one foot in front of the other. [winifred]

"Ha ha! Not Sugar & Spice, Lip, you're so funny," Wini told him with extra enthusiasm, trying to compensate for the overwhelming sadness she was currently reeling from. She tried to play it cool. She totally wasn't about to start crying. Nope, nope, nope. She almost felt like the letter in her purse was burning a hole through the bag by how aware she was. She almost wanted to run back and leave it there in her room, but she didn't want William to find it and want to talk about it.

"I looked for Sugar & Spice here, you know," she told her, feeling better when she filled the space between them with chatter. "I haven't seen any sign of it yet, are you sure they were thinking of opening one here?" she asked, looking both ways before they crossed the street and heading down the street toward the Leaky Cauldron.

His knowing question made her falter in her step, her smiling slipping for a moment. She had been almost fine a moment ago when she had just been in her head, convinced that she could ignore the contents of the letter. But now with Lip's question she felt her lip wobbling and tears welling in her eyes. "I don't want to," Wini said quickly, crossing her arms in front of her and walking even faster. And on top of all of that, she felt bad that she couldn't be nice and open when Lip was being so kind to her, but she was having a hard time dealing with all of thoughts whirling around her mind and she thought she might start blubbering here in the streets of London if she told Lip anything about it in this moment.

He half-smiled when she mentioned checking for the Sugar & Spice in Diagon Alley and nodded. "I thought I heard that, glad to know it's not true..." He said sarcastically, still hoping to see regular bubbly Wini behind the smile she was giving him. When he asked the question he saw her face drop, he saw the way her eyes seemed a bit glossier and it pulled at him. He wasn't sure hed ever seen her like this and he did not like it. He wished he was better at being a friend, more like her, so that he could help her but he wasn't.

"Well... okay... I'm here though, if you like, change your mind or anything." He said awkwardly, hands shoving into his pockets even as she picked up the pace toward the Cauldron. In a way Phillip felt relieved she didn't want to talk about it because he knew he wouldn't be able to help her, at least he assumed he'd be no good at it. In reality he was a good listener when it was important, and he'd classify this as that.

Then again, the fact that she didn't want to share whatever pain she was feeling with him was kind of insulting. He'd shared a lot of his baggage with her, he'd even teared up in front of her once --not that they would ever talk about that-- but she couldn't even tell him what was in the letter. He thought she trusted him, but he wondered if he had it wrong all along. Quietly he yanked on the door to the Cauldron as another set of wizards were exiting, they had pushed on the door from the inside at just the right moment and it made him feel off balance.

It wasn't the only thing about today that made him feel that way.

Holding the door open for her Phillip waited, eyes still on her face.

Well... okay... I'm here though, if you like, change your mind or anything. Wini's heart squeezed at how caring Lip was being. He was so kind! And yet, she couldn't quite take him up on the offer. She felt too raw, like if she started telling him, everything that was swirling chaotically inside her would just come tumbling out leaving her empty and she didn't quite know how to handle it. Still, she whispered a "thanks" to him but it was directed at her shoes as she walked a little faster.

She waited as the other wizards exited the Leaky Cauldron, the words in the letter floating in front of her eyes, making her question everything, not realizing that he was holding the door open for her. "Oh, sorry," she murmured as she stepped through hurriedly, flickering her gaze up to his face and then away just as quick. They headed to the back of the pub and Wini tapped on the brick, waiting as the doorway to Diagon opened before them. "C'mon, it's this way," she told him quietly, nodding the way toward the pretzel stand she thought he might like, all the while wondering what she had done for her mum to send a letter like this. Was it because she had decided to stay with William for a few weeks? Or was it something more?

Wini glanced at Lip, worrying her lip between her teeth. She wanted to talk to him, like he mentioned, but he didn't know where either of his parents were and she felt guilty complaining about the issues with her overabundance of parents between her mum and da and William. Plus, she really didn't know how she was feeling at the moment besides upset and sad and confused and she never really explained things well when she was upset anyway. The thought that she would normally owl her mum to ask her advice made her even closer to tears yet again so she just ducked her head and walked on.

