I wondered what I did to make you hate me [Darren]

Most eighteen year olds were still financially dependent on their parents. They either lived at home while studying, or working their first job, or even if they had their own place, many of them still scuttled home when shit hit the fan - a quick loan to cover emergencies... support when it was needed. Alvin didn't have that. It was over a year since he'd last seen his mum... and the last time he'd written to her, it had been him sending her money. His opinion of her had shifted somewhat over the last eighteen months. The resentment that had clouded his vision of her for so long had evaporated away and he saw instead a struggling woman, battered by life and deposited on the scrap heap. She'd been a bad parent, but Alvin had gotten to a point where he'd stopped blaming her for it. As for his father... well it was over a year since Alvin and his brothers had removed him from the picture. Vin still thought about it, although the nightmares in which Aurors kicked down his door and dragged him off to Azkaban had now stopped. He didn't regret what they'd done, but sometimes he wished that he really was as cold and detached as he liked to let everyone else think.

Without parents to turn to, Alvin's options were few when things got tough. Well, that wasn't strictly true. There were plenty of options - Elias had made it quite clear that his parents were willing to help Alvin out, Jane had practically begged him to stay with her and Ryan, and Vin had had a couple of offers from his new team-mates. But all of these options felt... wrong. Alvin didn't want charity, and that's what they felt like. And he struggled with people being... nice to him. It felt unnatural. It felt suspicious. He found himself holding his breath, tensing up, hyper aware of everything as if he expected chaos to engulf the world at any moment. As much as Jane wanted him to sleep on the couch there, Vin knew he wouldn't be able to cope with living with her. He'd only resent her kindness and end up snapping at her... and probably scaring off the one person who actually cared about him in the process. Besides, Ryan wouldn't be thrilled, and it might end up causing issues between the two of them... and Alvin hated the fact that he found himself caring about that. He really was going soft. Which was all the more reason for him to do the really stupid, totally irrational and quite possibly crazy thing that he was about to do.

He lifted his chin as the grate slid open to reveal a pair of suspicious eyes. He said nothing. He wasn't exactly a regular at the Devil's Den, although this wasn't the first time he'd been and he didn't anticipate any trouble getting through the door. If he couldn't manage this, it was definitely time to go drown himself in a bathtub.

The door slid open and he headed inside, eyes sweeping the room looking for the familiar figure that still had the power to strike fear into him even from across the room. Even when his back was turned. He'd recognise Darren anywhere. His brother could have been sporting a completely different haircut and wearing bright yellow robes, and Vin's heart would still hitch up a beat when he saw the back of his head. He swallowed, and paused, wanting a moment to steel himself. But then Darren was turning, and their eyes were already locking, and for a moment Vin felt an overwhelming mix of emotions - fear, yes, but also a desire to share his good news, a need for approval... and relief that his brother was still alive and looking reasonably well - and then, inexplicably, he found himself dropping his gaze. Submitting.

Things had changed. He no longer felt filled with the urge to hurt Darren. To irritate him. To get revenge. All these years he'd spent hating Darren, resenting the way that he'd treated him, wondering what the hell he'd done to deserve it all... but now he understood. Because it was Darren's lessons that had made him into the man that he was. Darren's lessons were what had prepared him for not only all of the dangers at Hogwarts, but in the world beyond too. Darren's lessons were the reason that Vin was still alive.

@Darren Hadditch

Some people can't be saved. Some people crumble under the weight of their own insignificance until they become numb to the fact that they don't matter. They resign to it. Give in. Live their little lives day in and day out leaving nothing behind but carbon and waste when they finally grace the world with their exit. People like that leave nothing behind. No memories, no lessons to be learned, just a boring tale about nothing. Darren Hadditch would never be one of those people. He was born as nothing but he'd be damned if the world didn't fear him while he was here and remember him when he was gone. He had always had plans. Big plans. And after Hogwarts those plans had been shaken right to their very core. He'd had to learn the hard way just how much he hadn't mattered. No one needed him but more importantly no one feared him. He could feel all of the power he'd once had slipping right through his bruised fingers and bloody knuckles but nothing lasts forever.

