Hide and Seek [Murray]

Hogsmeade weekend had arrived.  There was a general air of merriment around the breakfast table that morning as all of the older students discussed their plans for visiting the village.  Generally such plans centred around grabbing a butterbeer from The Three Broomsticks and stocking up on candy from Honeydukes.  Meredith sat disconsolately playing with a piece of fruit, feeling very left out of the conversation.  In light of her mother’s threat to be waiting for her at Hogsmeade, the seventeen-year-old had decided to skip the visit.  She’d made the excuse to her friends that her new duties as Head Girl and Quidditch Captain kept her too busy and so she needed the time to catch up on homework instead.  Truthfully, however, she would like nothing more than to get out of the castle for the day.

She waved a pleasant farewell to her friends as they headed off, then looking down she noticed that the orange she had been peeling for the last 20 minutes was now little more than a mess of pulp.  Mere threw it down with disgust and then attempted to wipe the citrusy juices from her hands with a napkin.  It’s just so unfair!  The young blonde bemoaned to herself.  She deserved the chance to unwind as much as anyone else but with her options being either to stay back at school or see her mother for etiquette lessons in Hogsmeade, she had opted not to spend her time being criticised and scolded for her behaviour.  If only she could somehow avoid her mum and enjoy a trip to the wizarding village.  Stewing over it for a few more minutes, it then occurred to her – why not?  There would be so many students in Hogsmeade, it would be difficult for Heather to spot her out of the crowd.  As long as she avoided going anywhere that her mother would expect to find her, it could very well be possible for Mere to get away with it.  It would be the best kind of rebellion and right under Heather’s nose too!

If she was quick, the Hufflepuff might be able to catch up with her friends.  Leaving the table and the Great Hall in a hurry, she strode quickly outside and off to the path to Hogsmeade.  In almost no time at all, she had reached the bustling village where she was pleased to see crowds of students milling about, which would provide her with good cover.  Spotting a few of her friends hovering outside of Honeydukes, Mere raised a hand and was about to call out when a thought suddenly occurred to her…  Mum will be expecting to see me with them.  Hesitating, she held back and watched.  Almost as though the thought had summoned her, Heather appeared down the street and began to advance on the group of Mere’s usual girlfriends with a face like a thundercloud.

Gosh that was close!  Meredith was sure her mother hadn’t seen her yet but the threat was still very real.  At any moment, Heather would finish interrogating her friends and would be heading on down the street in Mere’s direction.  Glancing around, she sought a place to hide.  One of the stores perhaps or…  "Murray?"  Her face lit up involuntarily as she laid eyes on her housemate and year mate just down the street from where she was standing.  A few quick steps placed her right in front of him.  Meredith’s feelings towards the badger had grown a little complicated recently so she was both happy and unhappy to see him.  She didn’t like being confused about anything and what with classes and all of her extracurricular duties, she hadn’t really had a chance to give it much thought.  Unfortunately, this was still not a good time to figure it out.  Ducking behind his larger frame, she pressed up against his back and whispered hastily in his ear.  "Quick! You've got to help me hide!"

@Murray Cowan

Murray was looking forward to the first Hogsmeade weekend more than ever. Nearly all of his time had been spent on Quidditch since term had begun, not to mention trying to spy as often as he could on other other house teams to make sure the badgers were a shoo in for the Quidditch cup this year. They just had to win. His studies had taken a bit of a hit, but it was still early in the year. He had lots of time to buckle down and focus on his OWL classes later. He'd spent his time at breakfast that morning discussing plans for Hogsmeade with some of his fellow seventh year friends. He needed a few new quills as he seemed to be losing them in droves, but other than that he wanted to make his time in Hogsmeade worth it with a trip to Honeydukes. Murray needed to restock on sweets for upcoming rat races, after all.

He had wandered with his dorm mates down to the village, only separating from them when they announced their plans to hit up Honeydukes and then The Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer. "I'll catch you up," he said. "I need to pick up a few other things first. Meet you for a drink in an hour?" Murray parted ways with his friends. The badger made it only a few feet when Meredith appeared in front of him, looking shook up. He was so taken aback he had no immediate words for the Head Girl. She didn't seem herself, something was definitely off. Then she spun so she was completely hidden behind him and whispered at his back for help.

"Hide from what?" Murray said, trying to keep his voice down so as not to give the Head Girl away in case whoever/whatever she was hiding from was within earshot. He glanced around, seeing nothing out of the ordinary. "Wait a minute, you said you weren't coming to the village today?" Murray questioned quietly, raising a brow. He made a point that morning at breakfast to ask Meredith if she wanted to grab a butterbeer with the badger, and she'd politely declined. He could see the urgency in the look she gave him. "Come on then, quick," he gently grabbed her hand and pulled her into Dervish & Banges, the shop he had been standing out front of when she'd approached. The pair entered the nearly empty store and headed for a more secluded aisle. He had planned on buying new quills, after all. He looked left and right as they wandered down the aisles until he found the spot he was looking for. The shelves boasted different feathered quills of every colour, simple black quills, even quills that yelled aloud when spelling errors were made.

He let go of Meredith's hand when he realized he was still holding it. He wasn't sure what the current protocol was. Murray was unsure how to treat Meredith after that night in the Hufflepuff common room. It was unlike the badger to read further into things than absolutely necessary, but that situation was nothing he'd ever experienced before. It was amazing, really, even thinking back on it. Sure he'd crushed on a few girls over the years he'd been at Hogwarts, and had one or two girlfriends that he went out with for a month or two. But in all honesty, he'd never felt the connection he needed to feel with someone else. That is until he sat for an hour with the Head Girl in the Hufflepuff common room sharing a blanket. In general, Murray didn't open up to anyone. It wasn't his style. He was the funny guy that everyone loved to joke around with and knew didn't take anything serious. For the moment, he shook off all thoughts of that night from his mind as he was way too interested in learning what Meredith needed to hide from.

Murray pretended for a second to care about choosing a perfect quill, but eventually he let both of his hands drop to his side and glanced up at Meredith. "Alright, spill it," the corners of his lips curled up in a curious smile.

“Murray, please…”  She pleaded in response to his questions.  Mere peeked around his shoulder and then ducked back quickly, hiding her face in the folds of his robes.  Her mother was just up the street, eyes flicking back and forth as she scanned the crowd for Meredith’s tell-tale blonde hair.  “I just need to get off the street.  Now.”  She kept her voice low and hushed, afraid that it might somehow carry over the boisterous sounds of the other students in Hogsmeade.  Holding her breath, she waited, hoping that Murray would still help her even without an explanation.  As reasonable as his questions might be, every second they delayed on the street was putting Mere closer to being spotted by her mum and the last thing she wanted right now was to get into another loud and very public debate with her mother about how to live her life. 

Meredith was momentarily startled when Murray grabbed her hand but recovered her senses in time to step away from the street with him.  She walked close to his side, being careful to keep her silhouette hidden by his.  Any moment she expected to hear the shrill tones of her mother’s voice calling her name or even a clawing hand on her shoulder, dragging her back.  Asking Murray for help had been a gamble because if she was caught with him, she would be in so much more trouble.  However, they passed through the door to the store and down through the aisles without incident.  Coming to a halt in a secluded section surrounded by different coloured quills, Mere took a deep, steadying breath.

She felt giddy with relief and other feelings...  Her heart was beating a fast tempo in her chest - apart from the excitement of eluding capture, there was the matter of the handsome boy holding her hand.  Mere tried not to read into the gesture which had surely just been for the practical purpose of leading her away.  Murray surely knew better than to try anything and she knew better than to allow it.  Yet his hand felt so nice and warm, so reassuring around her own.  Just as she was daydreaming about shifting her hand to intertwine their fingers, he pulled away.

