we grow happy as a new dawn

“Absolutely not,” was all he had to say about Clarebear. He shrugged at the next bit, but then after a moment, gave a non-committal half nod. If not Wini then who, Lionel? His mum? They were his top three friends. He supposed it should be Lionel considering the whole best man thing, not best woman, but whatever. Marin wasn’t getting married anytime soon; he didn’t need to think about it.

He wondered about the opposite situation; what might happen if Wini got married. She had a lot more friends than he did; she could probably fill up a wedding party without him. The group exited the store and started walking, apparently off to buy the new Hartwood biography. Marin wondered if Wini would read it to him like she did the last one; she'd tried to get him to read it for about a month until eventually she'd just started to read him excerpts when he was drawing.

"Fruit in dessert food is disgusting," Marin said in response to the look she gave him. He shuddered, then went back to his ice-cream.

At Marin's retort, she shot him a glare. "You could have at least tried it, Marin. Your mum liked them and said they were delicious/," she told him, in an age old argument that she was convinced she was right on. If she couldn't trust Marin's mum, then who could she trust? Really now.

Wini gave a kinder look to Billie. "I was thinking of baking some this weekend. I'll send you a few to try," she told the other blonde before shooting a glance at Marin. Then she got busy with her ice cream again because her fingers were feeling sticky from the melted ice cream. Merlin, it was so good and the mix of flavors was an interesting combo, almost a new flavor in itself, but if she didn't love ice cream comes so much, she knew she probably should've gone with the smarter choice of a cup.

Still, not like she was going to admit that now. Especially not in front of the boys.

“Oh,” Billie said, nodding. She felt a little taken aback that Wini had jumped in and answered something she’d been thinking and hadn’t voiced aloud. She did a good job of hiding it though. “I didn’t think so,” she added with a small smile.

“All kinds of things,” Billie said. “Muffins, cakes, bread… I’m trying to learn how to make croissants – er, I made some bagels from scratch last week.” She was going to mention Kendrick by name, but she didn’t really want to have to explain why she didn’t live with her parents. That was a complicated enough question as it was. Instead, she just glossed over her little verbal fumble. “I like fruity desserts,” she told Wini with a small smile. "That sounds lovely." She didn’t know what she thought about tall, quiet Marin who didn’t like currant cookies.

Billie caught Wini’s hesitation with William, whoever that was, but she didn’t ask anything because she didn’t want anything asked back. She vaguely remembered Phillip writing real dad somewhere in one of his letters, but she hadn’t asked any questions. “Craven, North Yorkshire,” Billie told Wini with a small nod. “So, pretty north,” she said. There was a gap in the questions and the blonde made sure to have some more of her ice-cream. It was warm outside, even though her robes were thin, summer robes. Again, she wished she was wearing muggle-style clothing like the others.

“London seems wonderful,” she commented politely.

Phillip followed them out of the ice cream parlor and squinted as the walked into the sun. He hated hot weather, he hated cold weather too, but he hated when the sun was out the most. If it was dark and stormy every day Phillip would be okay with that. He tried to keep from running into strangers as they walked down the busy street toward the book store. He hated crowds too. He knew there would be such a line for the new Rupert book and he had been doing so well at avoiding coming here despite how many times Wini had asked him to. And now here they were headed there anyway. Sometimes he wondered if Wini had it all planned out or if everything just seemed to work out for her because she always ended up getting what she wanted no matter how vehemently he tried to say no.

Bumping shoulders with another wizard and shaking his head Phillip gripped his cup of ice cream a little tighter. Partly so he wouldn't lose it, partly so he wouldn't complain out loud. Eating a bite he sighed as the girls talked a bunch and Marin said like one thing. He kept quiet, finding it difficult to keep up with the conversation, his ice cream, and dodging annoying people who weren't watching where they were going.

When Billie spoke he zoomed in on her though, razor focussed on the witch he desperately wanted to walk closer to. If they weren't all busy with their ice creams he might have tried to hold her hand as they walked. He looked down at his cup of ice cream as the thought crossed his mind, wishing he hadn't bought one at all. Shrugging he finally joined the conversation, in a typically Phillip type of way. "London is too crowded."

"From scratch?" Wini repeated, a bit in awe, glancing at the younger girl with a bright look. "That's so cool, you'll have to teach me sometime. Oh! We could have like a baking day! Lip, do you like baking?" she said, piling on comment after comment before sliding her gaze to her Ravenclaw friend with coy smile. If Billie liked baking then surely Lip was probably into it too.

