when it feels like this | billie

Going to a muggle movie theatre would have never been at the top of Phillip's to-do list if not for Billie. Even for the half-blood, it was a stretch, doing something so muggle, especially after not stepping a foot into his mother's world for almost three whole years. He thought it'd be different, going to something that was so specifically not magical, that it would remind him of the things he used to do with his family. None of his worries seemed to carry much weight though, not after Billie asked him in a, particularly cute way to take her to one. She'd gone with another wizard, who Phillip knew was just a friend but that hadn't mattered either. The teenager had been rather upset about it, jealous even, but when she gave him that look and insisted she'd like to see one with him, Phillip let other emotions creep in. And he'd even started to look forward to it. He'd bought a newspaper, checked the local listings, and gotten some sickles exchanged for pounds at Gringotts ahead of time. Making all the plans and bringing her there was part of her request, and he was going to deliver.

Phillip knew she'd gone to see the Lord of the Rings with Killian, so he steered clear of that movie entirely, and chose something completely unrelated. He didn't want to hear things like "Oh Killian loved this part" or "Killian laughed when that happened". Nope he was good on all of those sorts of statements, not that he thought Billie was doing it on purpose, she was a good friend and she liked to share things about her friends (of which seemed to multiply this year?) but Phillip just wanted to hear her opinions. He wanted to know what made her laugh, what she liked about a movie, so he picked on about pirates instead of wizards. It was also a bit of escapism because they had magic and cursed objects in everyday life, but pirates were foreign and new.

Writing ahead of time Phillip let Billie know what time the movie started, and when he would be there to pick her up, and it all seemed very routine. They had spent pretty much every day together since they'd become "boyfriend and girlfriend" with the exception of the days she was with her other friends. Picking her up at Kendrick's in Craven was very common since he was old enough to do magic and apparate them anywhere they wanted. And yet something about today seemed a little different, like a planned and specific "Date" and strangely he felt nervous. Maybe it was a little bit of his inner ego creeping up too, wanting to make sure she had more fun going to see a movie with him than with the other wizard. Showing up at the steps in front of her house Phillip didn't knock on the door, just in case, Kendrick was home. It wasn't that he disliked her guardian, but Phillip didn't care to be pulled into any conversations except for the ones with Billie. Like he had been the seventeen-year-old waited outside for her to join him, having written he was heading over just before apparating. It was a little disrespectful to avoid Kendrick and wait for her outside, but she'd never asked him to stop, so he wasn't going to.

@Billie Fay

Billie finished tying her shoelaces and made her way to the front door. She assumed that he’d be waiting there when she opened it; he was always so fast. Leaving now, he’d write, and she’d see him appear out of the front windows literally a moment later. When he said now, he meant it. Billie was a little jealous; she wanted to be able to show up at his place whenever she wanted.

She would have been more than happy going to the Two Towers again; it was her favourite movie (the only one she’d seen, sure, but that was beside the point), but he’d suggested something about Pirates, so she’d been enthusiastic when he’d suggested it. There was a part of her that had become a little obsessed with the idea of “going to the movies”; she wanted to see everything, and then she wanted to see it all again. She wanted to share her Lord of the Rings experience with him, though, so Billie was going to insist he take her to it later, perhaps next week.

The blonde opened the door, and sure enough – he was there. Phillip didn’t really knock if he could help it, but she didn’t mind. They’d all sat through a couple of awkward-(though-slightly-less-awkward) dinners in the past couple of weeks, and Kendrick and Phillip had actually spoken to each other a couple of times. It always made her a little nervous, because she wanted them to see the best versions of each other, but it was getting a teeny bit better, and she was happy with that.

"Hello, you," she said, smiling as soon as their eyes met, her hands automatically smoothing out her dress, then touching the strap of her handbag to make sure she had everything. The blonde closed the door behind her, then moved over to greet her boyfriend the way she always did when they met here; she moved to the top stair and kissed him, her arms sliding over his shoulders, criss-crossed at her forearms behind his head.

