[Incarnadine Townhouse, Kensington] 21 Things (Valerian)

Whenever he was around his family, Zachary Incarnadine regressed somewhat to the petulant, stuck-up child.  The irritation his family produced in him consumed his usually cool and collected exterior until he acted like a spoiled teenager with an overbearing mother and distant father. Today was no exception. In fact, today he was likely the most petulant he had been since he was about six.  His mother had been fussing over him all morning, and he had almost gotten to the point of cursing her arm off the last time she had tutted and adjusted his hair. Anyone would think that the meeting she had arranged for him today had already happened and he was off to meet some doyenne of a family as self-involved as the Incarnadines.  But no, today Branna had retained the services of one Valerian Stringfellow, matchmaker to the rich and influential, in order to start the arduous process of finding Zachary a wife since he seemed disinclined to do it for himself.

Zi had been summonsed to the family home from Italy with no foreknowledge of this consultation, so when his mother had sprung it on him an hour and a half before Stringfellow was to arrive, he had little way out.  She had not left his side since telling him what was coming, so he wouldn't have a chance to escape. Zi made a mental note of this, intent on telling the matchmaker that he valued his space and privacy and as such a meddlesome wench would be a great turn off.  Not that it would matter that much since he had no intention of going through with any marriage that was proposed. Nevertheless he did need something to talk about with Valerian.

As the carriage clock on the mantel struck the hour, the flames in the grate flared. His mother was still in the parlour hovering around her son, ready to make the completely unnecessary introductions to the impeccably punctual man. "Good afternoon, Valerian. How good it is to see you. It has been too long." His voice was full of all the charm and breeding he could muster, lest he face reprisals from his parents later. He held out his hand to shake the other man's, then turned to Branna.  "You can leave us now, Mother. I am sure matters of the heart are best discussed in private." He glared at her intensely for just a moment, before returning his attention to Valerian.

"Can I get you a drink?  I believe high tea is being served in the conservatory, I could have Karinn fetch some for us." As the door clicked closed behind his mother, many of the airs and graces dropped out of his voice and he became more genuine, after muttering a few privacy spells.  "Personally, I'm having something stronger to make this less painful." He took a few steps toward the sideboard and unstoppered a decanter of a thirty year old Speyside and pouring himself a generous tumblerful. "You're welcome to join me."

Zi moved over to the Chesterfield settee and sat himself down, and gestured widely at the other chairs arranged around the coffee table. "Do have a seat." He sipped on his drink and sighed heavily. "Well, shall we get this over with? I'm sure you've better things to do with your time. I know I have.

Paperwork. Valerian Stringfellow’s adoration for paperwork dwarfed that of most likely any other person, and for good reason. He had devoted an entire decade compiling his library of secrets and knowledge, and it was times like these when all his hard work came to fruition. As Val sat behind his large mahogany desk in this London office, he leaned back in his chair just a little more and his hand came to his chin in a thoughtful, somewhat concerned expression. He had—as had been indicated to him— a particularly difficult meeting ahead of him today and as such had been preparing for in the last few weeks with due diligence, but that was still not quite enough to put him at ease.

Valerian danced with a lot of powerful families and there was something both wonderful and terrifying about it. The thing about influential families was that there was a certain degree of safety involved, as well as a tacit promise of danger. People like this, like the Incarnadines and even the Stringfellows, had secrets that they did not want known, and they were always more inclined to silence those that knew the secrets than to talk it out like civilized beings. Grandfather Yarrow was one such person but because of him Val had quite a bit of experience dancing around truths and ensuring that he ended up having tea in a parlor and not face down in the Thames.

With that image in mind, Val stood up from his chair and pulled on his suit jacket, buttoning it up and straightening his appearance in the reflection of one of his windows. Once he was satisfied with his appearance, he strolled over to the fireplace on the opposite end of his office. Val glanced at the clock, and seeing he was still a few minutes ahead of schedule, waited. There was something to be said about being early, but it would also be rude to pop in before his clients were ready to receive him. So he waited, fluffing his pocket square and aimlessly tugging at his flower cufflinks until the second hand on the clock on the wall hit the 10 second mark, and then he stepped into the flames.

