one foot in front of the other. [winifred]

July 2003

Normally right around this time of the summer Phillip was dodging his uncle, avoiding any responsibilities, and counting the days until he could go back to Hogwarts. When he was at school, he couldn't wait to leave, and when summer came, he was desperate to go back. This summer was different though. Everything seemed to be getting better. Winifred had offered to let him stay with her real father and her for the summer, in London, which was the best accommodations he'd been offered in years. He'd met Kendrick, which he thought went okay, and then he'd gone on a real date with Billie which ended with him going to his home town for the first time in years. He even had a few solid leads of things to look into in his search. It would be an understatement to say things were going better than they did most summers. Phillip barely even had much to complain about, though he'd find something eventually.

He left a note for his uncle but only because Wini had asked him to before he left. If it was up to him he'd just take off, not say a word, he actually wondered how long it would take his uncle to even notice he was gone. Shrugging his backpack over his shoulder and making sure he had his wand the seventeen year old apparated to Diagon Alley and then followed Wini's directions to find her father's flat. Despite he's considerable not awful mood Phillip didn't waste any time grumbling as he pushed his way through the crowded streets, bumping into witches and wizards, frowning and scowling. Having mentioned a time in his last letter he assumed, well hoped, that Wini would be home when he arrived. He'd hate to have to wait awkwardly with her father for her to come home.

What he hadn't been expecting was for her to be sitting outside on the porch waiting for him. When he saw her he shook his head a little even though the thought gave him a warm feeling inside. He didn't deserve someone like her as a friend, he knew this, and yet here he was. Walking up to her he readjusted the back pack on his shoulder and gave her a quick greeting. "Hello, how's it going?"

@Winifred Gwartney

"'Hello, how's it going?'" she repeated with a sunny smile and a shake of her head just before she threw her arms around him and hugged him, giving him a hello in her usual Wini way. She tried not to do too long of a hug, knowing that he wasn't much of a hugger and that the hugging he had done on the last day of term wasn't his usual modus operandi.

She pulled back, tucking a strand of her long blonde hair behind her ear as she looked up at him, looking him over. "Missed you," she said simply before nodding to the door behind her. "Let's drop off your stuff and you can meet William," she said as she pulled open the door to the flat building and glanced over her shoulder to make sure he was following.

Wini had been excited that Lip was coming to stay with her this summer, especially because she knew how much he disliked staying with his uncle. She would do anything that she could do for him to make his life a little better and this seemed like an easy thing. He would have his own room and everything. It was good that William had two extra bedrooms, not that he expected to have two teenagers living with him when he had bought this flat years and years ago. As she walked up the stairs to the second floor where William's flat was, she glanced behind her throwing him a knowing look. "Did you leave your uncle a note like I mentioned? He'll worry about it if you didn't."

He shook his head when she repeated him, frowning a little, and preparing himself for what he knew was coming any second now. Phillip knew the Hufflepuff witch in front of him was a hugger and while he narrowly avoided them most of the time sometimes there was just nothing he could do. It was inbound, he saw it, and he did his best to hug her back just enough that she wouldn't call him on it. Wini was his best friend and all but he just wasn't the hugging type, probably never would be, but that didn't mean he thought she'd stop trying.

Stepping inside after her he nodded along. "Okay, sounds good." He was a wizard of few words and even those were a stretch for him. He wasn't smiley, wasn't talking her ear off, but the fact that there wasn't a permanent frown on his face was saying everything. He was excited to stay with her for the summer, but he didn't show it, naturally. He followed her through the door and up the stairs while looking around at the inside of the building they had just entered. It seemed pretty nice, especially for London, especially with multiple bedrooms, but he didn't let his mind wander too far down that rabbit hole.

Luckily she spoke again before he had the chance to make any of his normal assumptions and he groaned. "Yes I left him a note." He said before stressing the next part to her sarcastically. "But only because you asked me to." Phillip readjusted the back pack that was slung over one shoulder and spoke again. "Doubt he's even noticed I'm gone yet. Took him four days last time." The wizard sighed, not that he cared, he didn't need adult supervision and he definitely didn't need a ministry approved guardian.

