[MCG] a new day has begun [louise]

"Yeah, I do understand. You want a schedule but you also want it to change every day. I can see why the gallery has worked for you up until now." Having one exhibition to concentrate on for a few weeks, and then planning for the next one, was the perfect mix of organised and spontaneous. Again he had the feeling that teaching would be a good fit for Louise, but was determined not to bring up the subject again and sound like he was trying to talk her into it. There was more to just suggesting it anyway. She would need to send an application letter and have an interview and yet...he could certainly put in a good word for her if she decided she wanted to give it a try.

"I think I'd go crazy in about a week in an office job...and yet I never get bored reading students' essays or projects" he agreed "I guess it's because there's always a new way of looking at things...or sometimes, something so truly terrible there's nothing for it but to pin it in the staff room for others to share...but please don't ever tell anyone I said that!" It was one of those things that was generally kept a secret among professors. Receiving a bad piece of homework was merely graded and skimmed over, but receiving something that was so bad it was actually funny...that was something to share with others! Sam had to admit that he had received his fair share of terrible essays over the years.

He understood what Louise meant, though. She was losing enthusiasm for the gallery so maybe the time had come to ask someone else to run it, at least for a couple of years. "If someone else takes it over, you won't have to deal with the day to day running and you'll have the time and headspace to come up with new ideas" he agreed "it does sound sensible when you put it like that."

As they talked, he'd been vaguely watching the competition, not really paying attention but just letting his eyes wander in that direction. Louise's response surprised him and he turned his head back to her, feeling hopeful all over again. "Of course you could...if you wanted to" he said softly "and you'd get the bonus of that first really terrible essay to look forwards to..."

“Exactly. I want a schedule, a daily routine but not in the work itself just...” her voice trailed off and she sighed. “Well, you got it. I don't need to explain it further.” She let out a nervous laugh. Louise knew she could talk to Sam about everything and she felt comfortable doing so for the most part but they were talking about a big change in her life and that was not quite so easy.

“Agreed,” Louise nodded. “I remember my time at the Ministry. That was not my cup of tea.” She wondered how she'd feel about correcting essays students wrote. Sam probably got the most fun ones because of the subject he was teaching. Divination always encouraged students to write up nonsense. Then again, which subject would she actually apply for if she dared to make this step?

“That's what I was thinking. My assistant is actually quite enthusiastic about everything and she'd also really a great sales person. She probably manages to sell more than I do.” Again she shrugged. “The gallery would be in good hands anyway.”

As she had already suspected, Sam's reaction seemed to confirm that he had meant something else with his question. It didn't matter though, Louise assumed. “Do you really think I could do it though? I mean… I might want to – even without the prospect of the terrible essay,” she laughed but it was again a rather nervous laugh. “Sam, please, be entirely honest. Do you really think I could be a professor?” She paused before adding exasperatedly “I'm not even entirely sure what I should teach! I mean, History is probably the most likely class but…” she sighed and looked at Sam, hoping that he would be able to answer some of her questions.

"I couldn't imagine working at the Ministry. I know it's perfect for some people but honestly, every time a student tells me they want a job there and ask for a written reference I want to say 'No! Run for the hills! Don't tie yourself to a desk for the rest of your life!' and I have to remember that some people really enjoy that level of routine" Sam even shuddered a little as he spoke, but of course, having not actually had what one would call a real job until his early twenties, his career was hardly what most people would aspire to.

Clearly Louise had been thinking about the gallery and her future position there a lot longer than just today. "It sounds to me as though you've already decided that you'd like her to take over full time" he said "do you think she'd enjoy the challenge?" Sam assumed she'd thought about that too, but was still stopping short of taking the step of talking to her assistant - who Sam had met several times but embarrassingly, whose name entirely escaped his notice for the moment. And as to what Louise might do instead...

He thought for a moment before answering, because honestly, it was hard to say. Sam could easily imagine his girlfriend in front of a class, but it would depend on how she dealt with that situation. Some people who appeared quite shy in everyday life turned out to be excellent professors, and sometimes people who seemed to hae great personalities were simply unable to help others to learn. He supposed that was what it came down to, in the end.

