[melbourne] old sport [hefin]

It was hot. Zacharias Smith didn’t care to sweat when he could help it, and most of the time he couldn’t so this was especially egregious. Everything felt off here because of the summer sun. Not to mention the time difference, which he didn’t fully understand and was bothered by all the more due to his ignorance. How little he’d traveled was really inexcusable, given the ease of it. Compared to muggles anyhow—his mum had used to tell him how big a deal it was when she took an airplane to America when she was young. Those sorts of stories had always frustrated him a little, or the guilt-inducing tone of them. Well, here he was in Australia. That would have to be good enough for his mum.

(She was mostly just pleased anyone was willing to invite him to their birthday.)

Zach wiped his hair off his forehead as he trudged up the green-lined gravel path, weekend bag slung over his shoulder. He should have apparated closer. But it wasn’t as if he’d known there was about a mile from the gate to the door. He’d had some inkling of his old roommate’s lavish lifestyle, but this estate was honestly some kind of obscene. Reaching the steps, Zach paused in front of the elegant front door. In truth the place probably wasn’t far off from any of the pompous pureblood palaces he’d seen in Britain, but maybe it was just the fact that somebody he used to share a basement bedroom with lived there. It amazed him in that second how far their lives had diverged.

Zach knocked on the door. Before any human response, a shrill avian squawk came from inside. Zach leaned to the side to try and see through the window drapes. “What the fuck?” he whispered. He knocked again. “Hef?”

@Hefin Howell

It wasn’t that Hefin had particularly wished for an excessive birthday party this year, because he did, however his family had especially insisted that he should have a luxurious and exuberant one. But both India and Sylvester had specified that, while the party should be exuberant indeed, it definitely should not be extravagant. Truth be told, Hefin knew that he couldn’t tell apart the line between the two; it wasn’t that for the most part he didn’t even bother to check a dictionary to see the actual difference between the terms, but also the fact that Hef was always keen on trying out new and bold concepts that he got himself lost into all the details. In the end, every party he had organised himself had put the word ‘extravagant’ into the corner, as paparazzi would always like to point out. Therefore, after giving it some thought, Hefin had decided to get someone else involved, someone who would gracefully balance him out, yet also call him a ‘dumb fuck’ if needed.

Zacharias Smith was the perfect person for that.

The quidditch player had intended to invite his former dorm mate and very good friend to Melbourne for the party anyway, so extending Zach’s invitation and stay with a few days extra wouldn’t harm anyone. On the contrary, Hefin was excited to see his friend, and even more excited that Zacharias would stay over for quite a bit. Truthfully, maybe not now specifically, but after graduation Hef found the thought of not sharing a dorm with his friend anymore very awkward. The idea that they would never chat until they fell asleep had been frightening at first, however now they’d experience that again and he couldn’t possibly be any more thrilled than he already was.

Hefin had done his daily routine, just as usual – woke up at the crack of dawn, went jogging for a warm-up, and then did twenty laps in the outdoors pool. The swimming he had found particularly refreshing, as the heat of summer was becoming more and more noticeable. Not that it bothered him, but Hefin was really hoping that the weather wouldn’t be too hot, as he really disliked it when the ocean’s temperature was too high. It definitely made surfing less fun. Regardless of those thoughts, having done all his morning routine, Hef made his way inside the house, to the main hallway, and while he dried his hair with a towel, he looked over that day’s newspaper. Apparently the media was already writing about his future birthday. These people really had no limits.

Placing the towel around his waist, gesture which finally covered up his nude self, Hef noticed that Lawrie was chasing around Venetia, the two parrots violently flying all over the place. “C’mon man, it’s not elegant to force a lady.” He commented, laughing as Venetia landed on his shoulder and made a loud squeak at Lawrie, so loud that the male simply turned around and made his way to the kitchen.

His attention was completely caught by the familiar voice coming from outside, a wide smile appearing on Hefin’s face as he quickly approached the main door, opening it as fast as possible. “Zach, my bro!!” He pulled his friend into a hug, completely forgetting he was still dripping wet from his earlier swim. Loosening the embrace, Hef kept his left arm around Zacharias’ shoulder, encouraging his mate to come inside. “How was your trip? How did you come actually? Portkeys or did you use that muggle airplane?”

