, I’d be pleased to help you train.  That’s if you’re not too busy Ms Lead Hit-Witch.  I’m sure there’s a lot of important paperwork you’d rather be doing.”  He spoke teasingly while he dug into his mashed potatoes with relish.  Beck would never believe that Joanna would really ever consider herself too self-important to participate in training.  Most likely she really had been too busy if she’d let the matter go this long.  Plus they probably didn’t have anyone decent around to provide assistance at the Ministry.  He could only imagine what kind of people were still left working there.  “What’s the squad like these days?”  He enquired conversationally.  “Have you got anyone even remotely competent?”  It was no secret that he didn’t hold most Ministry employees in very high regard so he made no effort to conceal his slightly disparaging tone.  Reaching for the bottle of wine on the table, he tipped what was left into his empty glass and took a large sip.  It was much more pleasant in his mouth than on his robes.  Hopefully the waitress would be along shortly with a new bottle.  He wanted Joanna to be able to enjoy as much wine as she wanted. 

Joanna listened to Graeme go on (and on) about ducks with a smile on her face. Did he think she was upset about the form that her patronus had once taken? To be perfectly honest, Joanna had never really put much thought into it. It was a duck and it had worked. End of story. Now it was no longer a duck and no longer worked, so there was no need to analyse what it had once been. Sure, there had been the occasional comment about why her patronus was a duck, but most people were too busy to spend too long dwelling on the issue. And, Joanna was fairly certain, no one knew as much information about ducks as Graeme seemed to. Once he’d finished she raised her glass in a silent toast to him, “well, I can’t say I knew any of that. I’ve always just said it was because I liked ducks as a child.”

She would have been happy to let him talk about ducks for longer if he had wanted. Each to their own and all that, but he, almost thankfully, moved on. Joanna would have been completely unable to contribute to a conversation regarding duck facts. Unless it veered into the culinary territory. Duck with cherry glaze was lovely in winter.

“I really would love that,” Joanna interjected, although she narrowed her eyes at his jab about paperwork. Yes, they all knew he hated paperwork. It still didn’t stop it from being very important. “Would I have to call you Professor?” The words were out her mouth before the implication of what they meant hit her brain. She had meant it to be friendly teasing, not flirtatious, but it seemed that, once again, her mouth had gotten ahead of her. She looked at him straight on with wide eyes and a slightly open mouth. Oh Merlin, what had she just done? Trying to power forwards, Joanna looked down and focused on cutting up her baked potato into multiple pieces, mixing the potato in with the salad, as she regained her normal skin tone. It was fine, it was all fine.

“It’s a mess,” Joanna stated flatly, moving on with the conversation. “The whole of M.L.E. is to be honest, but I swear the squad is the worst affected.” She wondered how much she should say, and if she should edit any parts to maybe encourage Graeme to help her. Ultimately though, Joanna stuck with honesty. It was the best policy after all. “We took major hits during the war. Many fled,” Joanna held very mixed opinions on them and had welcomed those that returned back with a sour taste in her mouth, “many of those that were loyal either quit or were arrested. There were those that didn’t survive and then those we found out actually supported the evil regime.” She grimaced at the last one, having had to rethink opinions on colleagues that she had worked with for years and thought that she knew.

“It meant that we were left with a significantly depleted squad which the powers that be decided to place in my hands. Like an unexploded firecracker,” She cupped her hands in front of her as if holding something, and then flashed them open, mimicking an explosion. “‘Oh, it’s your responsibility now Joanna! We have faith in you.’” Joanna smiled, and slightly batted her hands to show she was joking. “Well… it wasn’t exactly like that, but you know. Seniority means decision maker, and the lack of people left meant that I had seniority. Something that I should have been at least ten years away from.” It was not as if she regretted getting the promotion though. Joanna was fiercely proud of her job title. “I really can’t complain though. I enjoy being in charge. You know how bad I am at taking orders!”

“Anyway, so following the initial clear up, the entry requirements for all positions were lowered.” Joanna’s face clearly expressed what a stupid idea she had found that decision. “It was decided that if you had participated in fighting against the Death Eaters then you automatically qualified to start auror training.” Joanna just assumed Graeme would agree with her about the idiocy of that, “yeah, I couldn’t believe it either. It was a shoddy plan and ill thought out.” She shrugged and continued. You can’t change the past after all. “So, the aurors were flooded with new recruits. After all, who wants to be part of the boring hit squad when you can be a glory seeking auror, right?” Joanna winked.

“But, because their stupid plan meant that these recruits had to still go through the same training, most of them failed. Because, surprisingly,” the sarcasm seemed to be dripping of Joanna’s tongue as she spoke, “managing to stay alive in an attack of a school does not immediately prepare you for the rigours of auror training. So most dropped out.” She frowned, “and they dropped out so overwhelmed by the entire thing that an invitation for a more appropriate level of training, ie. from me, was too daunting to consider.” Hopefully Graeme was picking up her feelings on the matter from her tone. She certainly was not trying to hide it.

“And the lowered entry requirements for the hit squad meant that we received recruits who could not cast a simple shield charm in a padded room with the promise of tea and biscuits, never mind in an actual situation.” She really did not like some of the newest recruits. Idiots, the lot of them. “I sometimes feel like a glorified babysitter. I spend more time trying to keep them safe than I do doing my actual job.” She paused, “though I suppose part of my job is to keep them safe.”

Joanna looked at Graeme in the eyes, hands on the table in front of her to show she had nothing to hide. Her entire pose tried to scream open and honest. “This is the part where I need to ask you a favour and you hopefully listen and don’t run away…” It was up to him now, she could only hope that he would hear her out and that their entire time together would not be ruined because of it.

Would I have to call you Professor?

Beck just about choked on his mouthful of food.  Swallowing quickly he took a large gulp of wine to wash it down.  He regarded Joanna carefully and for all appearances she seemed just as surprised as he was by her flirty tone.  A wide grin came unbidden to his face, almost a smirk.  His voice dropped low as he replied in an equally suggestive tone, "Only if you wanted to.”  One brow raised questioningly at his companion, as if to say – is that what you want from me?  His thoughts always had a way of getting away from him but he willed himself not to consider such lurid fantasies.  Not Joanna?  Laughing lightly he then tried to shrug it off as a joke.  Continuing casually in what he hoped was just a normal friendly tone, he added “Maybe you could give me some feedback on my teaching skills?”  Yes, that was a perfectly harmless proposition for two friends to help each other out.