Wini rolled her eyes, giving him the benefit of turning so he could see the expression. "He would worry otherwise, I'm sure." She wasn't, but she was willing to give Lip's uncle the benefit of the doubt. She wasn't quite sure how someone could be so callous to their flesh and blood. Family meant everything to her. But she was very happy that she had gathered her own little Hogwarts family around her when she has been away from home these past six years. Speaking of home, she wondered when her mum was going to owl her back. She had sent a letter about a week ago. Hm.

"Well, on the bright side!" Wini started, skipping over the careless uncle part that she couldn't quite explain, "I've got your room all set up for you with fresh sheets and blankets. I even stocked the desk with parchment and quills and ink, you know, if you want to write in your little diary," she said, shooting a smile at him as she turned the corner of the stairs and continued up the next set. She was talking about the secret journal that she knew he kept, but for some reason, wouldn't let her read. They were best friends. What secrets did he feel like he needed to keep from her? She was determined to find out.

"William said he's excited to meet you," she added as she went up the last set of stairs and then turned to look at him on the landing. "Please try to smile at least once?" she asked, wanting William to like Lip. Really, she wanted William to like all of her friends. Maybe she shouldn't have started with Lip, given his grumpiness, but she wasn't being choosy at the moment.

"Eh.." was all he could manage in response to her assurances that his uncle would miss him if he was gone and hadn't left a note. He seriously doubted it, but maybe she was right. He'd been nice enough to come and collect Phillip from the ministry after he spent a few nights there with no where else to go so the teenager assumed he had cared at least a little. That or the government was giving his uncle some kind of subsidy for keeping him out of the foster system. Either way he didn't care, he told himself.

Following her along he looked around while he listened to what she was saying. He still couldn't believe he was going to have his own room here and though he'd barely said it he was really appreciative of the offer. He'd assumed he would be crashing on her sofa or something which still would of been a step up from the cot and the room he shared with his uncle back at Keithcairn.

"Wini I told you it's not a diary." He grumbled, emphasizing the last word even though he knew she'd just keep calling it that any way. He wouldn't let her read his notes to Billie and he assumed that was why she kept poking him about it. It was private, personal, and it was locked with quite a few charms he was hoping she hadn't figured out how to crack yet.

Standing next to her on the landing he forced a smile that was so awful he was sure she'd regret asking him to do it in the first place. It looked nothing like his real smile, which was honestly more of a scowl on a good day anyway, and she'd know it was fake. "Like this?" He asked her sarcastically as he waited for her to open up the door and lead them inside.

"Fine, a journal then," she amended, stressing the word. Then under her breath, she added, "Muuchhh more manly when you call it a journal." Whatever he wanted to call it, it didn't matter. She still wanted to know what he was so focused on writing about. She had been working on Marin for years to get him to tell her some of his secrets. Lip was her next target. Why did so many people insist on keeping secrets from her. It was very annoying. She hugged a little sigh as she turned toward him on the landing.

She watched, blinking at him a few times, before she waved him off. His smile looked half constipated, half scowl. That wouldn't do at all. "No, nevermind. I take it back. Don't smile. Just.. try to act like we're not torturing you or something," she told him before turning the doorknob and swinging the door open. "Lip is here!" she called down the hall to William as she ushered in her friend before shutting the door behind him with a gentle click. She smirked as an idea came to her and she whispered to him as she passed him in the hall, "Act as if Billie was here!" then sailed through to the living room where William had been sitting with his glasses perched on his nose and the Daily Prophet in his hands. Her bonus dad, as she liked to call him (not to his face of course), uncrossed his legs and stood, shuffling the paper closed halfway as he stood and gave a cordial smile to Lip. Wini waved between them doing the introductions, "Lip this is William, William, Lip. Well Phillip, but I just call him Lip. Plus we don't want to get the two Phillips confused," she added with a little laugh as she lifted a shoulder where Phillip her pygmy puff was nuzzling her cheek.

William stuck out his hand to shake Lip's, bringing up his other one to sandwich Lip's between his, saying "It's great to meet you. Wini has told me so much about you. It'll be nice to have you staying with us this summer." A beat of silence cropped up between them, Wini glancing back and forth, before she sighed. "Alright, enough with the chatter, guys, sheesh," a hint of Lip's famous sarcasm on her lips before she smiled and tugged on Lip's arm. "Come on, I'll give you the grand tour." 

