a place where I don’t feel alone [ari]

No one was more surprised than Camm himself when he accepted the position of junior photographer at the Daily Prophet. He, like many others, did not think very highly of the publication, given its past with inaccurate publications. But at the end of the day, a job was a job; he could use the money, and he had to admit that it was easier than he thought it would be. Part of him wanted to make it on his own as a photographer, but the Prophet provided security, guidance. It was like being back at Hogwarts, where he just had to complete tasks assigned to him. No questions asked, no need to think.

It made adjusting to adult life simpler when there was a routine. He was sure his brothers would laugh at him if he ever shared that with either of them, that he needed something constant in his life to keep him going. Of course, Camm thought fondly as he reached over to scratch Trip on that spot just above his beak he liked, earning a soft hoot in response, his owl was probably about the most constant thing in his life right now, having been with him for the last few years. Everything else was changing.

Camm gave Trip another scratch after he finished tying the note onto the small owl’s foot, watching as he flew from where he was perched on the windowsill. He was lucky; his cubicle was right next to the window, and while the view wasn’t terrific, it beat where Hugh was stationed. The poor chap spent at least five minutes a day pretending he couldn’t see Martha flossing after her mandatory pre-lunch tuna sandwich. And while he felt bad for the guy, he was just flipping glad that he didn’t have to listen to him complain about it again at lunch.

Taking an extra half-hour during his lunch break to meet up with a friend felt oddly exhilarating. It was just Ariana (although he supposed that there was nothing just about her), but it was strange to him that she was no longer within arm’s length, and that he’d never be able to enter the Hufflepuff common room to see her studying there, or practice Quidditch together again. The reality that they were adults now, with their own separate lives, was not completely sinking in. He never thought he’d miss the school, not after the last year he spent in fire and brimstone, but right now as he walked through Diagon Alley surrounded by strangers, he realised he kind of did.

They were meeting in a dusty looking pub, the kind that tried its best to look like it was a proper establishment, but probably had suspicious sources from where they bought their meat. It didn’t matter much to him; the food was cheap and tasty enough if you didn’t stop to think about where it came from. He hoped it wouldn’t matter to Ari either. Maybe he should’ve asked to meet her at a café or bistro, somewhere bright and pretty, with bouquets of flowers as decoration. She might’ve liked that better. Camm had a girlfriend now, but he was still pretty clueless when it came to figuring out what they wanted.

“Two butterbeers, please.” He waved at the waiter as he ducked into an empty booth, the fraying red vinyl giving a soft hiss as he sank into it. He wondered how long it was going to take for Ari to arrive, and how late he can justify staying. But most of all he wondered if she was even going to show up. Surely she had better and more interesting things to do than meet him for lunch.

@Ariana Laurier welp i tried

Ariana was glad that her relationship with Camm hadn't suffered the same way that her relationship with Freya had during the past year. The thing about Camm was that while, since he was one of her best friends, he had known about the things going on with her, he hadn't really made a big deal out of it. She knew that Camm, like Freya, had enjoyed some aspects of the dome, or at least been more motivated than demotivated by them, but he hadn't seen the need to pressure her about her behavior, even though he might have seen it as problematic. There was very little pressure in her friendship with Camm, and it had been like that since she had met him on their very first train to Hogwarts. For that, he had the honor of being Ari's oldest friend, save her siblings.

Camm had asked her to meet him as a pub, and Ari got lost twice on the way, since it wasn't a place she'd been before. She'd even resorted to getting out her wand and asking it to "Point me," which it had, although sometimes even being informed where north was by magic more capable than her brain apparently didn't completley solve her problem. Finally pushing in the door, she scanned the rows of red-upholstered booths before seeing his stocky figure. "Camm, I'm sorry, I got super lost, especially coming from this HR training," she said as she slid into a booth. "I guess I don't know this town very well yet, commuting doesn't help with that," she laughed. A waiter swung by with a pair of butterbeers. "Thanks," she added as she took a sip, the warm liquid going down her throat.

With Camm, Ari slid into easy conversation, not bothering with all the ps and qs of protocol. Although the subject might seem like small talk to a stranger, it was out of genuine interest that she dived into asking about the updates in her friend's life. "How's the Prophet? Gone on any exciting assignments recently? How's Isla?" Ari wasn't as familiar with Camm's girlfriend despite the fact that they had lived together at Hogwarts; she considered her a friend but they'd never been intimate, so she hadn't seen her. Then again, she hadn't seen Freya until just a little bit ago, so maybe that wasn't a great tell.