It was at that point that Beck realised he was laying the basis for spending a lot more time with this lovely witch.  Since he found her company very enjoyable, he quite looked forward to the prospect.  However, his instincts till cautioned him not to get too carried away.  Their friendly banter so far had already been toeing the line between friendship and something more complicated.  He was still convinced that such a relationship with Joanna would be very unwise.  Yet… he was always open to being proven wrong. 

Smiling pleasantly, Beck listened with satisfaction to how the Ministry and the Department of Magical Law Enforcement were in shambles.  It really shouldn’t please him that they were struggling in the wake of the war, but the institution represented one of the few things in the world that he actively disliked.  Aside from a few notable exceptions – like Joanna herself – he did not hold any Ministry employees in very high regard.  He still held a bit of a grudge that so many at the Ministry had wilfully clung to ignorance in the lead up to the war, refusing to let him even investigate claims of the Dark Lord’s return during what could have been a vital time to prevent his rise to power.  While he could appreciate that he now had the benefit of hindsight to justify his feelings about those days – in which he himself he not been entirely convinced of Dumbledore’s story – it did not change how disdainfully he felt about people who actively sought to be ignorant.  He had no respect for those who were happy sticking their heads in the sand.  Ignorance is not bliss!  It’s just stupidity. 

Joanna’s description of her department as an unexploded firecracker was particularly entertaining.  He chuckled happily as he watched her miming it out.  “Well, at least they can do that much right!”  Beck responded enthusiastically.  Pointing at the Lead Hit-Witch with his fork, he continued his endorsement of her role.  “I can’t think of anyone’s hands the squad would be better in.”  He nodded agreeably to her statement about being bad at taking orders.  That was something they’d always had in common.  Beck could imagine that being in charge would suit her a lot better than being under the command of someone else.

He snorted derisively as she described how the entry requirements for law enforcement positions had been lowered.  Beck recalled hearing something about that and at the time had thought it was a completely daft idea.  The stringent requirements were there for a reason.  The training was very difficult and not everyone was suited to it – even those kids that had managed themselves well in the war.  "Glory seeking Aurors?"  He raised an eyebrow in amusement.  “Well, they would have all been quite disappointed.  The work’s actually pretty dull.”  As a fresh graduate from Hogwarts he’d had a similar perception of Aurors and that was why he had signed up in the first place, expecting it to be exciting.  Unfortunately, he had quickly discovered that it was actually quite boring.  It seemed that the department just had a good PR team or something because people continued to believe that Aurors spent all of their time out on wild adventures and duelling dark wizards - when in reality it was a lot of sifting through paperwork and waiting for leads.

The DADA Professor shook his head sadly as Joanna reminded him of the prevalent lack of any skill with basic shield charms in the wizarding community.  It was a very important, downright essential magic to have in his opinion and it was something he was determined that his students would be experts at before he was through with them.  “I can assure you that no one is ever going to leave my classroom without being able to cast a decent shield.”  Beck stated firmly and confidently while stabbing another piece of steak onto his fork.

"Ah, I was wondering when we were going to get to that..." He grinned widely, tipping his head in a knowing way as Joanna got around to mentioning her need for a favour.  The 30-year-old raised his hands in a placating gesture to make it clear that it didn’t bother him.  He really didn't mind that she'd had an alternative motive for this meeting and was eager to resolve the mystery of what that was.  "It's ok.  What do you need?"  Already his mind was racing ahead, trying to guess from the context of their conversation what she was going to ask for. 

Does she want me to train her new recruits?

Well, that raised more questions than answers. Did she want to call Graeme Professor? Joanna wasn’t sure. Although vaguely horrified at herself for her flirtatious comment, she wasn’t exactly against flirting with him. Add the fact that he had responded in like… She may not be skilled in flirting, preferring a more direct approach, but she wasn’t incompetent. And Graeme seemed to on board with this style of banter. It was just, well… Joanna did not exactly approve of the idea of a role-play of teacher and student being sexualised in any way.

It sat ill with her that anyone could consider an imbalance of power in an interchange an appropriate place for that. The thought of even play acting naughty school girl made her want to launch into a lecture about equal partnerships and power dynamics and the importance of not abusing positions. And this was not the right place for her to stand on her soapbox. Yes, she wanted to reply to him suggestively, but she just couldn’t do it with the current topic. Not without swallowing down bile. Joanna felt pained for a way to respond, trying to think of something that didn’t have her coming across as a harpy, when Graeme continued. She left out a breath of relief, and smiled. Back of equal footing. This she could handle.

“Oh, I’d be happy to,” Joanna replied eagerly. “I don’t know much of teaching theories, after all, I’m not responsible for the delivery of training, but I can easily look some up and see what is effective.” New skills, Joanna loved this topic. Information fascinated her. “There is a working theory these days that children learn better in a creative, free environment, which turns into inquisitive learning as they develop and interact more with both the physical and social world.” Information that had gone straight into Joanna’s brain from a late night documentary that had been on her grandparent’s TV. “There’s a large push in muggle early years education to encourage this rather than structured play.”

“Whereas, obviously, adults are more interested in goal-orientated tasks and so the resulting style is probably more structured with more emphasis on results.” Joanna paused for breath before continuing. Her enthusiasm on the topic had meant that her word speed was faster than her usual, steady tone and her voice had risen slightly in excitement. “We obviously use clear goals for squad training, but I’m not exactly sure how it’s structured anymore.” She contemplated, “I can easily ask for the training files though. If I had the time I would go observe a session, but that’s obviously not going to happen. Maybe this would help to reinvigorate refresher trainings though.” She thought of the disaster of a creature handling course that she had recently made the squad undergo. They had sat in a room for the day and listened to the speaker talk. Once it was over everyone signed their attendance and fled, glad to leave. “What style are you currently taking with the children? Do you vary it depending on level?” She asked, hand already absent mindedly scrabbling for a quill before she realised what she was doing.

