something good can work. [tag; camm]

Christmas time!

Alright. Perhaps it was a bit premature but she liked Christmas! It was a bit too early to be getting into the spirit of things but little signs of the festive season were already starting to emerge. Just little ones like a bit more red in shop windows, the drastic drop in the temperature and the latest delivery of ground cinnamon.

Of course, she'd be alone this Christmas. She didn't think she'd ever spent the holidays without a significant other. There had been Landon and then Logan and most recently, Ernie. Despite them not working out, it was difficult not to feel a stabbing pain in her heart. Still! At least she could drink copious amounts of alcohol and not be judged for it. Happy days.

In the kitchen of Crust and Crumbs, Maddie was clocking off. She'd been in since six that morning to help make the bread dough for the sweet buns. Not that she minded because kneading bread was wonderfully therapeutic. She'd spent about an hour punching the living Hell out of the dough to ensure elasticity from the gluten strands but enriched dough was more difficult to work with.

She deftly hung up her apron on the hook on the wall and fluffed out her long blonde curls, shrugging on her woollen blazer and buttoning it up securely over her pretty purple dress. Her pale hands were warm and she smelt faintly of sugar and vanilla as she rested her fedora on top of her head, bidding everyone a cheery goodbye. She'd worked today so she didn’t have to work tomorrow. Sundays were her reading-books-on-the-sofa-in-her-underwear-with-a-bottle-of-wine day.

It was strange cooking for one. She was so used to making dinner for two and as a result, she'd sort of given up. The only baking she did now was because she was getting paid for it and her joie de vivre had taken a bit of a battering. There was one thing Paris was good for however and that was the food. She lived near a market held once a week and she was planning on hopping on over there as soon as she got some space of apparition.

"Oooh," Maddie remarked, her honey coloured eyes wide as she found herself accidentally in the middle of a gaggle of school children. "Ow," she complained as she frowned. "Sorry," she blabbered, lifting her arms above her head so a stray elbow didn't whack a student in the side of the head. There was so many! It was fairly early, too. Just after eleven in the morning. Maybe they had shopping to do?

After all of the shoving and pushing, Madeline teetered on her heels, one hand keeping her hat in place as she let out a quick breath. Lovely. She tutted darkly, straightening her blazer as she crossed the worn cobbles to the other side of the street. The tall blonde hadn't been paid yet but there was this really lovely (but really expensive) oil she'd seen in Dogweed & Deathcap. It was pure peony oil and it smelt divine and it'd be really wonderful in a hot bubble bath.

The only money she had on her was enough for her to pop into The Magic Neep, the greengrocers, for some fresh veggies she could roast to add to her pasta for dinner. Unbeknownst to Maddie, there were little granules of sugar in her hair that glistened in the light.

Stepping towards the shop and bringing her own environmentally friendly shopping bags with her, her eye was caught by a solitary boy, standing away a little from the others with a camera in his hands. The sight made her smile. When she was his age, she was doing the exact same thing. "Nice camera," she said gently behind him with a smile, tilting her head a little and totally not realising the student in front of her was her ex-boyfriend's little brother.

It had been raining for a while now. Rain wasn’t pleasant, especially in November, in London. It was the kind of cold that seemed to seep into his bones and stayed there until Camm felt like a puppet that was rusty in the joints. It was also the best weather for moping, which was all he did throughout the week. And if it wasn’t for the fact that it cleared up just in time for his Hogsmeade weekend he might have considered just staying in bed. Bollocks to homework, to girlfriends, to a bright future. Warm blankets and a mug of hot chocolate was what he could count on, and quite frankly, the only silver lining. If only Logan could see him now. He’d be so proud.

And yet two hours later he found himself standing in the middle of the cobblestoned streets of Hogsmeade with a camera in his hands. His exact words when some of his friends invited him for a casual game of Quidditch was: ’Uh, you guys go ahead. I think I’ll dust off the old camera and see you guys later.’ And it did, it really needed some dusting off. It laid in a corner of his trunk with other things that he didn’t want to be reminded of, and Camm hated to think that it was yet another thing that he had given up on. Photography was one of the few things that he could say that he was at least decent at, and he just wanted to be one of those people who were good at something. And right now, standing alone in Hogsmeade, he could at least get back into the habit of trying.

