if you leave the light on { d a n j e r }

"What?" she asked again, but then, "OWL is fifth, Dan," she said, amused.

The other thing had her feeling a bit tense. She straightened up a little, but didn’t pull back, so she wasn’t on his shoulder now, but more at almost eye-level. Still close, though. He was laughing, and she smiled a bit, but it didn’t feel that funny to her right now. She wondered what she’d have done if he’d asked her out in fifth year. Or, she wondered what would have happened anytime since then, too. She didn't mean to, but she searched his eyes a little with her own.

It was weird to look back on for Freya; she really, honestly hadn’t considered Danny like that aside from maybe briefly around the time they’d kissed in school? And even then, it hadn’t been a very serious consideration; she’d still been hung up on her ex. They’d always been friends, so it made sense that they kept being friends, didn’t it? It was easier for things to stay the same rather than change.

But also, they’d been so much closer in the past couple of weeks, and he’d been so sweet every time they’d been alone.

But then, he was sort of dating that other girl – Ellie, she corrected internally – now, or at least had a second date lined up anyway. Freya had seen them singing together at that party; they looked very cute together.

Freya’s mind was working kind of slowly, but she recalled the conversation they’d had on Jeremy’s floor the other night about the way other people saw you, and how it was weird when it didn't line up with how you saw yourself. Danny’s impression was that she’d been fighting off guys all through school or something, but no one had asked her out in fifth year except for Seth, and that was only on that one date. She wasn’t sure how to respond to it.

There was a pause, her slow, drug-addled brain trying to put everything together. A gentle breeze blew, and she was thankful; sitting so close to him was making her kinda sweaty. She felt a bit unfocused, and worked to combat it. The result was that she was extra focused on his eyes. "I probably would've said yes," she said, her voice a bit slower than usual, and her tone a little more intense. "if you asked." Honestly, she wasn't a hundred percent sure. Fifteen year old Freya hadn't had access to this Danny – the sweeter, more honest version of himself – back then. But whatever, it felt like the truth now.

He met her gaze for a second and then glanced away, saying, "Don't look at me like that Tricky," as he shook his head, looking out at the mediocre London sunset. Made him miss the family farm and the sunsets sinking down behind the fields. His chest tightened a bit and he had a sudden wave of homesickness wash over him. It was better than thinking about whatever look Frey was giving him. He glanced at the joint and wondered if Jere had made an emotional strain. Merlin, help him then. Freya was going to be off her rocker if that was true.

Her 'I probably would've said yes,' had him turning curious eyes on her. "Really?" he asked, a second before he guffawed. "No, you wouldn't have, Tricky," he told her, bringing up a hand to poke her cheek, forgetting his earlier reminder to himself to be gentle. "Besides, I think Greg called dibs or something," he muttered with an eye roll, also forgetting that calling dibs on a call wasn't really something you were supposed to tell said girl. Whoops. Hopefully neither of them would remember any of this anyway.

But he couldn't stop of thinking of the idea. Him and Tricky? As 5th years? He couldn't remember specifics, but he was pretty sure that he was thinking about girls 24/7. He would've jumped at the chance of any girl saying yes to a date with him. Not much had changed in that department. But he did like to think he was at least a semi-better guy to be around. He was making at least a quarter less raunchy, crude jokes these days. Baby steps.

“What look?” She wondered what look he felt like she was giving him. She felt a bit serious all of a sudden, and wondered if that was what was translating.

Really?

Her heart was beating kinda fast, and she wasn’t exactly sure why. Drugs? Danny? She was feeling a little intense, like she really needed him to understand. Vaguely the memory of crying over the jar of chocolate chip cookies resurfaced and she wondered if she was doomed to feel intense things anytime she got high. But no, she thought, what she felt right now was clearly very relevant and valid and important, unlike anything she’d ever felt in the past.

When he poked her in the cheek, a little too hard, she slapped his hand away, frowning a bit. “I only went on one date that year,” she insisted, “and I didn’t turn anyone down.” Her heart was still beating fast, but now it was a bit different. She felt like he was dismissing her. Freya wasn’t even sure she meant what she’d said, but she’d said it, and he wasn’t listening.

