[Rybinsk] Жизнь - это бой (Nastya)

15th September 2003

It had been a week since Aglaya had released herself from the hospital and, while she had hoped to feel better once she could sleep in her own bed again, she had had to realise that she really wasn't doing well at all. She had spent the first three days at home mostly asleep, her temperature too high for her to think clearly whenever she woke up for a brief moment. It felt like she was back to how she had felt a few days before leaving the hospital. The trip home and the stressful encounter with her mother had just been too much for her.

Even when her temperature went down a little so that she felt slightly more alive than she had before, she felt too sick and weak to really get out of her bed for more than a few minutes. Aglaya had no appetite yet and it was a struggle to eat at all. Alyona kept bringing her broth or vegetable soup, trying to make her eat but Aglaya barely managed a few spoons of soup before feeling sick. Since the poisoning her stomach was sensitively reacting to all kinds of nutrition. Two weeks after the incident at the flying school had happened she had reached a new stage of frustration. What if she would never feel well enough to get back onto her broom again?

Although her biggest fear was that she would not be able to compete again, Aglaya was also still haunted by nightmares of pralines and people wanting to kill her. She tried her best to dismiss any of these thoughts when she was awake but, as soon as she fell asleep, her subconsciousness seemed to remind her that she had only barely survived an assassination attempt. She didn't want to think about it though, not yet anyway. She simply didn't feel up to facing the fact that there was someone out there who wanted to see her dead.

Nastya's involvement in this didn't help her to relax either. Her sister was treating her quite kindly, even lovingly, but she wasn't sure if the younger athlete only did so because she was feeling guilty that she had accidentally assisted an assassination attempt.

What surprised her, was that her family did not actually address the matter in her presence. Nobody spoke to her about what had happened, nobody asked her if she had an idea who might have wanted to poison her. It was strange and disconcerting. Aglaya sometimes found herself wondering if her family knew things she didn't know or if they just maintained silence because they were quite pleased with how little information had got out so far. She had briefly considered another option – that they spared her because they thought she wasn't well enough yet – but Aglaya felt that this was rather unlikely. She wasn't usually treated with care. Yet, no matter what the reason was, it did not feel right to her. Nevertheless, Aglaya was not ready to bring the topic up herself. It was enough that she could hardly sleep an hour without being haunted by nightmares, she wasn't prepared to deal with these horrors when she was awake as well.

However, the better she got, the harder it became to ignore the fear that seemed to be building up more with every day now. She was alone with this though, feeling that she could not trust anyone at all. By now sudden noises made her startle and she sometimes didn't even dare to leave her bedroom, fearing that someone was waiting for her outside of it. The artistic flyer tried to be reasonable and reminded herself that nobody but her family could access the house without her permission as she had protected it with the Fidelius Charm a while ago. She had made her mother the secret keeper, seeing how Alyona was probably the toughest family member. She would not betray the secret, Aglaya told herself over and over again but there was still a hint of a doubt that made her feel uncomfortable at her well protected home.

She had just finished a letter to her distant cousin Zinaida and sent it off to Durmstrang when she heard a noise from downstairs. She felt how her heartbeat quickened as she grabbed her wand. Her mother had only left a little more than an hour ago. It was unlikely that she'd be back already now and her father was visiting less now that she was a little better and didn't need constant supervision. She took a deep breath as she slid off her bed and got onto her feet. She felt shaky but clenched her wand tightly, pointing it at the door, ready to stun any unwelcome intruder.

As the door swung open and her sister came into view, she let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, it's you,” Aglaya said, her voice trembling slightly. She stepped backwards until she reached her bed and sank down on it, taking a deep breath. Her heart was pounding and she tried her best to calm down. After all, she did not want Nastya to think that she was scared. She smiled slightly at her younger sister, trying to think of anything to say to distract from the fact that she had been on guard. “I didn't think you'd still come today. Mother said you were quite busy training.” Alyona had not really said that but it did sound like a thing their mother would say anyway and that was good enough for Aglaya now.

@Nastya Tikhomirova

One week on since Nastya attempted to catch up on a week’s worth of sleep in a day with her sister by her side, things for Anastasiya had, almost, returned to normal. After she had spent the night at Aglayka’s, and her mother had put the salve on for her sprained ankle, Nastya had returned to training first thing the next morning. Her mother had been uncharacteristically kind and the younger Tikhomirova sibling didn’t push it by taking any extra time off. Even though her ankle had still been slightly bruised and tender, the artistic flyer continued training as if the injury had never occurred, though she did not perform any complex jumps that day. Alyona had still been angry at her youngest daughter for aiding her elder sister to successfully escape hospital, and had refused to let Nastya see Aglayka for the first few days. For those days, when Nastya tried to sleep in the office, the nightmares that had plagued her the week prior immediately returned.

Nastya soon began pleading with her mother to let her visit her sister in her training breaks, just for a short while, and she was grateful when Alyona agreed. As soon as she got to see Aglaya on the fourth day of her being home, the nightmares that night instantly stopped. Nastya wondered if she was experiencing some weird kind of separation anxiety, and felt a little selfish because of it. After all, she knew deep down that her sister absolutely should have stayed in the hospital but she was so desperate for a decent night’s sleep that she only really thought about her own well-being and not Aglayka’s, and helped her against her best interest. Of course, Nastya wondered if Aglayka would have hated her even more than she probably already did if she had just taken her back to hospital. She feared that almost more than anything.

The very next day, Nastya took her pillows and blankets back to her own home, appeased by being able to see her sister alive with her own eyes, and with media presence slowly dying down outside the school. Training was easier again, and her coach could clearly see the change as he went back to shouting at her as usual.

That particular morning though, Nastya had woken up at around half past three in the morning, finished her reply to her distant cousin, Zhenya, and sent the letter off before having a quick buckwheat porridge for breakfast and heading to the artistic flying school for her morning lesson with her grandfather. They worked together on her technical exercise and Nastya smiled as Andrey Viktorovich yelled at her again, and again, and again. First, she was being lazy with her split jumps as they weren’t high enough. Then, she flapped her arms like a demented fwooper instead of a graceful artistic flyer. And, her very favourite; that he could do a better scorpion position in a spin than she. Despite such (borderline hurtful) criticisms thrown her way, Anastasiya listened and acted on them all without a fuss, pleased that at least something in her life had gone back to how things were before.

While more seniors and young childrens came into the school to do their respective group works, Nastya had worked by herself on some of the beams, focusing on developing her split jumps for a slowly-developing idea in her mind and also a backward walkover. The latter was not something she enjoyed, but figured that if her family would force her to do a back flip, that she should get as much preparation for it as possible.

By this time, it was just after mid-day and Nastya felt the rumble in her stomach. She had some group work to do at two in the afternoon, which gave her a solid hour or so to take a lunch break. Nastya was eager to see Aglayka, and this was an ideal opportunity. She could slip in and out and no one would be any wiser. She strolled into the office with her bag slung across her shoulder and spied the unstable stack of letters in her little cubby. None of them were actually for her though, they were all for Aglaya but Nastya had kept hiding them away so that she could give them to her sister personally for her to read. Grabbing the letters, Nastya stuffed them into her bag, padded by the thick blanket that she was bringing with her. She didn’t need the blanket much at the moment, and she wondered if the extraordinarily fluffy blanket would be something that Aglayka would like having with her while she recovered.

Her mother had allowed her to visit only on condition and strict instruction to make Aglaya eat something every time she visited. Anastasiya was being truthful in her reports to Alyona on what Aglaya had eaten, if she had at all, unable to lie on behalf of her sister to her mother any longer. The heavy guilt hanging around her was still crushing her whenever she thought about it, and she didn’t want to make the guilty feeling any stronger. However, Nastya figured that Aglaya would only eat a maximum of maybe three spoonfuls of anything she made… And since it was her lunch break, and she was hungry, Nastya figured she could make something that she actually wanted for lunch so that she could finish off the remainder without making it too obvious. A fresh smoothie sounded good, and was nutritious too.

She stepped out the school gates and immediately apparated to her elder sister’s home, re-adjusted the slightly heavier bag on her shoulder before climbing the stairs towards Aglaya’s bedroom. Gently opening the door and striding in, Nastya gasped as she gazed at a wand pointed right at her face. How charming, she thought, as her heart skipped a beat and calmed down as she dropped her bag down on the floor. “Sorry,” Nastya said with a small smile. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”

Crouching down to open the bag, Anastasiya began bundling all the letters up in her arms as Aglaya told her what their mother had said. “Oh, did she?” Nastya asked, hardly even surprised. “Typical.” She added a little aggressively, mad that Alyona was still somehow interfering without her even being there. “Unfortunately for her, I’m a human being and I’ve gotta eat at some point.” Nastya drawled sarcastically.

