[Sorrento] I hold onto this moment and I won't let go (T)

The orange rays hitting her face woke her from sleep as they peaked over the sea and into her window. The silk bedding was cool against her skin even if next to her Terrence was warm and still. Head on the pillows next to his she watched out the window as the sun crept up into the sky slowly. Next to her she could hear him breathing steadily and she smirked knowing after the night they’d had he was probably still exhausted. Farren’s mind drifted back to the night before. The way he’d kissed her, the way he’d touched her, it was impossible to forget. At this point they’d spent hundreds of blissful nights together but here things felt different. The raw passion was almost too much to cope with. At some points she had been sure she was going to literally break apart in his arms. Of course she hadn’t. Of course they’d collapsed together gasping for air, tangled up together, unwilling to let go even for a moment. It was as delicious as it was exhausting.

Eventually realizing she was not going to fall back asleep she slid out of bed. Standing over the bed it was almost painful to look back at him. His hair tousled, his five o’clock shadow along that sharp jaw, it was all too alluring. If she wasn’t so sleepy herself she’d have crawled back into bed to wake him slowly. In her mind's eye she could see his smug, sleepy grin, as he awoke to her affections. But the boy looked so sweet sleeping there she couldn’t bring herself to disturb him. So she pulled on an airy white gown that had been carelessly discarded on the floor and tip toed out of their room.

It was going to be another sweltering, Amalfi August day but the marble floors were cool underfoot still. The kitchen elves were already busy preparing breakfast and were more than happy to provide her a cup of iced coffee. Farren passed through the lavish rooms of the villa, past ancient roman sculptures and antiquities out onto the sprawling terrace.

She’d never wanted for a thing in her life. Her family owned a sprawling estate with not one but two mansions in Cumbria. They owned a massive mansion in West London. An old castle in Scotland and a half dozen smaller properties. However two days ago when she had taken Terrence’s arm to apparate from his London penthouse to her ‘one year anniversary’ gift she hadn’t expected that gift to be a grand Amalfi Coast villa literally hanging off the side of a cliff. To say she’d been shocked was an understatement. Of course she was well aware of Terrence’s success; she hadn’t been aware he’d become quite this successful. He’d bought it in a shambles and restored it to its architectural glory exhibiting his fine talents and taste. The art and interiors of the house were so magnificent and historic it had to be a registered site of antiquity with the Italian Ministry of Magic. She never thought she’d own a property that outshone Dalemain but here she was on the terrace of her six bedroom, listed historical villa filled with more ancient art than some museums.

A year ago he’d made it clear to her that she was his one. That all his hard work was for her and that no one else would ever make him happy. She had no doubts in her mind about what this relationship was or where it was going. However as he’d swept her into his arms and carried her over the threshold of this house it had all seemed so surreal. He’d joked about filling the six bedrooms of the house with children and she knew a proposal was closer than ever. This was a signal. There were no other barriers in their way. He’d loved her, cared for her, waited for her, made himself a real man for her, and now he’d provided for her.

For the last year she’d felt like she was finally doing what she was meant to do. Her work on her society to preserve magical heritage was no massive endeavor yet but kept her busy and engaged. Terrence was the love of her life and they were both finally mature enough to have a successful relationship. Yawning she made her way to the chaise lounge she’d all but written her name on for the last two days. The novel she was reading was laying on the tiled floor beside it. She smirked, she’d been reading that book in this very spot the afternoon before when Terrence had pulled it from her hands, tossed it aside, and climbed on top of her.

Picking it up she slid back onto the chaise and thumbed through the pages to the one she’d last dog eared. Sipping her coffee she returned to the story relishing how pleasurable it was to lounge in luxury like this. However it was difficult to focus on a book with such a spectacular view right in front of you. The villa looked out over the Gulf of Naples, the turquoise water shimmering in the early morning sun. It was already warm and despite herself she found herself daydreaming as she drifted into that cozy place between wake and sleep.

It had taken so long to get here. She’d known Terrence her whole life. They were in fact family, something the nastier gossip columns liked to remind the world anytime they looked especially handsome at public events. However,  they hadn’t shared a direct relative since the early 1700s. In fact for a couple generations his people hadn’t even gone by Abercrombie as they’d been disowned in the early 1800s for friendly muggle born relationships. But over the generations the family shrunk to near extinction and it was better to have some Abercrombies than none. Even if two thirds of the ever shrinking pool had been removed from the line of inheritance.

