don't show up, don't come out | jae

"Whatever, Jae," Mavis said with a pout, but she knew he was right; she was stalling. Flying used to be her favorite thing to do in the entire world. More than shopping, or studying, or gossiping, Mavis loved to be in the air. And now it was like that part of her had been stolen, and she was afraid of losing the fight to get it back. So scared of failing and falling that she wouldn't even try. And yet, she found some new sense of bravery clinging to Jae's shoulders. He had always been her source of stubbornness, a wealth of obnoxious courage, and just like he got her out of that tree as kids, Jae got her back into the sky.

"Not really!" She yelled into his ear, clinging tightly to him as her chest pushed into his back and her hips squeezed his. Mavis was not okay with this, she thought she would be, but she was not. Her hands felt like they might go numb, and her heart was racing, sending sparks of electricity like waves across her chest. "Wait, wait, wait," She begged, her eyes closing tightly as they ascended, but then, a cool breeze rushed through her hair, and he stopped the broom. They hovered, barely ten feet off the ground, and Mavis felt herself relax, even if it was just a little bit. Enough to realize how close she had been holding Jae and how he was not the small boy she used to push around the playground anymore.

"Um, err, sorry," She said, releasing his shoulders from her death grip and forcing herself to take a steadying breath. "This isn't sooo bad," Mavis explained, one hand still holding onto him, just not as dramatically, and the other brushing an errant strand of hair back behind her ear. "Just fly slow, okay."

For a reason he couldn't explain, her 'not really' made him smile. Or maybe it was because the way she was clinging to him. He felt every line of her against his back. It was the first time he had ever had someone on a broom with him. Or maybe it was the fact that she trusted him with this. Maybe it was just her, period.

Jae tried not to give into the euphoria he got from flying and slowed, hovering lightly not far from the ground, slowly moving forward at a snail's pace as he heard her whispered pleas. He tried to look over his shoulder at her, but understood more of what she was feeling by how she loosened her death grip on his shoulders, her exhale against his neck.

He just shrugged at her apology, brushing it away easily. It was of no consequence to him. She didn't have anything to apologize for and he said as much to her as he released his right hand from the broom and patted her knee once before he thought it was a dumb move and was quick to place his hands back on the broom. "So far, so good," he said, throwing a flash of a grin over his shoulder before he started to pick up a little speed, still going slow by all accounts, but the wind blew through their hair and Jae felt the flying high he always did on the pitch. Maybe even a little higher because Mae was here with him.

"Going to do a lap," he told her as he started on the loop around the pitch, passing the towers where spectators stood. He didn't want her sitting in the stands though, he wanted her back on the pitch.

His so far, so good, helped her to relax, but Mavis still felt like she might spiral at any second. It felt like a lump the size of planet Earth stuck in her throat; it was difficult to breathe. And there was a pounding in her ears; wait, was that her heartbeat? Jae's hand on her knee brought Mavis back, but only momentarily. A part of her was still so terrified to be up here. Afraid they would fall, scared of getting hurt or hurting him in the process, but there was another part too. A quieter part was thrilled to be in the air again, and she had Jae to thank for it.

"Um, okay," She said, squeezing his shoulder as a means to say she didn't hate the plan. They went a little faster, and she thought she would be okay with that, her heart was racing, but she felt safe. And then he began to turn, and she felt the center of gravity shift, and it was all downhill from there. "Jae!" She screamed, wrapping her arms tightly around his stomach, her face pressed against his back. Mavis's eyes screwed shut; she couldn't watch, they were going to fall, and it was going to hurt as much as it had the last time.

But they didn't.

They rounded the corner past the Slytherin stands, and Mavis peaked out from behind her hiding place in his sweatshirt. They were okay. "I'm not going to let go." She admitted, her hands still around his waist, her body snug against him. She took a deep, relieved breath. How was it that he still smelled just how she remembered? Like soap and his grandmother's glass noodles recipe. "But maybe could we go back down now?" Mavis whispered, sounding vulnerable, her face close to his.

Jae heard her hesitation and gave her a little nod, reminding himself to take it slow for her sake even as he wanted to race. He had a huge urge to just start racing down the field just to taunt her, but he held himself in check. It didn't seem to be enough though because she screamed, the sound carried away on the wind and he jumped, turning to look at her over his shoulder. She was squeezed up tight against his back that he couldn't even see her face, only felt her arms wrapped tightly around him. He tried not to revel in it.