Trying not to pout, she tossed her hair moodily and pretended to be particularly interested in a set of vivid purple quills.  I shouldn't care whether he holds my hand or not. She reminded herself carefully, missing her earlier days of indifference towards the other Hufflepuff.  Yet something was irrevocably different now.  The Head Girl found herself thinking about Murray when he wasn't around and when he was, it took a little too much willpower not to be bamboozled by his smile.  But so what if she thought he was cute and charming, it wasn't like there was or could ever be anything between them. 

As his voice interrupted her musings, she looked over and saw it - that smile.  It made Meredith want to either kiss him or punch him, she wasn't entirely sure.  All she knew was that it wasn't fair for a boy like him to have a smile that sweet.  Even worse was the fact that her lips automatically rose to mirror it with a smile of her own.  "Well..."  In light of all the personal information they had shared during their unexpected late night heart-to-heart in the Hufflepuff common room, there didn’t seem much point in being evasive so she just got straight to the point.  “Its my mum.  She’s out on the street right now and looking for me."  Mere cast a cautious glance towards the front of the store, half expecting Heather to come bursting in, but thankfully everything remained quiet and undisturbed.  Turning back to Murray she gave an exaggerated sigh before continuing with her explanation.  "Turns out that I don't conduct myself in a manner befitting a lady, so I'm supposed to be in etiquette lessons every Hogsmeade weekend.  That's what she was writing to me about the other day."

Slowly she started to twist one of her blonde curls around her finger, in an uncharacteristically nervous gesture.  "I wasn't going to come.  Really.  But I changed my mind at the last minute."  Mere hoped that he wouldn't think she was making up excuses for blowing off his invitation earlier.  Though she'd been turning him down for a long time, she'd never worried about hurting his feelings until now.  "I thought maybe there might be a better way for me to spend my time..."  Voice trailing off, she looked up at him and gave a little shrug.  She would never have planned to hangout with Murray like this but she was not inclined to complain.  "And someone once told me I shouldn't let my mom rule my life.  So here I am." Grinning widely, the young witch batted her eyelashes coyly as her mind added the unspoken thought - Now what're you going to do with me?

Meredith's tone actually worried Murray. It wasn't like the Head Girl to be this worked up over something, which is why he'd reacted as quickly as he did. It just went to show him even more how little he really knew about Meredith. But he was in his prime now. He was good at avoiding things like homework, so why would hiding from something else be any different? When he looked down and saw her smiling back up at him he felt different somehow, but in a good way. He tried not to let his mind wander too far, but in the moment it was easy to forget that they had little to no chance of being together. Oh how he wished the future could hold some potential between the pair.

She's hiding from her mom? Well, whatever Murray had been expecting it surely wasn't that. Why would her mother be in Hogsmeade? He listened intently as Meredith explained how she was supposed to be having etiquette lessons each Hogsmeade weekend with her mother, and then it seemed to click together for the badger when she mentioned the letter. He thought about Meredith's mother wanting a respectable marriage for her daughter and he almost laughed out loud remembering how little stock he'd put into that part of the conversation. Not because he hadn't believed Meredith, but because he found it hard to believe that any respectable mother would be incapable of letting their child fall in love on their own, not to mention make their own choices and mistakes. Obviously Murray's mom wanted him to succeed. Preferably, she wanted him to try to find success and happiness on the farm. But in the end, the badger was sure that whatever his decision, his parents would support him. That's what family is for.

For that reason, he was struggling to put himself in Meredith's shoes to understand how she was feeling, but he'd try. "So, let me get this straight," the badger began, lifting a hand to run through his hair in an attempt to one-track his thoughts. "Your mom doesn't think you conduct yourself like a lady?" Even saying it aloud, drenched in sarcasm, brought laughter to his lips. The whole thing was completely absurd. "I've never met a girl more ladylike in my life thank you," he said honestly, his eyes wide and true. He caught his curious mind wandering into the realm of humour. "What sort of lessons was she going to give you, anyway? Sit up straight, chew with your mouth closed, don't poke at your peas, clean your plate before you leave the table?" he joked, grinning: those were some of the phrases he'd been told by his mother all of his life that had ingrained themselves in his memory.

Murray believed Meredith when she told him that she wasn't actually planning to come to Hogsmeade that day. He hoped, at least, that after the evening they spent together in the Hufflepuff common room he was deserving of truth from the Head Girl, and he was trusting enough to not question it. "Someone did tell you that, didn't they," Murray perked up, his heart warming instantly at Meredith's wide smile. He was rocked for a second when she batted her eyelashes at him but he recovered quickly. Get yourself together, Murray, he told himself. "All I need in here are a few quills, and then we can hide somewhere more fun if you'd like?" he suggested, unwillingly focusing his attention back on the shelf of quills in front of them. Murray grabbed a few basic black quills which were the cheapest in price, knowing his chances of losing them were high and he wasn't about useless spending.

The badger led the pair back up to the front of the shop, stalling before reaching the counter and turning back to Meredith. "You'd better give me a basic description of your mom, so that I can be on the lookout too," he said, before he approached the counter and pulled out a few knuts to pay for the quills. Murray thanked the man at the till and graciously took the shopping bag from him. He held his hand for a moment on the exit door before opening it. "Do you want something to drink?" Murray suggested, the endless options of Hogsmeade reeling in his mind. He was trying to think of locations that someone as classy as Meredith's mom wouldn't dare venture into, but he didn't know the woman and therefore couldn't make a proper judgement. "Ladies choice," he offered up a glowing smile, emphasizing the fact that he still believed Meredith to be a lady.

It was amusing to see Murray struggling to understand her situation.  This must seem so strange to him.  She never would have expected to share so much about her family with someone from such a drastically different background.  Maybe he would never completely understand what life was like for her but she found that she quite enjoyed seeing her world through his eyes and seeing it for what it was – more than a little bit ridiculous.  It was sweet that he thought she was so lady-like, considering that she was practically crude in comparison to some of the other socialites she knew.  “Great!  Do you mind telling my mum that?”  Mere joked and the burst into giggles as she imagined how her mother might react to receiving Murray’s opinion.  Not well.

“Oh something like that, but with half a dozen different forks.”  Meredith replied to his guess about the nature of her lessons with another round of giggles.  "But I'm sure she'd like to reiterate a few key lessons like…  Remember to turn my nose down at the common folk.  Be pleasant and demure at all times.  Under no circumstances express my own opinions.  Don’t hang around with boys…  That sort of thing."  The young blonde rolled her eyes to show just what she thought of such things.  If she were to follow such guidelines, then there was no way she’d be standing here with Murray right now.  It wasn’t like she was the most rebellious sort of person – in fact she generally adhered closely to the rules at school –  but she had always her own spirit and didn’t like being told what to do or how to behave.

“Somewhere more fun?”  She repeated quietly, unsure what he meant by that.  What did a guy like Murray consider fun?  The prospect of spending more time with her fellow badger suddenly felt a little scary but exciting.  However, as long as he wasn’t the kind of guy that thought flicking dung bombs at people was fun, she was willing to see where this went.  She could always head back to school if things got to be too much.  “Well, I’m glad that this isn’t your idea of a great da- day in Hogsmeade.”  Gesturing generally around at the store, Mere shook her head to let her hair fall across her face.  A flush had crept into her cheeks that she hoped Murray wouldn’t see.  She also hoped he hadn't noticed the way she had stumbled slightly on her words.  Unbelievably the Head Girl had almost almost said ‘date’ instead of ‘day’.