“Oh.” Joanna paused and let out a small laugh, letting her hand come to a rest. “Or I could just like shut up and accept the help you’re offering without getting all ‘aargh’ about it!” With the ‘aargh’ Joanna had raised her hands to shake them about in the air, a less showy version of jazz hands, to emphasise her over-enthusiasm on the matter. She let out another self deprecating laugh. “Guess I’m just excited that Hogwarts now has a Professor that actually cares about teaching skills rather than just doing whatever takes their fancy!” She had a very low opinion on the competence of teaching staff at Hogwarts. It was an opinion she didn’t exactly hide very hard. The school really should be inspected once in a while…

As expected, Graeme merrily agreed with her opinion on the state of things at the Ministry. Of course, she wasn’t surprised. First of all, her opinion was right so any intelligent person would agree. Secondly, Graeme had left on bad terms, and clearly still was not fond of the place, so anything negative about it was a positive for him. “I am glad, there’s too many people who cannot do a simple shield spell.” She paused, unwilling to get too excited about it, “however, with shield charms having not been taught until OWL year and Defence not being mandatory following that, then I’m afraid there’s a large deficit and some will slip through the cracks.” Joanna smiled then, considering what was available. “The Weasley twins, you might have been slightly too old to remember how much trouble they were at Hogwarts? But, they managed to make an excellent line of shield charm infused clothing. Like, I couldn’t find a design fault in them.” Joanna actually found it amusing that a joke shop was able to produce such useful items. Even if stepping into the shop sometimes felt like taking your life in your hands.

Leaving her posture open, Joanna was still surprised when Graeme seemed to be expecting her to ask for something. Was she that transparent? Not about to comment or argue in any way since she was just happy he was willing to hear her out, she began talking, trying not to sound too much like a bumbling buffoon. “Well, we’ve had such a downturn in applications for the squad over the past few years. And it’s not as though it’s dung shovelling. Like, I’m sure people would apply, if they knew to.” She paused, to look slightly more beseeching before continuing. “I have no faith that the career advice that is currently being given at Hogwarts is a true reflection of the careers on offer. I mean, there’s absolutely no follow through regarding it, and it is entirely carried out by Heads of Houses.” No Joanna, do not rant, be nice and ask. “In muggle schools, career advice comes from advisers that are outwith the school and… nope, not important.” Do not rant!

“Anyway, I was wondering if you would be able to use your position to maybe educate the students that auror isn’t the only career path available for those that enjoy defence?” Joanna drew the sentence out slightly before continuing, her gaze still focused on Graeme. “I mean, obviously my goal is to promote the hit squad as an option. The pay isn’t bad, it’s stable work and obviously,” she paused slightly to jokingly flick her hair across her shoulder, “it has the best boss. But like, you must have options too from the private sector? Surely they deserve to know these rather than stumbling forward only really knowing one?” Favour asked, she folded her hands, but made no move to continue with her meal. “What do you think?”

Joanna really was wonderful.  He couldn’t believe he’d not seen it all those years ago.  Beck was delighted by her clear excitement about the topic of education.  For someone who claimed not to know much about teaching theories, she had a lot to say.  He listened eagerly as she spoke, the smile on his face growing wider and wider as her speech increased in speed and volume.  Is this what I look like to other people?, he wondered idly.  She seemed to be engaged in the type of zealous rambling he was so often guilty of.  He doubted that anyone could ever lose patience with her though or consider her conversation tedious.  There was this light and energy in her eyes; her face; her whole demeanour.  It was beautiful – and incredibly attractive. 

Yet she seemed almost embarrassed by her own enthusiasm.  “No, please Joanna.  Don’t ever feel like you need to hold back around me.”  He spoke sincerely, meeting her eyes with his. “I love it when you get all ‘aargh’!”.  Raising his hands, he shook them in a good-natured imitation of her gesture.  Again he chuckled merrily, happy in Joanna’s company.  Then he reflected that the muscles in his face and abdomen must be getting a good workout from all this smiling and laughing – so he laughed some more. 

“Oh, I’ll still do whatever I fancy.”  He teased playfully, suspecting how she felt about the Hogwarts professors in general.  “It’s just lucky for the kids that I fancy being a good teacher.”  Joanna had made some points about teaching methods for children as compared to adults, which he considered before responding to her query about his ’style’.  “I do try to take a less formal approach with the kids than I used to with my adult trainees.  I want them to have fun and enjoy coming to class.”  Even the most well-planned lessons wouldn’t account to much if no one wanted to be there.  “It’s important to me to tailor my teaching methods to the individual students so that no one is left behind – or held back – from learning.”  Beck really wanted every one of his students to meet their full potential.  It was an ambitious goal given how many students he had but he liked a challenge.  “And I don’t just want to teach them how to do spells, I want to teach them how to use them.  They need to know how to assess and respond to danger appropriately.”  He added with enthusiasm. 

As much as he would love to talk about teaching all night, he still wanted to know more about Joanna’s work.  At her mention of the Weasley’s, he did vaguely remember some red-haired kids at Hogwarts back in the day.  Whether they were the twins she was referring to, he wasn’t sure.  However, he did know about the range of shielded products on the market because of them.  “They have that joke store?  Yes, they have quite popularised the use of shield charms on clothing.  It became quite a regular request of my client’s to apply shields to their favourite hats or outfits.”  As far as Beck knew, the only complaints he had ever heard about the Weasley’s shielded clothing was that some customers wished for more fashionable variety. 

Joanna seemed to be concerned that her request for a favour would upset him and it turned out that she was not completely unjustified in making that assumption.  “Right.”  Beck said in a flinty tone, his demeanour having grown stony as he listed to Joanna’s petition.  Taking a deep breath he reminded himself to be open-minded.  He needed to be receptive to what she was saying and not let his personal feelings get in the way of considering things objectively.  She had approached the topic very tactfully but he couldn’t help interpreting her words as a literal request for him to recruit for the Ministry – a prospect that he did not like at all.  Sitting back he crossed his arms over his chest and stayed silent for several minutes while he thought it over. 

Personally, he thought that private security work was far more rewarding than working for the Ministry – whether as an Auror or part of the Hit Squad.  However, he did agree that such services as the Department of M.L.E. provided were essential, given that not everyone could afford to pay for the assistance of private security.  So he didn't resent the Ministry's purpose, just their inefficiency and ineptitude.  Joanna was right about one thing at least – they needed people.  And they needed good people if things were ever going to get better.