"You're alright, Mae," he said over his shoulder. If she didn't hear the words, maybe she'd feel reassured as the sound rumbled through his chest as she clung to him. He had known by the look in her eyes as she had yelled at him on the pitch that her fear was real but maybe he hadn't realized quite how consuming it was. They weren't even going fast, not really. Not even a tenth of the speed either of them used during games. He felt a sickness rise in him that something he couldn't even do anything about could hurt her that much.

"Then don't," he said easily, as if that settled it, his heart racing for reasons other than flying. He knew it was terrible to find enjoyment in her fear, but he thought he might volunteer for this anytime. Jae felt her chin on his shoulder, her chest against his back, her hair flowing around them and he heard even her whispered plea. They hadn't even done a full lap, but he figured she knew her limits better than him. Well, that wasn't exactly true, but he'd trust her on this one small thing.

He nodded, unable to find the words, but he took them down slowly, making a wide slow circle descent. But he couldn't quite resist that feeling he kept having either so as they were nearing the ground, he dipped the broom down quickly, a fun swooping feeling making his stomach twist, before he leveled out, a wickedly amused grin on his face before their feet brushed the grass for a long few moments and he landed. And while he felt like he wanted to be in the air forever, like this, with her, he touched her hand at his waist and turned, her grip loosening. "So?" he asked, brows quirked as he read her face.

Funnily enough, Mavis did find comfort in the sound of Jae’s voice, even if she barely understood what he was saying. He was calm, so it made sense that she should calm down too, right? She sucked in another breath, face still smushed against his back, and nodded. She was alright; she had to be. They weren’t flying very fast, but she still felt waves of anxiety washing over her, every little movement, every time the breeze picked up, she clung to him.

There was no way she’d ever make it back on the Gryffindor quidditch team at this rate. She wasn’t flying; she was riding, and barely that. And yet, it was still an accomplishment. Two months ago, this wouldn’t have even been an option. Mavis knew she had Jae to thank for it, just like she knew he’d be smug when she told him he was right, just like always.

As they neared the ground, she almost relaxed, just in time for Jae to go back to being a jerk and drop the broom a few feet unexpectedly. She gripped his hoodie, the soft fabric the only thing from keeping her painted nails from digging into her palms. “Jae! You arsehole!” She screamed and began swatting at him the second she realized their feet were mere inches from the ground. Her trainers hit the grass the second they were close enough to the ground, and she spun around to face him, hands planted on her hips. “You suck, do you know that?”

And then a realization struck her: she had just been on a broom, in the sky, flying. And suddenly, Jae’s stunt no longer registered. Instead, she punched at the air, a wild smile bursting across her face. “And Mavis Nandamuri flies again!~” She broadcasted, one hand cupping her mouth and her hips shaking enthusiastically.

Jae knew he shouldn't have been thinking about the way that she was squeezed up against him, not when she was this terried. Or maybe it was more accurate to say that he knew other people would have been focused on other things, but he just kept thinking that she hadn't been this close to him in a while. And he missed it. He had missed her. Even her yelling at him and bickering with him.

He wasn't sure what had prompted him, today of all days, to come down to the pitch, but if he believed in those sort of things, he might be a little grateful that the universe didn't hate him so much. Gave him this small moment of brightness. And Mae had always shone like the sun.

Then again, she was as loud as a banshee and he couldn't help but chuckle as he heard her startled exclamation. He kind of wanted to do it again just to feel her grip his hoodie like that, to swat at him as he grinned freely at her, his white teeth flashing. "What?" he asked, trying to put on an innocent look, his eyes widening slightly. "I didn't do anything," he tried before he couldn't keep back the grin as he stood and stretched his long legs, turning the broom upside down so the twigs pointed in the air, the handle in the grass.

Jae had been taking her in, the brightness in her eyes, her wind-swept hair on her shoulders, so he saw exactly when her expression changed and he watched, his brows raising in amusement as she danced and wiggled right there in front of him, being loud as usual. He didn't mind her loudness though. "You're dumb," he told her with a smile and a shake of his head, the words contrasting with his soft tone and admiring gaze. "At least you didn't throw up all over me," he added, teasing.

"You hungry?" he asked as he nodded toward her broom as a reminder before he started toward the pitch entrance, the assumption that they would go get a snack just like they did when they were kids after playing Mudditch at the forefront of his mind. He leaned his broom against his shoulder as he turned and walked backwards a few steps, his eyes finding hers. "I might starve if you walk as slow as you fly," he tossed at her before smirking.

