[craven] stars in still water. [billie/kendrick]

Phillip arrived at the Kendrick household in Craven with a loud crack. He'd landed steadily, shook out his arms, rolled his neck, and took a deep breath. He had spent an extra five minutes calming his nerves before he'd felt comfortable apparating to Billie's house. He wasn't nervous about apparating, he was growing rather comfortable with the magic involved, but he was nervous about the upcoming afternoon. Seeing Billie had him feeling all sorts of emotions he wasn't used to. Excitement, hope, longing, anxiety, maybe even a little bit of fear. Despite having been comfortable being around her for so long something had definitely shifted since their last letters. Maybe he was over thinking it, probably, but the word "date" certainly put a new weight on things. And especially the fact that he was meeting Kendrick and having lunch with them before they went off to the fair.

He was a ball of nerves when he approached the front porch. Phillip found himself wishing he had brought flowers or something even though she'd told him not to. At least then he would have something to keep his hands busy. He rang the bell, heard footsteps moving around behind the door, and took one more quick breath. Phillip never would of thought he'd be standing here. Meeting Kendrick was another thing he'd built up in his head, especially since the last of the notes Billie had written, and it would be a lie to say he wasn't nervous about that too. Everything about today was a new experience. It reminded him why he usually just avoided social stuff all together, it was easier.

Standing on the stoop he had nothing but time while he waited for the door to open. He saw his pale reflection in the little glass panes of the hardy front door. There were dark circles under his eyes but at least he'd combed his hair. He had a dark gray short sleeve shirt on, it was June so he'd left the jacket behind but that didn't mean he was going to wear bright colors or anything. His wand was tucked into the back pocket of his dark jeans and his sneakers were scuffed. He did the best he could. When the door finally opened he tried to pull the resting scowl off his face and spoke.

"Um, hi."

In another world, Kendrick would have baked the scones himself, but that was a world in which he'd learned to bake instead of frittering away his bachelor years on more entertaining pursuits. Instead, he'd picked up some frozen dough (maybe they would have a little more of that fresh flavor) from the bakery on his way back from his early shift and popped them in the oven, setting the kettle to boil for tea - Billie liked tea - and grabbing a plate to assemble some ham-and-mustard sandwiches on. He assumed Billie was still in her room - she'd spent a lot of time there writing, mostly to this Phillip, since she'd gotten home - and wondered if she was nervous.

He wondered if he was nervous. He and Jo hosted friends over for small gatherings all the time, but Jo was usually in charge rather than at work and he was just under her direction. Plus, adults were easier than teenagers. It wasn't like it had been so long since Kendrick had been their age that he forgot what it was like, but he remembered exactly how nice and smooth his mum had made it to have friends (or more than friends? But Kendrick hadn't really brought any of his school flings home) over when he was that age, and it was that seamless invisibility he was aiming for. He didn't want to embarrass Billie, but he also didn't want to be totally absent - he did want to meet Phillip before they went out to this fair whatever. Probably, all of this was overthinking it, he concluded. There was food and drink, and plenty of space, and Phillip, if he was a typical teenage boy, would probably not care at all.

Eventually, there was a knock on the door, which elicited an interested, happy bark from Bo, who, as a retriever, seemed to have no protective sense whatsoever. "Billie?" he called in the direction of her room. "I made some snacks, I'll be in the kitchen if you guys want to come in after you say hello? You, in the meantime," he directed at the dog, "Come here, get some water, and sit, okay? Good boy."

Billie had spent the whole day oscillating between nervously checking her appearance in the mirror on her desk and trying to pass the time by reading in her bed. Neither were very comforting. She’d put on some makeup, then taken it all off when it looked far too dramatic for the casual afternoon that they were probably going to share together. She’d tried again, this time sticking to a little blush and an even-littler brush of eyeshadow and it had gone a lot better.

She’d avoided her guardians, because she knew that Kendrick would give her that look. It was the same one he’d given her when he’d picked her up from the train station recently and asked her for a recount of how school had been since he’d seen her last. She found herself unable to talk about much other than Phillip, and after a little while he’d gotten a look in his eye that… made her want to squirm, but also made her feel warm? She imagined it was the way a parent or older sibling might look at one if they were well, obviously in love. Or something. It filled her up but left her exposed at the same time.

