[library] we've been living on a fault line { wini/phillip }

"You'll never guess what Winifred got up to today," The words had a sort of mystery to them that made Phillip want to punch something. The teenager looked from Marin back to Winifred and grew even more paranoid because she had said Marin's name. What had Winifred done? "So I ran into Billie today in the bathroom, and we just chatted a little. It wasn't a big deal."

Indeed this was some sick joke, right? Or he'd fallen asleep again during Arithmancy, and this was just some nightmare he'd wake up from. Phillip blinked twice, half waiting for someone to say something or his quill to fall out of his hand, anything to wake him up, but that never came. A moment passed by, and then another before Phillip finally said something. And he was too far past being calm for his volume to be appropriate in the library. He wasn't screaming, but he certainly wasn't whispering.

"You did what?" He asked but continued before she could answer. "Winifred, why would you go and talk to her? How can you say it wasn't a big deal? What the fuck." Stringing together more words than he had probably said to the pair of them all month, Phillip felt exasperated in no time. He huffed, his hands curled into fists on either side of him, and felt like he could scream at the both of them until graduation. Sure, maybe someday he'd know that Wini did it for the right reasons, but right now, it felt like another betrayal in a long line of them, and Phillip was mad.

Marin could feel Wini’s eyes boring a hole into the side of his head, but he kept his own firmly fixed on the paper in front of him. It was impossible to focus, though, and he found himself noting what felt more like buzzwords than actual notes. Base metal transmutation. Eighteenth century breakthroughs in alchemic processes in the Middle East. Chrysopoeia. Chrysopeia? C-h-r — No, he had it right the first time. Chrysopoeia, Marin wrote, his writing small and neat and not taking up much space on the page, much like he didn’t want to be taking up much space in this conversation —

Not a big deal? Marin raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. Lip must have felt the same, even though he wasn’t there for the conversation, only he did say something. What the fuck? Fair, honestly. Lip was right, to be mad, Marin thought. He was on the Ravenclaw’s side, sort of; Wini’s “chatted a bit” had also been “said it was her fault” and “made her cry”, not that he was particularly inclined to offer those details now that Lip was so angry.

But... then again, that was just what Wini did, he thought. So on the other hand it was sort of Lip’s fault for having a girlfriend and a dramatic(?) breakup in the first place. Hmm.

Being casually disinterested in everything was more Lionel's thing than Marin's, though he found it so much less exhausting when he didn't feel like he had to react expressively to every little thing. He just didn't like moving his face that much! He just didn't always know what to say! He could feel his cheeks were a little warm though, probably just from the tension. A part of him wanted to shush Lip (he wasn't shouting, but he was drawing attention), but he didn't think that would go over well right now.

Wini frowned as Lip questioned her, his voice louder than usual. Harsher. She didn't like it, not one bit. This coming after Marin effectively threw her under the Knight Bus? What was it with these two boys today? The curse word at the end of his little attack surprised her and warning bells went off. She felt off-kilter. like she didn't know what to say to defuse the bomb that her Ravenclaw friend had become.

She knew how mad he could get, but he usually wasn't this mad at her.

The blonde felt a need to go on defensive rise within her, especially since Marin clearly wasn't on her side in this. She still couldn't believe that little betrayal, but considering Lip was about to go nuclear grumpy, it's not like she had any choice but to deal with him first. She crossed her arms in front of her as she frowned up at him. "I didn't go talk to her. She was in the bathroom and so was I." Sort of. "What was I supposed to do ignore her? And besides, it's not like you were going to tell me anything that happened so why not ask her?"

Whoops. She blushed as that little confession came out. She hadn't exactly meant to say that. She really hadn't gone in there trying to interrogate his ex, had she? Well... shoot. Still! She was looking out for him. Why couldn't he see that? Wini's guilt fought for purchase against her need to not be in the wrong here and so she just lamely repeated, "It wasn't a big deal" as if saying it again would convince him somehow.

"No, Winifred, it is a big deal," Phillip countered immediately, latching on to those words as if she'd said that before anything else or nothing else at all. It was a massive deal in Phillip's mind, gigantic, colossal; Winifred talking to Billie broke some unspoken code. It was like some new level of betrayal, and Phillip hadn't been expecting it from Wini.