They’d watched each other grow up. He had always been her confidant in the Slyterhin common room, the wise (seeming), handsome older boy. Each summer he’d spent at Dalemain sharing tutors with her. He bound into his teenage years three years ahead of her. She’d watched with inexplicable anger as his girl friend of the hour fawned over him around school. But she’d caught up quickly and wasn’t blind to the interest he took in her love life too. No suitor was ever good enough for Terrence and while he didn’t cause trouble with the boys he made it clear to her where he stood.

Things had started to get tense between them in some quiet way by the time she was fifteen. Eventually things started happening, a stolen kiss after the Yule Ball, an unexpected make out session in an empty dormitory, they didn’t talk about it, they just acted on their gut feeling. That summer, before her sixth year, after his graduation things had happened neither had expected. He was the first boy who had ever touched her intimately. He was the first boy to sleep in her bed. He was the first boy that made her body ache with desire. Even though she swore to herself it was all teenage hormones that excuse had never settled, even with her. Now it was evident why.

A lifetime had filled the space between those tender teenage summer nights and last August when he’d fallen to his knees and declared his love for her. Engagement, war, death, and international borders had stood between them. Now all of that was just part of what made up an almost decade long love story. She’d fallen in love with him when she was fifteen and never really gotten over it.  Even though she’d spent the last seven years denying it, even though she’d almost married two other people, even though she’d tried to ignore it, she never stopped loving him.

He was her home. When he was near her there was an undeniable warmth in her heart. His touch set her skin on fire. Making love to him was like falling in love all over again. She felt something she’d almost didn’t realize was possible, it’d been absent from her life for so long. Happiness. There was no pretense, no facade, no hoops to jump through, no expectations - she could just be. He made her smile, he made her laugh, he made her forget the cold rigidness and vicious cruelness she’d used to cope with the world.

Sighing heavily she opened her eyes, staring out across the sea. She never thought this was how it would turn out but it had. Her soul had been dark and lonely until he had walked into her bedroom seventeen months ago to escort her to an event and swept her off her feet. It was horribly cheesy, if she was looking on she’d roll her eyes, but she wasn’t looking on. This was her life. Imperfect, messy, and tragic at times but now he was here to hold her together through the bad bits. It was impossible not to smile to herself just thinking about how far they’d come. Soon he would wake up and come looking for her. They’d sit in the glass portico sharing a lavish breakfast in the Italian sun. Perhaps they’d spend the day in the gardens or in the sea on the little boat that docked in a cave at the bottom of the cliffs, he did have a special fondness for boats after all.

The warmth of the sun stirred him from his sleep making her absence in bed all the more noticeable as the space next to him had cooled. His arm moved out instinctively to the place she had been hours ago to meet the chilled silk of the empty space next to him. Slowly Terrence opened his eyes letting the warm glow of light wake him fully as he moved to sit up. Long fingers moved to run through his tousled hair as his lungs expanded with a deep breath. His eyes hadn’t opened completely just yet but he could tell from the silence in the room that he was alone. Strong hands ran over his face in hopes of rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Bare feet touched the cool of the marble floor beneath him and broad shoulders rolled before he rose from the comfort of the bed. A smirk playing on his lips as he saw the scattered evidence of their night before. Images playing themselves in his mind as he pulled on a pair of silk pajama pants, his gaze drifting around the room slowly taking in the beauty that had surrounded them for days.

It was strange, this calm that followed him now. This serenity that only came from her presence now told him his chaos had been from loving her from afar. All the recklessness had come from his fears of commitment and his uncertainty of her affection. Even still, now in the Amalfi sun, he worried but not of loving her only that she would wake to realize that there was someone far greater than him to love her. That this, their love, was a stopgap in her journey to true happiness. It had been a hard journey, more of hero’s tale, to get to this point. He had devalued his own worth trying to market himself in hopes of gaining praise from his father. He had toyed with the thought of loving her quite often in his teenage years and in those thoughts he wondered if the love he felt stemmed his father constant reminders or some hidden piece of his heart. He had wondered if she might ever love him as she had Declan, fiercely and without inhibition.

The gentle sound of his footfalls echoed in the quiet hall as Terrence made his way through the luxurious villa. He could remember stumbling upon it just under a year ago and in its ruin he saw a beauty that only she could appreciate. The marble floors had been the only piece of the structure untainted by time. He took care in restoring it to what it had once been. This was not to be rush much like that of their love for each other. In its basement he found the art, such exquisite art that it seemed shameful to have hidden it away as they had before him. It very well may not have been their home but he knew once it had been made whole again it would be solely hers. A place untainted by the opinions of others. A place that she could find solace from the word and the responsibilities that came with being Farren Abercrombie.