One of the maids soon appeared and made a reverence when meeting Hefin’s gaze, along with another one, a bit both more elegant and shy, when spotting the special guest her master had talked about for about two weeks now. “Ace! Take this sexy dork’s stuff to his rooms and tell another to bring us something in the drawing room.”

“Come, come.” Hef now addressed Zacharias again, encouraging him to go left, to the drawing room.

Hefin threw open the door, and Zach’s face was full of damp hair and flapping feathers. Through his incredulity and annoyance, though, he found himself smiling. His interactions at work had been going slightly better than usual but it had been a while since he’d been around someone he really considered a friend. “I’m not letting muggles launch me into the damn sky if I can help it,” he said, letting himself be dragged inside by the wet arm around his neck. “Took a portkey after dinner—let me tell you, this time change is…” He trailed off, watching the parrot that had been on Hef’s shoulder flutter across the wide hallway to sit on a marble bust. Staggered, Zach turned back to his friend to comment but felt he ought to say something else first. “Pants at least, mate,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Please.”

They were joined by a young woman in uniform, who bowed her head respectfully to them both. Zach stared first at her and then at Hefin. Of course he couldn’t just keep a house-elf like a normal person. Everything was as over the top as he could get it with Hef. As much as it it made Zach want to scoff, there was also something about it that fascinated him, he admired it almost. It took a certain degree of confidence, honest confidence. That was enough to amaze him.

The house, though. Zach’s own flat was a studio with peeling paint. Most of the time he didn’t care where he lived; as long as it gave him a private space and kept him dry he barely even noticed. But here he was acutely aware of it. This cavernous, glittering house was giving him a surreal feeling of jealousy, or maybe just frustration that something so decadent was allowed to belong to anyone at all.

He handed the maid his bag and stood there sort of stupidly. “Good Lord,” he muttered, still staring after she had gone. “You’re not hiring, by any chance?” It was a joke, but he’d rather work here than the Ministry of Magic by a long shot.

“Dinner?” Hefin was quite used with the time differences between Australia and the United Kingdom, but somehow still found himself surprised every time when hearing about it. It felt so odd to him that Zacharias already had a full day, dinner included, and there he was, with his morning routine almost done, as he had yet to have breakfast. “Nah yeah, I understand about the sky launching.” Hefin laughed. “My cousin Maxie, he uses airplanes a lot though. Has a severe case of portkey nausea.” The quidditch player shrugged his shoulders, moment in which Venetia flew off, making her way through the hallway. Zach’s eyes seemed to have followed her, making Hefin quite pleased. The parrots were his favourites in the house, so having them admired was the absolute best thing that could happen.

“Pants?” Hefin repeated after Zach, slightly offended. “For the thousandth time, I refuse to let myself be restrained by society’s desire to imprison us with cloths, which are basically dead plants, by the way.” He sighed, letting his arm around Zach’s shoulder slide to his friend’s arm, which he grabbed not quite loosely, but just enough to drag his friend around, to the drawing room. “Plus!” Hefin continued his speech about nudity, as the two made their way into the room and he encouraged Zach to take a seat on a white leather sofa, next to one of the windows. “I don’t have anything you haven’t seen before.” He ended with a playful wink, but his entire moment was ruined as another maid had arrived and threw a golden silk robe on her master’s head, the familiarity of the gesture revealing that it was a common habit to do this.

“Fine, Ace.” Hefin replied quite sarcastically to the maid’s gesture, putting on his robe as she arranged two glasses of iced sparkling lemonade, and a plate of freshly cut fruit, along with a bowl of freshly prepared and icy cold strawberry ice cream ordered especially for Zach by Hefin, on the small table next to the sofa. As she finished, the woman approached Hefin and grabbed his wet towel, nodding in disapproval that he didn’t remove it himself from around his waist before putting on his robe. “You know, this is only because you’re here.” Hefin nodded, glancing at the maid as she was leaving the room. “They’re normally alright with my nudity.” He sighed, taking a seat on an armchair, opposite from Zacharias. His position was quite casual, Hefin letting one of his legs rest on the chair’s scroll arm, as his head leaned against its opposite wing. His other leg was left hanging, the position itself probably revealing a bit too much of his private area, the robe having been tied very loosely.