Mae had finished her little cheer routine, her hands falling back to her side, but she still felt like dancing. Even as Jae looked at her with that look, the one she thought she had seen a hundred times but couldn't remember the last time. They hadn't hung out like this for years, just the two of them, and barely arguing. The best they did lately was when their social circles happened to overlap. Mae had missed him; she missed his stupid smile, the silly way he wore his baseball caps, and even the way he always had to be correct — not that she could relate or anything...

"I'm not dumb, your dumb," She told him, her hands hitting her hips dramatically as she looked his way. Meeting his gaze, Mae scrunched up her nose. He knew what he did, but she wasn't mad anymore, so she let it go for now. He had gotten her in the air, and honestly, that was worth a million pranks right about now. In an hour, Jae had helped her make more progress than she had done on her own in the last year. It was certainly an achievement, and she felt buzzy and energetic from the adrenaline. Bouncing a little on the balls of her feet, Mavis laughed loudly at his words. "The day isn't over yet, don't press your luck, Mr. Kim." But really, she was super relieved she hadn't thrown upon him while they were in the air. That would have been so embarassing.

Jae brought up the idea of food, and of course, the teenager was starving, so she quickly agreed. Mavis began heading in the direction of the castle but saw his nod and giggled. "Right," She said, turning around and skipping back to her broom, her hair falling almost entirely out of the loose hair tie. Black-brown pieces were falling around her face as she bent down, managing to catch the hair tie in one hand and pick up her broom with the other. Mavis looped the hair tie on her wrist and returned to Jae with her broom in hand. "I might starve if you walk as slow as you fly," She gave him a sour look, eyes narrowing before letting out a chuckle and reaching into his back pocket. She knew his baseball cap was back there; it always was.

"Who is the slow-troll now!" She hollered, placing the hat on top of her head before running a few steps ahead.

He stuck his tongue at her without thought and then straightened, glancing away, his nose in the air as if he hadn't just done it at all. As if he was above it. Still, he slid his gaze back to her. He wasn't sure when the next time she'd be looking at him like that so happy. Jae knew he was cursed and so, of course, something would inevitably happen between the two of them to ruin everything and he would be relegated to a backburned friend while she smiled and was loud with her Gryff gang. He just rolled his eyes at her idle threat and shook his head. "Not going to risk that," he told her.

Jae turned back around, facing the castle looming ahead of them, as he heard her catch up. He glanced at her again, grinning wider as she didn't like his little jab. It was always fun to see that spark in her eyes, but then her expression changed and he knew she was up to something. She was quicker than he expected and his hands came up empty as he tried to secure his hat in his pocket. As much as the fact that she had poked at his ego (he should have been quicker with his Keeper instincts), Jae didn't completely mind her wearing his hat. It looked good fitting snugly over her midnight dark waves falling around her heart-shaped face and he found himself grinning stupidly before he started chasing after her.

"I'll show you slow!" he said picking up speed, his broom bumping against his shoulder as he ran after her, his gaze intent, the competitiveness coming out in him.

Stealing Jae's hat was just part one of her plan, and Mavis was quick to zig and zag as he chased her up the lawns toward the castle. Laughing brightly, she felt like a colossal chip had been lifted off of her shoulder. She had just been flying, like up in the air, on a broom, flying, and it was a powerful feeling. Mavis had felt crippled by her fear for months now, but it fits that it had been Jae who helped pull her through it. So it wasn't just the fact that she was one flight closer to being back on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, but also that maybe (hopefuly!!) Jae and Mavis were friends again.

Ducking as he reached for the cap, Mavis's broom dragged along the soft grass, and she let it drop beside her. Jae had caught up quickly, but she wasn't surprised. He may have been a keeper, but that didn't mean he was slow. "Okay, wait!" She hollered, turning toward him, her hand stretched out with the pointer finger up. Mavis was out of breath from running and laughing; her bright smile met by red cheeks. "Wait, wait," She breathed, but she was stalling again. Buying time until she could somehow dart around him, collect her broom, and continue running toward the castle.

Mavis pushed her windswept hair from her face, ignoring the bits that stuck to the back of her neck. In a flash, Mavis tried to run past him, but she felt Jae's arms wrap around her, and she laughed loudly. "Lemme gooo!~" Even as kids, he always beat her when they played chase. Mavis was quick, but Jae was better at judging distance and anticipating her next move, skills that had helped both of them land spots on their House Teams, undoubtedly.

