[Rybinsk] выхода нет (Nastya)

1st October 2020

Today was another tough day. Truth be told, for over a month every day had been tough. Ever since the open day at the artistic flying school things had gone downhill and Alyona felt like she had aged a decade since then. She wanted to give her daughters, herself and the rest of the family some rest, some time to recover from the poisoning, the fact that there was a dangerous stalker trying to kill Aglaya but time did not stand still for them. Decisions had to be made and had been made actually. Alyona was both glad and disgusted that she had been asked to join Andrey, Aleksandra and some other members of the Tikhomirov family to discuss future events. They had started to plan the annual Christmas gala and Alyona had struggled to keep cool and level headed throughout the meeting. They had been discussing her daughters who had gone through more than enough over the past weeks. Was it really necessary to plan who'd be on the posters for the Christmas gala? Was it already the time to work on a schedule for the event? It was. Truth be told they usually started planning right after the open day was done.

She'd been chosen to break the news to her daughters. It was probably for the best and yet, Alyona really didn't want to do it. It wasn't right to stress either of the girls more. For a start she had asked Nastya to come to her office when she'd finish her training for the day, claiming that she just wanted to have a proper chat after weeks when they had barely really spoken. The last weeks had really been a challenge for all of them and Alyona felt guilty that she hadn't found the time to check if her youngest child was doing okay. She felt guilty that she had just supplied a dreamless sleep potion and otherwise barely spoken to Nastya who clearly was struggling. The girl didn't look particularly healthy. She clearly didn't eat regularly and it was clear that she was not doing well emotionally. However, she was training, she did function and Alyona only had limited energy herself. She was more irritable, more emotional than usual and she felt that Aglaya still needed more attention after the poisoning than her younger sister.

Nevertheless she knew it was necessary to talk to Nastya. She needed to check if her youngest child would even be able to live up to the plan that had been made. Alyona knew that the conversation wouldn't be easy, but she wasn't entirely sure in which direction it would go. The decision hadn't been easy either and it hurt Alyona to announce it, knowing that at least one of her daughters would hate it and feel betrayed.

However, no matter how much it hurt, life went on. They had to move on and do what was best for the family and for the artistic flying school. The healer sat behind her desk, hiding her face in her hands now, feeling quite certain that Nastya would either just leave and not talk to her again or yell at her. She knew it would seem heartless to tell her about the family's plans but what else could she do? It was not her idea. In fact, had it been Alyona's decision she'd have cancelled the Christmas gala this year. However, that was apparently not even an option.

She tried to comfort herself that she did not have to start with this topic. A bitter laugh escaped her as she thought about the alternative topics they could cover - Nastya's current mental condition, Aglaya's current state, the stalker and his threatening letter... There weren't really any topics out there that had more appeal than the Christmas gala.

The witch summoned a carafe of water with lemon slices in it and two glasses, pouring herself a glass and having a sip of the cool beverage before checking the time. Nastya's training should be over by now. She'd likely take a shower before coming to her office so maybe she still had five minutes or so left. Alyona pulled out a small mirror and checked her reflection, the circles around her eyes were dark, her eyes looked empty, hopeless and she thought there were new wrinkles developing and not those charming laughter lines but rather ones that made her look haggard and stressed. She put the mirror away, thinking that it made no sense to apply makeup to make herself look better anyway.

Then the door opened and she tried to smile at her youngest daughter. "Nastenka, come in," she said, not getting up from her chair. They didn't usually exchange any affectionate gestures, there was no need to start with that now. Besides it would probably just make Nastya suspicious anyway. "Sit down," she said, gesturing at a comfortable chair on the other side of her desk. "Would you like some water? Did training go well today?"

@Nastya Tikhomirova

Anastasiya no longer knew what day it was, or even what month it was. All the days had turned into one long blur since she’d last seen Aglayka at the school, she woke up and trained for the day, returned home, had a dreamless sleep potion given to her by Alyona, woke up and started the process all over again. It was rather cathartic for Nastya, as long as she had no time to think about all that happened, then everything was completely fine. It was the moments where she had to stop and take a break, the quick cups of coffee, the miserable attempt of eating an orange, the quick showers at the end of the training day, that were the hardest to get through for the younger Tikhomirova sister. As soon as her mind got a second to itself, it started going on overdrive and bombarding her with all sorts of horrible and wild thoughts. Ever since she had spoken to Zhenya, she’d tried desperately to be as detached as possible, even more so after she was forced to deal with Aglayka’s splinching injury by herself. She was, for the most part, succeeding, but bottling up such an event was taking a toll on her that she was either completely unaware of, or choosing to ignore.

The training day was supposed to be just like any other, but a singular event had made it stand out and made Nastya uneasy for the entire day. Her mother had asked her to come to her office after she had finished training to have a chat. Nastya wondered what it could possibly be about, her first thought instantly being that she was in some kind of trouble. Perhaps, Andrey had told her about her little lunch break visit to Zhenya and Alyona didn’t approve? Or perhaps, her mother had found out all the details behind Aglayka’s splinching incident? The latter seemed unlikely, Nastya reasoned. But she couldn’t help but panic a little. Had she done something else wrong? Above all, Anastasiya was praying that her mother hadn’t asked to see her to talk about the awful situation or talk about her feelings. Nastya wasn’t sure why she even entertained that as a possibility though, since her mother often seemed devoid of any feelings and didn’t even seem to notice that this had affected her as well, and not just Aglayka.

The end of the training day was already approaching, the day had passed by in a blur, and Nastya couldn’t even remember what she had done beyond an hour or two prior. Though, since the poisoning, Nastya had gone back to her junior career method of drilling her elements, even bringing out her old ‘consistency’ journal to write her success rates down. If she really needed to find out, she could always look in the journal. She finished her lesson with Andrey Viktorovich working on spins, and after he called out his signature “Enough, Nastya.” Anastasiya dismounted her broom, not even glancing in her coach’s direction, shouldered it and headed straight down to the changing room, placing her broom in her locker as she passed by.

She headed straight into the showers, trying to wash as quickly as possible so that her mind didn’t run astray, before stepping back out and not even bothering to change into casual clothes, going straight into a fresh, dull silver catsuit again. Only her hair gave away the fact she had showered, as she pulled it back into a low ponytail that dripped down her back. It was too much effort to use a drying spell. She pulled on her trainers, and left the changing room, straining to not look in the mirror as she passed it. This was probably for the best, as she would have only seen the fact that the catsuit which once fit like a glove, was now a little baggy in some areas, not to mention her more sallow cheeks. 

Nastya made one quick stop-off on her way to her mother’s office however, and that was to the cafeteria. Her hand reached out and hovered over the basket of fruit as she tried to make a decision. Eventually, she picked up a green apple and hurried along the rest of the corridor to her mother’s office. As she reached the door, though, the former champion hesitated. She hoped her mother wasn’t going to yell at her, or express her disappointment in her. Nastya was trying her hardest to make her mother proud, especially in such a horrible situation for them all.

She let a deep breath out and confidently opened the door, shutting it gently behind her as her mother greeted her. “Hey Mama,” Nastya greeted her with the warmest smile that she could produce, though she felt some butterflies in her stomach start to creep in as she sat down like Alyona told her to. Nastya smiled gratefully as her mother offered her some water and she turned the apple in her hand around once before making it visible to her mother. “Yes please,” Nastya confirmed, as she brought the apple near her lips. “Do you mind?” She quickly asked, hoping her mother would be happy to see her eating. It was at least a good way of proving that she definitely was still eating like a normal non-stressed human being (even if she wasn’t).

“It was fine,” Nastya blurted out as Alyona asked how her training went. She wasn’t really sure what else to say about it considering she only really remembered the last part of the session. “Worked a lot on some spins,” she added, telling her the only detail she actually knew about clearly. “Actually,” Anastasiya said, before she could stop herself, “I have something I wanted to ask you…” It had been… well, Nastya didn’t know how long exactly it had been, but it had certainly been a few weeks at the very least since the open day when Aglayka had first inserted the idea into her mind. Nastya had been itching to ask Aglayka more about the possibility of having Veronika as her coach, but the right opportunity was clearly not going to present itself any time soon. And, as Zhenya had encouraged her to just go for it, Nastya figured that this was as good a time as any, if Alyona genuinely intended to have such a relaxed chat. “It’s about my coaching situation.”

