[gravesend] a half written story without any ending || isaac

Don't worry about it? He had just told her something important, something real, and she told him, don't worry about it? Isaac felt blank, his face expressionless, as he tried to decide whether he should be mad, or upset, or relieved that she didn't seem to care one bit. As he wrestled with whatever he was supposed to be feeling, he felt her hand on top of his. Brown eyes darted to it, expecting her to pick up his hand and lift it off of her, but instead, she squeezed it, and he went right back to being confused. She didn't seem to care about his words, but she didn't pull his hand away either; what did it mean?

"Not prisoner," He replied, his eyes still on her hand, and he knew he should move away. To let her off the counter, to let her do whatever she wanted, and so that he could leave this dreadful party before people started shouting the countdown, but he didn't. A million thoughts blew past his mind at that moment. He considered laughing, yelling, being cruel for no reason, kissing her, leaving her there, finding someone else, and so many more things. The possibilities swirled around him, intoxicatingly until his body was moving without permission. His other hand moved to rest on her other leg, just above the knee, and he watched it. Isaac felt like he was insanely close to her and a million miles away. Like those were his hands on her thighs, his thumb running along the soft skin there, but it wasn't him doing it. He'd never felt anything like it.

The wizard found her eyes again, his breath caught in his throat, and licked his lips. Just then, the music surged; there was a bunch of shouting and the sound of someone crashing through a class cocktail table. And just like that, Isaac was pulled out of his daze. His hands slipped into the pockets of his sweater, and he stepped back from her. "Do you want another beer?" He asked, feeling awkward but putting on the performance of his life to pretend like he wasn't.

Magnolia didn’t understand what game Isaac was playing with her now but for some reason, it didn’t feel like his usual self and that bothered her a little. He wasn’t saying the usual things he said, and when he put his other hand on her, too, Magnolia wasn’t really sure if she wanted him to move anyway. She couldn’t hold his gaze for long, it felt too intense, and it sort of made her want to crawl under a rock and pretend like she hadn’t been having all of those weird thoughts about him earlier. So in a way, when the sudden noise of a crash and glass shattering made him pull away from her, she felt as if she had been brought back to planet Earth, too. And then her legs felt a little cold, she missed his hands on them. But, Magnolia wouldn’t dwell on that or at least tried not to.

“Hm,” she mulled it over playfully, trying to regain that thing they normally did when they talked to each other that didn’t feel loaded with feelings or expectations, “I dunno feels like you’ve had enough to drink,” she added. Maybe she sort of did understand why he wasn’t interested in her like that because she was a professional at making things weird, and whatever that had been several minutes ago having felt extremely out of order and yet so perfectly comfortable at the same time. Maybe she was pretty drunk, too. “Wanna go outside for a bit? Trance is so not my music, it’s making my head spin,” she asked suddenly, completely ignoring the fact that he’d asked the same thing earlier and had she gone then, maybe she would have avoided some of the awkwardness they had just experienced. But if he wasn’t going to address it, neither was she.

Not bothering to wait for a response, she jumped off the counter in one swift movement, wishing that she had pockets to stuff her hands into so that she could avoid talking about things she wanted to pretend hadn’t just happened. Magnolia only half expected him to follow her out the door, they were practically right next to it. The area was dark and enclosed, felt a little too private but much better than being inside. As soon as she spotted the swing in the far corner, she practically ran for it, not that anyone else was on the porch competing for it anyway. “Wow, I haven’t been on one of these since I was a kid,” she mused, taking a seat.   

Isaac narrowed his eyes at her, he'd barely had anything, but even if he were half in the bag, he'd drink more just because she had told him not to. He shrugged it off, planning on getting himself one whether she wanted one or not, and that was just that. Magnolia surprised him when she invited him to go outside; he figured she couldn't wait to get away from him; he remembered how mad she had been all of five minutes ago. He remembered how angry he had been and all of the things that happened in the short time between then and now, and it made him dizzy.

Taking a breath, he nodded and watched her all too closely as she hopped off the counter and made her way toward the back door. Isaac stopped at the sink again, grabbing two cans and shoving them into his sweater pockets as they walked. Pockets were useful for many things.