His eyes adjusted once he stepped out of the unfamiliar fireplace and he found himself in an elegantly decorated parlor, the sort of place he felt immediately at home in. Already in the room was Branna Incarnadine, the woman whose countless owls and fretting had made her seem as dear to him as the woman who raised him: overbearing but loving, in a smothering way, and one Zachary Incarnadine. He bid Branna goodbye with a reassuring word for her not to worry (most likely a useless attempt to soothe the woman but he gave her his most charming smile) as she was ushered out and was then left alone with Zachary.

Yes. The scion of the Incarnadine family business and fortune. Even as Val had accepted the handshake, he had kept his expression calm as he appraised the younger man. It had been a while since they had seen each other. Their families moved in similar circles, although the Incarnadines hailed from quite a loftier place in society and would occasionally condescend to visit or attend the same get-togethers as the Stringfellows. Val declined the admittedly lovely smelling drink, even knowing that it was probably delicious and the best money could buy, then sat  down in the armchair he was offered. He glanced at the other man once more, hiding his slight smile. Zachary was a very handsome man, and from a good family, a desirable prospect for any of his matches.

“Not to worry, Master Incarnadine, I have set aside quite a long appointment for you, at your mother’s urging.” He leaned back in the chair, giving as unstudied an air as possible. In the beginning of his career as a matchmaker, Val had made use of Self-Writing Quills to make notes of the interviews, but he quickly found that it made his clients somewhat uneasy to have their every word immortalized, and as such would hold much back from him. Val had a good memory and, at least for this initial conversation, that would be all he needed. He could relay it all back to his files at a later date.

“Now then, I understand that you may be a little apprehensive of this whole matchmaking thing, as most young people these days would much prefer to find their own mates than be paired up with an ill-suited stranger. But tradition is inescapable and, as I am sure you are well aware, there are certain responsibilities that come with being from a family who resides in the public eye.” Val leaned forward just slightly. “Which is why I exist. We do not live in the Dark Ages anymore. With access to hundreds of families, domestic and international, I will do my best to arrange a powerful, but most importantly a compatible, match for you if you are willing. Let me make it clear that while it is your mother who retains my services, it is you who I am most concerned with. My allegiances lie with those who trust me with their hearts, less so with their money,” he finished with a wink.

Val leaned back in the armchair. “Let’s get started, shall we? Is there someone that you are interested in at the moment?” He smiled once more, waving his hand. “Ah, apologies. That’s far too personal-- a question for another time maybe. What I mean to ask is if there was someone who had captured your attention, what would they be like? Could you describe tome the things you look for in a companion?” He purposefully didn’t specify gender, if any of the rumors were to be believed it was a wise choice. He did, though, have a nagging concern that perhaps the young master would not be as easy to crack as his other clients. It was clear to him that Zachary Incarnadine was not the average air-headed heir and arranging a match for him might be one of his great challenges.

Zachary's potions enhanced senses caught the slightly twitch of something in Valerian's face as the other man took his seat. He was clearly appraising Zi, calculating his worth like some piece of meat. How dignified. The glimmer that Zachary had picked up on was far too brief and far too controlled to read, but he nevertheless recognised the masterfully blank and open face that Valerian now wore - it was a face he had seen in the mirror plenty of times.  Valerian was trying to read him - to get a measure of him and assess how to proceed with this interaction. That was fine.  Zachary was in private, in his family home with an associate of close enough age and background that he didn't feel the need to maintain any pretentious airs of privilege right now. As such, he didn't bother to mask his clear displeasure at the prospect of this being a particularly long appointment.