At a quarter past ten the streets were fairly unoccupied, and the only thing for him to shoot were, well, the streets. And of course the buildings. But Cameron has always been uninspired by scenery. He’s not someone who truly appreciates the beauty of houses, or fields, and yet most of his photographs that he has had developed featured it. He had always wanted to shoot people, but finding a model seemed unnatural to him, and there was no way he would even be able to approach someone about that. Damn him and his nerves. And standing on the corner taking pictures of his younger schoolmates definitely wasn’t creepy at all. Camm’s ears heated up a little when he thought of how other people might perceive him, but he forced his mind not to go there. Just focus on the pictures Camm.

And it almost worked. Camm was almost completely immersed in his own world, snapping pictures of his younger schoolmates as they leave Honeydukes holding bags of candy like all the gold in the world. So a voice, even a soft, feminine one, was enough to scare him into almost dropping his camera. “Uh, t-th-thanks. Um. You’re Madeleine, M-maddie, right?” Great. He meets his brother’s ex-girlfriend who didn’t seem to remember him and once again he was reduced to that awkward twelve-year-old Camm. “I’m Camm, I’m Logan’s brother? You know, your ex-boyfriend?” He wanted to slap himself the moment his words were out of his mouth. “I totally won’t blame you if you want to punch me right now.” Camm offered an apologetic grin and hoped that Madeleine won’t hate him too bad. Merlin help him...

Hold on. Madeline's big honey coloured eyes widened considerably as she heard the stammer. It took less than a second for her to realise who the boy was. "Camm!" She called, a beatific smile lighting up her pretty face. She crossed the distance and threw her arms around his neck and pulled him bodily towards her for a quick hug, forgetting the fact that most boys his age were probably a bit weirded out by girls.

She stepped back and grinned at him, nodding so eagerly that a long blonde curl escaped her ponytail and curled against the curve of her shoulder. "Right," she said with a sunny smile. "You look great!" she gushed, eyes sparkling in the winter sun. Had he grown? It was probably impolite to ask. "Of course I know it's you," she said softly, reaching out to fondly squeeze the Hufflepuff's shoulder gently. Why would he think she wouldn't recognise him? Maddie had a good eye for faces and a great memory for names and she was rather apt at putting the two together.

"How are you?" she asked, genuinely interested in hearing how he was faring. She hoped Camm was well. He was a soft soul, from what she remembered. Very quiet and empathetic. She hoped no one was bullying him otherwise she'd have to punch a few people. She looked up, figuring Camm's school mates were the subject of his photographs. Good choice. People were always so exciting to photograph. They were always vastly different. As soon as it started to snow, it'd be beautiful. In that moment, she felt a pang of loss; she missed Hogwarts. She wasn't ready to be a fully grown adult.

Oh, right. Logan.

Maddie hadn't spoken to Cameron's older brother since before her wedding, she thought. She had no idea what he was doing now. Where he was living, what he was doing, if he was still at the theatre, if he had a girlfriend. She assumed he had. He was handsome and charming and had one of those smiles that could make ice melt. "How is Logan?" The tall blonde asked with another smile, hoping that both Erskine boys were coping. Glenn, too. She'd always liked their older brother. Except that time she'd visited and he'd offered her hash brownies and she'd thrown up everywhere. Urgh.

"Why on Earth would want to I punch you?" Maddie asked with wide eyes, looking and feeling visibly distressed by his comment. She frowned at him, her slim eyebrows knitting together in confusion. She blinked at Camm placidly, wondering if there was something she was missing. There usually was, come to think of it. She wasn't the most observant person and it was quickly becoming an issue.

"Can I see?" Madeline asked, nodding to his camera as she held her hands out for it. She hadn't handled a camera in, what? Six months? Maybe longer? Working two jobs and discovering her new penchant for wine, there hadn't been much time. Maybe when it got a bit closer to Christmas and snow blanketed an otherwise dirty, unfriendly Paris. She'd remembered the first time she'd been given a magical camera. The pure joy she'd felt still made her feel a bit warm and fuzzy inside.

