Magical Hogwarts

June 2004

They reached Alyona’s house only about half an hour after they had initially left it. Alyona led the way into the kitchen, lighting an oil lamp, and pouring them both a glass of water before slowly preparing coffee for the two of them. "Take a seat," she muttered. She emptied her glass completely even before the coffee was ready. It felt sobering to drink some water and it immediately helped her to think at least a little more clearly.

Alyona wondered if her friend had seen what (or rather who she had seen) at the nightclub. She wasn’t sure if her mind was playing tricks on her. After all, the woman had drunk quite a bit of vodka earlier and was tired. However, the longer she thought about it, the more convinced she was that her husband had been there, watching the girls at the strip club. Alyona wasn't sure if she wanted to know this for sure or if she should dismiss this thought entirely and try to forget about it altogether. After all, her problems with Anton went deeper than just him possibly visiting a strip club.

She looked at Gaston thoughtfully anyway, unsure what he had seen and whether or not he had noticed the absence of Anton in the house (or thought that he was already asleep) but then remembered that he had read her to do list which also implied Anton's absence. Thinking about it, the healer realised that there were actually a few points on the list that might lead to unpleasant questions.

"I forgot how you like your coffee," she said apologetically as she placed a cup in front of him. Then she refilled her glass with water and sank down on a kitchen chair.

"You made it sound as though you had a lot to tell me," she encouraged Gaston, hoping that he’d tell her about his life and thus distract her from her own problems. Maybe her friend had positive news to share. In Alyona’s life positive news had become a rarity lately anyway.

http://magical-hogwarts.com/index.php?action=profile;u=21101' rel='nofollow noopener' target='_blank'>@Gaston Malinat

What had he been thinking of? Since when did he - did either of them - partake in spontaneous activities, especially when they involved heading out into the city at night without any clear idea of where they were going? Particularly given that Alyona was clearly dealing with something he had no idea about (as evidenced by the note she had accidentally sent) and probably hadn't wanted to even leave the house. He felt ashamed, and not just because their short-lived expedition had been disastrous.

"Thank you" he said quietly, sitting down in the kitchen and accepting the glass of water. He stared down into the clear liquid in silence, aware that Alyona was making coffee but somehow unable to mentally connect to what was going on. Slowly, as if someone else was doing it, he raised the glass to his lips and took a sip. Then another, and a another, and then before he knew it his own glass was empty again. He hadn't drunk that much wine this evening before arriving in Rybinsk, but the cold water entering his system seemed to clear his head.

"At this time of night, with a little cream if you have it" he said with a wan smile. In the mornings he would only ever drink coffee black, but keeping himself awake for the entire night wasn't going to bode well for tomorrow as would happen if he loaded up on black coffee. He noticed Alyona taking a second glass of water and studiously said nothing. It seemed that she was going to say nothing about her own situation as well, and he wasn't sure how to ask. Gaston felt a little like he had been caught reading someone else's diary, though logically he knew he'd done nothing wrong. Indeed, he felt as though turning up here had been somehow timely and was curious to understand more about what Alyona was dealing with.

He would have to wait a little longer though, it seemed. He mentally ran back over their previous brief conversation and discovered nothing that could have suggested that he had news for her, but decided to overlook that for now. He did have news, and it would act as a distraction if nothing else. "I do. A slight change of direction, career-wise" he said, looking suddenly younger and even a little excited "From September I will be teaching about Magical Creatures at Beauxbatons". As he spoke, Gaston realised Alyona was the first person he had told. The thought made him a little sad.

Nodding, Alyona summoned a little can with cream and put it on the kitchen table in front of Gaston. She poured herself a cup of black coffee, thinking that she wouldn’t be able to sleep either way.

Gaston had indeed news to tell her and Alyona offered a tired little smile. “That’s great,” she said, forcing herself to sound enthusiastic. She knew that her friend had always wanted to teach the class on Magical Creatures and he looked quite happy about his career change now, too. “I’m glad you get to teach that class. I’m sure you’ll be great and the students can definitely learn a lot from you.”

