[Oct '02 MP] we got scars on our future hearts {Harry}

Thursday, October 31, 2002

we got scars on our future hearts
but we won't look back, no, we'll never look back

Four was a fun age, she’d decided. Old enough to understand some reason, with the capacity to follow directions; and young enough to have the persistent need to provide unsolicited [and completely unfiltered, usually entertaining] commentary on everything. Said four-year-old – well, four-and-a-half-year-old, as he’d undoubtedly correct her – currently clung to her left hand with his right, sticky with the remnants of the caramel apple he’d polished off just moments before. With his left he had hold of Harry’s right; every so often he would go completely limp in a tacit demand for the pair of them to swing him forward, at which point he would laugh and shriek with delight.

Ginny sometimes forgot that she no longer needed to live day-to-day, uncertain as to whether or not she’d see the next. She could make actual plans – real, tangible, concrete plans – for the future. Harry’s line of work was still incredibly high-risk, but she vastly preferred his chances in the context of “Auror” compared to “The Chosen One”. And he’d had great success with the latter.
Today had been a simple plan: taking Teddy to Hogsmeade for the evening’s Halloween celebrations. She and Harry hadn’t hosted him for a weekend yet this month; plus, it would be a nice gesture to spare the boy’s saint of a grandmother from his inevitable sugar-high tonight.

The October breeze stirred a few copper hairs that had worked loose from her braid. In the spirit of the holiday, she hadn’t missed out on the opportunity to dress up; a walking advertisement for the Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, she had crafted her own Decoy Detonator costume (one that Luna would doubtless be proud of). It was rather simple, but amusing: she’d created a modified hoop-skirt to represent the bell, attached the horn to a headband, and wore black leggings and long-sleeve shirt. Voila.

She paused from admiring the giant cobwebs and intricately-carved gourds adorning the familiar cobblestoned walkway to cast a sidelong look at Harry. She grinned when she caught his eye, giving the horn on her head a brief yet obnoxious HONK which startled a passerby and elicited a yelp of glee from Teddy.

“Having fun?”

Harry hadn’t dressed up for Halloween this year, but he was loving it all the same. It felt great to be back into the groove of things with Ginny, and he never regretted a moment spent with Teddy. It had been awhile since they were able to just relax and have fun. With work hours being so long and so stressful, Harry needed a break and this was the perfect opportunity. There were sweets everywhere—people dressed in interesting costumes, and an atmosphere that just felt like home. He swung Teddy between their arms until his own were sore, and had bought him more sweets than a four year old really had any right to. Harry couldn’t help spoiling his godson. He loved him dearly, and never wanted him to go without, the way Harry had always gone without as a child.

His Halloweens with the Dursleys were mild at best. Harry was stuck at home, handing out candy—but not allowed to eat any of it—while Dudley and the Dursleys went out. They didn’t love Halloween at the best of times, though. It was too magical for them, and his outfits were always tame in comparison. Harry never got to wear one, and had grown accustomed to it. He peeked at Ginny, in her adorable costume, and smiled warmly. He was so happy they had worked things out, and seemed to be going strong. He knew, deep in his heart, that she was the one, and that he really ought to ask fast. They might not survive another breakup, and he didn’t want to risk that again. He was tired of pitying himself, it was time to man up and take control.

He had been planning something big, knowing that he would have time off for Christmas this year. He planned a vacation for him, something he had not taken since he started Auror training, and planned to propose while they were gone. He had already been looking at rings, though he wasn’t sure what she would prefer. He knew she would gladly wear the ugliest ring if it came from him, but he wanted it to be tasteful and just her style, too. He wasn’t good with style. Perhaps he would ask Hermione to help him. He also, although it was old-fashioned, needed to ash Arthur for her hand. He doubted very much the Weasley father would say no—he adored Harry, for one, but it was proper to ask… right?

Perhaps he would next time they went over to the Burrow for dinner. Should he ask Molly, too? He was a little distracted by his thoughts of his upcoming proposal and his love for Teddy that he barely heard Ginny speak. He blinked, blushed, then smiled. “Absolutely.” He replied.

“They really go all out here, huh? I’ve never seen Hogsmeade at Halloween before. I was always in the castle, but this—wow. It’s incredible.” Indeed, there were decorations everywhere. All the pubs had drink specials, and everyone was dressed except him. He felt a little out of place because of it. “What about you two?” He asked, mostly to Ginny, but of course Teddy nodded excitedly too. “Where did you want to check out next?”

@Ginny Weasley

“Good,” she replied with a roguish wink. “And yeah, they really do… I’ve never been before, either. We always used to carve pumpkins at home from the garden – well, if the gnomes hadn’t eaten or otherwise destroyed them, at least,” she added in afterthought. “And made our own costumes. But that was about it in terms of decorations. Mum would make us sweets, since we didn’t really have many neighbors.” Except, of course, the Lovegoods, but they had mostly kept to themselves over the years. The Diggorys were a bit further away, and even then it was really just Dad and Mr. Diggory that were friends.

She bit her tongue, then, acutely aware of how different Harry’s childhood Halloweens likely were. She rarely asked him about such things point-blank unless it was something she felt she really needed to know, or was truly curious about; otherwise, if he wanted to talk about it, he was free to bring it up and she would happily listen. But for the most part, Ginny tried not to pry overmuch. She remembered how it felt shortly after the nightmare that was her First Year, with people asking about all of the awful things she’d rather not relive; Harry had dealt with it for most of his life.
Which brought her to her next stream-of-consciousness thought – Harry had been made an orphan on this very day, twenty-one years ago. A chill ran up her spine at the thought; unconsciously, she tightened her grip slightly on Teddy’s sticky hand. It was such common knowledge that most of the time she hardly thought twice about it; but when she did take a moment to stop and really consider this piece of information, she felt it deeply. How different his life, Ginny’s life, the British wizarding world’s life – might have been.

She didn’t like to dwell on it, and so she seized on his next comment with alacrity.

“I wouldn’t dare” – she swooped in with a free hand to tickle the four-and-a-half-year-old’s ribs for emphasis, as he howled with laughter – “speak for Teddy, but I’d say this was a great idea.” She smiled warmly at Harry, glad that he finally had a bit of a respite from work. He still looked a bit tired and peaky, but getting him out of the house had seemed to do some good.

“Where did you want to check out next?”

“Hmm… I think Teddy’s had more sugar than water today, want to pit-stop at The Three Broomsticks?”
She’d be willing to bet the pint-sized Metamorphagus was going to need a potty break, too. Someone was going to have to teach the kid how to pee standing up…