Dates were what other people did in Hogsmeade, not Meredith.  She’d seen them – the girls and boys strolling through Hogsmeade hand-in-hand.  It was not something she’d ever admit to anyone but it made her a little jealous.  For all of the privileges she enjoyed from her family wealth and status, there were still some ways in which her peers were richer.  Murray had probably gone on dates.  He certainly flirted with lots of girls and she couldn’t remember exactly but was sure he’d even had a girlfriend or two over the years.  For all I know, he could be in a relationship now!  Mere tried to supress the hot, unhappy feeling that rose in her stomach at the thought.  After all, he would be better off spending his time with someone he actually had a chance with.  And for her part, Meredith didn’t want to waste her time on anyone who wasn’t true love / soulmate material.  With his humble background, his bloodline, his grades – Murray would never be up to scratch.

And yet…

Meredith had crushed on boys before but such feelings had never been more than infatuation based on superficial qualities like good looks, status and wealth.  She'd never really gotten to know them and certainly never shared any personal information about herself with them.  This crush on Murray seemed different – like it was based on something more meaningful.  However, if he was 'the one' surely she would've known from the moment they first met in the line for the Sorting Hat?  That was how such things worked in the stories.  It wouldn't have taken this long for feelings to develop if they really meant anything.  Right?  Of course.  All she needed was a little time and she was sure she’d be able to forget ever thinking about Murray this way.

She followed her year mate to the front of the store and peered cautiously out the front window whilst he completed his transaction.  The street looked promisingly clear of her mother so far.  “Keep an eye out for a tall, blonde witch.  I think she was wearing dark purple robes and an expression like she wants to commit murder.”  Mere was sure that Heather would stand out in the crowd if she was still out there.  Fading discretely into the background wasn’t really the style of anyone in her family.  “You’d know her if you see her.”  Just hope she doesn’t see us first.  It didn’t really seem fair to risk dragging Murray into her drama if they were spotted but the whole situation felt a lot more enjoyable with his company.

“A drink?  Ok.”  Mere carefully considered where they could go for some refreshments but also be discretely hidden from prying eyes.  Stepping back onto the street, she cast her gaze around, searching.  Still clear.  For now.  “Hmmm…  Is the Hogs Head as bad as they say?”  The Head Girl enquired honestly.  In all her years of visiting Hogsmeade, she’d never actually stepped foot inside that disreputable establishment.  “My mother would never follow us there.”  A sudden thought made Meredith pause in a half-turn towards that pub as her destination.  It was second nature for her to expect people to drop everything they were doing for her but Murray might have other plans.  Being more thoughtful of other people was one of the traits she was trying to work on.  Taking a deep breath, she avoided looking at him (and his charning smile) and added, “Only if I'm not keeping you from anything... Or anyone.”  She kept her tone carefully casual and her face impassive.  If he left her alone right now, Mere would probably hate him but she also wouldn’t blame him.

It was hilarious to listen to Meredith's lesson examples that her mother was likely to give. "You're not supposed to express your own opinions?" he laughed aloud, staring down at the Head Girl. "Well you must have missed the boat on that rule," he finished sarcastically with a wide smile. Honestly, Murray couldn't remember a time where Meredith didn't express her own opinions, at least to him. He could remember how long he'd tried (and failed) to gain her attention in a positive way. Meredith wasn't pleasant at all times with Murray but it was understandable. He knew himself how ridiculously persistent he could be but at this exact moment he was glad he didn't give up. "The life your mother expects you to lead sounds awfully boring. I feel like you need more excitement than that," he said, raising a brow.

Unfortunately for the badger, Murray wasn't quick enough to pick up on Meredith's almost mention of this being a date. He hadn't even considered that. Instead he assumed she had stumbled on her words out of fear. He didn't even notice the flush on her face when she finished speaking. He was too preoccupied at successfully hiding Meredith from her mother. Once he was able to ensure her complete cover- Murray could properly wonder whether or not it was a coincidence that he ran into Meredith today. He took note of her description of her mother, specifically the you'll know her if you see her notion, hoping it was true. Murray did wonder, however, what a facial expression might look like if a person was about to commit murder.

Murray listened to Meredith as the pair stepped back out onto the street. He was keeping an eye out for someone matching the description of her mother as they moved away from Dervish & Banges. He heard Meredith question whether he had any plans that she was keeping him from and he turned to her with a smirk that touched his eyes. "Before we head back to Hogwarts, I need a few things in Honeydukes. Other than that I had absolutely no plans for the day," he shrugged easily, smiling warmly. Of course he'd meant to meet his friends at The Three Broomsticks for a drink, but they would understand him bailing. Murray decided at that moment not to tell them why he'd bailed. Something about the connection that he had with the Head Girl was different. It wasn't something to joke about with your friends. And for Murray, that was saying something.

"The Hog's Head just has a bad reputation... But it's fine," he told Meredith with an easy wave of his hand. "You'll be alright if you're in there with me." Murray had been into the bar a few times over the past two years or so. Every single time he'd asked for a firewhiskey and been denied. It was like the barman knew immediately he was a Hogwarts student and wouldn't serve him. The badger always wondered if he'd be served once he became of age. He turned seventeen in June and was over the moon looking forward to testing it out. "Maybe they'll even let us have a drink, you're seventeen aren't you? I bet that'd calm your nerves," he finished with a muffled laugh, trying not to draw too much attention towards them whilst they were out in the open.

He glanced down at Meredith for a moment and his blue eyes locked with her hazel ones. He looked away seconds later, trying to focus on his surroundings and make sure they were still in the clear. As they walked up the High Street without catching sight of her mother, it gave Murray a chance to gather his thoughts. There were two things he was quite sure of; one: he had never felt these same feelings towards anyone. Two: there was absolutely no hope for a future between them. These thoughts bogged him down when he was least expecting it. He could be sitting in a Transfiguration lesson, or just laying in bed waiting to fall asleep on a weeknight. His mind always seemed to turn back to Meredith. It was frustrating, really. Murray knew he had no chance, and yet he couldn't help himself. Every time he saw her in the corridor his breath hitched in his chest. When she blocked a bludger from knocking him clean off his broomstick during Quidditch practice he'd nearly fall off his broom anyway.

What was going on?

Why was he so preoccupied? He'd never felt more drawn towards someone else than he did towards the Head Girl. It was almost scary how little self control he seemed to have around her, especially lately. Murray thought about that night in the common room, about how he'd revealed that his older brother Fraser was on the run from the Ministry of Magic. It was so personal, the things he shared with Meredith. He'd let her in on secrets even his closest seventh year buddies weren't privy to. And yet he still didn't understand what he was getting himself into or why he was working himself up over something unrealistic. All he knew for sure is that he didn't want it to stop.

Murray shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts. They were approaching the Hog's Head. The badger glanced around the High Street once more to ensure the coast was clear before he pulled open the dingy door and held it for Meredith to step through first. He followed her into the dimly lit bar that seemed to house dust in every nook and cranny he laid his eyes on. "Are you sure your mom won't think to look for you here?" he asked her with a laugh, allowing himself to finally relax a little bit.

It felt like a weight lifted off her when Murray confirmed that he had no other plans - aside from Honeydukes, which was a given.  She knew how he liked his sweets and she did too.  If she could sneak back there without being noticed she would grab some candy herself.  The seventeen-year-old wasn’t sure how long her mother would look.  Surely Heather would give up if she didn’t find Mere in an hour or so.  Turning down the street, her steps were light and cheerful as they headed away from Dervish & Banges.  He doesn't have anywhere to be but with me!  With me!

The happy little mantra continued in her head as the other badger spoke again: You'll be alright if you're in there with me.