When they got to the porch, he watched her beeline for the swinging sofa, and he rolled his eyes. She was so strange, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to follow her. Walking after her, he stood in front of the swinging chair a moment before finally taking a seat. The beer cans in his pockets gave him an unusual shape, and one nearly fell out as he sat on the swing, and it pushed back and away from him. It was unnatural to swing while sitting on a sofa, it was weird, but if she liked it, he knew it was useless to try to get her to move. "I have never been on one of these," He told her; while it wasn't an exact muggle thing, having a porch swing wasn't exactly something the residents of Tilbury were privileged enough to enjoy. Isaac didn't even have a porch to swing onto unless the rusted out fire escape counted.

Pulling the cans from his pockets, Isaac used his feet to keep the swing from moving as he placed one on his side and cracked the other one open. "Have you got a resolution?" He asked over the brim of the can before taking a gulp.

“You’ve been missing out, these are so much fun,” she added, hoping that her tone of voice didn’t make it so obvious that she was rather happy he’d followed her outside, completely forgetting the whirlwind of emotions she had been experiencing not too long ago inside or when he had pulled her away from that guy. Magnolia didn’t really miss him that much anymore, or if she did, the whole thing didn’t feel like that big of a deal. Things felt balanced again, and she wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that they were outside and it was much quieter than it had been inside and more importantly, they were alone. It seemed that it was places and times like this where she could get him to actually talk to her like a normal person and no matter how demented it seemed, it did make her feel a little special.

Magnolia eyed the beer between them but didn’t reach for it just yet, wanting to enjoy being pleasantly buzzed a little longer before she really went for it and started saying and imagining stupid stuff. Things were better the way they were, surely this was a good proof of that. “Resolutions are dumb,” she said decisively. It was a little out of character for her, considering that the young witch often spent most of her fall term trying to figure out what she’d like to change, it was a whole thing in Witch Weekly and Magnolia, a loyal reader, had been keeping up with their latest tips and tricks on how to make and stick to resolutions that mattered.

But by the middle of winter break, she’d failed to set any of them up and had sort of decided that she didn’t want to hope things changed only to be disappointed when she ended up in the usual, hard-to-break habits she fell into a month or two into these resolutions.

“But I guess,” she said after a moment, not liking that Isaac’s negativity had rubbed off on her, “I’d like to learn something new or like, start making things happen instead of waiting for them to happen,” she added, then scoffed, the irony felt too heavy there. “Well no, not the second one, I’ve tried that one already,” she grumbled, once again remembering why she had been so upset, to begin with. She sighed softly, leaning back into the swing, her eyes on the view outside rather than the one of him beside her. “What about you? What’s your big New Year’s Resolution?”

Isaac laughed loudly, abruptly, as her proclamation caught him entirely off guard. "Seriously?" He asked, making sure he didn't hear things and laughing some more. She was the last person he expected to say something like Resolutions are dumb. Magnolia seemed like the sort who bought into all of that mumbo-jumbo, self-help, trust your zodiac, nonsense. He was still laughing, dimples and all, by the time she began to answer his question truthfully. And her responses got his interest going again.

Being nosy was something he must have learned from her because almost as soon as she'd said it, he had to know. "What did you want to make happen instead of waiting?" He asked, having plenty of assumptions, but selfishly he wanted to hear her say it out loud. Even if it had nothing to do with him, he needed to listen to it from her. When Magnolia leaned back, the entire swing shifted, and the hazardous grip he'd had on the ground with his beat-up sneaker was lost. They swung a little, crookedly at first, but eventually, the sides synchronized, and he supposed it wasn't so bad. Mostly since he was more focused on watching her, watching everything else, she looked peaceful.

"No resolutions for me," He shrugged, "No need to wish for things, I can have whatever I want," It wasn't entirely true, but maybe it was the beer or the night or her sitting next to him, but Isaac was feeling incredibly confident now. "Well, almost everything," He finished, staring at her until she turned his way, and then he'd look away again.