She took a sip of the hot coffee. It tasted bitter. She considered adding some cream but the thought of it didn’t seem to make the coffee any tastier. She knew that the only drink she’d enjoy now would be more vodka but she was also aware that it was hardly a good plan to have any more alcohol now. She lifted the cup to her lips again, taking another sip. It didn’t improve.

A sad little laugh escaped Alyona and she shook her head. “Isn’t it ironic that we haven’t seen each other in so long and are now sitting here late at night, having coffee after having visited a strip club?” She sighed. What she had just said was not really the predominant thought on her mind now. Her thoughts were still circling around the worries about her daughter and the state of her marriage. However, while she knew that she could trust her friend, she was not yet feeling ready to share these thoughts with him. She almost hoped that he would ask a question that would force her to be open with him. After all, Alyona was not going to lie to him.

"I certainly hope so" he said, and here was something he would admit to almost nobody else in the world "I doubt I am very popular with the students. Some professors - they seem to invite the confidence of the young. They are greeted with enthusiasm in the corridors. They seem to be actually liked, and I imagine the students speak of them with fondness. You can imagine...I rarely smile, I am too serious, I expect high standards..." he offered the closest he could approximate to a smile as he spoke, making a vague gesture with one hand. Nonetheless, the knowledge that he was at last teaching his favourite class was reassuring, and he felt that maybe the year would be an enjoyable one.

The coffee was god and he took a small sip, almost coinciding his movements with Alyona's . This time, he did actually laugh, just for a moment. "A strip club...would you believe I have never set foot in such a place before?" he asked, but his voice faltered slightly, not because he was lying but because he remembered why he had come here in the first place. The letter, which hadn't been a letter at all but rather a list, and some of the items on it had been...disturbing.

He badly wanted to ask why his friend was contacting a detective agency, but it wasn't the sort of thing one just came out with. It was ironic indeed how the night had panned out in such a short time, but that still didn't mean... oh, to hell with it.

"You seem...distracted. Is something wrong?" he asked finally.

“You know, I think respect is far more important than being liked. I’m sure your students will remember you well as one of the professors who taught them interesting things, not as a fleeting face that made life easy for them at school.” Alyona thought that being liked was, of course, a good thing. However, if she could choose she’d pick being respected over being considered nice.

“All professors should have high standards. It’s not about getting through school somehow, it’s about learning something for life.” She felt that she sounded stupid, but was too drunk to actually mind it much. What if she was sounding as though she was citing some calendar sayings? Maybe Gaston would still find something worthwhile in her words.

“Well, yes, I definitely believe that,” Alyona said, smiling slightly. “For me it obviously was a first, too. For some people, however, it didn’t seem to be a rare thing,” she added bitterly.

“Wrong? What would be wrong?” her voice sounded uncharacteristically shrill and Alyona looked down at her hands. “Well, maybe things aren’t exactly…”

How could she talk about all the things that were preoccupying her? She didn’t want to worry or burden her friend and, yet, she needed to talk to someone and that someone better be someone she trusted.

“A lot has happened in the past year… It’s been difficult and… it doesn’t seem to get better.”

This time he actually smiled. Alyona was right of course. Teaching wasn't about being liked or winning popularity contests, but about helping students to learn enough to find their way in the world. Which professors did he remember at school, the ones who had allowed him an easy ride, or those who had challenged him? Oh, he had preferred the first kind, naturally. What student wouldn't? But it was the latter who he remembered with genuine fondness and appreciation.

"Thank you. You're right, of course" he said, but this was rapidly followed by raised eyebrows and a fleeting thought that he was glad not to have been drinking coffee at that moment, or he would surely have spit it out into the saucer. Was he really so straight-laced and dull that he looked like he'd never entered a risque club before? Not that he wanted to look like such a person, but...oh, he didn't know what he was thinking. What was far more interesting was Alyona's implication, but not in a good way.

Something clearly was wrong, nothing that could be explained away by the quantity of alcohol consumed. Gaston had a choice at this point. On the one hand, he wondered if this had been a mistake. Maybe he should apologise, head back to Beauxbatons, and arrange a visit for later inthe week, one afternoon when they were both sober.

And yet, that part of him which always loved secrets - even the unsavoury ones that affected a friend and made her so clearly unhappy - wanted to know more. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked quietly.