Alyona tried to keep a neutral but kind expression as Nastya came in and took a seat. It was scary to see how she had changed over the past weeks. The healer could tell that her youngest child was trying her very best to function, to train just like normal but there was no ‘normal’ anymore for their family. Nastya looked unhealthily thin, her cheeks sallow and overall it was apparent that the girl wasn’t in a good state. Alyona wondered what she could have done to prevent her daughter from suffering like this. She felt that it had been a good idea to try and mostly keep her away from her elder sister but maybe that had just made things worse? She couldn't really tell. It was not like she had any experience dealing with situations like the one the family was facing right now.

It was clear, though, that she had to help her youngest child in some way. It was more than a little disconcerting to know that both her children were suffering and seeing them in such a state clearly did not make Alyona feel any better either. As a healer, dealing with the physical aspects was something that Alyona was familiar with. She was struggling with Aglaya's poisoning but other than that she could usually help her daughters with injuries and illnesses. The psychological aspect though was a lot more complicated though. How could she support her girls when she was struggling herself? And how were they supposed to cope with the current situation? Someone had tried to kill Aglaya. This was nothing one could so easily forget, especially not when they were still facing the consequences of the poisoning every day. They were all generally good at suppressing their feelings, bottling them up so nobody would know how they really felt, but now they had all reached a point where this didn't seem possible or even advisable any longer.

As Nastya confirmed that she wanted water, Alyona poured some into the spare glass and put it down on Nastya's side of the desk. "Here you are," she said, offering a slight smile. It was good to see that her daughter intended to eat something but, given her current looks, an apple was hardly enough. "I don't mind at all," she said anyway, hoping that she'd get a chance to talk her youngest child into having something more nutritious than that at a later point. She could totally relate to not having an appetite for anything though. After all, Alyona had to force herself to eat as well. However, maybe she could invite Nastya to have lunch with her the next day.

She nodded as Nastya spoke of her training, grateful that this part of her daughter's life seemed to be okay at least. It came as a surprise to her that Nastya wanted to ask her something and Alyona straightened up a little, looking at her child with nervous anticipation. She expected that it had something to do with Aglaya, her treatment, or the stalker, and she was totally caught by surprise by the topic that Nastya brought up. "Your coaching situation?" Alyona asked in a calm voice, taking a sip of water as she looked at Nastya curiously. She took it as a positive sign that Nastya was talking about artistic flying instead of about the horrible situation with her sister and felt grateful for that, at least for an instant.

"Well," she added after the briefest moment of hesitation, offering an encouraging smile. "What would you like to talk about? Are you not happy being coached by Andrey anymore? Has anything happened in training that you are not happy with?" Despite the fact that she had been glad to hear that Nastya had actually her own topics that had nothing to do with Aglaya only seconds ago, Alyona now felt somewhat strange. Life went on, of course, and it had to. She reminded herself that it was a relief that Anastasiya was focusing on her career. In fact, it was excellent news that Nastya wanted to speak about the sport. After all, she was supposed to be featured as the star of the Christmas gala, a topic Alyona still had to address with her daughter. Maybe this chat would actually go much better than expected. Clearly the hardest bit was to break the news to Aglaya, but that could wait for another while for sure.

Nastya was still a little nervous, and wondering why she had been asked to come in the first place. She couldn’t help but feel like Alyona had some hidden agenda, but at the same time… She hadn’t been yelled at yet, her mother wasn’t giving her a disapproving look, and surprisingly things were going well. Maybe, just maybe, her mother really did just want to chat. With this epiphany, Nastya slouched in the chair slightly and began to relax a little.

“Thanks”, Nastya said as she grabbed the glass of water and curled her hand around it, appreciating the sense of coolness that flowed through her fingertips. The other hand moved up to bridge the gap between her lips and the apple, and Anastasiya bit down into it with eagerness, not even waiting for her mother to finish giving her permission before she took a huge chunk. She felt so empty, and the senior athlete hoped this would fill her up enough and revitalise her after a long day of training. Once she finished chewing, she took a big gulp of the water as if she hadn’t had any all day. For all Nastya knew, that could have very well been true, as the day had passed by in a weird blank blur.

“Mmhmm…” Nastya confirmed, as Alyona echoed what she had said, though the sound was very muffled as she took another large bite of the apple, somehow feeling it was necessary to eat the apple as quickly as possible or else it wouldn’t be there anymore. It was now that Nastya began to worry what her mother was going to make of her proposition. Was she somehow going to be offended? Would her choice not be approved? Nastya believed and hoped that she was doing the right thing. She needed this for the sake of her career. Nastya thought she needed to speak up for once.

As her Mama asked her some probative questions, Nastya sat and listened to them all, chomping on the apple the entire time, already over half way through the fruit. “It’s not that I’m not happy being coached by Andrey Viktorovich, we clearly work well together. Nothing has happened in training…” Nastya suddenly trailed off as she realised that that was kind of the problem. Nothing had happened. It was always the same training routine, the same elements day in and day out and Nastya felt like there was no longer any progress. She still had no free program for the season, her artistic expression had been deficient since day one, and without a backflip or the new split jump that she wanted to create, Anastasiya knew that there had been no major technical improvement either. Time had stood still for her while everyone around her was getting better.

“Actually, that is my point.” Nastya finally added. “I’ve made no major breakthroughs, no improvements.” Perhaps this was harsh, but Nastya believed this to be the truth. But there was, in her eyes, a solution and she refused to fall behind if there was something she could do about it. “Without riskier elements, my technical score has been stagnant for years. My artistic expression is either non-existent or ‘demented’...” Nastya used air quotes as she brought up the article about her samba free program a few years prior, Nastya had never forgotten those words, and she was sure her mother hadn’t either. “I just think I need a second opinion on it, a different perspective for the free program.” Nastya finished as she chomped on the last bit of her apple, and wiped her mouth of the excess juice from where she had so eagerly devoured it. She took the time to pause and take another big gulp of the water.

“I’m not suggesting I leave Andrey Viktorovich, but that I add another coach to my team. I want to be coached by Veronika too.” Nastya paused again, hoping that she was giving enough time for the information to sink in. “It wasn’t actually fully my idea… Aglayka gave me the inspiration for it first on the… on the…” open day. The words got stuck in her throat and she felt like she was choking on them. Nastya diverted her eyes away from her mother, suddenly finding the desk an easier focal point as she took a deep breath. “And… Zhenya said that she thought Veronika would be very interested and open to the idea of working with me...” Anastasiya took another big sip of the water. “I know my weakness, and I can’t rely on my technical element consistency as a crutch forever. How can I ever win if I don’t ever feel the music like…” Aglayechka. Nastya coughed, feeling like that particular diminutive of her sister’s name was now somehow impossible to say, the way that horrid person had written it made it feel like poison on her own tongue. Her eyes lowered from the table to the floor, as she hugged her arms. She didn’t want her mother to see that she was bothered or thinking about it.

Alyona listened as her daughter told her her thoughts on the coaching change, patiently waiting until she'd make her point before even attempting to respond. It felt quite reassuring to have a normal conversation and a small smile spread across Alyona's face. Truth be told, the woman appreciated having this conversation and was ready to accept whatever Nastya would suggest just because it was so nicely relaxing to have a different and less straining topic to discuss for once. These were the problems they should be dealing with, not poisonings, attempted murder, threatening letters and whatever else Aglaya's stalker was up to.

She could see how maybe, after so many years of working with Andrey, Nastya needed a change. It made sense. Besides, Andrey was her grandfather and surely that did not make things easier either. Alyona now wondered how much her father in law actually knew about what had happened on the open day and in the following weeks. She hadn't really talked to him a lot about the poisoning, the letter and all of that. As far as she knew he hadn't visited Aglaya either. So his only source of information was Nastya who, as far as Alyona could tell, hadn't told him a lot either. Somehow the woman almost envied him that he likely did not have any details. It had to be nice to be oblivious to all the horrible facts and just continue life more or less as usual.

Alyona shook her head as Nastya said she hadn't made major improvements. "You know that is not true," she said sternly. "Maybe your improvements aren't as visible as the progress some other athletes make but that's just because you have been competing at a very high level for many years now. Your consistency is amazing and you have a high technical content that nobody can match these days." She felt a lump in her throat and swallowed. While Alyona had looked at Nastya for most of her response she had averted her gaze towards the middle of her last sentence. There was only one athlete who was competing at a similar technical level as Nastya and that was Aglaya who, if she got through her performance flawlessly, would usually win every free program over her younger sister. Now, however, it wasn't even clear if her elder daughter would ever compete again. Alyona couldn't yet tell if she'd be well enough both physically and mentally and that was disconcerting to say the least. It was a relief to know, though, that Nastya was still working hard and bound to earn gold medals in the future.