Magnolia didn't care for the way he was laughing at her, especially not when it seemed more like he was making fun of her rather than not believing someone like her would say something like that. Did he think she was as vapid as he made her sound sometimes? It wasn't like she had been trying to impress him all of those times that she had talked about her interests, no matter how silly. Even those things had been parts of her that she had shared with him. She frowned a little, realizing that all of this sentimentality was weird for her and probably coming from a place of intoxication where everything caused some sort of emotional response. This would be the last time she'd be drinking in this boy's company, that was a good resolution for the new year. But even as she considered that she took the beer between them and opened it, it wasn’t New Year’s just yet.

Did she want to embarrass herself further by admitting the truth? Whatever. She took hold of the liquid courage in her hand, taking a more than generous sip from the drink before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Beer was decidedly not sexy like wine was, but the party had plenty of it and after a few cans, it didn't really taste all that bad anymore, now it was sort of fizzy water. "This," she explained vaguely, waving her hand at the space between them and if it held the secret to the mysteries of her universe. "But it's never gonna happen, three times' the charm and all that," she added soon after, not really wanting to give him the time to formulate an insult. "I can take a hint too, you know," she added, laughing a little at herself and feeling slightly pathetic doing so. The entire situation did not agree with her one bit.

"Well if you want something bad enough, shouldn't be a problem," she noted. It had been something she'd heard from some adult in her life, probably her father, but it hadn't inspired anything in her at the time. Magnolia considered asking Isaac what that thing was but figured he'd say something about some girl or academics that she couldn't relate to and it would just further make her feel like her situation and her feelings weren't real. This is what she got for always trying to be that girl.

"You've got some time left to figure it out," she glanced over to the door but still saw and heard much commotion. "Probably about fifteen minutes," she added. "My resolution is to stop making resolutions, what about that?"

"Wait. What?" He asked, completely confused now that she had said this and motioned to the two of them. What was she saying? This time for what? He was so lost, and it wasn't because of the beer. Sure he'd known she was flirting with him, at times, just like he'd teased her back, but he never thought she actually meant it. On multiple occasions, she had expressly informed him that she had zero interest. And now she was saying this? "Three times, what are you talking about?" He raised an eyebrow, scouring over all of their conversations for new clues. He figured her new year's invite was one, but what were the others? For a relatively brilliant wizard, he was clueless right now.

"Yeah, you would think that," Isaac responded with a shrug. Mind still reeling from what she had said and feeling deflated, Isaac sat back in the seat. But what if the person you want thinks the wrong things about you? He couldn't help but ask himself the question and the ln roll his eyes. This was stupid. He downed half of his beer, feeling he might burp from all of the fizzes, but exhaled quietly.

Isaac smiled at her new resolution and held his beer can up toward her. "Cheers on that," he said, waiting for her to clink her beer against his.

Magnolia looked over for only a moment, sighing heavily and rolling her eyes at him instead of taking his question seriously, this really wasn’t the time for his little witty remarks, even if she did deserve them. “I said I’m over it,” she insisted, she was not over it. “The point is I got rejected, so you win or whatever,” she raised her hands, holding on to the beer in one as she signaled her defeat. Then, she took another sip of the beer. She still felt a bit miffed that unlike her, Allison had not gotten rejected but that was probably just her wishful thinking that she was somehow better than the Slytherin girl.

“I’m just saying that if you apparently can get whatever you want, why let that one thing stop you, aren’t you Slytherins supposed to be relentless anyway?” she added, shrugging it off. But now she was way too curious, “What do you want that you can’t have then?” she asked, fully expecting him to say something silly or turn it around and tell her something completely personal about himself. She obviously had done a poor job at figuring him out, as obvious by how terribly she had read whatever signs she thought there were. But it didn’t matter anyway, she was over it.

She smiled at him, moving the can closer to him and tapping it lightly against his. “Finally something we can both agree on, sounds like progress to me,” she laughed, “but this beer is bloody awful, the girls earlier got me some cocktails, those were pretty good,” she mused, the swing making her a little sleepy but she felt relaxed. At least except for that weird feeling in her chest she’d feel more obviously come tomorrow when she realized the extent of her mistake.

She shouldn’t have said anything, he was probably going to make fun of her. “So, if you’re going to tease me for having a stupid crush on you then can you like not do it in front of your friends? Feels like we’re even? Me keeping your secret, you should be able to keep mine, right?” she tried. It didn’t hurt any less, saying it out loud, but at least if she pretended that she didn’t even care anymore she wouldn’t, or something like that.

