In vino veritas (Dottie)

Gideon had done a great job avoiding Dottie for a little over a month now. He wasn't willing to take the initiative and talk to her. It was absolutely up to her to make the first step. She was the one who had entered his world and she was the one who ought to explain herself. Why had she only contacted Ricky and never him? Why had she chosen to leave the Ministry and become a professor? It seemed like such a random choice. Clearly, Dottie was not professor material or was she? He hadn't heard any complaints about her yet, but then again he was not interviewing students to find out what she did in her class – at least not very often. He had occasionally tried to casually interrogate his students to find out how they liked the new Charms professor.

He tried to focus on his life, his job, or maybe not quite his – he liked to stick his nose into things that were none of his business if he felt that a student needed his support. Sometimes that went quite well and he could actually help and sometimes… well, sometimes it backfired. He could live with that, though. As long as he was successfully supporting his students most of the times, he was happy to take the blow when one of them did not appreciate his efforts.

Given that Dottie was Ricky's friend and that Selena was now also attending Ilvermorny, Gideon hadn't seen much of his best friend lately. Admittedly he had even avoided him, thinking that he'd talk about Dorothy or, even worse, try to set up a meeting for them so they could talk things through. Then again, Ricky was probably wise enough to keep out of their drama. He had never got involved but then again he had been the one to tell Gideon about Dottie joining the staff.

The fact that he had so far successfully got around having to talk to Dottie made Gideon tread less warily. He did not always peek out of a room before stepping out into the corridor. He was still on the watch, of course, but he had had some rather narrow escapes in the past week. For example, when he had walked into the dining room and only turned around when he approached the teacher's table and saw her already sitting there.

It was not that he didn't like her anymore and he certainly did not consider himself a coward but facing his own demons was really not his cup of tea. Gideon much preferred solving other people's problems than to deal with his own issues. He liked to believe that he felt good that way and that he didn't need to be a lot more than a professor and a potioneer. Ever since they had broken up, Gideon had had the occasional affair but not countable relationship. He felt that he didn't need that, he didn't need a family, he had hundreds of kids at school, after all. That surely was enough.

It was evening now and Gideon had received a parcel from his Italian mentor, Ennio Lanotte, filled with two bottles of Chianti. The professor had quickly written a letter of thanks back to his friend. He was truly grateful that Ennio tried to cheer him up after he had vented quite a bit in his last letter to the older wizard. He took one of the bottles of Chianti and made his way to the kitchen. For obvious reasons Gideon had, once again, skipped dinner tonight and he now definitely needed a snack along with the wine. Maybe he'd find some crackers and cheese.

He wasn't sure why he was taking the bottle of wine with him, given that he could as well grab snacks and eat (and drink) in his room. The professor realised that as he was halfway down to the kitchen already and thought that it was too late to turn around and bring the bottle back now. He grinned as he realised that he looked as though he was sneaking out to a date but it didn't really matter.

As he pushed the door open and stepped into the kitchen, he came to an abrupt halt. Gideon stared at Dottie as though he had just seen a ghost. Admittedly, the man would probably be less shocked to see a ghost than his ex now. “Oh,” was all that he managed to say as he wondered if he should just run for it. However, his legs weren't moving and he just stared at Dottie, thinking that age was becoming her well. She was even prettier now than she had been back in their student days.

@Dottie Dubé

Ever since she had finally revealed her deep secret to Ricky, Dorothy had felt like she was a firecracker that would explode at the slightest hint of a match; the match, of course, being the wizard to whom this very crazy secret rested solely on. The simplest way to avoid this was to avoid the Potions professor, but that simply wasn’t an option anymore. Dottie was sure that if she didn’t admit the truth to Gideon soon, didn’t at least make the effort to say hello after 12 years, that Ricky would either force her hand or accidentally reveal something himself.