Mae was wily, but Jae was quick and his long legs helped him catch up quickly, even though she had abandoned her broom halfway down the hill to take an extra advantage. He still had his bumping along his shoulder. His eyes were bright, but narrowed at her, a smile playing around his lips as she turned toward him, hands up beckoning him to pause, which he did, slowly as he panted, his steps slow as he stalked toward her. He wasn't sure how it had happened, but Jae wasn't going to question how in the hell he had gotten in her good graces again. Maybe the universe wasn't completely against him. It certainly didn't feel like that when she was smiling up at him like that.

His chest rose and fell quickly too as he shook his head. "Wait for what? You want to admit you're the -- how'd you so eloquently put it? -- slow-troll?" he asked before grinning. He lowered his stance, letting his broom drop to the ground beside him as he could see her readying herself. Just like always, she favored her left and he shot out his arms to grab at her as she tried to run past him. "Not so fast," he said against her hair as he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off her feet for a moment, just to further prove the point that he had caught her and that he wasn't the 'slow-troll.' He told himself his heart was racing because of the sprint up the hill and that was all.

He plopped her back down and released her, the closeness of her making him feel off-kilter. Not that he didn't like it.. but he just didn't know how to deal with it. Jae coughed a little as he tapped his hat on her head, moving without thinking. "You're officially the slow-troll," he told her then accioed her broom with a flick of his wand, holding it out for her to take before he stooped down to get his. "Hurry up or I'm not saving you any food," he told her over his shoulder. He tried not to focus on why he hadn't even tried to get his hat back.

Feeling Jae's strong arms around her, Mavis's breath caught in her throat. She felt giddy like when they were children playing but also energized by some new feeling. Was it nerves? Or maybe the last of the adrenaline from flying. Either way, it was electric, and she loved it. The teenager giggled as he swooped her up off of the ground and then set her back down. He always had to prove his point, not that she was any different.

"Whatever you cheated," She replied, even though he hadn't, and stuck out her tongue at him even as he was doing her a kindness. Mae watched as he summoned her broom effortlessly and found herself impressed by his magic, too.

Jae tapped the hat she'd stolen, but he didn't take it back, and Mavis couldn't let herself stop to think about that gesture for too long. Jae was moving, and she was following quickly, lugging her broom over her shoulder. "If it's fish again, you won't have to; honestly, who needs to eat meat every meal?" Vegetables were most important in her mum's kitchen, but Mavis enjoyed all carbs. They walked for a moment, Jae and Mae, side by side once again, and Mavis grew silent. This was nice; she had missed him. Daring to look his way, she stared silently for a second before turning back, eyes on the grass and pushing hair behind her ear.

"Thanks for that," She motioned over her shoulder in the direction of the pitch. Mavis assumed he would understand her meaning.

"Did not," he immediately retorted then he tilted his head. "Cheated how?" he asked to set the record straight. He stuck his tongue at her in reply to her gesture, but he still wanted answers. He had won fair and square and no matter how many pretty smiles she gave him, he wasn't budging on that. Probably.

He rolled her eyes about the food comment. Honestly, he wasn't a big fan of the food at Hogwarts either. It's why he was happy to bribe the house elves into letting him use the kitchen to cook some of his favorite Korean dishes that he missed most, but he thought Mavis could be even pickier than him. "Your body needs protein so it's actually good to have with every meal," he informed her, remembering some facts he had learned during one of his jags into bioscience. "It helps you feel fuller after a mean and the protein breaks down into amino acids which are good for--" He stopped himself as he saw the look on her face and grinned with a roll of his eyes. "I'm sure they'll have your favorite bread, don't worry," he said with a nudge of his elbow.

Jae felt her gaze on him but he kept his eyes on the castle even though he really wanted to meet her gaze to see what she was thinking. But he didn't so when she said thanks, he finally did look over at her, his brows knitted together for a moment before he followed her gaze. Ah. He understood. "It was nothing," he said in reply even though he was secretly proud that she had trusted him enough to fly with him. Especially after what had happened to her. Not any of her gaggle of Gryffindors, him. He gave her a small smile, which shortly turned into a smirk, and slid his gaze to her. "Maybe next time you won't be such a chicken and you'll fly on your own broom," he teased, a gleam in his dark eyes.

“Oh, I don’t know, some sort of wizardry, I imagine.” Mavis stuck up her nose at him, digging her heels in metaphorically as she claimed he cheated. Of course, she didn’t really believe that, but that had never stopped from taking up the cause of irritating Jae just for fun. It was different now than it had been when they were children, and she was mildly aware of it, but there was still something nostalgic and comforting about teasing him. So many things had changed, but Mavis always hoped there would be things that never did. For a long time, she’d imagined they would never be friends again, and that haunted her, but today felt right. Today felt good. And Mavis felt mischievous.