Gritting his teeth as he yanked one of the empty chairs out from the table, Phillip sat down. He pulled it closer to the table, but he wasn't quiet about it, and then Phillip spoke again. "How can you not understand how big of a deal it is? We broke up, so you going to talk to her is weird," It was ninety percent because Phillip didn't like the idea as a whole, but ten percent because Winifred was his friend, and he didn't want her to talk to Billie and switch sides. Of course, he was worried about that even though he firmly felt like he hadn't been the cause of the breakup. It didn't matter though, Phillip knew more than most how good or bad; the details rarely mattered.

The Ravenclaw's cheeks felt red hot, and it stretched toward his ears, but he tried to calm down. If nothing else, because the Head Boy gave him a passive-aggressive look that Phillip was pretty sure meant "be quieter." He was silent for a moment before he looked at Winifred again, quieter but aggravated.

"Well, what did she say?"

"It's only a big deal if you make it one, Phillip," she replied back just as quick as he had, almost feeling the need to stand and give her a few extra inches so he wasn't towering over her but thankfully, he sat down - banging the chair about of course - but at least he was sitting. Wini half-turned back to her books in front of her, staring at the page with unseeing eyes as she fumed at her two best friends, but also hoping that this would all blow over. She could feel the tension rolling off the Ravenclaw and it made her tense.

His voice was a little quieter this time, but somehow that was even worse. Like he was disappointed with her and she frowned at him. "I can talk to whoever I want to," she said automatically before she stopped herself. That hadn't come out like she wanted so she tried again. "What I mean is that it's not weird. I was just asking how she was doing," she said with a glance down at her books, her voice getting a little quieter with the lie, sneaking a glance at Marin and hoping he didn't throw her under another bus.

She almost wanted to avoid his gaze even as he felt him looking at her so she busied herself with flipping through her book, pretending to look for something. His question made her squirm and she gave him a shrug, trying to be casual. "I asked how she was doing and asked her what happened - and before you get mad at me for asking, it's not like you have told me anything -- and besides she didn't tell me anything anyway. Said she didn't want to talk to me about it," Wini said, continuing to mutter complaints under her breath about why no one wanted to talk to anymore apparently.

Then another piece of their conversation appeared in her mind and she turned toward him. "She said she didn't cheat with that Gryffindor boy," she volunteered, hoping it would make him feel better. It was a rumor she had heard and she wondered if that had been the cause of the break up so maybe if that was the reason, her meddling might have done some good? She was hopeful that this would all blow over and soon.

Over the years, Phillip and Winifred had had their fair share of arguments. Bickering about assignments, and social plans, and about Phillip’s absolute lack of interest in pop culture, but they had only ever had a few all-out fights, and the Ravenclaw felt like this was going to be one of them. He felt it brewing, like electricity in the air or a cauldron about to boil over.

Phillip moved around in his seat so that he was facing Winifred only, and his knee bounced with agitation under the table. Winifred had said she could talk to whoever she wanted to, and Phillip wanted to say something in return, but he had nothing. He knew that she could and that she would, but he just wished it had been someone else. Anyone else, and not Billie.

“Why did you think she would?” He said quickly, in between Winifred’s words, and starred at her. Did Winifred believe that if Phillip wouldn’t tell her what had happened, that Billie would? Because they were such close friends after what? Having ice cream in Diagon Alley one time? He sighed, but it was more have an aggravated exhale, and then she hit him with another tidbit of information. And Phillip wasn’t ready for it.

He stilled, his green eyes still on her, but he was so far away now. Phillip could hear the blood rushing in his ears and the hotness on his face, and he sunk into his chair. “Good to know,” he said softly, feeling defeated and even more paranoid than before. Phillip had his suspicions, but he’d been able to tell himself they were just that. Phillip Donnelly was suspicious of everyone and everything, but knowing that other people had wondered about Billie and Killian, too, was like a punch to the gut.

Wini could hear his leg bouncing under the table and she knew if she looked up from the book she was pretending to read that she would see that look in his eyes - the one that made her want to find something else to do and quickly, far away from him. But maybe, she hoped, it wouldn't be like one of their big fights.