Though she was usually a pretty brave and courageous witch, the Charms professor was finding it difficult to just go up to Gideon and say something, anything that would make what she had to do easier. Every time she saw him, Dottie’s heart skipped a beat and she’d turn away, either chickening out completely or finding some kind of excuse to not go up to him; whether it was that there were students around, that her daughter herself was nearby (which was a whole other battle that she’d soon need to worry about), or that it just wasn’t the right moment. Dottie didn’t think the right moment would ever present itself though.

It wasn’t like Gideon was making the effort to try and talk to her either, so she for all she knew he could have still hated her guts, still blamed her for whatever ridiculous thing they had argued about that Dottie couldn’t even remember anymore. Since that night she had broken down completely to her childhood best friend, Dottie had spent most of her time trying to figure out what to say, what her first sentence (at the very least) would be after over a decade of no contact. What in Merlin’s name could she say, though? ‘Hi, nice to see you again, you knocked me up and now your child sits in your classroom, have fun being a dad!’ Why couldn’t she make sensible decisions for once in her life? Why couldn’t she just get over herself and have told everyone involved when she should have, at the beginning when she knew she was pregnant in the first place?

She felt guilty for accidentally dragging Ricky into all of this mess, for burdening him with her secret before her own daughter and Adelaide’s father knew, but at the same time Dottie felt that it could not have been helped. It could not have been avoided and Dorothy was having to learn to accept that she had dragged her best friend into it and there was no turning back now. She had literally picked up her entire life and moved just for this moment, she’d quit her job at MACUSA and joined the faculty at Ilvermorny precisely for this reason, it would be ridiculous to not carry it out all the way. She’d have to be responsible for whatever happened, whatever the outcome was; favourable or disastrous.

Only halfway through grading all her student’s papers, the Canadian witch sighed as she glanced at her glass and saw that it was empty of the rum she’d been drinking. Dottie remembered why this was the first written assignment she had set since she began teaching a month prior. It was awfully boring, and Dottie felt like she really was still far too sober for dealing with some of the stupid answers she was getting. Was she a bad teacher or were some of her students really just that dumb? She kind of hoped it was the latter, that she was actually decent at her new job. After all, she tried to make it fun, knowing that probably the students (much like herself, at times) would rather be doing something else than sitting there listening to her.

Standing up with a groan, Dorothy stretched her neck and her arms before shaking out her legs as she felt that she’d been sitting down for far too long. Summoning her wine-red blazer, Dottie pulled it on, sliding her wand into the inner pocket, before grabbing the empty glass and heading down to the kitchens, hoping that she could find a top up of rum (or if not, literally anything alcoholic).

Entering the kitchen, the professor was pleased to see that it was completely empty which meant she was free to roam around and search for a drop of alcohol as much as she pleased. Searching under some of the counters, Dottie grinned as she found her mission was a success, pulling out a bottle of coconut-flavoured rum which looked perfect for getting her through the rest of the assignments. Opening the bottle, Dottie poured a generous amount into her glass, downing half of it to taste test it, and upon finding that it was very good, quickly downed the rest of it.

Without thinking, she started pouring again to have more, forgetting that the whole point was to bring it back to her room to finish grading. She had just put the bottle and was about to tip the glass back again when someone opened the door and caught her red-handed. And of course, because her life was determined to be as difficult as possible, it wasn’t anyone who had walked in. It was Gideon, himself, just as annoyingly handsome as ever.

Dottie’s mouth fell open and she stared straight back at him, feeling her heart beating a million times a minute as her face drained of all colour. Her brain seemed to choose that exact moment to just give up, and the only thing Dottie found herself able to do was pick up the glass and down the entirety of its contents again. “Yo.” Dottie wanted to set herself on fire as soon as it left her lips. She’d heard some kid say it in class, but never did she think she’d be using it herself, especially not for this! She’d practiced this moment so many times, and now that she was actually in the moment, all she said was ‘yo’?!