The knock at the door had her almost drop the book she wasn’t reading from her hands. She moved immediately to her desk, checking herself for the millionth time in the mirror, smoothing few loose strands of hair away from her face. Kendrick called out her name from somewhere in the house and she threw her makeup things in their bag quickly and stashed them in the drawer unceremoniously. “I have it," she called back, walking quickly and resisting jogging to the front door. "Thank you Kendrick!" The Silvermans’ dog barked in the background.

She hesitated just outside the door, her heart beating quickly as she reached for the handle. It was fine, she didn't need to be this nervous. What was scary about her not-father meeting her not-boyfriend? She shook her head, chasing that thought away, and opened the door.

“Hi,” she said back, feeling suddenly struck with a particular timbre of shyness as their eyes met. Billie hovered in the doorway for a moment, feeling self aware, before stepping out and shutting it behind her. She paused there too, feeling overwhelmingly happy to see him, and a bit silly because it really hadn’t been that long since she’d seen him last. After a second, she broke into a smile - her real smile - and it lit up her face like sunshine. She moved forward and gave him a quick, tight hug. “It’s good to see you,” she said into his chest, before pulling back, her hands lingering on his forearms for a moment. “How are you?”

Phillip thought for sure Kendrick was going to answer, it seemed fitting in a situation like this, but he was more than just relieved when he saw those pretty pale eyes greeting him. "Hi" He said again, his nerves getting the best of him as he stared at her for a moment. He hadn't seen her in near two weeks now and even though that might not of seemed like that long to the teenager it was basically decades. Especially after seeing her pretty much every day for the entire term. He knew he had missed her, but in that moment he realized exactly how much. Her hug couldn't of come a moment too soon and he didn't pause when he wrapped his arms around her.

"I missed you," he whispered to her as they clung to each other for a fleeting moment. He wished the hug would of lasted a little longer, he would of stood there as long as she waited, even with the potential of her unknown male guardian (and he was pretty sure he'd heard a dog bark) lurking some where in the background.

Alas, when she pulled back, so did he but not by much. He smiled, standing closer to her then normal as she kept her hands on his forearms. "I'm, you know, I'm fine." He didn't know how to answer the question. She had to know his summer pretty much sucked so far. Anytime he was stuck at his uncles was an awful time. There was a warmth in his eyes though as he continued, a smile he saved just for her. "Better now though.

"How are you?"

“Me too,” she said, feeling a bit out of herself under the way he was looking at her. “Better, I mean.” Not that she’d had a horrible summer so far by any stretch of the imagination. The utterly normal dinners, afternoons spent sitting in the sun with her journal, two mornings where she and Kendrick had tried to learn how to make croissants together… they were some of the best days she’d spent outside of school since she’d first gone to Hogwarts.

Reflecting on that as the backdrop against which she was standing here with Phillip, right now, Billie felt a bit breathless, like she was all full of cool air, wrapping her up and lifting her. With the feelings stirred when their eyes met just now, Billie could barely believe she was so lucky. The bigger-than-herself feeling was tempered a bit when she remembered what was happening here in the first place. “Um, should we…” She gestured to the door, but her eyes stayed on him and she didn’t move. The nerves were returning now that the elation of first seeing him was wearing off slowly.

The truth was, Phillip didn’t like authority figures. And Kendrick, well, he was youthful and warm and loving, but he was also acting as her guardian, and that meant that he was exactly that. She wanted so badly for Phillip to love Kendrick the way she did, but knew that that was impossible. So she'd accepted that she needed to settle... for the next highest amount. And on the other side of things, the flipside was also true. She was nervous about Kendrick liking Phillip, too. Nervous that Kendrick wouldn’t get to see Phillip the way she did. Really see him.

Billie gave him another smile, hoping he wouldn't be too uncomfortable in the strange new social dynamic they were moving into. She opened the door.

He felt a warming sensation in his chest when she repeated his words, putting too much stock in them, hoping she meant what he had. Hoping that she had wanted to see him as much as he had been desperately missing her. He felt like every other moment of the last two weeks had been pitch black but she was his light, she was his North Star. He watched her motion toward the door and he gritted his teeth visibly. He knew that was the whole point of coming to Craven, to go inside and to meet Kendrick, but he wished for a few more quiet moments just with her. He cherished these moments more and more. The idea of meeting her guardian was daunting, but he was willing to try for her.