"Oh, that must be a lovely area," Wini commented on Billie's volunteer of information. At least she was a little more chatty than the boys. As much as she loved dragging information out of Lip and Marin, it was nice to have someone who at least acted like they wanted to talk to her. "London is nice, but a little crowded," she said agreeing with both Billie and Lip, glancing between them. "It's a lot different from the farm, at least. And I thought there were a lot of people at Hogwarts," Wini added with a little laugh and a shake of her head. She was definitely a country girl so London, even though she had stayed there before with William, was still a big adjustment. She was lucky that she had Lip and Marin to visit with her, it made the adjustment a little easier.

They arrived in front of the bookstore and Wini stood up on her tip toes to peer in  through the window, trying to locate the navy blue cover with Rupert's smiling face on it that she had seen in Witch Weekly. "Do you see it? I hope they didn't sell out yet," she asked with a glance at Marin. His height was very useful sometimes. But then she glanced down at her cone which was only half-eaten and dripping everywhere. She glanced between her cone and the bookshop, knowing she couldn't go in until she finished her ice cream. "It's melting too quickly," she whined a bit with a look at Marin, asking for help, even though she didn't know what she could do to fix it. Shouldn't have gotten two scoops, she told herself. But they both looked so good!!

“Yes, from... Oh that sounds – ” Billie felt a little overwhelmed with the way Wini wasn’t really giving her room to respond. “ – Nice,” she finished quietly, her gaze following Wini’s as it slid toward Phillip. Barbie was a little like that sometimes, she thought, but Billie had known Barbara since her first year, so her housemate wasn’t quite so intimidating. Plus, she was pushing herself a little here to be likeable, so she felt stressed from that, too. Billie tucked the feeling deep down under layers of politeness, though.

“It does seem busy,” Billie said to Wini, paying her a little more attention than their Ravenclaw friend, feeling a little stressed by his sullenness in a way that she just didn't when they were alone. Wini had that air about her, like she just knew she was the main character. Billie felt like she knew how to fit with people like that, and she fell quiet as Wini addressed the taller Hufflepuff, her greenish eyes flicking to Phillip as Marin responded.

Marin finished his ice cream quickly so it didn’t melt too much, and dropped his rubbish neatly into a bin as they passed it. So, he thought, making mental notes (for Wini of course). Billie was from up north somewhere. Or, at least she lived up north, somewhere. She definitely didn’t have any sort of northern accent. He’d noticed that the four of them had quite different accents earlier on.

He’d also noticed that she said “oh” a lot, which was one of those things he couldn't unhear once he’d started hearing it. Marin listened to the conversation, slouching a bit as he walked because the girls were tiny. Billie, especially, must have barely cleared five foot… “Um,” he said, not realising that they’d arrived at the bookstore already. Marin slowed to a stop and peered through the glass, wondering what exactly he was looking for. “No,” he said simply.

The teenager glanced back at Winifred, then wordlessly held his hand to take and deal with her melting ice cream like a mother might do for a four year old.

Phillip shot Winifred a look he hoped she'd understand after she asked if he liked to bake. She knew him well enough to know the answer, so naturally, he was left paranoid by her question. "Um, not really?" He said, his eyebrows furrowing, and then he turned to look to Billie. He knew she liked baking, but she'd never asked him to bake with her. In the last few weeks anytime she'd mentioned it, it had been more of a 'Kendrick and I' type thing, so he'd figured that was something they did together. And he wasn't trying to rock that boat, it was enough that he'd gone to dinner in Craven, wasn't it? He shrugged, hoping Billie would tell him (privately) if she did want him to take up baking with her. Honestly, any excuse to be around her, but silently he prayed it wouldn't be baking.

"A little crowded?" He mumbled sarcastically, shaking his head at the idea that London was a little anything. There was too much going on, too much everything, all at once, it made it hard to breathe. If not for the generous offer to get out of Scotland for the summer and stay with Wini, Phillip would have never chosen London. Phillip caught Billie's eye and gave her a tiny smile, one that was entirely unlike him but becoming more and more common these days. This particular look was a mix of reassuring and apologetic. The teenager wondered if Billie felt as out of place as he did, but it was hard to tell because she was far more graceful with situations like this. Phillip's hand went awkwardly to the back of his neck, not really wanting to go inside but trying to find a way to say it that wouldn't set off seventy-five alerts in Winifred's mind.

"Maybe we just hang back, out here?" Phillip asked, eyes through the windows of the book shop, he could barely see past the witches all lined up for the newest book by an author he would never take seriously. He looked from the legitimately long line to Wini, feeling stupid like he was somehow asking for permission even though he'd stay outside whether she wanted him to or not. Marin would probably go with Winifred, they were like that, but Phillip hoped Billie would be the "we" in his statement. The wizard prayed for two minutes of time with just her and it was written all over his face.