“I, uh…” Dottie stammered, having no clue what the hell to say. “I’d offer you some, but I see you’re already covered.” She muttered lamely, as she gestured to the quickly emptying bottle of coconut-flavoured rum. “It has… been a while.” Dottie stated the obvious, but at least it was safe ground. She hoped that Gideon wouldn’t just turn around and run away. “It is… nice to see you again.” Dottie gave a small, awkward smile. She meant it though, she really did. It was nice to see what had happened to him in their time apart, see how well he had done for himself, even if she hadn’t been a part of it.

Gideon smiled weakly as Dottie said 'yo' to acknowledge his presence. They were probably worse than their teenage students now. Him only saying 'oh' and her responding with 'yo'. If he didn't feel thunderstruck now he'd probably laugh out loud or, well, if his legs would obey him, he'd run for it. However, as it was he looked at her, appreciating the fact that her body had taken on soft womanly curves that made her even more attractive than teenage Dottie had been.

While Dorothy was stammering and didn't make a whole lot of sense, Gideon appreciated that she actually tried to talk to him. The situation was awkward, after all. After all these years they ran into each other in the kitchens of Ilvermorny, the school where they had first met and developed feelings for one another.

He could hear his own heart beat loudly as he listened to her and nodded when she stated that it had been a while. It had in fact been more than a while, more than a decade even. Nonetheless he wasn't going to comment on that. Gideon felt the bottle of wine slowly slide out of his hand and only managed to fasten his grip at the very last second so it would not fall down.

Smiling sheepishly at Dottie he put the bottle down on the nearest table. Frankly he wasn't sure why he felt so embarrassed now, was it because they hadn't seen each other so long and had behaved like kids, because he almost just dropped the bottle of wine that he forgot he had been holding or was it because Dottie just said that it was nice to see him again?

“I'm...” his mind blanked. Gideon wondered if that was how his students felt when he asked them something they actually ought to know but didn't. “Yeah…” he muttered, taking a tentative step towards her.

“It's been a long time,” he added, running his hand through his hair and wondering if there was anything he could say or do to make this whole situation less awkward. “You look good,” he offered, nodding as though to underline his statement. He just couldn't take his eyes off her and he hoped that it wasn't too obvious. He had tried not to look at her for over a month and now that they were facing each other properly for the first time, he needed to look at her and see how she had changed over the years.

“Have the students driven you to drink already?” he teased but his voice did not sound as playful as he would have liked. “It's quite the career change you've made there, isn't it?” Gideon was genuinely curious to find out what had Dottie made change her job. Maybe things at the Ministry hadn't gone well for her. He wouldn't know, he wasn't the schoolfriend she had stayed in touch with and Ricky hadn't told him anything either.

Dorothy mirrored Gideon’s weak smile, blushing slightly as she noticed him looking at her. She wondered exactly what he was looking at her for, though she was guilty of looking at him too, mentally noting all the changes that the years had done to him, making him even more handsome if that was possible.

Her own heart continued beating wildly, as she was anxious for this meeting to be over with and at the same time wanting it to never end. He said nothing for a while, and Dottie wondered if he was as tongue-tied as she was. She couldn’t blame him. As he placed the bottle he was holding down, offering a sheepish smile, Dottie reciprocated briefly. She soon glanced down at her bottle of rum and the glass, wondering if perhaps she should skip pouring the rum into a glass and just start downing the whole bottle instead.

She continued looking down at the bottle and glass and debating as she waited for Gideon to form full sentences again. Her eyes flicked up to meet him as came towards her slightly though she remained where she was. Was this as awkward for him as it was for her? She hoped so. She was about to make it even more awkward after all.

“Yeah…” Dorothy breathed as he reiterated that it had been a long time, not knowing what else to say since she had already established that fact. “Oh…” Dottie quietly gasped, her heart skipping a beat as he said that she looked good. That was… really nice to hear, and kind of sweet. “Thank you.” She chirped, feeling her face go a little red, as she couldn’t suppress a grin. “You don’t look so bad yourself,” Dottie added, looking him up and down with a semi-flirtatious smile. What was she doing?! This was not the time to flirt. She was totally blaming the rum.