Alyona was always trying to keep up the facade of perfection and control. The facade was crumbling for a while. It was like an old building that desperately needed restoration or would soon be a ruin of its old self. However, outwardly, Alyona still mostly managed to act like she was still in control of her life and of her surroundings.

The woman heard her friend’s offer and it was like he had touched the fragile surface. She took a deep breath, trying to keep her composure but she could feel tears welling up. The healer blinked a few times, opened her mouth and closed it again. She chewed on her lip and then, for the lack of a better idea to gain a moment to collect herself, took a sip of coffee again.

“I…” she said and shrugged helplessly. She didn’t even know where to start. However, her eyes looked watery now and she shook her head. “It’s been awful,” she burst out. “Aglaya is struggling badly and Anton… we aren’t close anymore. Since… since this all happened he distanced himself from us and I don’t think we’ll ever get back to how things used to be.”

She was vaguely aware that she was talking in riddles, but she felt unable to be any more coherent right now. The alcohol and the overwhelming emotions made it impossible for the generally so structured woman to get to the point.

This was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. Gaston hadn't planned for any of this to happen and the greater part of him was wishing he had never left his study. He could have sent the list back to Alyona with a note saying "I think this arrived by accident" and then none of this would have happened.

Except it would have happened. His friend would still be unhappy, the only different was that she would be alone and unhappy. As much as Gaston didn't want to hear a confession that her marriage was falling apart he supposed it was a good thing he was there. The question was, what on earth could he possibly say that wouldn't sound like a fake platitude, or worse, like he didn't care at all.

"I read about Aglaya's latest results" he offered "The report didn't say anything about her struggling..?" Gaston wasn't sure what else to say. He had known the girl since she was a small child, and while he had never been a part of her life in the way that parents' friends sometimes end up being called 'aunt' or 'uncle', he had of course followed her career with interest. But if there was nothing in the papers, that implied there were personal issues? Both mother and daughter had problems... but he had assumed Aglaya was entirely occupied with her career.

This was confusing, and unless he asked a direct question, Gaston was unsure how they were going to move forward. "Is the situation with Anton...connected with Aglaya's struggles?" he asked carefully, not even sure he wanted to hear the answer anymore.

Gaston did seem a little lost on how to deal with the situation and Alyona couldn’t blame him. He hadn’t voluntarily signed up to play her therapist and yet he was here now, about to get a whole lot of Alyona’s problems and worries dumped upon him.

“Yeah,” Alyona said, smiling sadly. “She won everything last season. Everything has changed since then.” She shrugged, unsure how to go on. However, Gaston rescued her by asking another question.

Were her marriage problems connected to Aglaya’s struggles? It was a good question. In a way everything was connected to that and yet Alyona wasn’t sure if their problems hadn’t been building up for a while. It was possible that they both had just lived parallel lives and now they had broken out of this quiet coexistence.

“Well, we’ve all had trouble dealing with the situation.” Alyona started. She had to remind herself that Gaston was a longtime friend, a good friend, and that she could talk to him. He wasn’t going to run to the press, tell other family members the things he heard or react in another inappropriate way.

“Someone tried to poison my daughter,” she said, looking down as her voice broke. She took a deep breath and looked at Gaston again. “She apparently has a stalker, has had him for a while. It took her a while to recover physically and… it was a shock to all of us, of course. We kept it to ourselves. Nobody wanted a big scene or negative publicity for our school and the sport.” Her voice sounded tired. She wasn’t sure if their way of handling it had been right, but Anton had distanced himself visibly since this incident. He hadn’t been able to cope seeing his daughter almost dying and his wife drinking far too much.

He picked up the cup, stared at the contents and replaced it. Again, he thought about leaving, but there was no possible excuse he could give that wouldn't sound like he didn't care. Besides, he couldn't just walk away without knowing what was going on. He reached for the coffee again and this time took a sip, It was cooling rapidly.

"Someone..?" he stared at Alyona in shock, thinking he must have misheard, something had got lost in translation. Surely she just meant Aglaya had eaten something that disagreed with her or had been badly prepared, had been unwell for a few days as a result. Gaston knew at that moment he would have given anyhting for that to be the truth, for him to discover he was imagining the worst. But the worst was still to come.