"I asked myself exactly the same questions, seven years ago" he admitted "My subject knowledge...well, I knew that was certainly good enough, but what I didn't know was how I would cope with actually teaching. What if nobody listened to me? What if I found I couldn't explain divination techniques in a way they were able to understand? And...yeah, the first few weeks were hard. Kids always like to test a new professor and nobody warned me about that, so I tried to be fun and interesting when I should have started off with telling them the class rules and then relaxing a bit later on once they understood I wasn't going to put up with silly behaviour" He was aware that he hadn't even come close to answering her question.

"Honestly? I think you could. I actually think you'd be rather good, but...it's not about what I think. It's about what you want to do..."

Louise laughed. “I couldn't imagine working at the Ministry again either. Never ever would I go for that job again. Glad you're trying to prevent your students from making that mistake. Then again, I guess there are people for whom it is a good job.”

It was such a relief to be talking to Sam about her thoughts and Louise felt that she was already seeing a bit clearer now. “I think I have decided without being aware of it.” She amused by this now herself and smiled. “I guess I thought I was just contemplating my options when I had actually already decided that I want to make these changes to the gallery. I suppose the only reason why I didn't put it in action yet is that I am not sure what to do then.”

She now thought about the professor position. Professor Ellington. Well, that did sound nice. However, could she do it? Would she be strict or fun? She had a feeling her teaching style would be something in between but before she could consider how to teach, she'd have to apply for the position and actually get it.

“Hmm...” Louise made thoughtfully as she listened to Sam's words that, at first, seemed to be a little vague. “Thanks. It means a lot that you believe in me.” She paused briefly, wondering if he only said so because it would be convenient for their relationship if she was at Hogwarts, too but even if this was part of the reason for him stating that she'd be good, it did not change anything. “I am interested in it, I think.” Louise said after another moment of silence. “I guess the subject I'm qualified for most is History. As I said, Muggle Studies would be interesting as well but… aside from the fact that I have muggle contacts and know a fair bit about their world I'm probably not really qualified for that.”

"I can't prevent them from doing what they want, even if I think they're making the wrong choice!" Sam laughed "honestly, we need people who like doing the same thing, day in and day out...I just couldn't be one of them" he paused "but when I was head of house, I did always make sure I had plenty of information about alternative carers. Sometimes kids just follow in their parents' footsteps because it's always been assumed that's what they're going to do, and nobody's encouraged them to think about what they want"

And sometimes people just carried on with what they had done for years when really, their hearts had already decided it was time for something else, he thought as Louise admitted what she'd been thinking about the gallery. "I'm sorry" was what he actually said out loud "I know I haven't been there for you over the last few months as much as I should have...as much as I wanted to." If he'd been around to talk about it, maybe they could have figured all this out together rather than Louise needing to do it all on her own. Still, they were talking now, maybe that was enough.

"I do. Always." He knew Louise didn't lack confidence in herself, but sometimes it was nice to get confirmation from someone you loved. He wondered if he should say something more, to encourage her to apply for the position, but seeing as she wasn't even sure which subject to go for yet... "You'll probably think this sounds crazy, but qualifications aren't always the most important thing. Obviously, for the core classes and more advanced wand work, nobody's going to be employed unless they know what they're doing...actually no, forget I said that. I told you about some of the Defence teachers earlier... What I mean is, kids don't care what your qualifications are. They care about whether you can make a subject interesting and help them understand it, and whether you're going to notice them passing notes to each other under the desks...actually, forget I mentioned that last bit" he grinned. As much as Sam wanted to convince her to apply for a teaching position, he didn't ever want to be accused of not giving a balanced view of what life in the classroom was really like.

"I think you could do either. You'd really just need to have the first couple of weeks' lessons figure out to begin with." He was overlooking the fact that school was due to begin in a very short time. Still, Sam already knew exactly what he'd be teaching. He could always offer to help if necessary.

