please don't go away | • a r i

Ari shrugged in the ultimate expression of 'what happens will happen.' It was hard for her to let go. Ariana was a girl who had always been averse to change, despite its deep and continuous manifestation in their lives. But she was starting to learn that maybe the tighter you held the more you let slip past you, and also maybe that it wasn't up to you. Ultimately, who knew when your thread would be cut short? If telling @Dennis Creevey about Colin wasn't a manifestation of that, she didn't know what was. "Couch? I can always Conjure one you know, but if I'm not careful it might vanish out from under me halfway through the night," she laughed.

She only raised her eyebrows further at Freya, her evasive response making her nervous. She wasn't quite prepared for the name that came out of Freya's mouth. "Seth Stanton?" she repeated rather incredulously. "You did what?" Her eyebrows bunched together. Ari Laurier did not like @Seth Stanton and she especially didn't like him with Freya. She was perfectly aware that Seth had never done anything objectionable with Freya and she had to admit it sounded like he hadn't done anything she didn't really want him to this time, but she couldn't help but feel like there was something sleazy about the guy. He was two years older than her, had no reason to like her friend except that she was pretty and young and innocent. And Freya could never see what a jerk he was. She always insisted he was nothing but nice, but once again, Ari reiterated, "He's just...it's just..." she sighed. "He's such a jerk, Freya. He's so rude, and arrogant, and he tosses the girls he dates. Just ask @Finn McKenzie why they're not friends anymore. And I heard a lot of whispering about why he broke up with some girl when we were fourth years and none of the possibilities sounded good." Ari wasn't proud of buying into the grapevine, but there it was. Freya was the prettiest girl in their year and she didn't see through him and Ari just felt like that was all the draw in it for him.

She took a breath. She knew that Freya was probably dreading her reaction, such as it was, and she felt bad about that. "Especially if you don't really like him," she supplied the negative of Freya's words, and sighed. "I guess it's good you had fun, though," she said weakly, heart only sort of in it. "...I'm sorry Freya, I know you know I don't like him and I know you don't feel the same way," she added after a moment, trying to acknowledge.

"You can just sleep in my bed. It's big. Or on the floor or something, I'm sure we can work something out. Couch cushions," she added after a moment's thought. Their apartment really was a dream come true for Freya. She still felt a bit weird about Casey and the fact that Finn had moved out to live with Freya, but the pros far outweighed the cons.

Freya sighed, her exhale overlapping with Ari's emphatic "Seth Stanton??!" The girl stared up at the ceiling, feeling a little grumpy and a little eye-rolly and a little satisfied that she'd finally been able to share this story with this particular friend. She didn't like the immediate outrage, but she did like the fact that Ari had thoughts on the matter. Freya waited for the mini rant to finish, only half-listening to the words her brunette friend was saying. She figured she'd be able to just replay the memory of telling her Hufflepuff friend about clandestine make-out sessions in abandoned Hogwarts corridors back in fifth grade. Naturally, Ari hadn't approved back then either. At least she was consistent.

"I haven't told Finn yet," she admitted, not bothering to be huffy about Ari's grumping. Finn would not approve. A little part of her didn't think Finn would like any boy that Freya had what was basically a one night stand with. Especially not Seth, though. Finn was protective like that. It's good I'm not dating him then, she countered internally, replying silently to the comment about being tossed aside. Freya rolled onto her tummy, entirely bored of this part of the conversation and eager to move onto the next. "Yeah, I know, I know," she said, dismissing Ari's concerns with a flippant hand gesture, "But anyway, point is I had sex for the first time." Freya smiled at her friend, teasing a little. Ari had always been a little more awkward about these kinds of talks than Freya was. "And it wasn't horrible, it was great."

The girl played with her hair absentmindedly, watching her brunette friend. "You know I'm into the whole independent woman thing," she started, adjusting her glasses, "But also I feel like if you don't have a boyfriend soon I'm gonna have to start setting you up on blind dates."

Ari shrug-nodded. It was enough. It was weird not to be sleeping in their dormitories anymore, considering how long they'd lived there, but Ari didn't consider herself to be particular about her sleeping arrangements. Maybe it was her own way of convincing herself that she could handle anything.