Like hardened steel Darren had managed to come through the forge, burn scars and all, a force to be reckoned with. He wasn't the biggest bad on the street but he wasn't exactly some pipsqueak with delusions of grandeur either. He had enough smarts and violence to make something of himself and climbing the corporate ladder of Oogie's organization was where he belonged. He slammed back another shot with a few other men belonging to Grim's team, celebrating another successful mission. He was beginning to make a name for himself and the respect he got from being a part of the army gave him back the confidence he had quite nearly lost. He'd been broken by Grisha but he had more than rebuilt him since then. Darren was faster, stronger, and had learned when to keep his mouth shut. And if nothing else he'd learned from a professional exactly how to strike fear into someone.

"I got the next one boys." He told the guys as he kicked his chair out from behind him and turned toward the bar. There was a smile on his face in that moment, the smile was soaked with pride, but when his dark eyes fell onto a familiar face that wasn't as little as he'd remembered the smile began to fade into something colder. Since the night they had done away with a nuisance that had plagued them their entire lives Alvin seemed to of grown up about ten years. Darren didn't see him like a pesky little shit not paying attention anymore but that didn't mean the lessons were over. A thousand thoughts ran through his mind in that moment until he settled on one. "Got some witch pregnant did ya?" He said dismissively before pushing past his younger brother and continuing to the bar, fully expecting Alvin to follow along. Darren would never admit it but he had been following Alvin's team this year, keeping tabs on him, in the same way he was keeping tabs on Ryan and Kelly and yes even Jane.

Of course he wasn't expecting a happy or tearful reunion from his brother but Darren's choice of greeting still irked him. He didn't even get a hello. Fucker. Alvin rolled his eyes, shoving his hands deep into his pockets as he automatically turned and fell into step behind, a shadow at Darren's heel. "Not as far as I know," he answered, leaning against the bar when they reached it, "Couple of muggles, but they don't count, right?" he joked, his tone and face deadpan.

He shifted a little uneasily, surveying Darren in silence now that they were closer. Jane had said that Darren had changed, and Vin could see what she meant, but... he wouldn't call it a change. Jane had never seen the same Darren that Alvin had. The Darren who tortured him as a kid. The Darren who held a lit cigarette against his face, who choked him to the point of passing out. The Darren who cast that final curse like it was a simple schoolyard hex. Alvin swallowed, his gaze tearing away from the older Hadditch and focusing along the bar on a nice, safe, empty spot. Darren hadn't changed, he'd just found a world where he could be the sadistic bastard he'd always been and turn it into a career. Maybe he'd learned control, and to channel his talents, maybe he'd gained confidence, found his footing. Maybe he'd evolved from larvae into his winged form... but he'd always been a wasp. He hadn't changed.

But Vin had. Or at least, he thought he had. This could have been his future. Thirteen-year-old Alvin had certainly thought so. Thought himself destined to be nothing more than a footsoldier for one evil bastard or another. He didn't have the brains that Darren did. In this world, while Darren soared, Vin's role would only be muscle. But by some twist of fate, this wasn't his world. Deep down he still felt like he didn't deserve to play pro. That it was all some false hope or cruel joke that would eventually unravel and he'd be kicked back to the gutter where he belonged. As much as he liked to act like an arrogant and confident guy, a life of hard knocks had left his self-esteem on a knife edge. And sometimes it was easier to expect the worst. Then it wasn't such a disappointment when it turned out to be the truth.

He was expecting the worst today. Rejection. That was always the lowest point for Vin. He expected Darren to laugh, to tell him to fuck off. Would it hurt less, when he knew it was coming? Probably not. He'd spent his life desperate for the approval that Darren never gave.

"So I'm playing for the Falcons now, dunno if you heard..." his voice was careful. There was not an inch of bragging in his tone. He knew very well that Darren had once wanted that future for himself - whether he was still bitter about it, Vin didn't know. He assumed that Darren didn't give a fuck about what he was doing with his life. He assumed that Darren was uninterested. He was wrong, of course. He didn't know that Darren was still keeping tabs on him.