I'm not okay (I promise) [Piers]

“Piers!  Piers!”  The young witch called out frantically as she slammed her fist against the door.  “Please!  Are you home?!”  Trey knew it wasn’t very polite to just show up to someone’s place unannounced but she just needed to see him, to see that he was ok.  And she needed to see him now – before she completely fell to pieces.  Maybe they hadn’t really been in touch for a while but that didn’t mean she didn’t care about him.  Trey hated that cared about him in fact.  It made her vulnerable to this… this… crushing, suffocating pain in her chest at the thought of him getting hurt.  This was why she avoided getting attached to anyone; she couldn’t cope with this, not again. 

Just as she was ready to collapse under the weight of her grief, right there on his doorstep, the door swung open and there he was.  “Oh thank Merlin.”  She gasped, taking in a little hitching breath of air.  “I went to the hospital ...  And you weren't there!”  Trey didn’t mean to sound accusatory but couldn’t help it.  He would know what it had meant for her to go to St Mungos, how much she hated that place.  Trey had vowed never to step foot in there again; except that she had, because she’d thought Piers life was hanging in the balance – only to find out that he had already been discharged.  She was visibly shaking as she stood there in front of her friend, unsure whether to hug him or hit him. 

It was really quite unfair for her to be angry with him, but she was.  Trey was angry that he’d even gotten hurt in the first place.  She was angry that such a thing had filled her with enough fear and worry to compel her to travel half-way across the world just to make sure he was alright.  And she was angry that she’d had to hear about the incident second-hand.  However, none of that was Piers fault; the last was undoubtedly hers.  Trey intentionally made herself hard to reach, that was how she liked things.  She avoided contact with people as much as possible.  For all she knew, he might have tried to send her a message; although realistically he had probably had many more important things on his mind than trying to track her down. 

She took a deep breath.  “I’m glad that you’re…” Ok?  Trey hesitated, unsure.  She only had a vague idea of what had happened and that it might have involved a werewolf.  Was he…?  Could he have been… bitten?  She shied away from the thought.  The implications of what that would mean for him were staggering.  Trey swallowed anxiously and then forced a smile.  “Alive.  I’m so bloody glad you’re still kicking."

@Piers Lovell

It had been a long road to being as recovered as he was now. He had spent two weeks in the hospital, in excruciating pain, but now he was home. It was time to get on with his normal life, but the emotional effects of the bite were starting to come through. He would never be the same again. He would never be so carefree. There was a chance that their children could become infected, if they chose to have any. There was a chance he could transform and bite and hurt her and there was a chance that she could decide it was too much for her to handle and leave. Maybe it would’ve been kinder for Piers to leave, to not put her at risk, but damned if this wasn’t the only thing he had ever really wanted—her. He had loved her since he was a young boy. He had always followed her around like a puppy. He had endured Darren claiming dibs on her, he had endured her past boyfriends, he had endured so many things…. What was another one, right? Another thing to overcome, another shot to the foot? Piers knew it wouldn’t be that easy, but he needed to keep it together. He couldn’t just break down and cry, he had people to live for. He needed life to go on, as normal as possible.

He hadn’t been expecting anyone. Jane was at work, and he was home alone, listening to wirelesss radio and trying to rest. He heard the hard, frantic knocking on the door, and stood straight up, feeling pain on his right side, as he wobbled his way to the door. They had given him strong painkillers, and he felt a bit like his mother—too doped up to know up from down. This was no way to live. He would need to reevaluate his dosage. He hated the pain, but he didn’t like the way the drugs made him feel. Woosy. He opened the door quickly, wondering who was making the racket but then stopped when he saw Trey.

He initially didn’t know how she had heard, or why she was in town. He was trying to keep things as under wraps as it was possible to do, but he and Trey had always been close and maybe he had let it slip in a letter, or Jane had written her, or someone else had. He didn’t know who, and he was angry for a second but also glad to see her. He knew she hated being here. He knew it brought back too many bad memories for her, it did for both of them.  “Trey…” He offered, just surprised to see her. He was a little out of it. “I… wow, yeah, you’re a far cry from home, huh? You didn’t come all this way to make sure I didn’t kick the bucket, did you?” He forced a laugh. “Can’t kill me that easy.” He managed, though he didn’t feel at all like joking.