“Hiring?” The part Australian laughed, as he started toying with one of his more rebellious hair strands. “Well, I’d hire you anytime my dear friend, however, I doubt the maids would approve. That uniform would look much more ravishing on you than on them.” Hefin teased, as he stretched out his arm and grabbed his glass of cold lemonade from the table. “But if you fancy it here, you can just always use your best friend privileges and stay here forever.” He shrugged, half joking, half being serious. More serious than actually joking, truthfully. “You’d just have to, you know, exist and enjoy life. And pretty sure the maids’d line up to prepare your baths.” He let out a soft laughter, remembering that when the first time he had moved to this manor, all the maids were very excited to have a new young master around. His uncle was still very good-looking, but ‘fresh meat’ (to quote one of the maids) was always more than welcomed.

“So how’s your life been? Any interesting and spicy sex stories to share?”  Hefin asked nonchalantly, as if it were the most normal of conversation topics.

“Just because I’m used to it doesn’t make it any better,” said Zach, eyes gliding over the vases and frames instead of his naked friend. “Could be a bit more considerate, is all I’m saying.” He liked Hefin, really he did, underneath all of the over-exuberance and eccentricity. But the man made it difficult to remember. He felt it especially after they hadn’t seen each other for a while, Zach thought. As they worked through the catching up, as he got used to talking to someone again. Socialization had a tendency to feel foreign to him after too long without it. Hef was like being dropped straight in the middle of someplace he didn’t speak the language.

Zach sank into the sofa, letting his head fall over the back. He’d been kidding, but the temptation to take his friend up was real—he hated his job in London, how often had he fantasized about going somewhere where no one knew him? Being handed a comfortable life and asked for nothing in return was the sort of thing everyone wished for and no one got, and Zach didn’t have any doubt that Hefin, ridiculous man that he was, would let him have it. But something in the idea didn’t sit well with him. The thought of change at all was enough to set him on edge for no reason. There was too much space. The maids put him off: he didn’t think he could stand living with people whose job it was to touch your things and who surely had the same distaste for their employer that he had for his. And the shame of it, most of all. He could stomach being useless if he lived at the minimum standard, but not if he lived in luxury. “Don’t know that I’d be able to live with myself,” he said eventually. “I’d feel like your housewife.”

He reached over the arm of the couch for the bowl of ice cream, once the maids had been gone long enough for him not to feel awkward about taking it. As he put the first spoonful in his mouth, Hefin asked him a usual early question. Zach snorted, with an intention of irony but too much affection to carry it off. Hef really had too much faith in him.  “Might not tell you even if I did,” he said, trying to come off more mature than pathetic. “Some of us like to keep some things private.”

“Housewife?” Hefin repeated after Zacharias, immediately bursting into laughter. The comparison his friend came up with was much more than just simply amusing, and it reminded the quidditch played how he had missed spending time with his friend. In his opinion, Zach had the talent of permanently having a touch of sarcasm whenever he talked, and it always had the best of effects with Hefin. He really enjoyed the slight dryness in his friend’s words, Hef himself being a very ironic person. However, it’d have been much more opportune to him if, this time, Zacharias took his words a bit more literally. In the end, having him around more often if not always, seemed perfect.

“I don’t know, I mean housewives tend to work and all that boring stuff. You’d be more of a trophy husband than anything else.” The former Hufflepuff winked teasingly in his friend’s direction, before taking a sip out of the cold lemonade. Its bittersweet taste was heaven to him at that point, Hefin not having had anything yet that day, his morning routine having occupied all of his day so far. Thankfully enough, the maids have planned it all well, as the combination of lemonade with fresh fruits was just perfect for him at that point. Hefin placed the glass on the table and took a fork, with which he picked up a freshly cut small piece of watermelon.