Phillip was no stranger when it came to retreating internally, saying nothing, pretending like everything was fine. He was basically a master at this point. He never wanted people to ask him how he was doing or if he was okay. Even though he had no idea what was really happening he was intelligent enough to know that something was entirely off. Winifred was a happy witch, she was always chatty and upbeat, honestly, Phillip wouldn't have been surprised to find out she lived off of sparkles she was so giddy most of the time. It was obvious something had changed, something about that letter had really messed with her and even though he didn't know how to ask her about it he wanted to. He was so curious.

Instead of being a good friend, being like she would have been if the places were switched, Phillip remained silent. He followed her into the cauldron and then into Diagon Alley and said nothing. He wanted to say something, but the words escaped him. He wasn't skilled at this. A few years ago maybe, but he was so far removed from everything social that he was completely lost now. Wini, (Marin by association), Billie, and Aideen were his only friends these days. He didn't know how to ask or how to help her so he didn't say anything.

He followed her past the first of the shops, the silence between them was deafening. Normally he was the one saying nothing, Wini trying to get some sort of reaction out of him. Everything felt unbalanced and he wanted so much to help her. Finally, after so long, he said something. Phillip's Ravenclaw curiosity and his need to know things outweighed his lack of understanding of how to be compassionate and he pried.

"Wini, what's going on?"

The words written so clearly on the parchment kept circling round and round her mind. Wini knew it wasn’t helping. It wasn’t the smart thing to do really, but she couldn’t help it. Every time she tried to think of something else, another hurtful phrase came right back around and sent her into another downward spiral. Sadness, guilt, hurt all swirling together in a hurricane of emotion that she wasn't sure how to handle. If Lip hadn't just showed up, she probably would've shut the door to her room and cried into her pillow, hoping William wouldn't come in and also hoping he would just to comfort her.

Lip's question almost surprised her. She hadn't really expected him to ask again even though a tiny part was grateful for it. She looked up at him, her brows furrowed slightly above her watery brown eyes, biting her lip as it wobbled. But she couldn't quite meet his gaze either so she looked back down to her shoes, stopping and scuffing her shoe on the pavement. "My mum said she didn't want me to come home," she confessed in a rush, her voice full of emotion. She snuck a quick look at him before she reached into her purse and found the letter easily, holding it out to him without looking at it.

It was a little crumpled now, but she imagined the penned words would still be just as clear, just as hurtful. She knew her mum probably didn't mean to hurt her so, but the reaction wasn't something she could curb into something understanding. At least not right now. Her mum's letter was penned neatly, just like always, starting with My Dear Winifred and asking how her time in London was going, never mentioning William by name as her mom had always done. She went on to respond to a few of Wini's questions in her last letter - about the farm, about the family dog Afon and how he was doing after he had sprained his paw last month, about Nadine her childhood friend who had started dating her older brother Aeron, her sister Crystin's upcoming wedding, and how the rest of her siblings were doing.

But the little paragraph that had sent her spinning was the last one. As if it was a tacked on thought, almost carelessly added, although Wini hoped that it wasn't something that had been easy for her mum to send because she was cracking open at the thought. The penned paragraph went on about how it would be better if Wini stayed in London for the rest of the summer, phrased nicely and offering suggestions about the other things she could see and visit now that she had more time, but one thing was clear: her mum was saying that she shouldn't come to the family farm this summer. She had known the past few summers were hard with the tension Griffith radiated and she knew he wasn't very happy with her because she was the product of her mother's infidelity, but she had always thought that if she just gave him time, he might come around. Besides, she was his daughter. She considered Griffith her father, not William even though the latter was very kind.

Wini hugged herself as Lip read the letter and she glanced up at him, worrying her lip and trying to hold back tears. "I think maybe my da.." she swallowed thickly and put voice to the thought that hurt her the most. "..doesn't want me around?"

It wasn't like him to ask, to pry, but Wini was a good friend and she deserved a better friend than Phillip was. He knew this, he had always known this, and yet she still hung around him. He didn't get it but he was always thankful for it, even when she was dragging him to every Rupert book reading this side of Bristol. When he asked, he had half expected her heartbreak to be something Rupert related, but when he saw her face he realized it was so much more than that. Wini loved her celebrities, but this was real heartbreak, and it tore at him.

