dying stars; beating hearts { phillip }

It was a rare thing; a moment of peace, alone in the common room.

She’d gotten back from a prefect’s patrol about an hour or so, so it was pitch black outside, and tonight it was positively pissing down, not that she’d use those exact words, of course. The rain hit the glass window beside them rhythmically, drowning out the gentle crackle of the fire, or any faraway footsteps. The whole world seemed to be asleep, and as Billie and her boyfriend were sat in the little nook beside the biggest window in the common room, facing one another, legs overlapping a little, she felt like they were the only people that existed.

“Um, so…” Billie trailed off, glancing down for a moment before looking back up at him, her head resting against the cool glass window. “You said not to get you anything, and – no I didn’t,” she said quickly, catching his expression. She couldn’t help but smile, though, giving herself away. “I – Okay,” she said, trying not to laugh. She straightened up and drew an envelope from her robes, then pressed it into his hands. “So I did write you this incredibly sappy letter. Wait, no, you mustn’t read it until I’m not here because it’s truly, embarrassingly, sappy.” Billie put her hands over his, gently stopping him from opening the envelope. She’d probably have to throw herself out of the large window beside them if he opened it right here, in front of her.

The rain was loud, and there was a slight echo where they were, against the foggy glass. “And… This.” She pulled back, reaching for a small box from her pocket. She held it for a moment, debating about whether or not she should explain first, or let him see it before she started speaking. The box itself was a similar size to the one that her necklace had come in last February, though it was greyish and plain. She hesitated, then pressed it into his hands, too. Less laughter now. “Open it,” she urged softly.

The calmness that fell over Phillip was almost tangible; there was something so peaceful about just being around Billie, and every time he was with her, he was reminded of it. They had sat in this common room together so often, but it always felt new and exciting. Her voice brought him back out of the book he'd been reading, the passage she had pointed out specifically, and his green eyes found hers with a smile. She didn't, did she? Phillip had asked her not to make a big deal about his birthday, and he had meant it when he did. The wizard didn't care for birthdays, except for her birthday, of course.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat but tried to keep it from showing on his face as she paused and then brought out of a bit of parchment from her robe. The need to read whatever she had written right here, right now, was overwhelming, but Phillip nodded. He would respect her wishes, despite his growing curiosity, and he tucked the letter away into his pocket.

And then she passed a box that looked very much like a present over to him, Phillip wanted to tell her she shouldn't have, but the words didn't come. Instead, he half smiled, reaching for the box and chewing on the inside of his lip. He knew whatever she had picked out would be amazing. Billie was the most thoughtful witch he had ever met. And he felt a strange wave of anticipation was over him as he began to pull on the top of the box.

"Oh," he began, his eyes finding the gift inside with pleasant surprise.

“It’s not a big deal,'' she clarified, unable to resist starting an explanation before he’d even opened the box. “Though I know it’s… A little unconventional,” Billie said, leaning in slightly a moment before he opened the lid, unable to resist. She expected he’d have reservations, and that she’d have to explain. “And it’s not what you think, it’s more…” More what, abstract than the obvious? More representative? “More ...of a concept?” She almost held her breath as he pulled the key out of the box.

“It’s the key for the Maidstone house,” She breathed, resting her hands on the knee of the leg he had propped up between them. “Don’t worry, I’m not giving you a house or anything,” she added quickly, resting her chin on her hands, giving him a small smile. “I just thought, for the winter break…” She trailed off, watching his expression, then sped up again. “...And you don’t have to stay there! Not if you don’t want to. But you could have a space, whenever you wanted, all of your own... Like a holiday.”

They’d brushed on this once, but afterward, neither of them had brought it up again. Billie had done a lot of reflection since they’d had that conversation on the old, weathered roof of the estate Phillip’s uncle managed. At the time, she hadn’t understood why he was resistant to the idea of just living there once he’d finished school – it wasn’t like she was using the space. Billie’s understandings of things like charity and wealth were vastly different to his. But she was trying to understand, and she hoped that all of the different trails of thought that had led her here were evident; she hoped that he knew that this offer wasn’t coming from the same place it had then.

“And I could come and visit you, too, and it could really be like our space,” she dropped her gaze then, a little red in her cheeks. Phillip didn't have a space that was his – he hadn't for some time. As someone who'd been moved around a lot, and lived with different guardians too, Billie understood that. Kendrick had been her rock these past few years, and these days, Phillip was her place. She wanted to be that for him too. "It's all in the letter," she breathed, half in response to her own errant thoughts and half an explanation. She flicked her gaze up to meet his.

