Худые вести не лежат на месте (Zinaida)

This summer had been very different from all the previous summers. Stanislava had learned something about herself that her mother had kept a secret for all her life so far. The revelation that her father was still alive had come as a shock. Why had nobody ever told her this before? Why had her mother always claimed that he was dead when he really wasn't? Why would she do such a thing and why had her father never wanted to get to know her? Didn't he know about her at all? It didn't seem likely by the way how her mother had casually mentioned him. However, it all made no sense to the young witch and she was glad to be back at Durmstrang now.

While she clearly wanted to find answers to all her questions and wanted to find her father, she knew that it didn't do well to constantly think about it. It was good to have a distraction, to get her mind off these very confusing thoughts that were already giving her headaches. She was glad to be back at school, having Zoya close and also being able to talk to her other friends. Life immediately felt more normal again now that the term had started. She wanted to catch up with all of her school mates and was also looking forward to being the Klyk Vampira student librarian. It was an honour and a position that seemed to suit her very well, just as the role of the duelling captain seemed perfect for her best friend Zoya.

It was evening now, leaving Stanislava with time to socialise with her school mates. The girl hadn't had a chance to talk to her friend Zina yet despite the fact that it already was Wednesday and they had quite a few classes together. However, they both had been quite busy during the first days back at school that they just hadn't got the chance to catch up yet. Therefore, when she saw the other girl after dinner, she made a beeline for her.

"Zina!" she called her name, as she approached her friend. "Hey! How are you doing?" She asked, genuine concern reflected in her voice, as she pulled Zina into a brief hug. "You must tell me all about the European championships and about the open day at the artistic flying school. Are the rumours true? What happened to Aglaya Antonovna? You need to tell me everything!" The Klyk Vampira student looked at her friend from Drakonya Krov expectantly before realising that they were standing in the way for students who wanted to get out of the Grand Hall. "Do you have some time? Shall we sit down here or would you rather go outside?"


@Zinaida Shishkina

It was nice to return to Durmstrang for her fourth year. Zina found that she actually trained better alone at the school than when she was at the artistic flying school during the holidays. There wasn’t any pressure from her family or Aleksandra, she could train whenever she wanted to and focus on the things she wanted to. However, Zinaida had found it a struggle to get back into the swing of training after her disappointment at the Junior European Championships. Having Zhenya’s trophy to keep as motivation helped lessen the sting a little, and the enjoyment of training on open day and speaking to all the people, spending time with friends and family with less pressure was enough to put pep in her step again.

The rumours circulating around her family member and utter idol, Aglaya Tikhomirova, concerned her though. Her parents didn’t seem to know, neither did her brothers or her sister. The student desperately wanted to ask Nastya, but didn’t want to trouble or worry her, and Zina had a feeling that other people would be bombarding her anyway, so she didn’t send a letter. The naturally anxious young witch was worried beyond belief for Aglaya, she didn’t understand why anyone would poison her. She was so nice.

She was glad to have her friends, and Zhenya and Rusya, to talk to, and happy to have training and her school work to distract herself. Of course, the artistic flying club was particularly exciting for Zina; she couldn’t wait to have fun with her family and friends and practise at the same time! She also was eager to try her hand at coaching some of the beginners.

Zinaida rushed through dinner, having just a cold soup and a roll, and she was going to go back to the common room to do some schoolwork for an hour to give time for food to digest before going down to the Quidditch pitch to train. She was just leaving the hall when she heard her name being called. “Stasya!” She greeted her friend cheerfully, hugging the Klyk Vampira back, super tightly. The Drakonya Krov was about to lie and say she was fine, but Stasya bombarded her with all the very questions she didn’t want to hear.

“Uh… yeah.” Zina muttered, frowning a little.  “I’ll do my best to answer your questions...” She added, as she moved out of way for other students to pass them. “I have about an hour, let’s go outside though.” She smiled, looping her arm through Stasya’s, and heading off to lead the other witch down to the Quidditch Pitch. “The less others hear the better.”

The Quidditch Pitch felt like a natural destination for the artistic flyer, it was always where she went to. She began talking in a low voice on the way. “I’ll start with Europeans… makes sense to do it in a chronological order and I’ll get less mixed up.” She told Stasya, wondering how much she could skip over or just not mention. She didn’t want to bore her friend. Zina opened her mouth to say something and then closed it again. Perhaps starting with Europeans wasn’t the best idea, after all. She wasn’t really sure how to describe her failure.