“You, uh, wanna come in? I’ll put the kettle on. Or maybe a beer. You look like you could use a beer.” He really ought to not mix painkillers with alcohol, but he was going to do it anyway. A beer was just a beer. It wasn’t like he was doing shots of tequila, though he had that, and he thought a few shots might be even more what Trey needed. She looked wound up, and he worried for her to worry so much about him. He liked to pretend he was invincible.

Trey could immediately recognise the haze of heavy pain medication around her friend – the slight unsteadiness in his posture as though his body didn’t quite understand gravity correctly, the subtle delay in his speech as he tried to think with a fuzzy mind, the way he tried but couldn’t quite get his eyes to focus on her…  It was all too familiar.  For a moment she was struck with a double-image as Piers features were overlaid with that of another – her brother.  It just about sent her running.  But Kieran was gone; his pain, at least, ended. 

Swallowing as much of her concern as she could, Trey forced a tight smile.  “Yes, I guess I did.  But it’s embarrassing when you put it that way.”  Her tone was light but strained.  She really had no desire to cause Piers any stress.  As she went about pulling herself together the emotions that had threatened to overwhelm her just moments before were being tucked back into their accustomed corners of her psyche, though they didn’t rest easy.  Piers made a poor joke but she laughed anyway, “Of course.  Sorry, my mistake.”

“I…,” she hesitated over his invitation, unsure how deeply she wanted to get involved in his situation.  Trey had not come here with any particular intentions aside from making sure he was, relatively, ok.  Now that she had laid eyes on his living, breathing body herself, she ought to be able to leave and forget all about it.  Or at least that’s what she tried to tell herself.  Life would be a lot easier if she could be half as cold and distant as she wanted to be. 

“Is Jane home?” she asked, stalling.  If his other half was around then she could just say ‘hi’ and leave him in her capable hands.  Trey stretched up onto her tippy-toes to peek over his shoulder but could not spot anyone else hovering in the background.  With a start of guilt she realised that she was keeping Piers standing awkwardly in the doorway while she dithered.  The young witch still felt shaky; it would take time to bleed off the nervous energy that had propelled her here.  As she looked over her friend again, she made her decision – they could probably both use a sit down. 

“A beer would be good actually.”  She finally nodded and followed him inside.  Trey made her way to the couch and took a seat, trying to act as though this was just some kind of casual social visit.  Piers was still clearing suffering from his injuries but she didn’t offer to help get the drinks.  She doubted that he would appreciate being babied.  It would probably be easier for both of them to pretend nothing was wrong. 

“How is Jane then?  I bet she wasn’t too impressed with your stunt either.”  She enquired with false nonchalance.  Trey knew that she should be asking how he was doing but she was a little scared of the answer.  Instead she fell into well-practiced tactics of avoidance, of not raising the most pertinent questions and skirting around the dangerous topics.  Trey made sure to smile as the old coping mechanisms kicked into gear.

Piers could sense the tension in her body, but couldn’t really place the reason why, given his state. He offered her a light smile. He hadn’t seen her in so long, it felt almost like seeing a ghost. He wished Trey was closer to him, physically. He wished she lived nearby so they could meet up more than once every blue moon. He shook his head when she asked if Jane was in. “Nah, she’s out working without me. Makes me feel like a cute little house husband.” He teased. He nodded behind him, welcoming her in to go get the beer from the fridge. He popped one open for her, then another one for himself. Mixing alcohol and pain potions was probably a bad idea, but it wasn’t as though he was planning on getting trashed. Also, he wasn’t flying or apparating anywhere anytime soon. He’d be lucky to ever leave his apartment again.
 
He offered her the cool drink, then led the way to the slight-messy living room. He plopped on the couch, leaving the nice chair for Trey. He sipped his beer. “Jane is… dealing. She’s just glad I’m alive and so am I. I could’ve been a lot worse.” He was pretty bad, though. Even after his wounds healed, he would be infected for the rest of his life. He would never be able to have a normal life after this. He didn’t know what he was going to do, and he was doing his best to forget. He didn’t want to hurt anyone, but he didn’t know what to do about the wolf. He could feel it, even now. He could feel something different and dark inside him. He had never felt anything like it before.
 
“What about you? You couldn’t have possibly broken your self-imposed exile just for little ol’ me.” He teased lightly, though there was some darkness behind the voice. He knew that calling it what it was, an exile, would hurt her a bit—but he was hoping he could talk her into coming home. Stop avoiding, and just be around friends again. Friends like him, like Jane.
 
He stretched out on the couch, grimacing a bit, and looking up at her. He felt a warmth in his heart when he saw her. He had missed her more than he realized.