"Don't quote this unworthy journalist's phrasing," Alyona reprimanded her daughter. "You should never take anything negative written in the press to heart. I thought we've spoken about this often enough. However, I agree, there's room for improvement in your artistic expression," she admitted, offering a smile that she hoped looked comforting. "And yes, maybe Andrey isn't the right one to help you with that." In fact, Alyona had brought up the topic with Andrey, Aleksandra, and Anton in the past. Something had to be done to improve Anastasiya's C-mark but Andrey seemed pretty much lost for any ideas how to achieve that.

"I'm glad you do not want to leave Andrey completely," she told her daughter. She didn't want to imagine the drama that would unfold itself if Nastya decided to part with her grandfather as a coach. Surely this wouldn't be well received - neither by Andrey himself, nor by Anton and possibly not by Aleksandra either. She remembered very well how it had been when Aglaya had changed coaches. It had created a rather unpleasant atmosphere for a while and that although Aglaya had not burned her bridges behind her and handled it respectfully. Alyona had not really supported her daughter's decision back then, feeling rather obliged to be on Andrey's rather than on Aglaya's side .

It came as a bit of a surprise that Nastya wanted to choose Veronika as a coach though. Alyona had almost feared that her daughter would want to pick Aleksandra, thinking that Aglaya might be out of the picture now. As it was, Alyona was actually rather proud of her youngest child. She was just about to tell Nastya so as her daughter went on telling her how she had come to this decision. Alyona hoped that her facial expression remained emotionless as Nastya told her about when she had got the idea. She could only guess what Nastya wanted to say as she did not actually seem to be able to voice the words. She quickly lifted her glass to her lips again, taking a sip of water and trying to stay at least outwardly calm. When Nastya wasn't able to say her sister's name either, the older witch closed her eyes for a second before looking at her daughter, a compassionate but also slightly pained expression on her face. A sigh escaped her and she got to her feet, she walked around the desk and behind Nastya's chair, putting her hands on the girl's shoulders and massaging them softly. "I know," she muttered, not making clear what she meant, but thinking that Nastya would probably understand it anyway.

It was much easier to pull herself together and offer comfort when she didn't have to look into her daughter's face and so she kept her hands on her shoulders and closed her eyes as she went on. "I think it's a very mature decision that you've made there," she said, her voice surprisingly calm. "I'm proud of you that you are looking for ways to improve. Just make sure to address it with Andrey before going to Veronika. Explain it to him and he'll surely respect your decision. Veronika, I'm sure, will be delighted to have you in her team." She took a deep breath and looked down at her daughter. There were so many things that she knew she should address but she wasn't quite sure where and how to start.

A small smile on her mother’s face formed as she introduced the topic, and Nastya was cautiously encouraged by this, having a feeling that maybe broaching the subject wouldn’t be as bad as she thought.

She was surprised that her mother defended her so strongly on her own criticism of herself, Anastasiya thought Alyona would have agreed. Nastya disagreed with what Alyona was saying, but if her mother thought she had improved, then it must have been true. Her mother wasn’t the type to give compliments out like sweets. She was glad for the glass of water that she could hide her face behind, as she took a sip as her mother seemed to infer that she was the top artistic flyer for technical content. Her mother had said no one could match her, but that wasn’t true at all. Aglaya was better, and she knew that her mother knew that. Was Alyona already writing her sister off? Would she never get a chance to properly beat her sister? Could she only ever win because Aglaya wasn’t there? Anastasiya didn’t accept that, she couldn’t accept that. A scowl soon appeared on her face. Besides, there were other athletes in the junior section rising up rapidly, and Nastya thought she’d be a fool not to recognise that. Now more than ever, she couldn’t afford to be complacent.

“Perhaps not now, but I cannot be so recklessly complacent or arrogant about my technical content with such talented juniors rising their way up.” Nastya started crisply, her hand gripping onto the glass more tightly as she was still somewhat offended by her mother’s response. “Besides, my sister surpasses me still.” She added aggressively, making it clear that she still viewed Aglayka as a rival and would not allow any argument on this. Her mother could think what she wanted in her own time, but not when she was talking to her.

Nastya laughed softly as her mother reprimanded her for quoting the journalist. She had been told off for this before, back when the article first came out. She rarely took criticisms to heart, but that one particular sentence had haunted her for quite a few months. Of course, it wasn’t something that hurt her feelings now, but she liked to remember it as motivation to improve her performances. She was, at the very least, pleased that her mother agreed that some improvement in her C-mark was needed. Desperately, in Nastya’s opinion. “I’m quite reconciled with that article by now, mother,” she soothed, a small smile tugging at her lips, “I just think it demonstrates my lack of performance skills quite well. Andrey is great for technical work, I owe my consistency to him, but we’ve tried several times to address my C-mark and all have ended in failure.” She stated, taking another sip of the water, now over half-way through the glass.

She smiled slightly as Alyona expressed that she was glad that she didn’t want to leave Andrey completely. Nastya thought doing this would be needless, and create a lot of animosity that was not necessary. Andrey had been a huge part of her life, and she was a loyal witch by nature. She loved her grandfather and would never do that to him. “I’d never want to. I enjoy working with him.” Nastya confirmed with a smile.

Anastasiya soon found herself sitting there staring at the floor, the apple that she had eaten so quickly suddenly not sitting so well in her stomach, feeling slightly nauseous and uncomfortable. Vaguely, she saw her mother move around her but didn’t flinch as her mother put her hands onto her shoulders. She lowered her head even more, as her mother gently massaged them. Nastya sucked in a sharp and noisy breath, the physical comfort that she had so desperately needed was threatening to tear down all her walls that she had so expertly built up since she last broke down into tears with Zhenya. She wasn’t going to cry, she would not. Despite her thoughts trying to stop it happening, her eyes welled up as her mother gently murmured to her, and Nastya instantly understood what her mother meant. She blinked rapidly to get rid of the threatening tears, focusing on the fact that her mother was massaging more bones than muscle which was slightly painful. Pain was not sadness, and that was good.

Her mother’s calm voice always managed to bring her back in the present, and Nastya let a deep breath out, with a little smile to herself as her mother called it a mature decision. She remained silent, not feeling confident enough for her voice to not shake yet, though she nodded her acknowledgement. She was genuinely surprised to hear her mother say she was proud of her. It really touched the younger of the two Tikhomirova sisters, Anastasiya tried so hard to please her mother, and it meant the world to know she was actually successful sometimes. “Really?” She blurted out, her voice small and high, as she reached up a hand to lay on top of Alyona’s. She nodded as Alyona mentioned that she needed to address it with Andrey, Nastya knew this and was going to do exactly as her mother said, of course. But, she was afraid of telling him, worried what his reaction would be. “You… don’t think he’ll be angry, then?” Nastya asked, in a timid squeak, feeling uncharacteristically self-conscious and not confident when it came to implementing her decision. “Will you… come with me tomorrow when I tell him?” She pleaded, tipping her head back on the chair to look at her mother properly.

She was pleased that her mother had given her approval. The worst part was over. Of course, she had to actually talk to Veronika, but was the easy bit. “So… you’re okay with it?” Nastya asked to clarify, with a bright smile on her face. This was quite possibly the best news that she could have received at that moment in time. “I really am looking forward to working with her. I think I’ll love her choreography for the free program… when I decide what to do for it, of course.” She softly laughed, smiling enthusiastically at her mother and, other than the vague nausea, her mood instantly lifted.

A weak, somewhat sad smile spread across Alyona's face as her daughter told her that there were junior athletes rising up and that Aglaya could still beat her. She took another sip from her water, trying to force herself to stay calm, emotionless. She didn't really want to argue about this. However, the healer felt that she had to respond in some way at least.

"The junior athletes cannot beat you," she began calmly. "They don't have your consistency and precision and I doubt any of them will get to that point. I admit that it's no reason to slack, of course. However, you do not need more technical content. What might help you, though, is to combine your elements in a different way, work on difficult sequences, transitions..." her voice trailed off. She was no coach, after all. However, Alyona had followed the sport for decades now and she knew how it was judged. What the woman clearly did not want now was that her youngest child risked her health trying any dangerous elements. She could fix broken bones, but she did not want to see Nastya in pain. They all were already suffering enough as it was.