“Um… well, Rodion and Zhenya did amazing!” Zina beamed, “but you probably saw that in the newspapers...” She flapped her free arm a bit, stammering to get the next sentence out. “I was winning after the technical exercise… and then I let nerves get the better of me. Again. And then I ended up in fourth.” Zinaida looked at Stasya for her reaction, hoping that Stasya wasn’t going to look at her with disappointment the way Aleksandra or her mum and dad did. “I fell twice, on a jump and a scorpion of all things. It was so silly.” Zina laughed, knowing the other alternative was to cry. “I had to put up with my mum and dad and Aleksandra praising Zhenya and Rodion for three days straight, it felt like.” She sighed, knowing that her siblings deserved the praise and she shouldn’t really be complaining about it. She just wished they told her that they were proud of her too. “I could tell they were disappointed in me, but not as much as I was of myself.”

While Stasya was going trough a trying time herself, she could tell that her friend was struggling from the very first few words she said. Truth be told, Stanislava was glad to get some distraction from her own problems. Besides she really was a fan of the sport of artistic flying and excited that there was a club for the sport now which she clearly wanted to join although she was very aware that she'd never even get half as good at the sport as her friend was now.

Zina wanted to go outside and that was absolutely fine with Stasya. She nodded as her friend said she didn't want others to hear what she was going to tell her. That was totally fine with her. Stasya was tempted to tell Zina that she'd keep it all to herself but she felt that wasn't even needed. Her friend clearly knew her well enough by now to know that anyway.

She nodded again when Zinaida said she'd tell her everything in a chronological order. It sounded like a sensible approach. While Stasya was patiently waiting for information, she noticed that her friend was apparently struggling to find the right words to start with. She could tell that this wasn't easy but that was not a new realisation. Whenever she had read the results of the European championships, she had assumed that her friend would be upset.

“Yeah, I saw the results,” Stasya said compassionately. “That must have been so disappointing. Knowing you could win and then struggling in the free program… I'm sure you'll do better next year though! I mean, I've seen you practising and you are amazing. Clearly it's only a matter of time until you will have your own collection of gold medals.” She offered a smile and had they not been walking now she'd have pulled her friend into another hug.

She knew exactly how it was when siblings, or in her case step siblings, got all the attention while she looked like an alien and an unwanted member of the family. Therefore, Stasya understood pretty well how Zina must have felt when her family had been celebrating her older siblings.

“You time will come,” she said, “and then everybody will be praising you.” Stasya really meant every word she said. She was quite in awe of Zina's talent and wished that she would have grown up in a family that had put her into this sport or any other activity for that matter at a young age instead of just treating her like an outcast.

She wanted to know about Aglaya Antonovna now but didn't dare to change the topic herself yet. If her friend wanted to keep talking about her experience from the European Junior Championships, Stanislava would listen and try her best to make the other girl feel better about herself.

Ah, so Stasya did read the papers, Zina thought. It was nice to know that her friend took an interest and took the time to follow the results but the Drakonya Krov almost wished that her friend hadn’t read it. “I… don’t even know what to say about it, really.” Zinaida said as her shoulders slumped down. “I wasn’t expecting to be first after the technical exercise at all, though!” Zina exclaimed, as she half-laughed whilst shaking her head a little. “It really freaked me out. I felt under so much pressure to prove that I deserved to be in first…” Zina turned her face away from Stasya, swallowing hard as she didn’t want to let her emotions to the surface again. “I guess all I proved is that I didn’t deserve it.” The artistic flyer smiled shyly and felt the heat rising in her cheeks as her friend so kindly complimented her flying. “Thank you though, Stasya. I guess I’ll just have to work even harder now.” That was what Aleksandra Viktorovna was always telling her. ‘Try harder, Zina. Be more persistent, Zina.’

Everyone kept telling her that she’d be successful eventually, that she’d be winning something eventually, but no one would tell her when. Zinaida was fed up of waiting for her chance at glory, she felt as if she’d been patient for long enough. Sometimes, the junior artistic flyer wondered if anyone actually meant it though, or whether they were just saying it to stop her complaining.

“I hope so,” Zina quietly replied after a few moments. They were almost to the pitch, and Zina began climbing the stairs up to the stands so that they could sit down properly. “I just want to make my family proud of me for once.” Zinaida’s face lit up and she raised her index finger, as she remembered her conversation the day after the free program. “Oh! Aglaya Antonovna said the same thing to me the day after my free program.” She smiled, as they sat down on the seats and she turned to face the pitch, glancing every so often at Stasya to see her reaction. “She was so kind to me about it. Gave me some really valuable advice about how to deal with the audience staring too.” Zina planted her hands in her lap as she began fidgeting a bit, feeling awkward talking about her relative with the situation she was currently in. “She told me I had a lot of potential too… I don’t think she has any idea how much that meant to me.”

