Magical Hogwarts

Volume 36: February 2005

PAGE 1: CURRENT EVENTS AND MINI PLOTS

world A flash sale of the famous Sleekeazy's Hair Potion at a Hogsmeade shop has attracted a positively rabid crowd. Witches and wizards alike have been clamoring for access, flooding the streets and causing quite the disturbance in the otherwise-quiet village. Tensions quickly escalated to (ironically) hair-pulling - but when fisticuffs broke out, local DMLE officials were called to disband the mayhem. A small group of Accidental Magical Reversal Squad members were dispatched to tidy up the scene, which consisted of a few misfired jinxes; fortunately, no one was seriously or permanently harmed. beauxbatons Professeur Dutour is acting rather strange, giving out detentions to certain students without any reason. A week into February, a student disappears from view. The girl was last seen when she headed for a detention with Professeur Dutour. While Madame Maxime alerts the Ministry and Aurors are coming to Manoir Vertneuf to investigate the case, Arsène Dutour doesn’t seem too eager to have investigations at his place. The ghosts that inhabit the mansion spread rumours that the man himself has abducted the girl, but there's no proof and no sign of her yet. Despite the tragic events, the arts initiative is still in progress. This month it's all about musical instruments. Those who are able to play an instrument are welcome to join an orchestra and practice for a concert. Those who cannot play an instrument but are interested are welcome to join Professeur Böhme for lessons. Instruments are given out to students who do not own any. Of course, students damaging one of these precious items will earn themselves detention.

hogwarts When the first snowflakes began to fall in the late afternoon on Sunday the 13th, hardly anyone batted an eyelash: it was typical for winter in the Highlands, after all. But by the time evening fell, the intensity had only increased and showed no signs of stopping. Just before dawn a true blizzard moved through, rattling the glass panes with nearly gale-force winds and dumping over three feet of snow onto the Hogwarts denizens. Due to continued high winds and snowdrifts as high as four feet or more with continued snowfall, outdoor lessons were canceled for next two days and resumed on Wednesday the 16th. For weeks, a group of Muggleborn students have been planning a Snowy Squid Swim in the Black Lake on Thursday the 24th (the tenth anniversary of the Hogwarts-hosted Triwizard Tournament's Second Task). Borrowed from the popular Muggle tradition known as "Polar Bear Plunge" or "Loony Dook" typically done on New Year's Day, participants willingly jump into a natural body of water despite the cold ambient and water temperature - costumes are encouraged, but by no means required. Sign-ups have been going around since before the winter holidays; despite the staggering amount of still-present snow from the recent blizzard, very few participants have dropped out and there have actually been a handful of last-minute entries. Staff, house elves, and student volunteers will be standing by with warming charms, blankets, and steaming mugs of cocoa and cider for participants and spectators. Multiple failsafe measures have also been put into place for the safety of participants.

durmstrang Springtime, though just around the corner, is just as cold at Durmstrang as the harsh winter. Even so, some days are nicer than others. To celebrate Dragobetele, in contrast to the way the holiday is traditionally celebrated, there will be a “Sadie Hawkins”-inspired dance where the girls will be tasked with inviting the boys to the endeavor. Held in the Grand Hall, there will be a small formal dance. Dress robes or the dress uniform is encouraged, but traditional dresses and suits will be permitted. After considerable pressure from both students and the Board of Directors, Headmaster Yeshevsky has taken the dance as an opportunity to announce that Quidditch will be back on for the remainder of the semester. The Dueling Club Captains - Klyk Vampira's Zoya Chernova and Drakonya Krov's Dzmitry Zelenko - have been selected as the Quidditch Captains for their respective teams and will be in charge of bringing a team together, managing practices, and preparing for one final “winner takes all” game to be held at the End of Term. ilvermorny The Lunar New Year falls on Wednesday, February 9, and though classes will proceed as usual on that day, students are looking forward to a delicious banquet celebrating the newly-hatched Year of the Rooster. The House Elves have prepared an array of dishes that celebrate the diverse backgrounds of Ilvermorny students that celebrate the Lunar New Year, including but not limited to fried catfish, braised pork, handmade dumplings, chicken satay, sticky rice cakes, and tropical fruits. Students that are sensitive to spicy food are advised to steer clear of the kimchi mandu. Meanwhile, though MACUSA has approved Ilvermorny to restart construction, staff is still waiting on approval from the Magical Carpenters and Laborers Union.