“Greg…” She trailed off, looking away from him now. “Called –“dibs” – did he?” she made the air quotes with her fingers. She pulled away a bit, needing some space. Suddenly it wasn't so nice to be here; her skin was too sticky where she was touching him, the fire escape floor too hard and uncomfortable. After a moment, she pushed up to her feet unsteadily, holding the rail as she felt that slidey feeling again. "Lets go inside," she said, before stepping past him to climb through the window first.

He shrugged. "I dunno, that look," he answered easily, trying to brush it off. It's not like he really could explain what that look did to him. He didn't do well with regret either. He hated the feeling on missing out on something. It was like a slick swoop in his stomach that he couldn't get away from and when it came to Tricky and maybe what if going on a date with her? Nope. Wasn't going there.

The back of his hand stung where she slapped him and he shrugged again at her words. He was very nonchalant with the weed weaving through him, smoke on his tongue. She was insisting though so he made a joke of it to avoid having serious words. "Well, look. You would've fallen madly in love with me if I would've asked you out, pining all over me so I did you a favor. You're welcome," he blabbed on. Did he have a point? At this point, he wasn't sure if he had made it or what it was or even if he had told the joke right. Oh well.

Danny stilled, the joint halfway to his lips as she threw air quotes at him. "Uh oh," he muttered, not realizing he said it out loud a second after the syllables tumbled from his lips. He saw that look on her face. Wasn't good. Tricky was mad...? She was up and sliding through the window before he could even blink. But he was moving pretty slow at that point too so he wasn't sure if it was just him. He heaved himself up, holding onto the railing, careful not to drop the joint, and pushing himself through the window, hopping on one leg backwards as he tried to slide his other one in. As graceful as ever.

Feeling munchie, he glanced up at Freya. "Want a snack? Don't want to mention you-know-who with the whole "dibs" issue but I think he has some cookies we can lie and say we didn't eat. Would be nice revengeeee," he drew out the last word as he shuffled toward her, trying to get happy, smiley Tricky back.

She almost tripped as she climbed back inside, her reflexes not exactly at a hundred percent, but thankfully made it through. She felt… weird. Emotional. There was a lot going on with her feelings right now, for whatever reason, but her brain was still sort of slow and it didn’t really all click together properly.

Freya didn’t like that he’d dismissed her like she hadn’t meant what she was saying, and she didn’t like hearing him talking about people having “dibs” on her. It just made her think about all the stuff she’d been thinking about when they’d been making out in his bed and she’d stopped him. That stupid guy shit that made her feel… ugh, bad or whatever. She didn’t know. She felt off balance, but not in the physical way. She didn’t like that his view of her fifteen year old self didn’t match up with her own, which seemed liked a stupid thing to be upset about, but only when she wasn’t hearing him talk about it.

Danny climbed in behind her and she turned and watched him struggle. She felt… confused. Bad, grumpy, closed, something. Watching him nearly fall through the window helped a teeny bit. She took the joint back from him while he was talking; it was almost finished. “Sounds good,” she said, but she didn’t sound particularly happy about it. She puffed on it as she moved out into the living room, letting him organise the food as she went for the couch. Freya lay down on it, then ran a hand from the base of her neck up so that her hair fell over the arm of the couch. Her eyes were a little unfocused as she stared at the ceiling, feeling a bit emotional and sullen.

Her answer seemed clipped and Danny pressed his mouth into a flat line as he mouthed a drawn out 'ooookayyyyy' as he turned on his heel and hunted for Greg's secret stash of cookies. After rummaging for a second, he remembered the wand in his pocket and accioed them, a big satisfied smile on his lips as the bag flew right into his face, his reactions too slow to catch it. Well, at least he had them now. He also grabbed a bag of cheese curls, just in case Tricky didn't feel like sharing again.