Isaac didn't like that she hadn't answered his question specifically. She just kept saying the same vague things, and he needed real answers, full sentences, and data, not this cliche nonsense. He opened his mouth to ask, but she cut him off, asking him questions instead. Part of him wanted to ignore her questions like she had his. To change the subject or say something completely off base, show her how annoying it was, but he didn't. Instead, he shrugged slowly and spoke quietly. What was it he couldn't have? "This." He motioned between them, mocking the way she had before, and then rolled his eyes. He was frustrated, but he wasn't entirely sure why.

He knew he shouldn't have said it out loud; it was too personal, too real. Things were more straightforward and better when there were no emotions involved. No connections, no assumptions, and nothing owed, that was how he wanted his life to be. This infatuation with Magnolia broke every one of his rules. Sitting up, he sighed, shaking his head when she started telling him about the drinks and assuming he was going to make fun of her. And then she used his secret against him, again, and his features darkened. Frowning, Isaac stood up abruptly from the swing, sending it back, and it slammed against the porch railing.

"Even? You keep holding that shit over me. Every time I think we are cool, you go and say something fucked like that. Every time." He was past frustrated now, he was angry again, and the one and a half beers would not cut it. "I was trying to tell you something, but fucking forget it now." Shaking his head and taking a breath, Isaac closed his eyes for a second before he began speaking again.  "I will get you a stupid girly drink; try not to fuck any strangers while I do," Rushing the insult, not wanting to let her get a word in edgewise, Isaac barely heard what he was saying. And soon enough, he was headed back into the kitchen.

What did this mean!? Magnolia scoured her brain trying to figure out if he had meant it in the same way that she had or if he was just mocking her because he knew her little secret ages ago and enjoyed dragging her along for fun. She needed a full sentence, something that she did not feel was given to her to decode with a key that she had not yet mastered. It was probably all just a game to him, these moments of pretend seriousness, too, were probably also not even real. Magnolia did not know what parts of his sentences to believe, his tone and expressions always betraying what he said. She wondered if he had ever told her anything that was true since that day on the train when he revealed that it was his mother that had been working for her family. That also frustrated her.

She should have just asked for clarification but she was too proud to ask for it so she stayed silent, trying to convince herself that it didn’t really make sense for him to reject her advances so many times just to turn around and say he wanted to be with her. That did not compute, not in the least. And then she remembered there were Allison and all the other girls she had heard about in relation to him and it assured her that there was no way he was interested in her and all of those other girls at the same time. Her shoulders fell a little, and she felt defeated. When Isaac stopped the swing abruptly, she was finally able to get out of her head and return to reality, she looked over at him, frowning a little and trying to understand what she had missed.

“What?” she asked, though quietly as he continued going on and on, she was not really listening, it was hard to listen when she was pleasantly buzzed but also involved in her thoughts. “That isn’t what I meant!” she retorted, matching his volume but not really matching the anger he seemed to have. The witch couldn’t even understand why he was so angry when she said it, and then she remembered that he only got angry because it was probably the only real thing he had told her this entire time. It was easy to get angry about things you cared about, right? “Yeah well piss off!” she said, feeling a little angrier now than she had moments earlier but probably for the wrong reasons. She sat silently for a second, trying to figure out why she was doing this to herself again when his walking out was exactly the answer she needed to hear, a resounding no to whatever ridiculous things she’d cooked up in her head. Putting the beer down on the windowsill beside her, she stood up, stopping the chair with the back of her legs before going in through the kitchen door and looking for the group of girls she had been with earlier.

It didn’t take her a long time to find them, in fact, one of them had pulled her out of the crowd as soon as she’d passed near the long line to the toilets. The girl asked her what was wrong and Magnolia took that as a cue to immediately cheer up, taking one of the two drinks the girl had in her hand, something with a little extra she had promised. Magnolia wasn’t sure how the girl planned to go to the bathroom with two drinks in her hand but realized what was happening when the other friend came back to replace her in the line, she guessed she was only saving her space. “Wanna get out of here?” the girl asked, “My friends got invited to this other party down the Thames,” she added. Magnolia was nodding before she had thought the entire thing through.

