[london] until it ends, there is no end. [billie]

Phillip was feeling pretty socially exhausted by the time he'd finished touring her home, meeting Kendrick, and having afternoon snacks with them but the day (date) had barely even begun. He wasn't great at keeping the conversation going and even if he hadn't meant to Phillip found himself accidentally saying the wrong thing or killing the discussion on more than one occasion. He really hoped Kendrick, and especially Billie, wouldn't hold it against him. Normally he couldn't give two toadstools what people thought about him but like everything concerning Billie this was different. He wanted Kendrick to like him, he wanted Billie to see him trying. When it was finally time to head out to the street fair Phillip pushed every other thought out of his head. He had to keep his focus, apparating wasn't exactly new but it was hard to concentrate while he was holding Billie's hand.

Side-along apparation wasn't great on the body but Phillip had grown used to the feeling after he'd done it a few times prior. When they arrived at the entrance to the fair he was hit by the sounds and smells, there were giant balloon dragons floating over head, there were goblins hawking all sorts of wares at little pop up stands, and the amount of witches clinging tightly to stuffed animals was not lost on him. He turned his head to look at her and gave her hand a little squeeze. He was apprehensive about letting it go just yet.

"You doing okay?" He asked her, a concerned look on his face as he furrowed his brow. He wondered if she had ever apparated like that before, wondered if she would of rather taken the floo. He should of figured out a better way to get them there, they could of gotten to Diagon and taken the muggle tube or something probably. He mentally kicked himself for not being better prepared.

Billie changed before they left, donning a plain, navy blue sleeveless dress over the top of a white, see-through, long-sleeved blouse with little embroidered details at the neck. She smoothed the material down in the mirror once before she left her room. After they’d said their goodbyes, the blonde followed her friend out of the house to the front porch. She slipped her hand into his and tried not to think too much about it.

She closed her eyes as they apparated together, her heart beating quickly in her chest. They arrived with the usual pop! of apparation and she exhaled the breath she’d been holding, enjoying the exhilarating feeling for a moment.

Opening her eyes, Billie turned to the sound of his voice.

“Yes,” She replied breathlessly. He looked unconvinced, so she gave him a small smile. “Kind of thrilling, isn’t it?” She asked, teasing him a little as she stepped back, pulling him with her. There was a certain sense of freedom here that she hadn’t ever really felt before. She’d apparated like that with Kendrick, and Basil of course, but this was so very different. Billie and Phillip were so close now, that his freedom felt like hers too. “You can just whisk me away any time, we can go anywhere.” Billie laughed, a light, melodic sound. She felt full to the brim.

He wasn't expecting her to say it was thrilling but when she did he smiled a little, she was always surprising him. He was glad she wasn't feeling sick or anything because that was not a good way to start out the evening. Phillip returned his hand to his side, seeing that she was feeling fine, but the moment he did he wished he hadn't. These feelings weren't new but it seemed like the moment he had let himself start thinking about them the flood gates had opened. Before he could tell himself they were just friends, that her long stares were just because she was listening intently, but something had certainly shifted between them. This was a date, or at least he was hoping so.

“You can just whisk me away any time, we can go anywhere.” The freedom of apparition had dawned on him before but hearing her say it like this, hearing her include herself in it, made his heart skip a beat. He hadn't considered that before. They were no longer stuck just writing over the summer. He could visit her anytime, no long floo's or expensive train tickets needed. He felt like the whole world was open to them now. They could go anywhere and best of all they could go there together. Phillip hadn't smiled much in the last few weeks but he was smiling now, just that little smile of his, but it was enough.

"Any time, any where." He repeated her words, he felt such an excitement by them. "Where would you go? If you could go anywhere?" He asked her as they started heading toward the fair. Although he hadn't done much planning as far as transportation he had done some extra work in the village near Keithcairn in the days leading up to this weekend. He had enough sickles to buy them tickets, snacks, and maybe even win her one of the stuffed pixies or something.