“Here, for you. Merry Christmas!” Nastya’s sarcasm grew thicker and more hostile as she dumped the pile of letters onto Aglaya’s bed. “Someone’s popular.” Nastya dropped down again to pull out her fluffy blanket, and hesitantly held it out for her sister to take as she stood back up with a meek smile. “And I, um. I thought maybe… you would like to have this with you? It’s really comfy.”

“No, it's okay,” Aglaya said, still sounding slightly shaken. “I was just...” her voice trailed off. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have greeted you with my wand raised. That was silly.” There was little conviction in her voice but even though Aglaya wasn't exactly compassionate, she realised that Nastya probably didn't appreciate this kind of greeting and she was at least grateful that her younger sister took the time to visit her and didn't want to drive her away entirely.

She would have never in her life guessed that it was nice to have Nastya around now. She didn't have to explain her current state to her, didn't have to talk much. Her sister was treating her kindly without being too considerate. That, at least, was Aglaya's perception. Not being good at understanding even her own feelings she usually failed to read other people.

As Nastya crouched down to open her bag, Aglaya felt slightly nervous. What was her sister up to now? Did she bring another box of pralines? No, that was ridiculous. The elder sister took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. Nastya had not poisoned her on purpose. It had only been an unfortunate accident. The younger sibling probably didn't feel good about this herself.

“Yeah, well, you know mother. I believe she just thought that I shouldn't wait for you in case you really couldn't find the time to visit.” She didn't want her sister to confront Alyona later and thus tried to justify the actions that her mother had not even really taken at all.

As Nastya spoke of food Aglaya frowned slightly. Did her sister come to visit her to eat or did she drop in on her way to some place where she wanted to have lunch? She felt sick just thinking about food. She swallowed hard. “Well, then...” she was just about to tell her sister that it would be fine if she left again to have lunch somewhere when Nastya dumped a pile of letters onto her bed, speaking in a tone that made the older sibling shudder.

“What's that?” she asked although she already knew the answer to her question. “So many letters arrived for me?” she said incredulously, hugging herself as she glanced at the pile, feeling uncomfortable. She could tell that her sister didn't like the attention she had got from some random strangers who seemed to have too much time for their own good. Truth be told, Aglaya felt quite awkward now, especially because she thought that her sister blamed her for being more popular but the older athlete had never asked for this kind of attention. She wasn't good at dealing with other people and having a pile of letters to read, knowing that at least half of the senders expected some sort of reply, made her feel sick. How could Nastya be envious of her now, in this situation?

Then her sister smiled at her again and offered her a blanket. Aglaya stared at the blanket for a moment, then looked up to make eye contact with her sister, really not understanding any of what was going on. She didn't know what to say or do. First her sister was hostile, now she was offering a blanket? This was confusing.

Figuring that her sister would probably feel affronted if she didn't take the blanket she reached for it. “Thanks,” she muttered, wanting to smile but her sister probably had to watch closely to register the slight hint of a smile that was all she actually managed.

“It's nicely fluffy,” she added, thinking that, maybe this would make up for the failed smile.

“Thanks for the visit,” she said. “Where were you intending to go for lunch?” Voicing this, Aglaya was surprised by the fact that a cold shiver ran down her spine. If her sister would leave her alone  with the letters now she wasn't sure what she'd do. The reigning European champion did not feel up to the task of reading any of these letters when she was on her own. “Or…” she asked, sounding uncharacteristically timidly, “were you going to stay here for a bit?”

“No, no, it is fine. Really!” Nastya insisted. “Not silly at all, I do understand.” Okay, so it wasn’t particularly pleasant to have the tip of a wand greeting her as she stepped through the door, but since Nastya herself realised her own behaviour while Aglaya had stayed in the hospital had been borderline paranoid and silly, she felt that it would be hypocritical to say Aglaya was being over-sensitive. In fact, Anastasiya would be (somewhat) happy to have Aglaya minorly threaten her with a wand aimed at her for the duration of her visit if it meant that Aglayka felt safe and that she could spend all the time with her sister as she could.

“Yeah… That sounds like her.” Nastya said sincerely, frowning slightly. She hated that her mother seemed to wish for her to spend as little time with her elder sister as possible, it didn’t make any sense to the younger sibling. “No point really confronting her about it either… She just talks over me anyway.” Nastya threw her hand up as she sighed. Their mother was really, really irritating.

Nastya stared at Aglayka for a few seconds, surprised that Aglaya was somehow incredulous that she had so many people who cared about her. Well, most probably cared about her career, but there were probably those among them who cared for Aglaya as a person too. It made Anastasiya soften her tone a little bit, feeling a little sorry for her sister and now a little guilty that she was sarcastic towards her. “Yeah… People like you, Aglayka.” Nastya offered, shrugging a little bit. “They obviously want to make sure you are okay.” She added, genuinely. Briefly, the younger artistic flyer wondered whether Aglaya would even want to answer them, whether she would be feeling up to writing so many. There were a lot of letters lying there on the bed, after all. Nastya chewed her lip, worried that her sister would be offended if she offered to help her with them. It wasn’t like she could spend all day with her, she had less than an hour left, probably, but she could still attempt to be useful to Aglaya. “I’m sorry for dumping this all on you,” Nastya began, feeling like maybe giving them all to her at once was a bad idea. “But... it was blocking my own cubby and I was running out of places to hide them.”

As Aglayka just stared at the blanket, Nastya panicked that her sister would refuse to take it. If she did, Nastya wondered if she’d be able to escape quickly before she burst into tears. Surely, refusing it would mean that her sister hated her guts, right? Aglaya caught eye contact and Nastya’s eyes widened a little bit as her brow furrowed before meekly breaking off the contact and glancing down at the floor instead, ready to retract the blanket in defeat.

However, her elder sister reached for it instead, and Nastya’s eyes snapped up and shone brightly as Anastasiya smiled, sighing a little in relief. “You’re welcome!” Nastya chirped, happy to receive any kind of recognition from her older sibling. “It really is,” she replied as Aglayka called the blanket fluffy. “It was the one thing that made living in the office kinda comfy. But, obviously I don’t need it right now.”

Nastya blinked in surprise that Aglaya was thanking her again. She was not used to such nice treatment from her and she felt that the thanks (while appreciated) was not necessary at all. “Oh… It is no trouble. I’m glad to get away from the school for a bit.” She replied with a half-smile. She was about to tell her sister that she was intending to stay right there and lunch with her and not waste a single second of her visit not being by her side, when Aglaya actually sounded as if she was trying to hint to her that she wanted Nastya to stay. Nastya opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out, stunned that she was actually wanted there.

“Well, I… I wanted to spend lunch with you, if that is okay?” Nastya asked, narrowing her eyes slightly. “I was going to make us both a smoothie and maybe…” Nastya hesitated, still wondering if Aglaya would be angry at the suggestion. “Maybe, I could help you with that pile of letters I’ve unloaded on you?”

Almost smiling Aglaya listened to her sister's reassurance that it was okay that she had had her wand out. If Nastya was in her place, Aglaya assumed her younger sibling would probably sleep with the wand below her pillow too. It really helped very little to know that the house was well protected when she just didn't feel safe at all.

Aglaya was relieved to hear that her sister would not confront their mother. While she thought that Nastya could oppose the family some more sometimes, she figured that in this case it would just backfire and she really didn't feel like entering a confrontation with Alyona who was quite good at verbal fights and surely superior now that she was still feeling so weak and tired herself.

“Yeah...” Aglaya said, eyeing the letters with visible discomfort. “I know there are people out there who like to watch me perform, who follow my career, and I truly appreciate it but they don't know me. They would not pay me any attention if I wasn't the most successful athlete in our sport. They like the champion Aglaya Tikhomirova. Once I stop being on top nobody will care about me any longer.” She took a deep breath and looked down. The closer the possible end of her career came the more scared was she that there'd be nothing left for her to live for, nobody left who'd admire her. She never thought that anyone actually really liked or even loved her for herself anyway. And how could they when she only saw herself as an artistic flying champion as well?

