[hampstead] this ain’t a heartbreak anthem

Joon hollered up the steps and normally Jae would ignore him unless he came stomping into their shared room (or at least now shared only during holiday and summer breaks), but his brother’s announcement had him moving much quicker than normal.

Your little friend is here.

Of course, his brother gave him a smirk as Jae passed him on the stairs and Jae gave him a little shove in response. Which Joon retaliated with a swift kick to his leg, making him trip. He made a mental note to pay his brother back, but for now he wanted to know why a certain Gryffindor, the only ‘friend’ he expected to show up on his doorstep, was here in the first place.

It felt like they hadn’t spoken much since he had found out about her and Buckley. And finding out the way he had made it that much worse. Felt as if someone was slapping him in the face on top of the worst sunburn he’d ever had. Or something worse than that. Like getting kicked in the nuts after being told your pet was dead. Whatever. Either way, he had avoided her on the train back for spring break and anytime he’d seen her on their block, he had pretended not to hear her call his name or had avoided her altogether. He wasn’t even sure if she’d seen his new look, his dark black hair now dyed blonde. Jae wasn’t even sure why he wanted the change but it had felt necessary in the moment.

“What are you doing here,” he said as he leaned against the door jamb and tried not to touch his hair subconsciously. He didn’t care what she thought, he told himself. Or didn’t care to wonder if she’d even notice. “Shouldn’t you be with your boyfriend or something?”

@Mavis Nandamuri

Jae had been ignoring her since they had come home from Hogwarts, no, for even longer than that, and while Mavis would have generally jumped on him for it a lot sooner, she had been quite distracted. It was her first break with an Official Boyfriend, so there had been lots to do. Shopping with Magnolia, letters to Killian, and helping Billie plan a party! She should have been more in tune with whatever was going on with Jae, that was what a good friend would have done, but sometimes she wondered if they even were good friends anymore. She knew that she missed the way things had been when they were kids, and it was just them in their little made-up world, but that could not have gone on forever.

In a way, they lucked out that Jae was a muggle-born, and when their friendship should have continued into Hogwarts, it had stopped for a while. They barely spoke for years save a few arguments inside and out of lessons, but then things started to get better. Jae was even helping her with her flying problems! Honestly, Mavis thought things were looking up, and then he started avoiding her, and she was clueless as to why.

And she was annoyed.

She rode her sister’s bike to Jae’s grandmother’s house and nearly let herself in, but that was something Mavis would have done five years ago when she practically lived here part-time. So instead, she knocked and followed Joon up the stairs to the room he shared with Jae. Mavis hadn’t been up here in a while, and she looked around the landing for changes as Joon announced her arrival. The Gryffindor gave Jae’s brother a snotty look as he passed by her on the stairs and then turned to Jae—the snotty face carried over to him too.

“What do you mean what am I doing here? I’m looking for you.” She folded her arms across her chest, and her glittery backpack fell off of her shoulder. It hung haphazardly in the crook of her arm, and her cardigan wasn’t far behind, dangling off her shoulder and threatening to take the strap of her tank top with it. She was in a hurry, her hair was only half curled, and Mavis was pretty sure she’d packed the wrong slippers for her sleepover at Billie’s. “I’ve been—” Shouldn’t you be with your boyfriend or something?” He asked, and Mavis’s mouth slammed shut.

“Where do you think I’m going?” She responded, answering his question with another question on purpose. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all week. Do you want a ride to Billie’s house?” She was careful not to use the word Party, just in case Jae’s grandmother was lurking close by. “Michael and Cordelia are waiting at my house, so like, what is going on?”

"Why?" he asked sullenly as she said she was looking for him, getting distracted by the fact that her strap to her tank top was hanging down, showing her bare shoulder. Well that and the fact that she looked kind of a mess. Her hair half curled, half not, her backpack that you could probably spot from space half zipped, curiously wondering if that's what she was wearing to the party. Not that he cared. He wasn't even going to go. Probably.

Jae saw her expression changed and it kicked something off within him, something twisted and angry and petulant. The familiar cycle of their fighting felt eminent. But he was quick to shush her, cutting her off as he pulled her by the forearm into his room and toed the door closed, but not shut. His mum had rules about doors being closed, but he didn't want anyone overhearing their little chat. "You mean Isaac's?" he said loudly in case anyone heard as he glanced down the hall then turned to her with an accusing look. He hadn't told his parents that he was going to Billie's, a girl's house for a party. He had mentioned hanging out with Isaac at his house with parent supervision and having to tell his mum multiple times that no, she couldn't call and check in because they were wizards and didn't have phones. She didn't seem too keen on the whole owl idea which Jae gave as the only alternative to the communication problem. He knew very well that owls seemed like too much of a threat to her very clean carpets.