It was a relief that Nastya said that she was reconciled with the article she had just quoted and she smiled a little as her daughter said so. The things she said about her C-mark were quite true and Alyona could not deny that. However, she really felt that new sequences and better transitions might not only improve her technical marks more but would also help with the C-mark.

“I'm glad you say so,” Alyona said, “I know he enjoys working with you, too. He's quite proud of you, you know that, don't you?” The older family members often talked about the active athletes and everybody praised Nastya's precision and consistency. It was quite admirable that the younger one of the two sisters seemed to never have a bad day in competition. With Aglaya, on the other hand, one never knew the outcome of a performance. If she had a good day, her free programs were seemingly unbeatable but on occasion she made mistakes that had cost her the first place.

“He won't be angry,” Alyona said calmly, smiling down at her daughter. She wasn't entirely sure if her father in law's feelings wouldn't be hurt by Nastya's decision but she'd make it a point to prepare him for the conversation first. Clearly her youngest daughter was not in a state to deal with unnecessary drama. She was confident that, if Andrey had any hard feelings, she could convince him not to let Anastasiya see any of it. It was sort of her every day business to act behind the scenes, trying to anticipate problems within the family and solve them before they were really out there. 

“If you'd like that,” Alyona said, sounding only slightly surprised. “I can come with you. What about…” she pretended to make it sound like a sudden idea that came to her mind, “lunch at the café across the street? There we can talk properly in a casual atmosphere. I'm sure Andrey appreciates it.”

Nastya looked at her, asking once again if she was okay with her decision and Alyona wondered where this insecurity came from. Aglaya had never asked for her approval when she made decisions and Nastya was an adult now, why did she need this confirmation?

“Of course I am,” Alyona confirmed with a nod. “I'm sure Veronika won't disappoint you and will create a great program for you.” With her eldest daughter likely in no state to be competitive any time soon, Alyona had felt quite certain that Nastya would be the next top senior athlete. Now that she had her hands on her daughter's shoulders, however, she was worried that her youngest child might not be able to live up to this role. She could feel and see that Nastya had lost quite some weight and it seemed that she was not eating properly. This was not the right time to address this topic but she made a mental note to observe her daughter closely and find out if she was right to worry.

“There's something I need to talk to you about, too,” Alyona said casually, now moving to the chair next to Nastya's instead of back to her place behind the desk. She had considered various different ways to approach the topic but none had really felt quite right. She knew Nastya's explosive temper and knew that her youngest child was quite unpredictable, especially since Aglaya's poisoning and the consequential stress she was experiencing.

“It's about the annual Christmas gala. I know it feels quite wrong to talk about it now...” she exhaled loudly and averted her gaze briefly. It wasn't easy to address this and Alyona wished that they could have just cancelled the gala altogether. Usually she liked the event, did everything to ensure that it would be amazingly great but now she just saw obstacles.

“Aleksandra and Andrey approached me to talk about it and we...” it felt hard to say 'we' when Alyona wasn't entirely behind this plan herself, “we've come to a decision. We need to respect that Aglaya's recovery is taking rather long and we do not want to put her under pressure to try anything before she's ready…” her voice trailed off, she knew that Aglaya would rather be put under pressure than be spared like this, but the family had already made this decision now. There was no way back. If there was one argument in favour of it then it was clearly that the stalker might turn up at the event. They'd surely have more security there then but they didn't know who he was and, as long as he did not actually do anything, he could still be there and watch Aglaya. The mere thought of him ever looking at her daughter again made Alyona shudder and she felt unable to get to the point right away. It was probably best to see her younger daughter's reaction to this first bit before continuing anyway.

Nastya was very confused as to why her mother seemed reluctant to admit that there were talented athletes beside her own daughters. It made no sense for her to be so soft on her, Nastya had always felt like she had had to fight and work so hard to get an ounce of attention from her, and always felt like whatever she accomplished was never good enough for Alyona. Why was it different now? Nastya knew her consistency was something few possessed, but as her mother said, there was no reason to slack off just because of the off chance that the athletes didn’t perform their best in competition. Alyona brought up her technical content and Nastya raised an eyebrow cooly as she took another sip of water. She had to hide a tired smile behind her glass, as her mother seemed to completely disagree with Andrey. So, her mother said she did not need more technical content. Andrey, however, seemed to be unable to get it out of his head that she needed to master Aglayka’s back flip to stay relevant as a top artistic flyer. Anastasiya wondered if she should mention that to her mother, but figured that it would create unnecessary drama and would no doubt come back to bite her.

“That is… true, I suppose.” Nastya muttered with a ghost of a smile. She felt that her mother’s constructive criticism was actually nicer to have than her blind confidence. “Difficult sequences?” Nastya echoed, as her eyes lit up at the opportunity to tell her mother about her plan for developing something new. Andrey seemed more focused on the back flip, but maybe her mother and eventually Veronika would be more enthusiastic about its potential. “I’ve been working on the beam for a new… well, I guess it technically isn’t a sequence by itself, but it could easily work at the end of my current split sequence.” Nastya introduced the topic with a smile, eager to be talking about it properly to someone. “It’s a sort of a... split switch?” Anastasiya paused, not really sure what to call it. The thought had crossed her mind if maybe the new jump would be named after her if she was the first to do it in competition. That would be really something. She could be immortalised in history, just like her elder sister. “You know, a normal split jump but I have to jump high enough to give myself enough air time to rotate half a turn and switch legs in the middle.” Nastya smiles again, extremely proud of the idea. “Of course, I haven’t actually managed to land properly yet… but I know I will eventually.” She nodded optimistically, convinced that this was true and finding herself enjoying the conversation again.

Nastya took another sip of her water and almost choked as Alyona stated that her coach was proud of her. She coughed a few times, putting the glass down on the desk, as she gently patted her chest and adding a sheepish smile. If Andrey Viktorovich was proud of her, then that was very much news to her. It would be nice if he said it to her face, but Nastya preferred his short, sharp method sometimes. He didn’t say much, often telling her if something was wrong with just a look, and his happy face could often look exactly the same as his disappointed face, though by now she had learnt the difference. “Oh…” She finally responded, looking down into her glass. “That’s really nice to hear. Thanks.”

Anastasiya sighed in relief, happy to hear the confirmation that her grandfather would not be angry with her for wanting advice from another coach. She didn’t think anything would have been more awkward in training if that was going to be the case. She had worked with him while he had been angry at her before and it was nothing pleasant. Some days his attitude towards her, to the point where he had walked away from her in a lesson, had sometimes made her wonder if all the training was worth it. Some days she had even wanted to quit. If she could avoid such drama then she was very pleased. “Good…” Nastya smiled in relief.

She was half-expecting her mother to refuse her request, to tell her that she was an adult and that this was her own problem, so it surprised her when her mother agreed and even suggested a place. She was glad she didn’t have to announce such a decision alone, thinking that Alyona could fill in the gaps for her if she found herself unable to say the words. However, what her mother suggested, Nastya didn’t like the sound of at all. The last time she had actually sat down for lunch with someone else, it had been with Zhenya, and she had completely broken down and cried and cried and probably scared the living daylights out of her distant cousin. At least, when she remained with Aglayka for the day after she had splinched herself, she had been able to make her sister something and then go back to sleep or pretend she’d already eaten her food. With her mother, such deception would be impossible. Alyona had a way of seeing straight through her, which was incredibly irritating in such a situation. The apple that already made her feel slightly uncomfortable now really wanted to exit her stomach, as if her digestive system was confirming that such a suggestion was a bad idea.

“Lunch…?” Nastya quietly and shakily muttered, as she shook her head. “Talk… and eat with all those people around?” Nastya lowered her eyes to the floor, determined not to make eye contact. “I don’t think so. Can’t we talk about it here at the school instead?” She tried to rack her brains to find somewhere else they could talk in the school other than the cafeteria. Nastya just really didn’t want food to be part of the equation, especially since her stomach clearly didn’t want any. The senior artistic flyer had a feeling that the healer would not appreciate that though. She began to worry as she couldn’t think of anywhere, and hoped that her mother would pick a different place as she took another sip of her water.

It was actually going to happen. Veronika was going to be her second coach. Nastya’s smile was bright as Alyona confirmed her approval. Anastasiya felt that despite everything happening in her family at that moment, this was going to be a new chapter for her and finally an improvement that she and her family could be proud of would be made. “Thank you.” Nastya replied warmly. “Thank you so much.”