“Of course not,” Louise said. “But as long as you can give them a different perspective they might still figure out themselves what they want. Then again, we graduate at such a young age – the majority of students probably has no clue what they want to do with their lives.”

When Sam apologised, Louise looked at him thoughtfully. She had occasionally hoped that Sam felt sorry for neglecting her like he had done but now that they sat here together she didn't want him to feel guilty at all. It was not like he was avoiding her. He had a good reason to have little time for her these days.

“Don't be sorry,” she said, offering a little smile. “I'm not going to lie – it would have been nicer if you had had more time. However, that's life. It doesn't always go the way we want it. There's really no reason for you to feel bad about it.”

She laughed softly as Sam said that he always believed in her. “Well, of course, there are other things that matter as well. However, qualifications are needed all the same.” She did not comment on the passing of notes, she had done it herself and she figured should she really end up as a member of staff she could still ask for advice how to handle that.

“You might be right. I wish the classes were combined – like History of Magic and Muggles. As it is I guess I'm more tempted to go for history.” She paused and looked at him thoughtfully. “How would I go about applying? I'd send my resume with a proper application letter to professor McGonagall or…?”

Sam genuinely thought, right then, that Louise would be a great teacher. She would understand that the students were all individuals and while they needed to learn the spells and skills they needed to survive as adults, they also needed to be allowed to follow their own path. "You're right. I had no clue what I wanted to do what I graduated" he said "Mind you, I still don't feel like I'm an adult most of the time anyway..." Even though he spent his lfe teaching, Sam still felt the same inside as he had twenty years earlier. Maybe everyone did.

But there, the real thing they'd been avoiding was out in the open, and now they'd faced it, it didn't seem so difficult after all. "I do feel bad, though. I've been over it a thousand times in my head. What sort of person has a child they don't even know exists until she's ten years old? What sort of person did that make me, that I didn't know until she actually came looking for me?" What he really meant was, why had Enitan's mother never contacted him? They'd never exchanged surnames but  surely she could have found a way if she'd wanted to...did she think he would be a terrible father, or had she always meant to and circumstances had prevented it? These thoughts, illogical though they may have been, had haunted him for much of the past year. Strangely, he hadn't once wished that Enitan hadn't come into his life; once she'd turned up literally on his doorstep little parts of his life had made sense...he'd had odd melancholy feelings on the day that turned out to be her birthday, for example. "and I feel bad because of what it did to us. I wanted to put you first so many times but I can't, and I know you never had a choice about any of it, and I hate it because I love you both and I never want to let you down..."

The words spilled out all at once before Sam could consider the wisdom of them. Maybe this wasn't the time or the place, but they'd politely insisted that everything was fine for too long and he wanted to...well, be sure that everything really was okay. Particularly if any sort of life-changing decisions were being considered.

"Yeah, kids need balance. Don't we all" he laughed, but there wasn't much humour in his voice right now. It felt like he was saying all the right things, but his actions had fallen short. He didn't want to spoil the comfortable atmosphere, but those things had needed to be said.

"Hmm, I guess it could be interesting, but combining the two would probably be too much work for one professor" he said, thinking the matter over "besides, one subject is compulsory and the other is an elective, so that might be difficult to organise..." Also, Sam doubted changing the curriculum would be so easy, but he wasn't going to mention that. He didn't want to sound discouraging. "Yes, you'd send the letter to Minerva, and then she'd discuss it with the governors - I think they do it via owl mostly - and then you'd be invited to attend an interview. You'd be asked about your experience - they'll already know your qualifications from your resume - an example of how you would introduce a lesson, and probably something slightly strange to see how you'd react to an unexpectd situation..." Sam wanted to say he'd help with the letter, but he didn't want Louise to imagine he thought she couldn't manage it herself.

“Me either,” Louise agreed. “I went to work for the Ministry, after all. That should be proof enough that I didn't know what I was doing.” She laughed. It hadn't been a funny time for her then and even now when she thought about it it was awkward that she had actually worked for the Ministry. It was just so not like her to have such a job.