He was smiling - in his Phillip way, of course, not overly enthusiastic, but smiling nonetheless - and she couldn’t contain a smile of her own. Even though he’d let her hand go. “With you?” she asked, looking at him as she brushed the front material of her dress with her hands. “Or by myself?” The blonde thought about her answer. Her enthusiasm had her feeling a bit out of herself, like she was floating or something, and it made her want to talk about things that she probably shouldn’t. It was strange - usually she didn’t have any trouble compartmentalising.

By now, Billie thought she could read her friend pretty well. She could tell that he liked the idea of his new freedom, and that he liked the idea of exploring that with her.

“I haven’t been to many places,” she started, slowing for a second as a man blowing giant hippogriff-shaped bubbles caught her attention. “I’d like to go somewhere really far away,” she said after a beat. “Somewhere you can go swimming, but not somewhere beachy.” She started walking again, giving him another smile. Billie hadn’t been to a beach with proper sand, but it just didn’t feel right. “Or, you know,” she said, giving him a teasing look, “the moon or something.”

He chewed on the inside of his cheek, considering her next question more deeply than he probably needed to. Should he say what he wanted to, or would that sound too cheesy? When he'd asked the question he had meant for them to be going together, but he didn't want to stop her from answering either. "Either? Both." He said with a shrug as he considered answers to his own question. For so long Phillip had been consumed by the idea of just getting out. Just being able to make his own choices. He'd been counting the days til graduation for years now. But he'd never actually thought about what would happen after. About where he would go if he could choose.

And as they walked closer to the fair he realized, he didn't much care where they went, as long as they were together. "Yeah beaches suck." He replied, having had only bad experiences any time sand was involved. He wondered where she could swim that wasn't a beach though, assuming she didn't mean like a city pool or something, but maybe some rocky coast. It made him think of Ireland. Of Ballintoy specifically, in Ballycastle. It was a stoney beach full of rock pools, the water was cold, but it was Ireland. "Ireland has places like that." He brought up, finding himself wanting to show her the places he visited as a child. Places he hadn't been back to in so long. He'd been stuck in Scotland for as long as he could remember, he missed his old home.

"The moon?" He asked, giving her a little smirk. "Wonder if any wizard has every tried to apparate there." They reached a ticket booth and Phillip led them to the line, there weren't too many people ahead of them so the teenager started getting his sickles ready. He pulled a handful of them out of his pocket and held them flat in his hand so he could count them out. When they reached the booth he bought them a bundle of tickets and then stepped aside with her. "Where to first?" Staring out into the fair he realized this was not the sort of place he'd normally come to. There was music, and crowds, and way too much going on.

“Sand beaches anyway,” Billie agreed, with an amendment, thinking of the ragged cliffs on Sinnoway Isle, and the rocky bay on the other side. She remembered the salty smell of the ocean quite clearly, despite not having visited the coast for years now. Her honest answer was that she would have liked to take him there, to the first home she had clear memories of. Overrun by moly, her favourite flower, a little decrepit, in places where the charms had worn off… A seaside cave with an old and broken stone cubby house her father had fashioned her... She wished she could have shared those things with him.

Ireland wasn’t quite as far away as she was imagining, but she wondered what the coast was like there, if it was similar to here. She wanted to ask more about it, but the conversation was moving on. “Undoubtedly,” she answered lightly. Talking about space made her think back to the first time they’d sat atop the astronomy tower, pretending to do homework and just talking for hours instead. She couldn’t remember exactly, but hadn’t they talked about this? The idea of going to space had made her feel sad back then. If she was by herself, she supposed it still would make her feel sad. Phillip was such an important person to her now that she felt like she could go anywhere with him and not feel homesick.

Billie hesitated at the ticket booth, reaching for her own purse before pausing and letting him pay. “Thanks,” she answered with a small smile. When he asked where they should go first, she was unsure. “I haven’t been to anything like this before,” she answered, leaning into him as they passed a group of people. “Could we just walk for a bit?”