PAGE 2: SPORTS

FEBRUARY HIGHLIGHTS After two particularly high-scoring games, the Gravesend Griffins launched to the top of the charts after months of middling performances, with a particularly strong performance from Seeker Alannah Dupont (who must be grateful for this windfall after her embarrassing show at the Four Nations Tournament). Reaping the benefits of the second match, the Tutshill Tornadoes also shot up several places in the rankings – though Quidditch analysts seem to agree that this was more due to lacklustre performances across the board than any particular brilliance on Tutshill’s part (although their Beaters Alexei Tsigler and Mollie Jameson were in uncharacteristically fine form.) A number of this month’s matches were, in three words, swift, bloodless, and dull. Particularly uninspired was Saturday’s showdown between the Montrose Magpies and Holyhead Harpies; the Quaffle didn’t cross onto the visitors’ side of the field once in thirty minutes of gametime, to the point that Holyhead Keeper Sarah Lewis strayed constantly toward the opposite goalposts to see what was going on. In the coming months, this reporter is hoping for a little more excitement – it would be a welcome change of pace to get some fresh blood in the semi-finals (and no, this is not a request for Caerphilly Beaters Alun Davies and  Gethin Edwards.) PLAYERS TO WATCH OUT FOR Now at the halfway point of the season, Quidditch analyst Constantine Cross met with WWN match commentators Ryan Lynch and Lucy Dempsey to discuss some of the players to keep an eye on as the season progresses, from the most reliable league stalwarts, to the wild cards, to the up-and-comers that may be changing the face of the game as we know it. Jane Jones (Caerphilly Catapults) – CC: Though Jones’s performance is often overshadowed by the antics of her teammates, it’s no secret that the Catapults have had a remarkably strong run lately, remaining consistently in the top five for much of the last two years. Though Jones’s fellow Chasers Garth Gaynor and Rhys Williams of course share some of the credit for the Catapults’ high scoring, Jones scored 129 of their 173 goals this season, including the much-reviewed final goal in the tied match against the Kestrels last month. Keela Doyle (Falmouth Falcons) – RL: Maybe a little Irish bias is shining through here, but Falmouth Beater Keela Doyle seems to have risen to fill the void left since former Captain and Beater Quinn Regan’s retirement last year, taking the Falcons’ motto – “Let us win, but if we cannot win, let us break a few heads” – truly to heart, and one can’t neglect to bring up her performance on the Irish National Team, where her and Captain Finbar Quigley’s aggressive line of offensive defense prevented more goals than Keeper Barry Ryan in December’s two-hour match against England. Juin Proulx (Gravesend Griffins) – LD: The smallest changes in the Griffins’ lineup seems to have brought them roaring back to full force, giving them a much-needed boost both in scoring and winning, and dragging them to the top of the standings in just two matches. Though it’s not clear yet what made Proulx leave the Western European League, or what encouraged Gravesend Captain Harlan Bellamy to trade her in, it is absolutely clear that, with an attack style worthy of a chimaera, she’s right where she belongs. Lev Leskov (Gravesend Griffins, reserve) – CC: With starting Beater Kaelyn Rue Hawkins on medical leave for the month of February, the Griffins sent reserve Beater Lev Leskov, formerly of the Moscow Metalmen, onto the pitch opposite Captain Harlan Bellamy in one of the best and fiercest matches Gravesend has seen this year. Leskov is one of a few recent international signs for the Griffins, and certainly one to look out for.