Mere's heart made an odd little flip in her chest.  She believed his statement completely.  Even though she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself by this point in her life, the idea of Murray protecting her made her feel warm and fuzzy from her head to her toes.  It was just like being back on the couch in the Common Room, snuggled up under his duvet.  For all of the unexpected, confusing feelings that night had awoken, she couldn't remember ever feeling as safe and comfortable as she had while resting her head on Murray's shoulder. 

What he said next made her hazel eyes widen in surprise.  Was he suggesting an alcoholic drink?!? Meredith was mildly scandalised.  She was still an inexperienced drinker, aside from the odd glass of champagne at galas or the bottle of wine she'd stolen from her parents cellar over the Summer.  The idea of her - the Head Girl! - drinking in the middle of the day was outrageous.  Yet it also appealed strongly to the part of her that craved excitement.  Mere was already being rebellious by hiding from her mother, what would a little drink matter on top of that?  Though she doubted even firewhiskey would be able to completely dull the nerves she felt around Murray.  "Maybe." She said simply with a smile.  They didn't even know if they'd be allowed a drink so there was no point getting too worked up.  "I turned seventeen this past June."

Then Murray glanced down at her and their eyes locked for a moment.  If Meredith were to try and describe what that eye contact felt like she'd be torn between comparing it to being hit by a stunning charm or slow motion spell.  All she knew for sure was that she'd better be careful not to catch his eye during a Quidditch match, otherwise she would be likely to fall off her broom.  Fortunately the young witch had both feet firmly on the ground and was at no risk of falling.  When he looked away Mere also made a diligent effort to study their surroundings but she found herself wishing for some excuse to reach out and hold Murray's hand.  It wouldn’t be right though.  She wasn't the kind of girl to muck around with boys, no matter what Genieveve suggested.  Any relationship with Murray would probably just end up hurting them both.  Mere didn't know exactly why she felt the need to be so responsible.  Part of her mother's lessons must be rubbing off on her after all.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, giving Meredith more time to reflect on her situation.  What Murray had said before had been right, the life her mother expected her to lead would be very boring.  Even so things could've been worse.  “You know, I almost didn’t end up at Hogwarts.  Home-schooling was a very real possibility.” The words came unbidden to her lips, though once there she made no effort to stop them.  It just felt so easy to share with Murray.  Yet if she wasn't careful she'd have no secrets left.  “Can you imagine how I might have turned out if I didn’t have to associate with riff raff like you?”  She nudged him playfully with her elbow and gave a small tinkling giggle. 

It was a joke but also something that had begun to concern the young socialite recently.  She feared already that her upbringing had made her a little too self-involved and self-important.  Mere was ultimately glad that she'd been able to attend Hogwarts, even with all its ups and downs.  It seemed certain that she would have turned out very differently if she'd been homeschooled.  That Meredith never would have given someone like Murray the time of day.  Even as things were, she'd already spent most of the past going on seven years looking down on him as little more than a joker and a simpleton.  She was now coming to regret such superficial judgement of her year mate, who was turning out to be a much better man than she had realised.  It was really too bad that she was only coming to know him now, in their last year of school, when they'd have to part ways all too soon. 

"After the war, my mum moved us to Australia.  She didn't want me to come back to Hogwarts but my aunt helped me return to the UK without her permission." In a soft voice, Mere continued to divulge one of her more private stories.  "And then after the dome, she was so determined that I would not return that she actually locked me in my room.  I had to break out by force and went on the run briefly before my dad found me and sorted the whole thing out." Meredith was little shocked at herself for telling him that.  Such things were not common knowledge but it seemed that certain boundaries and barriers once brought down, stayed down.  It must mean on some level that she trusted him.  Which was a dizzying prospect when it was increasingly difficult for her to trust these days.

It was at this point that she realised she was making her mother sound truly horrible.  As much as she clashed with her mum, Mere didn't hate her and she wasn't a monster.  “She’s not that bad, really.  My mum." It was difficult to find the words to explain their complicated relationship.  "It’s just that she has these very specific ideas of what is best for me.  She’s… protective.”  That seemed like a nice way to say 'controlling'. 

Soon they reached their destination and Mere looked up at the graphic image of a boar's severed head with some consternation.  This didn't seem like the kind of place she'd like to visit but Murray was holding the door open for her like a gentleman so she smiled and nodded to him as she stepped inside.  Immediately freezing in the doorway, she tried not to recoil in disgust.  The interior of the pub was dimly lit and absolutely filthy.  She couldn't see a single surface that wasn't covered in grime and as she took a deep breath she was sure there was even a smell.  It was definitely the most rancid place she had ever seen in her life.  Then Meredith's tense shoulders relaxed as, seeing the humour in the circumstances, she suddenly started laughing.  "Yes," she said breathlessly.  “Yes, I think we’ll be quite safe here.  From my mum at least.”  The young blonde was not sure how safe they’d be from other things - like diseases. 

Summoning around her the confidence that the Head Girl was so well known for, she marched up to the bar.  Unfortunately as there didn't appear to be any menus and she couldn't immediately spot a barman, her courage stalled.  There was a bell on the counter but she was loathe to touch anything in the place if she could avoid it.  Deciding to let Murray take the lead, since he was clearly more experienced with this sort of place, Meredith hung back and looked around.  And immediately regretted looking.  It made her feel a lot better to just focus her attention on nice, charming and clean Murray rather than their surroundings.  “So what was it like for you and your siblings growing up on a farm?” She asked with genuine curiosity, staring intently at his face.

“What day in June?” Murray asked immediately after her mention of having a June birthday. “Mine’s on June 18. I’ve been wanting to legally test out some fire whiskey for awhile now, but there aren’t any wizarding pubs in the town I’m from and for muggles the legal age is eighteen,” he finished with a shrug. He would have no issue wandering into a muggle establishment once he turned eighteen. In fact, he wondered how different their drink options might be. The badger was allowed to have drinks as long as he was at home around his parents. They didn’t prohibit it, instead they’d rather he be in a safe place if consuming alcohol. His mother fancied wine, and Murray learned early on that they did not share the same taste palette for wine. It was gross.

When Meredith finally broke the silence Murray was surprised to learn that the witch could have been home-schooled. “Well that would have been a loss for me if you didn’t come to Hogwarts, there’s no doubt about that,” he said with a wink. Home-schooling to Murray seemed laughable. The thought of never having his friends around or be able to ask other students for help with his homework sounded dreadful. “Yes I can imagine how you would have turned out- likely exactly as your mother intended you to.” The badger let out a laugh. “Just think, you’d never know the joy that being in my presence would bring you! How awful would that be?” he finished, his voice dripping with mock sarcasm before leaning towards Meredith to give her a hearty wink.

Murray was left speechless when Meredith finished explaining about her family’s move to Australia and then her brief time on the run after being locked up. He turned to her a few times and opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He was trying to work it out in his head. Obviously Meredith hadn't missed any school, or the badger would have noticed. So this must all have taken place over the summer. He knew that Meredith’s older brother Hefin played for a Quidditch team in Australia only because his father kept tabs on so many Quidditch players. Murray didn’t know much about Meredith’s past at all, he realized. He assumed that Hefin went to Australia on his own to play Quidditch but obviously there was more to that story. He glanced down at the blonde beside him and was thankful when she started speaking again so he didn’t have to be the one to break the silence.