Zina’s head lowered as she took a shaky breath, realising they were awfully close to the things that Stasya probably actually cared about. She wondered if her friend would be frustrated with her for not knowing much about Aglaya’s poisoning, or whether she’d think she was lying. After all, Zina realised how odd it might seem that she had been demonstrating during the open day and did not even know anything about it, but it was the truth. Nobody told her anything either, which seemed to be the case for the whole family.

“I thought the open day at the school went well… I got to watch Nastya and Aglaya Antonovna which was nice and…” She trailed off, tucking a few strands behind her ear as she looked hesitantly at Stasya. “And I got to demonstrate, and that was really fun. I think people who came enjoyed it. And everything was great… Until, well. You know.” Zina turned her head back to the pitch. “I didn’t even know until the next morning.”

Stasya thought that Zina could be really proud of herself for having won a competition part and didn't agree that she had proved that she didn't deserve this first place just because she hadn't managed to keep it up in the free program. However, the Klyk Vampira student had never been in any comparable situation. Her family deemed her unworthy and had not given her the chance to get into a sport or anything else that required a lot of practice. She had always wanted to play an instrument but her muggle family thought that it would just be a waste for her to take piano lessons or anything like that because she was a witch.

“I don't think that's true,” Stasya said quietly. “You won the technical exercise because you were the best then. That you were too nervous to keep it up in the free program doesn't mean that you proved you didn't deserve it.”

Stasya bit her lips as her friend spoke of wanting to make her family proud. She knew that whatever she did, she would never achieve this herself and Zina's family surely was already proud of her even if they might have been disappointed with her free program performance.

“I'm sure they were very proud of you for winning the technical exercise,” the girl responded, offering a slight smile. “I know I am proud of you, anyway. I mean, the field is so strong and looking at the results you were all so close in the end.”

They sat down and Zina mentioned Aglaya Antonovna. While Stasya had never seen much more than moving pictures of the star of the artistic flying scene, she did follow her career and eagerly checked the newspapers for news whenever she could get a hold of a magical newspaper anyway.

“Wow,” Stasya said, impressed by what her friend told her about a conversation she had had with the reigning European champion. “See, if she thinks you have the potential then it definitely is true. It's great that she gave you advice. She wouldn't take the time to do that for everyone, right?!” The Petersburgian tried to reassure Zina. Stasya thought it was the best compliment ever if a multiple-time champion told her friend that she had potential and even offered advice.

“Oh,” Stasya looked at the artistic flyer in disbelief, “you only heard about it the next morning? I somehow thought that it happened in the open, that there were witnesses... but I guess if there had been witnesses the papers would have been able to write more than just an initial rumour. However, it is really true then? That's so scary!”

Zina really appreciated having a friend who knew the rough details of her sport and everything that went on it, but wasn’t too informed or involved. It was easy to talk about her doubts, fears and grievances with her artistic flying career without the added baggage of being judged by her family members. “Oh…” Zina mumbled, clutching her arm and hugging it. “Thank you,” she added, “you’re so nice to me…” She still didn’t believe the compliment that Stasya gave her, but it still pleased her to hear the praise.

The junior artistic flyer shrugged her shoulders with an unconvincing smile as the Klyk Vampira witch suggested that her family were indeed proud of her. She was convinced that Stasya would not think so if she had heard Aleksandra Viktorovna’s yelled remarks about her overall performance, or had been present at the family dinner after the medal ceremony. It seemed like they had completely forgotten that she had been in the first place the previous day. She didn’t want to make her family look bad though, or say anything against them that would make them look like awful people without context.

However, her friend continued and said that she was proud of her. Zina’s face lit up and she blushed in response. Those words meant everything to Zinaida. “Awww, thank you!” She beamed, giggling slightly. “That really, really means a lot to me, Stasya!”

Zina fidgeted restlessly on the bench as Stasya did her best to reassure her, she felt very awkward talking about Aglaya, especially since she barely knew what was going on. “Heh, maybe.” Zina replied with a docile smile, and a duck of her head as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t know. I think she just felt sorry for me. But, I really needed to hear her advice that day.”

Zina wasn’t surprised that the fact she hadn’t known was unexpected to Stasya. She nodded along slowly to confirm what she’d previously said, still not looking at her friend. Zinaida shuddered as Stasya said she thought it occurred out in the open with people watching. It could have happened that way, and Zina’s eyes began prickling with hot tears as she thought about that. She had been wondering who had actually seen it, and who had raised the alarm. Whoever it had been, Zina wanted to shower them in love, hugs, blankets and every good thing. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how terrifying and traumatizing it would have been to actually see it.