Danny trooped back out to the living room, seeing Freya lying on the couch, her golden curls hanging over one side. She seemed like she was... pouting? This was a little different than the emotional crying Tricky he was used to when she got high. He was pretty sure she had sobbed like her cat had died when Jere had eaten one of the cookies out of the bag she had had her arms wrapped around the last time they were high. That, he could almost deal with. But this? He wasn't quite sure. It wasn't like all the brain cells upstairs were firing correctly either. He stood over her, the front of his thighs bumping into the arm of the couch that she was resting her head on as he stared down at her.

"Don't get all emo on me," he blurted with a smile as he stared down at her. Then he held up the cookie bag like it was a reward. "I've got cookies. Want some?" Hoping, wondering, praying this would turn her mood around.

“We need another one,” she said, holding the sad little stub up for him to see. Everything smelled like weed now; she felt a bit sticky from it. The smell was in her hair, her clothes. A part of her wanted to go have a shower.

“But why do I feel it?” she asked out loud, looking at him standing above her for answers. She was struggling a little to keep focused on stuff; she kept trying to think about how she was feeling, but her thoughts trailed off and then she had to go back to the start to try and work it out. If she just focused on him, then she felt all emotions-weird. And if she focused on nothing at all, she felt like she was sliding backwards for some reason.

She reached up for the cookies, feeling like a baby reaching for a mobile or something. She'd suddenly realised just how dry her mouth was, and how gross it tasted. Those cookies were looking pretty good right now. “Can you play with my hair?” she asked, doing her best puppy eyes at him.

He glanced at the stub in her hand, now finding everything amusing and chuckled, shaking his head. Pot usually made him relaxed, laughing at everything, and only once made him anxious and pacey. He wondered if Jere had given him a weird strain on purpose in revenge for Danny eating the rest of his Goblin Flakes. Still, as he looked down at Freya, he nodded, giving in. “I’ll roll another, but we gotta go slower with this one.” He still felt like he needed to take the lead on this considering Freya wasn’t the habitual smoker he and Jere were.

“I dunno, Tricky,” he answered simply, honestly. Dumbly. Then he lowered the cookie bag to her slowly, raising it up once or twice, teasing before he let it drop into her hands. Her question bounced around in his mind as if it were looking for its own answer.

He found himself talking without really knowing where he was going with it. “Your emotions are probably just heightened, yknow? Here, turn around,” he said as he nudged her legs with his free hand so he could sit and circled a finger so that she would put her head in his lap as he kept talking. “Don’t try to overthink things, Tricky. Especially now. You’ll go nuts.”

When she was finally turned around, he brought his hands up, abandoning unopened the bag of cheese curls next to him and brushing her hair out over his lap. He felt his heart racing a bit and shrugged it off as a side effect of the pot as he sunk his fingers into her curls again. Merlin was it softer now than it had been when they were outside on the fire escape?? Danny stuck his tongue out at her as he noticed her gazing up at him on an impulse.

“Mhmm,” she said, but she wasn’t really listening.

Freya reached up, making slow grabbing motions with her hands as he teased her. She zoned out a little as he finally lowered the bag into her grasp and was only half listening as he started to answer her rhetorical question. She began on a cookie, little crumbs falling down her cheeks as she took bites.

The blonde blinked at him a couple of times, taking a moment to understand what he was asking. Realising that he was going to acquiesce to her request, she shifted around so she could lie down with her head in his lap. She dropped some cookie bits as she did so. Her bare feet rested up against the arm of the couch as she got comfy again.

It was a bit of a relief, the physical distraction. She sighed when he put his fingers through her hair. She always liked having her played with, but this felt almost otherworldly. Better than sex, she thought, frowning a little as he poked his tongue out at her. The details had faded a bit, but the melancholic undercurrent was still there, tugging her along. She closed her eyes for a moment, but quickly felt a drifting-backwards sort of feeling that didn’t feel good at all, so she opened them again after a short second.

Freya had the cookies on her chest, one hand clutching them protectively. She drew another out and took a bite before she’d finished the last one, just sort of absentmindedly looking at his face while she chewed it. After swallowing, she slowly raised the half-cookie up – he probably wanted some, they were so good – and smooshed it at his lips. It wasn’t very graceful; he looked a bit surprised, and some crumbs fell on her cheeks. A small smile appeared on her lips.