She couldn’t stop the snort of laughter as he asked if the students had driven her to drink. They sort of had, though one student in particular and two professors, one of whom was standing in front of her were the real cause. Dottie didn’t think she could say that though. It would be just a little bit rude of her to just say, ‘no, this is your fault’ immediately after 12 years of silence. She looked down at the rum and back at him with a sheepish smile, fighting the urge to just grab the bottle and start drinking it. “Well, I didn’t think they’d be this… dumb.” She offered, remembering the one essay that had caused her to bring out the glass in the first place. “According to one Horned Serpent, bombarda is the levitation charm… I think that house is doomed.” She laughed, wishing she was the head of that house just to be there and watch the chaos that could inevitably occur. “Were we that stupid? I don’t think we were.” It was somehow easier to talk now, her words flowed better. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the fact he’d given a lifeline for the conversation. Who knew?

“Yes… It certainly is.” Dottie muttered, as Gideon stated that it was quite the career change she had made. She wondered how she could explain why she’d left MACUSA without introducing Gideon to the idea that he had a daughter. Of course, he kind of needed to know that too. But… not yet. They’d only just started talking, after all. “It was awfully tedious making all these rules for professors to follow…” She gave a crooked smile, unable to take herself seriously. “I realised it wasn’t my calling. I prefer to break rules, instead of make them.” She briefly wondered how many of her regulations had affected Gideon’s teaching without him even realising. “And…” her tone instantly changed, softer and more unsure. “I just couldn’t do it… I couldn’t bear to leave Addie.” She averted her gaze away from Gideon and down to the floor. What she had failed to add was that she hadn’t been able to stomach the idea of Addie meeting her father for the first time, and her not being there to witness it.

This was crazy. After all these years when they hadn’t been in contact there was still this chemistry between them. Gideon could sense it as soon as he had paid her a compliment and she responded with one herself. He didn’t know how he really felt about her - was he mad at her? Disappointed? Hurt? Did he feel guilty for not having tried to contact her? He couldn’t tell.

He knew, however, that he was not going to let the same thing happen to them again. While he was eager to get away from her right now, he couldn’t deny the attraction. He had had affairs over the past years but no woman had made him feel the same way Dottie had.

“Thanks,” Gideon’s voice sounded somewhat hoarse and he cleared his throat. He didn’t know what to add, didn’t even know if thanking her for the compliment had been right. Everything about this situation felt odd and he wasn’t sure what was the right thing to say or do. He felt a little like all these years ago when he had figured out that he liked Dottie more than just a good school friend. It had been a struggle to understand his feelings, figure out hers, accept them, talk about them, be open about them.

Gideon laughed when the fellow professor said that she had not expected the students to be this dumb. “Oh no, they’re not dumb,” he responded, still grinning. “They are just not trying hard enough. Other things are more important than homework assignments in their eyes.” Gideon had had these phases, too, when he had put off essays until late at night and then had jotted something down without really trying to make a whole lot of sense.

Dottie tried to explain her career change and Gideon somehow felt that neither the MACUSA job nor the professor profession was really right for his former girlfriend. Maybe he was wrong though. Nobody would have deemed him professor material either, he assumed. He might be unjust if he pretended to be better than Dottie in terms of teaching kids. She could probably get their attention, too, and she was great at Charms anyway.

“Addie,” Gideon repeated as Dottie mentioned her name. “Your daughter. Well, imagine every parent would feel like that!” he joked, “the school would soon have about as many professors as students.” Maybe this wasn’t funny. Maybe he shouldn’t have said it. Maybe he should just turn around and run for it now. However, he did not move. Instead he looked around for some snacks which had been his reason to walk into the kitchen in the first place.

