Author Topic:  i know it's over | kate  (Read 1157 times)

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413 Posts 22 Bisexual played by ashton
Re: i know it's over | kate
« Reply #15 on: April 15, 2023, 10:13:40 PM »
Kate had suspected he might be angry or upset to find she hadn’t sold the first property they’d jointly owned together, but she hadn’t anticipated that Charlie would be surprised. Of course, when she’d found out he sold their house in Maida Vale, that had been hurtful–really stung, even–but underneath all those emotions she’d understood why.

Charlie was a deceptively sensitive person, which was why it continually confused Kate that he had such a hard time understanding other people’s emotions and why they did the things they did. Kate jumped at the opportunity to meet others in the middle and to get to know them better, what they liked, all the things that made people tick–not that Charlie wasn’t good at that when he wanted to be, but it seemed less of a natural inclination for him. Most of his sensitivities were wrapped up in whatever passionate feelings he was experiencing in that moment, and Kate felt everything from her own to his to her cat’s–almost like she had an antenna for this stuff.

He looked so innocent and soft staring at her that Kate had to sever the eye contact for a second to think.

She couldn’t even think of a decent explanation to provide him with, and shrugged in lieu of one. “I…” Kate started and looked at him again, searching his eyes, “Just didn’t feel right.”


gracias   a   la   vida   que   me   ha   dado   tanto,   me   dio   el   corazón   que   agita   su   marco
cuando   miro   el   bueno   tan   lejos   del   malo,   cuando   miro   el   fondo   de   tus   ojos   claros

1407 Posts 29 candy girl he/him played by laura
Re: i know it's over | kate
« Reply #16 on: April 15, 2023, 11:09:43 PM »
Fuck, he shouldn’t have asked that – but it was too late to take it back. And even if he could, he wasn’t sure he would. His insatiable ego wanted to know why as much as the sliver of himself that still loved her did (whether he acknowledged that part of him still existed or not).

She looked away and Charlie slowly pulled back to his side of the table to sit upright where he’d unconsciously leaned in towards her. She shrugged and he swallowed, preparing himself for whatever destructive honesty was about to be launched his way—

Kate met his eyes and he exhaled through his nose, his expression pre-emptively hardening against her softness – a defence mechanism. Just didn’t feel right, she said, and Charlie intentionally kept his features stoic in the face of such a half-hearted answer. But he knew what she meant, even without her putting it into words. He hadn’t sold their home in Maida Vale without some sorrow – it had never been the house he had wanted, but it had felt like their home, and the whole reason he had rid himself of it was an attempt to rid himself of her. She had been in every room; in the colour on the walls, in the wooden floors, even the brass door handles – it had all been her, and he couldn’t remain there, haunted by her.

He couldn’t understand how she could keep the villa, with all of its reminders – except, of course, expressly for that purpose. “Right,” he said quietly, in lieu of something more substantial.

That sat between them for a moment, and neither of them looked away, and he was grateful for the emptiness of the place they were in, the no man’s land of it, and the lashing of the rain and the howling wind outside – seemingly providing a sense of the emotions they weren’t able to express (or was it just him? But no, he was sure she felt it too). And was it always going to be like this? Every time they crossed paths there was push and pull, righteous anger and unspoken longing – and what did he want, anyway? He wanted to forget her, to move on.

He lowered his gaze to the table finally, breaking the contact. “I wish you hadn’t…” he trailed off and wet his lips. Telling her he wished she hadn’t written her book was half a lie, and it was unfair. He exhaled through his nose again in an attempt to dispel the frustration from his tone; “You should have told me.”
 
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413 Posts 22 Bisexual played by ashton
Re: i know it's over | kate
« Reply #17 on: May 05, 2023, 10:37:25 PM »
He hadn’t reacted as badly to her admission or the explanation as she’d expected, but he hadn’t left a whole lot of room for interpretation, either– “right” was a little difficult to read into, and most of this “conversation” had been happening between sentences, lingering wordlessly in the tension that was descending upon them as they moved along and dug deeper, creating a thick fog of confusion.

To be entirely fair to him, Kate was used to doing most of the speaking during their conversations, and very used to providing him with plenty of material to work with. “Just didn’t feel right” was a scant response for her, personally.