"Hello," Phillip barely got out before he was gravitating toward her and wrapping his arms around her waist. The soft fabric of her dress against the palms of his hands he closed his eyes, but not before realizing she wasn't wearing a floor-length skirt today. He'd seen her in shorts last week, but the skirt that fell just above her knees made his heart skip a beat.

He enjoyed spending time with her, they always had great conversations and it was intellectually interesting, but there was something extra special about hellos and goodbyes lately and the teenager craved them more and more. It almost made saying goodnight worth it, especially when it usually took them at least an hour to do so. After a minute or two, he always lost track in these moments, Phillip took a step back and caught his breath. "You ready?" He asked even though he'd watched her check her bag before stepping out of the house. Still, he wanted to be sure before he zipped them miles away in the blink of an eye.

The teenager held his hand out toward her, waiting for her to reply and intertwine her fingers into his before he would apparate them to the theatre in London. It had occurred to him since they could go anywhere, that they could go to any theatre they wanted. It didn't have to be the one that was only blocks away from Diagon and William's apartment. He could have taken them across the world, to another country, another continent even! But then Billie would have to tell Kendrick the plans had changed, and he didn't want to be the cause of that.

Before they took off he smiled at her, "You look really pretty," Phillip said softly, the compliment rang true but the words sounded strange coming from him. He spent too much time complaining, cursing at things, and being negative in general for such words to come easily, but he saved them all for her.

She honestly felt lucky that she got to kiss him so often. “Yes,” She replied simply, pulling back from the kiss, sliding her hands reluctantly from his shoulders. Billie ran her fingertips over her handbag again to make doubly sure, but it was just an automatic thing. She smoothed the skirt of her dress, feeling a bit self conscious for no reason.

“Thank you Phillip,” Billie replied, a small smile appearing on her lips. She didn’t really think of herself as a “pretty” girl, but anything nice he said cut straight through any self esteem issues she did or didn’t have and made her want to swoon. Phillip didn’t say things like that very often, but every time he did, she made sure to memorise the moment.

She’d worn a little makeup today; just some blush and mascara. Sometimes she wore tinted lip balm, but she’d stopped wearing that recently because, well… the kissing always sort of ruined it. Billie was sure there were magical make-up solutions for this problem, but she wasn’t sure who to ask about it. The people she was closest to right now were Kendrick and Phillip, and a part of her suspected that neither of them would have the answers she needed.

The blonde gave his hand a squeeze and took a deep breath before they apparated.

In the blink of an eye, they went from Craven to Battersea and Phillip exhaled when his feet were firmly on the ground. He'd done his homework, finding a tiny pocket of wizarding shops tucked under the train tracks that allowed for incoming apparitions. He'd written ahead, making sure it was still in operation, so there wouldn't be any surprises when they got there. Phillip hated surprises, well at least when he was the one who had been in the dark. The wizard squeezed her hand again when they arrived, standing on a well worn wooden floor in the back of a bookstore that physically shouldn't have been allowed to exist. Magically squeezed between two muggle shop fronts on the street that housed the cinema they were headed to. Phillip tried not to breathe in through his nose, the usually comforting smell of old books being overrun by the smell of a packrat. Off to a great start, he mentally kicked himself for not checking the shop out first. The passed piles of old newspapers, stacks of dusty tomes, and more than one burnt cauldron on their way to the door.

He held it open for her, waiting for her to exit, and watching the muggles passing by barely even noticing them. One person nearly bumped into his shoulder, but the magic that warded the building must have acted as some sort of invisible repellent because he changed course just before. Barely even looking up from the buttons he was pressing on his metallic sliver thingie. Once they were on the street the scenery was much better, he could hear the sounds of the train above them, waves crashing against a pier that was within walking distance, and hanging lights illuminated the corridor. Phillip was quiet for a moment, taking the time to adjust to the new, and very muggle surroundings around them. Other than King's Cross, Phillip had spent very little time in the muggle world over the last five or so years. Partly because he had nowhere to go, and no one to go with, but mostly because it was less painful to avoid it altogether.