He stood up then, walked round behind his old friend and put his hands on her shoulders, squeezing gently. "I'm sorry" he said, knowing that was nowhere near enough and unable to think of anything more helpful. What could he say anyway? It was no wonder she looked so exhausted...and now the private investigator made sense. "You have no idea who the stalker is?" he made it a statement rather than a question, and then fell silent again, unable to think of anyhting positive he could possibly say to help with the situation.

"If you, or Aglaya - or any of you need a break, you're always welcome at my house" he said "The children will be delighted to meet you - and when I say children I do in fact mean my cats, in case you thought I had been keeping secrets." It was a poor attempt at humour at such a time, but he was sincere about the invitation.

Alyona exhaled loudly and tried to relax when she felt Gaston’s hands on her shoulders. He squeezed them gently and it felt good. She hadn’t been aware just how tense she had been in the past weeks or even months. He probably could sense how tight her muscles were. A proper massage would certainly do her well. She might check with the masseur who occasionally worked for her if he could give her a proper massage. He did wonders with some of the athletes anyway.

“No idea…” Alyona would have liked to say more or maybe she wouldn’t. Either way, her voice was brittle and she didn’t want to sound shaken like this. It wasn’t right to display weakness.

His invitation came as a surprise and Alyona momentarily considered it an option, but, no, she couldn’t go away and leave Aglaya and the flying school behind, not even for a short vacation. And Aglaya? Well, Alyona doubted that her daughter would want to go to France and stay at a house full of cats that belonged to Gaston. She wasn’t even sure what Aglaya thought of her French friend. At some point she’d have to find a way to ask her.

“Thank you,” she said, “one day I might take you up on your offer…” She sighed. “Honestly, I’d love to come right now, but I can’t. I’m needed here...” Who was she fooling? Alyona  wanted to be needed, she wanted to help, but she knew that all her attempts were feeble. She was hardly able to improve the situation, had probably even made things worse with her desperate efforts.

This feeling of helplessness was something Gaston hadn't dealt with in some while, and he disliked it just as much as when he had been a kid and not allowed to pick his own subjects, a young man manoeuvred into a marriage he didn't want, a businessman expected to bail out incompetent brothers. The difference this time was that it wasn't any of his business, and he could simply walk away and not worry about it.

Except, he realised, he would worry about it, because Alyona was his friend. Oh, not in the way some people might snigger and assume; there had never been any hint of attraction between them. But she had been a part of his life almost as long as he could remember, and he didn't want to simply walk away. And maybe there wasn't anything he could do about the situation.

But he could still be there.

"Alright. I don't think we should talk about this any more tonight" he said, realising anew that it was very late indeed "but if I don't hear from you in the next couple of days I promise that I shall be back. I may not be able to help...but you don't have to be alone in this any more. You are welcome to visit any time you choose, even if it's just for an hour or two..." he paused, thinking that there was something more he could say, but Alyona was as proud as he was. She wouldn't accept help easily. The best thing he could do now would be to leave her to think.

Probably. Maybe it was the worst thing, but he was committed now.

"Don't forget...you know where I am" he said, before quietly leaving the house so he could disapparate home.

[out]

Gaston said that they shouldn’t talk about it any more tonight and she nodded. It wasn’t that she agreed with this. Her worries were constantly on her mind no matter what she did. She felt that she could not focus on other aspects of her life anymore.

However, the Russian witch was aware that most other people had lives quite different from hers. Gaston had listened, had offered comfort, but, realistically, what could he do? She was dealing with these problems for a while and had no solution. Her friend could hardly achieve a miracle and solve all her problems in one night.

“Yeah, it’s getting late,” she agreed belatedly. “I’ll owl you if there’s any news… Actually I’ll owl you no matter what.”

She didn’t see herself travelling to France for just an hour or two, but the offer was kind and she appreciated it.

“Of course, I do. Thank you for checking on me.” He left the house and Alyona stayed where she was, staring at the door through which her friend had disappeared. Maybe she could travel to France for just a few hours at some point and pretend that things weren’t quite as complicated as they appeared.

[end]