She slid her gaze from Lip to Billie and then gave him a sunny smile. "Well maybe Billie can teach us all then?" she volunteered the idea, glancing at the other girl to see how she liked the idea. She had already half-agreed really so what was the harm in suggesting it. Her habit of playing matchmaker was nearly overwhelming, even though it wasn't exactly matchmaker at this point considering she was 95% sure that Lip was already head over heels for Billie. They just needed a few nudges in the right direction and Wini didn't mind helping in the least. She tried to keep the excited smirk off her face and ended up pressing her lips together to hide it. She had never really mastered the art of lying or playing coy.

"You don't?" she asked disappointed as she tried to tiptoe and lean about, trying to see through the crowd inside. "It has a red cover with Rupert's face on it and gold lettering for the title and he's winking with that cute winky face he has, you know the one I mean," she said, giving more details and nudging Marin gently with her elbow, asking silently for him to look again. She needed to be really sure that there weren't any left. "I knew I should have done the preorder thing," she muttered as she gave her cone to Marin before giving him a grateful smile and licking off her sticky fingers.

"I'm going to pop in just to make sure, I'll be back in a few!" she said before she disappeared into the shop, using her smallness to weave in and out of the crowd, intent on her mission to buy a copy of that book.

“I know the one, but no, I don’t,” Marin replied, standing a little straighter for a better view. It should probably bother him that he knew exactly the expression Wini was describing, but it didn’t. After so many years he couldn’t even say for sure that he didn’t like Hartwood. "Probably," he said matter-of-factly, turning back to her.

Wini passed him what was left of her cone, and then declared she was going inside. Now, Marin wasn’t the most astute person, socially, but he felt awkward standing with Billie and Lip, and Wini was already disappearing into the store. His legs were a lot longer than hers, and he could probably close the gap between them pretty quickly, but he wasn't as good as she was at navigating through crowds... and she was gone.

He glanced back at the other two. “I’m going to find a bin,” he said flatly, holding up the melted mess Wini had left him with, before disappearing. He could actually see a rubbish bin from where he was, but he’d learned over the past couple of years that there were actually a lot of situations that he could just leave if he didn’t feel comfortable, and he was taking advantage of that fact by walking further than he needed to.

The blonde gave Wini a smile, and nodded politely at her suggestion. Billie liked observing the way Phillip behaved with his friends; these were people he spent time with. People who knew him. She spent so much time alone with him that she’d barely seen him interact with other people, which was a little strange, given that they’d been so close for at least the past six months. Her attention switched between him and Wini. She felt the slight tension there, and wondered what was causing it.

He seemed grumpy, or grumpier than usual, and Billie wasn’t sure how to respond to it. When they were alone she could just focus on him. She could work out if he wanted silence or a distraction. She was gentle, and open, and it usually teased him out of his worse moods. She couldn’t really do that right now though, in front of the others. She didn’t know which sides of him he showed them, and in what contexts.

She felt a little social pressure ease as Wini disappeared; Marin’s presence was a little more serene. When he left too, she turned to Phillip. The street was fairly crowded, but she searched his expression hesitantly as if they were in a room a lone. “Hello,” she said with a small smile, feeling her stomach flutter just a little at the idea of being “alone” – if only for a moment.

Visibly fighting a roll of his eyes, Phillip's head tilted back slightly before he gave Winifred a look. Sometimes when he thought too hard about it, the Ravenclaw wondered how the two of them had become friends in the first place. They were such polar opposites that it didn't make sense on the outside. Where she was bubbly and energetic, he was grumpy and apathetic. There didn't seem to be any common ground between them, but somehow they had found it. Winifred was one of the only friends he had left before everything had happened, from before he'd become this shadow of a person he used to be. She'd stuck by him even when he wished she would have left him alone. Always cheerful. He wasn't a very good friend, and he certainly didn't deserve a friend like Winifred (or Billie, or Marin, or any of them really), but he was silently thankful.

When Phillip had started Hogwarts so many years ago, he'd been a lot like his Hufflepuff friend. Bright, energetic, and excited, and then life happened. Unfortunately for students around their generation, Phillip's story was typical, people were lost during the war, missing or killed, and that hopeful energy was snuffed out of too many children. He was far from the only person who lost someone, but he hadn't worked as hard as many of his peers to move forward. It seemed he would be forever stuck in grief, pessimism, and a generally bad mood.

Until he met Billie.