Her mother moved from behind her to the chair beside her, and Nastya glanced at Alyona suspiciously as she did so, before letting her eyes fall on her glass of water. She knew that her mother had an ulterior motive for wanting to talk. She just knew it. Nastya took a deep breath in and sighed as her mother said it was about the annual christmas gala. Was it really that time to talk about it already? Why was it even still taking place? After everything that had happened, how on Earth could it be considered safe to do such a thing? “Oh… So soon?” Nastya questioned, appreciating that at least her mother even seemed to think it was not appropriate for such an event to be discussed while her sister was still suffering.

It didn’t surprise Nastya to hear that her grandfather and Aleksandra were behind such a discussion. She didn’t blame them, not really anyway, as far as she knew neither had been given too many details about Aglaya, she certainly hadn’t said anything about it. The younger of the two daughters raised an eyebrow as her mother said they had come to a decision. A decision about what? It must have been important, Nastya reasoned, from the way Alyona seemed to be walking on eggshells, as if she was worried about how she would react. This agitated her before her mother even got a chance to continue and Nastya shifted in her seat, fidgeting with the seam of her catsuit.

She tensed up as soon as her elder sister was mentioned, but became frustrated and huffed loudly as it appeared that her mother was not finishing her thought. What did Alyona mean? Was she trying to say that they didn’t want her sister to be part of the show? Were they going to force her sister to retire before she’d even tried training properly? From the splinching incident several days prior, Nastya was convinced more than ever that Aglayka would not want to retire, which of course pleased her very much. Nastya couldn’t help but wonder if there was going to be a ‘but’ in Alyona’s seemingly unfinished sentence though. Were they going to force Aglaya to be the star of the show anyway? Was Nastya going to be forced to make way for her sister and pushed aside for an athlete who couldn’t even walk to and from the school without getting tired? Was she just some kind of joke to Aleksandra and Andrey?

“Spit it out, mother.” Nastya sighed as she tensely stared at Alyona, running the edge of her tongue along her teeth. “I’m sensing a ‘but’ here… is there a ‘but?” Nastya asked, picking up her glass and taking a quick sip, and keeping the glass in her hand despite the fact that she had almost depleted the glass of water entirely. “Please just tell me... and get it over with.”

"That sounds like a good element," Alyona said, a slight smile spreading across her face. She liked that her youngest daughter was actually trying to create her own original element, thinking that it was better for both girls and the sport if Nastya did not try to copy Aglaya. She had her own style and it was only sensible that she'd have her own elements as well. "I hope you can develop it some more. Once you've mastered it, I'd love to see it. I hope you'll call me then." Alyona added. "You should tell Veronika about it, too. Maybe you can get it ready for the start of the competitive season and implement it into your new programs." The healer clearly hoped that this would work out and that Nastya would be in a perfect shape once the serious competitions started.

Nastya's surprise that Andrey was proud of her astonished Alyona. Of course she was aware that Andrey did not show his feelings, did not show any affection but was professional through and through. Nonetheless he was Nastya's grandfather and had coached her for so long now. Naturally he was proud of her. The Tikhomirovs weren't known to show their feelings but they could usually rely on each other. Maybe the relationship of the family members seemed a little cool and entirely professional to outsiders but at least Alyona could speak for herself and say that she sincerely loved her family and would always try to do what was best for them.

"There are not many people at that place around lunch time," Alyona said in response to Nastya's reaction to her suggestion. She could tell that her daughter did not like the idea of having lunch and it worried her. Apparently her suspicion was correct and Nastya was not eating properly. It was disconcerting and could become quite a problem. For the time being she might be able to still function, but Alyona was quite aware that this would not last forever. With Aglaya already in a doubtful state, she really didn't need her second daughter to ruin herself. She was still so young, such an amazing athlete. She would not allow her child to throw away her chances of a bright future in the sport. However, Alyona was more than aware that this was a sensitive topic and she had to be very careful how to handle it as she really didn't need Nastya to distance herself and make it even harder for her to approach her. Therefore, the healer decided to pretend as though she did not see the actual problem here but simply stuck with what she had already suggested.

"If you want me to join this conversation with Andrey, we'll do it my way or not at all. I'm only free around lunchtime and I need to grab a snack then. End of discussion," she said sternly, entirely unwilling to let Nastya have her way. "It's your choice. You can also talk to him alone if you prefer that. I can just hope that you'll be diplomatic about it then." She did not need to wait for Nastya's reaction to know that her daughter did not like this at all. However, she did not care. She didn't want to discuss this any further and had no time for it either. If Nastya wanted to act like a petulant child then she'd have to deal with Andrey on her own. Alyona wouldn't have any of it.

The Christmas gala was what she needed to talk about now and Alyona almost felt guilty for being unable to change her plan now. She had a feeling that, given the conversation so far, the topic would not be an easy one at all. "Yes," she said, nodding slightly, "we usually start with the preparations immediately after the..." she hesitated and took a deep breath, unwilling to let her emotions get into the way of this now, "after the open day. We've delayed the preparations already. It's about time now. There's a lot to organise, after all."

She could see that Nastya grew tense and Alyona was unsure how to continue. She needed to make sure that Nastya would play along. Aleksandra and Andrey had made quite clear what they expected and it was her doubtful pleasure to put their plan into action. She hoped that she'd be able to sell the idea to Nastya in a way that her youngest daughter would even help her break the news to Aglaya, but as it was she was already going to be happy if Nastya did not storm off once she announced the plan.

"No," Alyona said quietly. "There's not exactly a 'but' as you're calling it. I had to tell Aleksandra and Andrey that Aglayka won't resume her training anytime soon." her voice became a little brittle and Alyona paused briefly, trying to calm herself. "I am not sure when she'll be ready to start training properly again and if she'll even want to return at all after all that has happened. I think we should be fair and give Aglayka time to get better and not rush her to make any kind of decision. I doubt that she'll be back to normal by Christmas but I certainly do hope that she'll be training again by then. I just don't think she'll be ready to perform in front of a crowd yet." Again Alyona felt unable to continue right away. She took a deep breath and tried to keep her voice even and her expression neutral.

"For all we know he could turn up at the gala and we wouldn't know it. We've talked about additional security. I've been... well, that's not important now," she had been close to telling her daughter about the interviews she had been holding with potential bodyguards for Aglaya but she figured that they'd trail off too far if she shared that information with Nastya now. "I do not want Aglayka to get into that show prematurely and potentially be forced to perform in front of this horrible person." She actually struggled to imagine that her eldest daughter would ever be performing again if this person wasn't caught, but that was hardly a fear she needed to share with Nastya now. Alyona was quite aware that it was Aglaya's decision to make and if her daughter chose to perform again then she could not hold her back even if she disliked the idea of Aglaya's stalker being out there, watching her and coming up with more horrible plans.

"Aglayka's absence naturally means that a different athlete, different athletes need to be the stars of the show," Alyona said, trying to smile at Nastya. This was a lot harder than she had thought it would be. She tried to continue as quickly as possible so that Nastya didn't get a proper chance to say anything yet. "Andrey immediately suggested you. It was a longer discussion, though, and Anatoliy was mentioned too. He has had a very good season and the media loves him. In the end, we agreed that the two of you should be featured. We'll have photos being taken of both of you next week so we can print the posters and programmes." Alyona swallowed. "Aleksandra also wondered if maybe you could perform a program together. She said it might be a nice idea for the gala..." Alyona's voice trailed off. She wasn't convinced by this idea but hoped that if Anastasiya took offence from any of what she had said it would be the last bit. She could clearly still talk Aleksandra out of that. The most important bit was that Nastya accepted to be the star of the show together with Anatoliy and that she'd pose for photos so they could get everything printed for the gala.

Nastya smiled as her mother encouraged her on the development of her own new element, extremely pleased that Alyona was taking an interest. “I will!” Nastya replied cheerfully as her mother added that she hoped to see it for herself. “Other than my coaches,” she paused, smiling to herself as she liked the way it sounded, “I will make sure you’re the first to see it!” Alyona seemed to expect it to be ready for the beginning of the season, and expected it to be put in her programs and Nastya enjoyed the sort of deadline that her mother had inadvertently imposed on her. It was going to be the perfect motivator to not let the healer down. “I will. I’m determined to have it ready by then,” Nastya added, now having this new goal in her sights.

Her mother immediately seemed to try and shut down her protests, claiming that there wouldn’t be many people at the place across from the school. Nastya didn’t know how to retort, as she knew this to be true, and she bit her lip as she avoided eye contact with Alyona. Anastasiya didn’t know how to fight against having lunch with her mother (and a healer to boot!) and her coach there. She was trapped. If she continued to fight against it, Alyona would surely notice something was up, but if she went then she’d have to eat with them. If she didn’t eat, and just sat there like she wanted to, that would be suspicious to them both.