She thought about why that might be and landed on a sense of distinct trepidation. Kate felt strong emotions toward Charlie, both positive and negative ones, but she was realizing with a great deal of sadness that they weren’t exactly comfortable around one another anymore. There was a sense of deep understanding and familiarity there, but also one of time spent apart, and not knowing the mundane, everyday bits and pieces that being in a serious relationship informed. Kate knew that it was bad, feeling a pang of sadness, all because she didn’t know which cabinet his cups were in or where he kept his toothbrush. It stung worse to infer that there was probably another toothbrush there that didn’t belong to her.

Kate leaned forward subconsciously when he started speaking again, grabbing her forearm with her fingertips pressed tightly into her skin–it helped to have something tangible to grab when she was feeling anxious. She frowned when he didn’t finish, and the next thing he said still didn’t give her crystal-clear context.

Should have told him what? About the book, about her feelings, about the house? There wasn’t much else to say about the villa, now, he knew she still had it–so a reference to the book seemed more likely.

“I didn’t know what to say,” Kate told him quietly. “I didn’t know if you’d even want me to tell you. And I was scared to.”
« Last Edit: May 06, 2023, 01:49:47 AM by ashton »


gracias   a   la   vida   que   me   ha   dado   tanto,   me   dio   el   corazón   que   agita   su   marco
cuando   miro   el   bueno   tan   lejos   del   malo,   cuando   miro   el   fondo   de   tus   ojos   claros

1407 Posts 29 candy girl he/him played by laura
Re: i know it's over | kate
« Reply #18 on: June 07, 2023, 05:19:30 PM »
She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know if he’d even want her to tell him. And she was scared to do so. Charlie sighed again and glanced at Kate, keeping his attention on her once he’d found her eyes. “You could’ve—” owled? Really? He pressed his lips together. Maybe she could have, but would he have read it? (Yes.) Would he have replied? (Less likely.) Depending on when she had done so would have prompted different possible responses, but he liked to think—for Honey’s sake, for his own selfish pride—that he wouldn’t have caved, wouldn’t have gone to her.

He hadn’t run to her once he had found out about the book. Largely because he had found out with Honey, he supposed (she was the one who got the Prophet delivered, and he'd woken up there thay morning). Would he have, if the circumstances of the discovery had been different? He’d never know now, but again, he wanted to believe he wouldn’t. It was like if he told himself enough times that he was over Kate, that he didn’t feel anything, that it would be true.

But sitting here across from her it was hard to deny that he felt something. It wasn’t the same as it had been when they’d first met, or when she’d moved in, or when he’d started sleeping with other women again, or when they’d gotten married, or the honeymoon period that had followed that, or when he’d gone back to sleeping with other women again... It was a distant affection. He cared, he wanted her not to look so sad, not to be lonely, but he didn’t want (or trust) himself to be the person that changed those things.

Charlie wet his lips and let out a softer sigh through his nose. “Scared because you thought I’d be mad, or because you thought I wouldn’t care?” Before she could answer, he realised he was baiting her for his own benefit. He cleared his throat quietly and shook his head once, as though shaking the conversation off. “It would’ve been nice not to be ambushed with it,” he told her evenly, addressing the table.
 
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413 Posts 22 Bisexual played by ashton
Re: i know it's over | kate
« Reply #19 on: July 03, 2023, 11:59:00 PM »
Kate’s eyebrows rose gently at the same time he spoke. She could’ve what? He didn’t bother to follow up, so surely he was thinking the same thing she was–there was no way she could’ve broken the news that would have been well-received by him. Even if he’d wanted to respond to any of it in a positive way, Kate wasn’t sure that would have been possible, for… logistical reasons.

She couldn’t help but to feel a swell of curiosity build in her chest when she thought about how the news of her book had gone down in an interaction. Between him and… her. She didn’t like to think her silly, childish nickname, didn’t like to linger any longer than she had to on whatever that was between them. None of this was about that, anyway, and Charlie didn’t exactly seem eager to mention it.

There was a long pause between that initial protest of his and what he said next, which led Kate to believe that the wheels hadn’t stopped turning, and probably wouldn’t. For all she knew, smoke could come out of his ears any second.