"Hey, are you hungry?" She asked Camm quickly, nodding to The Three Broomsticks. "Fancy getting some lunch? C'mon. My treat," she said brightly. "Plus, it's bloody freezing outside and I'm starving," she complained, stomping her nearly frozen feet against the cold, hard cobble stones and wrinkling her nose in distaste. "I want to hear all about how you've been and how your photography is coming along. I bet you're so good now," she said wistfully, feeling a stab of jealously that she quickly dismissed. "Come on. In you go. I'll get you a butter beer. Unless there's another place you'd like to go?" Sod grocery shopping. She could do that tomorrow.

The younger boy managed not to lose his balance, only letting out a small ‘oof’ of surprise as Madeline pulled him into a hug. He’d forgotten how physical she could get, but in a good way. He never got hugged anymore, and when he did it would either be awkward or forced. This was neither and it felt kind of nice, if a bit embarrassing, because she smelled like baked goods and it smelled delicious, and he felt like a creep for thinking that.

Camm smiled, a genuine smile of pleasure this time, not awkward or nervous. It felt nice to be remembered by someone. He never thought himself to be memorable or remotely important enough to be remembered. “Yeah?” He couldn’t keep the happiness out of his voice, way to not act like a dork Erskine, “You look great too, Maddie. Really great. Spiffing!” And she really did. He was not really great at complimenting people; he never knew the right thing to say. But the cold painted red on her cheeks and her hair looked like it was glittering when the light hit it and he just really wanted to tell her she looked like the angel he put on top of the tree every year for Christmas. Maybe later.

A little of his happiness escaped when Maddie asked him how he was doing. He’d been doing all right, he supposed. There was so much that could have been better, but he took what he got. He was pretty sure she didn’t want to hear about everything that was going wrong with his life, anyhow. Some things he didn’t even want to think about. “I’ve been doing fine.” He shrugged. “Newts are hard. Bet you’re glad to have that done and out of the way.” He added as an afterthought. Part of him couldn’t wait to finish with school, but a bigger part of him was afraid. He couldn’t help but wonder if Maddie felt the same way when she was still in Hogwarts.

Logan was always a bit of a sensitive topic to him, because sometime during his fifth year he realised that he was never going to be his brother. That realisation stung a little at first, but over the course of the holidays he was becoming unsure of whether that’s a bad thing. “He’s coping.” He said as airily as he possibly could, “Glenn is too, when he’s not too busy being missing.” Camm was not sure if Maddie really wanted to hear that her ex-boyfriend was doing not so well, because she wasn’t that kind of person, the kind who took pleasure in putting down their exes. But in all honesty, coping was probably the kindest word he could have chosen.

“Because I’m an idiot! Who’d want to be reminded of their ex-boyfriend? By his brother, no less.” Camm laughed, relieved that Maddie didn’t think any of it. “I’ve got the worse case of foot-in-mouth disease.” He said as he fumbled with the straps of his camera and passed it to the older girl. The thoughts of his brother were pushed away for a while as he focused on the camera. Maddie was one of the few people who loved photography as much as he did, probably more than him, and he hadn’t been very good at keeping up with it recently. “It’s nothing fancy,” he said shyly, scuffing the toe of his shoes into the ground, “but it’s the best I could afford.”

Camm was caught off guard when Maddie offered to treat him to lunch, so much so that he allowed her to usher him into the pub before he even realised he had nodded at her. “The Three Broomsticks is great! And um, I can pay for myself, I’ve already inconvenienced you as it is.” He smiled apologetically at her as he led them to a table near the fireplace. Besides, Maddie was right. It did them both good to get out of the freezing cold. It was, like his dad used to say (and Camm often suspected he was talking about his mum), colder than a golddigger’s heart.

“Eh, enough about me.” Camm scoffed, “How have you been doing? Life must be pretty awesome with no one telling you what to do or where to go?” He regretted saying that the moment the words left his mouth. How pretentious and uncool was that? No matter how comfortable he actually was with his companion, he always managed to find a way to be awkward around them. Maybe he needed one of those ‘kick me’ signs hanging around his neck, like what he saw on muggle TV. He crossed his fingers underneath the table and hoped that he didn’t screw up anymore, and also that he didn’t just jinx it.