She felt a bit like she had the first day she’d gone to Diagon Alley with Kendrick; excited, but so overwhelmed. There was a lot of sensory overload, and all of that plus the emotional high she was on was a lot for her. After a moment's silence, she glanced his way. “Do you miss Ireland, Phillip?” Billie asked, looking at him, but not for too long; she didn’t want to pressure him.

If he was being honest just walking with her sounded like the very best idea. He'd do anything she wanted to do, but he preferred these moments. He wondered briefly if he should have asked her to go to something a little less... chaotic. There was so much going on around them and at first he thought maybe that would make it easier to not be so awkward. Now he knew he had been over thinking it. They had never had trouble talking to one another before, it was something they had always been good at. "Yeah walking sounds good." He replied, taking a step forward toward what looked like a less crowded path of the fair versus the main street and waiting for her to join him.

Her question make him suck in a breath because he knew he hated the answer. "I do." he admitted quietly. Phillip hated thinking about the things that he had lost, and on top of everything else, he'd lost Ireland. He'd been forced to live in Scotland even when he wasn't at Hogwarts and to him that was like one more nail in the coffin. It might not have seemed like a big deal, especially not to someone who cared as little as Phillip tried to act like he did, but it was a big deal. Ireland was a lot more than just a country to him. It was a touchstone, a reminder of all of the things he no longer had. "Ireland was the best."

"Maybe we can go there some time?"

Billie felt like she already knew the answer. She knew it because she was a person who’d lost things too, both people and places. She knew the importance of the latter. Billie loved Kendrick, and she adored the room he’d decorated for her to make her feel more comfortable, but she’d only been there for a couple of months last summer, and then a couple of weeks just now. She had always been acutely aware of how much space she took up - and tried very hard to make herself smaller than that. That hadn’t changed at all as she’d gotten older. Regardless, his house didn’t quite feel like home to her.

She fell into step with him, mulling all of this over.

“To Northern Ireland?” She asked, looking at him to make sure he was being serious, “Phillip, I’d love that,” she said, her words ringing with honesty. She wondered distantly if Kendrick and Jo would be okay with that; today had gone well, as far as things like that could go, but travelling across an ocean with him, even just for a day trip, even just to Northern Ireland, felt like a bigger thing than a trip to London. “I’d love for you to show me,” she added in a quieter voice. She’d cherished every time he’d opened up to her in the past two years, and seeing where he’d grown up felt like the same type of special. "Where would we go?" she asked curiously, "La...Larne?"

When she said his name, his full name and not just Lip like everyone else called him, he felt a warmth in his cheeks. She'd love to visit Ireland with him. Phillip let his mind wander, just for a minute, and didn't worry about the details like what if Kendrick wouldn't let her, or his uncle kept him from going, or any of the things that could stand in the way. He only thought about the two of them going back to the place he had grown up. He'd show her all of his favorite places, even he could even remember how to get to them. He was ten years old the last time he was back in Ireland, in their family home. He was pretty sure it was gone now. Sold to a new family or demolished for a shopping center, that was how things like this went. But there were other places he could show her.

"Larne," he repeated, the word rolling off his tongue with the little bit of Irish accent he had left. "Maybe the Giant's Causeway." He told her, jumping straight for his favorite place. It was a magical set of steps, it didn't seem like it belonged in this world, and as a child Phillip was convinced the stories about the fighting giants was true. He didn't believe in things like that anymore, he barely believed in anything. "It's on the coast in Anterim, made of hexagon shaped basalt columns that look like a bridge made for giants reaching out into the ocean." He couldn't help but stare off into the distance as he told her about it. "We used to go there as kids." We, he missed his sister too. She would of liked Billie, he thought absently.

After a short pause he turned his head to find her eyes. "Or maybe the Ballintoy Harbour, it has rock beaches like you were talking about. The water's pretty cold though."

“Ooh,” Billie said, pausing at a stall that sold all kinds of indulgent treats, like candy floss and boxes of popcorn and sticks with strawberries skewered on them, dipped in chocolate. She hesitated, reaching for her purse. “What would you like?” she asked him.