He tried to ignore her mumbles about it being more manly but in a way he knew she was right. Two years ago he would of never kept up with writing in a journal. Merlin knew the counselors at the Ministry had tried to get him to start a grief one but he'd outright refused. This was different though. It was an easy way to talk without actually speaking. Phillip liked the safety of it, the fact that he didn't actually have to say anything, that he could take longer to think if he needed to. He shrugged his shoulders at her instead of fighting back. He didn't want her to feel left out, but it wasn't really for her. Anytime he tossed notes her way in class she gave him a horrified look like he was going to land her in detention.

He stopped his awkward fake smiling and the corners of his mouth tugged, threatening a rare and real one, as she told him to forget all about it and to not smile. He followed her inside and cringed when she yelled across the place. She really was the most excitable person he knew and sometimes he wished he could figure out how to be a little more like that. A little less grumpy, as she would put it. Of course his thoughts of envying her personality were washed away just as quickly as they'd come when she made a quip about Billie.

"Wini! He said behind her, a gruff whisper across the room as she left him in her dust. He let his head fall back as he sighed and then hurried to catch up to her in this stranger's house. He stalked through the room, following after her to see her bonus dad folding up a newspaper and then coming to shake his hand. "You too Mr.." In that moment he realized he didn't know what this man's last name was. Wini had never mentioned it but considering she called him her bonus dad he kind of figured it wasn't Gwartney. "Uh, yeah good to meet you too. Thank you for letting me stay this summer." He tried to breeze past it but thankfully he had Wini for this moments. Before any more words could be exchanged she tugged on his arm and swept him away from the awkwardness.

It was moments like this that reminded him why she was such a good friend. It didn't matter if she had done it because she knew he was uncomfortable or if she had just done it, either way, he was thankful for the escape. He followed her through the apartment and wondered how it was so big. It hadn't seem so spacious from the outside. He looked down the hall, four bedrooms, insane. "Wini what does your dad do again?" He asked, barely hiding his jealousy.

As she walked down the hall, she tossed a grin back at him. Clearly, his social skills were just as great as William's. No matter, Wini knew she could smooth it over with her normal chattiness until they got a little more used to each other. They'd eventually find something to talk about right? Find some common ground? Otherwise, it was going to be a looong summer at the Reavley flat.

She pointed out different rooms to him as they walked down the hall. "This is William's study, he normally works in here during the day. Didn't I tell you he was a writer? He freelances for some pretty big publications. I read a few things. Well tried to anyway. It was a little over my head," she gave him a little shrug and smile as she moved on. "Restroom. The pink towel is mine, don't touch," she said as she pointed to the restroom and then moved on. "William's bedroom. My bedroom, look he let me decorate it!" She gestured to the open door where her bedspread was a  white with pale pink flowers, photos of her friends and family's faces smiling down at her from a bulletin board near her bed, and a framed photo of Rupert Hartwood on her bedside table next to a small vase of fresh flowers. "Anddddd this is the guest bedroom. Which is all yours for the summer!" she announced with a flourish as she swung the door open.

It was a small room with a twin size bed next to a window, a three-drawer dresser, and a nightstand with a small lamp. Wini had also left a small vase of fresh flowers here, giving the room a nice fragrant smell. On the bed was a dusky blue comforter and a small bag of his favorite candy that she had gotten for him when she had looked for the Diagon Alley shop of Sugar & Spice. "Soo.." she added a little nervously. "What do you think?"

Phillip followed her through the house, giving each room she showed him a glance and nodding at the towel comment with a tiny tug of a smirk crossing his face. "Okay, won't touch." He responded as she brought him to her room, and he saw exactly how Wini it was. Everything in there seemed the way it should have, right up to the picture of her future husband on the nightstand, and somehow that comforted him. He felt less strange here knowing the motives behind some of the things she'd decorated her room with. And when she brought him to the guest room, he felt anxious before she opened the door. Currently, he slept in a tiny room with his snoring uncle on a mattress that was about an inch thick, so really anything would be a step up, but he still felt it.

When she opened the door, he blinked a few times, feeling his chest tighten a little as he was reminded just how good of a friend Wini was. He didn't deserve her friendship, he knew this, but he held onto it tightly. Moving in and dropping his bag near the dresser he took it all in for a moment before he looked back at her. There was a shine to his eyes, an appreciation for her, coupled with a smile on his face she probably hadn't seen many times before.