There was that smile! Maddie grinned back, her cheeks dimpling. Did he just use the word "spiffing"? Oh gosh, she could just hug him all over again. Not that she would. From previous experience, she knew that being hugged in front of your peers wasn't exactly cool. Camm did look wonderful, though. Taller. He'd lost his puppy fat but it was rude to comment so she didn't. Unable to help herself, she reached out and squeezed one of his shoulders affectionately.

She'd always liked the Hufflepuff. Always but she feared he was wise past his years. He always seemed so down whenever she bumped into him but he seemed okay. Fine? Madeline didn't say anything but tilted her head to the side a little in a non verbal way for him to know that she wasn't that convinced.

"Oooh yeah," the tall blonde winced, wrinkling her nose in distaste. "What subjects are you taking?" The baker asked, genuinely interested. "You can have my old notes?" She offered Camm kindly. "I keep everything. I've never been able to throw things away. I'm hoping to meet someone some day who likes that about me," she joked, cracking another grin. "I hope they'll help. I was very studious. It might be good to look at someone else's style of learning, mm?" Maddie didn't have a younger sibling to coach through life so Camm had sort of accidentally filled that void.

She laughed cheerfully. "Yes and no," she said vaguely. "Am I glad to get rid of exams? Totally," she said, her honey coloured eyes wide. "But, you know, school is nice. Don't grow up too fast," she said, blinking at him. It wasn't a threat but he was a smart kid. She'd seen too many students fall in with the wrong crowd and make mistakes and she didn't want to add another one to that awful list.

Coping? Her pretty face fell as she felt guilt rising. Coping didn't sound very good. She and Logan had lost touch. He'd helped her pick out her wedding dress and then he'd gone a bit…weird. "Is he still at the theatre?" She asked gently, just wondering. She had no idea where his older brothers were. Maddie offered him a soft smile. "He was always a wanderer," she replied gamely, not wanting Camm to feel sad. "I should probably drop some food off," she said thoughtfully with a frown. "Where are you spending Christmas?" She asked quickly, not wanting him to really be with Logan or Glenn. Or his father. He should spend a few days with her.

"You're nothing like Logan," Madeline said gently. "And that's a good thing!" She gushed with another smile. The fact that he seemed to want to be like her ex-boyfriend worried her. Camm wasn't Logan. He wasn't a popular Quidditch player who bedded numerous girls. He was Camm. Sweet, romantic Camm. She leant in a little and lowered her voice to a stage whisper. "And I, for one, think you should celebrate that." She grinned as she took the camera. "You're completely fine," she said encouragingly as she turned the camera in her pale hands.

"Yeah it's a little love worn," Madeline said diplomatically, eluding to Camm's camera being a bit battered. All of the dials were working, the shutter was in good shape. He could use some stronger, sturdier straps. A thought hit her. "You should have my camera," she said suddenly, carefully handing it back to him. She barely used it and she could afford another. It was next to new and a vast improvement on the one he had now. She didn't let him protest. It was done. As soon as she got home, she was wrapping it up and dropping it off at the post office in the morning.

The pub was bust and warm. As soon as the heat hit her, she stripped off her coat and scarf and strode to the bar. It wasn't hard to get served. Madeline was taller than most of the students, they hadn't finished growing yet. She came back with two mugs of warm butterbeer and set one in front of Camm with a smile.

"I'm not that lucky, buddy," the blonde said kindly. "I've got bills to pay, rent to afford, deadlines to stick to," she mumbled before heaving a sigh and taking a long sip of the sweet, buttery liquid. Ooh. Delicious. She didn't get this in Paris. It was all black coffee and rich, dark hot chocolate. Yack. "No it's good," she said brightly, hopefully not shattering his ideals of adulthood. "I work in Paris mostly," she said, wondering if he'd ever been before. "I work in a cute little bakery. The boss is wonderful but terrifying. For a time, I actually hid in a cupboard when he walked past," she admitted with an embarrassed smile.

"You should visit," she said brightly. "I'd love to have you." And she would. Her apartment was dinky but she felt it was too big for just her. It'd be nice to have someone to make breakfast for and play tour guide to for a few days. Her slim fingers plucked a menu from the table and turned it over, scanning the options and not entirely sure what she felt like eating.