Phillip checked his watch, keeping track of how long they had until the movie started, and leaving time to buy tickets and snacks, and then reached for her hand. "It's just down this way," The teenager informed her, using his free hand to point out the marquee a few minute's walk from where they were. He was determined to make sure this movie night was far better than the one she'd spent with Killian (and not the other friend, who was supposed to be there but 'couldn't make it at the last minute'). He'd picked this cinema specifically, not just because it was close to a shop that allowed for the free apparition, but because it seemed fun. Big shiny lights, arcade games, tables outside they could sit at and talk about the movie after, and there was even a pier over the river Thames if she wanted to go for a walk later. Phillip wasn't a romantic, but he was jealous and obsessive over the details, so he put in the work, and he hoped it showed.

Out of habit, Billie held her breath a moment before they disappeared from Kendrick’s house. She exhaled in a quiet sigh as they reappeared in London. It was a little musty in the place they appeared, and she glanced around curiously, her eyes adjusting to the dimmer light. It seemed this place was frequented often enough that their arrival didn’t stir any dust underfoot, but the room was certainly a little dusty. Billie suppressed a sneeze.

She let him lead her out of the building, dabbing at the corners of her eyes with the ring finger of her free hand. He opened the door for her and she stepped outside, waiting to the side for him to follow.

Billie hadn’t spent much time in the muggle world, and it would have been obvious to any witch or wizard observing her right now. She moved closer to Phillip as he exited the bookstore, sliding her hand into his neatly so he could take the lead again. She wasn’t scared of muggles persay, but observing social etiquette was an important feature of the world she’d been brought up in, and being cast into a position where she was unsure of the social conventions made her anxious. She was scared of other people’s judgement, scared of doing something wrong.

“Oh,” Billie said softly, tilting her head a little to get a look at the sign overhead before they passed underneath it. She gave Phillip an excited smile and a light hand squeeze, leaning into him as someone hurried past them.

Phillip knew she had been to the movies with Killian, but other than that one instance, he wasn't sure how much time she had spent in the muggle world. While they hadn't talked about it explicitly, he always had sort of known she was very specifically Pureblooded. And that she had grown up in the magical world, devoid of muggle things, which was so different than the way he had been raised.

Being a half-blood meant Phillip had always had one foot in both worlds, they had lived in a muggle neighborhood, but there had always been magic inside the home. His mother, a muggle-born, made sure to introduce his sister and him to both ways of doing things. She'd said it kept them from being spoiled, and in a way, it had; Phillip appreciated magic more than some of his peers. He'd also been hurt by magic a lot more than most of them, too, though.

Returning the gentle squeeze she'd given his hand Phillip pulled her toward the wall of the building. Out of the way of people passing by, and turned to look at her. Keeping her hand in his, Phillip studied her expression. "How many times have you been out of the wizarding world?" He asked; there was no judgment or accusation in his words, only curiosity.

The flashing lights were both distracting and captivating. She felt a little like she had when they’d gone to that magical fair a few weeks ago. This was better though; it was a little less packed, and they had a clear goal in mind for where they were going. They were at the movies, she thought dreamily.

“Oh,” Billie glanced at him, her eyebrows raised a little, then glanced away as she considered his question. “Not many,” she said. Kendrick had taken her with him to a local flower market a couple of times, and that had been a muggle one, and then of course she’d spent a little time with Killian earlier this week. She could probably count the times she’d been in muggle London specifically on one hand. When she’d lived with her parents she hadn’t entered the muggle world at all; she hadn’t left their island after they’d moved here from Germany until after her father had died.

But she couldn’t really explain that part.

