All I've ever known was how to hold my own {Ryan}

but now I want to hold you too

Justin was humming happily as he cleared his desk off for the day, neatly putting away paperwork to be filed later, placing his quills in their little box to keep them from disappearing on him, capping the ink well. He waved cheerfully to the others in his department as he gathered his things, wishing them a happy Valentine's Day with the bubbly enthusiasm of someone so clearly in love that it was almost sickening.

If you'd have asked Justin in January if he was looking forward to Valentine's Day, he might have punched you. A month ago, his not-boyfriend Ryan had done his damnedest to break Justin heart, ignoring him and avoiding him.  Justin had given up, given Ryan back the key to his apartment, when suddenly the other boy had appeared out of nowhere, drunk as a skunk and begging for Justin to give him one more chance. He pleaded, teary-eyed, for Justin to take him back. Justin had given Ryan an ultimatum that he was sure the other boy would never fulfill, but Ryan shocked him by confessing his feelings and asking Justin for an exclusive relationship.

Since then, things were going great. He and Ryan were spending every day together, and Ryan was emotionally more open with him than he'd been before. He still wasn't the most verbally expressive guy in the world, but Justin knew what was in his heart, now, and he was getting better at picking up on the nonverbal ways that Ryan preferred to use to communicate his affection for Justin. They fell back into the comfortable closeness they'd had before everything had almost vanished. Justin was incredibly happy.

He apparated to the small alley beside Ryan's apartment, dressed in the pale grey suit he wore to the office, his robe tucked under his arm. Justin opened the door to the flat, their dog Eliza rushing to greet him. He giggled, kneeling down to ruffle her fur as she licked his cheek. "Hello my girl," he cooed. Justin stood up, looking around. "Ryan? I'm back from work!"

[member=22933]Ryan Hadditch[/member]

Ryan was the happiest that he'd been in a long time, and it was all Justin's fault. Ever since the two of them started dating properly, Ryan had felt more lively, more interested in life, and  just plain happy. Work didn't seem a chore. He had more free time, too, because he wasn't always going out. That time wasn't hard to fill, though. Justin had been around more than ever, spending almost every night at Ryan's place and spending most days there as well. Ryan had even cleaned out a drawer just for Justin's things that he left over, so he could go straight to work after spending the night.

He was a little lonely. Jane had given him notice that she was moving out in a few weeks and in with her new boyfriend, Piers. Ryan felt a little replaced but had almost no time to feel bad for himself. He began wondering what he'd do now that she was gone. He knew Darren wanted to move back into the apartment eventually, but that thought didn't seem as appealing to Ryan as it once had. He knew he'd get bullied out of his room if he let Darren and Alvin move in, and wasn't used to it. Unfortunately he also needed some help with the bills, so the chances of Darren moving in were pretty high. It was then that he had an amazing thought. He already had the perfect roommate in mind.

Who else would he want in his apartment than the boy who was practically living there already? Was it too soon to ask Justin to move in? They'd only been exclusively dating for a month, though they'd been unofficially dating for nearly a year. Justin had always spent so much time there that even his dog lived there most of the time. Why pay for an expensive apartment for the city that he never slept in? He could probably even take Janie's room if he needed his own place, not that he expected Justin to sleep apart from him very often.

Ryan wanted Justin there for more reasons that just the bills, though the bills were a consideration. He really expected this to last. He'd never been in a long-term serious relationship before, but he thought for sure that Justin was the one for him. He could see them making it work because Justin was so careful and considerate of him, and seemed willing to put up with a lot of Ryan's crap. Even though they were dating, Ryan still hadn't said the “L” word since the night he'd been super drunk. He didn't know if he had it in him to say, even now, but he knew that he felt it. He knew that he meant it.

He had planned a small surprise for him this evening, a few cliché Valentine's day gifts plus he attempted to make spaghetti and garlic bread. He wasn't the est cook in the world but he could typically get by. He tried using fresh herbs to make it fancy and pulled out the good, ceramic, plates rather than the foam ones he typically used. He was fussing in the kitchen as Justin got home, finishing up the sauce.