“It's fine. I cannot expect you to store these letters for...” well, what for? Aglaya wondered why her sister hadn't just thrown them into the nearest bin. Why did she bring her fan letters if she didn't like the idea of her being famous? As her thoughts went off on this tangent she forgot that she hadn't even finished her sentence.

It was nice to see that it apparently mattered to Nastya that she took the blanket and upon seeing her sister's happy reaction Aglaya gently placed the blanket on the other side of her on the bed. Actually she had been tempted to hide the letters by putting the blanket on them but she had a feeling that would not be well received.

“I still don't understand why you stayed at the office,” Aglaya muttered more to herself than to her sister. Her bed was the only comfort she had now. In fact, after having written the letter to Zina, greeting Nastya with her wand raised and now sitting on the bed rather than laying down she felt already a little tired again. However, she wasn't willing to let her sister see that.

It confused her that her sister looked like she was lost for words after she had hinted that she was happy to have her around for a while. It was not that Aglaya really felt so very close to Nastya now but anything was better than being alone with her thoughts or seeing someone who did not know what had happened and wanted answers to questions she didn't want to be asked.

“Yes, of course,” Aglaya said quietly in response to Nastya saying that she wanted to spend lunch with her. She did not want any food or the mentioned smoothie but she was not going to waste energy on fighting this idea right from the start. Maybe she could even take a sip or two before feeling too sick to continue. Yet, the mere thought of getting anything into her stomach made her swallow hard.

“You would do that?” she asked totally surprised when Nastya offered help with the letters. She had not expected that her sister would want to read through all these empty praises of her and meaningless get well wishes.

A small, barely recognisable smile spread across her face as she looked at Nastya. “I would like that very much,” she admitted. “I don't think I could or… would do it alone. Do you think they actually expect replies?” Aglaya asked anxiously.

“I’m not so sure that is true.” Nastya immediately rebuked Aglayka’s comments on the letters, saddened with how little regard Aglaya saw herself. Yes, it was true that most, if not all, of these fans knew very little about her beyond what was said in the papers, her press conferences and of course the programs she competed with, but fans could easily become invested in someone they felt a connection or kinship with. That was the beautiful thing about artistic flying, especially the free program. It gave the athletes an opportunity to connect to a crowd without ever meeting or saying a word. They were in a position to inspire and provide hope to some wizards and witches. It wouldn’t matter if they were successful or not, in some cases.

“People often become invested in the person behind the competitor,” Nastya began, trying to encourage her elder sister. “How you are seen in interviews and press conferences, it allows you to charm people beyond your performances.” She smiled sweetly, hoping Aglayka would believe her words. “I know lots of people will still love you whether you decide to retire, or continue competing successfully or unsuccessfully.” Nastya’s cheeks blushed a little and she avoided eye contact, as when she said ‘lots of people’ she was totally referring to herself. Anastasiya was trying to tell her sister how much she loved and supported her, no matter what she did, but she had never actually said ‘I love you’ directly to her sister. Love was hard to express sometimes, especially when their mother desperately tried to drum it out of her.

“I have some fans too, but I’m certainly not as successful as you, yet they remain loyal anyway. I think people will surprise you.” Nastya was being truthful, and she smiled sadly as she brushed her hair out of her eyes. She knew that she’d had an easier time figuring normal people out from being at Durmstrang and actually socialising with other wizarding folk. It was a significant advantage she had that Aglaya did not. On occasion, Nastya  felt like a chameleon, like she could fit the extent and type of her emotions (or indeed, lack thereof) to fit the situation. Okay, so the press had freaked her out, but she just chalked that up to being inexperienced. She was sure she’d get used to it eventually.

Aglaya’s sentence remained unfinished and Nastya frowned deeply. She hated unfinished sentences. It was hard to know what her sister was thinking without the verbal communication. However, it was definitely nice to know that Aglayka was okay with all the letters being there, and that she was not angry with her. This knowledge put Nastya more at ease and less defensive than when she had arrived, as she leaned up against the bed comfortably. In fact, she felt rather silly now for being so worried. The blanket had been placed on the other side of the bed, meaning that Aglayka was definitely keeping it, which made Nastya smile to herself. She would miss it, but since it was still September, there was no need for such a warm blanket yet. The covers would be enough.

Even though Nastya knew Aglaya had intended to mutter to herself, she still managed to pick up on her comment about her brief stay in the office. Anastasiya sighed, shaking her head slightly, knowing that her sister would probably never understand. In fairness, even she was embarrassed by her behaviour. It had made perfect sense to Nastya at the time, in the not-so-great state she’d been in. Looking back on it, however, not so much. She really did need to learn how to deal with the press better. “I guess, I’m just not as experienced at knowing what to do with overly inquisitive and slightly aggressive reporters. I did what I felt I needed to feel safe.” Nastya quietly offered in reply, figuring that Aglayka could actually appreciate such a reasoning at that moment.

“Good.” Nastya let out a sigh of relief as Aglayka seemed happy for her to stay for lunch. It was exceedingly pleasant to not be turned away, as Nastya preferred her elder sister’s company much more than anyone else’s. Anastasiya decided that she would probably only make one smoothie though, knowing Aglaya would not want to stomach much of it, and it would be such a waste if she made two.

Aglaya seemed surprised by her willingness to help, and the younger sister didn’t know whether to be ashamed or offended. For the majority of her life, Nastya felt that she had been deliberately kept apart from her sister, and it was hardly her fault that any interactions they had ended up so often antagonistic in nature. Naively, she wished their relationship could have consisted of more moments like this. Just chilling out in one another’s home, no taunts and no expectations. Sometimes, Nastya felt obligated by her guilt to help Aglaya because of her accidentally aiding in her poisoning, but she did genuinely want to spend time with Aglayka now, even if that meant doing things she’d rather not do. The compromise was worth it, in her eyes. Anastasiya loved her very much indeed, though she didn’t know how to say it or really show it either. Hopefully, this was a good start. “Of course, there’s no way I’d let you go through these by yourself.” She smiled, gesturing to the letters. “I don’t mind.”

Nastya beamed as Aglayka reiterated that she wanted her younger sister’s company. It meant a lot to her. A heck of a lot. “I guess so,” Nastya replied with a shrug, as Aglayka asked if all the people would want replies. There were some that could be ignored, like simple cards, but the nice and well-constructed letters most definitely needed a response for the sake of politeness. “Some we can ignore… but I can always help you out with what to say if you need it.” Nastya explained, standing straighter again and no longer leaning on the bed as she began to step away. Though she could help with replies, in the end, Aglayka would have to be the one writing them. “Tell you what,” Nastya began as she headed for the door, “I’ll quickly sort these into two piles; cards and actual letters, and you can get started while I pop to the kitchen and whip up the smoothie for us.”

She slowly removed her wand from her pocket, so as not to alarm Aglaya, and carefully levitated the cards and the letters into two distinctive piles on opposite sides of her sister’s bed. Once she did, she quickly replaced her wand in her pocket, smiled in satisfaction at the piles, meekly smiling at Aglaya before ducking her head and heading out the room for the kitchen.

Sometimes Aglaya really didn't get her sister. She looked at Nastya as she said some nice and supportive things, wondering why on earth she would say that at all. Was she just trying to make her feel better because she was still in a rather pitiful state? Well, that seemed to be an explanation at least. She could not mean the things she said, after all.

“Well, I admit that I have fans who follow my career but...” her voice trailed off. It felt too tiring to try and explain her thoughts. Nastya would not accept any of that. Her sister had a tendency to be overly naive. Aglaya had enjoyed her fame for a while as well and had not thought about its momentariness. However, she was reaching an age that meant that she had was in the last quarter or so of her active career. Furthermore her current condition made her doubt that she could actually compete again at all. Maybe it was all over already.

“You'll see, soon enough nobody will remember who I am,” Aglaya muttered bitterly, avoiding her sister's gaze. She wasn't sure why she shared these thoughts with Nastya now. Her sister would not understand and they weren't all that close anyway. Then again, there was probably nobody she was actually close to and thus nobody to confide in. The realisation made her shudder.

Nastya said that people would surprise her and, again, Aglaya felt that if anyone would be surprised it would rather be Nastya than her. She knew that not all people were kind and generous. There were many out there that did begrudge her success. For some reason Aglaya did not feel like sharing her thoughts with her younger sibling now. Maybe it was because she just still felt too weak and tired for long and draining conversations or maybe she just wanted her sister to keep faith. She didn't really know which was the real reason herself.