“How could you have known about Enitan?” Louise asked, feeling somewhat uncomfortable that the topic had shifted back to the child again. It was as though their moment together was coming to an end now that he brought the child up again. “You're not to blame and her mother might have had her reasons. You cannot change the past, no matter how much you'd like that. The only thing that we can do regarding the past for our present time is to learn from it. You have missed ten years of her life. I know you'll be there for her from now on and sure she feels safe with you because she can sense that you love her.”

Louise offered a small smile. Yes, the sudden appearance of the daughter Sam hadn't known about had changed everything between them. “Of course you can't.” Louise said in a toneless voice. She didn't want to discuss this again now. She understood why things had to be as they were now. She did not blame him for anything but that didn't mean that she liked the circumstances of their relationship now.

“Oh, I know. The school won't change the curriculum for a new and inexperienced teacher. That's not what I'd expect or even ask for. I just think that this would be even sensible in a different way – combining these classes and making the new class compulsory would mean that the students of Hogwarts would have a better understanding of the world they live in.” She sighed and smiled a little.

“I guess they'll only invite me for the interview if my application convinced them so far,” Louise teased. “This is scary somehow. It would be such a big change… but I actually think I might give it a try.”

When Louise laughed, Sam laughed along with her. "What did you actually do there? I don't think you ever actually told me which department you worked for...and I don't think I ever asked, either" he joked. Really it said a lot that neither of them had bothered to even think of her early career because it just wasn't interesting enough.

Certainly it was easier talking about things that were in the distant past than their recent relationship. He wasn't going to say anything more about it for now, he decided. He wasn't even sure what had made him spill out such an apology like that at a time like this. Not when he was thinking... Sam felt slightly nervous again and reminded himself that if the moment wasn't right, he could just wait for another day. "I know" he said simply. "Given that my entire career is based around seeing into the future, I of all people should know that it's not possible or even a good idea to change the past..." There, he'd managed to make it sound vaguely humorous, and now they were back to talking about Louise's plans.

"Actually, I think that's a pretty good idea. After all, I don't think there have been any new subjects for about eighty years. Maybe it's time for a change. Or at least, to make muggle studies compulsory again, only this time to make it an actual subject, not that travesty that was taught during..." he trailed off, shaking his head.

Sam was quite sure they would invite Louise for an interview. He didn't say as much, but if at this stage a subject wasn't already filled, the governors would invite anyone who sent in a decent application to come and talk with them - and Louise's was sure to be a good one. "I think you should. And I'm not just saying that because we'd get to see more of each other, I promise. I really do think you'd be good at it, and I think you'd enjoy it too. And...oh!' Sam's gaze had drifted across the arena just as a particularly loud cheer went up. It seemed that the caber tossing had reached the final stages. They'd talked through the whole event and not even realised.

“I was in the department for international magical cooperation. My mother pulled a few strings to get me in there and, for a ministry position, it was not bad. I got to travel and it was decent… just not my thing, really.”

She didn't want to discuss this now anyway. It had nothing to do with the question at hand – should she apply for the teaching position or not and if she did so how were her chances?

Sam's comment about seeing the future made her think about something again. They rarely discussed his ability and she suspected it was because of this one night in the common room a little more than twenty years ago when he had laid out cards for her.

“Sam, did you see me returning to Hogwarts? Or anything else about the future? I mean… I usually wouldn't ask but this is a pretty big decision. If you have seen anything, if you know anything, please, do tell me.”

It felt good that Sam agreed with her on the topic of Muggle Studies but as she was hardly in a position to influence the structures of the school, she dismissed the thought. Maybe, one day, the chance would come when she could actually address this with the right people.

She smiled and boxed his arm gently. “Are you sure?!?” She followed his gaze and shook her head in disbelief. “Oh wow, we've missed the entire competition?!” It was actually less of a question than a declaration.

“Well, then I'll write my application tonight?” She asked, sounding a little helpless. Really, she hadn't properly applied anywhere ever before and this seemed like a really big deal.