Alyona was stern now, and Nastya felt like she was a young child again being reprimanded. There was no point in arguing with her mother now, it would certainly not end well for her. Nastya found herself looking down at the ground, as she hugged her arm. She felt that she was imposing on her mother’s time now, that Alyona didn’t think of her as important enough to be anything beyond another time-slot in her busy schedule. “No…” Nastya whined, “I don’t want to do it alone.” She shifted in her seat, bringing her legs up to her chest and securing her new position by wrapping her arms around her knees. “I’m sorry. I’ll… have lunch with you.” Nastya reluctantly added, feeling like she was going to regret saying such a thing the next day.

The change in topic had originally been welcome, but Nastya felt so tense now that anything Alyona said Nastya’s heightened emotions would snowball out of proportion. Why were they even talking about such a ridiculous little show in light of what had happened? The senior artistic flyer thought it was ridiculous that she was being made to listen to this nonsense, and that her mother was being forced to be the messenger of it. “Oh…” Nastya belatedly responded, barely being aware of how much effort and planning usually went into these things.

Nastya sat still, keeping quiet and listening as Alyona explained herself. She flinched slightly as her mother brought up the fact that her sister would not be training within the near future, not enjoying the reminder that she had lost her rival for the time being. Anastasiya raised an eyebrow as her mother suggested that Aglaya might not want to return to training. She bit her lip to prevent herself from laughing, as the younger of Alyona’s daughters recalled the events of several days prior where Aglayka had attempted to fly on her broom, clearly wanting to return to training. Nastya didn’t think she had anything to worry about in that department. It did, however, concern her that their mother would think such a thing as being a real possibility. Nastya thought perhaps her mother secretly hoped that Aglayka would retire for some selfish reason of her own, and this made Nastya breathe out loudly through her nose. She couldn’t help but agree that her sister should not be performing in front of a crowd if she was not at her best. It would surely be humiliating for the current champion to have to do such a thing.

“I hope she will be training by then too.” Nastya hastitly replied, her voice tighter than normal. “But what if she wants to perform? What will you do then?” She asked, feeling like this was a strong possibility considering her sister’s nature and the events of Aglayka’s splinching incident.

Nastya went to grab her glass of water again but almost knocked it over as her mother brought up Aglayka’s stalker. This was exactly the kind of topic that she had wanted to avoid, and she was so tempted to just get up and leave in the middle of Alyona’s sentence. At least they were sensible enough to think that it was a possibility that he could show up, though Nastya felt that her mother hadn’t considered all the other athletes in this. Alyona talked of Aglayka’s protection, but what about her own? Or Zhenya and Zina’s, or Anna’s or Anatoliy’s or any of the other artistic flyers who would be performing in the show? This stalker would surely put them all at risk. Nastya steadied the glass as she quickly glanced at her mother, half-nodding her approval for the idea of having additional security for the event. However, she remained silent for the time being, feeling that her mother hadn’t given her enough information to warrant a proper reaction or response.

Then her mother added that she didn’t want Aglayka to be forced to perform in front of the stalker. Nastya’s hands balled into fists on their own accord as her eyes’ narrowed at Alyona. So her mother wanted to protect her elder sister from performing in front of such a maniac, but for Nastya herself her mother seemed totally fine with the idea?! The younger Tikhomirova sister really started to buy into the idea that had buried itself in her mind when she was still a young Durmstrang student, that she was just the spare child, that she was not important to her parents or the family. Nastya hadn’t thought about it before, because she always felt that her feelings did not matter, that she was not important in comparison to Aglayka’s suffering, but she was… afraid of potentially performing in front of the person who had tried to murder her sister. She was terrified of having to step out into the arena and pretend that everything was fine, when both she and the stalker knew that she had almost been an unwitting accomplice to his disgusting obsession with Aglaya going too far. Had her mother forgotten this?

She could feel the colour drain from her face as she began to think about such a thing more and more, her heartbeat was now rapidly increasing and Nastya had to fight to continue to pay attention to her mother’s words. Anastasiya hoped that her mother would somehow soothe her worries, but instead every word she said made it worse. As bad as it would have been to be the sole star of the show that she no longer wanted to perform in, Alyona seemed to say that the family didn’t think she was even good enough to be the sole star. She had to share her role with Anatoliy. Ordinarily, Nastya didn’t have a problem with him, he was nice enough and they had some fun moments together. However, she took great offence at having to share the spotlight with him. Alyona said that the media loved him, and Nastya’s brow furrowed. Did the media not like her? Was she not good enough for them? Why did the World only ever seem to have eyes for her elder sister and forget that she was there too?

“Photos?” Nastya mouthed inaudibly, in shock at what was happening. They were printing posters and programmes already for a show that she did not want to perform in. She didn’t want to be dressed up all pretty and perform her heart out in front of the man who had ruined her life, and almost ended her sister’s. She was not some circus animal that would perform when asked to. Nastya was not a puppet, she was a human being. And she certainly wasn’t going to perform alongside Anatoliy in some stupid program just because Aleksandra Viktorovna wanted her to. Aleksandra wasn’t even her coach, it shouldn’t have been any of her business making decisions about what she was going to do or who she would perform with. Nastya would perform alone and with no one else. Nastya had finally had enough, she was not going to be walked all over anymore.

“NO!” Nastya shouted as she grabbed the nearly empty glass and flung it at her mother. Luckily, her aim was so terrible that it sailed far past Alyona and smashed against the wall. “I will not!” Nastya cried shrilly, as she stood up from the seat and began pacing the room. “I do not perform with anyone. I work alone! Alone!” She huffed, her chest rising and falling rapidly, as she fought to hold back angry, hot tears. “I will not have my pictures taken,” she added, whirling around to face her mother. She couldn’t have her pictures taken as she was, surely. Even Nastya, though she hadn’t looked in a mirror for weeks, knew that she was hardly in the shape to be plastered on posters. “Let Anatoliy be the star of the show, since I’m clearly not good enough!” Nastya yelled, turning away from her mother again so she couldn’t see the stream of tears flowing down her face. Nastya was not sad, she was so angry and scared, she didn’t want her mother to think otherwise or seem weak. “I do not want to perform at all.” Nastya muttered bitterly as she crossed her arms, still turned away from her mother.

Alyona was glad to hear the enthusiasm in Nastya's voice as she spoke about the new element and how she'd try to get it ready for the new season. It was a good sign that the girl was working hard and hadn't lost her ambition even if she did give many other reasons to worry her mother. Listening to her speak about this made Alyona smile genuinely at her daughter. She was proud of her right now, very proud indeed.

It was a relief that her tactic was paying off and that Anastasiya agreed to have lunch with her, after all. Alyona had a feeling that she wouldn't see her daughter eat properly but it was a first step anyway. If her suspicion proved true she'd have to act one way or another even if she had no clue what she could possibly do. She could not force Nastya to eat, she could not administer potions to keep her healthy like she had done with Aglaya when she hadn't been responsive. It wasn't an option, especially not a long term one.

“Good,” Alyona said with a curt nod. “Lunch tomorrow. I'll inform Andrey.” She'd owl him once she was home tonight. Surely that was early enough to announce the lunch meeting for her father in law or maybe she'd pay him a visit to prepare him for what Anastasiya was going to tell him. Yes, maybe it was better to prepare him in order to avoid grandfather and granddaughter falling out.

Although Alyona watched her daughter closely as she spoke about the Christmas gala, she wasn't quite sure what to make of her facial expression. Clearly Nastya had some thoughts she did not share that might actually be quite interesting to know. The healer knew better than to enquire though, thinking that she had to tread carefully now anyway.

“Do you really think that your sister will want to perform?” Alyona asked and sighed. “See, it's October now and she cannot train yet. It'll take a while for her to regain her strength and get all her elements back when she is able to go back to training. I really doubt she'll be in any state to perform by then and even if she is – I'll handle that then. It's nothing we need to consider right now. This is an important event for the artistic flying school and we need to make sensible decisions here. We cannot risk another scandal.” Alyona hated to speak like that. However, it was not her initiative and she was only a chess piece in the family's game. She had to make her move according to the rules set by the family.

Already when she was still speaking, still explaining the plan, Alyona could see that this would not end well. She could sense Nastya's temper rising before her daughter even said or did anything. Why was she always the messenger? Everybody knew that the messenger got shot and, quite literally, something flew in her direction all of a sudden just after Nastya had shouted a first 'no', which was followed by a tirade worth of a petulant child.