"Are you even going to?" Ari said, somewhat skeptically. She knew exactly how their friend would react, and it was not going to be positively. Freya probably felt she had heard enough of the disapproval from her, at that, judging by the dismissive waves she was getting. Ariana heaved a heavy sigh and flipped over so they were mirror images, golden and dark. "Well, I guess I'm glad it wasn't horrible," she said weakly. Ari never knew what to say when this kind of thing came up. Was she supposed to ask about the details? She was a bit fuzzy on the specifics herself, having never gotten close to it before. She didn't know what it was like, so how could she know what to ask about? And wasn't it weird to ask for details about an intimate and private thing? But then, Freya must have wanted to say something about it if she brought it up. All summed, though, Ari thought she'd stick to silence for now and wait to see if she elaborated.

Propping herself up further on her elbows, alarmed, Ari gave Freya a look. "You wouldn't." Except she would. "Look how that turned out the last time, anyway," she added, referring to the time Skylar had set her and Derek up. "I don't want to have a boyfriend just to have one, anyway," she complained. "Is it really that important?"

"I don't know," Freya said, that air of flippancy returning momentarily. It was weird not to have told Finn about it but Freya also sort of dreaded his reaction. Maybe she should tell him, but be more careful about omitting names from the story. She could say it was a guy she met at the bar, or just make something up. Freya wrinkled her nose at the idea, though. Lying to Finn, while alluring in this particular case, was not something she'd ever been in the habit of. Besides, she wanted to talk to him about it. The blonde momentarily flashed back to her sixth year at Hogwarts, where she'd asked Finn about sex and they'd had a sort of awkward conversation about it. There were downfalls to having your best friend be a boy, she thought. There were some things that were always going to be more comfortable to talk about with people like Tess.

"Same," Freya agreed, a well-natured tease in her voice. She waited for Ari to ask more, but wasn't exactly surprised when she didn't. Ari was so closed about this sort of stuff. Oh well. The blonde rolled her eyes when Ari spoke again. "Yes I would," she countered seriously. "I have lots of boy friends. Lots of cousins. If you marry one, we'll be related you know," Freya teased, grinning and shooting Ari a glance. "It's not important like I think you need a guy but like aren't you curious? Have you ever even kissed someone, seriously? Don't you wonder what it's like to feel all fluttery and get cute notes and be taken on dates and do things for people you care about in that way?" Okay, maybe she was projecting a little. It had been a while since she'd had a boyfriend and while the casual sex thing had been a cool and fun experience, boyfriends were better.

"I'll take that as a no," she said resignedly. "I suppose I can't tell him about it either," she said rhetorically, heaving an exaggerated sigh. She'd never break Freya's confidence, no matter how much she disapproved. She was a Hufflepuff, after all.

"Marriage!" she spluttered. Ari had never looked at someone and wanted to be with them forever, really. Only her friends, in a very platonic way. She'd thought boys were cute, or charming, or fun to be around, but she'd never imagined blending her life with any of them. Besides, Freya did have lots of cousins, but most of them were a fair bit older or rather younger than them. Freya was the baby of her generation. "I have loads of second cousins, anyway. You could marry one of them instead. You know Sophie's my second cousin?" Ari's mother was an only child, and her aunt had never married, so she didn't have any direct cousins, but she did have family, even if they weren't that close. "Not that you'd marry her, but...um...there's always Alfie Hawking, remember him?" She donned a smirk. He'd been in Ravenclaw two years ahead of them, and he'd been germophobic and a veritable fountain of facts. Kind of like Edmund, sometimes, but he was more talkative and she was much fonder of her brother.

"And no, I haven't," she said, looking the other direction. She felt vaguely embarrassed, even though there hadn't exactly been anyone to kiss. Why did people do it, anyway? she thought defensively. It was really a strange habit when you thought about it. "I guess I can't miss it if I don't know anything about it," she shrugged. "And it's not exactly flowers and rainbows all the time, anyway," she said, furrowing her brow. She had seen enough relationships come together and fall apart in the past years to know that. Drama surrounded them in the inevitable misunderstanding and confusion in the beginning, and there was usually a lot of pain at the end.