There were a million reasons it might be nice for Phillip to actually be able to call a space his own, even if it was only for a couple of weeks over the Christmas break. She hadn't put all of these reasons in the letter – that wasn't the main point – anyway, but she assumed he could think of some of them himself.

When he first pulled the lid from the box, Phillip hadn't been entirely sure what the key meant; he had an idea, he was clever enough to put it together, but it took her explaining it out loud for him truly accept it. A key to the Maidstone house. It was so much more than just a key to Phillip; it was more than just a place he could go or a place they could be together. She said it was a concept, and it meant the world to the wizard. He didn't have anywhere to go after Hogwarts, and he was painfully aware of it. Phillip had stayed at Keithcairn for as long as the Ministry had forced him, and he stayed in William's apartment by Winifred's grace last summer, but in truth, he had no home. He belonged nowhere.

The key made him feel like maybe that wasn't wholly true anymore. Maybe, he belonged right here, with her. And in a matter of seconds, the key took on all of the meanings she was trying to express, all of the things he was feeling, and so much more. "Thank you," Was all he could say as he plucked the ornate hand-twisted key out of the box and rolled it in his fingers. Phillip had never been given a better gift, not that he imagined Billie's present would be anything less than perfect, but he certainly had not expected this to be it.

Phillip had been vehemently against taking up her offer over the summer, it had felt like charity, and Phillip didn't ask nor want help. He was too stubborn to accept it, even when she had offered with the best intentions. And part of him felt the same, felt like he couldn't possibly take this gift, but that voice was quieter now. Drowned out by the torrential rain that was pelting against the panes of glass and the swirling emotion he felt for the beautiful, thoughtful witch in front of him. This wasn't Billie telling him he could stay there like she knew he had nowhere better to go; it wasn't pity or guilt; it was something more. She was inviting him to stay there because she wanted him to. And Phillip didn't miss the mention of her coming to visit, of them being there together, uninterrupted, over winter break.

"I really appreciate this," He finally said after another moment of thought, a smile breaking onto his generally gloomy features, and he brought her hand into his.

"You're welcome," she replied politely, her tone lighter than the look in her eyes as she watched his reaction closely. Her voice echoed a little off of the glass, but it wasn't too noticeable over the sound of the rain. Billie wanted so badly for him to understand what she was saying, but she wasn't sure that she could put it into words. The letter had been her best attempt... But then, she'd always been more eloquent in writing. When he finally smiled, Billie smiled too, relieved and thankful and in love.

Billie reached up and touched her fingertips to his cheek, her movement slow and considered, but not hesitant. She slid her hand forward to lightly cup his face, her fingertips resting just under his ear and her thumb brushing his cheekbone. She smiled, pleased that he’d liked it, especially appreciative that he’d understood it. She hadn’t been sure earlier if the meaning and feeling in her head would translate once it was anywhere but her thoughts.

She was quiet for a moment, just appreciating how lucky she was that she got to see him in intimate moments such as this, late at night in the dark, with rain pouring outside. Lucky that she got to touch his face, to see a swell of something sweet behind his eyes as he looked at her. It made her emotional. “Happy birthday, Phillip,” Billie breathed. Then she leaned in and pressed her lips to his.


/end

Phillip continued to turn the key over in his hand, his eyes moving over the hammered metal sides and the notches; it was a more thoughtful gift than he could have imagined. Finally, he tucked it into his pocket, closing the box it had come in, and set it on the window sill beside him. He smiled at his girlfriend, watching those sea-green eyes smiling back at him, and he felt ridiculously lucky. This was a perfect moment, and despite the burning need to read the letter she'd written him, Phillip silently wished it would never end. That he would never have to go up to the dorms, that she'd never get that adorably sleepy look on her face, that time would stop, and they could stay here all night listening to the rain.

It was too much to ask for, but that didn't stop him from wishing it. Wrapping his hand into hers, Phillip scooted closer as she reached for his face, the touch warming his cheek. If he could stay right here forever, the wizard knew he would be happy. For the first time in forever, Phillip didn't hate that it was his birthday. Last year had been a vital age, turning seventeen and all, but he had still been just as depressed on the actual day. It was hard not to remember all of the good birthdays he'd had when his family was still intact. It was different now, Billie was his family now, and he felt like he could look forward to things like birthdays again.

Leaning into her, Phillip's eyes closed softly as their lips met, and just like it always did, the world around them seemed to melt away. His overactive brain shut off, the voices of panic and paranoia quiet, and all of the sad memories were replaced by the comforting image of her.

[/end]