[MP] like giving caviar to an elephant [Eris]

When the Auror John Quigley has disappeared into thin air back in July, Joanna, along with many others in the Department, had been slow to react. He was not the most... professional of staff and many had just assumed that his disappearance was actually just him portkeying off to America to join in the 4th of July celebrations. And by join in they meant get horrifically drunk and party far too hard. This meant that for a week the log simply said “absent” rather than “missing” and it wasn’t until his girlfriend, of similar flighty nature, contacted them that anyone bothered to actually take a look at what was going on.

Despite his many personality shortcomings and lack of job competence, John Quigley was still Ministry staff and so a big fuss had to be made with no stone left unturned. The priority would always be nearest and dearest after all. Joanna had quickly been tasked with dispensing the hit squad for multiple raids, incase the man had been taken by foes. Three months later they were still being dispensed following tip offs from the Investigations Office. So far, absolutely none of these missions had been in any way useful. They were essentially on a wild goose chase. Joanna still wasn’t entirely convinced it was foul play, instead considering it more likely that he had got bored of both his girlfriend and the UK, and was probably living it up abroad.

She half expected reports of his partying to come back with the staff who were at Oktoberfest. It was certainly the kind of event that he would be at with bells on. Full of unlimited booze and late night revelry. Basically his cup of tea. However, until her theory was confirmed they were stuck using limited resources to hunt for him on the British Isles. Joanna swore the shopkeepers on Knockturn Alley were now laughing at them each time his name was brought up in questioning. Don’t know where your own staff are! Useless! They must think. Trying to think of a silver lining - not that there was many - the hunt did serve as fantastic low risk practical experience for the newbies. They got to hone in their observation and stealth skills and she got the same amount of information as she would have with a well experienced team. I.e. nothing.

But, with the limited staffing she had this week, the comfortable routine that had developed of raids every three days was just not be possible with the other commitments. And so the week before, she and Eris had agreed that a new strategy needed to be employed. The current one just wasn’t efficient. Or worthwhile at the end of the day. So, instead they had hung back, reaching out to informants for any whispers of John Quigley’s whereabouts. If he had been taken by enemies of the Ministry then they were likely to brag. As expected though, nothing. Joanna certainly felt sympathy for Eris, having to run an investigation with no leads and, Joanna suspected, feeling it was a large waste of time. They had not discussed that it was a massive waste of time and resources because both witches were professional, and, much as Joanna respected Eris as a competent auror, her surname meant that she really wasn’t willing to share any private feelings on anything. They kept strictly professional.

Upon arriving at the Ministry fresh out of Hogwarts, Joanna had been dubious of the older witch. Surely the sister of a Death Eater was not the type of person they wanted working in law enforcement. Surely her family ties made her completely untrustworthy and likely to impede investigations and arrests to save her childhood friends and acquaintances? Joanna had slowly come round that that wasn’t the case for Eris. Sure, she was no nonsense and brisk, and they were qualities that some people found intimidating, but Joanna admired them. After all, she had very little patience for some of the Department either. Efficiency was important, not that some people seemed to recognise that. She would never be friends with the other witch. They simply did not run in the same social circles or have anything in common outwith work, but Joanna could work with her without having to bite her tongue or cross her fingers.

So, it was Tuesday afternoon as Joanna made her way to Eris’ office. She would have preferred to meet in one of the conference rooms as they usually did but there had been a muck up with bookings. A conference room was neutral grounds. Neither of them held the upper hand. An office meant that one of them did. And Joanna did not like not having the upper hand. She was not particularly looking forward to the next hour of her life, especially given that, as usual, she had nothing to report. Unless Eris and her team had unearthed new information - a doing that would shock Joanna more than it being proven that John Quigley had been kidnapped - then they would simply be going over information that had been thoroughly chewed already and pretending to think of areas they had missed.

Maybe the answer was in his case files? Maybe he had gambling debts? Maybe he’d gotten hold of a vanishing cabinet? Their collective ideas had certainly gotten less realistic as the months had gone on. But, requests to press hold on the whole thing unless new facts surfaced had been denied.

Eris’ nervous looking assistant nodded to her as she passed. She paid him no mind. Joanna had a time arranged. She wasn’t waiting for permission to enter like some sort of visitor. Knocking on the doorframe to get Eris’ attention, Joanna entered, and smiled wryly at the woman behind the desk. “Hope you are well,” she said politely as she took a seat. “Shall we begin?” She was happy to let Eris start this discussion. Joanna currently was not feeling imaginative enough to come up with a new direction.