On the table there was a large stuffed bear with a key tied around its neck, some fresh-cut flowers, and a box of chocolates that Ryan sincerely hoped to share. They were very cliché gifts but he was intentionally trying to be mushy. He thought that they would be appreciated.

“Hey babe,” He greeted, wearing an apron over his slacks and button-up. His hair was freshly washed and gelled back, though a piece was sticking straight up from the cooking he'd been doing. He put the sauce on low to simmer and went to kiss his boyfriend.

“I...uh.. cooked for you. Or tried. I hope you like it. If it's ruined the pizza place downstairs has a special tonight.” He teased. He led Justin over to the table to look at the presents. “I got you a few presents. They're just as cliché and mushy as this holiday, but I think you'll like them. I hope...”

Justin's face lit up as he spied the presents on the table. He didn't have more than a moment to look before he had an armful of sexy boyfriend taking up all his attention. His arms went around Ryan's waist, holding him close. Justin kissed back, a smile tugging at his lips. "Hey there handsome," he murmured against Ryan's lips before pulling back to give him a very deliberate head to toe look. He thought Ryan was the personification of attraction, but it felt different when he was dressed up and trying to show off. "You clean up nice," he teased, giving him another quick kiss. If they lingered too long, they'd never make it to dinner. It had definitely happened before.

He followed Ryan to the table, finally able to give the items on the table a good look. Justin's smile could light up London, it was so bright. He buried his face in the fresh flowers, inhaling deeply. While roses were customary for Valentine's day, Ryan had somehow managed to find the bright yellow daffodils that were Justin's favorite flower. He wasn't even sure if they were in season right now. The fact that Ryan had remembered something so small but personal made the Hufflepuff's heart fill with affection. It was these little things that helped convince Justin every day that Ryan was really invested in this relationship. He hadn't forgotten the way Ryan had looked, or the desperation in his voice as he'd pleaded for Justin to come back to him. In his heart, the older boy knew he'd made the right choice.

The chocolates he looked at but didn't open up quite yet. He didn't want to spoil his dinner, and he was kind of looking forward to eating more than a few of these off various parts of his boyfriend's anatomy. He squealed in delight at the teddy bear, picking it up to hug it enthusiastically. Something hard pressed into Justin's chest, so he pulled back to look down. His face scrunched up a bit in confusion at the key. He'd already gotten his old key back from Ryan when they agreed to start dating officially so he wasn't sure what this could be for. "Where does this key go?" He asked, curious, examining the bright little piece of metal.

It had been kinda silly on Ryan's part to make the key, considering Justin already had one to his place... but this was different. This was.. well, no, it wasn't that different. He just really wanted something tangible to come with the promise. He wanted Justin to really visualize what Ryan was doing. “Um, well, it's a key here.” He admitted. “I mean... I know you have one, but this one's permanent. I mean... I want it to be permanent.” He stammered.

He took Justin's hands and looked in his eyes. “You know Jane moved out, right? That means I... need someone to live with. I uh... was hoping that maybe you'd wanna move in here. I mean, you already basically do and your dog lives here and why pay for an expensive single flat that you're never in? Might as well wake up next to me every morning, and I wanna wake up next to you.... and all that gay shit.” He said, adding the last part to sound less mushy. His face was red and he was clearly nervous, though honestly what would Justin say but yes? He really did practically live there. They had a dog together. Sure, they had only been boyfriends for a month, but they'd been together nearly a year. It had been building up to this.

“You could even have Janie's room, if you needed your own space, though we could share mine and Kelly could have Jane's room on holidays.” He explained. “Say yes, baby.” He cleared his throat. It was almost a marriage proposal.

Justin was still a bit confused by what Ryan was trying to say, but as his boyfriend took his hand and looked into his eyes, he began to get the picture. Ryan wanted them to move in together, for Justin to give up his flat and commit to living with Ryan here once Jane moved out. Now, any sane person would probably take a step back and look at the situation with logic and poise. They had only been dating for a month. For almost a month prior to that, Ryan had cut Justin out of his life, breaking his heart into jagged pieces. This whole thing was so new to them. If it all went south, Justin would be left homeless until he could find another place to live if Ryan kicked him out. Giving up his apartment for something so new and tenuous was madness. So of course there was absolutely no hesitation in his voice once Ryan was done. He knew exactly what he would say.