"I don't need a ride," he hissed at her as he crossed his arms in front of him. "I don't even know if I'm going to go so why do you care." He didn't know if he even wanted to know the answer to that and considering she hadn't even noticed his hair and hadn't really made an attempt to talk to him since they had been out of Hogwarts, he was sure he was not even something in her scope anymore. Guess that's what happened when you got a new boyfriend or new friends in general. He was used to this cycle and yet still upset about it.

“Why?” Mavis repeated the word and settled into her defensive stance. Arms crossed, hip pushed out to one side; it was the one she typically had while conversated with this particular Hufflepuff. It was as if Jae lived to press her buttons, but it wasn’t like Mavis went out of her way to avoid pushing his either. Since they were children, this was the way things had worked. Either they were two thousand percent on the same page, freakily in agreement on something, or they were on absolute different ends of the world. There was no comfortable middle ground; there was no cushion and no soft landing.

Mavis smacked at Jae’s hand as he pulled her by the arm into his room, huffing as he shut the door. The Gryffindor spun around quickly to face him as he spoke louder than was needed. Oh, whoops. In about two seconds flat, Mavis wasn’t mad about him dragging her across the room because she felt bad for almost spilling the beans. “Sorry,” She mouthed, barely a whisper, but the grace he’d bought was short-lived.

“Why wouldn’t you go? Are you serious right now, Jae?” Mavis asked her whispered apology run over by waves of animosity as she glared at him again. Why did he have to be this way? Why couldn’t things be easy? “No, you have to come; everyone is going to be there.” As soon as the words left her lips, Mavis tilted her head back and sighed. She knew Jae didn’t care about what everyone was doing, and most days, she envied that, but today it just annoyed her. Mavis also knew he’d have something clever to say back; Jae always did.

And there it was. That stubborn look that he knew all too well. His brows dipped lower in response and he felt his chin sticking out a bit. He glared at her as she smacked his hand, lightly batting hers away, tit for tat, before seeing her expression change. For a moment, he felt a reprieve and a hint of smile almost threatened to appear before he just rolled his eyes at her apology.

And then it was gone.

"Yeah, maybe I am," he said in reply to her asking if he was serious. Serious as a heart attack. Why did he need to go to some dumb party. He didn't care if everyone-- Why was she always saying things that he was thinking. Even if she got it wrong. At least, it gave him perfect opportunity to counter her. "You know as well as I do that I don't care what everyone else is doing. You should try it sometime," he threw back at her, familiar anger and irritation returning quickly, set up by her glaring up at him.

"Go on, go hang out with your other Gryffindor friends," he told her in the next second, nodding toward the door as he crossed his arms in front of him. He didn't need her pitying invitation to go to a party he didn't even want to go to in the first place. Some misguided attempt at including him just so she could say she invited him even though they both knew full well she'd be too busy with her 'real' friends at the party. Joke was on him, he guessed, that he would ever fit in with that crowd.

Mavis had only been here three minutes, and she had already had just about enough of Jae's nonsense. It was either because she had been dealing with her whole life or because she hadn't finished her hair yet, and Mavis was so anxious about it. Unfortunately for the girl who wished she was a little less shallow, it was probably the latter.

Arms folded over her chest; Mavis starred at him with her nose scrunched. "I am going to go and hang out with my friends, whether you want to be a loner and stay home or not. What I am asking is if you will get off your high hippogriff and come with us." Mavis had a delicate (a.k.a. chaotic) way of telling him she wanted him to go and to insult him simultaneously. It was not a great tactic, but the teenager was pressed for time.

"Unless you are worried one of your other friends will see  you there?" Mavis knew Jae had friends in his house and even in Slytherin, but hell if she knew their names. She would learn them one day when Jae stopped being antisocial and started bringing them around. And that (!!) was exactly what tonight was about. Mavis sucked in a breath, shoulders raising, and then dropped her book bag dramatically.

“Come on Jae, just come with us, please?”

Jae frowned at the accusation of being a 'loner' and glared at her. He wasn't on his 'high hippogriff' at all and she was probably only inviting him out of pity or something? He didn't need that. It's not like she cared what he thought anyway. That much was very, very clear. He didn't even know why she had come over here to begin with.

But her question to him made his brow furrow in both confusion and cynicism. "Worry about who?" he asked, scoffing at the idea even though it had been something that crossed his mind. Going or not going, he had already thought through what both would look like to others. He hated both outcomes really. "What do I care what they would think?" he said, not knowing exactly who she was referring to but shooting down the idea either way in the casual disinterest he wanted to promote for himself when it came to social dynamics.