"Thank you, Wini." He told her seriously as he slipped his hands into his pockets. He felt nervous being here, but at the same time, he felt welcome. He saw the bag of his favorite candies and breathed a laugh. "It's great." He told her with another glance around the room. He swallowed, not knowing what to say as he stood in the middle of this room. It was more than he'd be given in years, more than he thought he deserved, and it was overwhelming. Phillip was not particularly social, and especially not in the way that Winifred was, and these feelings drained him. He took a breath, moving to the window and looking out quietly.

"Suppose I'll have to get you something really nice for your birthday now, huh?" He said after a pause, his playful words floating toward her.

Lip was awfully quiet after she had shown him the room and she glanced repeatedly between him and the room. Was it not good enough? Did she maybe miss a spot when she had cleaned? "Look, if you don't like it, we can--" she had started, but then stopped as he thanked her. She watched as he shoved his hands into his pockets and he had that look on his face. She didn't know his as well as Marin (yet) so it took her a few seconds to decipher. "You.. like it?" she asked, a little smile playing about her lips.

She let out a little sigh of relief, hugging her arms about herself, mostly to stop her from wanting to hug him. She knew he didn't like it. How annoying. She was feeling pretty happy and she knew it might take some time for him to adjust, but she hoped he would like it here. Even if it was just a few weeks during the summer. As he moved to the window, she reached up to curl a strand of her blonde hair around her finger. Her brows perked as he spoke up and she nodded eagerly. "Yep, that's what it means. Something really nice. You have to surprise me too!" She loved surprises. She loved gifts. She would be surprised if she got a gift at all from him, but she wasn't going to tell him that. He had said it, not her. No take backs on promises of birthday gifts.

Wini spotted a brown blur flying toward the window Lip was standing at and she pointed. "That's Owaiffan. Remember my grumpy owl from first year who hated me? He likes William for some reason," she mentioned, envy touching her voice. "Hurry up and open the window or he'll peck at your hand for being too slow. Looks like he has a letter. Wonder if it's from my mum, I've been waiting to hear from her."

If Phillip was the hugging type, which he really really was not, this would have been the kind of moment he would hug her for. The idea crossed his mind quickly as he stood at the window sill, it was fleeting and brief but it was so much more than he normally would have. It passed as quickly as it came but the fact that he had thought about hugging her and saying thank you at all was a step up. Sometimes he wondered how they had become friends, they were so different, almost exactly opposite honestly, but then there were moments like this that reminded him.

"It's great, really," He said again with another little smile as he stared out the window. As often as he wondered how they had become friends he also thought about how she put up with him. She was thoughtful and kind, generous, and lively, but he was such a grump. Phillip was not a good friend, not really. And yet here he was. He would have to make it up to her somehow.

When he saw a brown fluff headed straight for the window he rushed to unlatch it. The Ravenclaw hated owls, they were all menaces in their own right, and he remembered Owaiffan. Unlocking the window and pushing it out and open just as the bird flew into it Phillip hoped he wasn't about to get bitten. They were always biting him. He turned and let the cool breeze from the open window cool the back of his neck as he leaned against the sill.

"Well, is it from your mum?"

Wow! A positive compliment and a smile? Wini beamed back at him. This was going to be a great day, she thought. She was so glad he had come to stay with her. The blonde had wondered why he hadn't asked to stay with Billie, all things considered, but she was happy that he had agreed nevertheless. Now if only she could get Marin to stay for more than a few days over the summer too..

Owaiffan the owl breezed into the room with a flap of his wings, rustling her blonde hair, and she approached him with care and slow movements. "Hi Owaiffan, did you have a nice flight?" she talked to him calmly in low tones, taking slow, measured steps forward. "Just want to get the letter from you, please and then you can have your little treat," she told him, reaching her hand out and then snatching it back as he tried to peck at her. "Hey!" she scolded him before reaching out to snatch the letter he had and leaving the owl treat for him next to his claws on the dresser. With that, she hastily backed up a few steps and hoped he wasn't in the mood to dive bomb her like normal. Wini prided herself on getting along with everyone and everything, but Owaiffan still did not like her. It was just like those days of being a first year all over again. She resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at the owl before giving Lip a glance with a little roll of her eyes as she tore open the letter.