Would he stand in the way of matters improving just because he held a grudge?  While he doubted he could have that much influence on his student’s career choices, he disliked the idea of preventing progress of any sort.  Joanna seemed to have known just what buttons to push.  Stumbling forward without knowing all of the options, really?  “Honestly, I feel like you’ve put me in a difficult position.  I don’t enjoy the idea of encouraging young people to sign up to join an institution that is largely made up of the incompetent and corrupt.  However, you know that I could never intentionally withhold any information.  My personal feelings have no bearing on it.” He sighed and uncrossed his arms, running a hand through his hair instead.  "And if the Ministry is ever going to improve, it needs good people - like you." If they had 100 Joanna’s instead of just one, it would be a much better place. 

“I don’t know if it’s something that I can bring up directly in class, as career advice is primarily the jurisdiction of the Heads of House…  I can discuss it with the Headmistress.  Perhaps if you have some phamplets or posters, I can look into making them available to those who might be interested.  I’m not making any promises, other than that I will make sure that the students are availed of all of their options.”  He wanted to be clear on the fact that he didn't intend to be a promoter for just the Hit Squad.

Not wanting to let a mere difference of opinion about careers ruin what was otherwise a very enjoyable night, Beck let his expression soften and smiled across at Joanna.  "I can't say that it's what I would want for any of them but at least I'll know that if they choose that path, they'll have a good boss." A beautiful and intelligent boss. Beck hadn't wanted personal feelings to influence his response but he reflected that if it had been anyone else asking, he would have taken a lot more convincing.

Continuing in a conversational tone he then added, "Unfortunately for both of us, I’m not given the impression that there’s a lot of interest in defence careers at all really.” He poked idly at the food left on his plate.  From what he'd heard from the students so far, there was significantly more interest in things like art and sports.  It seemed to make sense that in a peacetime after  war, young people were looking forwards to more enjoyable things.  “So I hope you weren't only interested in me for my job.”  He jested, tipping Joanna a flirty wink.

Did Graeme think that teaching standards were a laughing matter? The education of the future generation was nothing to joke about, and if not for her usual lack of reaction, Joanna was sure Graeme would have been able to see how unimpressed she was at his attempt at humour. There was just certain things that you did not kid around about. Education, given how lax the standards were for it already, was one of them. Nonetheless he managed to continue away from his initial ‘joke’ and Joanna was vaguely satisfied by his explanation. Only vaguely, because she was still smarting over his previous comment. She nodded in agreement at his sentiments, but didn’t comment further.

Watching his reaction to her favour was terrifying. The pause seemed to stretch on and Joanna felt caught in ‘fight-or-flight’ mode, part of her wanting to interrupt the silence to build her case, the other wanting to run away before she could be struck by rejection. It had been a stupid thing to ask, she berated herself. His feelings on the Ministry would make it impossible for him to understand the logic and sense of what she was asking. Honestly, emotions could be so inconvenient!

In the silence Joanna was frozen, looking like a body just hit by Avada Kedavra before it slumped to the ground. Although impatient for Graeme’s response, Joanna forced herself to relax and casually take a sip of her drink. It would probably not be great to look like she was hanging on to his potential reply. Yes, a lot rested on it, but if - or when - he said no, Joanna would persevere. She would find another way. Even if it meant persuading Public Relations that what they needed was to set up a stall at Hogsmeade. They could give away free things, students loved free things, and target the older students as they went about their visit.

They could even set up some sort of reaction game and leaderboard. That would encourage students to participate. Back up plan forming in her head, Joanna almost missed when Graeme started speaking. She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from replying. Incompetent and corrupt! Now, Joanna knew there were employees that were not qualified to be there. She knew there were lazy slackers that created more work for everyone else. She herself preached that they should be fired. But a majority? The majority that worked for the Ministry, and there was a lot of people that worked for the Ministry, were hardworking people who did the best they could.

And was Graeme forgetting that the Ministry was the biggest employer in the British magical world? A lot of students would end up there post-graduation, whether they wanted to or not. All Joanna was suggesting was directing those that considered auror training the way to go into hit squad training instead. To prevent disappointment and disillusionment down the path. The compliment sailed over Joanna’s head. The Ministry already had good people, it just needed more. And it needed them in the right places.

Although Joanna had leaflets in her bag, she was struck by the insight that pulling them out and handing them over there and then probably would not go down particularly well. “I can arrange that,” she said in what she hoped was a neutral tone. He had, without meaning to, reminded her that the often unqualified and entirely unsuitable Professors held the entire future of the British magical community in their hands. It was on their whims that students learned and received information. If they took against something, there was no checks in place to ensure it was still mentioned. It was so easy for them to leave massive gaps in the knowledge base that young witches and wizards went into the world with. And it simply wasn’t right.

She kept quiet. Even though part of her wanted to jump up and down and rage about the state of affairs, Joanna kept her mouth shut and smiled in response to Graeme’s compliment. It was a sweet thing to say, and she would have usually gotten flustered over it, but she was still unimpressed with his comments. And that was the main focus of her mind. How could someone as intelligent and worldly as Graeme also be so… so ignorant!

Not a lot of interest in defence careers!

They were children, children who had probably not had very informative career meetings. It was very unlikely that they were interested in anything other than what they already knew. She was sure that all the Hogwarts’ quidditch players held hopes of going professional. That would happen when the next national sport was pigs playing quidditch! So they would then have to think of other options. And that was when defence might enter their minds. Honestly, Joanna thought, they didn’t have to think the hit squad was a dream option. It was just a realistic one!

She laughed merrily in response to his joke, although could admit privately that it wasn’t completely untrue. This meeting had been to ask for the favour. And with Graeme’s response, Joanna could feel her mood souring towards him. She was still happy to be there, but felt significantly less patient and willing to joke around. Part of her wanted to correct all his errors of judgement, and another part of her wanted to tell him to forget the whole thing and she would go with her booth option instead. Actually, the more she thought about it, the more she decided that it could be a valid option. There could certainly be no interference from teaching staff if it occurred during a Hogsmeade visit.

“Well,” she replied in a similar tone, deciding to move the conversation on and hopefully improve her mood. “I don’t know what else would interest me.” She returned the wink. “I mean, this has been positively torturous. I’d clearly rather take a Crucio than have a nice dinner with a friend.” Joanna took another mouthful of food, swallowing it quickly. They should probably change the subject. Best move past the large difference in opinion before she said something and they quarrelled.

“I read your book.” She eventually settled on, throwing a look of mock astonishment in his direction. “I was almost impressed. How in Merlin’s name did you manage to sit down long enough to write that?”