“Protective sounds like a bit of an understatement,” Murray was finally able to say, a light chuckle escaping his lips. “That’ll be the day when my mum locks me in my bedroom,” he couldn’t help but laugh, and it took him a long time to stop. The whole thing seemed completely ridiculous when he thought about it. “For real though I hope you know how strong you are to have battled through all that and still be the woman you are today. There aren't many people that can say they've had to deal with more than you have.” Murray was being completely honest now. He couldn’t imagine having an upbringing that even slightly resembled Meredith’s. He was thankful for his parents and how normal they seemed, which was saying something considering he was comparing his mother, a hard working housewife that kept the books for the family farm, to Meredith’s rich, overprotective, successful, influential, controlling mother. He made a mental note to remind himself to write to his mother the following morning, realizing it had been a fortnight since they’d exchanged a letter.

Murray stood back graciously as Meredith walked past him into the Hog’s Head and was impressed with her initiative as she made her way immediately towards the bar. Murray followed slowly, watching her blonde hair sway smoothly behind her and trying not to picture running his fingers through it. It looked so soft. He approached the bar, standing beside the Head Girl before leaning over to press the bell which tinkled hollowly as though it had sat in the same spot and not been rung for ten years. Meredith’s question came at the exact same time as the barman came out of the back room, holding a dirty black rag. He began wiping down the bar as he raised a brow at the pair of Hufflepuffs. Murray’s courage faltered for a split-second but he was able to regain his confidence in no time. “The two of us turned seventeen over the summer and we’d like to celebrate with a pint of cider each, please,” he said smoothly, smiling down at Meredith and giving her a look that said plainly, I hope you’re alright with cider.

When the barman turned and wandered back through the way he'd entered, Murray turned to Meredith and let out a grin. "We did it!" he whispered with a wink, glancing around to make sure no one was watching their exchange. There were only three other people in the bar, two that seemed to be in deep conversation with one another over in the corner, and another that was stirring what looked like tar in a glass with their finger. There was absolutely no chance of them being found out in this place. A few moments later, the barman returned and set two large glasses of -wait- "Is that, butterbeer?" Murray asked the old man, who nodded without the slightest trace of emotion on his face. "Come and see me after you graduate for a real drink," was all the barman said before announcing the total price to the badger. Murray burst out laughing, grinning knowingly at the man. He withdrew a few sickles from his pocket to pay for both drinks. "Cheers," he said as he handed the sickles over, the barman turning to head toward the back room again.

He grasped both butterbeer mugs firmly in each hand and turned to Meredith with a shrug. "Better luck next time?" he joked, his eyes leaving hers to search for the best place to sit. He settled on a table near one of the grimy windows that they couldn't see out of anyway, which meant no one on the street outside would be able to see in, either. It was also far enough away from the entrance door that they would be able to assess arriving patrons without immediately being spotted. He wandered over to his chosen table and set the two glasses down on the table across from one another. He turned back to Meredith and pulled out the chair for her that he was standing closest to, smiling at the Head Girl. "Ladies first," he offered.

Murray didn't know why he did it, exactly.

Before Meredith sat down, he quickly leaned down and gave her the softest kiss on the lips. "Sorry, I cut you off earlier," Murray said quietly as he pulled away.

“June 13!”  Meredith exclaimed delightfully, surprised that she shared the same birth month as Murray.  It was such a small thing but sweet to think that they had come into the world around the same time.  As though they were meant for each other.  Smirking she added in a teasing fashion, “Older than you!”.  She allowed her steps to sway for a second so that her shoulder bumped briefly against his – Mere was not brave enough to initiate any further physical contact than that – and then he was looking at her with those lovely blue eyes that made her head spin and it was all she could manage not to sway for real.

He joked about it but right then it truly seemed like it would have been an awful thing not to have known Murray.  The cheeky winks he gave her seemed to be made in jest but she had to wonder whether he realised how close his words came to touching on the truth.  Does he know?  Does he know how he makes me feel?  All of the confusion (and the feeling of having ingested a flock of butterflies) aside, being in Murray’s presence lately made her feel like she was under a permanent Cheering Charm.  Whatever happened, she found herself glad for this chance to have known him.

After Mere finished telling her story, the other badger stayed quiet at first and then started to laugh.  Much to her chagrin he continued to laugh for several minutes.  The Head Girl was not the type to enjoy being laughed at and so was quite offended by his reaction.  She tossed her hair angrily and waited for him finish laughing so that she could give him a piece of her mind.  No one, not even sweet and handsome Murray, could get away laughing at her like that.  Yet the next words out of his mouth completely flipped her anger on its head.  He thinks I’m strong?  The glare she had been building up immediately softened and she gazed at him with something more like gratitude.  Meredith didn’t think anyone had ever thought that she was strong for living through a life of privilege.  She really liked the way he seemed to see her as this strong, capable woman.  He was making it more difficult to ignore how much she liked him.  If she’d had the courage, the young blonde might have kissed him then but instead she looked away shyly and said simply, “Thank you, Murray.”

She felt a flash of annoyance at having her question interrupted but waited patiently whilst Murray attempted to order them some cider.  Mere had never tried cider but with Murray smiling at her she was more than willing to give it a go.  She admired the confident way he asked; however, when the barman walked away without a word the Head Girl was a little dubious about whether the attempt had been successful.  “That seemed too easy.”  She whispered back, mirroring his grin.  Sure enough, when the barman returned he was not bearing two pints of cider but two ordinary mugs of Butterbeer.  Murray’s expression of optimism in contrast with the deadpan face of the barman was too much for Meredith who burst into laughter.  She raised a hand to her mouth in a futile attempt to stifle the giggles. Smiling at his ’better luck next time’ she shook her head at him and followed him across to a grimy table near a grimy window.  Looking around the pub again, she couldn’t help but point out the obvious flaw with his plan.  “If they really served alcohol to students here, do you not think this place would be full of Seventh Years?” 

Murray pulled out a chair for her, like a gentleman.  As she moved towards the offered seat, trying not to think about how dirty it was, Mere barely registered the fact that Murray was leaning in closer – until she felt the gentle brush of his lips against hers.  She was too stunned to react at first, only making an involuntary little gasp as he pulled back after just a second.  My first kiss.  Her hands rose up to his chest, whether to draw him closer or push him away she was not sure.  They just rested there lightly while she tried to process what had just happened.  “You shouldn’t have done that.”  Meredith whispered while shaking her head.  Yet a wide smile stretched across her face.  Day-dreaming about kissing Murray was one thing; actually doing it was something quite different.  It had been so soft and quick, more like a tease of a kiss than a real one, but it had been wonderful. 

She wanted another kiss but knew that she shouldn’t.  Nothing had changed.  A relationship with Murray would still never work.  Sharing kisses with him now would just make things more difficult.  It’s all his stupid fault.  Meredith started to get angry.  It was so unfair that she was falling for a boy that she could never be with and she blamed Murray for the whole situation.  If he hadn’t been so sweet and caring, so charming and kind… then she wouldn’t be facing this predicament right now.  She wouldn’t be feeling so confused and conflicted. 

“You shouldn’t have done that, Murray.”  She repeated more firmly, her hands balling into fists on his chest.  Part of her wanted to hit him, whilst another part wanted to kiss him back.  Then with a sigh she flattened out both palms and shoved him back with force.  “That’s got to be the dumbest apology I’ve ever received.”  Mere snapped, her voice growing higher and louder with agitation.  “What were you thinking?!”  Her hazel eyes flashed around, avoiding meeting his eye.  They settled on her glass of Butterbeer on the table as she considered throwing it at him.  They lingered on the doorway as she contemplated risking an altercation with her mother rather than dealing with this.  Her breath came in short, hitching gasps as she stood there, struggling with her emotions and unsure what to do.