He continued to sip his drink, languidly eyeing Valerian as the man whilst he waxed on what must have been a well rehearsed and polished sales pitch.  Zi was having none of it and began to yawn obnoxiously before catching himself and for being uncharacteristically rude.  He was only being childish because his mother had riled him up.  Nevertheless, he was already almost through his first glass of whiskey and starting to reach for the bottle to top himself up by the time Valerian winked at him.  What was that all about anyway? He replaced the last sentence uttered back in his head. No, the wink still felt out of place, yet the man was clearly in total control. This would need submitting to further examination later.

Once Valerian had finished saying his piece, Zachary composed himself.  He kept his demeanour amiable and civil, his voice was level despite his exasperated words. He pitched it as an exchange between equals with mutual respect, if somewhat differing opinions:

"Firstly, please - drop the whole 'absentmindedly asking the wrong questions' routine. I'm certain you and I have plenty of mutual associates who wouldn't stand for such indiscretion.  If you really were that incompetent, you'd have been in a casket years ago, if indeed your body had ever been found." It was not a threat, just an observation. He continued lightly and pleasantly, "However difficult and obstructive a client I may be, I don't propose to play games with you. All I request is that you afford me the same courtesy.

"Secondly, you at least know my family's reputation and I have an inkling you know a great deal more than that. Exactly how much heart do you think I have? Such weakness as emotion has been systematically bred out of the Incarnadine line for hundreds of years, thanks to people doing just what you are attempting right now.  Any that remains is quashed and repressed during our upbringing. Don't get me wrong, I am quite happy with this state of affairs. But I'm afraid it means there is little heart to entrust you with. And even if I weren't an emotionally stunted sociopath, trust is one of the few things with which I am not well endowed.

"And please, how long have we known each other? How many generations have our forebears? You're not exactly the help even if you enjoy playing at it for whatever reason.  When I want to have people call me master, I know whom to call.  And they will actually mean it and treat me as such. So unless you have the intention of submitting yourself to my every whim and desire without question or hesitation, Zachary will do just fine." Deciding this was an opportune moment, Zachary returned the conspicuous wink and added a genuine, if somewhat cheeky, smile.
   
He paused for a moment, unsure exactly why he had felt compelled to share that last titbit, let alone wink. To cover his confusion, he kicked himself off of the settee and busied himself inspecting in turn each of the trinkets that bedecked every available surface in the room. Each was passed under a spyglass and prodded with a wand whilst he continued to speak.

"To answer your 'accidental' question nonetheless, yes.  There are indeed multiple objects unfortunate enough to attract my affections, each with something unique to offer. Many of these offerings quite contradictory, as I am such an awkward soul.  I like people who can look after themselves, with the intelligence and cunning to engage and challenge me intellectually, yet sometimes I yearn for those that will be meek, quiet and obedient and do as they are told without question.  I like my independence and expect anyone sharing my life to respect that but I also find myself perversely enjoying being hounded and pursued relentlessly until I give in.  You see, Valerian, I have inherited my father's fickleness and inability to stay true to one woman."

An affronted gasp, immediately followed by the tinkle of shattering glass could be heard emanating from the hallway. He addressed the crystal rose that he had submitted to close examination a minute or so beforehand and had stayed in his hand ever since. All of the warmth and amiability drained from his voice. "Now let that be a lesson to you mother.  When we spy on our children's private conversations, we hear things we really don't want to hear. Now you're going to go find something else to do and I'm going to finish my sweep of the room before I continue. Clear?"  A muffled 'yes, Zachary' came from the hallway, followed by footsteps fading into the distance. Zachary continued to search the room for further bugs and uncovered two more listening devices and one recording artefact before he was satisfied, muttering apologies for the delay and further offers of drinks or high tea as he went. Once he was finished he retraced his thoughts and a horrific realisation dawned. "Oh Merlin. She heard the domination diatribe, didn't she?"

