words like wishes always find a home (Dermod, Olivander)

In all the years that she’d been alive, Gabriella had never liked side along apparition. But dermod at least did not chastise her, or insinuate that she didn’t trust in his abilities. Slowly, she opened her eyes and released her death grip on his coat, taking a steadying breath to step back from him. Even though she’d never registered as such, she’d been able to apparate short distances herself, but since having lost her wand, she really didn’t have much choice. And she was certain she did not want to attempt it having not done so in four years, until she got some more practice. Of course, that's why they were standing in Knockturn Alley, just outside their favorite bookstore. Not for books, not this time, but to make their way to Ollivander's to acquire the witch a new wand.

Gabriella checked her shoes, making sure her feet and fingers were still there, disguising the action as smoothing her heavy woolen skirt, a gray plaid with hints of blues and orange woven into it. For the most part, Dermod had dropped off measurements and orders for her, owls bringing in fabric swatches from the seamstress her husband had found for her. But even for her own clothing, Gabriella had not even left the house. But now, she was actually doing it. And if the visit to Ollivanders went well, Perhaps Dermod could take her to the dress shop he’d been dropping off orders for her clothing to. Another day, of course. The chances of her wanting to go anywhere else after this were slim.

Eyeing the book store with a half longing eye as she pulled her cloak tighter around herself, gabriella smiled at dermod, before giving a little shake of the head. “Perhaps when we’re done… if there’s time and I’m not too tired we could stop in. get a new book.” of course gabriella was saying that more for her benefit then his. In a way, the tiny woman was bribing herself to actually go through with it, to make her way into the crowds of people and to Ollivander’s. Of course, it was after the school year had begun, and well into it, so it would not be anywhere near as crowded as it got during the summer. “Maybe something we’d both enjoy.” she murmured, after a bit of a pause, before stepping close to him once more. “I… I think I’m ready.” she swallowed, wrapping her arm around his. Best to get this over with before she managed to talk herself out of it.

It was almost the end of October and there was a definite bite in the air now. It would be warmer in London, but Dermod was wearing one of his heavier cloaks, this one coal black and with enough spare fabric that he could have wrapped it entirely around Gabriella if that was what it would have taken to help her feel comfortable with apparating. But she trusted him, as she always did, though he could feel her tremble as they left the castle. He said nothing, knowing her fears were less to do with the apparation and more because they were actually leaving the estate.

He would never have admitted it, but the writer had been concerned as well. It had been years since he had apparated anyone other than himself, and to this end had taken the prudent step in recent weeks of practising to be certain his side-along skills were up to scratch. The added bonus was that he was now confident that he could still perform the imperius curse using his damaged wand hand. Four times he had borrowed people, just for a few minutes at a time, wiping the incident from their memories once he was done with them and only one of them had been left at the opposite end of the country from where she had started. Completely innocent.

Moments later and they were in the alleyway immediately adjoining the bookstore where they had first met. The autumnal chill was less noticeable here, but there were traces of creeping mist in the alley. Three steps, and they were standing outside the bookstore; Dermod half expecting the fragile woman to change her mind and decide that this would be as far as their expedition went today. And she was thinking along similar lines, it seemed, though she claimed she was ready. She was lying, of course but he smiled anyway “A whole shelf of books, later on” and agreed. Already she'd gone further than any time in the past four years and he knew what it had cost her.

The bookstore wasn't far into Knockturn alley, and even walking slowly, giving Gabriella time to get used to her surroundings and not panic at the few people who were currently in the street, they reached the cross section into Diagon within a couple of minutes. With the young woman clinging tightly to his arm it was easy to ignore his own concerns, ones he hadn't mentioned to Gabriella at all. He was certain that Ollivander had never seen his face, but Dermod had been at the Malfoy manor several times while the wandmaker had been imprisoned, and he knew his voice was distinctive. So as they approached the ancient shop, he was fervently hoping that the only thing Ollivander remembered about him was that his wand had a thestral tail hair core.