"Yeah, suppose so.." He replied apprehensively as she lowered her hands from his forearms and reached for the door. He wondered what it would be like inside this home. From the outside it looked like it had been built some time ago but that it had been updated, or at the very least, taken well care of. Like the residents cared about the place, like they'd wanted it to be more than just a house. The inside didn't disappoint either. Stepping inside he felt the little wave of dry heat in the air that meant the oven must of been on. He heard a dog lapping up water in the distance. He noticed all sorts of little things but mostly he just watched her as she moved gracefully through the entryway and into the kitchen.

"Thanks for inviting me over." He said, because he felt so out of place that he was actually trying to find something to say rather than hide in his own silence like normal.

Billie closed the door behind him, then moved into the house, making her way through to the kitchen. His reluctance was palpable, and she did her best not to focus on it too intensely, as her emotions were quite easily affected by his. She tried not to walk too quickly or too slowly; she was impatient, but nervous and if she leaned too far either way, then she’d lose her balance.

Kendrick was there, waiting, and she shot him a small, embarrassed smile as she entered the kitchen. Phillip followed behind her. The blonde stayed on the side of he kitchen bench opposite Kendrick, watching his reaction closely as he saw her… close friend… for the first time. After a beat, she moved out of the way, feeling a bit like she was hovering. “Kendrick, Phillip,” she offered unnecessarily, folding her hands together on the benchtop and observing them both closely.

Kendrick resisted the urge to move towards the entrance and hover to see what was happening, and the urge was shut when he heard the door click closed. He knew that if he were actually Billie's father or something maybe he should have gotten the door instead, but he was just her guardian and Phillip was not, he gathered, her boyfriend, and he was trying (too?) hard to be cool.

The protective part of him that had served him so well when it was Briony he was looking after wanted information. Phillip was old enough to Apparate here and Billie was only fifteen. Billie was obviously crazy about him - she'd never said as much out loud but even Kendrick, who, as a teenage boy at the time, had never been trustworthy enough to get the full brunt of teenage girl gushing, was pretty sure Billie's level of it meant that she liked him. He didn't know what Billie thought about love - not the kind of love she had for him, the childish trusting kind, but the adult sort - so he didn't know what level it was at and at any rate didn't believe she could really be in love even if she thought she was at that age, but he also knew that her thinking of it mattered. At any rate, her level of investment coupled with the day that she had come out of her room with a weird note in her voice saying that Phillip was staying with some other girl over the summer made him anxious to know if Phillip was just leading her on or something.

Of course, that was another thing to be nervous about. Who really thought Kendrick of all people would be discerning enough to tell even if he was leading her on? But there was no one else who could figure it out and help her. It was a lot of responsibility, Kendrick was feeling, and although he considered himself fairly mature in the ways that mattered (if absolutely childish in all the ways that didn't), he was still only 31 years old. For Merlin's sake, Jo was only just pregnant with their first child now. It was like he was having to fill the role that Billie's father should have played at her age (except he hated the idea even though he hurt that she felt the loss, because who knew what gentle, wholehearted Billie would be like if she'd stayed surrounded by all those Death Eaters) without going through any of the more mundane diapers or stopping-toddlers-from-falling-off-tables that helped you grow into your fatherly responsibilities in between.

A few moments later, he heard the door open again and, after rubbing his hands together briefly, looked up at the sound of footsteps. "Hi!" Billie seemed nervous, and Kendrick tried to make his own smile reassuring. Phillip came into view, a tall young man (at least compared to Billie, if not to Kendrick) wearing nice if slightly worn clothes, or so his quick up-and-down glance told him. Kendrick offered him a grin in return for his politeness. "No problem, happy to have you. It's nice to finally meet you, Phillip." He nearly followed up with 'I've heard good things' but that would probably embarrass Billie so he refrained. "Um," he clapped his hands together, looking around a little awkwardly, and then pointed them at the scones, which were now cooling on a second plate. "I er, baked some scones, no I did not make the batter Billie, and I made sandwiches, if you're hungry? And tea. Feel free to help yourself," he said, sliding two plates and cups toward them and grabbing a sandwich himself. "Oh, and this is Bo," he pointed at the dog, who perked up on hearing his name, though he was still sat patiently. "I don't know how you feel about animals or anything but he doesn't have an aggressive bone in his body, Billie can confirm, so don't worry if he comes up to you, he just wants to make friends." That was probably...too much talking for trying to be unobtrusive, but he thought Billie had said that Phillip was kind of quiet sometimes. Hopefully it was the putting-at-ease kind of talk and not the intimidating-too-many-words kind.