Alyona tried to keep her expression neutral, wait until her daughter had said all that she apparently needed to say, give her time to calm down, but she felt like her chances to actually convince Anastasiya of the family's plan were low or actually non-existent. She wasn't quite sure which part of the plan made her daughter so terribly furious. It didn't matter though. If this didn't work out, she'd tell Aleksandra and Andrey that they had to change their plan. After all, Alyona felt too tired to fight with Nastya. She decided to try manipulating her daughter and in case that this didn't work either, she'd give up.

“Are you done now?!” she said, her voice icy. Alyona raised her eyebrows questioningly, but didn't really wait for a response. “What have you been thinking throwing a glass at me?” she asked but again didn't wait for a reply.

“Okay,” she then continued, trying to sound calm although she actually wanted to yell at her daughter for being unreasonable and making things unnecessarily difficult. “If you do not want to perform I'll inform Aleksandra and Andrey,” she offered. “I understand if you're scared. I'm sorry I brought that up. It's totally understandable that you shy away from performing after all that has happened. Anatoliy surely won't have a problem to perform and then Larisa can be the top female senior artistic flyer. She'll be excited to be featured alongside her brother as the new star of the scene.” Alyona's voice sounded bitter although she hadn't intended it. She felt that Larisa was nowhere near the standard of her daughters but she was the only other female senior artistic flyer in the family now.

“I thought that added security would make you feel better,” she said and sighed. “Well, I guess not. Is there anything I need to know though?” she asked, getting to her feet and walking over to Nastya to face her. “Did you get any threatening letters yourself?” she felt how her heartbeat quickened and she waited impatiently for the answer that was hopefully going to be no.

Nastya wiggled uncomfortably in her seat, already regretting agreeing to having lunch with them both. Hopefully, she’d be so distracted with trying to tell her long-time coach and grandfather what she wanted from her career that she’d forget about the food and be able to actually eat something comfortably. Anastasiya did want to eat, she really did, but she was just never hungry anymore and when she did eat something she always felt so overly full that she felt sick. It was weird, and she knew that, but it couldn’t be helped. Everything was going fine, she was still training properly, so it clearly wasn’t a problem.

“I don’t know.” Nastya honestly replied as her mother asked if her sister would actually want to perform. “It’s Aglayka!” She added with a shrug of her shoulders, “She usually chooses the stupid, reckless option for literally anything.” Nastya gave a weird sort of grimace as she said this. She both hated and admired her elder sister for this particular trait. Her sister had guts and courage but Nastya always preferred to play it safe, never pushing too hard unless she had no choice. She looked down at the floor as her mother added that it was already October and Aglaya was still at home, nowhere near ready for training judging by the splinching incident (not that Alyona knew that, of course). The callous, artistic flying business-orientated response her mother was throwing at her was not surprising, as she was still most shocked that it was already October. Nastya hadn’t been able to keep track of time, but she had been positive that it was still early September. “I agree, this is probably more important than ever. It wouldn’t be anything good if it went wrong…” the senior artistic flyer added, with an involuntary shiver, as she remembered the media storm that had led her to completely panic and sleep in the office. Perhaps she had over-reacted, but Nastya felt that no one could have really blamed her for that. It wasn’t exactly a normal situation. She certainly didn’t want a repeat of that again. Ever.

As soon as she heard the crash of the glass against the wall, saw her mother’s oddly neutral expression, heard her own yelling, Anastasiya regretted lashing out. She was, no doubt, going to be in major trouble. Nastya was ready to raise her hands to her ears to drown out her mother’s own shouting back… but her mother didn’t shout. Her back was still turned away from her mother, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tried to calm down. Alyona’s icy tone was enough to make her instantly back down, and cower in a little on herself. Her mother was right. What good would throwing a glass at her own mother have done? It could have seriously hurt her. Nastya instantly felt guilty, hugging her arms, feeling so vulnerable now. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, wondering if Alyona would have even heard it since she could barely hear it.

The fact her mother actually remained quite calm put her intensely at unease, wondering what exactly was going through Alyona’s head. If their roles had been reversed, she was sure that she would have gone berserk. Nastya thought she had actually managed to get out of the show without consequences as her mother said she’d tell Aleksandra and Andrey, but Nastya was glad that she was not facing her mother as Alyona suggested that she was scared. Nastya’s hands clenched down into fists as she huffed. She absolutely was scared. She was petrified. But her mother didn’t need to know that. Her mother had no right to know that, she had just shown she was angry. How could she be scared at the same time, and how did her mother know this without her showing it? “I’m not…” Nastya muttered under her breath in protest.

Then Alyona brought up Anatoliy and Larisa, of all people, even having the audacity to suggest that Larisa could even be a suitable replacement for her. Larisa, who had no senior national medals, no senior european medals, no senior world medals, and her junior achievements were irrelevant, or so Nastya believed. After all, no one had ever cared about her own junior achievements, plentiful as they were, so Nastya thought they didn’t count. Larisa was a brilliant athlete, but not on her level. Surely her mother knew that!

“Larisa?” Nastya shrieked, quickly wiping her cheeks to make sure they were dry before whirling round to face Alyona with a heavy scowl. “Larisa?!” She yelled again, trying to make the tirade of angry thoughts in her head form a sentence that Alyona would be able to understand. “How dare you even suggest such a thing! I don’t care if she’d be jumping for joy, it isn’t happening!” Nastya shouted, her nails digging into her hands from where she had clenched them so tightly. “She can wait her turn! She can be the ‘top’ senior artistic flyer when and only when I’ve retired!” Even then, Nastya didn’t think that would happen. By then the Shishkin sisters would both be seniors, and they were developing into wonderfully talented athletes who could easily overtake Larisa. She still couldn’t believe her mother even had the audacity to suggest such a ridiculous thing, how heartless her mother was, to replace her just like that.

Now, her mother even made her feel like she was over-reacting and being stupid for feeling afraid to perform, saying she thought that the extra security would be enough. Not that she was afraid, of course. Alyona stood up and moved to face her, but Nastya didn’t notice until her mother was there in front of her. Now the healer even seemed to think she was hiding something, making her feel even more like she had no right to be afraid to step out there, in front of all those people, where her sister’s stalker could be anywhere among them, watching, plotting. She was, in fact, hiding several things from her mother, but she had hidden them for a reason and certainly wasn’t going to say anything about it now just because Alyona asked. Nastya didn’t want her mother to see her face, and so she turned her back and paced a few steps away again.

“No… nothing.” Nastya replied tensely, not doing a very good job of a convincing tone. “I haven’t had any letters.” She added, though she wasn’t sure if that was actually true. She hadn’t bothered to check her letter cubby hole in the office for… well, for a while. “I’m… sorry if I worried you,” Nastya murmured hesitantly, hugging her arm as she stared at the floor, still feeling guilty about almost throwing a glass at her mother’s face but not wanting to apologise for that specific misdemeanour at that moment. “I’m fine.” Nastya stated, though it sounded as though she was trying to convince herself of this more than she was Alyona. “And… I’m not scared…” She whimpered, unable to get the thought of performing in front of a crazy person out of her mind. “I’m not scared. I’m not!” She argued weakly to herself, as she buried her face in her hands, her shoulders jerking up and down. She couldn’t believe she was crying again, and in front of her mother too. She was surely such a disappointment to the healer.

“Yeah,” Alyona said with a sad smile as Nastya said that Aglaya would usually choose being reckless. She both admired her daughter's bravery and judged her for being irresponsible but she felt that, maybe, after what had happened these days behind her eldest child. She feared that Aglaya might not be able to be her old self anymore. However, she felt that this was not a worry she needed to share with Nastya now. It was too early to think about it anyway. They'd have to wait until Aglaya was physically able to train again and see how it went.

Alyona was relieved to hear that her daughter agreed that it was important that the Christmas gala would go smoothly. It was essential not to give the yellow press anything there. In fact, the healer felt like Aglaya's absence was going to lead to rumours again but that couldn't be helped. She was by now considering to announce that Aglaya retired just to protect her daughter from even less pleasant speculations. When and if she felt able to return she could always have a comeback.

While Alyona did not at all approve of Nastya throwing a glass at her and being unable to control her temper, she didn't want a lengthy discussion about this now. She knew, after all, that her daughter was stressed, they all were. She had said enough already and it would help neither of them if she told Nastya that she needed an audible apology. It was not like Anastasiya was still a small child that would learn from mistakes after being reprimanded.

