a little bit scandalous, but baby don't let them see it;; ben

He almost let his fingers brush up against her pink cheeks. Almost. She looked bloody lovely like this, though. Hair a riotous mess, cheeks flushed, and her focus solely on him. It made something a lot like feelings expand and furrow in his lungs, made his ribs ache. It was all he could do not to blurt something he couldn’t take back. Not to act on things he couldn’t make sense of. They’d know each other a long time, now. He’d just spent as much time with her as he had this last year. He just wasn’t... she was-

“You usually do.” he mused, eyeing her curiously. It was interesting thing to find, in a fellow Slytherin. Orlaith was just ... herself around him. She didn’t try anything too underhanded and when she did it was usually a small endearing thing. What was more is that she trusted him. It was ... difficult to describe, that. It made him feel appreciative like he could afford to be himself, too. What really made an impact was that, well, he trusted her too. He knew she had Slytherin instincts, he wasn’t an idiot, but he also knew she was essentially harmless to him. Merlin most of the time he felt like she promoted his interests, too.

These sudden realizations were a lot right now though. Not the right thing to focus on when they were so close and her hands felt so nice.

“Thats fine.” He honestly did not care who came with them, so long as he got to spend some time with Orli over the holidays. “Yes. My parents have something of a tradition when it comes to my birthday since I’m usually at Hogwarts by then. Not sure what they have planned exactly, it’s usually something different, but I’d like it if you came.” Her agreement made him smile, dimples and all, before her next words registered.

“Tempus.” he cast, flickering his wrist outward as his wand materialized. “Hell we should probably start getting ready for class.” He said regretfully. He could already tell the only thing he’d have on his mind was his year mate. He’d probably need a lot more flying time than usual to clear his head enough to study for finals examinations. Worth it, though. “I’ll see you for diner yea? Save you a seat.” He said, disengaging and standing up. His cat was less than pleased, well join the club bud. It was ridiculous because all he wanted to do was get back onto the couch with her and snuggle all day instead.

Quietly, for a moment, Orlaith's thoughts stopped to consider what Ben was saying to her by telling her she usually believed him. Was he saying that it was a bad thing for her to believe him? That didn't make sense though, who on Earth could call themselves a Slytherin and have a habit of making it transparent that they were untrustworthy? Oh the blonde could not even begin to describe how much she wanted to pick apart that gorgeous brunette head of his and understand just what he meant when he said certain things. It was maddening! Then again, it often was for a girl like Orlaith, who was indeed fairly straightforward in her relationships. She liked to know where she stood, and was known for seeking clarification when she didn't know where she stood with people... or, well, people that didn't especially matter anyway. That was the problem here. Ben mattered.

So, much like the blushing, Orlaith committed herself to pretending the comment didn't happen and, like many suspicious thoughts before it, hoping that said thoughts would just go away through her continued pretending. She wasn't going to seek clarification because that ran the risk of Ben asserting that he didn't like her-- and she felt like such a pathetic boy-crazed teen for thinking it, but the thought of him doing that.. hurt. Orlaith Dewar was also known for prioritising self-preservation; that was what was going on here. Even if her current self-preservation tactics were centred around ensuring a boy liked her so her little sixteen-year-old heart didn't smash into pieces-- Godric she really was turning into Sinead. The Slytherin really needed to do much better than this.

It was just really difficult to remember to do better when Ben's freshly-showered smell wafted up her nose, and they were snuggled - not as close as before, but close enough for it to have an effect - and then her house mate further confused her by saying things like that. He, Benjamin Danvers, wanted her to come to his party, her especially and in particular? Crushes aside that was one hell of an achievement from a Dewar. They weren't well-known enough to warrant such attention from the likes of a Danvers.

Unless she was reading too much into it...

Just like that, Orlaith realised it was officially time for her to seek out her best friend, offload, and have some help making sense of the situation, before her paranoid thoughts got the best of her and ruined... everything. There was a simple way of knowing if Ben was just being... polite, curteous... something along those lines, or if he actually was paying special attention to her. Finding out how big the party was. She didn't need to scare herself with unsavoury thoughts.  "Is it..." Orlaith began, wondering if this was really a question that she wanted an answer to. "..Is it likely to be a big party, you think?" the blonde asked tentatively, unable to stop herself edging towards the edge of the seat in anticipation of the answer. "I mean.. I don't want to wear a gown if it's more... more like a party dress situation?" Orlaith continued, injecting an innocent tone into her questions as she realised Ben probably neither knew nor cared what the difference was between a gown and a party dress. And, as a matter of fact, there used to be a time when Orlaith was the same.

Ben confirmed, it was time for them to make a move. Balthazar confirmed, in his feline way, the feelings of all in the room, even though the humans had to be a bit more diplomatic about it. "Yes, see you for dinner... if not before." Orlaith smiled, mentally kicking herself for how flirty that sounded. In her head, what she had meant was that she hoped to run into Ben in class. However, partially because her mind was on a crazy, paranoid, hormone induced rollercoaster where it was trying to pick apart what Ben had said versus what Ben had meant, Orlaith felt her tone had steered off more in the direction of dark corners and cheeky kisses more than she had meant it to. "...Bye." came the awkward answer after, as the blonde quickly reached for her gym bag and headed towards the girls dormitories. Best friend and ranting was needed as soon as possible.

fin

It would occur to him, at a much later point, that the singular thing expanding his chest was a lot like longing. An emotion, he would muse upon later, he had very little exposure to. The more he denied it, the more he seemed to want. It was maddening, awful, painful, wonderful... Bloody hell he was inner monologuing like a bloody girl and this had to stop, didn't it? Before he went and did something disasterously poetic. It was difficult to stop the affection when the object of said affection was just so, well, lovely really. It was the only word to describe her in his head. Just really... lovely.

"Not this year." he said carefully, his blue gaze focused on the girls face quite intensely. He wasn't sure why she'd asked but he wanted to make sure she understood what he was saying, sort of. His family quite liked to throw extravagant parties, well, his mother liked to throw extravagant parties. It was a Layton thing, he figured, because his father was quite content to not, most of the time. But while most years his mother was determined to throw something extravagant and nauseatingly social this year would mark the last party before his majority. Which meant, of course, something quite a bit smaller but no less grand. The guest list impossibly more exclusive. He just wanted the people he liked the most to be there.

That list included Orlaith Dewar.

"I would go with a gown." he admitted sheepishly. It was better to dress up for one of these things than to show up out of place. He liked to dress nice usually but, then, males tended to get away with a lot when it came to outfits. "Yea I'll... see you." regret was a terrible thing, wasn't it? He had to cling to his reasoning, though. He could have Orli as a friend, but that meant looking out for her best interests. Dating him wouldn't be in her best interests because he did not know how to take care of precious, important things the way he should.

If he told himself that at some point it would sink in and his pathetic longing would cease.

fin