He took a small bite, before turning his gaze at his friend and smirking in his direction. Hefin shifted in the armchair, taking a more socially appropriate position, having his back leaned against the cushion as he crossed his legs, gently swaying the one above. Thankfully enough, this time, he had everything private covered up.

Zach’s reaction to his question had been undeniably sweet. While Hefin wouldn’t openly state it to his friend, he really did believe that. His reply however, had been a bit in too much contrast to the previous snort. He tried his best not to laugh as well, however he failed, his own laughter being quite similar to Zacharias’. “You know what though, mate.” He said, between two laughs. “I’d bet you a million galleons that when you’ll get laid, I’d be the very first person you’d tell. Like, not even five minutes after you split ways with your partner, you would undeniably contact me.” He paused for a bit, playfully biting his lower lip. “But alas, now you know so such a bet would be pointless.” He shrugged, finishing up the small piece of fruit in his fork. “Anyway, while you’re here, it’s deffo my mission to get you have a naughty. Get you have a taste of what Australia's made of.”

There was one thing Hefin really did not understand though, which was why Zacharias wasn’t even more popular with women than he was expecting. In the end, he was handsome, attractive, and also very intelligent. Truthfully, Hef was sure that probably half of the female population of the British Ministry was hopelessly in love with Zach, and the issue at hand was that perhaps none of them was actually his friend’s type. That, or he was too focused on not messing up paperwork. Either way, the idea that Zacharias wasn’t successful in his love life simply didn’t click with Hef. He doubted his friend lied about it, but still maybe it was his own choice of being single, rather than the lack of possible partners.

Running a hand through his still damp hair, Hefin placed his fork back on the edge of the silver platter, and let his left elbow rest of on his knee, chin also ending up relaxing on the palm of his hand. “Talking about keeping things private.” Hef started, his tone being a more serious this time around. “You should know that while I have a lot of things planned for us to do, we’ll have paparazzi on our tail all the time.” The part Australian sighed, not really knowing if Zach would particularly enjoy that specific aspect of his visit. While Hefin didn’t want to make his friend uncomfortable while staying there, that was a side of his life he couldn’t control, as much as he would have liked. Paparazzi had always followed him around since he’d been a child, but for someone with perhaps minimal experience with them it could be problematic. Hopefully, Zach won’t be too bothered by that aspect.

It had been quite funny how Zach emphasised on privacy; while Hefin did want to keep his life as secluded as possible, it had never been a possibility for him. Then again, their notions of what privacy meant were very different most likely. For Zach, it could imply that nobody would know anything about him unless he desired to share; for Hef, privacy meant being lucky enough for a newspaper not to publish what he’s had that morning for breakfast. Part of him was slightly jealous of the life Zach had, really.

Hefin let out a deep sigh, realising that this was possibly not the ideal of situations. “I’ll make sure you won’t be bothered by them too much though, you have my word.” He nodded in assurance, hoping that the fellow former Hufflepuff would realise how serious he was regarding the matter. “Anyhow.” Hef continued on a much lighter tone, straightening his back again while snapping his fingers with excitement. It would be a pity to let that issue get to them, as Hefin had planned out this visit's schedule ever since they’d agreed on Zach spending more time in Australia, and had been very detailed about everything he wanted to do with his friend. “I’ll also take you do all the awesome Aussie things. Within the list there's also hugging a kangaroo and surfing. Both of which, I'm sure you'll love.” He let out a soft laugh, picking up the fork again, to have yet another piece of watermelon.

“Also – ” Hefin paused for a second as he took a bite of the watermelon. “ – let me know if you also want to go sailing for a day, I’ll arrange for a very nice boat.”

Zacharias gave Hefin a wry smile as he laughed. Hef would let him get away with secretiveness, but not without poking a little more fun. Zach had long since learned to endure it. “It would be pointless,” he said. “All I’d have to do would be deliberately tell someone who’s not you. Could do with a million galleons, though.” It had been a joke, obviously, but Zach considered the thought of just being handed money rather than coming to stay. Hefin would probably agree to that too. But Zach would have to ask, which he never would. There was no way to do so without sounding callous and desperate.

