don't show up, don't come out | jae

"Wait, I--" he started and then stopped, his expression falling as he noticed the change in hers. Damn. Jae knew he had said the wrong thing and he hadn't meant it like that, like an offense. It was just the truth, but now it was out there hanging in the air between them and he wasn't quite sure what to do. Couldn't she see where he was coming from though? "Was just a joke," he muttered in a feeble attempt at playing it off as a joke.

Of course, he should have seen this coming. They were always good for a bit and something inevitably happened to bring it down again. He wondered if things would have turned out better if he had said something different and that thought spurred a series of ideas of how to acquire a timeturner.  Jae sighed out through his nose as his dark eyes caught on his cap in her hands as she folded it in half. It was a good thing he liked his hats with a good curve otherwise she would be ruining it.

"Alright then," he said, hesitating for a moment before he took back his cap and shoved it into his back pocket. What was he gonna say anyway. Something stupid like 'keep it, it looks better on you'? How lame. Even if it was true. So instead he took a shuffling step back towards the doorways that lead down to the common room. "So.. see you Wednesday at the pitch?" He knew he would be in classes with her before then but it was always different when it was just them vs them with everyone else.

Jae seemed as put off by the turn of events as Mavis felt, and she was unsure how to think about that. On the one hand, it could have been a bridge back to the way they had been five minutes ago, but on the other, she was pretty sure she was supposed to defend her friends and be mad at him for saying it. Even though he said it was a joke, she still felt weird about it. And even though he seemed like he genuinely had not set out to upset her, Mavis still shrugged at him. "I know," She lied and then held the hat out to him. It should have been so easy to walk it back.

They should have figured out how to find common ground by now, after all these years, but it seemed like the further into teenagerhood they got, the more complex everything seemed to be. Simple things had so much meaning now, and sentences that should have been jokes turned into insults.

"Yeah, I will see you then," And there was something so final about the statements they shared now. Like they were both agreeing not to talk until then, even though they knew they'd see each other before. Mavis hated that they lived in two separate worlds when they were kids and that it seemed like that had carried over into Hogwarts. Things were more straightforward when it was just the two of them, sure, but it was never just simple with Jae. One wrong step and it felt like they were nine years old again screaming at each other on the porch until his grandmother inevitably came out to break them up.

"Bye Jae," She said, giving him another strained look, one corner of her mouth pulling up, but it wasn't a smile, more like a consolation. Mavis turned to head toward the Great Hall, and silently, she wished she hadn't given him his hat back so she'd have an excuse to talk to him before Wednesday.

/end

He nodded again at her 'I know' and he wasn't sure if she said it to make him feel better but it didn't. What were the alternatives? Take back his answer and say something like 'yes I would love to eat dinner with you and your friends as you talk about things that I have no references on and make inside jokes that I'm not apart of'? Yeah, that was an easy no. Still, it was tempting...

But no. He knew how that would turn out. "Alright," he said as they confirmed for Wednesday and he took another step back. Mostly because he didn't know what else to say and he didn't like that look on her face. Like he had said the wrong thing even though it was the truth. "Bye," he echoed as he watched her turn and made himself do the same, his footsteps on the stairs down to the common room sounding flat and hollow.

/end