Stupid. She was so utterly and completely stupid.
How could she not have seen this before? No, that was the wrong question, because she
had seen the signs. They'd all been there. How could she have ignored her instinct like that? Blinkered herself to the truth? Now she was thinking back over all the late nights and 'work trips'. She'd never asked. Not because she hadn't suspected... but because she hadn't wanted to know. She'd made herself blind to it.
Cezary had owled and told her that he'd be working late. It happened a lot, and Moira knew that Capps was busy. But this night had been different. She'd spent all day trying to perfect her grandmother's steak and kidney pie recipe, and she'd been so proud of her efforts and looking forward to sharing dinner with Cezary. When her husband's owl came, she'd been disappointed. But she knew how hard he worked, how he took the overtime to earn extra money to provide for his family - for her and their son. She couldn't be angry at that. But poor Cezary didn't need to miss out on the pie either, so she'd carefully plated up some, along with fresh boiled new potatoes from the garden, and crunchy greens, all protected with a heat charm, and with Damon on her hip, and Cezary's dinner carefully in hand, she'd flooed to Capps. Corvus had been surprised to see her - that should have been her first clue. But she explained that she wasn't there to disturb Cezary, just to leave him his dinner so that he wouldn't miss out on a hot home-cooked meal.
And then Corvus had told her what deep-down she was sure she already knew. Cezary wasn't there. He'd finished hours ago.
He'd lied.
Embarrassed, she'd told Corvus that she must have gotten her dates muddled up and tried to ignore his raised eyebrow as she thrust the plate into his hands, telling him to enjoy it instead. Moira never got her dates wrong. She was incredibly well organised, and Corvus was all too aware of that.
Cezary had lied to her.
She'd flooed home in a mixture of daze and rage. It had to be another woman. It had to be. All the late nights. The way that he was increasingly detached from her, like he was hiding something. Ignoring her own dinner, she'd put Damon down to sleep, then ransacked their house, looking through Cezary's things, trying to find some kind of proof to justify her paranoia, or prove her wrong and settle her worries. But she found nothing either way.
She couldn't go to bed. Her heart was pounding and she felt breathless, full of adrenaline. She paced the floor of their front parlour, boots marching up and down, clacking over the floorboards and scuffling over the rugs. She had to confront him. She had to ask him. She had to hear the truth.
Was this her fault? She stopped dead in her tracks, wrapping her arms around herself as if shivering from a phantom breeze. Was he not satisfied with her? Was she not pleasing him as she should be? She started pacing again, thinking back over their intimate moments, double-analysing every little detail. She tried so hard, but of course she was lacking in experience. Cezary was all she knew. She'd learned what he liked, but perhaps there was more than he was too embarrassed to ask her for. Or perhaps she was terrible and he'd never let on, not wanting to hurt her feelings. Perhaps she hadn't been what he'd wanted or expected. She shouldn't have asked to go back to work... although rationally she knew that this had to go back further than that. Even back to before Damon was born. Her eyes tilted up to the ceiling, as if she could see through the wood and into the nursery above. What would this mean for her son? Perhaps she shouldn't say anything. Perhaps she shouldn't rock the boat, just continue in willful ignorance...
No. She couldn't. She would never trust him again. She'd drive herself crazy with paranoia. She had to
know. Determined to wait up for him, she continued to pace the room, then, as it got late, she settled in an armchair. Eventually she nodded off.
The sound of crying woke her. Bleary eyed, it took a moment to register her surroundings and realise that the noise was Damon through the enchanted monitor that sat on the coffee table. Getting up with a stifled yawn, she made her way to the nursery, her voice softly reassuring her toddler as she picked him up and gently rocked him. Her eyes darted to the clock on the nursery's wall. 4am. Still no Cezary.
Once Damon was settled, she headed to her bedroom, faced with the obvious - he wasn't coming home tonight - and crawling between the sheets, she curled up and smothered the sounds of her tears.
@Cezary Kowalczyk