It was interesting to think of how little he typically said and what tended to make it past the filter–sometimes it was a grunt, sometimes it was a scathing remark, and sometimes it was something… inexplicably, uncharacteristically (for his image) tender. She was sure that was why some of the things he’d said to her over the years, and even some smaller gestures of his, had been so significant. Like showing up in Shackamaxon for her birthday.

Charlie revised his approach midway, but Kate wasn’t about to forget that, and she fully intended to answer. It was fair game; it had escaped his mouth. “Well, both, Charlie, if I’m honest.” She told him neutrally, even though her soft face told a very different, nervous story.  “You’ve always been a little hard to read, but. Even more, now, that we’re…” Kate stopped. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you. But you know now, so,” Her shoulders lifted into a tiny shrug.

“... Have you read it?” She asked, jumping off the metaphorical ledge. He’d mentioned the art, earlier, but he could’ve noticed that with a quick little flip through, didn’t mean he’d actually read it.


gracias   a   la   vida   que   me   ha   dado   tanto,   me   dio   el   corazón   que   agita   su   marco
cuando   miro   el   bueno   tan   lejos   del   malo,   cuando   miro   el   fondo   de   tus   ojos   claros

1407 Posts 29 candy girl he/him played by laura
Re: i know it's over | kate
« Reply #20 on: July 16, 2023, 03:09:28 AM »
Kate didn’t let him off easily, latching onto his question despite his attempt to brush over it. Charlie’s jaw set into a soft scowl, and he averted his gaze again when she trailed off. The bitter part of him found it ironic that she had been the one to file for a divorce and yet she couldn’t seem to say it aloud – but he knew that Kate had martyred herself for his sake.

She apologised and he fidgeted, and there was a loud gale that rattled the nearest window in the pause before she spoke again. Charlie lifted his head from where he’d been staring into the middle-distance and met her eyes. Had he read it? He frowned; of course he had, he’d already told her as much, hadn’t he? Was she trying to make him squirm the same way he did to her? Or, more likely, was she just trying to prolong this conversation, allow it to develop into something else? (And, because he knew the answer, why was he going along with it?)

“Yeah,” he replied, his expression harder than it had been a few moments earlier. He could tell that she was waiting for more, and he shrugged one shoulder, gripped the edge of the table with his thumb and forefingers, and pushed back slightly. He had ‘read’ it with Honey, the once, but that had been more of a skim-read, and he’d been too embarrassed by a lot of it—it had obviously been about him, if the sketches hadn’t made it one hundred percent clear—to take it more sincerely. Too worried about what Honey thought, too worried about being cool to his current girlfriend to empathise with his ex-wife and what he had put her through (and mad, that Kate had put him in that position).

He’d read it one more time since, alone, in secret – and it hadn’t filled him with the same embarrassment he’d felt going through it with Honey, but instead with a mixture of resentment, and guilt, and—as he was sure Kate was hoping—a vague longing, a barely surfaced desire to reconcile – at least to the point it was clear to her that he didn’t hate her. The problem with Kate was that if he gave her an inch she’d take a mile – and wasn’t that why he had felt the need to spoil every interaction they’d had since splitting that had veered too close to pleasant?

With her in front of him now he couldn’t recall a specific poem or even a line in its entirety, but singular words came to mind out of context, and so did the emotions they’d stirred, if slightly muted now. “I don’t know what you’re expecting me to say,” he told her. “I can’t— You don’t need to know what I think.”
 
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413 Posts 22 Bisexual played by ashton
Re: i know it's over | kate
« Reply #21 on: July 17, 2023, 11:54:05 PM »
He was wrong about one thing, and it was that she had any expectations. Kate was expectationless, that was why she hadn’t sent him any kind of communication in order to figure out whether he’d read her book or not, and it was why she hadn’t demanded to know anything about his life.

Even more obviously than those things, it was because she truly hadn’t been expecting to see him here; he was still the real bigshot and had plenty of things to do that didn’t involve diddling around in a used bookstore. Then again, she supposed she could come up with “plenty of things to do,” too, and here she sat.