Aglaya looked at her sister as she gave an explanation why she had stayed at the office. “I see,” she responded, not wanting to judge her sister for avoiding the press but still feeling that she had been unreasonable. “Well, I guess they got overly inquisitive and aggressive because nobody gave them any kind of information,” she muttered, frowning slightly. Usually their mother as well as Andrey and Aleksandra were rather good at dealing with the press. Why hadn't they just given them something, even if not the exact truth, just to keep the reporters at bay?

“Thanks,” Aglaya whispered as her sister said that there was no way she'd let her go through all the letters by herself. It was odd how many times she was thanking her little sister now. She did not usually do that and she assumed that Nastya found that rather strange as well. However, in her current state, Aglaya, who usually dealt with everything on her own, needed help. She knew she could not handle the fan mail by herself. She knew she needed someone to look after her, too, and it was a scary thought. Having to depend on others felt like showing weakness, like being weaker than others. She couldn't help it though, not yet anyway. Hopefully she'd recover soon though so that things would go back to normal and that she'd feel strong and confident again.

She took a deep breath as Nastya confirmed that most people who had written to her expected replies. “I cannot possibly write all these people,” she said, her voice trembling slightly. “I mean, I did not ask them to write to me. They cannot seriously expect me to respond to their letters.” She wanted to add that she had no time for this but given her current situation she knew that wasn't a valid excuse. She did have time now. After all, she was not yet feeling well enough to even go for a little walk.

Nastya sorted the letters into two piles of cards and actual letters. She had also voiced making a smoothie and Aglaya was about to tell her that she had actually already had some broth their mother had brought her when her younger sibling had already left the room, leaving her with the two piles of fan mail.

She sighed deeply and made herself comfortable on the bed instead of just sitting on the edge of the mattress. She picked up a card first. There was little text on it but some get well wishes scribbled down by a child by the looks of the handwriting. She put the card away and decided to read a letter next.

The letter was long, neatly written but quite repetitive in its compliments and get well wishes. Apparently this fan had been to Leknes to watch the free program and had a lot of feelings to share on the expressiveness of Aglaya's free program. What would usually have felt appropriate and flattering made her feel a little awkward now. Would she ever be able to compete at such a level again? She held the letter in her hand now but didn't even finish reading it as her thoughts drifted back to the European championships that now felt like they had been ages ago.

Nastya smiled to herself, pleased by Aglaya’s half-agreement. It was, at least, a decent concession coming from her older sister. “You see?!” Nastya encouraged her further, smiling at Aglaya. “And your fans… they have stuck by you through hard times before, have they not?” Nastya asked, hoping that she could really make Aglayka feel a little more comfortable and confident about her fans and their support. She understood what her sister was feeling, she really did, the vulnerability Aglayka was forced to be in at that moment was unnatural for her and Anastasiya was trying her hardest to be the best support she could be.

Anastasiya felt her face mold into a scowl by habit, and she immediately forced herself to adopt a more neutral expression that didn’t betray her anger. She wasn’t going to let Aglayka have a pity party for herself. No. She wouldn’t stand for it. “No.” Nastya said sternly. “Don’t be stupid.” She added, shaking her head at the situation. This was all so wrong. “You’ve made history in artistic flying more than once. You can’t be forgotten. And you won’t be.” The younger of the Tikhomirova siblings spoke truthfully, as she knew that she certainly wouldn’t forget about the contributions her older sister had made to the sport in a hurry. Those records and history-making programs that Aglayka had done, they had caused so much grief for her, her own career constantly being overshadowed. If anyone would be forgotten in time, it was much more likely to be Anastasiya Tikhomirova. People would only remember Aglaya. Despite these envious feelings inappropriately bubbling up to the surface, Nastya desperately wanted to hug her elder sister, rub her arm, anything that could physically display her affection. She stayed where she was, however, barely twitching her fingers in response, thinking that such loving displays wouldn’t be well received by Aglaya. “Seriously. You won’t even give them time to forget about you, this is just a setback. Nothing more.”

Nastya breathed a puff of air out through her nose as Aglayka brought up the severe lack of information that had been circulating about what had happened. “Yeah, well, you can blame mother for that.” Nastya bitterly replied with a toss of her head. “She made me swear not to say anything about it to anyone. Not that I really wanted to…” The artistic flyer did not know whether keeping things quiet was a good thing or a bad thing but Alyona was not one to be trifled with unless it was a complete emergency. Nastya had always tried to do as she was told, so that she could receive some positive attention from them instead of being shut out and excluded or ignored. With this horrible situation though, being obedient was the hardest task in the World.

“You’re welcome,” Nastya quietly offered, grabbing her own upper arm and stroking it slightly as she felt a little awkward. Throughout the years, Aglayka had spent so much of her time trying to rile her up that being thanked felt rather unnatural. It was super nice though, and she wished that it could be a more common occurrence in the future. That the two of them could be actual sisters instead of just bitter rivals.

Nastya frowned, worried by how seriously Aglayka was taking these letters. What was even more concerning was how unnerved her elder sister seemed by them too. If it was her, she’d be so happy to have all these letters gushing with compliments and adoration for her. She really didn't think it was such a big deal, but she didn’t want to say that out loud. “Well, you don’t have to reply to them all today. Nobody would expect that of you.” Nastya soothed, smiling kindly in an attempt to appease Aglaya. “You can just do a few at a time, maybe three or four a day or something.” She shrugged, looking over at the pile of letters again. “And, you won’t have to reply to them all. Of course, I can always help out when I’m around.” Nastya thought that if their roles were reversed that she wouldn’t want Aglayka’s help. She would be so grateful for the letters and instead of not wanting to answer them, she’d be eager to read all the encouragement and well wishes and that replying would be a perfect distraction while she waited for her body to heal. But, it seemed that the two sisters were very different people.

The kitchen was infinitely more familiar to her now than when she had first entered there when she (quite literally) crashed at her sister’s for the night. Considering that at the moment the person who lived there ate little more than a few bites, Nastya was quite surprised at how well-stocked the place was. Her gaze landed on some chilled broth that their mother had obviously brought over earlier in the day. Nastya couldn’t train on just wishy-washy broth though, so she was resolved to continue in her smoothie making. Aglayka could probably have the broth for dinner as Alyona was sure to check in with her by the end of the day.

Nastya began gently pressing the fruit in the bowl, browsing through the selection and trying to pick the most nutrient dense fruits. If her sister was only going to have one bite, then she was going to make sure that she could pack as much nutrition into one mouthful as she could. As she began chopping up the fruit, Anastasiya’s mind wandered. It seemed she and Aglayka were on pleasant terms, so perhaps it was a good time to finish what they begun talking about at the open day. Nastya was desperate to begin negotiating with Veronika about the possibility of being coached by her, but it felt vital to approach the subject with Aglayka first and ask for her blessing. Perhaps it would even distract her sister from the smoothie so that she would drink more of it?

She started throwing in blueberries, apple chunks, pineapple, strawberries, half a banana and a dash of milk, a little more aggressively with each fruit as she realised that maybe this wasn’t an appropriate time and that she could make things worse. Nastya poured out the blended mix into one glass, filled up to the max so much that it was threatening to spill over the edge. There was no way she was going to carry that. Removing her wand, Nastya quickly waved it. “Wingardium leviosa.”

Nastya hip-checked the door to re-enter Aglaya’s bedroom, eying the letter in her sister’s hands with suspicion. “Here we are,” Nastya announced as the smoothie floated in between them. “Nice letter?” She asked, feeling like Aglaya hadn’t even read it from the way she wasn’t even looking at it. Taking the smoothie from mid-air, and holding it out to her sister, Nastya tried to put on her more supportive and encouraging smile. “Take a sip? Just one, that’s all I ask.” Nastya murmured, hoping that she would be successful. “I promised Mama I would try whenever I visited… I won’t lie to her. Not again.” Anastasiya ducked her head a little, frowning as she felt her ears ringing again from the telling-off she’d received from Alyona after she’d spent the night with Aglayka. “Please?”

She took the other side of the bed, scooping up a card and opening it to see the terrible drawings of a young child, gasping as she realised it was from one of their extended family members. It was nice to see them sending things in. The bonus, Nastya thought, was that they wouldn’t even need a personal reply from Aglayka, as she could thank them on her sister’s behalf in person. “Well, this is one you don’t need to reply to.” Nastya told Aglayka cheerfully, as she created a little ‘do not reply’ pile of her own. Hopefully, they could whittle down some of the letters and cards to make the pile of replies a little less intimidating for Aglaya.