“Yes, yes, it is true…” Zinaida sniffed, suddenly very interested in her hands on her lap. “It wasn’t out in the open, and I don’t know who saw it.” Zina’s mind drifted to the possibility that she didn’t even know if Aglaya was still alive, since she had heard nothing and no one could tell her anything. The junior artistic flyer upset herself with the train of thought, and she wanted to end the interrogation before it had even truly begun.

“I don’t know what happened,” she cried, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks. “I don’t who did it, or why, or how.” She wailed, muffled slightly with her hands hiding the stream of tears down her face. “I don’t even know if she’s okay. No one will tell me anything…” She removed her hands, and looked at Stasya through her blurry eyes as she sniffed loudly. “And… I’m so scared, Stasya!” Zina sobbed, bending forwards as she covered her mouth as she continued to let it all out.

Stasya was used to her friend doubting her skills and being generally not really confident at all. To some degree Stasya could relate to that, her family did not give her the feeling of being worthy either. It was a different situation though. She never had got the chance to excel at anything. Even if she did well in school nobody really cared.

She smiled as Zina said that her compliments meant a lot to her. Stasya really meant what she said anyway. She admired her friend a lot for what she could do on a broom. Most things she had seen Zina do, seemed like they weren't really possible to do at all. Standing on one leg, getting into the scorpion position and from there into the needle? That clearly was impressive and Zina could do it. Maybe she hadn't done it at this past competition but Stasya had seen her complete this challenging sequence more than once.

“I don't think she only talked to you because she felt sorry of you,” Stasya said, thinking that a champion like Aglaya Tikhomirova would hardly just talk to a younger athlete because she felt sorry for them. “Anyway, it's great she gave you advice. I cannot even imagine how it must be to be so incredibly successful and famous. It's a totally different life, I guess.” Stasya wondered how it would feel if she was good enough at anything to get people to cheer for her. It did seem like something that would never happen in her whole life.

“Wow,” Stasya said again, this time not because she was impressed but because she felt quite shocked. She chewed on her bottom lip as she tried to process the information that her friend gave her. As Zina began to cry, Stasya patted her back, feeling how her eyes, too, were watering and she did not even know Aglaya personally, had never even seen her on a broom unless one counted the moving pictures in newspapers and magazines.

“That's...” Stasya didn't really know what to say. Why would anyone try to kill the artistic flying champion? It did not seem to make sense. Stasya didn't believe that rivalry in the sport went as far and she clearly didn't see any reason why anyone would want to kill another person anyway.

Between sobs Zina said that she was scared and Stasya pulled her into a hug now, not knowing what to say. If Zinaida knew little about what had happened she knew next to nothing. She could hardly tell her friend that everything would be fine if she really couldn't tell if that was the truth. If the family kept things so secret maybe they were really that terrible. She swallowed and tried to find something nice to say.

“I can understand that,” Stasya said, her voice a little hoarse now. “It must be awful to be left in the dark when it concerns a relative… I hope you'll get good news soon. Maybe it's not all that bad, after all… I mean, maybe the media is just exaggerating?” she added hopefully but not believing a word she said herself.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Zina shrugged bashfully, flattered by Stasya’s confidence in her. Stasya didn’t even really know Aglaya, not like she did anyway, but it still meant a lot to hear. “Yeah…” Zina muttered, not really placing much conviction in what she said as she wondered what it was really like to be so well known. It would, of course, be wonderful to have everyone know her and like her, but on the hand it would be so terrifying at the same time. Zina was vaguely aware that it was what she was striving towards as a champion whether she wanted that part of a champion’s life or not. It would be a completely different life to the one she currently had. Of course, true fans of the sport recognised her, she had strangers know about her and approach her at competitions, but it just wasn’t on the same scale. And, if being so famous in the sport got Aglaya poisoned, then Zina wasn’t sure she actually wanted that.  She was conflicted, wondering if there was a way to be champion but still be left alone. “I’m... not sure I’d like it very much.” Zinaida finally added, with a weak smile.

As she cried, the artistic flyer was instantly comforted by Stasya patting her back, and Zina responded by leaning into the touch, grateful to finally let all her emotions out and just talk to someone about it. It was ironic that she had been dreading anyone bringing up the Junior Europeans or Aglaya’s poisoning and then having to talk about it, when it turned out that it was what she had needed the whole time.

“That’s…”  “Horrible?” Zina wailed, finishing Stasya’s sentence for her, as she continued to sob. “I know.” Zina still hid her face, using her index fingers to try and wipe the tears as they kept rapidly flowing down her face. Part of her wondered if she’d even feel up to practicing after this, as she felt so drained already and her eyes were stinging from the tears. 