Joanna had stayed conspicuously silent, only confirming that she would arrange for phamplets to be provided to him.  She kept her face and tone neutral, making it difficult for him to tell exactly how she felt about his response.  However, he had a hunch that it wasn't favourable.  He waited, expecting some sort of counter-argument or passionate response but it did not come.  Beck was a little disappointed.  Oh Joanna.  I told you not to hold back around me.  He found it much more attractive when she spoke her mind.

At least she seemed to react well to his joke, laughing naturally.  Joanna even winked back at him, causing his heart to race for a moment.  He wasn't sure comparing dinner with him to torture by an unforgivable curse was a good thing but it startled a laugh from him anyway.  Beck had not been expecting dark humour from his companion.

At this point he was unsure whether Joanna was even going to stick around.  She'd asked her favour, received a response that was most likely unsatisfactory and was surely growing tired of conversing with him.  Beck was curious to see whether she'd drag out the courtesies of finishing dinner with him (dessert too?) or make some excuse for an early exit.  He'd thought there had been some rapport between them, some energy, but he was open to being wrong.

He was pleased then when the next words she spoke were to question him on his book.  "Only almost impressed?"  He replied with imitated dismay, gripping his chest with one hand.  "I'm hurt!"  Chuckling then, he decided to take her words literally.   "Well, I also wrote some of it standing up.  Or lying down!"  Beck could understand her meaning.  It had been difficult to compile his erratic thoughts into one concise and comprehensible volume.  It had taken him quite a long time to bring together.

"Did you like it then?  Do you want me to autograph your copy?"  He asked cheekily, his eyes twinkling.  "My sister wants me to write another one.  Should I include you in the dedication?  To my dearest fan, Joanna."  He mimed writing it in the air.  Of course it was all in jest.  Beck wasn't actually that conceited.  Half the reason it had taken him so long to write his book is that he kept re-writing it, not being happy with the quality.  There was always room for improvement.  Even if he read it again now, Beck was sure he could find something that he could write better.

“Another one?” She couldn’t help but ask, her fork pausing mid-air. “But do you want to?” His sister certainly seemed to have a lot of expectations for him, was that normal or was the witch just slightly overbearing? Joanna supposed that she would find out at their dinner when it occurred. If it was still going to occur. The entire career conversation might have put Graeme off the whole idea. She would wait for him to raise it again but otherwise stay silent. After all, he would be the one organising it, all she had to do was turn up.

“I did like it,” she admitted. “You managed to make it easy to read and provide step by step instructions so as to simplify defence to the masses. That was impressive. Hopefully it makes a difference.” Joanna mused. The wizarding community could always do with some help in brushing up their defensive knowledge, and hopefully Graeme’s book had encouraged that. She tilted her head to the side, “has it been well received? Are you on your way to the top of the bestseller’s list?” He certainly deserved to be, the book clearly had had a lot of time and dedication put into it. Joanna was still in awe that he had actually succeeded in writing it. She took a final bite of her meal as she looked at him, trying to analyse his response. He certainly had had many adventures that made the read so compelling.

Swallowing her final mouthful, and washing it down with some wine, Joanna considered what to say. Would she dare? Maybe she was being completely wrong about reading the entire situation. After all, he only called her a fan, that wasn’t very encouraging for a more intimate relationship. But, in the end, despite the voice in her head screaming at her to shut up, she couldn’t help herself. Fear of rejection and humiliation was awful, but she had never let it stop her before and she wasn’t about to now. She began, a little shyly and with a few pauses around her words. Joanna expected that had she been a blusher she would have turned bright red. “Would you really dedicate a book to me? I mean, is there not anyone else...” Trailing off at the end of her sentence, she raised her hand to flap it as if batting the words away. “Of course you were only joking about it. No worries!”

Eager to change topics from her epically dumb mention of the dedication, she fixed her gaze on his empty plate. “Are you done?” She questioned needlessly. Really Joanna, he wasn’t about to start munching on the china too! “Shall we get dessert?” She looked around to catch the waitress’ eye before stopping. “Wait, you already ordered apple pie!” She pointed out, “I’m sure the waitress will be here to deliver it at some point.” Gosh, her last five or six sentences had been awful. Ridiculously awkward and like she was a babbling cauldron rather than a grown up woman who was capable of self control. Determined to regain some semblance of her dignity back - why was she feeling this way around Graeme, she had never felt like this before - she laughed self deprecatingly. “This is weird isn’t it?” Joanna asked bluntly.

Games weren’t her thing. She couldn’t stand beating around the bush, and honestly she didn’t have time for not knowing what was going on. Being direct was something she valued, even if it terrified her completely. And she had reached the point where her annoyance at not knowing had overwhelmed her nerves. “It feels different to last time for some reason.” Joanna stated. The ‘last time’ in her mind was the last time that her and Graeme had seen each other. Years before. They had been friends then, but it felt like more now.

"Sure.  Why not? "  He shrugged non-chalantly.  Beck liked books well enough and once he got the hang of it writing wasn’t too difficult.  Personally he found the written word pretty limited compared to experiencing things in real life but not everyone could learn things by doing them.  It wasn't realistic or even safe for most people to build their skills the way he had - by throwing himself recklessly into dangerous situations.  At the end of the day, Beck loved to learn and took great satisfaction in sharing what he learned.  "Yeah, I'll probably write another book."  He confirmed more confidently.  "It's good to do something useful with what's in here."  With one forefinger he tapped his head and smiled.

Hopefully it makes a difference.  Was he out to make a difference?  Beck wasn’t sure.  He didn’t quite have Joanna’s idealism.  Sure, he believed strongly in improvement and progress, he hated ignorance, but he’d never gone out with any specific goal of making the world a better place.  As he saw it the world was just the world, it wasn’t really good or bad, so he wasn’t looking to change it.  There was no denying he had a definite leaning towards helping people but he’d never really thought about having a broader influence upon people’s lives through either his writing or his new position as a teacher.  Perhaps that was something he should be giving more consideration to.  It was just good to share what he knew.  Keeping it all to himself was wasteful and it would frankly be criminal to let all of the knowledge he had gathered be lost if something were ever to happen to him.  Beck was only mortal after all.  However, through books and teaching he might be able to build himself a sort of a lasting legacy. 