“I guess… When I lived with my aunt, she didn’t really go anywhere? And so I didn’t really go anywhere either. This is really the first summer I’ve had a social life,” she added with a small smile. Last year she’d seen him twice over the whole summer break; they’d written a lot, but hadn’t really seen each other. She’d only seen Barbara once last summer too, so that was only three social outings with her school friends the whole summer break. And none of them had been outside of the magical world.

"My aunt was more... traditional, I suppose?" Ethel hadn't been that traditional, especially not for someone over a hundred, but she had spent all of her time in the wizarding world. "And my parents, too," she added, though traditional didn't really cover it. “So yes, it’s all very new,” she admitted, glancing down at their interlaced fingers. Lots of new things this summer.

Phillip's half-smile pulled a little more when she confessed to this being the first summer she'd had a bit of social life. He could relate to that, having pushed away all prospective friends since his second year of Hogwarts. It was another reason he was so thankful to have found her. She'd helped him escape the darkness without even knowing it. And it was nice to have someone to talk to all the time, someone to share things with, even someone to go a muggle movie with, not that he planned on doing it often. Unless, of course, she wanted to, then he'd take her to every movie they made.

Traditional meant so much more than the light way she had put it. At least to Phillip. It was dead people dictating what their relatives could do and think. It was a ghostly form of peer pressure, and Phillip hated tradition. It meant Pureblooded and stuck in the wizarding world, but Phillip didn't push his negative thoughts on Billie; he never wanted to.

Instead, the tiniest flicker of worry passed over his face as they spoke, and he chewed on his cheek for a moment before responding. "A good kind of new, though, right?" The slightest bit of hesitation in his voice betrayed just how nervous he was today. They had been hanging out all summer; they had spent a ton of time together at Hogwarts before that, this was far from the first time they had been alone together, but there was something more to it. This was a planned date. Even Ireland, which had turned out to sort of be one, hadn't really been a date, and it made him anxious. "Because we can leave if you want?"

Had she just caught a look in his eye when she’d described her family as traditional? She supposed it would make sense; Phillip was not very fond of tradition, and she suspected he equated it somewhat with authority. Billie was herself quite a traditional girl, though. Not in the bad ways – she hoped. Her eyes still on their interlocked fingers, she turned that thought over in her mind.

“A good kind of new,” Billie affirmed with a small nod, looking up at him once more. “Oh,” she said, raising her eyebrows as he spoke again. “No.” She shook her head, “I really want to do this with you.” She meant it, too. Billie had loved going with Killian, but half of the time she’d been there, she’d been thinking of how she might explain her experience of the whole thing to her boyfriend. The with you part of her sentence was crux, really.

“Not unless… You don’t want to be here?” she guessed, touching his chest lightly with her other hand. Just then, an air hockey table nearby made a loud siren-y sound and Billie jumped, her eyes wide as she looked over her shoulder. Her cheeks were a little pink as she looked back, an embarrassed smile appearing on her face. “When’s the movie?” she asked.

Phillip's worry begun to fade when she reassured him it was a good kind of new, he needed to hear her say it, and it calmed his nerves. Everything after just made the half-smile on his permanent frown of a face grows, and by the end, he was nodding. With you, was the most meaningful part of the sentence to him because he had been worried about it. When she told him she'd gone to the movies with her friends, which ended up only being one specific friend, he wasn't sure how he felt about it, but he was glad she wanted to be here with him now. And even though he didn't care what they were doing, he was happy they were doing it together.

"No, that's not it," He began to say, but the sounds of the air hockey machine whirring to life near them cut off his words. He grimaced, sending a frown in the direction of the machine as if it had done it on propose, and then returned his green eyes to hers. "About twenty minutes," He felt dumb for getting them there so early, but the whole situation was far different than he remembered when he'd come to the movies with his family as a child. They had always had to wait in a line to get tickets, but Phillip had ordered them ahead of time, and then there were snacks and things to be considered. And he supposed, corralling two young children through the dark theatre was a time-consuming adventure in itself. He realized after the fact that Billie and himself didn't need as much extra time to prepare.