She smiled at him, finding herself leaning slightly more on the table without meaning to. “That’s why this is the first written assignment I’ve set,” she shook her head a little, laughing at herself. “I totally agree with them. Homework really [is] stupid. Such a headache to plan, and assign and mark and keep track of it all.” She rolled her eyes, realising she was rambling, and she couldn’t help it. “I’m never assigning another one ever again.” Dottie laughed, feeling like that was actually a good idea even though she wouldn’t actually follow through with such a plan.

“If…” Dottie shook her head, sighing to herself as the smile faded from her face. She was about to say ‘if you were a father, you’d understand’. But that was exactly the problem. He was a father, he just didn’t know it yet. She wondered if he even wanted a child, if he’d be somehow open to the idea of Addie being his daughter, raising her alongside herself. It was stupid, naive and overly hopeful, most likely. But that didn’t stop Dorothy from wishing that it would, eventually at least, work out that way. She really wanted to fix her mistakes and give Addie a loving father that she deserved. She had tried many other men (and women and others too) but no one, not one of them had been able to replace Gideon. She had to tell him. She just had to.

“Well, she’s all I have.” She decided on, tentatively glancing at him before looking down at the bottle of rum and the glass. Would he judge her for just downing some more rum? “I mean, my parents have been great helping me out but…” She paused, pouring more rum into the glass. “She’s everything to me.” She finished, her voice cracking slightly. Most parents probably felt the same, that their child or children were their entire life. But, she hoped the desperation in her voice betrayed how difficult it had been for her. She had raised Adelaide almost entirely alone, and she had had to learn to love her own daughter for the first few weeks. It hadn’t been easy to learn to love a child that she couldn’t even stomach looking at for the first few days. She downed the entire glass again in one go, quickly raising a hand to wipe her mouth, no longer caring what he thought. Why was she so emotional? Was it because of Gideon, and all the memories resurfacing? Was it just the rum? Was she just tired after a long marking session?

“Is she… Is Adelaide okay? In your class, I mean.” Dottie asked hesitantly, biting her lip. She needed to know if Gideon liked Adelaide or not. She was praying to every deity that existed that he did, she felt that would make things easier with… everything she was about to tell him. She felt like he had to like her, she had so much of his personality sometimes.

Gideon wasn’t sure if she was joking or serious when Dottie said she would never assign homework again. He didn’t want to comment on this but his opinion of her as a professor was not particularly high at this point. It still felt like a random career change to him and one that she had not really thought through. Maybe he was wrong, though. It had taken him some time to develop as a professor so he felt that she deserved a proper chance, too.

He nodded but he didn’t really understand what Dottie was talking about. ’She’s all I have’ sounded dramatic and, again, Gideon felt that if all parents who felt like that about their children started randomly teaching at Ilvermorny the school would soon be flooded with countless professors that didn’t know what they were doing.

“Well, I’m sure Addie loves you a lot,” Gideon said, feeling somewhat unsure what he could say. He wasn’t sure if the girl was happy about the fact that she had - unlike most of her peers - her mother at Ilvermorny. The girl had probably been eager to make this big step towards growing up, being away from home. Now she had her mother keeping an eye on her while her friends were (except for Ricky’s Selena) away from their parents. Dottie’s role in this was probably nicer than Addie’s. However, he did not want to share his thoughts with his ex girlfriend now. He was in no position to judge. They weren’t close anymore.

When Dottie asked about her daughter, Gideon raised his eyebrows a little before nodding. He tried to envision the girl’s face and once he could see her face in front of his inner eye, he felt he could give the fellow professor a response.

“Yes, sure. She’s great,” he said despite the fact that he hadn’t really interacted with the girl a lot. Of course he had paid her more attention than most other first years, simply because he knew that she was Dottie’s kid. However, aside from in lessons he hadn’t spoken to her at all. Did Dottie ask all members of staff how they liked her child? It seemed a little overbearing, but, again, he did not feel like he was in a position to comment. Not yet, anyway. Maybe as colleagues they’d establish a new familiarity that would allow him to comment again at some point.