It was interesting that they had both travelled soon after leaving school. Sam wondered if they'd accidentally crossed paths over the years without realising - if you saw someone in a place you weren't expecting them to be it was quite likely one wouldn't recognise them, after all. He liked to imagine that perhaps they'd been in the same places, maybe a day or just a few hours apart...and perhaps had been at a previous highland games at the same time, but just attending different events...and fate had decided they weren't going to meet again until the time was right.

Yes, it was a ridiculous notion, but he liked to think of it sometimes. Sam liked the idea that everything happened at the right time, even though he knew life wasn't that simple. If it was, there wouldn't have been any war for a start... Okay, so perhaps it was just something that worked for romantic relationships... he was still vaguely thinking of this when Louise's question surprised him.

For once, he wished that he had had a vision so he could reassure her. It was so much easier to make an important decision if one already knew the outcome, and he supposed he could claim that he had seem something positive, but... he couldn't lie to her. Sam rarely lied to anyone, especially not those he loved, and he wasn't about to start now. "No, I haven't Seen anything. I would tell you if I had but...I guess it's one of those times when you'll need to trust that you stand a good chance of success. But if I DO See anything in the next few days, I promise I'll tell you right away."

"I'm sure...on both counts" he said, taking her hand as if to prevent her from causing his arm further damage, though he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it gently as he spoke "Do that. If you want me to read it through before you send it...or if you want me to come back to yours for a couple of hours, I will." He meant it, too. He doubted Enitan would be happy if Sam went somewhere without her, but she would have the rest of the family for company, and this was one time he felt Louise deserved to come first.

"Did you want to stay here and see what entertainment comes along next, or shall we take a walk out to the loch? It's not far and there's a beautiful view on a clear day like this" he suggested.

She sighed in response to him stating he hadn't had a vision. “Well, that's… inconvenient,” she joked. “What's the use of a relationship with an actual Seer if you do not see anything that helps me, huh?” she looked at him lovingly and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek as if to make up for her teasing comment.

“I'd hope so,” she said, now leaning against his shoulder. “It would be rather nice to work at the same place, wouldn't it?” she added dreamily. Sharing him with Enitan would be so much easier then. The girl would be in her dormitory and they could spend the evenings together when they were not on watch, patrolling the corridors.

She felt how a smile spread across her face when he took her hand and she wished they were elsewhere, somewhere where she could actually have him all to herself without anyone watching. “Thank you.” she said softly. “Your support makes me feel so confident about this. I really hope it works out. And, you know I always want you to come for a couple of hours or longer, but if it's tricky, I could also owl you my application… or do you think owling back and forth would take too much time?” She looked at Sam questioningly.

“Oh we can take a walk,” Louise agreed, the prospect of them being to themselves seemed quite alluring. She didn't mind other people but she only liked to be a part of a crowd for a limited time anyway. Besides the prospect of a beautiful view convinced the photographer in no time. She only wished now that she had brought her camera.

"I know...it must be really disappointing. It's a good thing I'm so handsome really" he replied with a grin. If Louise wanted to tease she should know he was going to give back just as well. Really though, he was just pleased that she was going to apply for a job at Hogwarts. Although he was not in the position of responsibility there he'd once held, he doubted whether the process of employing new staff had changed much and thus was sure Louise would have a good chance of being accepted.

"It would be great" he said "though we'll need to decide whether it people should know we're dating or if we should keep it secret. And I should also mention that if you keep a secret from students for longer than thirteen seconds, you'll have broken a new world record. I think there's a very special kind of magic that also vanishes along with the Trace, that allows teenagers to know just by looking at someone whether they're single, married, dating or anything in between." What Sam hadn't mentioned was that Enitan would likely have informed the entire train that her Dad was a professor before it had even left Kings' Cross...and that was another thought. Should Sam see her off at the station, take the Floo network up to Hogwarts and get there before her? Oh well, if that happened, she wouldn't even need to tell anyone they were related.