She could see that having asked about his knowledge of the book’s contents had annoyed–even upset him, so she decided then not to press the “issue” further. Kate would diffuse, as she usual, because Charlie had a more difficult time understanding than Kate did that others didn’t always have an agenda or ulterior motives.

She wondered if that was in part because of his career and all the scheisty characters he’d interacted with, or if it was because he tended to think that way himself and couldn’t differentiate that perhaps other people’s minds worked in various ways. Probably some complex mixture of both. He was a complex mixture.

“No, I don’t need to know,” Kate agreed with him willingly and shrugged her shoulders. “I was just curious. Like you said earlier, I… didn’t reach out to tell you, so I really had no idea. It’s not my business.”

She nodded over toward the counter. “I might go pay for these books, and… get a coffee afterward at the shop next door, if you want to come with me. No pressure.”


gracias   a   la   vida   que   me   ha   dado   tanto,   me   dio   el   corazón   que   agita   su   marco
cuando   miro   el   bueno   tan   lejos   del   malo,   cuando   miro   el   fondo   de   tus   ojos   claros

1407 Posts 29 candy girl he/him played by laura
Re: i know it's over | kate
« Reply #22 on: August 22, 2023, 12:04:59 AM »
Kate agreed with him and that alone took Charlie aback. Not that she hadn’t pretty much always been agreeable to whatever he’d wanted, but that she didn’t need to know what he thought, so, still in-line with surprising him. She went on to admit she was curious, and he nodded once in understanding (and smothered any sort of smug uh huh thoughts). 

He had made it unbearable enough that she wanted to leave— but then there was an offer to accompany her, and he wasn’t sure how to interpret that, let alone what he wanted (should) do (say no).

“Erm,” he looked at the windows, the rain still lashing. He wasn’t in a hurry to walk to the nearest alleyway, he didn’t think he could linger in here now, with all of his thoughts, and—perhaps most crucially—he wanted to prolong this, despite knowing that was the last thing he should do. “Yeah, I’ve got time for one drink,” he said, getting up slowly.

“I’ll go ahead and order,” he offered, immediately regretting it because she was probably about to rattle off one of her silly triple-shot-caramel-cold-foam-no-whip-whatever-else-she-could-fit-in-a-cup-as-big-as-her-head orders, but she stumped him with A vanilla latte. His eyebrows rose, unable to hide his surprise. “Right,” he said, “I’ll see you in there.”

He left her at the bookshop counter and popped his collar up to make the quick trip next door, jogging through the rain and arriving wetter than if he had probably just jumped in a bath fully clothed. He struggled with getting his wallet out of his back pocket for a minute, ordering her vanilla latte and his own mocha, paying and taking the little number to a table in the corner, beside the window. He shrugged out of his jacket and draped it over the back of his chair, where it dripped onto the floor. He tugged at the material of his damp t-shirt where it had clung to his stomach as he watched her hurry through the blurry-with-rain window, taking a seat and filling with unease as though it had seared into him from the chair itself. 
 
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413 Posts 22 Bisexual played by ashton
Re: i know it's over | kate
« Reply #23 on: September 13, 2023, 12:07:07 AM »
Her request for a vanilla latte had clearly stumped him. It wasn’t hard to figure out why, because for a long time she’d preferred complicated drinks with alternative milks, different foams on top, different drizzles, that sort of thing—these days, however, she found herself more attracted to simplicity, and to things that were well-crafted, staples in and of themselves, so much so that they didn’t need fancy additions or accoutrements. This most clearly applied to coffee in this instance, but it could easily apply to other things. Kate realized that she enjoyed stumping him quite a lot.

She waited for him to leave and watched him make a mad dash next door with a smile pulling up the corners of her mouth. He would undoubtedly be drenched when she got over there, which after a split second concerned Kate for the welfare of her newly selected books. “Hmm,” She frowned, settling on the idea of trying to execute a water-repelling charm quickly enough to ward off most of the impending damage once she got outside.

Under normal circumstances, she’d do it in here, but she couldn’t in front of this well-meaning shopkeeper, she’d have to get away from his watchful eye first. Was it strange she spent almost as much (if not more) time frequenting Muggle establishments than wizarding ones? She knew whose influence that was, which disturbed her considerably more than the mere absence of magical quality.