Anastasiya scrunched her face up immediately as she read the front of the envelope of another letter but this was clearly written in… what seemed like French. Well, this was awkward. “Oh, um… Aglayka?” Nastya called for her sister’s attention as she waved the letter slightly. “This is… not in Russian. I can’t read it. Sorry.” Nastya held the letter out in front of Aglayka so that she could read the envelope and see whether she could read it or not too.

Aglaya did not comment on Nastya's statement that her fans had stuck by her through hard times before, feeling that she had never gone through such hard times before. Of course, now that her sister mentioned it, the weeks following the world championships in 2000 had been a challenge as well but back then Aglaya had felt sure that she'd be able to compete again. Most of her other crises over the past years had not been out in the open, not even her own sister knew about her struggles with the stalker, after all. Without any doubt the situation now was different and worse than anything she had experienced before.

“Yeah,” Aglaya said bitterly, “my name and the titles will be remembered, maybe.” She had a lot more to add to this but didn't say any more. Her sister was trying to cheer her up and it was unfair to dump all her negative feelings on her. After all, it was probably not easy for Nastya to admit that she was the most successful athlete in their sport anyway.

Nastya said that it was just a setback and Aglaya looked at her sister with a sad smile. “Do you really think so? You don't believe that that's it?” She turned her gaze down again now, not really even wanting to get a response to her questions. “Never mind,” she added quickly. “You're probably right. It's just a phase and...” her voice trailed off as she couldn't bring herself to saying that things would get better in time.

Aglaya bit her lip, trying to stop herself from commenting what Nastya said about their mother and the way the family handled the press in this situation. She'd have done it differently but then again she didn't really know what had gone on during the time she had been in hospital. Maybe there was some sense in the way Alyona had handled the situation.

It was very kind of Nastya to try and soothe her and offer her help with the letters but Aglaya had a pretty bad feeling when she glanced at the pile again. While she did feel a little awkward to be reading questions about what had happened, countless get well wishes and compliments on her recent performance at the European championships there was something else that worried her but that she didn't really want to think about – what if there was another letter from her stalker in this pile? It was possible, after all. She tried to dismiss this thought, almost looking forward to meaningless get well wishes now.

Nastya went into the kitchen and soon returned with a glass filled with a smoothie. Aglaya half hoped that her sister would spare her to have a sip but she knew that this was not going to happen. “Huh?” she asked as Nastya mentioned the letter she was holding. “Oh, yeah, I guess...” she shrugged a little helplessly.

“Nastyusha, please...” Aglaya sighed. She knew she would have to try it in the end, no matter if she protested or not. She put the letter down and hesitantly reached for the glass. She lifted the glass to her lips, taking a small sip. She could not really say if she liked the taste of it or not. It didn't seem to matter anyway. Knowing that the little sip was hardly going to please her sister, she went for another bigger one, afraid of what it would do to her. Then she put the glass down on the bedside table.

“That's good,” Aglaya said relieved as Nastya mentioned that she would not have to reply to the card she was holding. She clearly hoped that they'd find a lot more mail of this kind. However, the next thing that Nastya came across was apparently a letter in a foreign language. Aglaya reached for it and nodded. “It's French,” she said as she opened the envelope and unfolded the letter.

Dear Miss Tikhomirova,

I saw an article in the Prophet Parisienne about your performance at the European championships in Norway last month and I wanted to write and say how amazing I think you are. I've loved artistic flying since I was 11, though I've only ever seen one performance – you and your sister did a display in the Netherlands three years ago and my sister and I got tickets. Most of the time I just get to see the pictures of your performances in the magazines I subscribe to.

I read that you started training before you could walk, is that true? It must be amazing to do those backflips and have the crowd applaud you like that. I just got made Captain of my house Quidditch team but I know that's nothing like as skilled as what you do, even if our seeker did make some pretty artistic catches last year!

Do you know if the championships are ever be held in France or the Netherlands? I'd love to see you fly again. I hope you can read this okay, I couldn't find anyone who spoke Russian to translate it for me and sixth years have only just begun learning translation charms on single words, so I had to write in French.

Yours sincerely,

@Lijsbeth Westbroek,
Bellefeuille house
Beauxbatons Academy.

It took her a bit to read the letter. While Aglaya knew French well enough to get along when she was in France, she was not exactly fluent in the language. “This is from a student from Beauxbatons who is the captain of her house's Quidditch team,” she explained, picking out the part that was not about her to share with her sister. “She saw both of us perform in the Netherlands a few years ago and asks if there'll ever be championships in France or the Netherlands,” she added. “I guess this requires a reply?!” She questioningly looked at Nastya. Did her sister also receive such letters? If she did, did she enjoy them? Aglaya got the impression that she probably did. Truth be told, this letter was quite a pleasant one anyway, given that the girl did not seem to know about the poisoning or had written the letter before it had been made public. It seemed like one that was easy enough to reply to and Aglaya put it onto her bedside table next to the glass, intending to collect those letters there that she might feel up to answer.

“They shall,” Nastya stated. She could feel Aglayka was still unconvinced which bothered her. She tried her best to put her own thoughts and feelings aside and put herself in Aglaya’s shoes to try and understand what her sister was feeling. Perhaps Aglaya was just tired of being cooped up indoors? Or perhaps it was just that being unable to fly and train was a little bit difficult to cope with? Nastya could definitely understand that, if that was the case.

As Aglaya began questioning whether the situation really was just a setback, Nastya’s brow furrowed and wrinkles made themselves visible. Her elder sister’s reaction worried her even further for two reasons; one of which even she knew was rather selfish and didn’t want to admit to. “No!” Nastya cried, her hand flapping about to accentuate her words. “As long as you want to continue, then I know you’ll be able to.” She hoped that Aglayka could hear how much she meant those words. “It’ll take time and it won’t be easy, of course. But I know that I’ll be competing against you again by the end of the season, without a doubt.”

She was trying really hard to be positive, not only to raise her sister’s spirits, but also her own. It felt as though she was convincing herself that everything would be fine more than anything. Nastya needed Aglaya to compete again for her own selfish reasons. How was she supposed to beat Aglayka if she quit? Nastya didn’t want to end up just being a champion simply because no one else could challenge her. She wanted actual competition, and for that… Nastya needed Aglayka.

Half-smiling, feeling like Aglyaka had confirmed that she definitely hadn’t properly read the letter. Let it slide though. Nastya prayed that convincing her sister to have some smoothie would be easy, though it probably wasn’t her favourite thing in the world at that moment. The younger sister refused to get in trouble on Aglaya’s behalf again though. Aglayka sighed in protest, and Nastya responded by sternly looking down at her. She would do everything in her power to not court a third tongue-lashing from her mother again. She watched as her sister took the tiniest of sips, folding her arms with an exasperated look. Nastya relaxed as soon as she took a second, bigger sip and allowed herself a satisfied smile. She was even more pleased that Aglayka put the glass down by the bedside instead of handing it straight back to her. She remained hopeful that perhaps a third sip before she left could happen. “Thank you,” Nastya offered as reward for Aglayka doing as she was told.

It was Nastya’s turn to sigh, this time in relief, as Aglaya took the letter from her. As her elder sister confirmed it was French, Nastya smugly smiled to herself, pleased that she had recognised the language. As the elder read the French letter, Anastasiya opened a letter that was clearly in Russian. It was from one of the younger students they had at the artistic flying school, though it seemed that the whole family seemed to have added their well wishes as she saw at least three different types of handwriting. It made her smile throughout the entire letter, and it was one that was definitely worthy of a reply. She gingerly placed it in her lap so that she could give all the ones that needed replies to Aglaya when she was done. She was just about to pick up another letter when Aglaya addressed her.

Beauxbatons! Nastya gasped in delight as Aglaya told her of the letter’s contents. It was so nice to know that even quidditch players appreciated the beauty of their sport now. Briefly, she wondered how many French artistic flyers there were now. “Oh wow!” Nastya replied, lightly clapping her hands for a split second. “I certainly hope we get a chance to compete in France. I’d love to explore their cities and towns, and maybe we could meet that nice witch. You have to reply to that! She sounds so nice!” Nastya gushed, thinking it was such a pleasure and so sweet to have reached people from all across the world.

Picking up the letter she had aimed for before Aglayka distracted her, Nastya’s eyebrows raised as she could have sworn that letter was not in Russian but the words blurred slightly before she began reading and suddenly perfect Russian appeared. It was likely a translation charm, Nastya supposed, and a twinge of jealousy bubbled up as she felt envious of the charm talent of the writer of the letter.