“It's not a best-seller but it's done pretty well for a first book.”  Beck admitted humbly.  He didn’t really care about the sales.  If it wouldn’t completely scandalise his sister he’d give the book out for free.  As it was he’d already donated copies to all of the public libraries despite her disapproval.  He believed that knowledge should always be freely shared.  Beck enjoyed learning and teaching and was not looking to make a profit from it.  He had simple tastes and no interest in accumulating massive wealth.  He’d rather be richer in experiences than coin. 

Joanna responded strangely to his joke about dedicating a book to her.  She became hesitant, almost shy, which seemed unusual for the normally poised and assertive witch.  Beck tilted his head as he watched her, trying to understand why she was behaving so strangely.  Would it really mean that much to her?  He’d happily dedicate a whole series of books to her if she liked and opened his mouth to say so when she added ’is there not anyone else?’.  There was something about that way she said it that caused him to stall.  She hadn’t suggested that he should dedicate his book to a family member; his parents, his sister or his nieces…  No, it sounded more like she was wondering whether he had anyone special in his life.  Joanna tried to wave away her comment but it had already sent his mind spinning.  “There’s no one.”  He said softly, confirming that he had no secret significant other he’d forgotten to mention.

She started to ramble slightly about the finalisation of their meal and then laughed, before abruptly remarking that things were weird.  It wasn’t exactly the word he would have used to describe it; unexpected or intriguing maybe.  He still felt very much at ease but he believed he knew what she meant.  There was a sort of tension between them that had never been there before.  Beck hadn’t intended for his thoughts or feelings for Joanna to have taken the direction that they had but it seemed clear from her comment that she had noticed his interest was not exactly platonic.

Joanna’s directness was refreshing.  It was very telling of her intelligence and maturity.  Meeting her eyes, he nodded.  “It’s different.”  He confirmed simply, smiling across the table at her.  If she didn’t want to play games then he wouldn’t.  “I'll be honest Joanna.  I find you very attractive.  I think you’re a very beautiful and clever woman.  However, I have reservations about changing the level of our relationship.”  Beck decided to be very candid.  They were both adults and not unfamiliar with the complexities of dating.  “I know my own flaws and I respect you too much to want to risk hurting you.”  He did not have a very good track record with women and was aware that he would hardly be considered a gentleman by most of his exes.  Beck never meant to mistreat any of them but he was just not well-suited to committed relationships.  “I'd be a much better friend than anything else.”  He hoped she’d understand that he wasn’t rejecting her, just trying to protect her.  Beck paused then and grinned widely, before breaking into laughter at the idea of someone as clearly strong as Joanna needing him to protect her.  So he added with a shrug, “But you’re a grown woman and I won’t presume to tell you what’s best for you.”

The waitress came to clear their plates away, briefly interrupting any further conversation, and placed down a new plate in the centre of the table with a large piece of apple pie and generous dollop of cream before leaving.  “Ah dessert!”  Beck exclaimed happily, reaching for a spoon.  He hesitated briefly, wondering if he should have ordered something for Joanna as well.  But it was a large piece of pie and he was happy to share if she wanted to.  “Would you care to join me?”  He asked pleasantly, gesturing to his dessert to indicate she was welcome to help herself.  “Or we can ask the waitress to get you something else?”

Why was he treating her like a child? If there was one thing that Joanna hated, it was being told what to do. Or suggested what to do. Reservations about changing the level of our relationship. Who did he think he was? She may respect Graeme as a friend and professional, but he was not getting away talking to her like that. There was times when her nerves were overridden by annoyance, and this was one of them. How presumptuous was he? Sure, she had meant what he was suggesting, but she had never actually said that out loud. How dare he presume to know what she was thinking! She huffed internally, allowing him to finish the complete rubbish he was spouting before interrupting.

“Yes, I am a grown woman, thank you very much.” She paused, trying not to let her frustrations spill over to ruin their evening altogether. With a laugh she continued. “I don’t think you could hurt me Gray! I’m not an idiot.” Joanna wasn’t sure what kind of flings or dalliances that Graeme had had in the past. To be honest, it had never been something she had thought about, at all. But, based on his weird comments, they must have been the kind of people that put everything they had into their significant other. Joanna was definitely not that kind of person. In fact, clinginess was not a quality she admired. And she definitely had many, many priorities that came before a relationship. Work, family, friends, food, sleep…

Suddenly overcome by a rush of confidence, that mainly came from being called attractive by a rather handsome man, she continued laughing in jest. “It’s not like we’re going to get married!” she said, her emphasis on the last word portraying her feelings on the subject. Sure, she would like to get married in her fantasy world. But in reality, Joanna could not see herself walking down the aisle. Ever. A big white dress and committing to another person til death did them part did not sound like it would end in happiness.

Although it was nice of Graeme to offer to share his own dessert with her, Joanna was not up for that act. Sure, it didn’t have to appear intimate - she shared food with friends all the time, but somehow, will their whole conversation just gone, it felt like it could be more. And she was not the romantic sharing a dessert kind of person. In fact, everyone should get their own food. It meant more food for everyone. She shook her head in response and raised her hand to usher back over the waitress. “Sorry, can I get a slice of carrot cake please?” She asked pleasantly, waiting until she had received an affirmative response before turning back to Graeme. “You go ahead,” she ushered, encouraging him to dig in without waiting. “I’m sure mine will be along shortly.”

A teasing edge to her voice, Joanna went back to their previous topic of conversation. Sure, it wasn’t as if she wanted to be told that she shouldn’t be with someone, but she just couldn’t stop herself from digging. “So, what are your flaws Professor Becker? Should I be concerned that there’s boggarts in your closet?” Joanna really couldn’t think of anything that she wouldn’t already know. Graeme wasn’t exactly a closed book. He was pretty obvious really.

When the waitress returned with her own dessert, Joanna smiled in thanks and picked up her fork to take a delicate mouthful of it, momentarily distracted from the man in front of her. There was nothing better than cream cheese icing sometimes. Even if carrot cake wasn’t particularly popular in general. Once she had swallowed, Joanna returned her attention to Graeme. “Well…” she prompted, with a mock shiver. “What should I be scared of?”

Beck was amused by her reaction.  It was probably about as much as he should have expected.  Joanna was not just some floozy and clearly didn’t like to be compared to same.  Not that that was what he had meant.  It was all too clear to him that she was on a completely different level to the women he’d been with.  “Hey!  I never said you were an idiot.”  He raised both hands in what was hopefully a clear sign of apology and surrender, though the effect may have been slightly spoiled by how he was laughing.  “Quite the opposite.  I know you can handle yourself.”