Stasya pulled her into a hug, and Zinaida let it happen, wrapping her arms around Stasya and clinging onto her friend like a lifeline, squeezing tightly. She tried to stop the sobs, her body jerking every so often. She just couldn’t help it, Zina was so worried; about her family, and for Aglaya, whether she would survive or not, whether she was actually okay or not, or if she was even alive. And, Zina briefly thought, if she felt this way, then she couldn’t even imagine how Aglaya’s own parents and sister felt. It was awful, she was desperate for any good news.

A watery smile appeared for a brief moment, as Zina found herself glad that Stasya understood that she wasn’t being silly. But how could she be? This was serious stuff. After a while, Zina pulled away from the hug and placed her hands in her lap. “Thank you, truly.” Zina was still weeping a little, and she wiped her eyes and sniffed. Her eyes felt all red and puffy and her nose, though she couldn’t see it, was surely a similar colour to match. The younger of the Shishkina sisters felt that she couldn’t let Zhenya see her in this state, she didn’t want her older sister to worry. She hoped that Zhenya wouldn’t come out to the pitch.

Could the media be exaggerating? Well, it was possible, she suppossed. It had happened before, or at least, Father had warned of this before. “Maybe,” Zina squeaked, still hopeful that what Stasya said was true. “I guess when they aren’t being given a story, they can twist the details they do know to fit their narrative. Father said something like that before.” She stated, having calmed down enough to not have a wobbly voice. She looked out wistfully at the pitch, checking no one was nearby still. “I just wish they’d tell the family something. No one seems to know anything.” Zinaida sighed, glancing at Stasya. “I mean, I guess I understand why they’re keeping it so quiet. But… I can’t help but wonder…” Zina felt her eyes welling up again, and she blinked rapidly to get rid of them, hugging herself now.

“If none of us know anything, does that mean that even Aglaya Antonovna's own sister doesn’t know anything, or their parents? Someone must know something, but everyone is acting like they have no clue. It makes me feel like… I don’t know who to trust in my own family?” Zina had silent tears running uncontrollably down her face now. She felt like no teenager should have to go through this, artistic flyer or not. This wasn’t fair. “Like, someone is lying, and I don’t know who. Am I the only one in the family who doesn’t know?”

"Hmm," Stasya said, imagining herself as a celebrity. The girl agreed with what Zina said - she didn't think she'd like it very much either. It seemed pretty intimidating to have strangers recognise you. Stasya thought that she'd feel as though these people knew something she didn't know. It was a bit like being an animal in the zoo, being exhibited for others to look at and to admire. The Klyk Vampira student wanted more recognition than she currently got, but that would go too far, she thought. She wondered what advantages it had to be famous - there had to be some. However, right now, and in the context of the conversation she was just having with her friend, she felt that there were a whole lot more disadvantages. 

"I guess it's part of being a successful artistic flyer," she mused. "You cannot be a multiple-time champion without becoming famous... What do you think? You have so many champions in your family. Are they all so well known?"

While Stasya hadn't expected the conversation to be a fun and relaxed one, she found it quite challenging to deal with her crying friend. She wanted to say the right things, wanted to comfort her by patting her back and hugging her but she felt rather helpless anyway. Of course, the girl had known that Zina wouldn't be in a good or at least neutral mood but this was a little more than she had signed up for anyway.

Stasya nodded as Zina said that it was horrible simply because it really was and there was not a lot to add to that. She tried to think of something to cheer her up but how could she? She knew nothing about the whole thing. Of course, it could be that things were not quite as terrible as they seemed to Zina now but they could be really bad as well. Stasya stared down at the pitch, wrecking her brain for something nice and comforting to say.

Although the Klyk Vampira student felt like she was failing at cheering the young artistic flyer up, Zina pulled away from the hug and thanked her. Stasya opted for a slight smile in return. "You're welcome. I'm always here if you need to talk," she said quietly and she really meant it but at the same time she hoped that any future encounter with Zina would be at least a little less difficult and sad.

"See," Stasya said, relieved that Zina was not dismissing the idea of the media presenting a story that was worse than the truth. "It might not be quite so bad. I really hope it isn't." She opted for a comforting smile now. Zina was about to burst into tears again as she stated that she couldn't help but wonder and Stasya did need her to finish the sentence to have an idea what her friend wondered about. She rubbed Zina's back gently while she tried to find something to say. However, in the meantime Zina continued speaking and the way the topic changed finally brought it closer to the things Stasya had her own experience with - secrecy in the family.