Kate thanked the attentive shopkeeper in question when her transaction was finished and clutched her bagful of books close to her side, opening the door to greet the wild rain thundering down on the building (and now her head). Kate tried to keep the top of her bag shut as tightly as possible as she muttered “Impervius,” skittering out into the growing puddles for a few steps to get in the door of the café.

The café wasn’t a particularly large space, so it only took one squinty scan for her to find him sat next to the window. Kate followed suit and sat directly across from him, setting her books on the floor and then folding her hands neatly on the table.

“Looks like you got a little wet, there,” She nodded once at his shirt. “What did you get? Mocha?” Like usual.


gracias   a   la   vida   que   me   ha   dado   tanto,   me   dio   el   corazón   que   agita   su   marco
cuando   miro   el   bueno   tan   lejos   del   malo,   cuando   miro   el   fondo   de   tus   ojos   claros

1407 Posts 29 candy girl he/him played by laura
Re: i know it's over | kate
« Reply #24 on: October 15, 2023, 08:04:17 PM »
The little bell over the door was almost drowned out by the weather outside as Kate entered the cafe. She spotted him quickly and approached. He felt uneasy. Was it normal to feel so guilt-ridden over having something as simple as a coffee? But he knew it was because of who he was having the coffee with, and because he was planning for nobody to know he had had said coffee, and—

He glanced down at his shirt, still clinging to his body—probably adding to the general uncomfortable feeling that had settled over him—and then looked back up at Kate. “Er, yeah.” He had gotten wet. It was raining. He wasn’t sure if she was trying to insinuate something or if she was just struggling with the concept of small talk with an ex as much as he was. “You didn’t,” he pointed out, noting she was considerably drier than he was – the perks of being competent at magic.

Mocha? “Yeah,” he answered, immediately second-guessing if he should have ordered something she wouldn’t have been able to guess, or just something that might cool him down now that he had an unpleasant warmth to his cheeks and his neck – warmth he was blaming on his damp clothes, silently smothering him from his calves to his chest. “I got your latte,” he said, then swallowed. “I should’ve— Did you want anything from the cabinet?”

 
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413 Posts 22 Bisexual played by ashton
Re: i know it's over | kate
« Reply #25 on: November 02, 2023, 11:19:11 PM »
“I’d do it for you,” Kate said, then cleared her throat as she realized how many ways that could be interpreted, “Dry you off, I mean. With—magic,” Now they would both be embarrassed, but Kate wasn’t hating it.

She hadn’t missed that little flicker, and she didn’t know why it had taken him this long to remember she knew him, she wasn’t just some hanger-on who’d chosen to make a book to profit off his name. Kate had thought that would have been obvious, but Charlie had not typically been a go-getter in terms of facing the truth, he preferred—whether knowingly or not—to circle in slowly toward it like a tapered spring, only truly acknowledging when he’d gotten down to the bottom of the wire.

Kate pressed her lips together and looked him up and down, trying to focus on something else but his eyes, and then getting distracted by the wet t-shirt, then being re-distracted by thinking he would notice if she lingered too long, then—

She nodded toward the menu. “I’ll let you guess what I’d pick, so we’re even.” This was weird. Weirder than the last time, and she hadn’t even been aware it could be weirder than last time.


gracias   a   la   vida   que   me   ha   dado   tanto,   me   dio   el   corazón   que   agita   su   marco
cuando   miro   el   bueno   tan   lejos   del   malo,   cuando   miro   el   fondo   de   tus   ojos   claros

1407 Posts 29 candy girl he/him played by laura
Re: i know it's over | kate
« Reply #26 on: November 13, 2023, 07:12:32 PM »
I’d do it for you. Charlie’s brow furrowed before rising, confused by what exactly Kate was offering until— Right. He cleared his throat softly. “S’alright,” he dismissed her, glancing around the cafe before settling back on the witch in front of him. “Can’t, here,” he added, as if that explanation was necessary – as if he needed a reason to not want her aiming her wand at him (he wasn’t quite confident that her emotions wouldn’t overwhelm her and he’d be cursed into next week).