Valerian thought he had dealt with the type before. The young master was obviously brutally honest and confident, the sort of person Val would love to deal with in that other aspect of his life. Cocky people were certainly easier to deal with when they thought they were in the lead, and thus they were much easier to manipulate and mold like putty. Val had been hoping this meeting would go something of the same way, but whispers and rumors that he had heard floating about made him inclined to think the Incarnadine was a little more formidable than the average rich pretty boy. But he had held onto hope that the other man would be easy to read, easy to deal with, and another satisfied customer within the first meeting.

Val had never been so pleased to be wrong. Zachary was perceptive and calculating to a dangerous extreme, but Valerian was never one to back down from a challenge, and if he did step back it was only to see the problem from a different angle and come in again. A few years ago he may have been shaken to hear someone had seen through his act and was staring him down with all sorts of expectations for truthfulness and honesty, but the current Valerian was much more experienced, much smoother in his failures. Everything could be turned around and Val had seen his opening.

The sound of something, most likely a wine glass, shattering outside the door and Zachary’s reaction served to pique Valerian’s interest even further. It wasn’t unusual for family members to listen in on his meetings with his clients, and Val was often inclined to let them do so, especially if they were the overbearing sort. He found that if he started the conversation out slowly and boringly enough, eventually the fly on the wall would flutter away out of boredom, or Val would cast a net of spells that would broadcast every other conversation in the city all at once to the poor eavesdropper. He hadn’t really wanted to do it with the elderly woman for the sake of her health, but it appeared Zachary had no such misgivings. 

The older man watched as Zachary continued to sweep the room, noting the way the young man walked and moved—how his eyes would flicker in that shrewd, calculating way that only someone what was used to being a person of interest had. Sneaky people expect to be snuck up on, or however that saying went. Val was used to dealing with paranoid people and he was used to dealing  with socialites, the problem arose when those two traits were all bundled up in one enigmatic, dangerously capable, (apparently masochistic, Val would be sure to write that down in the appropriate file when he returned home), perceptive man.

“Your mother warned me about you,” Valerian said with a slight smile. “You are a cruel man indeed. I see I have my work cut out for me, but let me assure you that I have every intention of seeing this through. For you see, I too like a good chase or a good challenge every now and then. Nothing would give me more satisfaction than to find you match as multifaceted and contradictory as you are.” He leaned back in his chair and folded is hands in his lap. “Contradictory, mind you, is not an insult. How boring would the world be if there was no one to surprise you, if everyone kept to the same mold and followed what everyone expected of them? No, I think I am coming to understand the sort of person I should match you with.”

A little quiet settled over the room as Val filed all of his notes away into the back of his mind. “You’ll have to forgive me. So often when it comes to love are people’s judgments clouded that I am tasked with nudging them along the right path. I will remember that you are not so easily fooled, nor do you need my guidance in these matters, as I am sure you are perfectly capable of finding yourself someone to, as you put it, ‘hound and pursue relentlessly’ until you give in. I, personally, prefer to do the hounding and subsequent capturing, so I can’t advise you much on that,” he finished with a smirk.

“Now than, back to the interview, shall we? I would very much like to hear about your ideal future. What world would you like to live in and how does your life companion fit into that picture? There are some who want to have their mate by their side at all times, and others who prefer to be left alone. Please, if you will, paint me a picture of exactly what you desire, Zachary, so I can better understand exactly who I am dealing with.”

Words words words. Zachary listened carefully to every word that came out of Valerian's mouth, though he did not let his concentration show on his face which instead still parading his displeasure at having to be here.  This meeting not only irritated him on principle, but Valerian's smooth but apparently empty patter was really grating on him. Zachary was desperate to find some hidden meaning, a subtext to the facile platitudes the other man was spouting that would make this painful interview go faster. Much as he searched though, Zachary just couldn't find any awkward or out of place phrasings, no double entendres nothing that hinted at the capability and intelligence that he knew the man simply must have.  It was so frustrating, he was tempted to try the latest addition to his repertoire of tricks, legilimensy, just to satisfy his curiosity. He even got as far as meeting Valerian's eyes to create a bridge for his mind to cross before standing himself down.  It was too risky to chance angering the Stringfellows for no good reason, and Zachary's abilities in the field were far from refined enough to go in unnoticed just yet.  Still, an underworld operative like Valerian was in his other life may well have heard rumour that Zachary was studying the mind arts.  Perhaps bluffing a mental invasion would distract the man enough that he would give at least something away.