The awkwardness was somehow both gone and even stronger than before. Dorothy couldn’t really tell just yet if Gideon had changed somewhat or if he was still the same guy she had gone out with, the same guy she had broken up with.

He seemed much quieter than she was being, his facial expressions and odd nodding here and there seeming to do most of the talking for him. It was weird how her head seemed so empty and fuzzy and yet she was so hyper-focused on the other professor’s every movement. She looked down at the glass and the bottle again, briefly flitting her eyes back up to Gideon as he said that Adelaide probably loved her a lot. Did she dare? She forced a smile as she poured into the glass again, though she didn’t attempt to drink it just yet. Dottie wasn’t even so sure it was a good idea. She wasn’t exactly the best holder of liquor in the World and she had started losing track of just how many she had had. “Of course she does.” Dottie replied awkwardly back, feeling that neither of them really knew what to say.

The Charms professor didn’t know what to make of Gideon’s slight raise of his eyebrows after she enquired what he thought of Addie. Part of her was expecting to suddenly hear that she’d blown up his classroom, set fire to her potions, sent another student to the hospital wing… so when she heard that she was apparently great, it was her own turn to raise her eyebrows in disbelief. “Well… that’s… that’s great.” Dottie replied, wishing she’d found a different word to the one he’d used, but she was already starting to feel a little unsteady.

“I’m glad you like her. Makes what I have to tell you a lot… easier.” Well, that was a complete lie. Nothing could make such a bombshell easier or nicer, but at least it sounded like Gideon didn’t hate her daughter, and that was honestly the best possible start she could hope for.

“Addie is uh… She’s…” She couldn’t do this without some extra help, her heart was suddenly going crazy. Dottie quickly grabbed the glass of rum, downing its contents in one before just completely and untactfully blurting out the very secret she’d kept for twelve years. “She’s your daughter.”

They were both in their thirties, both professors. They knew each other for so long, although they hadn’t seen or heard from each other for over a decade and yet Gideon felt like he was a teenager again. Dottie’s presence made him feel as nervous as it had when they had first discovered that they had more than merely friendly feelings for one another. He tried to stay calm, not to let it show that he felt awkward and yet he knew it was in vain.

He had answered Dottie’s question about how Adelaide was in his class with ‘she’s great’ and now the proud mother said that that was ‘great’. Once again Gideon found himself nodding and felt so stupid that he couldn’t just make a fun comment now. Surely, the situation called for a joke and yet, while he’d usually have something funny to say, the professor couldn’t think of anything now.

Dottie stated that she was glad that he liked her daughter. That was a nice thing to say. It was charming of her to care about that after all this time. The comment that him liking Addie made it easier for Dottie to tell him something made the man frown a little, though. What did Dottie have to say? Was her daughter a pyromaniac just like her mother? Did she want him to keep an eye on her, so Ilvermorny wouldn’t be reduced to ashes?

Dottie went on and Gideon looked at her, his mouth slightly ajar. He held his breath, just stared at her. After what felt an eternity, he blinked a few times. There was a strange ringing tone in his ears now.

“Errr, what?” he asked sharply, disbelief written all over his face. He must have misunderstood. This just couldn’t be true. Was this intended to be a joke? If so, it was not funny at all.

“Did you just…” his voice trailed off and he shook his head. She hadn’t just told him that Addie was his daughter, had she? It couldn’t be true. He pinched his arm to make sure he was not dreaming or hallucinating. Dottie was still there, standing right in front of him.

“You gotta be kidding me,” he said weakly. Countless questions were coming to his mind now, but he only blurted out the most pressing ones.