Hef leaned forward then and spoke a little more seriously. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Zach sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. “Oh, you’re joking,” he muttered. He probably should have expected something of the kind. He’d heard Hef complain about being followed before but he hadn’t ever really though of it as some inescapable problem, much less that he’d be expected to deal with it by association. The idea that people cared so much was baffling. “After a while you’d think everyone would realize how boring you are,” he said. “I mean goodness, after four or five women it’s just more of the same, isn’t it?”

He was assured that he’d be protected as much as possible, but by then he was too busy being frustrated by how stupid a problem it was in the first place to really care. Instead he took another large bite of ice cream and waited for it to melt while Hefin told him about all the Australian clichés he planned for them to check off. “Whatever, I guess,” said Zach, setting his bowl aside. Surely Hef had some detailed itinerary. The man seemed spontaneous, but he wasn’t at all. There was more of a calculation in most of his actions than most people gave him credit for. He did, at least, get a bit more credit for his stubbornness. “I thought we were supposed to be working on the party, though,” Zach reminded him. Maybe it had just been a weak excuse to get him down here. Nobody would ask him to plan a party if they had any sense at all.

“Who’s even going to be at this thing?” he asked.

While Hefin never approached the monetary subject directly with Zacharias, because it felt mostly inappropriate to do so with friends, the joke that left his fellow former Hufflepuff’s lips got him to wonder if his former dormitory mate could indeed do with some extra galleons. He teasingly smirked at Zach’s words, however, he did make a mental note that for his birthday, when the day will come, he would definitely offer him a very generous amount, claiming that he thought it would be best for Zacharias himself to buy a gift on his own, rather than him picking out something his friend wouldn’t like. It sounded like a good plan indeed, and Hefin will definitely put it in motion as soon as he could. 

He found Zach’s reaction to the mention of paparazzi quite amusing, despite still being worried. This issue had always posed a problem to him and he had openly and childishly whined about it to his friend, gesture which he now regretted, since being with him would also get Zach in the spotlight. However, he enjoyed his friend’s reaction, the dramatic sigh and the rolling of his eyes – considering Zacharias’ good looks, put together with his sarcastic demeanour, it had given him quite the diva aura. And he indeed did not disappoint as well in the irony department. Upon hearing Zach’s comment, Hefin burst into laughter as he clapped his hands in sincere appreciation to his friend’s words. “You know me far too well.” He replied between two laughs, really appreciating the fact that at least someone knew the real him.

Truthfully, Hef was a man who enjoyed routine and generally planned everything quite thoroughly beforehand, so despite the impression of a wild and irresponsible rich playboy which he generally left, deep down he was, as Zacharias beautifully commented, boring. Tragically so. He enjoyed parties and social events as much as anyone would; however, most of the time Hefin attended them because he had to, and not necessarily because he desperately wanted to make a public appearance. In addition, considering how his mother kept him on a tight leash since graduation, even those special parties and events would become rarer at times, leaving Hefin with very little to do.

Not to mention, by far the most boring activity of his life, there was the constant stress of having to go to blind dates. Truthfully, he somehow hoped his dates would indeed find him boring, and just leave. Sadly, that never happened. However, he definitely wasn’t going to mope about his boring self with Zach around.

“Of course we’re planning a party. Half of the reason we’re going to see kangaroos, actually.” Hefin picked up the glass of lemonade and finished in one go, placing it back on the table before getting up from his armchair. “I have this vision of bringing a kangaroo at my party, dressed in a tuxedo, maybe give him a pipe too. Surely, it would startle everyone; and, that’s your answer. Everyone who’s someone’s coming.” He winked, before grabbing Zach’s hand and encouraging him to get up and follow him around the manor.

“Come, come.” Hefin made his way through the hallway on to the entrance, so they could take the stairs. “I’ll tell you more about what plans I have so far for the party as I change, and then we can go check out those kangaroos.” He was naturally very excited, and simply couldn’t wait to share all his ideas with Zach, one more extravagant than the other.

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