Sitting down at the table across from them, he took a bite of the sandwich, trying to keep the atmosphere casual. He screwed up his face for a second, trying to place something odd about the taste, but then reminded himself he had company. "Sorry, just trying to figure out if the mustard's gone off," he chuckled. As far as he remembered, mustard never really went off. It was probably fine. "So...how's your summer so far, Phillip? Billie said you were staying with a friend?"

Quietly he followed her through to the kitchen and saw Kendrick standing there. He wasn't sure what he had been picturing when she'd told him about Kendrick Silverman, the Ministry worker who had took her in when her Aunt passed, but it wasn't quite this. Assuming the worse Phillip had guessed he was some stuffy old authoritarian type, that maybe he just wanted Billie's money (she'd never told him, but the way she behaved made him think her family must of been rich at some point), the list of bad things could go on and on, but he had never thought he would be a young adult, quick to smile and welcome him. Phillip half smiled, trying to look less uncomfortable than he felt, and responded. "It's nice to meet you too." He said, holding his hand out to shake Kendrick's. Out of the corner of his eye he searched Billie's face, hoping he was making the right impression.

When his hand returned to his side he stuck it in his pocket, uneasy. "Uh, thanks." He said as Kendrick told them a whole lot of information about scones and sandwiches and Phillip just looked from the older wizard back to Billie and then followed to conversation to look at the dog, Bo. "Okay." He said quietly. Phillip had never had a dog and he hadn't really ever been around many of them so he had little idea what to do. He supposed if the creature came up to him he would pet it, he hoped it didn't slobber on him though.

Awkwardly he followed them to the table and took a seat, the legs of his chair scratching along the floor as he pulled it out, causing him to frown deeply. He was no good at this things. He wasn't even good at talking to Billie or Wini, and they were his best friends, he was worse at talking to strangers. Especially considering that stranger may very well be the gatekeeper of his access to see Billie all summer. There was a lot of pressure to be better than he was. To be friendly, respectable, and trustworthy. He thought he should say something nice about the house or the dog or ask Kendrick about himself. Anything to seem like he was happy to be there, but nothing came out, so he took a bite of his sandwich instead. He was struck by the foul flavor, it was so strong, he stopped chewing in that instant and did his absolute best to keep from pulling the same sort of face Kendrick had. Instead he sat there for a second, the awful tasting mustard assaulting his senses, and forced himself to swallow. "No-- it's uh... thanks for the lunch." He said, hoping talking would force oxygen into his mouth and air out the taste. He quietly put the sandwich back down on the plate and used a napkin to wipe at his mouth before answering the questions.

"It's going good sir." He said as he stole another look at Billie and continued. "Yeah, with my friend Winifred. My uh.. Usually I stay with my uncle in Scotland and it's not great there.. so her real dad is letting me stay with them this summer." It was more words in one stretch than he had said the entire time he'd been here. And probably the longest he would for sometime. He felt this odd urge to reassure both Billie, and now Kendrick, that he was staying with Wini because it was his best option. That she was only his friend. That it was nothing more than that. He didn't like this feeling. "Billie said you work in the Ministry? What do you do?" He pried, wanting the questions desperately off of him.

She raised her eyebrows as Kendrick said he’d made scones and then gave a small smile when he looked her way, adding that he hadn’t made the batter. She stayed quiet, making sure not to bounce or shift her weight from foot to foot like she wanted to. She kept her hands still and folded on the edge of the bench, trying to project her more characteristic sereneness rather than the nervous energy she was embodying at the moment. “Oh, he’s lovely,” Billie agreed quickly, looking at Phillip, then affectionately at Bo. Billie loved animals. She looked back at Phillip, trying not to worry too much.