“Is this really true? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

The professor wished that she could somehow spontaneously combust into ashes. She cringed the moment the words had left her mouth. Yet, at the same time, she also wanted to melt in relief. Ricky knew the truth, and now so did Gideon. All that was left to do was to tell Adelaide herself. It was, technically, almost over. However, Dorothy knew that it wasn’t going to be so simple. It wasn’t as if she was telling Gideon some minor, random fact about her daughter. Whatever came her way, she probably deserved. She realised now how foolish, childish and irresponsible it had been to keep it secret for such a long time. It would have been better to tell the truth straight away, or keep it hidden forever. Dottie just hadn’t been strong enough for that though.

Perhaps it would have been better to say this when she was still sober. Dottie wished she wasn’t such a lightweight. She could feel the last few drinks of rum now going straight to her head, and it was all too late to stop it, to keep some control over the situation. Then again, she supposed, had she not drunk a significant portion of the bottle on the table, then perhaps she wouldn’t have had the courage to say anything at all.

He stayed quiet for a bit, which Dottie wasn’t surprised at, and she was grateful for the few seconds to take a deep breath in and out, to prepare herself for dealing with whatever Gideon eventually ended up saying. He questioned it, and Dottie opened her mouth to respond (not that she knew what she was going to respond with) but he continued and she closed it again, as she began leaning on the table.

“No. I’m not kidding.” She muttered softly, placing a hand on the table as she felt the room move with her. She kept her head down, avoiding eye contact with him. “Yes, it’s true.” She replied weakly, suddenly feeling like this was all a terrible idea. Why didn’t she tell him earlier? That was a good question. One that Dottie felt she couldn’t possibly have a good answer for. There were too many reasons why she didn’t say anything, and none of them really made sense in her head anymore.

“I… I… don’t know.” Dottie slurred slightly, trying to think of any defensive excuse she could. Nothing could excuse her, however, and she slumped forward over the table, resting her head in her hand with this realisation. “Because we broke up? So you probably didn’t want a kid with me?” That was true twelve years prior, at least. Now that she said it out loud though, it really felt childish.

“She doesn’t know yet.” Dottie added quickly, though she wasn’t sure if that made things better or worse for Gideon. “I thought that… maybe… I should tell you first…” This was such a mess. She was such a mess.

After he had asked his questions, Gideon just stared at Dottie. He felt a little dizzy all of a sudden. Again he thought that this couldn’t be real. He was almost convinced that he’d wake up any second now and find himself in his bed after a really strange dream. He pinched his arm again, but he still didn’t wake up. Slowly he began to accept that he could not wake up because he wasn’t asleep.

She said she was not kidding.It would have been a pretty bad joke to make in the first place. His gaze was pretty blank as he nodded and echoed “it’s true…” His mouth felt dry now and he looked around. Shakily he moved to grab a glass and filled it with water. He emptied it eagerly.

Only as he finished he looked at her again just in time as she answered his other question. He stared at her for a moment, unable to come up with anything to say. She didn’t know why she hadn’t told him? Hadn’t she deemed it an important thing to share? He had a daughter and had not been a part of her life for the past eleven years and all his ex-girlfriend said in her defense was that she didn’t know why she had concealed the truth from him? Was he such a terrible and irresponsible person that Dottie thought he’d be an awful father?

“She doesn’t know…” Gideon felt a little silly for just echoing her words again, but couldn’t help it. He felt he needed to hear these things again to believe them. Nothing seemed to make any sense to him anymore.

Admittedly their breakup hadn’t been pleasant - but which breakup really was? - did that justify this behaviour, though? Did that explain why she had kept this secret for so long? Why was she telling him about this now?

“I…” he started and then blanked again. He honestly didn’t know what to say. He had a daughter. He was a father. “I…” he began once more and shook his head. He stared at Dottie again, ran his hand through his hair and began pacing the kitchens.

“How could you have kept that from me?” he asked, his voice louder than before. He stopped right in front of her, a slightly pained expression spreading across his face. “I have a child and missed seeing her grow up because…” He flung his hands into the air and shook his head again. “I don’t understand you.”