Murray smiled at Meredith’s comment about the place being full of seventh years if they actually served students alcohol and he had to agree with the witch. With another glance around he realized it must be pretty obvious to everyone except Murray that the barman wasn’t serving Hogwarts students. “Guess I never picked up on that before,” he said with a laugh, knowing now that his hope for a glass of cider was always too good to be true. At that moment he promised himself that if he traveled back to Hogsmeade after he graduated, he was making a point to stop in at the Hog’s Head and order a cider.

He heard the witch gasp after he pulled away from the kiss, and his kind eyes regarded her thoughtfully. Was that too soon? Murray was now questioning his actions. He felt her hands on his chest and he inwardly drew a small breath. Meredith’s touch felt different. It made the goosebumps rise on his forearms. In a good way. When he heard her whisper and saw the smile on her face at the same time, he let out a light sigh of relief. Thank goodness she’s not mad. Murray honestly didn’t know how the Head Girl would react. He’d gone over this moment what felt like a million times in his head, and didn’t picture it happening beside a filthy table in the Hog’s Head. But then, where better to be away from prying eyes. Kissing Meredith felt better than he thought it would, if that was even possible.

He stared at her a moment and watched her expression of happiness slowly turn to one of- confusion? Anger? The badger had no idea. He settled on very angry when eventually he felt the pressure of her hands push against his chest. She was evidently stronger than he’d given her credit for as he rocked back, not expecting her to use such force. He forced himself to straighten up to face the witch again immediately, taken aback and completely second guessing himself. Murray stood there speechless for a few moments before he managed to fully regain his composure. He could see her looking around the pub for what he could only imagine was an escape route.

“Hang on, hang on,” he started quickly, in a tone that was quiet yet straight to the point. “I’m sorry, actually I’m really sorry,” Murray said, lifting up his hands in a gesture that said he meant no harm. He’d obviously misjudged Meredith’s feelings towards him. Over the past few weeks he’d thought about her more often than he’d like to admit to himself, and went over and over any possible relationship they might have in his mind. Murray wasn’t an idiot. He knew what flirting looked like and there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that the witch had been flirting with him. Well, unless she called it something else. But how could he have so horribly misjudged her feelings? Murray could usually read people better than this. He was now utterly confused and a little bit hurt, though he’d never let her know that. He wondered if continuing to pursue the Howell was a mistake since he was first rejected.

He hoped knew what he was doing. He had a friendship to save, after all. Friendship with Meredith was good enough for him, if that was all she wanted.

The badger walked around the table from where Meredith was standing and gently pulled out the chair on the opposite side, taking a seat immediately. “Please don’t make me drink both butterbeers,” Murray managed a small smile, his eyes staring hopefully up at Meredith. “I promise it won’t happen again,” he decided was the right thing to say. “I shouldn’t have- I mean- I should have let you-“ Murray was stumbling on his words, something extremely out of character for the badger. He reached up and ran a hand through his hair, leaning to rest his right elbow on the table as he glanced back up at the witch.

He let out a long sigh. “Please sit down,” emotionally stressing the first word, he looked up at Meredith with an apologetic look plastered over his entire face.

It would’ve been better for both of them if she walked away right then.  She almost did.  Yet Meredith was not the type to run away from her problems, even the ones that scared her.  Taking a few deep breaths, she forced her body to be still and calm.  As she listened to Murray’s frantic apologies she felt the anger draining out of her to be replaced instead with regret.  I’m sorry Murray.  I’m so sorry.  Mere knew deep down that he never would have meant to cause her any upset.  He was just too good and kind.  The kiss he had given her had been generous and sweet – just like him – and she was the one who was ruining it.

She wished that she could tell him that she’d loved the kiss, that she wanted more.  Unfortunately that would risk taking them down a path that could end in heartbreak for them both.  When he promised that it would never happen again she sniffed and turned her head away, fighting back tears.  Clearly he didn’t understand!  It wasn’t that she didn’t want to kiss him, it was just…  unadvisable.  It was pointless.  And stupid.  Oh Merlin, how she just wished she could be stupid!  Meredith stayed silent, not trusting herself to talk.

He looked so desperately apologetic it almost broke her resolve.  It hurt her to see him feeling so shamed and she wanted to go to him, comfort him.  Meredith had been thoughtless in her reaction.  She'd been selfish.  She truly had not meant to make him feel bad.  “It’s ok.”  She said finally, gently.  Acquiescing to his request, she sat down across from him.  One hand reached out but stopped shy of touching his arm.  Her fingers dropped limply to the table between them.  “Just… It’d be smarter for you to find someone else to snog.”  Smarter.  Not better.  Meredith wasn’t sure what she was doing but the words just kept spilling out of her mouth.  “There are plenty of pretty girls in our year.”  Her voice was excessively casual and she looked up at him enquiringly, one eyebrow raised.   She didn’t really want to know if he fancied anyone else – obviously she was the prettiest girl in the school – but her brain had her stuck on this course.  “Surely, you can find someone else to- to-“  Meredith’s voice faltered, the idea of Murray snuggled up with some other girl causing her too much misery.

She took a large swig from her glass of butterbeer, too preoccupied to be repulsed by its dirty state.  Taking a deep breath, she continued as non-chalantly as she could manage in her shaky, emotional state.  A fixed smile was frozen on her face.  "I'm sure you could find yourself a nice, common girlfriend if you wanted."  Mere tried not ruminate about what his lips had felt like and how imaging him kissing someone else filled her with a hot, sick twisting in her stomach.  It was frustrating that this boy, this man, had gotten under her skin so badly.  She was determined at least to keep this one secret from him.  If he wasn't going to act with any sense then she'd have to for both of them.  He couldn't know how she truly felt or she'd come unwound.  Long lashes fluttered quickly as she blinked against the tears that threatened to come.  "I bet you've had loads of girlfriends and kissed many girls."  The young blonde rambled on, trying to convince her companion that she didn't care (she did) and him kissing her had meant nothing (it meant a lot). 

"So don't waste your time trying to make something happen here that will never happen."  She nodded firmly, as though that settled the matter.   Mere tried to swallow around the large lump that had formed in her throat and then took another sip of butterbeer.  This is for the best.  She reminded herself while desperately wishing things could be different.   

Murray sighed in relief when Meredith sat down across from him. He had more time to make this right. He thought for a second she was actually going to reach across the table and hold his hand, but he was mistaken. He was utterly confused inside. On one hand, he should have known better. He should have known that all of the excitement of the past few weeks was too good to be true. But on the other hand, he'd hoped, no- he wanted to believe that something romantic could happen between the two seventh years. Meredith Howell wasn't like all of the other girls at Hogwarts. Smarter to snog someone else? Maybe. But it wouldn't be the same, not now that Murray had developed feelings. Feelings that he should have suppressed but didn't want to.

"There are plenty of pretty girls in our year," he repeated her statement in an I guess you're right sort of tone, giving a bit of a shrug and reaching to grab his glass of butterbeer and take a long swig. Murray heard her voice falter again and looked up, locking his light blue eyes with her hazel ones. He watched her carefully as she took a drink out of her own glass, relaxing a little more and hoping that meant she wouldn't get up and leave anytime soon. Murray was reminded of how comfortable Meredith seemed that evening in the common room, after he'd managed to cheer her up of course. She didn't seem comfortable right now, and he needed to change that. As long as he could keep her talking, he could hopefully steer the conversation back to a friendly one and take her mind off of his screw up.

He laughed aloud, managing a true smile on his face. "Where's the fun in a common girlfriend?" he asked with a grin, accentuating the same word the Head Girl had, but he let her continue without interrupting again.