Complaining about the less than stellar meal plan at Hogwarts was a popular pastime for the little witch, but she just knew Jae would have a decent argument to counter her. That was the thing about Jae, it was as impressive as annoying, but there was a subject the boy couldn’t argue academically. And if he didn’t know something, Mavis always knew he’d figured it out. She often wondered why he hadn’t wound up in Ravenclaw, but she’d learned her lesson about bringing up the housing system in front of Jae some time ago. Amino acids, proteins, feeling fuller, Mavis blinked at him and pretended to yawn before giggling. He’d seen her look, and he changed the subject. “Oh, I’m not picky; any bread will do.” Any carb, honestly, the teenager couldn’t resist.

As easy as playing around with Jae was, it had not always been this way. It was as if the two friends had been riding a rollercoaster their entire lives. Half their childhood was spent arguing and making up, and it only grew worse as they joined Hogwarts. The fact that he had taken time out of his day to help her with this was a significant gesture and one Mavis was careful not to ignore. He’d brushed her thank you off, and she appreciated that too. Jae’s smile turned slick, and Mavis just knew something smarmy was coming, and she was prepared. “Or maybe next time I’ll kick your arse in a race.” She dared, punching him in the arm and laughing again.

They had reached the castle, and in reality, she was thankful. Her muscles felt sore from tensing and the tiny bit of athletic activity they had done. It had been a while since she’d had a proper flight, Mavis was out of shape and out of practice, and she knew she’d feel it tomorrow. But it will have been worth it. “Sit with me for dinner?” She asked, sliding the hat around on her head, so it faced backward and smiling at him.

"Yeah, yeah," he told her with another roll of his yes and a scoffing sound. He knew from experience there was no use arguing with her when she was so clearly going to reject reality and substitute her own. Besides, he wasn't one to really care about winning. At least not with her. If she wanted to say she won and he cheated, it was fine with him. Not that he would tell her that. Or tell her about the fact that he considered giving her his roll from his plate if she was still hungry at dinner. That was dumb though since there were probably platters full of extra rolls.

As usual when he challenged her, he saw that spark in her eyes that reminded him of crackling fire and he twisted to avoid her punch, laughing with her. "As if you'd come close to winning. All I'd have to do is go high," he added, dancing away from any other pending punches she might try to throw as he teased her.

The castle loomed above them as he pulled open the door and he tried to fight the surprise he felt at her question. How could he say no when she was looking at him like that, his hat backwards, her dark hair escaping from her braid. And yet, it wasn't an easy yes either. He didn't want to be around all of her Gryffindor friends who didn't get him, where he would just feel like an outsider again, even if it did mean spending more time with her. And who was he to ask her to not sit with her friends. He waved her through the door and gave her a small shake of his head, but softened it with a little smile. "Don't think I want to go deaf by being around all of you loud Gryffindors," he said instead. "But how about we meet up Wednesday at the pitch to practice again. I don't think anyone has practice on Wednesdays after classes."

"Whatever," Mavis said, drawing the word out until it was a whole three syllables long and smiling up at him. She didn't think he had cheated, but it was clear that that wasn't really what mattered to either of them. Sometimes they fought just for the hell of it, but not always. Mavis's mouth dropped open when Jae found a way to tease her for being short and for being afraid to fly in the same breath, and she reached out to punch him again. He was too quick, damn his keeper skills, but she tried once more, just for good measure.

He held the door open, and Mavis skipped over the threshold and into the castle with a smile. She felt good about today, good about where she was with Jae, and that she had ridden a broom. It gave her a sort of glow as if she was on top of the world and nothing could bring her down. She had Jae; she had her friends; she had her broom; Mavis wasn't even worried about OWLs right now. And that was probably a first since the term had started. It was refreshing.

"Don't think I want to go deaf by being around all of you loud Gryffindors," Jae answered her request, and Mavis crashed again. "Oh, okay," She said quietly, obviously hurt by the fact that he had rejected her offer. While she understood her friends could be rather loud, they were her friends for a reason, she was loud, and Mavis took his words personally even though maybe she shouldn't have. Timidly, Mavis pulled the cap from her head and held it between her hands as he continued. Nervous, she'd bent the brim nearly in half by the time he'd finished, and she nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, Wednesday sounds good." But she couldn't hide her disappointment as she held Jae's hat back out to him.