"Hey, don't worry about it," Camm gave Ari an easy grin, glad to see one of his oldest friends. "Since when was I known to be a stickler over these kinds of things?" Following her lead, he took a sip of butterbeer as well, enjoying how sweet and smooth it tasted, unlike real beer. "I'm just glad you made it, honestly. You've been busy with auror training stuff." He added the last statement as an afterthought, because she had been. They've both been busy settling into their new lives, although it felt slightly more legit with Ari. It was funny though, how their roles were almost reversed; back in Hogwarts he'd been the one absentmindedly losing his way, and now it was her turn. How anyone can feel lost in Diagon Alley was incomprehensible to Camm though. He knew the streets better than the back of his hand, almost like he'd grown up in them.

Life was going pretty well for him, and he said as much to his friend. "Nothing much really. I think they're trying to drum up some controversy with the whole dome thing, about it being a conspiracy? But it's honestly just a bunch of nutters. But I guess I can't complain," Camm shrugged. He never hid how he felt about the newspaper, if it could still be called as such, but it was harmless now. There were the propaganda pushers but no one really listened. "Isla's doing well with her art. It's amazing." He smiled a soft smile that only a boyfriend would when talking about his girlfriend. She really was doing amazing things, much better than him as far as freedom or expression and all that stuff goes. What he does is hardly art. He wasn't sure if it was anything. "How about you? Anything interesting going on your end I need to know about? Boyfriends? Suitors?" Most of their peers experimented in their school years; some were after casual relationships, and some became something more, but Ari stayed resolutely single, which was unfair. She was an awesome friend and a nice girl, she deserved someone equally nice.

@Ariana Laurier this is what happens when i try to write at 6am in the morning with no sleep ahahaha >>

Ari grinned back at him, her momentary frazzled state of mind evaporating as she settled back into the rhythm of their friendship. She shrugged and repositioned the pendant on her necklace. "More like generic Ministry training," she said with a laugh, although she inspected the sleeve of her robe reflectively. She'd been thinking about becoming an Auror for so long that it was strange to actually be wearing the robes of even a trainee Auror. "Some days I don't have training, but then I'm not in London, so it is what it is. Who are you staying with right now?" She knew that Camm was bouncing around between friends' couches, and since Titius knew very well that letters went to people not addresses, she wasn't sure where he was at the moment.

She made a face. "Oh yeah, some great conspiracy, our school trying to murder all of us. Seriously, don't they have anything better to write about? None of us want to hear the word dome again." Ari had given up on getting the Prophet delivered, picking up discarded copies lying around Ministry break rooms instead. Ari gave him a knowing and quite cheeky grin when he started to talk about Isla. After everything that had happened...before in his love life, it was nice to see him so happy about it. "Aww, it's cute when you talk about her. I'm glad she's well." Maybe they should meet up now that she was dating Camm. It would be good for them to be better friends, Camm was one of her best. She hoped Isla wasn't concerned about her or anything.

Ari snorted a little. "Yeah, right. Freya wants me to go to a party this weekend, but otherwise I haven't been anywhere since graduation. But we made up?" She smiled, and then she paused. "Yeah, the only person I've seen outside of work--Alex and I have been going to all the same trainings and all--is Dennis Creevey. D'you remember him from 1st-3rd year? He asked me about the battle." She took another long drink from the butterbeer bottle, looking out the window. "I told him how his brother died." Her tone was soft, wistful, wondering if there was any other way it could have happened. She wondered if they'd ever speak again.

"Ahh, um, Archie. You know that bloke with the really strange habit of blowing his nose every time he goes down two flights of stairs consecutively? That's the guy." Come to think of it, Camm had met many interesting characters in Hogwarts he might not've met elsewhere. Would he have become friends with Archie on his own accord? Probably not. But they were friends now and he let Camm sleep on his couch, so that was all that mattered.