"Well," she said, her voice changing from the soft and comforting tone to a harder and slightly bitter one. "If it's any consolation, I don't know who to trust in my own family either... in fact, I think there's no one to trust." She took a deep breath. She didn't really want to bring this topic up now. It was much better to focus on Zina. "I don't think you're the only one who isn't informed," she added, sounding more comforting again. "What do you siblings say about it anyway? And your cousins? I suppose none of them knows more than you do or if they did they'd probably inform you."

Stasya paused briefly as another thought came to her mind. "Maybe they want to protect you," she mused. "I mean, if the press approaches you it's probably easier to say that you do not know anything than to hold information back." That would make a little sense at least. However, why her own family was keeping things secret that even directly concerned her was something that the young witch could not explain.

Zinaida looked out at the pitch as Stasya said it was a part of being successful as an artistic flyer. Zina wanted to be champion more than anything, but now she was more and more convinced that perhaps it was better to be the silver or bronze medallist to avoid all that attention. Briefly, her mind drifted to think of her own sister, the current junior European champion. At least juniors weren’t given as much prestige or coverage as the senior competitions, but Zina couldn’t help but worry about what could happen to Zhenya once she became senior. Of course, Aglaya and her own younger sister would likely still beat Zhenya, but it was still a horrible thought in the back of her mind.

“I don’t know…” Zinaida eventually muttered in reply, “I’ve grown up with all these important figures of the sport, to me they are just family. And, anyone involved in artistic flying would know who any of us are, including me and even Rusya.” The junior athlete paused, facing Stasya again with a small half-hearted smile. “I’m not really sure what the perspective is like for just a fan, but I guess some champions are more well-known than others. People seem to know Aglaya Antonovna and Anatoliy Vsevolodovich more than say… my aunt or Ana- I mean- Nastya.” Zina had always found it odd to not call Nastya ‘Anastasiya Antonovna’ which is what she used to do. Zinaida thought it was polite, and showed her distant cousin the respect that the talented athlete deserved. However, Nastya had been strangely insistent that she should only use the diminutive of her name. She had even heard the senior athlete tell the young children who were just beginning at the school, who weren’t even family, to call her ‘just Nastya’.

Zina took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down enough that if any of her family came along (which was always a strong possibility) that nothing seemed amiss. She didn’t want to practice in such a sour mood anyway, and she tried to focus on the small, positive things; like that she had a good friend beside her, that the breeze was pleasant and cooling on her cheeks, that there were still little birds out there chirping merrily away. If she was upset, she would make careless mistakes and that would be especially more dangerous at Durmstrang than compared to at the school where she’d have her coach and the extra safety measures in place. It wouldn't do to make such a terrible situation worse.

“Thanks, Stasya.” Zina smiled as her friend said she was there to talk. She didn’t want to unload all her problems on Stanislava though. Perhaps, it would be better to talk to her elder brother about all this instead.

“Me too,” Zinaida sighed, clasping her hands in her lap as Stasya comfortingly rubbed her back. She wanted to believe that the media was just exaggerating but it was difficult to convince herself of this when she was being kept in the dark. Rodya and Rusya knew nothing and even Zhenya claimed she didn’t know anything, Zina didn’t see the point in sending an owl to her grandmother or her parents to ask either.

Stasya’s tone changed and Zina looked up to gaze at her friend with a raised eyebrow. “Oh?” The junior artistic flyer offered, “What do you mean?” Zina asked, wondering if, perhaps, Stasya was in need of a friend to talk to as well. “I guess so…” She shifted around in her seat, leaning forward to check if anyone was on the pitch yet, and settling back when the coast was still clear. “My brothers don’t know anything either, not that I’d expect Rusya to know anything really. I certainly wouldn’t tell him such serious things.” Zina shrugged, with a small smile tugging at her lips. She loved her youngest sibling more than life itself, but she would certainly never entrust him with such a secret unless she explicitly wanted the whole world to know said secret.

“Zhenya says she doesn’t know anything either but… I don’t know. The way she says it…” Zina trailed off, feeling like she was accusing her sister of being deceitful. “I think she knows more than she claims she does. But, I guess she has good reason to. I’m not going to ask her about it if she doesn’t want to tell me.” Zhenya normally told her everything, or so Zina thought, she wouldn’t hide something unless she had to. Zina trusted her sister had a reason, if indeed she did know something more than the rest. “As for my cousins, they know nothing either. I had thought about sending a letter to Nastya but I didn’t think that would be good. She must be dealing with a lot right now.”

Stasya suggested perhaps they wanted to protect the family by keeping it all hushed up, and this was a reason that Zina was happy to accept. Perhaps it would be easier to cope with that thought in mind, that her family was doing it not for malicious reasons but rather for their protection. “I hadn’t really thought of it that way before, at least not properly. That is definitely true though.” Zina smiled brightly, wiping away the remainder of her tears. “Thanks. That makes me feel a lot better!” She said, as she half-hugged her friend again. She felt that perhaps, she would be in a good enough mood to train properly after all.