The fifth year eyed her with a sigh and like some memory that slid in from the past, he knew exactly what she was going to do with she sucked in a long breath like that. He almost made him smile.

Her sparkly pink bag landed between them, broken zipper and all, and she made her grand declaration and for a brief moment, he felt this glorious rush of something that felt good and strong and powerful. Like her asking him gave him some kind of power over her. It was kind of nice to have the reprieve of feeling like he was out of control the past couple of weeks. Jae, leaned back on the edge of his bed, his long legs stretched out in front of him as he considered.

He wanted to say lots of things, wanted to say yes just to maybe see her smile, wanted to say no just to irritate her, but what he ended up asking was a question. "Why do you care anyway?" he grumbled, glancing at his feet.

"I don't know; I forgot you don't care what anyone thinks because apparently, you are the one student at Hogwarts who was born without anxiety." It wasn't true, and Mavis knew it; Jae worried about things plenty, but he seemed immune to gossip for whatever reason. On the other hand, she wasn't quite as thick-skinned, but not for lack of trying. The teenager wanted people to like her. Was that so wrong? She liked having friends, again; where was the problem with that?

Her bookbag landed dramatically on the floor, the sparkles catching some of the light from the lamp on Jae's ceiling and sent tiny shimmers dancing across the back wall. Mavis would have found that cute if she wasn't so busy being upset with Jae. She huffed, but he didn't budge, so she narrowed her eyes at him. "Because we're friends," She emphasized the words and gave him another look. Between her hands flying around as she spoke, the pointed expressions on her face, and her words, Mavis was pretty sure Jae knew she meant business, but he still hadn't given her an answer.

There was only one course of action left.

Without warning, Mavis rushed him on the bed, her knee pulling up onto his comforter and her weight shifting as she sat down beside him, one foot tucked under her. She tugged on his sleeve like a four-year-old and made a pouty face, "Jaaaaaaeeee~."

"No, I'm not," he said stubbornly to her accusation of saying he was the one kid without anxiety. Not that he would admit that in front of anyone else. Not that he knew if it was 100% true. Did he have less anxiety than others? He wasn't sure. That would require a lot more data like a survey of everyone's experiences, what type of anxiety was she talking about specifically or did she mean in general, or was she even talking about anxiety or something more akin to--- What the hell was he doing. This did not matter.

Her reasoning was all off though. Because we're friends she had said, but that didn't feel completely true. Maybe more accurate to say 'they had been friends' as in past tense since what they were now was more complicated and changed on a monthly basis it seemed. Jae couldn't figure it out, but he had seen her like this enough times to know that she was going to be stubborn about it. He crossed his arms in front of him and shrugged as if that was enough of an answer.

But then she was moving and he recognized that look in her eye and he gave her a warning look, but she was already so close and tugging on his sleeve. He tried to roll his eyes heavenward and look annoyed, but her tone and the face she was making and the way she said her name always had an effect on him. Dammit. A smile curved up his lips without permission as he looked at her and laughed, exhaling a short, hard breath that made his shoulders loosen a little. "Stop that," he said gruffly as he tried to shake his arm away from her while simultaneously elbowing her in the side. "What if I said I'll think about it?" he told her.

As she often had, Mavis ignored the look that Jae gave her to have her backing off. They were both incessantly stubborn; honestly, Mavis thought it was a wonder Jae hadn't landed in Gryffindor. A part of her had always been suspicious of his sorting, half-convinced he'd told the sorting hat not to put him in Gryffindor to be contradictory or something Jae-like.

Instead of heeding his warning, the teenage witch jumped on his bed and started pulling on him. And eventually, he broke, like he always did, and her smile blossomed. "Noooo, that's not good enough, Jae." Mavis' head tilted back as she told him no, her voice whining, her hair falling over her shoulders. "I need you to say yes, it's not that hard; look I will show you." She was still holding on to his arm, unaware that she hadn't let go, as she said "Yes," as dramatically as possible and then laughed.

She was still whining and pulling on his arm, her hair smelling like jasmine and vanilla, and he glanced away towards his door, trying to fight the stupid smile that kept finding its way to his face. He interjected little sarcastic comments in between her urging aka annoying comments.

Noooo, that's not good enough, Jae. "Yes, it really is."

I need you to say yes, it's not that hard. "Agree to disagree, then."

Look I will show you. "Can't wait."

But she was still holding on to his arm and for some stupid reason, he was hyper aware of it. He returned his gaze to her as she gave a little dramatic flair and when she laughed, he did too. Damn. Why was that so infectious. He scrubbed a hand across his face and shook his head. "Fine, if I promise to go, will you get out of here?" he asked, even though he didn't exactly want her to go.