She wanted to hover behind them as they moved to the table, but Phillip was sort of hovering already so she moved ahead, letting him follow. She took her seat quietly. This would be a great time, she thought distantly, for some latent legilimency skills to spontaneously kick in. What was Phillip thinking? And Kendrick? She turned her oceany eyes to each of them in turn, giving Phillip a small smile as their eyes met before serving herself a scone. Billie went to offer Phillip one too, but he was already eating a sandwich. Not a very tasty one, from the looks of things. Billie glanced nervously at Kendrick, the hand holding the butter knife suspended above the jam jar, unsure if he’d caught it. She went back to her food quickly.

Sir was probably what she would call a random older man she didn't know too, but it sounded strange addressed to Kendrick.

Billie’s expression froze a little when Kendrick mentioned the friend Phillip was staying with, but she quickly corrected it. She tried not to watch Phillip’s face when he answered that part, busying herself with pouring two teas instead. “Sugar, Phillip?” she asked quietly, giving them both an apologetic smile for interjecting. She slid Phillip’s mug to him, trying to pour a little reassurance into her expression when they met eyes again. She reminded herself gently that if he did end up being madly in love with Winifred, that that would be okay - as long as he was happy. That was the most important thing.

Kendrick was pleasantly surprised by Phillip's offer of a handshake and returned it firmly, though said pleasant surprise immediately made him feel like he was thinking like someone alarmingly older than he was. Well, Phillip sure looked nervous, with all those looks towards Billie, for someone who was just trying to take advantage of Billie and was willing to meet him in order to do it, so although Kendrick felt more pressure to put him at something like ease, his mental slider of opinion cautiously slid further in the positive direction.

He did, in fact, notice how Phillip took one bite and no more of his sandwich, but even though he winced inwardly at his own ineptitude - hadn't his mother always told him that tasting things before serving them was the cardinal rule of cooking, not that this was really cooking per se - he didn't want to put the two young people under any more pressure to be polite. Billie was being terribly restrained right now - Kendrick knew she was a quiet girl, but over the years she'd gotten more an more comfortable with him, and he knew, from the apparent volume of her writing, that she must feel comfortable around Phillip too. He tried not to look at her too much, but he could feel her eyes on them. "It's no problem, and don't feel pressure to eat much, if you ate just before you came or anything," he said genially, offering an easy out.

Merlin, Kendrick was not old enough to be called 'sir' by someone who was of age. "You can call me Kendrick, or also...nothing at all," he said hastily with a laugh. "I'm only 31, I honestly wouldn't be offended to be called 'hey you' or something." Nodding at Phillip's explanation, he tried to give an understanding sort of smile as Phillip mentioned it being not so great with his uncle. Billie had told him a little about what Phillip had been through, and it helped him see why Billie felt a kinship with him. He hoped Billie didn't think staying with him was as terrible as Phillip seemed to think his uncle's was. "Friends of that level are important," he said sincerely, remembering what it had been like for him at seventeen, wanting nothing more than to get started with life, visiting Ingrid and Ewan and Ash for week-long stretches. "Hope you hold on to them."

He nodded, scratching his forehead at his hairline a little sheepishly. "Yeah, I'm on the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad. When I was about your age I guess I was trying to figure out what to do - my dad's an Auror and I think he always thought it would be a good idea but I wasn't up for the training or anything. I like it, pretty varied work, anything from underage magic outbursts to splinching and explosions, one time I got called to Wales to handle some mutant fanged sheep that were terrorizing some Muggles, that sort of thing," he chuckled at the memory, even though it reminded him of Edith and Obliviation and how she'd quit and what she'd said. "It's not glamorous or anything, I still work shifts and all, but you know, it's pretty good for getting to spend time with Billie during traditional work hours when my wife's gone." He smiled fondly at Billie, thinking about baking. "She's the real career one, did do the Auror thing, recently got promoted to Head. You given much thought to what comes after school? I know, I know, probably the one question you're asked the most at this time and want least to answer."

"Oh, right, yeah I just ate but thank you." He said awkwardly as he tried to take Kendrick's out as politely as he could. Phillip usually didn't spend this long trying to be respectful and what he thought people expected him to be. He hated living up to anyone's idea of how he should be, especially this idea he'd built up himself. He wanted Kendrick to like him because he knew it was important to Billie but it was such a strange feeling. Seeking the approval of anyone, it felt like a lie and he couldn't shake the feeling. He tried to relax in his seat as he told them about staying with Winifred but easing up wasn't as easy as it should of been. When Kendrick corrected him he pushed out a chuckle, it was so clearly forced he wanted to roll his eyes at himself. "Okay.. Kendrick." Yeah that didn't feel right either.