Gabriella took a decent breath as Dermod smiled knowingly at her. He knew she was reluctant to do this, and that she couldn’t possibly actually be ready to do this, but she was desperate to try to get back to normal, and if pushing herself harder then she wanted to meant that she’d be able to manage the trip to King’s Cross to collect her daughter for christmas… well then she would be more than happy to do this. And if it meant that she could finally have a wand again, and use magic… she could actually feel like a witch again, instead of a struggling child. “We only need to get a few.... This trip at least.” she murmured, smiling softly as she rested her head on his arm while they walked. The implication was there of course, that they could use it as an excuse to make further trips.

When they stepped out onto Diagon Alley, the petite woman let out a soft shudder, holding tighter to him. There weren’t many people on the street, but gabriella found herself watching the ground while simultaneously trying to  search each of the faces, desperately hoping not to recognise a single one. She’d known each of the former tenants of the Rose, both the ones that had been evicted and those who had been there at the time of the fire. Of course, the thought occurred to her with a bit of terror, that if it had been someone attacking them because of the Moriarty name, it might not have been someone who had been a tenant. Which meant she might not know their face at all. Which meant it could have been anyone…

She was trembling by the time they got close to the wand shop, already walking quickly to keep up with dermod’s longer stride, but faster still, desperate to reach the shop, biting the inside of her lip hard and moving in silence. For some reason, being inside the shop rather than out in the open felt far safer to her. She reached out for the handle of the door even before Dermod could, happy to get inside the building quickly and desperately hoping that she did not look like a terrified churchmouse, taking several deep breaths to calm herself as she waited for her husband to come in behind her.

The smell of wood and whatever polishes were used on the wands were almost comforting, not as much as the smell of books would have been, but still reassuring, as she’d actually managed to make it here without panicking too badly. She still had her eyes closed, and opened them, looking around and reaching for Dermod’s hand this time, giving it a tight squeeze.

"As many as you want" he promised. He'd meant to walk slowly, but with every step Gabriella clung tighter to his arm, her eyes darting from one face to another, to the ground, to him, then back again constantly. He quickened his pace, thinking she would feel better once they were on more familiar ground. While he had visited the wand shop only once in his life, his wife seemed to have got through far more wands than the usual person. Would this be her fourth, or fifth? Dermod couldn't remember, and had no intention of asking. It was a big enough step that she had decided to replace the wand his sister had acquired (he suspected by digging up an ancestor's grave in the castle crypt) for her.

By the time they reached Ollivander's her breathing was shallow and rapid; on the verge of panic. Dermod started to speak, to ask if she was sure she was up to this and offer to apparate them back home when she released his arm, darted the last few paces to the shop, practically grabbed the handle and wrenched the door open before he could open it for her. Well that answered one question, at least. No need to go back today.

The shop appeared deserted, but the Irishman knew that looks were often deceiving. Although this was past the busiest season for wandmakers, the door had been left unlocked, therefore Ollivander was here. People were always breaking wands, or losing them, after all; and many children were brought here on their eleventh birthday to obtain their own wands, often before they received their Hogwarts letters. Dermod hadn't been in here for well over forty years. The last time he'd stood here had been the beginning of Spring; his sister, tired of his stealing her wand to try out spells he'd read about had brought him to Diagon Alley. It had been the first time he'd met anyone who wasn't a member of his family, and he was surprised that the memory was comfortable and solid, as if being read aloud from a favourite tale rather than entwined with emotions as one might expect from such a momentous occasion. The thought flitted through his mind and was gone in a couple of seconds.

Gabriella was a statue, albeit a trembling one, and as he closed the shop door behind them she reached out to him. He took her small hand without hesitation and was surprised by the strength of it in his own. "You made it" he said quietly to her as he wondered if the feeling would come back into his fingers soon. Still the shop was deserted, but there was a quiet rustling coming from somewhere amongst the tall rows of wand boxes. "Good afternoon?" he said, a little louder than his regular speaking voice, the greeting sounding just a little like a question.