Fuck it, she decided, she’d said her piece and now she was going to pretend the consequences wouldn’t bear down on her until tomorrow.

Kicking the cabinet under the sink as he reached the kitchen, Isaac ignored the pain radiating from his toe. He dented the wooden door, but he didn't care; the teenager didn't even notice the damage. Isaac knew it was wrong to be this angry, but it wasn't just what she had said. It was what she hadn't said, it was the way she was acting, it was all the feelings he didn't want to think about, it was a culmination of everything, and it was aggravating.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm down, and ended up glaring at some witch who was giving him the stink eye instead. "Fuck off," He told her and her group before going to find wherever these frilly drinks were. There must have been a bar somewhere in this house because it wasn't in the kitchen, and before he knew it, Isaac was stomping through the living room, the den, and finally into the split-level basement. He found the place, ordered something stupid for her and something strong for himself, and then forked over way too many sickles.

Grumbling about the price, the teenager made sure to take off before anyone cared to ask how old he was; it wasn't like this was a professional establishment, but he still didn't want to risk it. In a matter of minutes, he was a little less angry, but only a little, and he was headed back to the porch to try to tell her what he so desperately wanted her to know. Isaac downed his drink before reaching the back door, leaving the empty plastic cup on the crowded counter, and pulled open the door.

She wasn't here.

Another couple was having a smoke, and some bloke passed out on the porch swing, but Magnolia was nowhere to be found. "Fucking hell," He nearly threw her drink at the poor wizard sleeping it off but instead turned on his heel. Where was she? Searching the house for what felt like ten minutes, Isaac started to worry. What if that prick from earlier decided he didn't care how old she was? What if he decided he had a thing for school girls. Not even deep breaths could calm him down now. Stalking through the front room, the wizard felt a little better when his eyes found the wizard she'd been with earlier, but only just.

And then he saw her through the front window. She was stumbling through the soggy grass with a group of equally drunk witches. Isaac spilled half of her drink as he barrelled out of the front door, nearly knocking a wizard off the front porch as he descended the stairs two at a time and finally reached her. "Are you serious right now?  Were you going to leave? Just like that?"

Magnolia was linked arm and arm with one of the girls, the blonde one that had said she had just quit her job at the Ministry and was in the middle of a fourth-life-crisis or something like that but the girl couldn’t even begin to relate, she couldn’t even finish her homework on time much less handle a full-time job. In fact, the girl had absolutely no idea what she’d do after graduation, two years felt too far away to think about and she had too many problems in her life right now to give the future any thought. Well one very big problem that had practically stomped off nowhere to be seen again. She was grateful the girls had not just disappeared in the time she had wasted trying to tell Isaac she liked him, or she would really have to go home alone.

In all honesty, the girl did not really want to be alone anymore, not on the verge of the new year when she had just sort of told her crush she liked him, and he had walked off. She was not ready for the alcohol to wear off just yet and was certainly not trying to get yelled at if she stumbled into her house well past curfew. She had told her dad that she would be staying with Mavis for the night but had not really checked in with her best friend in case her father decided to verify the information. He had not seemed to really care but one never knew with him. Either way, if she came home now, he would know for certain she wasn’t with Mavis and probably ground her for the rest of her life. Magnolia realized that she would have to come clean to Mavis soon, especially now that she really needed someone to talk to about him.

And just as she had thought about it, there he was, once again, wasting her time. Speak of the devil.

“What?” she frowned at him, holding on to her new-found friend a little tighter, the girl tried to interject and ask who the hell he thought he was or something like that but Magnolia was just focused on Isaac, and angry that he’d even show up again after what he had just pulled. “We aren’t here together, you’ve made that perfectly clear, you said what you needed to say and stomped off to Merlin knows where and left me there so what the actual fuck, Isaac!” it was supposed to be a question but Magnolia was not in the mood for an answer anymore.

It was hard to get over someone when they were constantly in her face. She finally let go of the girl, who wandered off to sidebar with her friends about the situation or drink some more, or whatever. Crossing her arms across her chest because she was equal parts angry and cold, she stood her ground.

“My job isn’t to entertain you, I’m leaving now and I’m not going to let you stop—” she started but was suddenly interrupted by the sound of applause and cheering, signaling the start of the new year. This was a terrible way to start the new year. This was absolutely great. “Whatever, Isaac, I’m not drunk enough for this right now,” she decided. Even getting yelled at and grounded for life was better than this.