It was quiet for a long minute, and he watched her warm brown eyes glance away, lower (not that low, the table was between them), then back up. He inhaled deeply, still not shifting that smothered feeling. She’d let him guess. Great. Charlie pulled the menu from the little holder and scanned down it quickly, frowning in concentration (and in perplexion, that he’d saddled himself into this predicament).

“Erm.” His gaze kept being drawn back to the decadent chocolate cake that he knew he would be ordering for Honey, if he was sat across from her—his girlfriend—but he wasn’t, he was having coffee with his ex, and she had never had the sweet tooth Honey did. He wet his lips, reading over the other options again. “There’s a… lemon danish or—” his dark eyes flicked up and down the list furiously, “—a salmon bagel?” He sounded unsure because he was – he had known her once, but she was increasingly surprising him every time their paths crossed.
 
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413 Posts 22 Bisexual played by ashton
Re: i know it's over | kate
« Reply #27 on: November 14, 2023, 10:18:46 PM »
“I know,” She told him immediately, gently—when he reminded her she wasn’t allowed to do magic in broad daylight in front of a flock of Muggles. She’d even taken to calling them that, of course, in the U.S. it was No-Maj, but Muggle was objectively a lot more fun and zany to say, in her personal opinion. She could’ve done it for him outside, but he’d been in a hurry to get away from her for a moment’s peace, she supposed, before they’d come together again. Come together, she added in her mind, at a tiny, claustrophobic, no room for errors table.

His eyes were frantically scanning the menu up and down, and she remembered quickly how many times she’d seen him deep in thought like this, and how often she’d enjoyed watching him do whatever it was that required that level of concentration. Writing music was the main one, but he could be quiet and studious about a lot of things. He was the type to read the dictionary and classic novels, not to sit around and rot on the couch for hours on end—not that doing that every once in awhile was a bad thing. After all, Kate owned a television set because of Charlie.

She stayed quiet and sat patiently while he assessed his options, and after a minute she had half a mind to pipe up and tell him that it wasn’t a test, there were no wrong answers (well, maybe not that god-awful chocolate cake).

He was speaking tremulously at first, which didn’t go unnoticed—Kate hoped the light in her eyes would reassure him as he went along, recollecting tiny bits and bobs about her as they traveled a little further down memory lane.

“No, that’s. They both sound good, actually, do you want to split them?” She shrugged and smothered the grin bubbling up in her throat.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2023, 10:24:51 PM by ashton »


gracias   a   la   vida   que   me   ha   dado   tanto,   me   dio   el   corazón   que   agita   su   marco
cuando   miro   el   bueno   tan   lejos   del   malo,   cuando   miro   el   fondo   de   tus   ojos   claros

1407 Posts 29 candy girl he/him played by laura
Re: i know it's over | kate
« Reply #28 on: January 15, 2024, 07:02:47 PM »
He had done such a good job at guessing that she actually wanted them. Charlie’s eyes widened a little in surprise, not having put two-and-two together until she laid out the answer for him. “Er,” he hesitated, not because he was unable to afford splitting a danish and a bagel (or paying for both), but because he hadn’t thought through the logistics of locking himself into this interaction for longer.

But she meant splitting it to share, he realised after another moment. “I don’t— Not a big fan of salmon,” he explained, not unkindly. He wouldn’t blame her for not knowing that about him, he’d pushed through and eaten it a few times for her sake when they’d been together, but there was a reason he gravitated towards the sushi made with chicken. He didn’t particularly want to eat half a lemon danish either, but he thought if he declined both it would be more awkward than this already was. “I’ll— just go get it,” he said, getting up from his chair and unintentionally scraping it loudly across the tiled floor. He grimaced and made for the counter.

He ordered the bagel, and the danish, and a sausage roll for himself. He paid and returned to the table, almost glad for a second go at settling into this.

All he could think about to talk about were two topics they’d broached in the bookshop, and he didn’t think it would be smart to inquire further about either of them, but— “Do you still go there?” he asked. The villa. He was curious to know if it sat empty, or if she went alone, or with friends – or a lover. He remembered the tabloid with Harlan Bellamy spotted there, and it took every ounce of willpower not to ask about that (yet).
 
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