Whether put off by Zachary's locked gaze or still in total control of his words though, Zachary did not have to wait much longer for a curio to sink his teeth into. Though when he did finally find something untoward in Valerian's speech pattern, it was far from gratifying. 'Life companion' was not the sort of phrase that was at all welcome in this conversation, however naturally it had flown from Valerian's lips.  With its utterance, Zachary was extra careful not to let any sign of acknowledgement flicker on his face, but maintained the connection between their eyes as he replayed their encounter from the beginning.  There had not been one use of the word wife, not one gendered term for partner. What was he playing at? What did he know? Or was he just fishing?

Another thought struck Zachary as Valerian finished speaking, and so in order to fully entertain it, he had to feign a pause to consider the question posed. He allowed his eyes to wander upwards and his lips taughtened as he thought not of his future, but his interviewer. Valerian himself was a bachelor, and to Zachary's knowledge had never seriously dated. And there were the curiously conspicuous winks, blatant flattery and sly smiles to consider.  Was Valerian signalling some kind of cameraderie? Might he even be flirting? There were too many possibilities to pin this down right now, but a feint and distant smile appeared on Zachary's face.  This encounter has now at least become far more interesting and was a game he knew how to play.  A dangerous game, especially in his mother's parlour, which, despite his best efforts, he still wasn't sure was secure, but a game he enjoyed nonetheless. It was time to start baiting and see where that lead:

"What is my ideal future?  Well for a start, I wouldn't have to worry about producing an heir, because I'll have vanquished the problems of mortality and aging so an heir will be surplus to requirements and would just be someone to plot and scheme my demise like I do that of my parents."  Zachary listened intently for some kind of reaction from the hallway.  When he couldn't detect anything, he shrugged. "She actually left? How satisfying."

"I find the weather and sociopolitical climate in Neroli to be quite genial, so I think I'd rather like to rule it as a perpetual Doge.  The Most Serene Prince Zachary has quite a ring to it, no?  Did you know that the Dogi in some of the city states of old Italy used to be confined to their palaces and were sheltered from having to interact with the public.  That sounds quite agreeable to me, though I'm not sure 'confined' would be my choice.  Rather, just residing and presiding from my palace so that should anyone want an audience with me they shall have to come before me.  I would still like some freedom to roam should I choose though." He smiled as he entertained the thought.

"Of course I would be surrounded by a court of my closest advisors for company, entertainment and counsel. You asked where a life companion" the term came just as fluidly out of Zachary's mouth as it had Valerians, no undue lingering or intonation that would indicate he had spotted the elephant in the room - as far as his voice portrayed he was just parroting back the terms used in the question "would fit into this ideal world? I would think that it would be in this court that one would expect to find such a companion. Though since I would be an all-powerful tyrant, I would not have to confine myself to monogamy but instead could carry on a number of relationships in order to satisfy my various needs and interests."

The fantasy at its end, Zachary closed with a direct answer to Valerian's stated inquiry. "Basically, exactly who you're dealing with is a promiscuous megalomaniac that finds interacting with those he deems less intelligent or otherwise capable than himself an incredible bore." He smirked - it was diverting to be forthwright and frank. "Now Valerian, how about a little quid pro quo? You can't expect me to carry on exposing myself for you without giving me something in return. So tell me this:  why exactly is the matchmaker of choice for the pureblood elite not himself yet married?"