She was slow at getting the message but he smiled at her indulgently as she moved about finally laying her head on his lap. Her delighted sigh made him smile a little wider, his head feeling light. He felt her watching him, but took to gazing at her hair instead of meeting her eyes, felt easier somehow. Her curls were so pretty, like little strands of pure gold threaded through, or like the color of nacho cheese when the perfect place of nachos were delivered at Frida's, steaming and delicious. His mind was now stuck on nachos and he glanced around as if a plate of them were going to magically appear.

What did magically appear was a cookie, Tricky smooshing it against his lips and his hazel eyes widened in surprise as he automatically opened his mouth to accept her generous offer. He knew what she was like with food when she was high, cookies especially. He eyed her arm hovering protectively around the bag with amusement as he chewed and rolled his eyes at her. "Thanks Tricky," he told her sardonically as he looked down at her, noticing some cookie crumbs on her cheeks.

With the back of his fingers, he brushed them lightly off of her face, her skin feeling so smooth and soft, him feeling like he didn't want to stop touching her. "You feeling good, Trick?" he asked before he paused, screwing one eye shut. Wait. "Did you say that already.." he asked, not remembering, but smiling about it anyway.

The cookie smoosh was messy; he didn’t really open his mouth in time to get it all before bits were falling. “You’re welcome, Willy,” Freya said, a bit amused at the stupid nickname, and a bit amused at the cookie bits everywhere.

He stroked her face, and it felt good. Less good than hair, she decided, but still good. She tried to say “good” through a mouthful of cookie. “Goob,” was what came out. Freya swallowed, still kind of staring at him, zoning out a bit. “Good but... a bit sad,” she clarified. Her brain felt mushy, but there was still a bit of an achey melancholy feeling that she couldn’t decipher. Danny said not to overthink it so she was trying not to.

Absentmindedly, Freya reached up and took the hand that was still lingering by her cheek and put it back into her hair instead. She patted his cheek lightly for no reason. “I hope Jemmy has a good date, Dan,” she said, blinking slowly. “Because... he’s not back yet, so it’s probably a good date...” she added, trailing off. She was definitely feeling it a lot more now, she thought. The slidey feeling, the trailing-thoughts-feeling.

“Where’s the joint?” she asked suddenly, frowning.

He laughed a little at her messed up words, but didn't think much of it. Who knows half of the things he said when he was high. He was pretty sure he had been diatribing to Jere last week about the conspiracies behind the number of wins Puddlemere had compared to other teams who hadn't been in the league as long.

A bit sad? He tilted his head a little as if trying to figure out why she was sad? "Because Greg buys shitty cookies?" he asked in confusion, before remembering that emotional Freya probably wasn't the one he wanted to be encouraging right now. As amusing as sobbing Freya was in retrospect, he never really knew what to do. Other than stroke her hair which he was already currently doing, he mused, as she nudged his hair back to her hair.

"Yeah, that or he walked off the edge of a cliff after he messed up his big chance," he told her with a laugh, his fingers sliding through her hair again. But his thoughts drifted to Jere, slowly, swirling, like he couldn't quite concentrate on one thought for too long. "He'll be fine though. If I can figure out a blind date, Jere will be good," he summed up, being more honest than teasing for once.

Her question had him rolling his eyes as he glanced at the table where the new joint he had rolled was waiting neatly for them. He picked it up and brought it to her mouth, waiting for her to wrap her lips around it before he shifted to dig for his wand in his pocket. "Slow, remember?" he reminded her as he touched his wand to the tip, whispering the charm he knew so well.

“Noooo,” Freya protested, pushing his face playfully. She didn’t want to hear anything about Jeremy walking off a cliff. She was sure that if Danny could pull off a blind date with a gorgeous girl, then – Oh. Freya blinked as Danny basically said the exact words that had been in her head, as if he’d somehow suddenly developed telepathy or something. Legilimens Danny? She wasn’t sure she wanted to see that… She gave him a look. After a moment, though, she smiled a bit. “I need to know everything when he comes back,” she told him earnestly.