Maybe he was the Dark Widow?

@Eris Rosier

Eris glanced up at the knock, half expecting to see Lewis standing there – she was equally disappointed by the person who was in her doorway. “Come in.” She gestured at the chair across from her, though she felt Joanna would sit with or without invitation. “Positively thriving,” she answered flatly, not bothering to return the sentiment. Joanna Hennings was not Eris’ favourite person, but she was also far from her least favourite at the Ministry. There were much worse people she could have to work with on a regular basis. At least Joanna was professional, if nothing else. Eris finished signing the paperwork she had been checking before the Hitwitch had arrived, then scooped the parchment into a dark green folder and slid it to the left side of her desk.

The Auror sighed. “Quigley,” she announced, belatedly recalling what this meeting was about. She pinched the bridge of her nose – part act, part genuine agitation – as she waved her wand blindly at the door to close it and drop the blinds for privacy. It did seem unusual to be so callous about a missing colleague, but Joanna had been found to be equally uncaring about the man’s whereabouts as this whole fiasco dragged on and so Eris felt she was safe displaying such emotions in the confidence of her peer. She needed to get people on-side, and nobody would suspect Hennings of being anything but strait-laced – so if Eris could win some points with Joanna, she was bloody well going to do so.

“I’m wondering how much longer we can continue to pretend he’s not dead,” she said bluntly, glancing up at an empty frame on the wall; it was occasionally occupied by Torquil Travers, who had once been the owner of this particular office, but he was obviously elsewhere at present. He was poor company most of the time but he did seem to appreciate some of Eris’ methods and her unceremonious manner. “I suppose there is a small chance he’s alive, but it’s been what… almost four months?”

“Silverman wants us to keep looking, regardless,” she said finally, turning her attention back to Joanna. “It has been… suggested that the timing of this is all rather… convenient, in hindsight.” An Auror going missing right before a convicted Death Eater was freed did look bad, really. It was just a shame that they were all barking up the wrong tree. Gaius didn’t even know who this Quigley fellow was, much less care if he was alive or dead. “I assume you have been keeping up with the news.” Eris reached for an assortment of clippings from recent editions of the Prophet and flung it across the desk, the forefront headline announcing Gaius Purcell’s release. “Before you ask, no, I don’t know what possessed Kingsley to release him. Nobody does.” The disdain on her handsome features was sincere – not because Gaius was free, but because she did not know why.

Eris sat up straighter, uncrossing her legs beneatht the desk and pulling out a ruby-coloured folder from the stack to her right. “We went through what Quigley was working on before he disappeared – again – just to see if there was anything we missed the first time,” or rather, that Eris had made disappear. “He was looking into anti-corruption—” she lowered her tone and looked at Joanna pointedly, “I don’t have to tell you that this is obviously classified.” She leafed through the documents and spread them out on the desk. “There is a chance that this was an inside job, designed to silence him before he could find anything – or perhaps he had already found it.” He had, and Eris had made sure that scrap of evidence would never see the light of day. In its place, she had planted something new, something that would point at someone else in the Department. Someone else that needed to be gone and who had been just shifty enough to warrant suspicion.

"We need as small a team as possible on this, just in case there are others we don't know about." She paused, meeting the other woman's gaze with her own. "I know we have our differences, Joanna, but I'm asking you because I trust you. I can't act on this without your help."

As someone who was basically convinced that Quigley was simply skiving rather than in any serious trouble, Joanna was slightly surprised by Eris’ words. She thought it was more likely that Quigley was drunk in a ditch somewhere than dead in a ditch. Had it really been four months? Merlin, maybe he was dead, although who would want to murder him? Okay, that was the wrong question. Many people wanted to murder the incompetent ex-auror, the better question was who would actually murder him. Sure, he was an annoyance. But to actually kill him…

The timing? What timing? Oh…

The smarmy ass face of Gaius Purcell stared up at her from the newspaper Eris had flung across the desk. “I wasn’t going to ask.” Joanna replied tartly, distractedly glaring daggers at the 2D black and white face of the sociopathic serial killer. Why would she ask Eris Rosier what went on inside Kingsley Shacklebolt’s head? She knew better than that. If she wasn’t planning on asking Jocasta then she certainly wasn’t planning on asking Eris. Honestly, it was like putting a red flag in front of a bull. All thoughts of Quigley and the investigation had fled from her head as she stared down at the headline. Released from jail! The absolute bastard.