Ari's parents had a good relationship, and so did her grandparents, so it wasn't as if she'd never had an example. And some of her friends were happy in stable ones. Her family members had told her what their love meant to them--her parents' had weathered a lot during the war--but Ari was half convinced she didn't have time, half convinced she really hadn't met the right person, and half convinced that it wasn't the type of thing that happened to her. The last was an inner thought of hers. People might see Ari as a leader, but in her marathons of advice-giving and listening, of being the tertiary Chaser and a baby of the DA, she saw herself as support, not lead. It had contributed to what had happened last year. How best could she function as support? By focusing on dispatching monsters, alone away from the spotlight. Kate saw her as the star of the show, but she was the only one.

"I'm just the glue, anyway," she joked instead. "Need at least three people for me to work properly. Can't just be in a couple."

@Sophie Scott I was browsing the tree and remembered this fact so I put it in XD

Again, Freya felt that weird feeling about Finn. Tell him and he'd be upset. Don't tell him and it would be lying. Freya didn't like her choices. Inactivity was a choice, but it didn't feel quite as choicey as actually choosing something, so for now she was just going to ignore it. "Well why don't you introduce me to the hot ones?" Freya said, injecting an indignant tone into her voice for humour. She was glad for the change of subject. Freya laughed a little, gleeful at being the one who pushed boundaries out of the two of them. The ridiculous one. In other friendships - like with Danny and Jeremy, or Tess - Freya played the sensible girl, but no one could ever out-sensible Ari. Especially not Freya.

Alfie Hawking?

"Hot ones, I said," Freya chided. She was joking, of course. Freya hadn't paid much attention to upperclassmen two years ahead of them. She didn't remember a lot of them. Except Seth, she thought to herself. "Hmm," was all Freya had to say about Ari not having kissed anyone. The blonde rolled her eyes at Ari's last comment. "Fine," Freya said huffily, "we can find you two boyfriends then." Freya pushed herself up onto her elbows. "Romance is so fun, I promise. Why are you so resistant?" Freya sighed. "Look, do you wanna come over my place and check it out? Come say hi to Finn - I think he'll be home - check out my new room?"

"There aren't any hot ones," Ari said with a grand shrug and a laugh. It was true, though. Some of them might be cute, but she didn't really think any of them were hot, per se. Especially not by Freya's definition, which seemed to include a certain degree of rebellion and danger. They came from pretty good stock, in the kind and normal way--just look at great-grandma Gertie.

She only giggled harder when Freya's voice turned chiding, but quickly shot her a frown at the idea of two boyfriends. "I can't even handle one," she pointed out, gesturing to herself in an attempt to encompass her entire history in that department. "Is it more fun than beating Gryffindor at Quidditch?" she asked, putting on a skeptical voice. "I don't know, maybe I just haven't met the right person. I mean, who can you see me with?" Who would understand the more broken parts of her?

Freya mentioned going to her place and saying hi to Finn, and Ari perked up. "Sure, I don't have anything else to do today. I was just going to write you," she said with a sheepish look. "I haven't seen Finn in ages, it would be nice to," she grinned. Getting off the bed, she grabbed her wand and shoved it in her pocket. "Just let me tell Dad where we're going."

In a few minutes she was ready to go. Preparing for the uncomfortable feeling of Apparition, she nonetheless sighed contentedly. Things were going to be okay.

Freya rolled her eyes at about fifty percent of what Ari was saying, but it was all well-natured. Ari was so predictable sometimes. It was strange for Freya to even think that she'd been mad at her friend only an hour ago. Weird to think about the fact that she'd come here to get upset and weird to think that they'd cried in the kitchen together. Freya got over problems so easily. She didn't hold grudges. As far as the blonde was concerned, they'd solved it all and were back to the friendship they'd had a year ago. "You don't even know what you can handle," she said mock-exasperatedly. She ignored the quidditch comment. Hufflepuff hadn't managed to beat Gryffindor at all in the time that she and Finn had been captains together.

The blonde got up and followed her friend, adjusting her clothes and trotting after the brunette compliantly. She wondered distantly if she'd cleaned up her room this morning and came to the conclusion that she probably hadn't, but that that was okay. She'd wished many times while they were at hogwarts that Ari had been in Gryffindor so that they could share a dorm, but in retrospect that probably wasn't a good idea. They were adults now, though. Freya smiled at her friend before they apparated to London.