"Yeah, it's from her!" she told him with a smile. Wini recognized her mother's handwriting and blathered on while she read the first few opening lines, more skimming than actually reading. "I'm supposed to go spend some time with them too, remember? Half the time here, half on the farm, so I've been waiting for her.." Wini trailed off as she read, a little furrow forming between her brows, a sinking feeling weighing her down. She glanced up at Lip, forgetting what she had been saying as she went back to the beginning to read again, in detail this time. She blinked a few times, biting her lip as she turned towards the door of his room, not wanting him to see her reaction. "Errr.. are you ready to go? We said we were going to Diagon right?" she asked as she took a few steps, clutching the letter tightly, her voice thick with emotion that she was trying to hide.

Phillip took a step back, getting out of the bird's way before it could crash into him. He sort of wished wizards would just use the post office instead. Watching Wini try to coax the letter out of its death grip he folded his hands in front of him and shook his head. Owls were the worst. Finally she got it, and he kept watching her as she half-read, half-spoke until she'd trailed off.

Head tilting to the side he wondered what she was reading, he saw the change on her face, she wasn't very good at hiding things like that, and it made him worry. He pushed away from the window sill again and stood up. "Uh, yeah, sure Diagon..." he said as he blinked at her words. It was odd for her not to eventually finish her sentence. Or to tell him about what she was reading. About her family, or the farm, or something... he was pretty sure they had sheep and stuff. He assumed she would have said something about what was in the letter so when she changed the subject he really got concerned.

"What's going on? What does it say?"

Her mum's handwriting was so familiar and yet the words on the parchment felt so alien. Like a stranger had written them. She didn't really understand how words could hurt that much, but it did and she wasn't sure how to process it. She just felt bad and instinctively she tried to push that away. She didn't handle sad feelings well. Apparently, she didn't hide them very well either.

At Lip's question, she looked over her shoulder at him, biting her lip and trying to force a happy smile. "Oh? This? Nothing, nothing important. You know, just the normal farm stuff. Suzie the sheep is pregnant, ha ha, no big deal," she tried to say, her voice higher than usual, her laughter awkward. Better to make a quick escape. "I'm just going to grab my purse and then we can go," she said before she disappeared into her room and read the letter again, taking deep breaths as she felt her chest tighten and she tried to hold back the tears.

The only thing that kept her moving is knowing that Lip was waiting for her. Probably awkwardly standing in the living room, not knowing what to say to William. It's not like she could leave him out there to fend for himself. She pushed her hair over her shoulder, grabbed her purse, shoved the letter inside, and breezed out the door, calling a falsely cheery goodbye to William and trying to give Lip a smile as she trotted down the stairs. "There's a new pretzel stand that just opened. Want to get one?" she offered after a moment, trying to remember what Happy!Wini would normally be doing when she wasn't questioning the life decisions of her parents and how everything had gotten so complicated and tangled.

She spoke quickly, she laughed a little, but nothing seemed right. It all felt off and he narrowed his eyes at her, pursing his lips to ask the question, only to see her rush out of the room to grab her purse. She had said everything was fine, talked about the farm and the sheep and everything, but Phillip wasn't convinced. He stood in the room for a minute before he ended up heading out to the living room and lingering awkwardly between where the hallway ended and the living area started. He didn't want to talk to William, not really, but he had forgotten he was out here when he had left the room.

Eventually, it felt like a while, Wini returned from her room and he saw her little bag slung over his shoulder and followed her out the door. She was being weird, but not like happy chipper Wini weird, it was more like grumpy sad Phillip weird, and it was off-putting. He didn't know how to be around this Wini and even though she was putting on a good front he would have had to be deaf and blind not to notice the difference. Something must have happened.

"Sure pretzels." He told her, eyeing her out of the corner of his peripheral vision, searching her expression for a clue. "So long as it's not at Sugar & Spice." He said, knowing she had already checked and confirmed there wasn't a Sugar & Spice in Diagon Alley yet. He tried to make a joke and watched her face closely for some kind of reaction.

As they headed past the apartment building and into the street he exhaled. "So... are you going to tell me or do you not want to talk about it?" He asked in his backward way of trying to be a good friend. He didn't have a lot of experience being on this side of the equation but he was trying. "It's fine if you don't want to though..."