The Hufflepuff graduate raised his glass of butterbeer as a silent touché. The dome was different from the war; there were no sides to pick, no conflict of interests, no devastating outcome. People were hurt but it was something they could brush under the rug until it was funny to remember. And he supposed that for him, something good actually came out of it. "You're just saying that. You know I've never been cute, or whatever you girls prefer to call it." He grinned good-naturedly, the tip of his ears growing hot again. Talking about Isla comfortably with other people was still something he was going to have to get used to.

Huh. Dennis Creevey. There was a name he didn't hear very often. Due to what happened back in fifth year Alex had been a touchy subject for Camm, but that was behind them now. At least, he hoped it was. Dennis, however, he hadn't really known, other than what happened to him. "Has he been holding up alright?" He murmured softly, almost as if he was talking to himself. It still seemed surreal to him sometimes, that they were technically still teenagers but survivors of a war. He didn't like remembering, but he didn't think he could ever forget either.

"You should go." Camm said, louder this time, tapping his knuckles gently on the table in a steady rhythm. "To the party with Freya I mean. I'm sure she has only the best intentions for you. What are friends for, right?" He gave a pointed smile at Ari. If the Gryffindor was thinking along the same lines as he was, anyway.

"Oh, Stewart's roommate?" Ravenclaw always produced some of the odder students at Hogwarts--it was the sort of place where that strangeness was encouraged, she felt. Archie was by far the weirdest kid in their year, though. "I always wondered how he got to class on time when he was going from Divination to Herbology. Poor guy had to Scourgify his hankerchief every time," she laughed. "Is his place clean, at least? He certainly has enough practice with those charms."

She gave her friend an indignant look. "I am not! Ari Laurier does not 'just say' things and you know it. Besides," she grinned and pointed her wand lazily in the direction of his reddening ears, teasing, "I think cute is the only possible word for that." Flicking her wand to conjure a tiny mirror, she held it up for emphasis, raising an eyebrow for effect, before vanishing it again. She knew she was preying on his most vulnerable part but they were good enough friends that it wouldn't go over that poorly.

"I don't really think so," she said honestly. "Being in school still seems hard, and he's...disillusioned with Wizarding  society, and..." she swallowed, reaching down for her drink so she'd have something to swallow. "I kind of got the feeling that he's looking for answers no one can give him, I guess." She shook her head. She didn't know enough and she wasn't close enough to him to be doing this kind of armchair psychology, so she tried to focus on the now. Narrowing her eyes and looking at him, she queried his intentions. "Trying to get me set up, are we? Don't worry, I already promised her I'd go. No promises on accepting dates though."

Camm shrugged, "Hey, don't ask questions you don't really want answers to, am I right?" He joked. It was not really fair on the guy, since he was probably one of the tidiest guys he knew, but what's conversation between peers without a little good-natured ribbing? What he didn't know won't hurt him. "I'm sick of couch surfing though. It's alright for a while, then you really start to feel like you're intruding." It was one of the worst feelings in the world, the thought that he might be mooching off of his friends and freeloading, just like his brother had. He wanted to stand on his own feet, not live off the goodwill of his friends.

"Okay, hey! Hey hey! That was uncalled for!" The tips of his ears grew warmer still, and that warmth spread quickly. But he couldn't help but laugh, blocking off his own reflection. He'd never thought he was pleasant looking like some of his schoolmates, but he didn't mind; nothing Ari ever said or did to him was with malicious intent. He could probably try and work on that whole self-esteem issue too.

The smile on his face faded a little when he heard about Dennis. Camm had been lucky, he didn't lose anyone important during the war. How the Gryffindor could even come back to Hogwarts, sleep in a bed his brother might've slept in, he never knew. It must've taken a lot of internal strength and courage. "Poor bloke. I wish there was something we could do for him. But I guess that's not what he would want." And Camm got it. He never wanted sympathy from anyone when it could be so easily misread as pity.

"If I were trying to set you up, you'd be over at Archie's place instead of sitting in a bar." He said teasingly, motioning for Ari to drink up. She was not making progress on her butterbeer at all. "Why not, though? You're not holding out for anyone special, are you?"

Ari's eyebrows shot up before she burst out laughing. "No way. I don't believe you. Archie has to be clean." She looked at Camm sympathetically. "Hey, have you looked into getting a place yourself? Is it just the rent?" Ari hadn't done proper research into the matter herself, but she was thinking about it. Living at home like Edmund had for so long was doable, with Apparition, but she wondered whether she would be able to be fully in the mindset of her adult life if she stayed at home for so long. She didn't really know where to begin looking for an apartment, though. Freya would probably be able to recommend something, having just been through the process. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to consider renting a room at The Leaky Cauldron for a while, but it wasn't cheap.