The witch had a way about her that always made him feel more at ease, comfortable, and far less cranky than usual. He enjoyed talking to her and just being around her. It was rare for Phillip to trust someone so completely that he felt like he could share anything with them. Opening up had always been difficult for Phillip, and he wasn't great at communication, but he never felt pressured by Billie. It was nice to not have to worry about whether she was snapping to judgment or worse, not really even listening on the infrequent occasions when he did have something to say. And the more recent developments of their friendship made him feel something he'd nearly forgotten: hope, excitement, and all of those emotions he'd been avoiding for so long.
 
There was a blur between when he'd mentioned staying outside, Wini floating inside, Marin doing his wallflower disappearing act, and Billie saying hello. Like everything around him whooshed by until he could focus in on Billie's words entirely. They had a moment alone, and Phillip was thankful for it. He took a deep breath, feeling like the walls weren't closing in on him for the first time this afternoon, and exhaled with a little smile. "Hi," he responded, quietly but loud enough to hear over the commotion all around them. The disorder that suddenly didn't seem quite as annoying or intrusive. He reached his hand out toward her's, wishing he could pull her close but not knowing how she might feel about the publicness of it. Phillip could care less about what other people saw or thought of him, but he wasn't thinking about himself. "Sorry about all the questions." He said as the sour look on his face melted into something more tender, his green eyes searching hers.

“Oh, there’s no need apologise,” she said, rebuffing his apology with gentle eyes and a soft shake of her head from one side to the other. “I hope my answers were sufficient,” she added, her eyes flicking away from him momentarily as she glanced towards the glass window separating them from the bookstore. Somewhere in there, Wini was looking for her book. Billie wondered what the older girl’s impression of her was, and was nervous for it to be good.

She felt her heart flutter a little at the way he was looking at her. What was he thinking? Not knowing what exactly was happening between them was making her feel like a child.

Her hand twitched, the idea of touching his arm as she spoke materialising in her mind for a moment, but she remained where she was. “Are you okay? Is this–” she made a restrained gesture, “–okay?” She tried to read his expression, and tried to communicate more than she was saying with words, too. It was clear that he felt some of the social pressure she was feeling, but she wanted to do her best to make it easier for him. When it was just the two of them, she didn’t feel caught between appeasing Wini and appealing to him, but they wouldn’t be “alone” for long.

The wizard had never much liked crowds but he was thankful for the few minutes of alone time. The rest of the world seemed to get quieter when he could finally focus on Billie only. "Your answers were perfect," Even though he was a little moody about the whole thing Phillip honestly thought the day was going well enough. Winifred wasn't asking too personal of questions (yet?) and Billie was answering them gracefully. It could have been a lot worse, which of course, the pessimist had worried it would be. When she moved slightly, her hand toward him, and then hesitated Phillip took note of it and his stance softened a little. "I'm okay, are you okay?" He parroted back to her as he often did, like a mirror wanting to keep the conversation focussed on her instead of himself.

Reaching out Phillip took her hand in his and tugged on it gently. He pulled them away from the busy entry way of the shop and toward the windowed brick wall. It was less hectic here, less people going in and out, but he wished it was even more private. Wished they were anywhere else and that they were there alone. Holding her hand wasn't quite enough, and even though it made him want more, it still made the teenager happy. "Wini might be in there a while, that line seemed rather long."

“Oh,” she breathed. Perfect. That was how he’d described her that day in the rain, on the beach. She wondered if that word would always carry a kind of weight for her when it came from his lips, or if that was something that would pass someday.

“Yes,” She said simply. It was a stressful situation for the blonde, but it wasn’t insurmountable. And she wasn’t having a bad time. As he reached for her hand, she wanted to melt like her ice cream had – no, she certainly wasn’t having a bad time. When he pulled her out of the crowd a little, Billie followed. She met his gaze, knowing that her cheeks were probably red by now, and unsure of what to say. It was awful, sometimes, to want so badly for people to like you, but Billie spent a lot of time with those kinds of feelings, and she knew she wasn’t doing badly so far. With any of them, him included.

“It did... seem rather long,” she agreed, elongating her sentence perfectly so as to not only be standing here giving him one or two syllable answers to everything he said. She was a little lost for words now that they were alone, though. Should she ask how he’d been? They’d written to each other every day; she knew how he’d been. Should she ask how he felt about her? If he wanted to kiss her again, or to make anything official? Questions like that seemed so frivolous in comparison to the way she really felt about him by now; she didn’t know how to reconcile the two things.

"She seems lovely," Billie said instead. "And Marin, too," he added quickly. "I like your friends," she finished, feeling a little shy.