Stasya nodded and thought that Zina was probably right. Her entire family seemed to be well known in the artistic flying scene and even kids that hadn't participated in any competitions of consequence yet were known by the hardcore fans and the media. It had to be strange to grow up in the spotlight like that and she wondered if Zina was aware of it so much.

“I suppose it has to be tough to be part of such a successful and well known family sometimes,” Stasya offered with a sad smile. At least Zinaida was a part of a family and not an outcast. She wondered what was easier, being a part of a family that was in the spotlight where she had to live up to high expectations or being a the unwanted child in a family that seemingly had nothing whatsoever in common with her.

“Well, I know Aglaya Antonovna from articles and such,” Stasya mused now. She hadn't had to ever attend an artistic flying event herself so she basically took her information from the journals and papers that she could get a hold of and since her family did not approve of magical media at all she only really ever managed to catch up with the articles when she was at Durmstrang. Here she could also rely on Zina to tell her about the events, of course. She had been a little bolder this summer though, ordering a newspaper home but in general she had a rough time following the sport properly. “I must admit I read other names in the publicised results but…” the girl shrugged. “I guess it's still quite an achievement that she is so widely known.”

“Let me know when you hear something, yes?” Stasya said in response to Zina stating that she, too, hoped that things weren't so bad. It was funny how strongly she felt for Zina's family members even though she had never even seen them from afar.

“Nothing,” Stasya was quick to respond offering a rather forced smile onto her face. “It's not…” She sighed. “Really, it's not that important.” She didn't want to tell her friend about her situation, about the things she had found out; not now, anyway. This wasn't the right time or place and she felt she'd have to check with Zoya first, too. It was her life, her problem, her secret, but she felt, since Zoya was willing to help her, she owed her to tell her first if she intended to share her secret with another friend.

“Yeah, your little brother surely is too young to be kept informed by the adults,” Stasya agreed. The way Zina spoke about her sister made the student librarian wonder if maybe her friend's elder sister was hiding something indeed. “Hmm,” the girl said, frowning slightly. “I think you should ask Zhenya, though. I mean, it would not fair if she kept information from you. I mean, you're worried, you need to know if there's anything to know.” She patted her friend's back again awkwardly and looked down the pitch.

“Yeah, I guess writing Anastasiya Antonovna might be a little...” Stasya couldn't find the right word here. Saying 'inappropriate' seemed too strong but no other word seemed to be coming to her mind right that moment so she just trailed off, assuming that Zina might understand her anyway.

Stasya was glad that her attempt at finding something comforting to say had been successful and that Zina was accepting the idea of her older family members protecting her by not giving her any information. She smiled back at her friend, happy to see that she had stopped crying and gladly hugged her back. “I hope you'll have some clarity soon anyway,” she offered, “and that the news you'll get is actually good news so you can focus on school and stop worrying.”

Zina stared off into the distance as her friend suggested it must be difficult to be part of such a well-known family. She wondered if that was actually true, whether being part of the family that had made artistic flying into the international sport it was today was a curse and not a blessing. It was difficult to make a decision without having a reference of what it was like on the other side. Zinaida had no idea what her family appeared to be like, what even she appeared to be like, in the eyes of other athletes at the artistic flying school, the eyes of fans, the eyes of the media. “Maybe…” Zina replied thoughtfully, brushing a stray strand of hair away from her face. “But it has advantages too, I guess. Then again, I wouldn’t really know if it is harder or easier than having a normal family. It’s all I’ve ever known.” Zina said sadly, as she glanced at Stasya. Not for the first time, Zinaida wondered what it would be like if she had had a normal childhood, one that wasn’t filled with training for artistic flying from the moment she could crawl.

Zina smiled at her friend as she said that she knew Aglaya Antonovna from articles. She knew that Stasya couldn’t come to the competitions or follow the results more closely, and the junior athlete appreciated that Stanislava still tried to follow competition results anyway. It was nice that her friend took an interest in the sport that had dictated her entire life. She nodded as Stasya added that it was an achievement that most people knew who the current senior European and World champion was even if they only vaguely knew about artistic flying. Her friend was right, of course. There had been several champions over the years, but none quite like Aglaya. “Yes… it is. Perhaps this wouldn’t have happened if not for…” Zinaida paused, tucking some more loose strands of hair behind her ear, feeling that her inner thoughts should remain just thoughts for the time being. Especially until she knew more information beyond just rumours. “Well, it does no good to dwell on it, I guess.”