She smiled when he said it. Larne. It was much more natural on his tongue. “Wow,” she said, her interest genuine. Her mind spun the image for her as he described it, a massive bridge over crashing waves. In her head, it was stormy too. The image, inspired by its name and his description, was quite epic in her mind; she imagined standing at the edge of it, feeling small and breathless.

He looked at her. “I like cold water,” Billie answered, feeling fluttery again under his gaze. After a beat, she looked away, smiling, “plus, magic,” she added, amused. It was true that she liked the cold, far preferred it to the heat of summer. Even now, she was regretting wearing something with long sleeves, as thin as the material was. Walking through such a crowded place, with little to no breeze, made her feel quite warm. She played with the embroidered edge of her sleeve absentmindedly.

"No I've got it." He told her swiftly as she reached for her purse. He'd worked hard this week to make sure he had enough sickles to buy everything. Phillip was a stubborn grump, he could even be a bit of a brat sometimes, but he still had a notion of chivalry and he couldn't let her pay for anything today. Unless she really fought him on it. "I'll take some uh.. popcorn." He said dully, picking the most boring of the snacks like always. He pulled out his little sickles pile again and handed a few coins over to the wizard behind the counter, who seemed entirely uninterested by him or the fact that he was paying for both of them.

Returning to the conversation about Ireland Phillip had a longing feeling in his chest, something he hadn't allowed himself to feel for so long he almost didn't recognize it. Phillip tried to push those things down, pretend he didn't miss things. It was part of why he didn't get attached to new things, less things to potentially have to miss in the future. His mind was still going over the memories he still had about Larne, about where he was from, some of them were so fuzzy he was sure he'd forget them all together soon enough. He'd heard that every time you recalled a memory you changed it a little, so much so that eventually nothing was real, you only remembered what you wanted. He supposed for a lot of people that filtered out the bad stuff so they only remembered the good. His brain didn't work that way.

"I like cold water," she told him, their eyes meeting, and the corners of his mouth pulled a little. So did he. Phillip always hated the summer. It was just another thing about being at this fair that didn't seem right. Neither one of them seemed particularly fond of the warm weather. And it was sunny out today, barely a cloud in sight. He knew he wouldn't be like that in Ireland, not even in July. In Anterim it'd be overcast, gray and windy, maybe even a summer thunderstorm rolling in off the coast. And as he day dreamed about it a wild thought came to his mind.

"What if we went there right now? We could go." He asked, stopping where they were and turning to look at her straight on. He wondered if she would be up for it. Phillip was far more comfortable breaking rules and doing things he was supposed to than she was. And the last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable. But maybe, just maybe, he could convince her it would be worth it. "Would you do that?"

“Thank you Phillip,” Billie said, stepping out of the way slightly as her… friend? - stepped in to pay. “I’ll have a chocolate strawberry skewer,” she told the man behind the counter, who didn’t acknowledge her at all aside from reaching for one of the chocolate-covered strawberry skewers. She tucked her hair behind her ears and ducked her gaze in the face of his indifference, feeling a bit self conscious even though the interaction was extremely brief. Completely and utterly unlike Phillip, Billie always craved people’s approval, and that feeling tripled if they were an adult. She didn’t think Phillip understood at all.

Someone bumped into her as she took her food, and she almost dropped it. It was a bit busy for her here, she thought distantly. The idea of pretty lights and candy floss and the ferris wheel in the background made her feel like she was flying, but the bustling, gritty reality of it was… a lot. She walked a bit closer to her friend, feeling safer with him. But then Phillip stopped abruptly and she stopped too, watching him quizzically.

There was a glint in his eye that she didn’t think she’d ever seen there before. She stared at him when he spoke, unable to tell if he was being serious or not.

“I… Right now?” she asked, looking at him again, but this time with a little more than curiosity, or affection, or amusement. This look had a little alarm. She responded very tentatively. “Oh... I don’t know, I told Kendrick I was just coming to London…” She trailed off, biting her lower lip and feeling a little panic. She wasn’t good at saying no, and she did really want to go. But the idea of Kendrick being disappointed in her, or angry with her made her want to fold inward on herself. Could she say no to Phillip, though? When he was right here in front of her, wanting to share a piece of himself with her?