The only place Gaius Purcell should ever have been released from was the land of the living. And only in the most painful, horrific way where he fully experienced the suffering and pain he had inflicted on others. He should have been left to slowly rot to death in Azkaban, food and sanitation withheld until he was a shell of his former self. She could almost imagine the arrogant shithead slowly losing his grip on his appearance, his grip on his sanity, his grip on his former privileged position in life. It would be a delight to watch. If she could reach into the paper and somehow pull the man through his picture then she would. Kingsley was clearly insane. Gaius Purcell needed to be recaptured and locked up again. Far away from all his rich peers who had somehow also escaped justice. Well, unless they all were locked up too… Then they could all share a cell for all Joanna cared.

Let them rot together.

The vehemence of her thoughts took a second to shake as the newspaper was replaced by Quigley’s case files. Anti-corruption, an inside job. What?!? Why was she just finding this out. And, seriously, how in Merlin’s name was Quigley of all people working in anti-corruption. If she’d had to throw stones she would have guessed that he was more likely to be the corrupt one. He certainly took advantage of the Ministry’s attendance policy whenever he could. How many times had he taken “sick days”? But, Joanna was only a Hit Witch. She didn’t get a say in auror placements, no matter how ludicrous they seemed. And Eris was Head of Investigations, Quigley was surely in anti-corruption for a reason.

“Obviously,” she replied, slightly put out that Eris felt the need to clarify that Joanna would keep things classified. It wasn’t her first day. She was not a child that needed to be minded. She was the blinking Lead Hit Witch, most of her cases had a degree of secrecy to them and she followed the rule book with each one. But she was sure Eris was just being cautious. After all, it there was any chance this was an inside job then it was absolutely vital that they proceed with extreme caution.

“You really think it’s possible that he found something?” She asked for clarification as she fingered through a few files. Nothing glaring jumped out at her as being particularly inflammatory. Gambling debts, unsavoury family members, that sort of thing. It would certainly be interesting to see her own file… what had the Department dug up on her? Actually, what had the Department dug up on Eris?

Joanna nodded succinctly along with Eris. “We need to keep the official word then that we still think he’s alive. Off drinking on an island somewhere.” It certainly would be easy, she was sure the whole of MLE thought that was where Quigley was. “Of course I will help.” Personal differences aside, this was professional. “What do you want to do?”

Eris watched Joanna’s face with interest; she was well aware that the woman across from her held no love for Gaius Purcell, or any Death Eater, but it always gave Eris a strange thrill to observe it in the flesh, to know how horrified they would be to find out she was one of them. Oh, she couldn’t wait for the day when she no longer had to hide. It couldn’t be far now, now that he was out. She was waiting for his call, and she would go running to him.

And Joanna really loathed Gaius. Eris didn’t even have to try to get an overwhelming reek of hatred pouring off of the other woman in waves. The Death Eater’s expression hardened slightly.

“I don’t know if he was officially working for the corruption team –” she was almost one hundred per cent certain “— but he was obviously looking into it. Merlin only knows why he thought he was capable.” She sighed, playing up her supposed lack of interest. Unfortunately for Quigley, he’d been rather tenacious in his determination to rid the department of unsavoury types, and that had led to his premature demise. The sick days, the raucous behaviour at staff parties – it had all been part of his cover. Easier to turn a blind eye to a blithering idiot than to someone who appeared inherently accomplished. Eris had been foolish enough to believe him and that had only served to make his death more painful.

“I knew I could count on you,” Eris didn’t smile, but she didn’t scowl either so that was a feat in itself. She couldn’t completely betray the person she’d been for nearly twenty years in the office or that would raise suspicion.

“That’s the only explanation.” She sat back in her chair. “Why else would he be of interest?” This was playing it dangerously close to the truth, she knew, but it was easier to work with a lie that ran parallel to it rather than going off in a completely different direction. For starters, whomever else was working with Quigley would be wondering why Eris, Head of Investigations, was leading them on a wild goose chase with no substantial evidence to cause them to do so.

“Good idea.” Rare praise, another step towards ingratiating Joanna to her. “I’m not sure,” she said in a ponderous tone, “Acting like he’s still alive, or that we think he is, will save the rest of the Department from acting like idiots and losing their heads,” memories of the war, people going missing and all that, “but the culprit knows he’s gone, and why. Whether they did it themselves or not, that’s another matter.” She sighed. “We could bait them, but how?” She tapped her finger on the arm of her chair. “Unless we call their bluff, announce that he’d left some important documents that we’re now going to be launching a full investigation? What do you think?”