“Of course I will!” Zina smiled as Stasya asked her to keep her up to date. “Other than my family, you’ll be the first I tell.” It was really nice to have someone beyond her actual siblings and cousins who she could go to and talk about all this with. Zina had never appreciated having Stasya as a friend so much in her life.

“Oh… Are you sure?” Zina asked in concern, looking at her friend questioningly. The junior artistic flyer had a feeling that there was more to it than Stasya wanted to tell her, and Zina respected the boundary she had put up, even if it was mildly worrying. “I’m always here if you need to talk.” Zinaida offered gently, before turning her attention back onto the pitch.

“Yeah, there’s no way I’d trust Rusya to keep a secret,” Zina laughed, shaking her head slightly. She gave a half-hearted smile as Stasya suggested that she should ask her older sister. “I guess…” She shrugged with no conviction in her words to suggest that she was going to dare try asking her sister. “But if it was important, I know she would tell me.” Zina smiled weakly, wondering if her faith in Zhenya was actually misplaced or not.

“Mm-hmm.” Zina hummed in agreement with Stasya that writing Nastya wouldn’t be a good idea. She was glad that her friend seemed to think it was the right decision too. “I’m sure she must be too terribly busy to write letters anyway.” The junior athlete sighed, wondering if her distant cousin was alright. She had always liked Nastya, she was warm and encouraging, and she hated the idea of her suffering because of what happened to her elder sister. Zina knew that she’d be going crazy if that had happened to Zhenya.

Zinaida looked down at the pitch again, and in the distance could see someone with a broom heading down. She couldn’t yet tell who it was, but she was eager to claim her spot first. “Thank you, Stasya.” Zina offered with a sweet smile. “Let’s hope the good news comes quickly, so that I can tell you all about it.” She added, as she stood up and brushed out her clothes.
“Looks like I need to claim my side of the pitch soon,” Zina half-laughed as she gestured to the person below. “I’ll have to go and get ready now, unfortunately. You’re… welcome to stay and watch if you have time.” Zinaida offered, with a small smile. “Of course, I’m sure you must be busy too.” The athlete added, hoping that she wouldn’t make Stasya feel guilty if she had to go.

“I’ll see you later, and thanks again!” Zina called out behind her as she rushed down the steps of the stands and towards the changing room so that she could try and beat the other person to her favourite section of the Quidditch pitch.

[out]

“Yeah,” Stasya said thoughtfully. “I guess we cannot really say what our lives would be like if we grew up in a different family. There’s no way to find out either…” The Klyk Vampira student shook her head, unwilling to let her thoughts trail off to the point where she imagined a different life. She had been there before. In fact, she had even thought about how it would be to be a member of the artistic flying family. However, that thought was not quite so appealing anymore now.

“Mhmm, I guess,” Stasya said, nodding as Zina said it did no good to dwell on how things could have been different. There was no way back now. She briefly wondered if things could have been prevented. If, maybe, a timeturner could have helped to change the course of events and what that would have meant for the future. However, as her friend had already said, it did no good to dwell on things and this was merely hypothetical anyway and nothing she could change.

Grateful that Zina promised to keep her up to date, Stasya smiled at her friend. “Thanks, I appreciate it,” she said and wondered if Zina, too, saw this as a win-win situation. After all, she wanted to hear the news and her friend looked as though she needed to talk about it to someone anyway.

“Thanks,” she said again as the junior artistic flyer said she’d be there if Stasya wanted to talk. “But yes, I’m sure. I do not want to talk. Not now anyway.” She offered a slight smile and then chewed on her lower lip, thinking about how difficult life could be no matter if one was a member of a famous family or not. There seemed to be complications for everyone.

“I’m sure she would,” Stasya said, more to comfort Zina than because she actually believed that her friend’s elder sister would indeed confide in her if she knew any news. Stanislava didn’t really know Zhenya well enough to allow her to judge the older girl. Besides it was no good to make Zina believe that her sister was not trusting her. She had enough to deal with already as it was.

While Stasya was still contemplating how it ought to be for Aglaya Antonovna’s younger sister to be confronted with lots of questions Zina already got to her feet. “You’re welcome,” she automatically responded to the other girl’s thanks. “I really hope you’ll get good news soon,” she added with a smile.

She admired that Zina was determined to train again so soon after an emotional struggle and wondered if she’d be able to clear her mind so quickly herself had she been in this situation. “I’d love to watch,” she admitted, “but I’m afraid I’ll have to go to the library.” She shrugged apologetically and got to her feet now too. “I hope you have a good training,” she called after Zina as the other girl already rushed down the steps of the stands.

[end]