"Yes," he replied, voice rough with unshed tears of joy. "I do, want to move in I mean." Justin threw his arms around Ryan, burying his face in Ryan's neck as he took a deep breath. "I don't think I'll need that other room, but I'll keep my clothes in there for now. It'll keep your family from asking questions about where I sleep when they come visit." He knew Kelly would be a regular, and he planned on repainting Jane's room with Kelly's aesthetic in mind. He wanted her to feel at home when she was here, since he knew how close she and Ryan were. Justin liked Kelly too, and they had bonded over the last summer when he'd been by a lot to make sure someone was home to cook for her and Ryan whenever Jane was away.

Ryan was nervous about whether or not Justin would say yes. It was quick to ask. They'd only been dating a month and they hadn't been all that close the month before that because Ryan was busy being a selfish jerk. Even so, they'd been seeing each other for almost a year, and Justin all but lived at Ryan;s house anyway. They had a dog together. Justin had his own toothbrush there. It was time.

His heart welled up when Justin said yes, so quickly and confidently. He threw his arms around him and hugged him tight. “I'm glad.” He said, and he meant it. “That was kinda the.. big surprise.” HE admitted. “But I made dinner and I...” his voice trailed off a little as he looked at Justin. He just had to kiss him. He kissed him hard and leaned him back against the table. He wanted to celebrate. The smell of garlic from the kitchen reminded him the bread was in the oven and he pulled back.

“Mm, don't want to burn anything.....” He quickly got the bread from the oven, and turned it off. Dinner was ready. “Why don't you take a seat at the table and I'll plate up the spaghetti.” He suggested.  He wanted to eat the dinner before they went off to celebrate in their room later on.

He played up the pasta and sauce, and then put some grated Parmesan on top and settled in adjacent to Justin, so their legs could touch under the table. “I...” He hesitated. “I'm really happy, Justin. I think we're going to be really happy together.”

Justin felt his own joy grow as he saw the happiness in Ryan's eyes. Merlin, he loved this boy so much. He hugged back, giggling. "It's the best surprise," he replied, kissing Ryan's cheek with innocent affection. He caught Ryan's eye as he trailed off, cocking his head curiously as the other left off mid-sentence. Justin was about to ask what he was thinking when his mouth was claimed in a deep and needy kiss.

He moaned low in his throat as he was bent back over the table, legs instinctually wrapping around Ryan's waist. The Hufflepuff had forgotten about everything except Ryan's mouth and body against his, but when the younger boy mentioned dinner, his stomach growled loudly. He giggled again, licking his bottom lip unconsciously as he released his grip on his lover. He hopped off the table and wandered into the kitchen to grab Ryan a beer and himself some water he'd flavored with lemon and cucumber. His trainer had said he wanted him to cut down on his sugar intake, so he was trying to cut out sodas from his diet. He refused to give up desserts, so it was sugary drinks getting the axe.

With the drinks set out at their respective seats, Justin sat down just as Ryan brought the plates. His stomach rumble again at the smells wafting up from the food. "This smells delicious, babe." He leaned forward and took another deep breath of the scents coming up from the steaming plates before digging in happily. It wasn't like Ryan never cooked for them, but Justin could clearly see the extra effort he'd put into tonight and it made his heart swell with love. His boyfriend was so sweet.

Justin gave Ryan a tender look, his leg rubbing up against the other's under the table. "Me too, Ryan." His smile was full of all the love he had inside him for this boy. "I'm already really happy, so I think it can only get better." He reached across the table and took Ryan's hand and kissed this inner wrist gently before releasing it. He took another bite, moaning softly at how good the food was. "Mmmmmmm, I love pasta," he sighed. "This is perfect. You're perfect." His smile was brilliant as he looked at Ryan. "Love you, babe."

He didn't say it expecting Ryan to respond verbally. He knew it was still a little hard for him to express himself, but Justin felt how much Ryan cared so he wasn't worried. He'd gotten into the habit over the last month of just saying it casually, like it wasn't anything too heavy. It felt good to say it.