When she started talking Phillip's face fell flat, his eyes narrowed a little because shock or sadness was not a part of his repertoire when it came to adults endlessly failing the children who counted on them. Anger was the only thing he could harbor after she broke that news. If she hadn't handed him the letter just then, giving him something to keep his hands busy, they would have been balled up into fists by now. He uncrumpled it absently as he read it, tugging at the corners, feeling his blood boiling. How could someone do that to their own child? Phillip knew her home situation was strange, what with Wini's bonus dad and everything, but he couldn't imagine a world where a good parent would turn away their child for their own mistakes.

The letter seemed pretty standard at first, enough that the Ravenclaw started to wonder if Wini was reading between the lines, seeing some nuance in the way her mother had written that he didn't understand, but then he found it. The bombshell of a final paragraph made him clench his jaw tightly, the little muscles in his cheeks popping out as he scanned the words one more time. He hadn't realized they had stopped, just off the main street, but still kind of in the way, until someone bumped into him. Finished reading the letter he folded it back up to hand back to Wini and gave her a look that was a mix of anger and disapproval before he started talking. "Screw them," he said gruffly, considering calling her parents a few choice words but thinking against it. He didn't want to hurt her any more than she was already feeling, and knowing Wini, even in the midst of this betrayal, she would still stick up for them if he attacked. She was a Hufflepuff after all. So instead he attacked their actions, and he didn't hold back.

"Why are they fucking punishing you? You didn't cheat, it's not your fault." He motioned for them to move away from the street, finding an empty pocket near a boarded-up shop where they could talk without being jostled in the current of the street crowds. "And doing it with a letter?" Phillip thought it was even worse than the first portion of the letter had been so casual, so normal, and then wham!~ don't come home. It was the worst, it was like breaking up over owl mail, it was immature and needlessly cruel. Silently he thought her mother was a coward, and her stepdad was a jerk, but he didn't say it. Phillip hated being told what to do, sometimes he did the opposite purely out of spite, and sometimes it even made him feel better.

"Forget them, you wanna go home anyway? I can take us there right now? They don't get to banish you."

As Lip read the letter, she almost didn't want to watch. She wanted to walk away and go to Sugar & Spices even if he said he didn't want to. She wanted to go get ice cream or pick out a new robe. Something, anything to distract her from this letter that was tearing her apart inside. But instead she watched Lip's face for every minute change and somehow she wasn't sure if she should have shared or not. It didn't feel great that someone else knew her shame but the anger in his voice also made her feel safe in some weird way she didn't completely understand.

She tucked the letter back into her bag and followed him into a spot out of the main walkway. His response was immediate and visceral and it felt like validation for the anger that she felt that was layered under the hurt. For all of Lip's gruffness, he had immediately taken her side, defending her and that caused a swell of emotion inside her that she wasn't sure how to handle.

Tears welled up in her eyes, she swallowed thickly as she looked up at him and then promptly burst into tears, bringing her hands up to cover her face as her shoulders caved in. The tears kept coming and coming and even though she knew this was neither the time nor place especially with Lip who didn't even like her hugging him, she wasn't quite sure what she could at that moment other than fall apart at the seams. It felt inevitable. "But why don't they want me to come?" she cry-whispered into her hands. Why don't they love me? the real unanswered question in her mind.

Phillip's anger rose; it was a different kind of rage than he typically felt, though. It wasn't irritation or annoyance with the world; it was protective, and therefore so much stronger. In another life, the Ravenclaw might have been a Gryffindor; he was always rushing to protect those who he thought couldn't, or wouldn't, protect themselves. This time it was Winifred. She didn't deserve this bullshit, it wasn't her fault, and he knew she was going to turn it inward and somehow find a way to blame herself. She was kind in that way, and he hated to see how upset she was.

Being protective and knowing how to help, however, were two very different things. Instead of doing what should have come naturally, like hugging his friend, Winifred, Phillip began to pace back and forth. "Because they are assholes," He answered, his words coming off far harsher than Winifred deserved.

"Are you going to write them back?" Phillip asked as he snapped back to looking at her.