"Duly noted," was Murray's simple response to her request to stop wasting his time. "But I'll have you know, I haven't had loads of girlfriends or kissed many girls," he advised her, not wanting her to get the wrong idea of him. Generally, the badger let people think whatever they wanted. He didn't care whether they thought he was a wholesome kind of guy or an awful waste of skin. But Meredith's opinion mattered to Murray, more than he allowed himself to believe until now. "I've had two girlfriends and you're the third girl I've kissed, aside from my mom of course. Plus, I'm sure you managed to lock down any boy you wanted in the past few years without your mother noticing?" Murray offered with a light chuckle. "Who wouldn't want to kiss you?" The words were out of his mouth before he had time to give them a second thought, but he didn't regret it. He knew what he wanted even if he wasn't allowed to have it.

He needed to lighten the tone. And change the conversation. It wasn't fair to keep pushing Meredith on a topic she obviously didn't want anything to do with.

"Growing up on a farm was awesome!" he said, pulling them back to their earlier conversation out of absolute nowhere. He forced himself to move all romantic thoughts of Meredith out of his mind for the moment. He knew he would come back to them later, he always did. But for now, in the dingy Hog's Head at a dirty table drinking butterbeer from filthy glasses- he tried hard not to let those thoughts creep back in. "My sisters hated it of course, they're both living in London now which suits them a lot better I think. Fraser and I helped out a lot on the farm, tending to the animals and helping dad in the fields. But I think my favourite part about growing up was the fresh food we cooked with for dinner every night," he paused to think about. "The meals at Hogwarts are good, of course, but there's nothing like a fresh, home-cooked meal whipped up by my mother with ingredients we were able to grow ourselves. Maybe it's all in my head but I think it tastes way better," Murray finished lamely with a broad smile, shrugging his shoulders and almost tossing Meredith a wink before he caught himself.

Could Should he still flirt with the Head Girl? He decided to play it by ear for now.

"How was your childhood with your castles and moats and jewels and protective mother?" he said jokingly, finally starting to feel like himself again.

 

She was only his third.  That wasn't so bad, she guessed, not really knowing what was normal for a boy his age.  At least it seemed he wasn't excessively casual about locking lips with people.  She was also relieved that he didn't sound very enthusiastic about her 'other girls' suggestion.  Was it possible that kissing her could have meant something to him?  Meredith expected every boy in school to love her - she was beautiful, talented and charming after all.  Certainly Murray had made his interest in her clear before but could he possibly have deeper feelings than she had expected?  Could he actually genuinely care about her for her and not just her looks and status?  Such thoughts were not helpful so she tried to push them away.

"I... ummm." Meredith blushed and fidgeted as he confidently declared, 'who wouldn't want to kiss you?'.  It wasn't exactly public knowledge but the Head Girl had never had a boyfriend nor been kissed - until now.  You're the first.  She almost blurted out.  I want you.  It seemed her compulsion to tell him the truth.  Yet she held silent, feeling distinctly uncomfortable.  On this subject she couldn't allow herself to respond naturally and it pained her.  She already missed the easy and comfortable way they had been able to talk before.  Was that lost now?  Meredith miserably drank some more of her butterbeer and privately began to grieve the end of their unusual friendship. 

Then as Murray started talking again, she felt her spirits lifting.  The smile on her face grew and grew as she listened to him enthusiastically describe his childhood on the farm.  She was suddenly struck by a desire to visit his home to see it for herself and maybe taste a meal made from home-grown food.  The Howell family always enjoyed the best of fare and yet Murray made his home-cooked meals sound better.  "I doubt that's in your head."  Mere commented cheerfully, beaming across the table at her companion.  She started to relax again and no longer felt so overwhelmed.  "It sounds really good...  I wish I could try it."  Her voice was slightly wistful, knowing that such a thing would be very unlikely to ever happen, for the same reason she couldn't share her true feelings with him.

Meredith couldn't help but laugh at the way he phrased his next question.  "Castles, moats and jewels?  Is that how you think I live?"  She raised an eyebrow playfully.  "Well, we've never had a moat.  Unless... do fountains count?"  Unable to help herself she threw him a wink.  Then she paused for a moment, reflecting on her childhood.  "It was good."  She said simply with a small smile.  Most of the difficulties with her mother hadn't arisen until Meredith was older.  "I mean...  I had everything I ever wanted.  All I ever had to do was snap my fingers and someone would get it for me - food, clothes, toys..."  It was a little weird to think about how not weird some of the luxuries she'd grown up with were.  Just depended what one was used to she guessed.  "It's only now that I'm finding the limitations on what I can have.  That there are some things money can't buy..."  She met his eye for a moment and then continued with a shrug.  "To be honest, I've always had more interest in gardens than jewels.  I keep my real treasures in my greenhouses.  I've been cultivating one of the greatest ranges of rare flora on the continent."  Mere stopped and chuckled lightly.  "Sorry, that must sound really conceited."

"We didn't have farm chores or well any chores I suppose... but we kept ourselves busy, me and my brother, Hefin.  Studying.  Sports.  Flying of course.  Sometimes I liked to play pretend that I was a broommaker and would convince poor Hef to try out my designs."  She smiled, reminiscing.  "That didn't always go well."  Meredith laughed and shook her head.  Turning her attention back to Murray, she asked softly, "Were you close with your brother?  I mean before..."  She hesitated, running a finger around the rim of her butterbeer glass.  Was now really the time to ask about Fraser?  "I don't know exactly.  You mentioned your brother before...  That he's some kind of fugitive."  Lifting her hazel eyes up from their intense study of the patterns of dirt on the table, she looked searching into Murray's blue ones.  "May I ask what happened?"

Murray caught on to Meredith's blush and watched her fidget slightly in her seat. Is she okay? he felt himself thinking. He regarded her take a sip of butterbeer and he mimicked her, downing about one quarter of the glass in a single gulp. It tasted good. The alcohol level wasn't as high as he hoped for, but it was still delicious. Murray inwardly wondered whether actual alcohol in the presence of the Head Girl might change their relationship dynamic, but had to brush that thought away as soon as it cropped up. She didn't say anything further on the topic, which confirmed his decision to change the subject.

Murray caught himself before he opened his mouth. He was about to ask Meredith if she had any major plans for the Christmas holidays and if she wanted to come to the farm for a meal. Murray was sure his mother would absolutely adore the extra company. She'd love any excuse to break out the finer china (which Murray knew was likely not even half the grade that Meredith was used to eating from). He held his tongue, doubting that after this awkward situation the Head Girl would apparate to Banff for an evening. Even though he knew she'd enjoy herself. If given a proper chance, Murray would make sure Meredith enjoyed herself.

Meredith's laughter was like a relief drug to the badger. He let himself relax even further knowing she found humour in his joke about her living arrangements. She actually winked at him after her mention of fountains. He reflected on the possibility of having a childhood like Meredith's, imagining having everything he'd ever wanted. Truth be told, Murray was a simple man. He didn't really want for anything more than what he was already blessed with. As long as his family and friends were happy and healthy- what more could he ask for. There are some things money can't buy. Murray agreed completely.

"Your greenhouses sound beautiful," Murray spoke softly, smiling over at Meredith. As much as he tried, he couldn't picture the perfectly manicured witch kneeling down in a bed of dirt pruning flowers. He almost laughed aloud at the image in his head. He tried to imagine what types of flora she would be raising. The badger shrugged. "Conceited or not, you didn't have a say in your childhood. And the fact that you didn't turn out like the few other spoiled rich kids I've met speaks wonders," Murray winked. The badger laughed as he raised his glass of butterbeer to his lips. "What happened? Did your broomstick creation fall helplessly out of the sky? Or was it just pink, and that's why it didn't go well for your brother?" Murray joked with a grin.