"Well, I had to try, didn't I," she told him just as quickly as he had asked, her eyes widening to give him an obvious look. She didn't like the way he was staring at her so she started chattering again like she usually did when she got nervous. "It's not like you were telling me anything about what happened and I thought maybe if I knew, I could figure out how to help you. I'm your friend, Lip. Friends are supposed to share with each other."

Why she needed to explain this very basic definition of friendship was beyond her, but it felt like more than that too. She felt close to him, willing to share some of the tough stuff she was going through, always welcoming him into her, well William's, home, but he didn't even want to tell her the reason behind his sudden break up with his girlfriend? It didn't add up.

She flipped a few more pages in the book unnecessarily, not even knowing what she was looking for, but she saw him out of the corner of her eyes slink further into his chair, acting like the Prince of Doom as usual. "Don't act like that," she scolded him, his broodiness not really the reaction she wanted. "That's good news, isn't it? Was that the reason you broke up with her?" she asked, still fishing for answers.

 Winifred kept throwing that word out there, friend, as if it would cut through Phillip and make him realize she was right all along, but all it did was make him angrier. In Phillip's world, a friend would never go behind his back and do something like this. A friend would have left it alone and waited for him to want to talk about it. A friend wouldn't have tried to hide it and then turn it around on him when it came out in the open. Phillip's jaw clenched a bit tighter as she continued, and he watched his friend silently.

Phillip had spent years not wanting to be around anyone. The teenager spent half his time at Hogwarts avoiding social situations because he didn't like people, and the other half convincing himself people wouldn't like him back. And for years, he'd been fine, and then things had started to change, and now he was in the middle of an enormous mess. He lost his girlfriend, his best friend was mad at him, and Marin was silent. And now he had to worry about Billie having cheated on him, too, as if the list wasn't long enough already.

"No, it's not," Phillip answered through gritted teeth and sank further into his seat. He wasn't going to tell Winifred what had happened, Phillip had made a promise to Billie, and he planned to keep it. Even though he was still mad at her, Phillip wouldn't betray her even if he wasn't sure she deserved it. And he hated that it put him at odds with the few friends he had left. As if he hadn't already sacrificed enough, now he was going to lose Winifred too?

"Can't you just drop it?"

Wini thought if he slunk down any further into his chair, he would slid right out of it. Well, go right ahead, tough guy, she urged silently as she looked at him, her brows drawn together, her lips pressed together in a thin line. How was it not good news that Billie allegedly hadn't cheated on him? Or did he know something she didn't?

Of course, he did but it wasn't like he was going to tell her. She knew that stubborn look on his face and she clenched her jaw at his request. "Sure, fine, we'll drop it," the Hufflepuff agreed easily even though it was more of a 'drop it for now and harass you about it later' sort of promise and not a 'drop it for eternity' agreement.

She flipped a few more pages in her book, reading with unseeing eyes, as the tense silence stretched on uncomfortably before she broke that with a snap of her book. "I forgot I have rounds to do," she made up the excuse on the spot as she shoved her books into her bag haphazardly and threw the strap over her shoulder. If Lip didn't want to tell her anything, didn't feel like she was worthy or capable of being trusted then fine, she didn't want to sit here in awkward silence anymore. "I'll see you at dinner," she said to Marin begrudgingly, still irked at him too for throwing her under the bus.

Boys, she huffed with a roll of her eyes as she hurried out of there and away from the two dark clouds that were Marin and Lip.

/end

Phillip had asked her to drop it, and he supposed he should have been relieved when she did, but he didn't feel better when Winifred slammed her book shut and declared she had other things to do. It felt unresolved, and Phillip hated unfinished business. Even more than that, he hated lying to his friends. It wasn't fair that he was keeping Billie's secrets now, keeping the very secrets she'd hid from him, the reason why they had broken up. It didn't seem right, and it made him uncomfortable, and Phillip had never felt so miserable in his life.

"Okay," he said, but Phillip did not move to pack up his things. Winifred intended to leave first, and he was not going to rush to get out of the library first. Instead, he continued to slump in his chair and began staring out the window of the library. He assumed Marin would leave not long after Winifred, or maybe he'd keep studying in silence, and Phillip didn't have anywhere better to be.

/end