"Do you want to try playing?" He asked her, nodding toward the now vacant arcade game that had so rudely interrupted them. He wondered if she'd ever seen anything like it, or if she'd know how to play at all, but the idea of holding her close as he showed her how to aim the little puck sounded like a lot more fun than being on the opposite side of the table from her.

Twenty minutes. Billie nodded, touching his arm absentmindedly with her other hand. Funny how easy those little, affectionate touches were these days. They’d kissed for the first time exactly five weeks ago, and yet she felt like he’d been her boyfriend for years. It occurred to her now that Phillip had only met Kendrick five weeks ago too, and that felt wrong, somehow. It wasn’t as if the two spent too much time together, but Billie’s two most important people – her two worlds – were in contact with one another now. Five more weeks and they’d be back at school. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

Play? She raised her eyebrows, then looked over at the table, wondering exactly how one played this game. Billie had never been particularly skilled when it came to these sorts of competitive coordination challenges, but she was curious, and always willing to try. “Okay,” Billie said, smiling, “but you’ll have to tell me the rules,” she said, moving over to the table without letting go of his hand.

For a moment, he thought she might say no, but when she accepted, a small smile flickered onto his face. Phillip didn't normally do things like this, but as strange as it was when he was with Billie, he actually wanted to have fun. Or, more specifically, he wanted her to have fun even if it meant going to see the same movie over and over again or playing some dumb arcade game. "Well, there aren't really rules?" He began as she led them to the table. He could have gone to his end, to show her what to do, but of course, the teenager didn't.

He reached for one of the handles and the puck before pressing the button on the side, and the game whirred into life. Setting the puck down, he pulled her hand toward the table and held it over the tiny holes on the top. "It's forced air," He told her because the science of the thing was far more important and interesting to the wizard than actually playing the game. "Here, hold this," He said as he dropped the puck and handed her the handle. Placing his hand over hers, Phillip moved to stand behind her and lowered his head close to hers.

Whispering, he guided her hand toward the puck, "You just aim and shoot,"

“Oh, I see,” she responded, mildly impressed. The blonde placed her spare hand down on the table, feeling the cold little puffs of air against her palm. She moved the plastic hitting-thing with her other hand, feeling it slide against the small layer of air between the table and the plastic. “Quite clever,” she said, removing her hand and curling her fingers by her side.

Phillip moved in a little just then, though, and suddenly, all thoughts on the physics of it disappeared from her mind. “Mhmm,” she said, eyes on the puck, but her brain elsewhere. It was kind of stupid how blank her mind seemed to go when he was close like this; her neck had goosebumps where she could feel his breath, and she was very focussed on his hand on her own.

She jerked her hand forward, hitting the puck to the other side of the table. It quickly glanced off of the edge of the goal slot and immediately shot back at her, going straight into her own goal. “I’m guessing that’s not the objective,” she said lightly, smiling even though he was standing behind her.

Phillip loved the warmth that came from holding Billie this close. It was easier to get lost in her when they were touching; it kept the demons in his mind at bay, saved him from drowning in the constant pessimistic chatter of thoughts. She was like his lighthouse, protecting him against the raging waves and reefs. If he could, Phillip would never let her go. Smiling against her, Phillip watched as she began dragging the paddle up to where the pick was floating. It clicked off the handle and then shot across the table, rattling on the other side and zipping back, and his eyes struggled to keep up.

He heard the sound, though, the sinking sound followed by a ding as she scored a point on herself, and he chuckled. "Not exactly," He said softly and removing his hand from hers to grab the puck from the pocket. Dropping it back on the table, Phillip covered her hand with his again and whispered. "Try using less force this time," He offered, finding it amusing that Billie Fay would do anything by force. Quietly, the wizard waited for her to take another shot. And even though he was keeping track of the time, he felt like he could get lost in this moment.