There was something about the way that Maddie tilted her head that let on the fact she probably didn’t believe his  whole ‘I’m fine’ schmuck. That was fine. Camm rarely let himself believe it, and he’d been telling that to himself since the day Bruce took his first drink in their house. So he just smiled and tried not to look Maddie in the eye.

He perked up again at the mention of extra notes. It meant extra studying, but he was glad for any amount of distraction it could potentially offer. Camm scrunched up his face into a thoughtful expression as he tried to recall all the classes he was taking. Too bad his memory always seemed to fail him when it came to school. “Potions,” He said, with absolute confidence, “Charms, Care of Magical Creatures, Herbology, Defence against the Dark Arts, Astronomy and Transfiguration?” His voice ended in uncertainty as his stomach twisted at the last subject on his list. “I’d be really glad if I could have your old notes. I’m still struggling with some subjects.” Maybe because now he didn’t have anyone to help him with them.

A short huff of laughter escaped him, and he watched the puff of warm, white air disappear into the cold for a moment. When he replied her, his voice was distracted but traces of worry was still evident. “Oh I’m sure Transfiguration will keep me in school, we’ve seemed to have reached an agreement about that.” He flashed her a wry grin. “Besides, I don’t think you need to worry about me being led astray. Only happens to the popular kids and I’m definitely not one of those.” He added as an afterthought, gesturing to himself. With his camera, journal stuffed with pictures and coats that had a pocket-sized Shakespeare book in almost all of them, he was considered lucky if there weren’t any bullies after him.

“The theatre…” Logan had been distant for a while now. The two brothers never really wrote to each other often, but he never replied the letter Camm sent him when term officially began. Still, that was the Logan he knew. He could get his head stuck in his own theatrics for a while, but he’d sort that out in his own time. “Yeah, he’s still with the theatre. But sometimes things feel… off. I think he’d be glad to see some old faces again.” Hopefully. He added in his head. It was hard to tell what Logan has going on in his head sometimes. “Um, Christmas? I don’t really know.” He frowned a little, because he really didn’t. “Maybe see if I can be of some use to the theatre? They’d let me hang around for a bit.” Christmas didn’t really feel right back at his mum’s, anyhow.

Colour flooded Camm’s face at the compliment. It probably wasn’t even a compliment, but it still made him feel like he inhaled hot chocolate into his bloodstream. “I think I needed to hear that.” He drew a shaky breath and laughed. There was no real pressure from anyone to be more like his older brother, but he left a hole to fill and sometimes he wondered if he was the right person to do it. Now he most often wondered whether that hole even needed filling.

A fond smile came to rest on his face as he watched Maddie inspect the camera. She was right, it was love worn, because he really loved that camera and took it everywhere after he first got it. “It’s fine, you can say it’s old and battered.” He said, but he grinned so that Maddie would know he was just teasing instead of being offended. He made to protest when she brought up giving him her camera, because how could he accept that from someone he’d just reconnected with a couple of minutes ago? But any attempts at doing so proved to be moot, and all he ended up saying was “well you’ll be getting a hell of a Christmas present from me this year.”

If his father were here he’d tell Camm that Erskine’s do not let girls treat them to lunch and a drink. But he didn’t think Maddie was one to care about stereotypes, so he just lifted his mug in thanks and took a small sip (big gulp) and kept his sputtering at a mininum.

“You work in Paris now?” He managed to gasp out, the sweet liquid burning his throat a little. “Getting to work everyday must be tough.” He remarked, while simultaneously wondering how it was possible for someone to be wonderful and terrifying at the same time. Sometimes he thought it must suck to be an adult and be responsible for yourself and live alone without friends snoring in the next bed. Sometimes he also thought how awesome it was to be an adult to be able to support yourself and be independent and he couldn’t wait to make it on his own. But he didn’t tell Maddie any of that because he still had a lot of figuring out to do.

“That’d be nice.” His voice was wistful and possibly a little sad. There was no way he could go, even if Maddie really meant what she said. “I’d love to go to Paris someday. Just for a bit. Maybe visit that cupboard you hid in.” Camm flashed a small, teasing smile and disappeared behind the menu. He wasn’t even that hungry anymore at the thought of his depressing future. Maybe he’d have soup, since that was what most people ate when they were sick or sad, and he felt a little of both coming up. Yeah, soup sounded good. 