The tears kept coming, even though she was quite sure she was making a fool of herself right there in Diagon Alley, even if they were tucked up against a boarded up shop and mostly out of the way, but she couldn't help it. She tried to take a few deep breaths to steady herself as Lip paced in front of her. Even the deep breaths didn't really help as tears still welled in her brown eyes and her chin still wobbled.

His vehement statement rang harsh in her ears and while she appreciated his loyalty, she also didn't completely understand his anger and his immediate  assumption that they weren't the kind and caring parents she had grown up with. "No, they're not," she disagreed with a whisper even though it came out much more like a question than she had intended.

He snapped out another question and she took a step back. She had seen Lip angry before, but this felt different and she wasn't in her normal sort of mind frame to deal with it how she normally did. It just felt like one more thing she had to deal with, one more added weight, and she found herself asking, "Are you made at me too?" her lip starting to wobble again.

Phillip had barely heard Wini when she disagreed with him. He let his own nonsense and anger get in the way of being a decent friend, but what else was new? When she asked if he was mad at her, he stopped dead in his tracks and turned sharply. "What? No, why would you.." He trailed off, seeing the meek look on her face and feeling like absolute trash for making a bad situation work. "I'm sorry," He said, chewing on the inside of his lip and internally beating himself up for everything. "I didn't mean to," He told her, but Phillip had no idea how to make her feel better.

"Look," He began, closing some of the distance between them but speaking slowly. "I just hate that they are so shitty to you; you don't deserve that, but.." He paused, thinking about what he was saying, really thinking about it, and then finished. "But, it's okay if you still love them; just because they made the wrong choice doesn't mean you have to." Phillip had never been given a choice. His family was taken from him brutally, and the uncle he lived with before this summer couldn't have cared less about him. Winifred was lucky; she had William, she had like seventeen thousand siblings, and Phillip assumed her mother would come around eventually.

Still, lucky or not, Phillip knew she probably wasn't feeling like she was right now. And he never meant to diminish her feelings or make her feel bad for feeling them. He just had no idea how to deal with them. He couldn't even handle his own emotions, let alone someone else's.

His sharp turn and frank gaze, the anger he had shown, kind of made her understand a little more why younger students were a little intimidated by him. Normally she would laugh off the behavior because it was Lip. Sure he was moody and broody, especially after the battle and everything that had happened with his family, but maybe Wini didn't really know him as well as she thought she did. She blinked up at him and some of the fight seemed to go out of him and it made her take a steadying breath.

"It's ok," she said quietly, not really sure what she was forgiving him for, but giving it easily and freely anyway. She bit back the reply that her parents weren't shitty and instead just nodded. It was her default reaction to defend her parents, her family, her blood, but was that still the case even if they didn't want her? It was a harrowing question to consider and something much too deep to think about right there in Diagon Alley. She didn't want the whole world seeing her crumble to bits if she discovered an answer she wouldn't be too happy with.

"You're right," she said, trying to give him a small smile, even in her distress and sadness, she tried to give him some comfort, some confirmation that he was right and her parents were wrong. But... were they? Maybe it was better if she didn't go home? Wini was confused and hurt and she wasn't quite sure what to do next and maybe that was most terrifying of all considering she always had a plan for what's next.

She wasn't even sure if she event wanted to go to the pretzel stand she had mentioned to him. It all seemed a bit silly to her now. "Do you.." she started to ask and trailed off as she wiped at her cheeks. "I know you just got her but do you mind going back to William's? I'm not really in the mood to eat anymore."

Phillip felt like he went from almost being a decent friend to being part of the problem quicker than even he was capable of. He was so bad at this; he honestly had no idea why Winifred, or anyone, was even nice to him. Why they put up with his nonsense, he sighed, nodding as she spoke, and held his tongue. He could have said more about her parents, but what good would it do? He was projecting, he knew he was, and he needed to stop. Sliding his hands into his pockets awkwardly, Phillip had no idea what to say next.

"Oh, uh, yeah sure, whatever you want to do," He replied, thankful for the distraction and the upcoming walk. It wouldn't be as awkward to walk silently as it would have been to stand there. At least they could pretend like it was because of the crowd around them and not being able to walk side by side. He could hide behind that for a little while. "Do you want me to get you something and bring it back?" He offered before he thought about it. She said she wasn't hungry, but he felt like he'd be more use away from her than he had been so far. If she gave him a project, he could help that way, and then he wouldn't curse out her parents again, or at least she wouldn't hear it when he did.