Dear Mademoiselle Tikhomirova,

I am sure that my letter is just one of many from concerned fans of both the sport and you as an athlete and person, but I hope that my well-wishes will still reach you nonetheless. For many years while I was still at Beauxbatons school I have followed your career with admiration for your courage and beautiful artistry, and even picked up an artistic flying broom myself through being so inspired by you.

It has been such a privilege to grow up watching you conquer the artistic flying world with such grace and poise, and see what an amazing person you have become, which is why I was so very deeply saddened and shocked when I heard the news about your poisoning.

I really hope that you are alright, and that you can make a speedy recovery to return to full health. Also, I hope that your family and sister are okay too, this cannot have been easy for them either. Hopefully, your situation is not so bad that you are in any pain, but if you are, then I truly hope the pain eases as swiftly as possible. Of course, I wish to see you fly again as soon as I can, but from the bottom of my heart, I hope that you will be happy and untroubled.

Wishing you well,
Sabrina Sasseville

It was from another Beauxbatons graduate it seemed. Perhaps, this was proof that artistic flying was becoming a bigger thing in France. If that was indeed the case, then Nastya was supremely excited. She wanted to reach out and touch as many people across the wizarding world as possible. She almost forgot that the letter wasn’t even for her as she smiled before coughing slightly to get Aglayka’s attention.

“This is another French witch! Such a charming letter too. Apparently you even inspired her to pick up an artistic flying broom of her own!” Nastya exclaimed, beaming from ear to ear. Ordinarily, having to say such a thing out loud would have made her extremely irritable and angry and her tone would have been full of malice and spite. There was no trace of false niceness as Nastya said it this time though, for reasons even she did not understand. “She wishes you a speedy recovery, of course. But, oh, this is very eloquent. She calls you graceful and poised and everything!” Nastya added, realising how interesting it was to see her sister through a complete stranger’s eyes.

Aglaya wasn't sure from where Nastya took her confidence. She looked at her sister, feeling that she did not fully comprehend the situation; did not see that Aglaya had never been in a worse state physically, that she was not a young athlete anymore who could sit out a season and come back with new energy the next. She wondered if her sister had ever really tried to understand what had happened on the open day. Someone out there had wanted to poison her, after all.

She wasn't sure why she did not respond to Nastya's statement that it would take time and wouldn't be easy to get back. Maybe it was because Aglaya felt that at least one of them should stay positive if she couldn't do so herself. It was somehow touching that the younger Tikhomirova didn't seem to lose faith just yet. Then again, why did Nastya want her back anyway? Soon enough there'd be new young athletes challenging her. She wasn't needed anymore or was she?

It felt like being belittled when Nastya thanked her for having a sip of the smoothie. Aglaya frowned ever so slightly but lacked the energy to confront her younger sibling. She wondered if she should try for another sip. Truth be told, she did not feel like it and her stomach felt as though it was burning anyway but Aglaya also knew that she needed to regain her strength and that was hardly possible if she refused to eat and drink. Therefore, she lifted the glass to her lips once more and took another medium sized sip. Then she put it back down again. “Happy now? I won't have any more of it,” she said coolly, feeling like she was being a little unfair to her sister but at the same time unable to stop herself from making a comment.

It was typical that Nastya got excited over the French letter from a Beauxbatons student without having been able to read it herself. Aglaya did think that the girl had written a kind letter and it was probably one she'd put on the pile to answer but she still could not quite understand her sister's excitement.

As if the situation of going through fan letters with her sister and rival wasn't weird enough already, Nastya now also smiled widely at her and recited nice passages from a letter, stating things she thought she'd never hear her sister say about her, no matter if they were her own words or those of a stranger. Aglaya looked at Nastya incredulously, lost for anything sensible to say. “That's… nice,” she muttered and tried to smile a little. “I guess that's a letter for the pile that need an answer then?” she asked, trying to sound as though she was teasing but the prospect of another reply that she'd have to write weighed heavily on her.

There was still the letter, that she hadn't properly read, laying in front of her, half hidden by the blanket Nastya had brought, but Aglaya couldn't say that she was motivated to finish reading it now and, therefore, reached for different letter from the pile.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the familiar handwriting. Her pale face turned white as a sheet and with trembling hands she opened the envelope. A photo fell out of it and into her lap – a photo of her, unconscious in the hospital. For an instant the artistic flying champion held her breath and just stared at the photo. She looked awful in it. Aglaya briefly glanced at Nastya, relieved that she was busy reading a letter at this moment. She closed her eyes for an instant, trying to pluck up courage to read the letter.

With trembling hands she unfolded the parchment. Her heartbeat quickened and her mouth suddenly felt exceptionally dry. She didn't even consider the possibility of not reading it although she was terrified to see what it would say.

Aglayechka my sweetest darling,

Did you miss me yet?

I didn't think I'd get a chance to write to you again as you weren't meant to survive the open day. The last few months I've spent many hours developing my plan, encouraged by every time I saw you from afar.

I've worked out everything perfectly for the annual open day. It was the perfect setting, don't you agree? I must admit that I was a little disappointed that you didn't die in front of the crowd present in the arena. Just imagine the beauty of the scene. It would have suited you so well. You know I admire your dramatic expression on the broom, my sweetheart.

I've come to terms with you still being alive though. Going quietly just wouldn’t have been your style. You need a big audience that's worthy of you, don't you think?

The fact that you've survived gives me more opportunities to admire you, to play with you. You can rest assured that I still have some surprises in store for you. I'll make you suffer and it satisfies me immensely when you are suffering. Just like it satisfied me to see you unconsciously in hospital. I could already have finished you there, put you out of your misery, but you were so beautiful laying there, your pale face framed by vibrant red hair… It reminded me so much of the world championships in Växjo. Finally I got the chance to run my fingers through your curls again. I couldn't let you go yet. I will always adore you, my dearest.

I understand you don't requite my love so I will give anything to get your full attention now. What I have done so far was only the beginning. Be prepared to go through hell and know in your heart that it's what you deserve for all the times you've turned your back on me. I assure you that I'll enjoy witnessing every single moment of it. In the end you'll love me for whatever I do to end your misery.

Till death do us part.

As she finished reading, she was shaking. Quickly she folded the letter and, with trembling hands, she shoved it between the mattress and the wooden frame of her bed. This was nothing she wanted her sister to see. Nobody should ever see it. She felt strangely ashamed of herself that someone would do this to her. She was weak, a puppet to a psychotic stranger. He had been at the hospital, in her room. He had touched her. Aglaya felt sick now. She choked.

She covered her mouth with her hand and slid off her bed, stumbling towards the bathroom. On her way she hit the door frame with her shoulder but wasn't even aware of it. As she reached the toilet, she sank down on her knees, throwing up. She was bathed in cold sweat now, her pulse was rapid and she was panting as she leaned back against the bathtub.

Somehow time seemed to stand still. Aglaya had no desire to move or do anything. In fact, she felt just numb now. The letter confirmed what she had known all along, her stalker had been the one to poison her. He was behind it all.

Aglaya lifted up the glass containing the smoothie she’d made for a third sip, and Nastya beamed brightly, very happy to have succeeded in her task. It was nice to know she’d be able to report back to their mother with some good news. Nastya really hoped that Alyona would be pleased and allow her to keep visiting Aglayka as she continued to recover. “Very happy, thanks.” Nastya stated proudly, with a smirk and a quick nod. She knew too well not to push her sister any further. Three sips was more than she was expecting anyway, so Anastasiya had no reason to be the antagonist.

She smiled as Aglayka seemed… well, Nastya wasn’t sure how to describe it, but it was like her sister was almost lost for words as she paused in her reply about the beautiful letter. The ghost of a smile on her elder sister’s face was encouraging, though Nastya was unsure as to why Aglayka was so hesitant. Perhaps she found the situation of reading fan letters with her biggest rival as odd as she did? Nastya wasn’t in any hurry to comment on that though, she didn’t want to ruin things and make it awkward. It sounded as though Aglaya was teasing her about her positive reaction to the letter, and Nastya half-laughed in response. “Of course, it is!” She chuckled, running a hand through her hair.

Aglaya soon moved on to another letter though and so, Nastya went to do the same. She scooped up a small and succinct letter from a Russian fan. It was rather generic and bland as far as fan letters and get well soon wishes went, but the sentiment was still nice and Nastya appreciated how much people cared regardless. Scrunching her nose as she thought, Nastya tapped the letter against her hand, wondering if it really needed a reply. It was small, so maybe just a quick thank you would suffice, but at the same time, she didn’t want to make the pile too scary, especially since Aglaya seemed so hesitant about writing replies for some reason.