For the first time in his entire life Phillip wished he had a little bit of that convincing gumption, or lack of quit, that Winifred had. She could convince a dragon that it was a unicorn. The wizard would of loved to know just the right thing to say in this moment to convince Billie that what he was saying was a good idea, even though it probably wasn't. He didn't care much about the approval of adults, following his guardians rules, or any of that but he knew she did. He took a beat to try to think of the best way to pose his argument and searched her face for any sign of what she was thinking.

"We could be there and back, Kendrick wouldn't even know you left London." He said, wanting to desperately for her to agree but also to actually want to go. He didn't want her to regret the choice, or be worried while they were there, he wanted them to enjoy Ireland together. He hadn't wanted anything this much in a long time. The idea of sharing this with her was consuming him. He wanted that closeness between them. "I will make sure to have you home in time still." He pledged.

"I promise."

The idea of breaking rules - even non-explicit, unspoken ones - had her squirming in her stomach, but the tension inside her was much bigger than that. She didn’t want to disappoint Kendrick. She didn’t want him to be upset with her, or… stop loving her… or something. She knew she was being a bit dramatic, but for someone who relied so heavily on the love they received from others, it was a natural progression. And the idea was crushing.

That being said, however, the idea of saying no to Phillip right now was crushing too. Being here, in this busy space with him, was lovely, but it didn’t really feel right after the day they’d had. Phillip and Billie spent almost all of the time they were together alone, in their own little Phillip-and-Billie world. It was a place she loved to be, but it didn’t fit right here. She could see it in his eyes; how much he wanted this.

She frowned, feeling very unsure. How far away was Northern Ireland really, when apparating made everywhere faraway seem so much closer? From northern Yorkshire, the distance to Belfast must not have been too different from the distance to London. Internally, she wondered if she could lie to Kendrick, even by omission. More likely, she was going to say yes to this and then tell Kendrick about it when she went home and face the consequences, whatever they were.

And there it was. She knew that she was going to say yes. Looking at him now, seeing how compelling the idea was for him - how could she say no? She wanted to share this with him too. Anything to make him happy. Anything to feel close.

“Yes,” she breathed, a tentative smile replacing her frown as she felt that same thrilling feeling she’d talked about earlier. “Okay, yes.” She laughed, feeling a mix of nerves and relief and excitement all at once. She looked around them, taking in the setting they were in quickly. “How do we…?”

He held his breath, waiting for her response, waiting for some sense of what was going on behind those beautiful pale eyes. He wanted her to say yes, it was obvious, but he tried to keep from pressuring her about it too much. Another group of people walked past them, bumping into him as they did, and he grumbled. How could he have thought coming to a fair was a good fit for them. In the two years they had known each other he couldn't remember a single time they'd done something like this. Even when they were at the feasts or the festivals in Hogwarts they always found some way to head off on their own. He hoped they would again today.

The wavering smile he'd had on and off all day brightened when she finally agreed. It was one of the biggest from him she'd probably ever seen, and he felt it deep down. Not letting himself want or hope for things made for a pretty dull existence but in this moment, in the safety of her company, he had done just that. And she had made it so worth it.

"Really?" He asked, just once, quickly, to make sure she meant it. She said yes again and even laughed a little this time and that was all the reassurance he needed. When she asked how he was already working out those details. They were in the middle of a wizarding area, so being seen wasn't a big issue, but with the amount of people passing by and bumping into them Phillip didn't think it would be a good idea to disapparate right in the middle of the crowd. Merlin forbid one of them knock into them exactly at the moment they take off and they end up bringing along a third wheel.

He held his hand out to her, a rare hope in his voice, and lead them off the beaten path. He held her hand tightly, their fingers intertwined. "Ready?" He asked as he steadied his breathing and calmed his mind and thought of Ireland.