He chuckled a tad uneasily at her joke about marriage.  The image of Joanna wearing a poofy white wedding dress was just about enough to send him running for the hills.  The construct of marriage was too closely related to the kind of stifling, mundane life he was afraid of being trapped in.  It was no secret that the 30-year-old was afraid of commitment.  His life really spoke for him in that regard.  The idea of settling down with one person for the rest of his life filled him with a strange sense of horror.  (Even if that person were someone as stimulating as Joanna.)  “Good Merlin.  Do not ever let my sister hear you say that!”  He exclaimed in exaggerated alarm.  Beck could just imagine how Jessica would latch onto the idea. 

Thankfully the arrival of dessert derailed that particularly uncomfortable topic of conversation.  He shrugged nonchalantly at her rejection of his offer.  “More pie for me.”  He said, digging in with relish.  The food was far too enticing at that moment for him to waste time analysing her decision.  Beck was not inclined to make any further assumptions on Joanna’s behalf or presume to choose for her, especially given her reaction to his earlier statement.  It was actually a pretty interesting reaction.  Did she want him or not?  The crafty witch had no provided any clear indications of her feelings on the subject. 

She hadn’t left, she hadn’t thrown her drink in his face nor told him to eff off – instead Joanna was now teasing him.  Surely that meant he hadn’t been completely off the mark about the attraction being mutual?  Beck grinned cheekily at her tongue-in-cheek queries.  “Oh it has Boggarts – plural.  A Grindylow or two.  Maybe a Chimera.  Enter my closet at your own peril.”  He joked over-dramatically.  If she really wanted to know the sordid stories of his ex-lovers, he would tell her.  Everything about him was always full disclosure.  However, he didn’t think she was really after the nitty, gritty details.  Joanna just needed to know the facts of his flawed character.  It was likely she was already aware of most of his problems though – the short attention span, erratic behaviour and general messiness he sometimes left in his wake. 

He waited quietly as she tested her dessert but before he had a chance to catalogue his faults for her, she was mockingly prompting him to explain why he felt that he was such a danger to her.  Immediately he felt that maybe he'd been a bit cocky about his charms.  “I can’t help but feel that I’ve backed myself into a corner here – one that I can’t get out of without sounding like an arrogant twat.”  Beck admitted with a wry grin.  If Joanna was looking for any more ammunition to use against him, she would find an arsenal in what he was about to say.  “Ok, well there's a certain appeal to my lifestyle…” He started cautiously, “…that draws women looking for excitement.”  Beck largely blamed / thanked romance novels for the dreams many women harboured of a tall, dark stranger coming to whisk them away for adventure.  “Not that I’m suggesting you’re like that.”  He added hastily.  A part of him considered casting a shield charm for protection. 

“And I’m not claiming to be God's gift to women or anything but…  They tend to fall for me, hard.”  Beck never intended to steal or break any hearts but it had inevitably happened many times.  It probably didn't help matters that he had a tendency to make grand romantic gestures to people he’d just met.  There was just an unrestrained energy and a passion that he brought to courtship that was above what most women expected and they tended to like it.  “Or well, not me but the fantasy.  I’m awfully romantic.”  He clarified and then gave a little shrug.  At the end of the day it was the excitement and adventure that they fell in love with, not him.  Yet the effect was still the same when he inevitably moved on.  “But it should come as no surprise to you that I’m not good at committing…  And it can be hard for some women to lose the dream.”  Even to his ears that sounded disgustingly conceited but he was just trying to be honest about his experiences. 

“I’m sure you have nothing to worry about though.”  He continued lightheartedly, waving his empty dessert spoon in Joanna’s direction.  “Clearly my charms have no effect on you and I would never expect someone as responsible as you to get swept up in a fantasy.”  Beck decided to back off and let Joanna dictate what their relationship was.  If she was still interested, which he doubted she was, then it would be up to her to make a move.  Hopefully she would at least still want to be friends.  “I totally understand if you think I’m a complete ass.”  He nodded and smiled ruefully, imagining that she was probably thinking something along those lines.  Unable to resist, he then added, “For what it’s worth, of all the women I’ve been with, none of them could hold a candle to you.”

“Oh, you definitely sound like an arrogant twat,” Joanna told him with a grin, unwilling to let him off the hook. She had injected humour into her voice so that she didn’t sound serious, but there was truth behind the words. She was torn between being scandalised about the behaviour of her sex and hitting him repeatedly for the generalisation of his words. ‘Certain appeal to my lifestyle’ ‘tend to fall for me, hard’ ‘I’m awfully romantic’. They were all actual phrases that she had just heard spill out his mouth. She was sure she wasn’t hallucinating, he had actually said those words, in that order. Like, what an asshole.

“Flattery will get you nowhere Professor!” She said teasingly once he was done. It was one of those compliments that sat ill with her. Sure, a part of her curled up with girlish glee at the praise, her stomach performing giddy flips and twirls. But, complimenting her by comparing her to the rest of her sex and using it to disparage them was something she was more and more uncomfortable with as she aged. In Hogwarts she would have thought nothing of the phrase ‘you’re not like other girls’, but these days it rankled her, sitting heavy on the idea that it was considered okay to have to separate a woman from her gender to show her unique qualities. “I’m sure we all just like different candles.” The irony was that Joanna was not actually a fan of candles, considering them to be of practical need only.

“I think you may have to rethink your definition of adventure now too,” she continued, referencing back to his previous words. “I don’t think Hogwarts Professor holds the same ‘excitement’” Joanna made air quotes with her hands over the word, “as mysterious foreigner. You’re now in the same category as McGonagall and Flitwick.” She shrugged apologetically, although she wasn’t feeling at all apologetic. “No offence but your lifestyle might even be considered,” she took a dramatic pause to build up the mock suspense, “boring now!” She laughed and settled back in the bench, taking another bite of her cake as she watched his reaction.