IAFU CHANGES ARTISTIC FLYING RULES by Irina Sergeyevna Onishenko At the IAFU congress in Pruntrut, Switzerland, many topics have been on the agenda and the heads of the national federations report that it was a productive meeting. Some changes have been discussed and will already be applied for the season 2005. The most notable change is that the technical exercise is going to be performed to music. Consequently the technical exercise will be graded with A, B, and C marks like the free program. The ticket sales have proven that more people come to see the free programs to music than the technical exercises without music. This change is mostly a step to get the sport more recognition. Another change is that a time violation rule will apply after ten seconds. This is basically an attempt to force athletes to stick to a certain time to make event schedules easier to calculate. Other than that, the point values for some elements have been adjusted. A whole list of point values can be viewed in the new release of the IAFU rules which will be published shortly. An insider who wants to stay anonymous reports that athletes and coaches are not enthused about the imminent rule changes. "Most athletes are already working on their new programs and will have to change everything around again. In general we welcome these changes but they should only be applied in the 2006 season to give everyone more time to prepare accordingly." The IAFU reacted to this criticism with indifference. The new rules will be applied in the 2005 season and not later. Rumour has it that some athletes in Rybinsk already practised their technical exercise to music which underlines that the new IAFU president Alexey Viktorovich Tikhomirov is by no means neutral but gives preference to his family and the school in Rybinsk. HOGWARTS QUIDDITCH Another month, another hard-fought match. Hoping to keep their forward momentum from their victory in November, Ravenclaw took on Slytherin in a match-up that could be best described as "fast and furious". The January rumble certainly brought the heat on an otherwise cold day, with a surprising number of fouls despite the relatively brief match. Aimée de Havilland was at it again and seemed to primarily target high-scoring Chaser Isaac Hackney this match, no doubt hoping to increase the point margin for her team by keeping Slytherin goals to a minimum. This piece of strategy was relatively successful, though short-lived: Seeker Maggie Delgado managed to secure the Snitch after 32 minutes of play, chalking up a win for Slytherin with final score of 60 to 170. This month, Gryffindor faces-off against Hufflepuff. With both teams coming off of losses most recently and given the intensity of each match to-date this season, there's little doubt that sparks will fly. However - rumors have been swirling that, as recently as last month, Captain and Seeker Aase Trickett-Cassoway was still experiencing some degree of post-concussive symptoms from her injury in November. She has been practicing fully so it's unclear how much truth these rumors hold, but in any case the match will tell.

CURRENT BRITISH & IRISH QUIDDITCH LEAGUE STANDINGS Gravesend Griffins  -  2280 Holyhead Harpies  -  2190 Caerphilly Catapults  -  2180 Falmouth Falcons  -  1970 Kenmare Kestrels  -  1960 Chudley Cannons  -  1770 Ballycastle Bats  -  1710 Puddlemere United  -  1570 Tutshill Tornadoes  -  1390 Wigtown Wanderers  -  1350 Appleby Arrows  -  1180 Pride Of Portree  -  1130 Wimbourne Wasps  -  1100 Montrose Magpies  -  1030

PAGE 3: OTHER NEWS

Dastardly Dust-Busters in Devon The not quite sleepy town of Devon, England was rocked this weekend when muggle machines turned murderous. Amatuer enchanter and cleaning shop owner Alfie Woodrow has been detained in connection with the staggering amount of vacuum cleaners that wrecked havoc in Devon. Illegal modifications and poorly executed enchantments turned once mundane muggle objects into voracious sucking machines that went on a rampage. Chasing small animals and large wizards alike, the vacuum cleaners sucked up everything they could get their bristles on. Officials from the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts office have reviewed Woodrow's shop inventory and believe two Hoover 800 uprights, three Rexair Rainbow canisters, and a particularly vicious mid-century Electrolux may still be at large. They warn residents of Devon and surrounding areas not to interact with the bewitched cleaners. They are considered dangerous and may well be hiding in plain sight. Do you know what model is in your broom closet? In other news, the streets of Devon have never been cleaner.

Ireland Braced for Dark Widow Attacks by Evan Reavley After spending most of January coming south-southwest from the Cairngorms through Scotland, the still at-large domestic terrorist known as the Dark Widow crossed the North Channel -- and released havoc, in the form of frost salamanders and a radio programme, at Divis between Belfast and Dundrod in Northern Ireland. Unfortunately the battalion of Aurors dispatched to the region - led by none other than Harry Potter - failed to apprehend the Widow, who has been taking a twisted delight in dancing just out of reach of the esteemed Auror for months now. Asked to comment on Saturday's botched operation, Auror Potter said, "We've been on the defensive position since the Dark Widow surfaced. There is no operation past protecting the Statute of Secrecy, and we've been able to respond to each of her attacks and resolve it without the Muggles catching on for months now, so if we do botch an operation I'll let you know."

As the Widow has moved further south, the sites of her demonstrations - all designed, by her own admittance, to violate and invalidate the International Statute of Secrecy - have spread further apart. As such, Ministry Diviners don't anticipate that she will hit Northern Ireland again. Instead, the larger country of Eire to the south is girding itself for the inevitable exhibition. While the Prophet has been barred from learning or publishing the Ministry's precise guess on the next attack site, the Dark Widow's current relatively straight-line trajectory would put her not far due west of Dublin. However, when a few months previously the Ministry thought her path had been preset and somewhat circular, the Widow had headed further north to Caiplie Caves rather than turning back west through Northumbria. If indeed she is following a path, it is either illogical or extralogical. To that end, rumour has it that the British Ministry has enlisted assistance from esteemed Arithmancer Larkin Primrose, of the Magical Congress of the United States of America's Department of Mysteries. Speculation also suggested that renowned martial magic scholar and historian Adonis Hristofis may be travelling to the United Kingdom to help identify potentially repeated strategic patterns in the Widow's agenda.