“I don’t know if I will,” Mavis declared, her chin up as she looked at him with a suspicious but cheerful smile. “How do I know you are not crossing your fingers or something?” The teenager wanted her longest friend (?) to come to the party tonight, and she didn’t plan to take no for an answer. It wasn’t just that she wanted Jae to go, though, not anymore; now it was also about winning whatever little game they were playing. And if Jae came to Billie’s tonight, Mavis would claim victory. It was always a game.

“But I suppose I will to take it on faith~” She bounced around on his bed as she spoke, clearly way too enthusiastic and already hyped up for tonight’s festivities. Tonight was the first real “party” Mavis had ever been to, and Mavis was thrilled. Of course, the young witch had been to birthday parties and slumber parties, even the occasional pool party, but this was the first no adults, underage drinking, and with a BOYFRIEND sort of party.

“You pinky promise?” She asked, letting go of his arm to offer Jae her pinky, and she wiggled it as she held it up, wondering if he’d remember the secret way they used to make promises but worrying he might have forgotten.

I don’t know if I will. Jae sighed long and hard as if this was the most inconvenient thing in the world at the moment, trying not to get caught up in the way she was smiling at him. Did she really doubt him that much? He gave her a deadpan expression as he held up his hands for her to see, showing no fingers crossed. "And no, don't even ask about my toes, I can't cross them," he said even though he was barefoot and she could probably glance down to check if she wanted to.

"Greeeeattt," he drawled as she bounced on his bed, making him bounce a little too, though she was much more enthusiastic about it than he was. He really didn't understand why she was so excited for this. It was literally the same people they saw any other day at Hogwarts. What, because they were in some different clothes, with some less than legal substances (probably), and what he assumed would be some loud music, that's what made it all different?

As she held up her pinky, he rolled his eyes and pushed her hand away, tingling at the touch. "Ah, come on, we don't need to," he complained, but he saw that expression on her face and gave in a few moments later. "Ok fine, but don't spit in here," he said as he wrapped his pinky around hers, moved his hand with hers up and down twice before they launched into their complex and over the top secret handshake they had made as kids, something that he hadn't forgotten and wondered why he had remembered, reveling for the smallest moment of how it took him back to simpler times before all the magic had plucked him from his relatively normal life.

Right at the end of their hand slaps and finger wiggles where they held hands and usually spit on the ground (because of course as kids that meant you were serious), he stopped and gave her a look, not wanting any spit in his room. "Great, now get out," he told her, a little smile on his lips even as he kept his hand around hers.

Mavis felt absolutely ecstatic as Jae shook her hand the same way they made promises as children. She smiled up at him vibrantly and felt even more energized than she had before, which should not have been possible. Mavis had been looking forward to going to this party since the squad had begun planning it but knowing that Jae would be there somehow made it even more special. They had grown apart, and she hated it. Mavis missed this. Bouncing on his bed, deflecting his constant negativity and all of their secret handshakes and inside jokes. She missed him. And in some way, Mavis hoped this party would be the night that finally, once and for all, initiated Jae into her group of friends. Or, at the very least, stopped them from arguing and pushing each other away as much as they had the last five years.

She laughed at him as they finished the shake, nodding her head and making a dramatic motion that resembled swallowing. "Fine, fine," she gave in but made it seem like it was the worst thing she'd ever done when in reality, she had no plans to spit on his carpet. For one, she wasn't an absolute heathen, and for two, she did not want to explain that to his grandmother.

"Oh my Morganna, Jae! You are such a grumpy goblin," She said, punching him playfully in the arm as he told her to get out. "But wait, like, what are you going to wear tonight? Not that... right?" Mavis asked, eyeing his current outfit and assuring herself he must have had plans to change. After all, she had a seven-tiered "get ready" plan waiting for her back home.

"I'm not a 'grumpy goblin'. Have you met a goblin? They're way worse," he defended easily, goblin facts now scrolling through his mind. He had actually been reading up on goblin history in his spare time (which was always, what else did he had to do than read and generally avoid her and not think about her with her new 'boyfriend'). But he didn't deflect or avoid her punch, it was light but he rubbed at the spot anyway before swatting her hands away.

He glanced down at what he was wearing when she mentioned it. A pair of dark wash jeans and a button up shirt. Standard Jae wear. He frowned at her tone though and the way she had questioned him about it. "Why? What's wrong with it?" he asked and then had a sudden horrible thought. "Oh, please don't tell me you made it a costume party, Mavis," he groaned in complaint already guessing that's what she meant. Of course, no one would have told him it was a costume party. Probably be funnier if the muggleborn Asian Hufflepuff kid was the only one to show up without a costume. 

"That's it, I'm definitely not going."