Long legs came to a stop as his gaze fell upon her and for just for a moment he forgot to breathe. There she was just as he knew she would be and his eyes couldn’t help but run over her, a slow and deliberate action, taking in how peaceful she looked. It was reminiscent of a photo from a travel magazine, the beautiful horizon in the background with a gentle glow of the rising sun illuminating the beauty of the girl reading in the window. Only this girl was Ren and the sun’s warmth magnified her already breathtaking features. As he often did Terrence found himself mesmerized by her. Words just inches from his lips but there was no sound only his gaze and the soft repetition of his breathing.

Terrence stepped into the space, her space, quietly the smile he wore widening as he moved closer to her. “Good morning beautiful.” He whispered as he leaned to kiss her and moments from their last time in this room swam through his head. He could hear her giggling and could feel her touch as if he was transported back to that very moment. “I hope you slept well.” He mumbled against her lips, kissing her once more before sitting. Their night had been long as had most of their days but it seemed some poetic story each time. There an undeniable pull and Terrence had never been one to ignore such a call. He had longed for her for what seemed like an eternity. Had been given glimpses of what he had often wished he had been worthy to possess wholly. He wondered if she thought he had been after her body all those years ago, if he was set out to ruin her in some way for other men. He couldn’t lie and say the thought had never crossed his mind then but far more he wanted her affection – no he wanted her love – than any intimate encounter.

“I knew this is where I might find you.” He looked out towards the water, “We should take the boat out today. The weather should be perfect for it.” He noted to himself more than her before he turned his gaze back in her direction, “Remember the last time we were on a boat alone? “ he asked as once more a smirk played on his lips, the memories flooding back as they often did. “I wonder if we can’t recreate the moment.” He offered before his eyes shifted to the gentle knock the elf standing with its head bowed waiting to be acknowledged, “Though I suppose there is still so much of the villa to explore before we reach the boat.” He cleared his throat, “We’ll be there shortly.” The man said as he looked at Farren, “Are there any changes you want?” He wondered if she loved the place as much as it seemed to him or if he was projecting his own feelings out into the room.  “If there is anything you want to be different…”

His hero’s tale had come full circle and Terrence could see the moments of their lives where he thought this life would never be his. He could recount the terrible choices he had made in the past that had nearly shattered them. He could picture the times when he had truly disappointed her and all seemed bleak. But blended almost to the point of invisibility were those rare moments in which he was becoming the man he was meant to be. The man she had always knew he held the promise to be. Farren had never pushed him to change and for that he had been grateful. It allowed him to become himself and not a sad design of what he thought she wanted. It had taken him time to find his footing but the moment his ground had become solid he knew there was no foundation for a future without her by his side. He wanted far more than the beginnings of something wonderful he wanted forever. His proposal had been in the works for a year and a half and his soul it he’d to ask her. To bend knee and present her with a ring as the weight of their future rested on her lips. “I love you.” He said suddenly, “I didn’t think this would be us. Oh, I hoped but I never thought that we would be here. Thank you,” once more he leaned to kiss her “For never giving up on me.”

His voice made her smile without even realizing she was doing it. It was stupid but she loved when he told her she was beautiful. Small things. Before she could even turn around he was in front of her, leaning down to her. His lips were soft and familiar. His proximity was intoxicating even during the most mundane of gestures. The scent of him, the heat radiating from his body, the familiar tender scruff of his stubble against her skin. She reached up and placed her hand on the back of his neck, instantly toying with his hair as he kissed her. “Good morning,” she said her smile widening.

As he sat down she shrugged, “I forgot to close the curtains last night. So the sun woke me up too early but it’s ok,” she tilted her head towards the coffee she’d already nearly finished signifying a little jolt and she’d be fine.  “It is lovely out here at this time of day.” She was still smiling as she leaned in closer to him, “Of course I remember the last time we were on a boat alone.” How could she forget? She had been sixteen and he, nineteen. He was by that age a man of the world and she was still a maiden. Their dynamic had changed so drastically over the school year before. By the time he’d found her sunning on her little sail boat on the lake the sexual and emotional tension between the two teens had reached a breaking point. He had patiently and tenderly showed her that intimacy was much more than she’d realized. She would never forget that day. Looking back it was so obvious that they’d already started to fall in love. That day was often on her mind even years later. When other men came along there was always a fleeting flutter of a memory of that day in her mind. No, he had not ‘made her a woman’ so to speak but he had showed her how becoming one later was neither a thing to fear nor dread but in fact look forward to. In doing so he’d left an imprint on her heart she clearly never recovered from.