Without even looking at the pile, Nastya picked up another card, and had just opened it and pulled it out when a funny noise, almost like someone choking, came from beside her. Instantly Anastasiya looked up and dropped the card onto the floor, stunned and unable to react or move properly. She watched with glazed eyes as Aglayka slid off the bed and headed to what was likely going to be the bathroom. Her sister was probably going to be sick. Nastya sat there for a few moments, as her thought processes returned to her. Her heartbeat quickened slightly as she could feel the panic setting in, but she took a deep breath and tried to react as her mother would. Instantly, after having years of rehearsal, Nastya calmed down. It still concerned her how sudden her sister’s reaction was. If she had felt sick before from the smoothie, then she was sure that Aglaya would have said so. Was it the smoothie, though? Did she push her too much? Nastya chewed her lip guilty, feeling like every time she tried to help all she did was make things worse.

Something was off, and suspicious to Nastya, though. Vaguely hearing Algaya throwing up through the walls, Nastya quickly slid off the bed and made to move towards the bathroom when something in the corner of her eye, where Aglaya had been, caught her attention. Walking around to the other side of the bed, Nastya picked up what seemed to be a photo and turned it over. Her heart skipped a beat and her knees suddenly felt weak. She could barely recognise her sister, she looked so awful. It must have been taken when her sister was still in the hospital. Apparently, Nastya had been right to worry that week, clearly. She just knew that she wasn’t being paranoid for nothing, that mother hadn’t been telling her everything.

Her brow furrowed deeply, wondering where on Earth Aglayka had got the photo from. She hadn’t seen it at all earlier when she first arrived, and she was sure she’d have seen it if she had accidentally brought it from the office (though why such a photo would be there didn’t make sense at all)... and it hadn’t just suddenly appeared out of nowhere, she was sure. The only logical conclusion that Nastya could make was that it must have been in a letter, but as she glanced at the bed, there were no opened letters nearby where Aglaya had been, other than the ones near her smoothie. Quickly, Nastya flicked through them to give them the once over but they all seemed fine.

It was terrible timing but if Aglaya was hiding something from her, especially something related to the poisoning, then she needed to know, she wanted so desperately to help. Nastya was fed up with being entirely useless to her sister, and though they had their difference, Nastya wanted to fix everything. Nastya almost snarled, angry that she was clearly being kept in the dark about something.

She ran out the bedroom door, holding the photo in her hand and quickly turned into the bathroom to see her sister leant against the bathtub and looking terrible. Nastya frowned at the sight as she entered, gingerly stepping over Aglaya’s legs, and trying to not look at the sick that was floating in the toilet as she flushed it.

Keeping some space between them, Anastasiya gently crouched down opposite her elder sister. The younger sister held out the photo in her hand, though it did not face Aglaya, as she couldn’t help but stare at it, at her sister’s ghostly image. She shuddered, scared beyond belief, but it quickly manifested as anger. “Where did you get this photo?” Nastya aggressively tapped against the photo in her hand, staring at Aglayka with great intensity. “Is this what this is about?” She asked, though she already knew the answer to the question in her gut. Though it probably wasn’t the priority, Nastya was somewhat relieved that it wasn’t her smoothie that caused this. Though, she was rather cross all that hard work she did making it and forcing her sister to sip it had now been in vain. “Was it in a letter? Did you hide it?” Nastya pressed, eyebrows raised, almost saddened that this was her first conclusion. Nastya couldn’t think of any other reasonable explanation. “What are you not telling me?” She added with narrowed eyes, trying to be kind, but the situation was terrifying and she couldn’t help lashing out.

She abruptly stood up, feeling utterly useless in these situations once again. The only sensible thing that came to her mind was to call their mother and ask for her help. She had made the mistake of not calling for her mother last time, and she was not going to make that mistake again. Hopefully, Alyona wasn’t too busy. “I’m going to get mother to come right now.” Nastya stated before she rushed out the room, the photo still clutched in her hands. She re-entered the bedroom, and headed towards Aglayka’s vanity, in order to use the two-way mirror.

“Alyona,” she called out to activate the mirror. “Mama,” she added afterwards, “can you hear me?” Nastya spoke quickly and with urgency, though her voice did not shake or give any indication of how worried she was becoming. “You need to come here right now. Aglaya threw up… and I think this had something to do with it.” Nastya held up the photograph to the mirror as she said this for Alyona to see for several seconds before lowering it again. “Please hurry,” Nastya quietly pleaded.  I didn’t know what to do, and I don’t want to leave her by herself for too long.” She calmly said, hoping her mother would appreciate how level-headed she was being.

Aglaya was barely aware that her sister had followed her until she stepped over her legs to flush the toilet and then sank down opposite her holding what seemed to be the photo that she had been sent. Aglaya swallowed hard, her eyes widening slightly, afraid what her sister would have to say about it. She was mad at herself now that she had not hidden the photo just like she had done with the letter. Nastya's voice sounded aggressive as she confronted her and the elder sister lowered her head, totally taking everything Nastya said against herself. All her younger sibling's questions felt like an attack now and Aglaya shuddered. 'Leave me alone,' she thought. Then, realising that she hadn't spoken these words aloud, she repeated them in a barely audible whisper. She was unable to deal with her sister or anyone now and forever or that was at least how she felt.

Aglaya changed her position, pulling her legs to her chest, resting her forehead on her knees as she flung her arms around her legs. She felt cold and unable to talk to anyone, unable to explain herself. She was barely aware of how tense her whole body was and that she was holding her breath until Nastya abruptly stood up, startling her. Aglaya finally exhaled and looked up to see her sister leave the bathroom. On her way out her younger sister announced that she'd get their mother to come and Aglaya just weakly shook her head. "No," she pleaded but her voice sounded nothing like her own. "Please..." she added but Nastya was already gone.

She was shivering now as she sat there crouched down on the cool tiles of her bathroom, her fingers cramping as she hugged her legs as though her life depended on it. Time seemed to stand still. She felt like she'd just remain right where she was until the end of time. Like a demon the letter appeared in front of her inner eye, the words and their meaning sinking in some more. She felt tense, terrified, and tortured. The possibility that her stalker might get caught at some point did not even occur to her. Aglaya was certain that this was her reality now and that she could never escape him.

As soon as Alyona saw her younger daughter's face in the two-way mirror, she knew that something was not right. Her heartbeat quickened as she grabbed her hand mirror. What Nastya showed her was enough of a reason to stop by Aglaya's place even without the younger sibling urging her. 'Give me five minutes,' she said quietly before putting the mirror down and hurrying into her room at the artistic flying school where she quickly grabbed a few vials filled with potions that she figured might be useful if the situation turned out to be the way she imagined.

Moments later Alyona stepped into Aglaya's home, taking a deep breath before climbing up the stairs to the first floor. She passed the deserted bedroom and made her way towards the bathroom. After the briefest moment of hesitation she stepped in, offering her younger daughter half a smile before hunkering down next to Aglaya.

Aglaya only noticed that her mother had arrived when Alyona touched her shoulder. She flinched and glanced briefly at her mother, her expression unreadable.

'Nastenka asked me to come,' Alyona said quietly. 'She showed me the photo.'

The older of the Tikhomirova sisters just stared into nothingness, unable to even try to think of any kind of reaction. She did not move out of her cramped and defensive position either.

'We should get you back into your bedroom,' Alyona said calmly, trying to offer a comforting smile but it was more of a grimace. 'And then you'll tell me where this photo came from.' Then she turned to face Nastya. 'I think I'll need your help here,' she said, her voice sounding casual although beneath the surface Alyona was worried out of her mind. She gently placed her hand on Aglaya's, grabbing it and carefully trying to pull her up.

Aglaya shook her head slightly as her mother said that she should tell her about the photo and tried to make her get to her feet. Soon Nastya was by her other side and the two women forced her up. She felt dizzy and would most likely have collapsed right on the spot if Nastya and Alyona hadn't held her. Why did they force her up anyway? What did it matter if she was sitting here or in bed? She was too weak to fight though and even though she wasn't sure why her mother wanted her back in the bedroom she felt rather indifferent all of a sudden.

Once in the bedroom, Aglaya sat on the corner of the mattress just where she had hidden the letter, unwilling to lay down, hand over the letter, or say anything.