When the topic was brought back around to him again, he was surprised that the Head Girl brought up Fraser. Murray had only mentioned it once in the common room that night, sort of off-handedly, and he was impressed she remembered, even if it was hard for him to talk about. He watched her run her finger along the rim of her glass as he decided how to answer. The truth won out, as it often did with Murray. "We were close when we were younger, I mean as close as two brothers could be that're nearly eleven years apart," he laughed before continuing, hoping to lessen his apprehension surrounding talk of Fraser. "We helped out a lot on the farm together, especially in the summers. Fraser was at Hogwarts when I was really young, and then after he left school he moved to London right away and stayed with my oldest sister Greer when he wasn't away for work. So I guess we weren't as close as we could have been." Or as close as I obviously thought we were, Murray finished inwardly.

He took a swig of his butterbeer and eyed Meredith, setting his glass back down on the table and smirking at her, the corners of his mouth lifting in a look that read plainly, if you really want to know. "After the war, Fraser decided that not all of the views You-Know-Who and his followers had about muggles were all bad," he began, sighing lightly but continuing. "And he had a great job, he had been working at Gringotts since after he left Hogwarts... So there was really no reason for him to do the things he did." This was a bit of a prelude, and it was more for Murray's sake than Meredith's. Murray was still struggling with the decisions his brother had made. He really thought he knew Fraser, but apparently he did not. "He was caught stealing from muggle shops a few times, mostly by the muggle policemen. He would always escape their capture, obviously. Fraser would even sell off the items he stole at other muggle shops. When the aurors from the Ministry became involved it was a different story. I don't even know where he is now?" Murray said, as more of a question than a statement.

"Mum thinks he has a drug problem," the badger decided to add. It was hard for Murray to imagine that Fraser could be involved with things like that. He could remember Fraser coming home to the farm for family meals and having a few glasses of firewhiskey, but nothing overboard. "It's tough because the entire thing is foreign to me... I still struggle to believe that Fraser really feels so negatively about muggles. We weren't raised like that, so it came out of nowhere," Murray finished lamely, offering Meredith a shrug. "Has anyone in your family sort of- went bad?" he wasn't wording it well, but he knew Meredith would understand the question. It was hard for him to talk about his brother and the situation that his family was put in because of Fraser's actions. They didn't speak of it at the farm if they could help it, otherwise his mother was quick to break down.

"You don't think I'm spoiled?  Not even a little bit?" Meredith joked and laughed lightly, shaking her head at the table.  She was used to being complimented, in fact she expected it, but the way Murray spoke to her favour felt different, more genuine.  There were so few people who saw her for who she was - her brother maybe, though even he was looking through the lense of an older brother.  Around Murray she didn't feel pressured to be perfect because he seemed to see the best in her without her needing to work at it.  That was a really nice feeling.  The only problem was that she knew she couldn't keep it. 

Mere wanted to show him the greenhouses, she wanted to show him her homes - both the mansion in Wales and the much larger estate in Australia.  She'd love to take him on a tour of her life, to share all of her favourite places and people with him.  They could run through the vaulted halls hand-in-hand and lose themselves in one of the many rooms or the depths of the gardens.  But that can never happen.

But what if it could?  What if she could ignore her mum's disapproval and the inevitable gossip in the media...  Hefin might even be sympathetic? He was her protective older brother but when everyone else was against her, she always felt like he could count on him to have her back.  If she begged daddy, he'd probably come around too.  It was the society she was part of that was the main problem - the elite, the rich and influential, the pureblooded.  They'd never accept Murray, not with his background.  She could imagine the scandalised looks and nasty whispers, if she showed up to an event with him on her arm.  They would look down on him, thumb their noses and talk behind his back.  They'd laugh at him and turn him into a joke.  Poor sweet Murray from his warm and cozy farmhouse, from his simple and loving family, he'd never faced anything like that before.  He was too goodhearted to be drawn into that pit of vipers.  Maybe she could survive it, but could he?

Her day dreams had never had such sharp and cruel edges before.  Thinking about these what-ifs only served to hurt her. 

Meredith shook her head to clear it and concentrated on his next query.  The broomsticks.  "There's nothing wrong with pink!"  She stuck out her tongue at him; a very unladylike gesture she'd grown out of years ago.  Mere was a little shocked at herself but unable to stop it - and if she was honest with herself, she liked it.  All of the little rules of etiquette and decorum that normally kept her to tightly bound seemed to slip in Murray's presence.  "But no, they didn't always fly very well.  They could be quite uncontrollable, even for someone with Hefin's reflexes.  There were... accidents.  Hef always bounced back though."  She thought of her brother fondly.  He'd always supported her, no matter what.  Could she go to him for advice about this?

Murray seemed to speak casually about his own brother but she felt that there was real pain behind his story.  She couldn't imagine how much it would hurt her if Hefin suddenly turned out to be a very different person than she thought and then disappeared from her life without an explanation.  It must be very difficult for Murray, not knowing why his brother did what he did nor where he was now.  She didn't know what to say in response.  Words seemed insufficient to express her sympathy.  "Oh Murray.  I'm sorry."  She finally spoke softly, but she also reached out - all of the way this time -  and gave his hand a light squeeze before drawing back quickly.

"Gone bad?"  Meredith thought about the question.  She wasn't aware of any Howell or Walker ever having done anything criminal but she also doubted it would be common knowledge if they had.  Families like hers had a way of burrying such things.  "I don't think so.  Not that they would tell me."  It didn't surprise her that Murray and his family felt kindly towards Muggles.  He didn't seem capable of discrimination or intolerance.  Meredith didn't believe her family possessed any radical opinions on Muggles but she'd never really asked.  Sure, she'd heard the word 'Mud-blood' used at home before but that didn't really mean anything.  "My family has always been firmly centred in the magical world..."  She started by way of an explanation.  "I'd say they're... indifferent about non-magical folk."  That seemed the truest way to put it.  There was no malice towards Muggles but they simply didn't matter. 

However, there were plenty of people in their social circles that clearly felt very poorly towards Muggles.  She'd heard the tones of disdain and disgust towards non-magical folk and even magical folk of lesser bloodlines.  "But the sort of people I've spent my life around, a lot of them are quite... prejudiced."  Meredith was unsure why she kept talking, perhaps because it had been on her mind.  "I mean...  You're not a Muggleborn, but they probably still wouldn't think very much of you nor treat you very nicely."  That sounded really horrible.  She hoped he understood she was just stating facts and it was no indication of her own opinion.  Personally Meredith had no issue with Muggles, though she'd never really interacted with them.  She'd met Muggleborns in school and had not been able to discern any real difference between them and Half-bloods or Purebloods for that matter.  "I think you're great."  She clarified, just so there was no misunderstanding. 

"And it doesn't bother me what your brother may have done."  Mere added reassuringly.  "We are not responsible for the opinions or actions of our families."  The comment applied to her as much as it did Murray.  After a pause she spoke again softly, "Thank you."  She smiled gratefully across the table at him, hoping he understood her appreciation for his company and his honesty.  "For everything."  Even the kiss.  She had liked it, even if she couldn't say so, even though she was determined to view it as a mistake.   The seventeen-year-old was still a little shaken and upset about it in the end.  It was a relief that they could still talk, still be friends, but she would need time and distance to effectively smother and suppress all of the confusing and conflicting feelings swirling inside her.  Taking one last gulp to finish off her butterbeer, she placed the glass down on the table and looked up at Murray.  The Headgirl tried to keep her gaze and voice steady as she spoke.  "Sorry, I think I might just go back to school." And throw myself onto my bed and cry.