She smirked at Camm's protest, especially when he put a hand in front of the mirror before she Vanished it. "Come on, you needed to see that. Totally worth it." It felt a little like cheating, though. Ari was rarely put in positions that elicited a lot of blushing.

"Yeah, that's how I felt. I let him walk out, in the end," she said softly. "He's not the type of person who wants anyone's pity, I think. He brushed it off whenever I tried to apologize or urge care or anything." Dennis was a man who would hurt himself and appreciate the pain, she thought. At least it would be feeling something.

Ari put on a face of mock horror. "You wouldn't dare," she laughed. "I'm lousy at cleaning charms." She actually wasn't, but it was worth it for the laughs. Taking another drink obediently, feeling the warmth settle in her stomach, she thought how different this was from that meeting she'd had with Dennis, where she'd gone for the drink in order to ease the tension time and time again. Here, she was much more relaxed. Ari thought back to the time Chris Jenkins had asked her out, back in fourth year, and how she'd rejected him out of pure surprise. She bit her lip. "I dunno, what does that even mean? I mean guess I don't want to go out with just any random person that I don't click with, and the timing's never been great. Besides," she said, taking another sip, "I don't really know anything about dating, you know?" Who else had there even been? Prosper had been very charming that one night, but she sort of thought he was like that with everyone. Jeremy had walked in on her in the bath once, but they'd just kind of laughed that one off. Skylar had tried to set her up with Derek, but they'd both been too awkward for anything to come of it. She knew that Camm didn't consider himself terribly well-versed in this department either, but at least he'd gotten somewhere with Isla. Made a real romantic connection. "Maybe I'll stay single forever," she laughed. It wouldn't be that bad, would it? She'd been single for nearly 19 years now. She liked to think her life was okay, given the circumstances.

Camm just smiled again, neither confirming or denying Ari's suspicions. The smile turned into a sort of grimace when the topic of getting his own place came up. "Well..." He started slowly, "Yeah, of course. I've saved up a good amount of money already, and I guess that's why I've been living on people's couches. It's just... living alone is going to be hard for me, which is why I'm still trying to save up more." Most of his friends either had roommates, or the only free space they had was the couch or the floor. It was doable for him, for now, but ultimately he wanted a place where Caoimhe could stay with him during the holidays. It was something he didn't need to say, but assumed that Ari would know was on his mind, having been friends for that long.

He rolled his eyes at Ari but didn't return her jab when she Vanished the mirror away. It was... odd, and he almost had an out-of-body experience, watching the two of them sitting together, sharing drinks and laughing. And at the same time there were people like Dennis who were still dealing with the effects of the Battle. He had no idea what he did to have earned these moments of happiness, if he deserved them. That wasn't something he wanted to think about right now, and he tried to push these negative thoughts to the back of his mind. "He doesn't seem like it either. I expect he just needs some time, and we both know how that's like." He punctuated his sentence with a gruff nod, and took a sip of his drink. He was already running low, fancy that.

The solemn expression slid into another smile. That felt much better now, although he was probably sure the younger him would've disagreed a couple of years ago. "I dunno." He shrugged, mirroring his response to Ari's question. He'd never been much of a dating guy himself, but that wasn't because he didn't want to, it was more so due to circumstance. He probably went on a date with Skylar, but at that time they'd both been unsure of whether that constituted as one. Based on what happened after, he guessed it probably didn't. "Dates are easy for girls. Just wear something clean - doesn't even have to be pretty - go to dinner, and let the guy fumble his way through. Besides, you never know if you don't give it a shot." Leaving for a minute for Ari to think about what he said, he made a quick trip to the bar and brought back a pair of ciders. Butterbeer was nice and all, but it sat too heavily in his stomach. "Maybe you'll meet someone during training," He suggested with another cheeky grin, "Anything's better than the thought of both of us at forty and you're complaining about all the missed opportunities in your youth."