“I’m sure we could recreate the moment today if you’d like. Though I will suggest that this time we give it the ending you actually wanted and not the ending you got,” brow arched she grinned teasingly at him. There had been no doubt then what he’d desperately wanted to achieve on that boat. When she was sixteen no man had the privilege to take what he’d wanted and he hadn’t asked. Once upon a time she’d believed that her worth was tied up in saving such a thing for after a wedding. “I suppose there could be some cruel pleasure in recreating the events on the boat exactly and making you wait until bedtime,” She loved to tease him, he was so easy to wind up. They both knew if they took the boat out they would end up tangled together in the heat of passion, going where they’d not dared to go all those years ago.

She glanced over her shoulder at the house elf, the uniform toga clean and bright. Terrence was ever so generous to the creatures granting them partial work days to enjoy the sun as they desired. Admittedly, she was still warming up to things like half days off for elves but in relationships she’d learned one had to pick their battles. It was no use getting into an argument over such trivial things. Instead she took his kindness towards the poor things as a positive. If he’d have told her seven years ago on that boat that not only would he be exclusively intimate with her and giving her house elves time off in less than a decade she’d have laughed in his face. Yet here they were.

“No, nothing should change here. You did everything perfectly. Just like when you did the hotel,” she said in a smooth, reassuring tone reaching out to him again. She gently grabbed his arm, giving his bicep a reassuring squeeze. This was how they were in private. Quiet and tender. There was desperate passion between them but it was a controlled burn now.  He often doubted himself and in private she quietly stood beside him, metaphorically holding his hand along the way as he needed. It was a role anyone who knew her publicly would never assume for her. With him she was not cold, not calculating, not self obsessed, and not manipulative. She was just Farren and he was just Terrence. The two people they’d been as children with much more life knowledge gained now.

He kissed her again. He loved her. She knew that but like being told she was beautiful she didn’t ever tire of hearing it. Terrence was deeply sentimental, it was something she appreciated and desperately needed in a partner. Her sentimentality always felt so uneasy, partially performative even, emotions were not easy for her to manage, even if she’d made progress in the last year. After all that had happened it was difficult for her initially to say she loved him. For awhile it had gotten stuck inside her, that feeling only a feeling, never the words. Now though love seemed almost too simple a word for her feelings for him. She longed for a word more profound and deeper yet. Being with him was like being at home - the only place she truly belonged. It was the only place she could be herself. All the times she stood quietly beside him, supporting him, paled in comparison to the times he’d enveloped her in protection. When he wrapped his arms around her she was safe to be whoever she really was.

Pulling away from his lips ever so slightly, she slid down the chaise so her body was pressed against his side. “You know I’d have never been happy if this wasn’t the ending, right?” she asked. Smiling softly she glanced down at his lips again and quickly kissed them. It was true. “I love you,” she murmured against his lips before reaching up to tilt his chin closer to her kissing him deeper yet.

Sighing she stroked his cheek tenderly. She knew they should get up and go eat breakfast. They should probably take showers, no definitely should. But all she wanted to do was lay on this lounge and kiss him. The corners of her mouth tugged into a grin as she trailed her fingers lightly down his bare chest absently. “So much in fact,” she inhaled deeply, “T….being here these couple of days. Falling asleep in your arms, waking up next to you, being able to have my way with you any second I want,” she smirked a hint of blush rising in her cheeks. “I know you love the apartment at the hotel. I do too. I love Dalemain. It will always be my home. But….I want us to be in the same home.” Looking deep into his eyes she smiled softly. They had come here as a vacation. When this was over they’d go back to England and he’d go back to his apartment in London and she back to Dalemain. Sure she’d stay the night at his apartment half the week. He’d come to Dalemain on the weekend and sneak into her room when the house was asleep and stay until the first light before sneaking out. But now things were different after being here.  The space, the privacy, their own home, crafted by him for the pair of them, everything else felt incomplete. Not that she’d had any doubts but now she was more sure than ever. It was time.  “Grandfather will never let you move back into Dalemain unless we’re married and I think we’ll out grow your apartment pretty quickly. So I was thinking….maybe we should start to think about where we will live together - permanently.” Pursing her lips she glanced down anxiously and ran her hand through her hair. “I mean, I know you want to marry me, I’d just prefer us have a set destination for the wedding night….and all the other nights.”