Danny leaned forward for the joint on the table and Freya got a little squished. “Mmph?” she said into his shirt. It was just a moment, though, and then he was back. From his lap, she watched him again, unable to look anywhere other than his hazel eyes as he touched his fingers to her lips. It was… Too sexy, she thought. Too sexy for just friends. But also she couldn’t really look away...? She parted her lips, he lit the joint, she breathed in the right way, he moved his hand, there was a little space, then, but still not really enough space to think –

Freya coughed, the joint falling out of her lips and into her hair and she reacted belatedly, her hands moving from the cookie bag to paw at her hair in what should have been panic and was more of mild alarm. There was a very faint bad burning-hair smell but she found it before she could do too much damage. Freya handed him the joint and pushed herself up, needing a little air, and to not be horizontal anymore. Her head spun a little as she moved herself to sit beside him, leaving a bit of a gap between their bodies.

She stared ahead for a moment, brushing a bit of ash out of her curls, before she looked at him again, giving a vague sort of smile. She reached for the cookie bag that had fallen on the floor. “I forgot to say,” she started, unsure why this had come to mind just now. Definitely not because of any weird reasons. “I think I might be going on a date soon too.” She hadn’t wanted to bring it up while Jeremy was the focus of the night, but once he’d gone, they’d just talked about… other stuff. “Maybe,” she added, reaching for a cookie.

He let her push his face to the side, grinning down at her as she took exception to his guesstimate of what had happened to Jere. He felt himself sinking into the couch even more, his body completely relaxed, it was almost a real effort to keep stroking Tricky's hair, but he would do it for her. "What?" he asked belatedly as he noticed her giving him a look. He couldn't decipher her looks normally, and especially not when he was under the influence. But she was smiling a few seconds later and the question flitted out of his mind. He nodded in agreement. "I'm sure he'll tell us everything," he assured her. It was easy to get info out of his roommate. All you had to do was offer nachos.

Oh! Speaking of nachos, he glanced around as if hoping a plate would magically appear. "Accio nachos!" Danny said to the room at large, hoping some would zoom to him, steaming hot and extra cheesy. He, of course, wasn't even holding his wand, didn't do the spell correctly, and there were no nachos in their flat so he sighed back into the couch. It was at least worth it.

At her little noise, Danny glanced down at her, realizing what he had done. It made him chuckle. "Sorry Tricky," he said as he patted her forehead a couple of times. He couldn't seem to look away from her though. Couldn't look away from where her lips wrapped around the joint, his thoughts got carried away a bit thinking about her lips wrapped-- "Oh no!" he exclaimed quietly as she started coughing and the joint fell between them, rolling into her hair, and Danny was useless at helping to find it.

Luckily she had found it, but she was already moving away from him and the air felt cool and empty in her wake. He blinked a few times before he dragged on the joint, exhaling the smoke slowly. It felt like his mind was swimming through jello as he watched her brush out her curls, idly remembering how it had felt when his fingers were tangled in the strands and missing it. His gaze skittered to her as she mentioned a date. "Hot Duncan again?" he asked with a perked brow as he tried to remind himself that friends should be happy about friends going on dates.

Freya snorted as Danny tried to accio the nachos, unable to muster the energy to tell him off for being dumb or, alternatively, point out how dumb he was being by explaining why that definitely wasn’t going to work.

The blonde coughed a couple more times, clearing her chest as she sat up.

“Um, no, actually,” she said. After a beat, she smiled again as the memory of kissing Indy in Freddy’s basement resurfaced in her mind, and shook her head. She looked at Danny again, holding her hand out for the joint as he offered it. Her eyes were glassy and a little unfocused. “I made out with this guy at Freddy Mutton’s party this week?” She looked a little confused, like she couldn’t quite work out how it had all happened. Freya took a drag, paying careful attention to her breathing so she didn’t mess it up and start coughing all over the place like last time. She gave it back to him, blinking slowly as she exhaled.

“You two were there,” she added. They’d said a brief hello at one point, but Freya had showed up to that party with Tess and the girls, so she’d spent more time with them. Well, until she’d run into Callum’s Hot American Friend, that was.