"I went to get you a fucking drink," Isaac shot back at her, ignoring her stupid snarky friends and nearly everything that she had said, "As I told you I was going to." He felt like he had the upper hand on this part of the argument. But then again, Isaac always thought he had the upper hand, especially where she was concerned. He was learning quickly that he was very wrong.

Magnolia had done something to him, something he didn't like. He wanted to be around her, wanted to know what she was thinking, and if she was having fun. The wizard couldn't stand the idea of her leaving the party with another guy, but he hadn't wanted to come with her explicitly, either. It was frustrating.

The other girls walked away, and Isaac was thankful for that, but Magnolia's words brought him right back down. He would stop her; he knew he would, but then he heard the sounds. The new year, they had missed it, and he didn't care, but he felt like she probably did. Isaac didn't buy into the New Years' thing or any holiday type of nonsense, but she was far more whimsical than he was. Hopeful even, and there was the tiniest bit of guilt that he had ruined the moment for her.

He held out the drink for her, shoved it toward her really, and set his jaw. "Get drunker then," Isaac said sharply, "Maybe then you can stop being such a bit.." He stopped himself; he was just drunk enough not to say it, even though he wanted to. 

Her eyes traveled to the cup in his hand, frowning a little at the fact that it sort of proved his statement. In theory, this would have been the perfect time for her to apologize for just leaving without saying anything and for them to shake on it, but that ending did not seem to fit this scenario at all. Most importantly, Magnolia was still too upset with him to just so easily offer an olive branch. To make matters worse, being angry at him for abandoning her had been a good cover for the real reason why she was upset and without it, she felt vulnerable and exposed in a way she did not care for. “Yeah, in the middle of a fucking conversation, so don’t act like you didn’t just take off!” she yelled. Magnolia really hated yelling, it didn’t feel like her at all, but she couldn’t really bury her anger around Isaac, he brought it out of her without ever really trying.

So, when he shoved the drink in her face, she turned away from him, not remotely interested in giving him something else to hold over her. It had nothing to do with what was in the cup but rather what it would symbolize should she choose to accept it. Her new year had already been ruined regardless and taking it would only mean that she was allowing these feelings of whatever this shit was to follow her into two-thousand and four.

Magnolia knew what he was going to say, in her mind wanted to challenge him to say it but decided against it. “No, thanks,” she said instead, her eyes focused on the cup instead of him. Magnolia did not want to look at him anymore. Sighing heavily, she ran a hand through her hair, looking over at the group of girls that stood nearby. Everything felt in the way all of a sudden.

The teenage witch walked closer to the group of girls, explaining that she would have to catch them later because she was in the middle of something. The girls did not hesitate to insist, in fact, they seemed relieved that they could finally get going and disappeared without a second glance. “I…” she started, taking a breath before she let her anger get the best of her again, this would be a better year. “Should probably go home now,” she announced though she figured he didn’t even care.

"No, thanks," It wasn't rational, but these two simple words felt like an insult wrapped in a betrayal to Isaac. Like she had cut him in half with minimal effort and had taken his anger with him. No thanks, the words echoed in his mind as she turned away from him and went back to her friends. He thought she was going to leave for real this time, to take off with the drunk witches, and he'd have no idea where they apparated to.

A flicker of worry replaced whatever anger had been driving him to be so cruel to him less than a minute ago, and he hated this new feeling even more than the last. He sighed, his shoulders falling as he watched Magnolia walk toward them, but was surprised when she didn't go with them.

He took it as a good sign, even though every ounce of her body language was screaming something else, and Isaac dropped the half spilled pink drink on the grass next to him. "Do you have to?" He asked softly, suddenly feeling like there was a massive amount of space between them like they were on different sides of the planet, but he didn't have the energy to shout across the area.

He swallowed, his throat hoarse and dry from the straight whiskey he had downed and from yelling at her, and spoke again. "I will stop being mean to you if you want to stay?" Isaac bargained with her, it was a silly thing to say, but he meant it. Saying it was easier than actually following through, though, and Isaac had never been very good at keeping his mouth in check.