"No, I'll be there this evening, I promise" he said. After spending half the day climbing a mountain he doubted it would be difficult to get any of the kids to bed tonight. He rose to his feet and held out a hand to Louise. Now that the caber tossing had finished and the medals had been awarded - surprisingly, the short guy had taken second place - it would appear quite reasonable for them to be leaving. Knowing that Louise hadn't been here before, Sam led the way once they left the arena, bypassing the stalls that were now becoming quite crowded and taking them towards a track that led through woodland. Now, the sounds of the arena and of people chatting were fading into the distance and they could hear birds singing in the trees. Although it was only a couple of minutes' walk, any moment now the trees would open out to reveal the lochside and mountains in the distance. Sam had found this place yesterday and thought then how perfect it would be.

"Yeah, that's right, of course, and makes up for it at least a little." Louise said, grinning back at Sam. "However, looks aren't everything, you know." She knew that he knew. However, it felt nice to have such a light chat in between the serious topics they were covering today.

"I don't see why we should keep it a secret," Louise said earnestly. "It's not like it makes a difference when it comes to our jobs. Besides, as you say, we'll get more attention if we try to keep it a secret and they find out." She shrugged. "Unless you're not comfortable with it I'm all for behaving normally. However, before this really becomes a topic I need to apply for the job and actually get it." She found it flattering that Sam was so confident that she'd get the position but nothing was decided yet and she didn't want to make decisions before she had certainty that she'd really be at Hogwarts for the next term.

She smiled at Sam as he promised he'd be there this evening, thinking that, depending on how long he stayed, they'd get to do more than just write her application. "Thanks," she said. "It's been a while since you've been there."

Taking his hand, Louise got to her feet as well, walking next to him as he led them out of the arena and through the woodland. Louise let her gaze wander, taking in the beauty of the scenery, listening to the birds singing, and taking a deep breath of the fresh air. "It's really lovely here," Louise said appreciatively. And then they had reached the end of the woodland, only a few more trees were standing between them and the lochside. Louise walked slower now, enjoying how more and more of the lake came into view. "That's gorgeous," she said whispered, feeling that speaking loudly would ruin the peaceful setting they found themselves in.

Sam was glad she felt that way. He would have happily flown a banner from the top of Ravenclaw tower declaring his love for this woman, but hadn't been sure how she would feel about the inevitable first week when kids would whisper about them. From a student viewpoint of course, professors didn't exist outside of school and were probably stacked in closets at the end of term until the following year. Nothing else would account for the shocked expressions on any students' faces when they happened to see a teacher anywhere except at school. Of course when he'd been at Hogwarts Sam couldn't remember ever seeing a professor outside of school, unless he counted the time when he'd had a vision of the astronomy professor purchasing underpants and had been so appalled he had refused to touch his cards or drink tea for a fortnight.

"I suppose so..." he agreed, though despite any foresights Sam was quite certain Louise would get the position if she applied for it. "No secrets, then. I'm happy with that..."

Again he felt a little guilty about how long it had been since he'd found the time to visit Louise's home, but now wasn't the time. Besides, her comment wasn't meant to make him feel bad, and hopefully it would be a lot easier to see each other in the next few weeks. His mind was on other matters though as they left the arena. He'd been sure Louise would like the scenery, but it was good to hear her say so anyway. When the trees opened up and the lake finally came into view he smiled, and as they took in the scene he was standing just a little behind Louise, close enough that she could lean back against him. Sam wasn't surprised that his heart was pounding now as he put one hand into his pocket and pulled out a small box.

"It is..." he agreed, glad she was still looking across the loch to the mountains. It was quiet here, they were entirely alone. Now or never, he thought and almost hesitated, feeling unsure and vulnerable. "I wanted to ask you something...I've wanted to ask you for a while now, but..." no, that wasn't how he'd rehearsed it in his head. When he'd imagined this moment, he'd been confident and sure of what her answer would be, not quasi-apologetic. He took a deep breath, took a step sideways and took her hand so they were facing each other and then, ignoring the roughness of the stony ground, knelt in front of her. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it properly. Holding out the now opened box, he asked "Louise Ellington, will you marry me?"