'Aglayka, where did you get the photo from?' Alyona asked, hoping to sound kind and patient when she was really struggling to keep calm. 'Did you get a letter? Where is it? You know that I'll find it anyway.' She paused and sighed. 'Lay down now, I'll give you a potion that'll make you feel better as soon as you tell me what happened and give me whatever you've been sent.'

As her mother pressed her gently down onto the pillow and lifted her legs onto the mattress, Aglaya tensed some more but ultimately she didn't fight it. Nothing really mattered anyway, or did it?

Alyona looked around, suspecting that her eldest daughter would have hidden the letter and soon spotting a tiny bit of parchment between the frame of the bed and its mattress. She pulled it out, not even asking what it was. Her face turned white as a sheet as she read it. 'Did you intend to hide this from me?' she then asked, her voice trembling.

The moment Alyona found the letter, Aglaya immediately sat up straight again, her eyes wide in shock. “No, don't...” Her voice sounded strangely shrill and weak at the same time. It was already too late anyway, her mother was reading the letter. Aglaya felt more like a victim now than ever before in her life and looked down, waiting for her mother to tell her off for having got herself into this situation.

[out]

Aglaya seemed… almost afraid of her, at least that was how it seemed to Nastya, though she supposed her sister was more afraid of the barrage of questions she was asking. If she wasn’t trying so desperately to be the best substitute for their mother before she arrived, Nastya was sure that her heart would have broken and she’d be crying, begging Aglayka to talk to her. Her elder sister’s fear wasn’t surprising, and Nastya found herself able to empathise, afraid for her sister too. She could see Aglayka’s lips moving, but couldn’t hear what was being said. Nastya didn’t think it important though, and so it didn’t change her plans to get their mother.

Her sister looked so vulnerable curled up in a ball, and Nastya found her hands curling up in a ball to match. She was so angry. Not only at the person who had done this to her sister, but at herself too. This seemed like it was her fault again. Anastasiya decided that she shouldn’t have brought the letters, that Aglayka would have never seen it, if not for her. She had tried to be kind and do the right thing by bringing the fan letters, when all the sight of them did was make her feel envious and jealous of how everyone loved her sister, that she was so popular and successful on a scale that she felt she could never be. Once again, her good deed had backfired and Aglaya was left to suffer for it. Nastya began to wonder why she tried to be kind at all. Perhaps, it was better to leave her sister alone and treat her as the rival she was. Nastya felt too selfish for that, though.

She breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing her mother’s voice through the mirror. “Thank you,” Nastya replied in a wobbly voice, feeling it was more and more difficult to remain calm, strong and in control of her emotions. Her mother’s face faded, and Nastya stood up from the vanity, paced up and down the length of the bedroom for a few seconds, taking deep breaths as she did so whilst moving her forearms up and down in time with her breaths. Feeling a little stronger, Nastya headed back into the bathroom.

As the younger sister re-entered, she gently perched on the edge of the bath, keeping some distance from Aglayka. While she was outwardly looking calm, her heartbeat was making her top quiver as it beat so quickly and strongly. She sat in perfect silence as they waited for Alyona to arrive. Nastya wanted to hug her sister so badly, but kept away, worried perhaps Aglaya would lash out at her. She wondered if the elder Tikhomirova sister blamed her, like she was currently blaming herself.

Noticing Alyona in the doorway, Nastya returned her mother’s half-smile with a relieved one of her own. She watched as her mother knelt down to Aglayka’s level and stood up straight as her mother did so. She rolled her ankle in a circle, fidgeting and feeling awkward that she wasn’t doing anything useful. Nastya merely gazed at the one-way exchange, how Aglaya just didn’t react. She had hoped that Aglayka would answer her mother about the photo, but her sister remained silent. Nastya started chewing her thumbnail, getting agitated.

Though she wasn’t being personally addressed, Nastya nodded as her mother said to Aglaya that they should go back to the bedroom. She even managed a small smile, glad that Alyona wasn’t going to give up on forcing Aglayka to tell them where the photo had came from. Nastya wanted to know exactly who had sent her sister such a horrible picture so that she could hex them so badly that their eyes came out of their sockets and turned into poisonous snakes that would bite them until they died. “Okay,” Nastya acknowledged, as her mother finally spoke to her. She grabbed Aglayka’s other hand and rather forcefully pulled her sister up. She used her free hand to grip Aglaya’s elbow, mirroring their mother, and they slowly made their way back to the bedroom in tense silence.

Together, they let Aglaya sit down where she had been before on the bed, and as soon as she let go, Nastya immediately began scanning the room nearby, convinced that Aglayka had hidden a letter that the photo must have come out of. It seemed to be at the front of her mother’s mind too, as Alyona asked her sister of the letter’s whereabouts. Aglaya kept quiet though, and Nastya had to bite down on her lip to stop herself from tutting in frustration. She poked about, near the glass of the smoothie again, and underneath the pillow just before Alyona told her sister to lie back and pressed her down. Nastya crouched down, and started patting underneath the bed, as her mother moved Aglaya’s legs. It was going to drive her insane if she didn’t find the letter, especially as it was so concerning that Aglaya didn’t fight her mother at all.

Hearing Aglaya protest about something, Nastya instantly stood up and turned to see Alyona holding a letter in her hand. Nastya’s hand instantly twitched to reach for it, but instead Nastya paced up and down waiting for their mother to react or say something. As soon as her voice registered, she didn’t even care what Alyona had asked, Anastasiya darted over and ripped the letter straight out of her mother’s hands. She needed to know what the letter said. She needed to know what pig had done this and make them pay.

Her mother, of course, instantly protested, “Anastasiya! Don’t you dare read it!” The warning was completely ignored, as she dodged her mother’s outstretched arm and danced out of either witch’s reach, reading it as quickly as she could as Alyona started following her to take it from her. The more Nastya read, the more disturbed she was. Such an influx of emotions attacked her that she didn’t know how to react, so she just… didn’t react at all. She sank down on the other side of the bed, merely glancing at Aglayka, giving Alyona enough time to snatch it back out of her hands. The damage was done, however, she had read the whole thing.

Alyona stood by Nastya's side, folding the letter back up and gripping it tightly in her hands, just watching her youngest daughter for a reaction. She was expecting Nastenka’s predictably explosive temper. However, her daughter didn’t do that. She caught eye contact with Nastya for a second or two, but it was almost impossible to tell what she was thinking for there was almost no reaction at all.

Nastya was angry, of course; she was angry at Aglayka for hiding such a thing, angry at the disgusting animal who had sent such a revolting letter, but mostly, Anastasiya was just angry at herself. But her rage wasn’t going to help anyone in the awful situation they were in.

She glanced at her mother, then glanced at Aglaya who just lay there not moving. Nastya used her arms to scooch up higher onto the bed, slowly lying down on her side and gently wrapped her arm around Aglaya in a hug, her head slotting perfectly into the gap between Aglayka’s head and shoulders. Anastasiya kept silent, completely speechless, as she tried to wrap her head around the letter. What it meant, what it really and truly meant. It was difficult to know to think or feel. She closed her eyes briefly and when she opened them she saw the clock on her sister’s vanity. She only had fifteen minutes left until her break was over and training began.

Nastya had to keep going. Mother was there now, and she reasoned that Aglaya would be safer with Alyona than herself. After all, she’d caused all this. This was her fault. She just had to leave. She had to train. These thoughts, combined with the strong emotional reaction and the unnoticed empty stomach, created such a strong wave of nausea that Nastya abruptly sat up and slid off the bed, looking straight at Alyona.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” She monotonously stated, holding her hand on her stomach, and the other hovering around her mouth just in case. “I have my lesson with Andrey Viktorovich to get to,” she added, “I should not be late.” Her lunch was now completely forgotten, and Nastya jerked her head in Aglaya’s direction. “You will stay here.” It was supposed to be a question, but came out as a statement. Alyona nodded, clearly understanding her meaning. “Yes, of course. Get to practice.”

Nastya didn’t think she could stand being there a second longer. Immediately, she disapparated to the school’s entrance. From there, she ran the whole way to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her to one of the cubicles and sank down on the flow. Nastya retched into the toilet, unable to bring anything up as there wasn’t anything to bring up. A few tears ran down her cheeks from the forced effort, and she hastily wiped them away. Mechanically, Nastya marched to her locker to grab her broom, and went out onto the main arena just in time, as if nothing had ever happened, though the empty pit in her stomach was there to remind her.

[out]