Billie asked if he wanted some sugar and he thanked her silently, hoping this would take longer than expected so they could sit silently for a few moments. He was already exhausted. He slid his cup toward her as she readied the tea and he listened to Kendrick answer his question. He couldn't imagine working for any department in the ministry. The whole organization seemed corrupted and Phillip didn't trust any of it. He would be lying if he said the accidental magic reversal squad didn't sound at least a little interesting though. Phillip wondered if magic that didn't work the way it was supposed to fell into Kendrick's purview or if he just focused on over emotional preteens. He considered asking him about vanishing cabinets and the magic behind them but Kendrick was continuing, and in a way, answering his unspoken questions as he told them about splinching and explosions and mutant sheep. "Sounds, uh, fun." He said softly, trying to engage and be a part of the conversation but failing terribly.

Hearing about his wife, the Auror, Phillip shifted in his seat, using every ounce of will he had to avoid crossing his arms defiantly across his chest out of pure instinct. Naturally he didn't trust any adults, ministry employees included, and Aurors the least of all, so hearing that put him on guard. He stole a look at Billie and then back to Kendrick as the conversation rounded back to his plans for after Hogwarts. He couldn't avoid the sigh that escaped his lips as he rubbed his hands on the fabric of his slacks. "Well..." he started, sneaking another uncomfortable glance at Billie and hoping she would save him some how. She knew better than anyone what his real plans were for after Hogwarts but he doubted Kendrick would find it as rewarding as Phillip did. He wasn't going to continue his education, wasn't going to look for some forward thinking career, he was going to continue to do what he was already doing but with more freedom. Obsessing over finding his mother and sister even if it left him broke and on the street.

"I haven't really found my calling yet Mr. Silverman." He finally answered, trying out another way of addressing the man who had told him clearly what to call him or nothing at all. He didn't feel comfortable calling the adult across the table from him by his first name. It felt too familiar, too much like they were trying to be friends and Phillip didn't really like having many friends. He had Billie, and Wini, and that was plenty. Besides being only 31 sounded like a lifetime of differences to Phillip, but he knew better than to mention that.

"I suppose I will have to figure that out this year." Forcing out a half smile he miserably tried to make a joke.

Every time he looked at her, Billie tried to smile. She made their teas quietly and slid his cup back to him, then cupped her own with two hands as she blew across its surface. Billie felt caught between jumping into the conversation and politely holding back; she didn’t want to interrupt, and honestly didn’t have much to add to everything. Should she nod and agree when Kendrick talked about Jocasta? Should she do the same when Phillip talked about Scotland not being great?

She felt a lot of pressure to try and smooth things over for Phillip. She could tell he was trying, but would Ken be able to see it, or would he just think Phillip was sullen and quiet and apathetic and… She trailed off helplessly, thinking that, well, Phillip was those things. Most of the time. Sometimes. He was so much more, though, and she wished she could share those parts of him, the way he was with her, how caring he could be underneath it all.

Kendrick chuckled and Phillip didn’t and neither did Billie. She kind of wanted the floor to open up just now, and deliver her quickly from the tension strung heavy across the dining table. For someone as soft and sensitive as she was, this was all a little torturous. But then Kendrick looked at her, with a particular type of softness in his expression that filled her up. She smiled back at him, feeling a little calmer.

Phillip glanced her way when Kendrick asked about work. "Oh," she said, covering her mouth with her hand as she swallowed a bit of scone. "Phillip –" he started talking though, and she was quiet for a second. He did a sort of uncomfortable grimace at the end and Billie had to interject.

“He’s brilliant,” she said honestly, looking at Kendrick and not at Phillip because she wasn’t sure how he’d take her compliments. It’d probably make him uncomfortable, but she wanted Ken to know. And, she supposed, it didn’t hurt for Phillip to hear her say it either. She met Kendrick’s eye and willed him to understand just how true her words were. “One of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met,” she elaborated. After a beat, she had to look at Phillip and she gave a small smile at his expression, “I’m sorry, but it’s true,” she told him.