PAGE 4: GOSSIP AND SOCIAL

DOYLE DANCING WITH THE DEVIL? by Jonquil Jones Keela Doyle, 20, of Falmouth Falcons fame, has been romantically linked to none other than accused murderer Damien Jason "DJ" Conway, 21. Conway was acquitted of all charges in August 2001 due to a lack of evidence, and the reemergence into society of the murder victim, a Miss Willowsong. But are Quidditch — and more specifically, Falcons — fans right to be concerned? Conway spent a period of time in Azkaban, and has not been seen in public until recently. Moreover, several members of the wider Conway family have been connected to or involved in a spate of homicides in Wales. Other than the risk of imminent death, Doyle must also consider the impact on her career of cavorting with suspected murderers. Miss Doyle’s representatives have been owled for comment but at time of publishing no response has been received. WE BUY SOULS! Looking for the deal of an eternity? Owl your Gringotts Vault number to Geoffrey Jefferson Jr, New York, NY today!

DISCONCERTING DREAMS The Ogmore-by-Sea Dream Survey is investigating a recent spike in bizarre, unexplainable dreams. If you have been experiencing any unusual dream activity you can help by reporting a summary. Please owl Glenys Griffiths with a description of your dream. PROBLEMS WITH THE POTTERS A source has informed the Prophet that there may be trouble in paradise for the Potter family. The reliable source claims they have heard Harry Potter, 24, has been increasingly irritable in the offices of the Ministry, and his late nights at work as a result of increased criminal activity are surely causing strain with Holyhead Harpies star seeker and new mum, Ginny Potter, who has an equally busy schedule. One wonders who is looking after young James Silbus? Our source claims Potter was seen visiting the House-Elf Rehoming Office and is looking for a nanny to raise the child so that the parents can continue to prioritise their careers. Deplorable.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO... Harlan Bellamy (35) Poesy Darling (28) Luna Lovegood (24) Sylvain Chéret (21) Eve Allard (20) Linnéa Holmström (19) Regina Basciano (19) Rowen Reinhardt (17) Jae Kim (17)

PAGE 5: CREDITS AND NOTICES

information We have revamped The Daily Prophet based on member feedback and welcome any comments or suggestions in an effort to further improve the Prophet. credits This issue was created by the Administration team, with additional submissions and ideas from Taed and Laura. We would like to thank Christine for the easy-to-use coding and Samm for the amazing header. how to contribute We are always seeking member-produced stories and submissions. This can be in the form of in-character letters to the editors, rumours and gossip, or character-driven plots. You can submit your ideas to any member of the team, however if you have something in mind for a specific geographical area of the board please reach out to the respective admin: • Olivia - Hogwarts & British Isles • Inga - Beauxbatons & Western Europe • Dylan - Durmstrang & Eastern Europe • [lia]Lianne[/lia] - Ilvermorny & North America

none other than accused murderer Damien Jason "DJ" Conway, 21. Conway was acquitted of all charges in August 2001 due to a lack of evidence, and the reemergence into society of the murder victim

Yeah so I'm not really an accused murderer am I Mister Jones.
I was accused wrongly of murder, but the person wasn't murdered, and I didn't give her the poison anyway, Mister Jones.
I haven't murdered anyone, yet, Mister Jones.

several members of the wider Conway family have been connected to or involved in a spate of homicides in Wales

F**k you, my family's only involvement was BEING MURDERED

@Lorin Odell can I sue the Prophet for libel?

😇

Juin Proulx (Gravesend Griffins) – LD: The smallest changes in the Griffins’ lineup seems to have brought them roaring back to full force, giving them a much-needed boost both in scoring and winning, and dragging them to the top of the standings in just two matches. Though it’s not clear yet what made Proulx leave the Western European League, or what encouraged Gravesend Captain Harlan Bellamy to trade her in, it is absolutely clear that, with an attack style worthy of a chimaera, she’s right where she belongs.

😘 merci