The conversation had shifted enough that Joanna now felt like she had the high ground. It probably wasn’t a great quality that she considered interactions to always have someone as the superior, but in her experience it was generally true. And besides, she was always more settled and happy being the one controlling the interaction. It made her feel comfortable enough to say things that in other settings she would never have the nerve to voice. “I mean, you are now in charge of educating the future generation. I don’t think there’s any fantasy in that anymore. Unless you’re offering behind the scenes private tours of Hogwarts secrets,” Joanna added with a wink. “who wouldn’t want to watch the stars from the Astronomy Tower while chasing off students who were out after hours?” Although, as she said that, Joanna realised that it actually sounded quite… appealing. She’d quite like to see Graeme as a disciplinarian.

“I happen to find responsibility hot.” She told him matter of factly. “But I imagine that’s not romantic at all…” What good were roses and romance in the real world though? They meant as little as compliments. Things that could evaporate in the wind.

His ill-conceived notion to explain his typical dynamic with women went down about as well as he could have expected – better even, since she hadn’t tried to hex him.  Still, though he tried to read her body language as well as her words, Beck was unsure whether Joanna was genuinely interested in a more intimate relationship or just having fun mucking him around.  The flirtatious humour was fun but it kept him slightly off balance.  However, the 30-year-old was enjoying the experience.  It wasn’t often that he faced things he couldn’t figure out.  Perhaps that was part of Joanna’s appeal. 

“Boring?!”  He spluttered, eyes widening in alarm.  Beck both loved that she felt comfortable teasing him so ruthlessly and hated how accurate some of her observations were.  Clearly she was trying to wind him up, the Hit Witch no doubt knew just how much he disliked the idea of being dull and uninteresting, but it was true that his new lifestyle was going to be… different.  Teaching was still a bit of an adventure in its own way, although admittedly not the kind that would probably make for stimulating or romantic conversation.  ’The most interesting thing I did today was regrow my eyebrows after a student’s Impediment Jinx backfired…’  Yeah, not exactly inspiring.  He was rendered momentarily speechless by her words as he was forced to reconsider his self-image.  It was an uncomfortable but invigorating experience. 

Beck personally found Hogwarts castle fascinating and couldn’t see any reason why anyone wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to explore it.  However, he highly doubted that the Headmistress would be agreeable to him offering private tours to woo women.  It was still a school at the end of the day and full of impressionable children.  There was no way he would want his love life and professional life to cross over like that in any case.  On reflection, there probably wasn’t anything particularly romantic about the location (unless you were a teenager with no other options).  “Ok, I’ll give you that one.  Hogwarts is a lot of things but it isn’t very sexy.”  He gave a little shake of his head and chuckled. 

“I suppose my new job makes me undesirable to the opposite sex?  So my days of charming the ladies are over?”  Mustering his limited theatrical abilities, he pretended to pout sadly and pick moodily at his apple pie.  “Do women really not like the whole Professor thing?”  The question was part joking and part genuine interest.  It was too early for him to know what effect his new occupation would have on his eligibility as a bachelor.  Beck didn’t exactly know much about the love lives of his colleagues, but being compared to McGonagall and Flitwick, fine educators though they were, did not seem very promising for future romance…  Still he grinned at her comment and raised an eyebrow.  Responsibility was hot?  Clever as Joanna was with her words, she hadn’t actually said whether she thought he was hot. 

So then, was he, Graeme Roland Becker, responsible?

He wasn’t exactly ‘irresponsible’, he was used to taking care of other people (at least from a security perspective), but his unconventional lifestyle up until this point had allowed him to cut a few corners when it came to being a mature and self-sufficient adult.  It wasn’t like he had ever really lived anywhere on his own which hadn’t had housekeeping and room service nor lived in one place long enough to have to maintain long-term arrangements.  Living out of a suitcase and jumping from town to town could hardly be considered ‘responsible’…  Yet, he had taken this job –committing to at least a year of remaining in one place while he taught at Hogwarts – to be around to provide support to his family, to help out his sister with the kids – and, now, he was even talking about writing another book!  When had he become such a grown up?!  Whilst Beck still cringed at the idea of a stagnant, ordinary lifestyle, Joanna had got him thinking that maybe it wouldn’t be the worst idea to get his own place, rather than just crashing on his sister’s couch when he wasn’t working. 

“Responsibility might not be very romantic,” he admitted with a grin, “but there’s something there…”  His light grey eyes were pensive as his gaze lingered on her face. 

He couldn’t help noticing that Joanna seemed more confident now than she had been earlier in their banter.  Perhaps it was because he had outright admitted his attraction, whereas she was yet to give any clear indication of her feelings?  Some people would see that as a mistake, to put themselves in a position to be rejected, yet Beck felt no fear or shame for his admission.  Nor did he resent Joanna for still wanting to play her cards close to her chest.  He had laid all of his on the table for her to see because it was just his way to be open.  Whatever happened next would be up to her and he would not have any hard feelings either way.  If she wanted to be in control, he was happy to let her be.  The Professor wasn’t the kind of man to feel threatened by that sort of thing.  He actually liked to be around people who challenged him. 

The reservations he had initially felt about taking that step from friendship to romance had all but melted away.  Even if things somehow went poorly, it seemed unlikely that Joanna would be the type to end up heartbroken.  She certainly didn’t seem to be the type of woman to let him get away with behaving poorly so he felt reassured that she would put him in his place or promptly end things if she didn’t like the way things were going.  Besides, Beck found her captivating.  He could happily surrender to her mocking and teasing if it meant a shot at getting to know her better.  Never one to deny curiosity for long, he wanted to follow this unexpected development wherever it would go.

“If you’d allow me…”  Beck reached out slowly and deliberately, making his movements clear to see (so that Joanna could have every opportunity to pull or push away), in a gesture to gently brush back the hair from the side of her face.  “I’m sure… you… wouldn’t find me… boring...”  His voice drew out the words in a soft yet husky tone, as his eyes sought to connect with hers.  He lingered for a few seconds before drawing back to his side of the table – a respectable distance outside of her personal space.  “At very least it would give you many more opportunities to make fun of me.”  He shrugged his shoulders and laughed loudly, his face crinkling with mirth.  Surely she’d love to keep mocking and teasing him, he enjoyed it well enough himself. 

“I do really want to cook for you one day.  But you don’t have to decide anything now.”  Persistence could be romantic under the right circumstances but he would definitely not be stupid enough to try to rush or pressure Joanna into agreeing to go out with him.  (He liked having all of his limbs intact after all).  “I should probably get going soon anyway– to mark some essays or something else boring and Professor-y…”  He added teasingly with a wriggle of his eyebrows.  “Unless you want me… to stick around?”