It seemed to the concerned mother that her daughter did not want to admit that she was scared. Alyona wondered why this was so hard to admit. The situation they were in was hardly ordinary and it was perfectly fine to be stressed, worried, scared, angry… There were so many emotions that were totally understandable but Nastya seemed to have trouble to admit this, even to herself probably.

The mention of Larisa had the desired effect, though, and Alyona had to hide a satisfied smile when her daughter reacted quite as she had expected.  “Well, you said you didn't want to perform,” Alyona said calmly, “someone has to be featured as the star of the show. If we do not put any names onto the posters nobody will be interested to come. I will admit, of course, that Larisa is not my first choice...”

Alyona looked at her daughter, waiting for a little bit before daring to ask the question that was the natural reaction to Nastya's rant. “Do you want to perform, after all?” she asked innocently. “It's your choice. I'll tell Aleksandra and Andrey whatever you decide to do.”

It worried Alyona that Nastya turned away from her, that she seemed so tense and was visibly struggling, but she honestly didn't know what to do. It was not as though her life was easy now. She was struggling herself but, naturally, her daughters were unaware of that. Sometimes Alyona wondered if they even knew that she loved them, that she only pushed them for their own sake and that she tried to protect them from harm.

She exhaled loudly in relief when Nastya said that she hadn't had any letters. While this answer was not a full guarantee it was still good enough for her now. Alyona shook her head slightly as her youngest child told her that she was sorry if she worried her and then said that she was fine and not scared.

“Nastenka, please,” she said as she stepped yet closer and gently rubbed her daughter's shoulder. “It's totally fine to be scared,” she muttered to her crying daughter, now reaching for Nastya's hands and pulling them down. She wasn't usually known for affectionate gestures. Under normal circumstances Alyona considered them pointless. Now, however, she pulled her child into a hug. “I'm scared, too. Terribly scared and worried...” she whispered and took a deep breath as she realised that her voice was trembling now.

Nastya smiled meekly, shrugging her shoulders again as her mother agreed with her that Aglayka would choose the reckless decision. The senior artistic flyer thought it was impossible not to agree: her sister was, without a doubt, the most annoyingly courageous, bold, reckless, irresponsible (and amazingly talented, but Nastya would rather die than say that out loud) athlete in the World.

The thought of Larisa taking her place, that she would be replaced before she had even vacated her role in the show officially, was too much to be borne. Nastya huffed angrily as her mother pointed out that someone had to be the star or else no one would come. “But…” There was no else who could replace her except Larisa, and Nastya now found herself not wanting to be replaced at all. She was the second top senior artistic flyer for witches, and since the main attraction was apparently now definitely not appearing, then Nastya just had to take her elder sister’s place. Anastasiya said nothing for a while though, as her hands remained balled into fists, and she stomped up and down the room.

Her mother asked if she did want to perform after all, and Nastya whirled around to face Alyona with an intense glare as she narrowed her eyes. “Damn it, yes! I’m not being replaced!” Nastya snapped, crossing her arms defiantly, hoping that it would somehow hide the fact that her heart was beating so hard that her catsuit was quivering. “Tell Aleksandra Viktorovna that I’ll do her stupid thing with Anatoliy too,” Nastya spat, scowling at the very thought of working with someone else and not wanting to let down her family and fall out of favour with the people who apparently completely controlled her life. “I hate them,” Nastya muttered spitefully under her breath as she tossed her head away from Alyona. “I hate this school.” She didn’t really mean it, and she hoped that Alyona either didn’t pay attention or just didn’t hear her say it, as she regretted it immediately. She just couldn't keep her temper in check that day.

Anastasiya tried to stop crying before her mother reached her, thinking that Alyona would disapprove of such emotion and that she was making a big deal out of nothing. She felt that she had to be completely detached about the situation, but Nastya was struggling to keep everything bottled up and cope. Nastya didn’t feel in control of anything anymore, that she was so weak and powerless and that the World was somehow against her and her elder sister.

Initially, Nastya flinched away from her mother’s touch as she rubbed her shoulder, somehow still feeling like Alyona would yell at her or shove her out the room and make her go away, despite how kind her mother’s voice sounded. It wasn’t until Alyona pulled her hands away from her face, revealing the tears that were running down her face and told her that it was okay to be scared that Nastya relaxed. Her mother had given her permission. It was okay to be feeling the way she was feeling, she didn’t need to pretend to be strong and uncaring anymore. Nastya couldn’t hold her emotions back any longer as her mother pulled her into an extremely rare hug, and Nastya sobbed loudly, clinging to her mother tightly. Alyona even admitted that she was scared too, and Anastasiya was shocked, feeling like her mother would never feel such things. It made her feel validated though, and Nastya finally admitted to herself what she’d been fighting against for weeks. “I’m scared, Mama! I’m so scared!” Nastya wailed, as she buried her face into her mother’s shoulder.

She took a shuddering breath, squeezing Alyona as tight as she could before she gently pulled away, keeping her grip on her mother’s forearms wanting to still have the physical comfort but see her mother’s face too. “How… how am I supposed to perform with-” Nastya broke off with a sob, “-with all those people? One of them could be him.” Nastya hung her head low, another sob escaping her as she sniffed. “And… what if her fans find out it was me?” Nastya began with a whimper, knowing that Alyona would be able to follow her meaning. “Those pralines, I didn’t mean to, but they’ll all hate me! What if… I… I get hexed or… or…” Nastya couldn’t continue as her cries became too strong that she couldn’t formulate any more words.

If this situation hadn't been so straining and if Alyona herself wasn't so tired she'd have been immensely satisfied that her manipulation of her youngest daughter worked as planned. However, she did feel rather content that she still knew what to say to make Nastya act the way she wanted. Yet, right now the healer wasn't sure if that was really what she wanted of her daughter. It was what Aleksandra and Andrey wanted but Alyona found herself doubting it was right now. She should probably have insisted on cancelling the Christmas gala. She should do whatever her daughters needed instead of keeping up a façade that was crumbling anyway.

“Okay,” Alyona said weakly, as Nastya snapped that she would not be replaced. “Whatever you choose,” she added, wanting to make clear that she would not force her daughter to do anything she did not want to do. These times lay behind them for sure. She was not going to insist on her taking part in the show if she didn't feel up to it.

It was amazing how much energy Nastya brought up, spatting out rather offensive comments. Alyona took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She knew that her daughter was under a lot of pressure now. She could not blame her for this outburst. In fact, she could only blame herself for having brought the topic up and for manipulating her into performing in the gala.

Nastya said that she hated the school, her family members involved with it and Alyona nodded to herself, feeling that her child had every right to feel like this now. She had always done what was best for the school herself, had never looked left or right to check if everything really was under control until it had all broken down. She swallowed hard, thinking that she had clearly failed her daughters. They had become amazing and outstanding athletes but at which costs?

Alyona felt like she needed to comfort her daughter despite her unreasonable outburst but she could feel her flinching away. It came as no surprise. The healer knew that she had herself under control most of the times while Nastya had always had a bad temper. It was unsurprising that she was struggling a lot now when Alyona herself was finding it hard to keep functioning.

It seemed to her that Nastya needed the reassurance that it was okay to worry and to be scared. It broke Alyona's heart to see her daughter cry this hard and she tried her best to put all her love for her into the rare hug, hoping that it would comfort her and make her feel a little better at least.

“I know,” she said quietly as Nastya finally admitted that she was scared. “I know… it's perfectly alright,” she added, blinking a few times to try and get rid of the tears that were threatening to water her eyes.

Nastya pulled away after a little while and voiced her concerns. Alyona didn't know what to say, didn't really know how she could help her daughter but she forced herself to stay level headed and think of some words of comfort.

“You can do it. When you're out there only your performance counts – nothing else is important then, neither what has happened nor what might happen in the future. We'll have added security for this event. I know this person might be there but… he won't be able to do anything. I'll make sure you're safe. We'll protect the arena so nobody from the stands can hex you or anyone for that matter.” Her voice trailed off as she considered the comment about Aglayka's fans.

“Nobody ever has to find out,” Alyona said, her voice a little brittle now. “And even if it ever becomes public – it wasn't your fault. I'll do everything that's needed to make sure that the whole world knows this. You are not to blame for what has happened, do you hear me?” Alyona asked imploringly as she gently but firmly grabbed her daughter's shoulders and shook her ever so slightly. “Do not blame yourself! Nobody else does either.”