She gave him a grateful, watery smile, thankful that he was willing to be flexible even though he had just gotten here and probably wanted to do something other than just see the inside of William's flat. Even as she felt like her world was falling apart, she didn't want him to feel like he had to be involved in the downward spiral that she was inevitably tied up in. "You don't have to go back if you don't want to?" she tried to offer even though she wasn't brave enough to admit that she didn't really want to be alone either.

She found herself wishing Marin were here even if he would only quietly listen and make sure she had enough tissues. But considering her own mum didn't want her to visit, her world felt upside down and now she was questioning everything. Maybe Marin wouldn't want to come over. Maybe he wouldn't even be home if she owled him. She was so lost in her tornado of thoughts she missed his question.

Wini glanced up at him and said, "Sorry what?" then replayed what he had said and understood. "Oh no, it's ok," she said. She wasn't in any state to ask for anything, the fear of another rejection even as something simple was too much to bear. They were back at William's flat before she realized and she was up the stairs in a flash. "I'm sorry," she murmured an apology before she escaped into her room and fell onto her bed, the tears really coming now. With a twist of the knife, she couldn't help but reach for the letter in her bag and reread the handwriting that was so familiar to her.

By the time they had reached William's flat again, Phillip felt a little lost, he should have paid more attention to how they had gotten into the alley, but he had been selfishly distracted. He made a mental note to do some exploring later because even though he could see Diagon from the window in the room she'd let him use this summer, Phillip felt like there was more to it than that. Wizarding logistics made no sense some times.

Following her up the stairs in relative silence, Phillip almost said something about seventeen times, opening his mouth, shutting it again, and frowning. Finally, she broke the silence by apologizing even though, of all parties involved, Wini had the very least to apologize about. Nothing to say sorry for, honestly, and her words made Phillip's frown grow even more profound. "Wini, it's," He began, but she was already gone and in her room.

He heard the springs of her bed as she threw herself onto it, and he blinked a few times standing on the landing. After a pause, he crossed the distance to her half-open door, and he stood awkwardly outside. He considered going in there, but he was pretty sure he was the very worst person for this job. Phillip couldn't handle his own drama; how was he supposed to deal with someone else's? He wasn't a Hufflepuff for an excellent reason. And then it came to him, he needed a Hufflepuff, and Phillip turned around quickly.

Going into his room, he found a bit of parchment and wrote a super quick (and insanely sloppy) note to Marin Clare. Taking the stairs two at a time, Phillip found William's owl in the den and hoped it didn't bite like Billie's as he approached. The wizard sent the letter and headed back up the stairs to quietly lean against the wall outside of Winifred's room. This was absolutely a job for a Hufflepuff.

[out]

It was impossible for him to know how long it'd taken the owl to get from London to Plymouth, but it didn’t take Marin long; once he'd read the note, he was getting changed – into outside clothes – and getting his wand ready to apparate. He stepped into his backyard, brushed the front of his shirt, touched his hairline with his fingertips as if to check his hair was in place, then took half a step to his right. He appeared outside her place immediately.

Marin was skeptical, because the note had come from Lip; naturally, his first inclination had been to wonder what the Ravenclaw had done. There had been a point earlier in the summer where he’d wondered if Wini had a bit of a thing for their yearmate – he’d even briefly discussed this with Lionel over a game of chess. Lip didn’t seem like Wini’s type, from what he’d observed of her crushes over the past few years, but Marin didn’t really know anything about that sort of stuff, so it was pointless to make assumptions on her preferences.

Aside from all of that though, he could barely read the note in the first place. Phillip's handwriting was truly dreadful; he pressed his lips together in disapproval as he approached her door. He knocked on the front door, then reluctantly opened it himself, hovering for a second before crossing the threshold. The note (what he could read of it, anyway) had really made things sound urgent, but he wasn’t sure how hyperbolic it was. “Hello?” he called out into the house, not impressed at all with the fact he’d had to let himself in. He went to Wini’s room; it was the most logical thing to do.

"Wini?" he called, ascending the stairs.