Camm was a sweet, kind and wonderful boy. He was also sensitive and introverted. While there was nothing wrong with that at all, she'd always been a bit worried about how he was getting on in school. Was he getting bullied? Was he falling behind in classes? In some ways, she felt closer to him than she did either of his older brothers. He needed to be taken care of and she was more than happy to help out. Her heart was big and she was ready to share out some love. She was single and she didn't have a pet so all of her affection was poured into her desserts by the bucket full.

Her honey coloured eyes were wide with interest as she nodded along, a proud smile lighting up her face. "That's awesome," she said, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand affectionately. She often forgot personal space. "I think I've got notes for everything," she said with a nod of her head. "I never throw anything away," she admitted with a sheepish smile. "Shall I owl them to you?" Maddie asked as she sipped her drink, keen to know what was the best way for Camm to attain her scribbled notes.

"Don't worry about it," she said fondly as she waved her hand dismissively. "Don't forget, if you're ever in Hogsmeade, you can come and see me," the tall witch added and she meant it. She had no issue with the fellow Hufflepuff stopping by. She made a mental note to attach some cupcakes to the parcel. "I miss Hogwarts," she said with a wistful sigh. "Growing up isn't that fun," she said with a grimace before cracking a grin.

Oh.

Madeline blinked, a frown creasing her pretty facial features. "I wasn't popular," she said gently. "And I turned out just fine," she added with an encouraging smile in Camm's direction. "Besides, being "popular," she scoffed, making air quotes with both sets of forefingers, "Isn't the be all and end all and besides," she said as she flipped her menu over once more. "I think you're lovely," she began with a warm smile in the younger boy's direction. "And if those losers can't see that, don't waste a second of your time worry. Wolves don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep," she stated gently.

Madeline nodded as she offered Camm a gentle smile. Logan didn't know how much his younger brother looked up to him and that annoyed her. "He's been a bit weird with me, too," she commented as she sighed heavily. "But with Christmas, he's bound to be busy. I've not seen or heard from him in months so I imagine he's got other stuff on." It hurt that Logan seemed to have ditched his brother and his ex-girlfriend. Who helped someone pick out their wedding dress and then piss off for months at a time? "Here's to being different," Maddie said abruptly, raising her cup and chinking it against Camm's merrily.

"No, it's love worn," she grinned as him. Her lithe pale fingers deftly fixed up the leather strap that was attached to the camera to make it sit a bit more securely. "Don't be silly," she said warmly as she shook her head, pale blonde curls bobbing cheerily as she did so. "I want you to have it," she insisted swiftly. "It's a great camera and you'll enjoy it more than I do. I don't want to see it sat on a desk like it has been for ages." He shouldn't be buying her anything. Anything at all. It wasn't really a gift. It was more of a practical replacement.

"I sort of split my time between here and Paris," she said with a smile as she sipped her hot chocolate, poking a floating marshmallow with an index finger. She laughed. "I work part time in both so it's not a bother coming here every other day. Cool," she said abruptly as she sat her cup down. She placed her elbows on the table, her chin resting in an upturned palm as she surveyed him closely. "Come and spend Christmas with me," she said eagerly. "Seriously," she said, her eyes sparkling suddenly. "I've got a spare bed, a fully stocked fridge, the works. I've got the entire week off so you won't be left alone and we can go sight seeing. You know, I've not really had chance since I moved there. We could go up the Eiffel Tower, too."

She paused. "I'll square everything with your dad first," Maddie replied, playing the responsible adult part. "I think it'll do you good to get away for a few days and see something different." Madeline had no plans for the big day. Her brother was working and her parents were on holiday. "I've got a cute next door neighbour?" The tall blonde girl grinned, trying to tempt Camm to come and stay with her. The girl's name was Marianne. She was brunette, petite and very pretty and she had a penchant for Jane Austen.

"Hi," she said brightly as a waitress wandered over. "Could I have the chicken burger and fries, please?" Maddie asked as she handed the menu back. "Ooh and two more hot chocolates and whatever my friend here would like." Letting him order, she really hoped she wasn't cramping his style. She wasn't exactly the coolest person in the world and she hoped his friends wouldn't make fun of him or anything. She'd noticed a few people glancing her way but that could be down to the fact that she smelt like cookies.