Ari read into the unspoken words, knowing that Camm was worried about his sister. Camm had always been protective and concerned about Caoimhe, and her father was...well. Unstable. She'd always felt that Camm warred between wanting to go home to make sure she was okay and wanting to avoid his stepfather. "Do you have to live alone?" A thought occurred to her, but she wasn't sure how Isla might take it. She really needed to talk to the Scottish girl more. "I mean, especially if it would help," she said meaningfully, "I wouldn't mind moving out. We could split rent." She looked at her friend queryingly. Kate might be a bit sad, but her little sister was also way more independent now that she was going into her fourth year.

"Well, no one's asked recently either," she pointed out. Ari supposed she could ask someone herself, but she didn't really feel like that about anyone right now. "I'll keep the advice in mind if anyone does, though," she joked as he stood up and walked to the bar. Taking one of the bottles as he came back, she sipped the crisp, light liquid. "Yeah, the thing is, I basically know everyone already, at least a little. There aren't that many wizards in Britain, and most of the other trainees are within a few years of us." That was the thing about all wizarding children going to the same school. It wasn't like she was close with everyone in their year even, and there were probably people at least one year above that she'd never heard of, but combine age with a similar professional interest and the likelihood of there being strangers dwindled exponentially. People still developed relationships after school, but she suspected it took the change associated with the passage of time.

Camm was silent for a moment as he tapped his fingers thoughtfully on the polished, but visibly worn tabletop. "Are you having me on?" The former Hufflepuff took another sip of his drink, his sideway glance at Ari slightly suspicious. It would be the perfect solution– he could give his room to Caoimhe during the holidays, and she'd probably feel more comfortable with another girl in the house. She was so smart and polite, Ari would have no problem getting along with her. It'd be much better than him sharing a place with his mates. "That'd actually be proper tidy, Ari, but will your family be alright with that?" Her family wasn't like his. They were normal. They'd probably ask questions like "who's this boy you're moving in with" and actually be worried about her well-being, unlike his mum. The last thing he wanted to do was to put pressure on his friend.

"Know everyone, huh?" He smiled, ready to tease again, "I wonder if that'll hurt your chances with potential boyfriends then, with me being in the way if we move in together." He kept the statement as light as he possibly could. It'd be stupid if she was just kidding and he was the only one who took the suggestion seriously, although Ari had already seen plenty of his stupidity already she's probably used to it by now. "Maybe you need to lower your standards," Camm suggested. From what he could remember, there were plenty of boys who'd shown an interest in her, but nothing ever came out of it. "The nice lads can't all be taken already."

@Ariana Laurier i told you i'd do it and it only took me forever

Ari watched the impact of Camm's fingers on the tabletop as he thought about it. "What?" Her tone was slightly indignant. "Of course not, when have I ever been the type?" She waved her hands, brushing off the concern. "They won't mind, they know all about you, you're my oldest friend after all. I mean, Kate will be a little sad, but I'll still go home for the hols and she has school most of the year anyhow. It'd be kind of nice to live closer to work and friends, really. Exeter's kind of far, you know? We could explore the city and whatever." Drumming her own fingers on the table more energetically than he had earlier, she offered a smaller, sheepish, "Actually, I'm more worried what Isla would think? Would she mind?"

The 19-year-old pursed her lips belligerently. "Well maybe I'll just use your existence as a way to scare off the annoying ones, then," she said, making a face across the table at him. They might be adults now, but with a friendship this old, there was probably always going to be a little bit of the twelve-year-olds they had been around them. Ari had certainly been wilder as a child than the adult she'd turned out to be, even if Camm hadn't been. It was probably a good thing he'd been so shy back then, or he'd never have put up with her.

"Camm, are you giving me that refrigerator talk? Someone tried to tell me that dating was like going to the fridge and not finding anything you wanted to eat, and that the answer was lowering your standards and trying again," she groaned, burying her face in her hands momentarily. "Whenever I do that, I end up eating raw tomatoes or something. I'm really not sure it's better." She sighed. "I don't know, I guess there are foreigners in London. Or I could just wait for some people to grow up. I bet people like Danny will be tolerable in ten years after they've had enough of sneaking looks at all the girls' bras they can find," she chuckled. She was mostly jesting--she liked Danny just fine, although she had heard enough from Freya to know that she wasn't making it up in principle.

"I dunno, there are nice people, I just haven't made that connection, I guess." Ari took a sip of cider, glancing around the pub. "By the way, did you want any lunch with these drinks? I mean, I have the afternoon off, you're the one with the desk job. Just, if this is normally what you do for lunch I think I'm supposed to advise against it," she joked.

It still felt like something new to Camm every time someone said they wanted to spend more time with him. Or when @Casey Regan offered to take him to a Regan Christmas gathering one year, and now when Ari said her family knew about him. It felt nice; he hadn't really felt like the sort of friend you'd proudly show off to your parents before, he'd never been cool enough, or bright and outgoing and all that good stuff enough. But as he was digesting this new feeling, and the thought that perhaps he's slowly becoming a person worthy to be confident about, Ari had already gone on speaking, and he only managed to catch the last bit of her question, "No, not really. She's not that sort of girl." Besides, he was sure she'd be understanding about his situation. That's what he liked about her.

"Well then I might just come in handy sometime, don't you think?" There was nothing inherently bad about the guys in their year, just none he could see Ari dating realistically. Maybe he'd be proved wrong in the future, but right now he didn't mind acting as a deterrence if it could help his friend out. He considered for a brief moment whether to really give matchmaking a go, but just as quickly dismissed the idea. Ari probably wouldn't appreciate too much meddling.

"You know I have completely no interest in giving you a talk of any kind, Ari," the former prefect commented drily, "And I don't think placing your hopes in foreigners is very wise." He gave a friendly pat on her shoulder, and refrained from commenting on any of Danny's behaviours. It might lead to awkward conversations he didn't like to have at midday. "I meant it as more of a... reminder? You probably have way more sense than I do when it comes to relationships anyway. Merlin knows you've seen enough of it."

"Ah damn," Camm groaned after a glance at the magical clock on the wall, "there's a shoot in the afternoon I really can't miss. Another one of those charity groups trying to get their name out there." He resisted the urge to roll his eyes at that; it seems nowadays there are more people "trying to help" than people who actually need help. "Best wrap this–" Camm gestured to the now empty bottles– "up soon and get some proper lunch. I have a feeling I'm going to need the energy later," he muttered darkly.

Ari didn't see anything stopping the plan if Isla wouldn't be worried about it. She started to think ahead--where could they find a cheap two-bedroom? Above some shop in Diagon Alley? Somewhere in the Muggle parts like on Ladbroke Grove? She would ask Freya, but she suspected that their rent was higher than what she and Camm could afford, considering Finn's Magpies salary and how excited Freya was about her ensuite. She didn't think she and Camm were landing a room with any kind of ensuite. "Yeah, seems like the primary reason we should do this," she said with a bit of a smirk. "And hey, you did start this whole talk about 'boyfriends' and 'suitors', I wouldn't put it past you sometimes," she laughed. "If I don't place them in foreigners I'm not sure there'll be any hopes at all," she continued, mostly joking. "And maybe, but I'm not sure I learned that much from anything I saw." Between Skylar and Alex and Freya and Kerr, she wasn't sure she'd learned anything that really applied to her. Her friends seemed to be looking for different things than she was.

That was the thing--Ari felt like she had been through so much here in these last years that she needed someone who understood it. And so far, the only person who she felt like got anywhere close, bizarrely, was @Dennis Creevey, who had more demons than she could count and would probably never speak to her again. She didn't think he'd be a good relationship match or anything, but at least it didn't feel like something papered over between them when they had talked about it. Even with Camm and Freya, who had been there--they'd gotten something out of the dome that she hadn't, maybe because it didn't remind them so much of that night--she didn't know. Or maybe she was looking for someone who hadn't been there at all, whose lens couldn't clash with hers. 

Looking back up as he groaned, Ari gave a huge shrug. "As long as they're not connected to the conspiracy groups, I can't complain," she said drily, following his glance to the clock. "But that's probably a good idea." Rummaging around for a few Sickles for the drinks on his tab, she found two Galleons but not quite enough Sickles and squinted at them, not wanting to ask him to make change. "You know what? I'll pay you back in rent," she grinned. Standing up to stretch, she waited for him to head out simultaneously. "Next Saturday for checking some places out?" Shielding her eyes from the sun, she craned her neck around to find the place she always bought socks from, remembering she'd ripped a pair, and started heading in that direction with a wave. "I'll send Titius by!"

[out]